Love Born of Pity Chapter 38

“No matter how much I earn, I’m broke. I can’t even get a bank loan, and you’re in the ICU. The only way to get money was through loan sharks. So I borrowed a little, but fuck, after a few months of missed payments, the principal has surpassed the interest, right?”

A voice followed, a mixture of amusement and something else, difficult to distinguish.

“From then on, the loan sharks came every other day, and the hospital bills were ridiculously insufficient. Ah, in the end, I even tried to sell a kidney. The hospital said they would forcibly discharge you if I didn’t pay the bills. Saying you couldn’t be hospitalized any longer meant taking you off the ventilator, which meant you would die.”

“…….”

“At that time, it was me that Jiho Kwon clung to. What could I do? That young kid clung to me. Jiho Kwon, at your age now.”

The words describing Jiho Kwon at that time were indifferent and nonchalant. Heeyeon Kwon’s body trembled more violently than before. The act of covering her mouth with the back of her hand while sobbing was quite pitiful, but to Yeonjae Do, it was just disgusting. It was unlikely that she realized her mistake with just these words. If she had, she wouldn’t have said those hurtful things to Jiho Kwon in the first place.

Even if she was young, Yeonjae thought that one should distinguish between what can be said and what cannot be said. Especially since she is a human, not an animal. Perhaps being an animal would have been better for Jiho Kwon. At least they wouldn’t lie. They wouldn’t intentionally hurt someone they knew, like the only blood relative she had.

“Ms. Heeyeon Kwon, could you have done that to your brother who was in a coma for years?”

“Of, of course……!”

Yeonjae Do, perched on the edge of the bed, rummaged through his pockets and pulled out a business card holder. He took out a business card, dropped it in front of Heeyeon Kwon as if tossing it, and met her gaze again.

“I’m good at reading people, and you wouldn’t have. You would have resented why that bastard brother of yours was clinging to life, causing you trouble. You would have been lucky if you hadn’t resented him.”

“…….”

“You wouldn’t have been like Jiho Kwon. Then at least, you shouldn’t have said things like, ‘Why didn’t you just let Jiho Kwon, who saved you like this, die?’”

Heeyeon Kwon dropped her head. Tears welled up and fell with each blink. Yeonjae Do watched the pathetic and wretched sight, not feeling even a shred of sympathy, and then stood up.

“If Jiho Kwon happens to come here, contact the number written there. It will be the last time you see him, so take a good look at your brother’s face.”

“L-Last time? Why… why, sob, why the last time…?”

Yeonjae Do snapped irritably at Heeyeon Kwon, who couldn’t even catch her ragged breath as she asked.

“Why do you think?”

Yeonjae Do gave a contemptuous look as if even a sneer was too good for the foolish question. Turning around, he murmured, “Wouldn’t it have been better for someone like you to just die?” and left the hospital room.

♬⋆.˚

Yeonjae Do immersed himself in searching for Jiho Kwon’s whereabouts, having instructed Mr. Kim. Only a few hours had passed since Jiho Kwon’s disappearance, and Yeonjae was confident that he would be found easily, whether he had taken transportation or walked. However, perhaps because Jiho Kwon’s disappearance wasn’t intended as an escape, even a glimpse of his back couldn’t be found.

“How far have you searched? What about nearby motels? Buses or taxis?”

“Judging by the direction he went, I don’t think he used a bus or a taxi. Above all, there are no bus stops and taxis gather at the main gate of the hospital. Only vehicles using the parking lot exit in that direction.”

“So?”

“……It’s a private residence area, so it’s difficult to secure CCTV footage, but we are looking into it as much as possible, so please wait a little longer.”

Yeonjae Do kicked the passenger seat in frustration. The driver in the driver’s seat, who was substituting for Mr. Kim, flinched as if more startled, but fortunately didn’t scream.

“Mr. Kim, you have so many people deployed, yet you can’t find one Jiho Kwon?”

“I apologize.”

“Where would Jiho Kwon likely go?”

“As you know, he hasn’t visited anywhere alone so far, and there are no places he regularly visits. We’ve also sent people to the piano academy, but they said he hasn’t been there either.”

It was well past midnight. Even though it was summer, Jiho Kwon was sensitive to the cold, and the night was full of dangers. Where could he be wandering? Yeonjae Do gritted his teeth, vowing to break Jiho Kwon’s legs or do whatever it took to keep him in one place once he was found.

“Tell them to go into every building along the way and search. The rooftops. Tell them to check every corner thoroughly because he might climb up high and jump.”

“Yes.”

“Tell them to check the hospital again as well. From the basement to the rooftop, have them search every single place without missing a spot. Including the restrooms.”

