Love Born of Pity Chapter 70

※This work contains depictions of potentially triggering elements such as self-harm and suicide. Please take note of this as you read.

Kwon Jiho woke up feeling a suffocating sensation, as if his entire body were bound. His eyes shot open abruptly, like a protagonist in a movie or drama. The first thing he saw was a chest. He tried to figure out what was happening, taking in the familiar body heat and scent, but it was difficult. He knew it was Do Yeonjae, but he didn’t know why he was being held in such a tight embrace.

His body, which had been relaxed, stiffened in an instant. As he became more aware, the dull, throbbing pain starting from his lower abdomen grew clearer. His entire legs felt numb, as if he had run a marathon without a proper warm-up, and the stinging, burning pain he felt between his lower back and buttocks was one he knew well.

He remembered being overcome by his heated body and lewd thoughts and hiding in the bathroom, but after that……. It came back in fragments. He couldn’t believe the sensual, raw image of himself. Kwon Jiho stealthily released the arm wrapped around Do Yeonjae’s waist and covered his mouth.

“……!”

He blinked rapidly, bewildered, then slowly pulled his body away. His mind was filled with the thought of escaping, and he began to move rashly.

Rustle. At the rustling sound of the fabric shifting, Do Yeonjae frowned. It was a sound Kwon Jiho hadn’t heard. Every time he tensed, the space between his buttocks felt wet. Holding his breath, he carefully untangled their legs with a serious expression. He was so focused on extracting himself that he didn’t even notice Do Yeonjae’s gaze was on him.

His slightly parted lips let out a small sigh of relief as he moved bit by bit. The parts where their skin had been touching were all separated. He didn’t remember washing, but his body, which had been held, felt as dry as if he hadn’t broken a sweat. A look of failure crossed his face as it crumpled with each passing moment.

A hand’s breadth, just that much more, and it seemed he could get out of bed without waking Do Yeonjae. Kwon Jiho’s expression, usually not so shrewd, was serious for once. It was the moment he lifted the blanket that had been meticulously tucked up to his shoulders and raised his head.

“A-heup……!”

“Why.”

He met the eyes of Do Yeonjae, who had been awake for who knows how long. He knew he shouldn’t be so startled by someone right in front of him, but it was an emotion he couldn’t suppress.

“Where are you going. Were you trying to sneak out?”

At the trembling eyes and lips that could only open and close without forming any proper excuse, Do Yeonjae’s expression twisted. Hah, fuck. Kwon Jiho, reading the low-sworn curse, flinched. When Do Yeonjae reached out, his thin body trembled, brr brr.

“You’re acting like you’ve been raped.”

Do Yeonjae pulled him closer by the distance he had moved away, held the cowering Kwon Jiho, and checked the emotion in his eyes. Ah, what the…… fuck. Kwon Jiho was frightened even by the sigh that came with a sneer.

“Mr. Kwon Jiho.”

“……”

“I don’t know what good it’ll do you to act like a fucking piece of shit, but fine. Go ahead.”

It felt like all the hot blood in his body was draining out through his fingertips. The satisfying feeling that had filled him to the brim instantly evaporated, and only rage filled its place. Do Yeonjae let go of Kwon Jiho, who couldn’t even meet his eyes and only trembled, and got out of bed.

“Fuck. I feel like…….”

Sweeping his hair back, Do Yeonjae went into the bathroom. Standing in front of the sink, he recalled the expression on Kwon Jiho’s face from a moment ago. The way his face had turned pale, as if he had seen a ghost, and the discrepancy with the image of him crying, disheveled beneath him all night, made him feel as if he had been doused in filth.

Kwon Jiho strained all his senses to listen for the sound of water. Holding his breath, he blinked without moving an inch. He was terrified that Do Yeonjae might come out and grab him, threatening him. He carefully moved the hand that had been clutching the blanket and pressed it gently over his heart, which was beating as if it would leap out. After enduring a little longer, he heard the sound of water.

Finally getting out of bed, Kwon Jiho took a hasty step, and his knees buckled. Although there was a plush rug, his weakened body took even the smallest impact hard. Pushing himself up on all fours like an animal, Kwon Jiho shot up without even a moment to react to the pain.

