Debut or Die Chapter 132

Author: LyraDhani

It wasn’t the first time I ever saw this kind of sight.

 

It was not unusual for fans to give an event to a singer at a concert.

 

I had seen it three or four times when I was asked to do data.

 

I’d never felt particularly excited watching it.

 

I just thought that it was amazing how they could do it at the right timing without getting paid.

 

But this… Being the subject myself, it was a completely different experience.

 

Is it possible to feel that each and every one of those countless twinkling lights is a person’s heart?

 

This overwhelming sense of sharing a collective experience at the center, not as an outsider.

 

I didn’t know, I didn’t know what to say.

 

“…”

 

Meanwhile, the singing continued.

 

It was my part.

 

Even if there’s nothing that doesn’t change

The magic of this moment

Maybe it’s YOU

 

An unimaginable shudder ran all the way to my toes, as if hot water had been poured over the top of my head.

 

“…Huft.”

 

I hurriedly lowered my head. I felt better once it disappeared from my sight.

 

But at the same time, I wanted to look up and see more.

 

‘…What a mess.’

 

It was ridiculous.

 

In my ears, I could still hear the constant singing voices.

 

I feel good today

I think something good is going to happen

 

In addition, now the other guys were joining in and singing.

 

The first was Keun Sejin.

 

“…If it’s you, everything will be fine~”

 

They must be very touched, I could hear their trembling voices as each of them sang their parts.

 

L-LIFE is strange, lightly….”

 

Sniffling, Kim Raebin continued the rap part.

 

And soon my part came.

 

‘…I’m going crazy.’

 

I picked up the microphone for now.

 

“…When you see me.”

 

The single verse was scattered. The words that came in late didn’t continue properly.

 

‘Damn it.’

 

I gritted my teeth.

 

Perhaps they thought it was strange that the silence lengthened, and at last, their gazes finally poured out.

 

“…Moondae?”

 

“M-Moondae?”

 

“Are you crying?”

 

Suddenly, several hands shook my shoulders and tapped my back and the back of my neck. Flustered exclamations mixed in between the voices of the fans who were singing.

 

‘…Oh, my gosh.’

 

I pressed the area around my eyes with one hand.

 

Then I raised my head and looked around as calmly as I could.

 

Most of the members had tears in their eyes.

 

But even if their eyes were glassy and tearful, the ones who shed tears… none of them did.

 

Even Bae Sejin didn’t cry like this.

 

‘F*ck.’

 

Right now it was just me… Am I the only one who became a weirdo?

 

“Oh my gosh.”

 

“Moondae is being like this.”

 

These guys laughed a few times, and fortunately, they began to cry in earnest. It was clear that they were holding back.

 

“…Let’s do our best.”

 

Drunk with the atmosphere, they mercilessly hugged me on the top of my head and on my shoulders. It was hot.

 

I didn’t know if the hugging was suffocating, or if this situation itself was suffocating.

 

What should I do?

Don’t cry.

It’s okay.

 

While the bridge was playing, all kinds of shouts came to my ears instead of the sound of singing.

 

“Phew.”

 

The hug was released, and Keun Sejin, who ran to somewhere and came back, held a cloth in front of my face.

 

Without thinking, I grabbed it and pressed it to my face.

 

I could see indigo letters on a light purple background.

 

…It was a slogan.

 

Someone had thrown it onto the stage.

 

‘It’s driving me crazy.’

 

I just buried my face. I would have looked very, very funny.

 

Someone patted me roughly on the head.

 

“Good job.”

 

Before the bridge was over, I was led by the members and walked out to the front of the stage. And holding hands side by side, I bowed my head and saluted.

 

Instead of the sound of singing, shouts rang in my head.

 

I staggered and picked up the microphone.

 

“…Yes, the magic is you.”

 

Fortunately, I managed to sing the last verse.

 

After the fan event disguised as a talk was over, I barely managed to say a few words of my feelings before coming down the stage.

 

It was only then that I stopped crying.

 

‘…I should have stopped crying five minutes ago.’

 

It was ridiculous.

 

I never thought that the situation where I cried for the first time in nearly 7 years would be live in front of a camera with 13,000 people.

 

‘…I shouldn’t have avoided SNS monitoring.’

 

It would have been better if I had known in advance, but since the concert was right around the corner, we all had agreed to not look at the Internet for about a week so that we didn’t get influenced.

 

It wasn’t an activity that required special monitoring, so I thought it would be okay.

 

‘Meanwhile, this… I didn’t expect that things were secretly coming and going behind the scenes.’

 

There would never be such useless Internet detoxification again in my life.

 

I almost crumpled the slogan in my hand, but I managed to hold it in and folded it up and put it on a nearby chair.

 

“Hey, you really didn’t expect this. You didn’t cry even when winning first place.”

 

“…”

 

“As expected, you’re a man born to be an idol. Crying only in front of the fans’ love… Kyaa.”

 

“Stop it.”

 

When it came down to the topic of his sobbing, he only kept his mouth shut. Keun Sejin changed his clothes with a chuckle.

 

“A-Are you okay?”

