Love Born of Pity Chapter 105

Leaving Kwon Heeyeon behind, Do Yeonjae stepped out of the hotel and tugged down the necktie neatly tied below his throat. He also undid a few buttons he had fastened all the way to the top. Chief Kim drove the car without asking a single question. He was heading toward the residential hotel where Do Yeonjae had been staying recently.

Do Yeonjae stared listlessly at the familiar road, then suddenly opened his mouth.

“Mr. Chief Kim.”

“Yes, President.”

“Have you ever apologized to someone?”

“…I didn’t quite hear you.”

In truth, he had heard him clearly, but he wasn’t sure if his understanding was correct. Glancing at Do Yeonjae through the rearview mirror, he saw that Do Yeonjae had one hand propping up his chin, his gaze still fixed outside the window. He must have misheard after all.

“You heard me right.”

“Pardon? Ah… In that case, yes. I do it often.”

“Often?”

“I do it at least once a day, without fail.”

Do Yeonjae found it strange that a situation requiring an apology more than once a day could even arise. Is the person he’s meeting a bit sensitive? The words ‘apologizing often’ felt foreign, as Chief Kim was the type to take very good care of those around him.

“Why do you do it?”

“…Well.”

Why does he do it? In the course of professional life, situations arise where one has to apologize for things that aren’t one’s own fault, as if they were. Especially these days, Do Yeonjae was extremely sensitive, flying into a rage at the slightest annoyance.

“Because I make mistakes…”

“Then do they accept it?”

“…For the most part, they do.”

“They must be a good person.”

The corners of Chief Kim’s eyes crinkled. It was astonishing that Do Yeonjae thought of himself as a good person. Is he not very self-aware? Shouldn’t he know better than anyone that he has a bad personality?

“So, how long has it been?”

“…It’s been ten years since I joined the company.”

“What are you talking about now? I’m asking about your relationship. Aren’t you seeing someone? They must have quite a personality, seeing as Chief Kim apologizes every day.”

Only then did Chief Kim realize that their conversation had been running on parallel tracks the whole time. He had thought Do Yeonjae was being uncharacteristically magnanimous.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I misunderstood what you meant.”

“Misunderstood?”

“I am not seeing anyone. I took your question to be about a work-related situation.”

“Hmm, then let me ask again. Have you ever fought and apologized while in a relationship?”

Do Yeonjae straightened his head and stared intently at him. Chief Kim’s face, which had always maintained the same expression, was now colored with embarrassment. The area around his cheekbones turned red.

“W-well, yes. Of course. We would fight, and we would make up…”

“What did you usually fight about, and how?”

“We fought over problems like me not having time for dates, or not contacting her often. We fought with words. Sometimes, though, if she hit me, I’d just take it.”

“…Is that something to fight about?”

It was strange. Do Yeonjae hadn’t contacted Kwon Jiho often, even when he was by his side. After installing CCTVs in the academy and the house, there was even less reason to contact him. Whenever he was curious about what he was doing, he could just look at the monitor. Just imagining the cotton-puff-like hand hitting him caused a throbbing pain in his chest.

“Also… we’d fight over picking the dinner menu when we were on a date.”

A date, a date… On holidays, he would occasionally take Kwon Jiho out. In a way where he would unilaterally inform him of the plan, without asking what he wanted to do. Could that be called a date too?

“…Why would you fight over that?”

“We were going out to eat together, but I often decided on my own. Because I didn’t ask what my girlfriend liked and disliked… as her disappointment built up, it turned into a fight.”

“…Isn’t the menu something I should just decide on appropriately? To make them feel like they’re being treated.”

Every time he ate out with Kwon Jiho, he had selfishly decided on the menu and taken him there. Then Kwon Jiho would eat whatever was served without saying what he liked or disliked. No, did he eat well? Even that was not certain. His embellished memory only clearly recalled the beautifully smiling face that always thanked him for the good meal.

“Because it’s one-sided. If you have to eat food you don’t like, wouldn’t that feel less like being treated and more like being tormented…?”

“…Hah.”

At the deep sigh, Chief Kim shut his mouth. The atmosphere seemed unusually serious.

“Then.”

“Yes?”

“How do you apologize? Do you buy them a gift or something? Something expensive, or something like that.”

“Pardon? No, I usually apologize with words. Sincerely. I have to genuinely apologize, saying I’m sorry for not understanding your feelings, so that the person on the receiving end can accept it… O-of course, giving a gift isn’t a bad method either. There might be people who dislike it… but there probably aren’t many. Yes. Th-that… But I don’t think Mr. Kwon Jiho would like it.”

All of Do Yeonjae’s questions were about Kwon Jiho. As he changed lanes to enter the hotel, Chief Kim added a few presumptuous words.

“I don’t know if this will be of any help, but if you tell him you’re sincerely sorry, don’t you think he might soften up at least a little?”

At the cautiously offered opinion, Do Yeonjae’s eyebrows furrowed fiercely. He let out an irritated sigh and opened his mouth.

“Honestly, I don’t know what I did so wrong. My grandfather, and now my father, they don’t tell me what Jiho is up to anymore.”