“Yes.”

Yeonjae Do rubbed his cheek irritably. Where could he have gone? Where else should he tell them to search? He tried to think of places Jiho Kwon might go, but nothing came to mind. What kind of places did he usually like?

Then he suddenly remembered Jiho Kwon’s face smiling as he looked at the sea. However, Yeonjae quickly dismissed the thought, thinking Jiho Kwon wouldn’t go to the sea after hearing those words. Right now, Yeonjae only had a bad premonition that Jiho Kwon, in shock, might have climbed to a high place.

“Send people to the house. If Jiho Kwon comes, tell them not to say anything, just let him in and then contact me.”

“Yes.”

“I need to check the direction Jiho Kwon walked.”

As Yeonjae Do got out, Mr. Kim quickly opened the car door and followed. Yeonjae Do retraced the path Jiho Kwon would have walked while crying, sighing deeply. He couldn’t figure out what was at the end of this road.

“What’s at the end of this road if you keep going this way?”

“Ah, the Han River.”

“Fuck, why didn’t you say that earlier……!”

“Pardon?”

At Mr. Kim’s puzzled expression, Yeonjae Do crumpled the corners of his eyes in annoyance.

“Gather everyone and tell them to search all the Han River bridges. Check for anyone who jumped, and also……. Ha, Mr. Kim, please check if there have been any reports of suicide attempts.”

His mind was a chaotic mess. He had thought Jiho Kwon would climb a building; he hadn’t considered that he would jump into the Han River. The Han River was just a short walk from the hospital. What if he impulsively jumped while crossing a bridge? It was summer, so the water temperature wouldn’t be too low, but it was quite deep, and with so much time passed, the chances of survival were low.

“Hurry up, hurry!”

While Yeonjae Do was frantically searching for Jiho Kwon, Jiho Kwon himself, wandering aimlessly through the city, had arrived at the Han River. He had just walked straight ahead, and there was water before his eyes. Black water that had swallowed the darkness was surging.

Jiho Kwon, as if mesmerized, approached and sat down heavily on the ground. The cold rising from where his buttocks touched the ground made his body tremble. Even as he wiped the tears that wouldn’t stop flowing, all he could think about was dying.

The words he had heard from Heeyeon Kwon relentlessly echoed in his head. His face was drenched again by the words “dirty” and “why didn’t you just let him die” ringing in his ears. He was so immersed in that situation that he couldn’t think of anything else.

Should I just die? Would everything end if I die? Dying like this was irresponsible, but he had no strength left to endure.

Beyond shock, Jiho Kwon felt like something inside him had broken. Despite his fear and worry that someone might find out, Heeyeon Kwon had discovered the strange points herself and asked about them. Jiho Kwon hadn’t prepared for anything. How he had earned the money, how he was paying the hospital bills, how he was paying for the care.

All of those things had been possible because of Yeonjae Do’s help, and because what Heeyeon Kwon had said was true, that he had sold his body, he couldn’t even deny it.

Why does my life keep getting worse? No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t find an answer. He felt like it would be better to be reborn. Then he felt disgusted with himself for even thinking about being reborn.

Jiho Kwon hoped that if he died like this, he wouldn’t be reborn as anything at all. He raised his trembling hands and rubbed his eyes, then stood up.

His deliberation was brief. He was glad he couldn’t swim. He shouldn’t struggle to survive. He shouldn’t ask to be saved. Sobbing, he walked and walked until there were no signs of people around. Only when he reached a dark and secluded place, where not a single streetlight stood, did Jiho Kwon take off his shoes.

He needed to tell Heeyeon Kwon that he hadn’t made these choices because of her, but now there was no way to leave anything behind. He didn’t even know where he had dropped his phone; his pockets were empty.

It couldn’t be helped. Many things in the world happen that can’t be helped, and his death was just one of those things. Jiho Kwon simply walked forward.

“Sob, hiccup…….”

No matter how hard he tried to hold back, he couldn’t stop sobbing. Splash, splash, the water that soaked his feet swallowed him up a bit more with each step he took. Calves, thighs, waist. It felt like he would be submerged up to his head soon. Even though it was midsummer, the water was cold. His wet hands were heavy, so he couldn’t even wipe away the flowing tears. It was the moment he moved one foot further.

“Jiho Kwon!”

“…….”

“Jiho Kwon!”

The low voice, always heavy, called his name like a scream. He trembled, but couldn’t turn around. Splash, splash, the sound of water grew louder, and the sounds of footsteps and curses came closer. No, no. His waterlogged legs moved sluggishly in the water. He stumbled on the uneven bottom, and the moment his head plunged into the water, he was grabbed by the back of his neck.