 

“…I am fine.”

 

They were really worried so I couldn’t even get angry.

 

Seon Ahyeon seemed very touched, but he didn’t cry that much, so his face was fine, saving the staff the trouble.

 

On the other hand, Bae Sejin came down and burst into tears, making the staff flustered.

 

“…How are you feeling, hyung?”

 

“I-I’m fine.”

 

Bae Sejin barely stopped sniffing and finished his make-up.

 

“We don’t have much time left. We have to move.”

 

Ryu Chungwoo, who cried quickly and came to his senses quickly, swiftly took control of the situation. Next to him, Cha Eugene, who didn’t cry and was just excited, had already changed his clothes.

 

“Go, go!”

 

…Right, it was time to go.

 

The long-awaited title stage was waiting.

 

“VCR has 50 seconds left!”

 

We ran and moved to the standby location.

 

Perhaps the set was already up on the center stage with the lights off.

 

I remembered a scene from a movie.

 

An antique mansion. Dusty chandeliers, butterfly specimens, and rusty cages.

And a clockwork on the back.

 

“Going up!”

 

The stage setting began to move.

 

As soon as the floor opened and our heads were exposed on the stage, lights and cheers began to roar.

 

Whaaaaaaa-

 

But now was not the time to be overwhelmed. It was time to put all the sentiments aside and focus again.

 

Blue lights were put on the stage.

 

Testar took formation.

 

* * *

 

“Phew…”

 

On the weekend night of the 31st, after two days of Testar’s concert.

 

Park Moondae’s homma staggered forward, clutching her bag.

 

The bag contained a commendable camera that had completed its filming mission in the standing area.

 

She attended the concerts for two days, cried for two days, took pictures, and even watched the stage while standing today, so her stamina had run out.

 

But she had no regret. Not even a speck of it!

 

‘It was so good…’

 

From start to finish, she couldn’t wish for more.

 

Not only it was good because they did their best, but the stage itself was great and so much fun.

 

She felt like she was in another world for a while.

 

‘It’s too bad that it was over within two days…!’

 

She wished she could have two more days.

 

And even though she was just on her way out, she already missed live Testar so much.

 

Unable to control her boiling heart, she opened her phone and logged on to SNS.

 

And she took the pictures from the camera with her smartphone again, and uploaded them quickly, albeit with poor quality.

 

=========================

[2X0331 Last Day Concert Park Moondae Preview]

(Photo of Park Moondae’s emotional tears) (Photo of Park Moondae pointing his finger to his cheek on the unit stage) (Photo of Park Moondae looking back on the wire)

I love you, Moondae

#Testar #TeSTAR #ParkMoondae #MoonPuppy

=========================

 

The homma’s heart especially ached whenever she saw the first attached photo.

 

It was the photo of Park Moondae holding back tears while holding a paper with both hands and slightly lowering his head.

 

The homma banged her chest inwardly.

 

‘My kid is truly a puppy angel…’

 

Park Moondae also cried on the second day of the concert.

 

Fans prepared an event different from the first day, namely, blowing a paper airplane toward Testar while singing a fan song during the encore.

 

Naturally, Testar was overwhelmed again by the enormous sight of 10,000 colorful paper planes floating together in the concert hall.

 

And Testar, who grabbed some of the planes that luckily landed on stage, was able to check the content inside themselves.

 

– T-This…

– Wait a minute, ah…

-…

 

Fans had written down what they wanted to say inside each piece of paper folded into the plane.

 

It was a brutally touching event.

 

In the process, some members were brought to tears, and among them, Park Moondae’s appearance was taken as the homma’s first preview photo.

 

And Park Moondae… Having an image as someone who seemed the least likely to cry, he was also the member who cried the most at the concert.

 

Even when winning first place in Idol Inc, winning first place in the music show after debut, or at any award ceremonies, the waterfalls of tears from the person who laughed instead of shedding a single tear in those events were tremendously destructive.

 

On the first day, not only fans but also various communities were turned upside down.

 

– Crazy, Gommeo cried?

└He didn’t cry, he was just sobbing (photo)

└Heol

└He was steaming and full of tears

-ㅋㅋㅋ I thought he wouldn’t cry even if he won the Grand Prize, but he crumbled immediately just after one concert’s sing-along. How thrilling

└Hey pervert! (cover your mouth)

└If you put away this bastard’s hand, he would be smiling

└How did you know

– I buy the VOD if I cry at the concert. I bought this one. I want to see it in high definition soon.

└ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㄹㅇ

– All of them cry a lot. I also would have cried if the first concert was gymnastics.

└Your aggro is f*cking twisted. I think it’s because they grew up while enjoying the taste society’s chicken fire even before their debut so they know how precious it is

└Yes, even if they don’t know, they’re the ones who will pretend to know, so it tastes sucksㅋ If they couldn’t do this, they would have already been beaten and eliminated in Idol Inc.

– Yes, wearing a pink ribbon and fooling around, my once-in-a-millennium Gommeo♡ Shamstar, be nice to Gommeo, he’s reviving the bad selections♡♡ Gommeo, cry a lot and keep feeling indebted to your fans♡♡

└ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋSolo stans coming in

 

For your information, Shamstar was an anti-search name for Testar that had been modified to the limit.