“…”

“Everyone says it’s my fault, but honestly, I still don’t really get it. He asked for help, so I helped him, and I received compensation. Is there any fault of mine in that?”

“It wasn’t a typical form of sponsorship… Mr. Kwon Jiho’s debt continued to grow even when he was meeting you, President. He just didn’t know because he was naive and young, but if he had had even a little experience of the world, he would never… have continued the relationship.”

Even while feeling the piercing gaze on the back of his head, Chief Kim continued speaking undeterred. As someone who had stood by and watched as Kwon Jiho was driven into a pit, shouldn’t he at least do this much?

“…And as I told you then, Mr. Kwon Jiho and you, President, are not tied by debt or anything else at present. Do you still think you are helping him? Even when you know what choice Mr. Kwon Jiho has made?”

At the voice that pointed things out one by one, albeit hesitantly, Do Yeonjae frowned deeply. He wanted to answer each point, but when he tried to part his lips, no words came out. Hah, fuck. Only intermittent curses like filler words followed.

“I don’t know the details. I don’t know much about what happened between the two of you, or how you treated Mr. Kwon Jiho, President… but wasn’t he always intimidated? Like someone who was preemptively afraid and watched your every move, scared of being scolded.”

He wondered if he was being too honest with his boss, but he felt he had nothing to lose.

He wasn’t Kwon Jiho’s spokesperson, but if no one told him, it seemed Do Yeonjae would never realize. And it didn’t seem likely that the good-natured Kwon Jiho would tell him candidly. Now, he was the only one who could say anything to the man who claimed not to know what he did wrong.

“It’s a fact that you didn’t cherish him, isn’t it?”

“…”

“You treated him roughly. You have to apologize for all of that as well. For treating him carelessly. You helped Mr. Kwon Jiho, but you were not a good person to him. You were bad.”

“Why are you telling me this now and not back then? Is it because it’s not your business, someone else’s, so you’re telling me to go screw myself, is that it?”

The expression ‘the thief turning on the master’ must have been coined for a situation like this. He felt deeply wronged, but at Do Yeonjae’s troubled expression and the sigh that seemed to have been dredged up from the pit of his stomach, he let out another apology out of habit.

“…I am sorry.”

“I’m not getting any calls from the main house. No matter how long I wait… they don’t call.”

His own heart growing unsettled, Chief Kim stopped the car in front of the residential hotel entrance, and Do Yeonjae hopped out. As Chief Kim opened the driver’s side door and got out, Do Yeonjae waved his hand dismissively at him, telling him to go on in, and strode into the lobby.

While waiting for the elevator, while riding it up, and even after arriving in the empty room, Do Yeonjae thought of Kwon Jiho. Then, he took the pajamas of Kwon Jiho’s that he had brought with him into the bedroom and quickly finished his shower.

Slicking back his wet hair, he perched on the edge of the bed and clutched the pajamas that had been placed neatly to one side. The scent felt fainter than when he first smelled it. Like a fetishist, he buried his nose in the piece of cloth and breathed heavily, but unable to overcome the impulse to smell him directly, he finally got up.

Even if he went, he would just end up pacing around the wall before coming back, but still, he couldn’t just sit still. He changed into some light clothes, grabbed only his car key, and left the room. He wanted to see Kwon Jiho.

♬⋆.˚

He hadn’t had any particular thoughts on the way to the main house, but after parking the car beneath the high wall, his mind was a mess of all sorts of stray thoughts.

His hand on the steering wheel tapped nervously on it. After fidgeting for a bit, Do Yeonjae decided to get out. When he turned off the ignition, the headlights that had been brightly illuminating the front gate went out. Only the light from the streetlamp settled down serenely.

Should he climb the wall one more time? Pacing around the area, Do Yeonjae contemplated for a bit longer, then, as if having made a decision, he lightly hopped onto the hood of the car. He was about to step on the roof to scale the wall when another vehicle came up the road at a slow speed. The bright headlights shone fully on Do Yeonjae.

As if the light was glaring, Do Yeonjae opened his palm and covered his face. He was still on top of the car. Unable to even think of getting down, he froze, and soon the vehicle’s lights blinked off. He wanted to check whose car it was, but not knowing the vehicle identification number, he was just annoyed.

Could it be his grandfather? If so, he should have come earlier without hesitating.

The rear passenger door opened. An elongated figure soon revealed itself. A man, with a more slender frame than his grandfather, spoke in a composed voice.

“Do Yeonjae.”

“Ah.”

Even in the darkness, his handsome features, as if drawn, shone. Do Yeonjae’s gaze turned toward the man who had gotten out wearing a long trench coat.

“What on earth are you.”

“You’re here.”

Leaping nimbly off the roof, Do Yeonjae bowed his head as he watched Do Geonho approach him.

“Are you trying to climb the, the wall right now…?”

“I’ve already climbed it once.”

At the indifferent reply, Do Geonho covered the area around his eyes with his hand. From the mouth of a man who rarely ever cursed, the words ‘crazy bastard’ escaped on their own.