 

(TL notes: It’s originally shambyeol and byeol = star.)

 

In any case, Testar’s concert progress was quickly shared in various places, from communities where people were gossiping without a filter to fan accounts with courtesy and common sense.

 

There were all kinds of topics to talk about, including the new unit stage, the unconventional new song stage, and the crying, so it was probably only natural.

 

As a proof, the homma’s Park Moondae preview share easily broke the thousandth mark in less than 5 minutes after it was posted.

 

The responses of acquaintances and followers were also excellent.

 

– Moondae’s blonde hair is precious. I’ll definitely protect it.

SO CUTE♡

– Aigoo, our Moon Puppy cried againㅠㅠ Thank you as always, Full Moonbe-nim!

His real skin color is beautiful, too. STOP whitewashing (crying emoticon)

└It’s an unedited preview. Get the hell out of here, there’s no whitewashing anywhere;

 

Maybe because there were a lot of overseas fans, foreign language aggro was also starting to appear.

 

‘They’re picking a fight with every hommas.’

 

The homma easily ignored it because it was something she had seen before. And she quickly got on the subway that just arrived.

 

‘Ugh, there are so many people…’

 

On the first day, she could go home comfortably because she got a friend’s car from another place, but such a fluke was impossible today.

 

‘I should have taken a taxi or a hotel!’

 

When she was about to regret it, fortunately, she found a seat right in front of her and she was able to sit down.

 

‘Thank goodness.’

 

The homma took out her camera as soon as she sat down and began to flip through the footage.

 

Because the new song stage hadn’t left the corner of her mind.

 

‘It was really crazy.’

 

She didn’t expect them to bring something like that.

 

But she was so thankful that they did!

 

Since the first impact was important, it was implicit that she shouldn’t upload photos or fancams of the new song stage until midnight, but to be honest, she really wanted to brag.

 

‘Let’s just replay it.’

 

When the homma was about to check the fancam she had filmed today, a vibration suddenly rang from her knee.

 

It was her smartphone.

 

And in the notification box… There was unexpected news.

 

[Inviting Loviewers to Testar’s concert after party! (clapping emoticon)]

 

It was a W live notification!

Table of Contents
Reader Settings
Font Size
Line Height
Font
Donation
Amount
LyraDhani

Ko-fi Ko-fi

Comments (22)

  1. This chapter got me teary eyed 🤧
    Whenever people who never cried break down like that it’s always so heartbreaking 🤧🤧

  2. Haha Bae Sejin controls his tears on stage like a true actor, only cries off screen. Moondae was right, he needed that anti-crying skill! But better that he cried so he can show how much the fans mean to him?

  3. MOONDAE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAEHURDHIUDE2OHIFCQLJL;KRJ;LKFJOI24PREOIIOP?????????????!?!??!?! I???????????????

    ok i’ve literally read this chapter before but it gets me every time. it’s just. even as a narrator, moondae always downplays how much things mean to him. it’s cute most of the time, but it is somewhat a defense mechanism. he wants to be all pragmatic; people like moondae irl, who were forced to mature early and take care of themselves, are sometimes like this. they feel like being too happy or focusing too much on the positives will pull them away from reality, like they have to keep their cards close to their chest.

    that’s why it’s so amazing that he cries here. he’d been forced into debuting by the system, but obviously, he’s happy being an idol now. i’m really, really happy whenever moondae actually acknowledges and shows this. just…that he’s happy.

    ahhh…when this comes out in the manhwa…what will i do? lol

    anyway THANK YOU FOR THE CHAPTER!!!

  4. Bc I relate a little with moondae ik how frustrated he must have been for not being able to hold back his tears, especially for someone like him who always has controlled his feelings and portraits his actions has something rational that benefits him. Honestly i’m happy to know he cried a lot, he just let himself feel freely all this emotions of being so loved and supported, an experience that he didn’t have in his previous life when he was all alone❤️‍🩹

  5. After he said all that stuff about never letting his guard down again he cried the next day END MEEE he’s so precious

  6. nawt the whitewashing mention LMAO thanks for the translation !!

  7. im so glad he discarded the anti-tears or wtv. moondae always hides his emotions so it’s refreshing to see him this way and hey, crying is good for ur eyes too

  8. He is always so grateful for the fans, i’m happy that he enjoyed the fan-events. That type of stuff is so meaningful for the artists that have been through a lot 💗

  9. I was balling out my eyes in this chapter and the last chapter ㅠㅠ thank you for translation

  10. I was balling out my eyes in this chapter and the last chapter ㅠㅠ thank you for translation

  11. Moondae really went through a lot… this is my fave chapter I can’t wait for it to be in the Manhua

  12. Bro I fr cried lmao wtf, it’s just the fact that someone like moondae who never got emotional before got emotional bcz he realized how much the fans love him. I would’ve cried too if I was in his place lolol..

  13. Such a unreliable narrator moondae!
    I cried while I read the homma pov 😢 very 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