Ignoring his whining lower back and trembling legs, he entered the dressing room. He pulled on the robe that was always hanging in its place and quietly slipped out. He pretended not to notice the lukewarm fluid trickling down his thigh as he walked and perched on the edge of the bed.

Memories gradually surfaced, like puzzle pieces falling into place. The image of himself crying and clinging to Do Yeonjae, the gentle gaze he had given him, the lewd caresses and the lightning-bolt of pleasure, the parting lips in between, and the secret whispers pushed into his ear.

Kwon Jiho unknowingly scratched his left ear. His emotions were in turmoil. A surge of sorrow welled up. He had never been like this when he was a Beta. Did he always treat omegas so gently when he slept with them?

Pressing down on his warming eyes, he swallowed his feelings of disappointment. A moment later, he heard the bathroom door open. Kwon Jiho’s head shot up reflexively, and his vision was filled with Do Yeonjae, who was walking out, ruffling his wet hair.

His body trembled, even though he tried not to. At the sight of his round shoulders flinching, Do Yeonjae ground out a curse. His unpleasantly crumpled expression wouldn’t smooth out.

“You’re the one who clung to me, Mr. Kwon Jiho. Don’t you remember?”

At the voice that penetrated his stuffy ears, Kwon Jiho raised his gaze and finally met Do Yeonjae’s eyes.

“……Pardon?”

“Even someone like you is an omega, so your heat hit. You begged me all night to come inside you. Clenching your completely loosened hole so tight I couldn’t even pull my cock out.”

Feeling shame at the insulting words, Kwon Jiho’s face flushed red. His swollen eyes grew wet again.

“You begged me to get you pregnant, to let you have a baby. Hmm? Jiho-ya.”

“……”

“Have you changed your mind today?”

Do Yeonjae smiled sourly and continued, sweeping back his water-messed hair.

“I came so much it’d be strange if you didn’t get pregnant. If you’re worried, hurry up and go in there and get it out.”

Do Yeonjae barked coldly and left the bedroom without a shred of lingering attachment. The roughly opened door slammed shut. With a wounded expression, Kwon Jiho let the tears he had been holding back fall in large drops. His small face was quickly soaked.

Why…… am I living like this.

He thought it would be better if Do Yeonjae just abandoned him, and then he just wanted to die. Then, at least, wouldn’t he remain as his guilt?

Swallowing a sorrowful breath, Kwon Jiho stood up and slowly began to walk. One step, then another, toward the bathroom. Wiping his wet cheeks and rubbing his stinging eyes, Kwon Jiho wore a slightly relieved expression.

He wondered if his life was a bit short, but since he had been living on borrowed time, not wanting to die anyway, he wasn’t disappointed. It would have been nice if he could have left a will……. No, that would look like a lingering attachment, too. It’s better if there isn’t one. His trembling lips forced a curve.

The fact that he couldn’t convey his dimly remaining feelings to Do Yeonjae—could he be a little regretful about that? Or not. Since it’s a feeling he wouldn’t want anyway, would it be better if he didn’t know about that either? Every time he blinked, heavy, pooled tears streamed down.

“Heu, heueu…….”

Covering his mouth, Kwon Jiho entered the bathroom without hesitation. Even while feeling the anxiety that he might be discovered soon, he couldn’t not try it right away. He wrapped the glass cup on the sink with his robe. Hoping it wouldn’t make a loud noise, he struck it on the floor a few times, and its round shape quickly crumbled.

Making a weapon was not difficult at all. He picked up the largest shard and filled the bathtub with water. He stepped into the shower stall, adjusted the water temperature so it wasn’t too hot, and gripped the glass shard in his right hand. Not knowing how deep he needed to go, he scored the thin skin a few times before plunging it deep into his wrist.

“Heut……”

He endured the sharpness of the glass shard piercing his skin and the horrific pain. Bright red blood mixed with the gushing stream of water and flowed away. When he pulled out the deeply embedded shard, droplets of blood splattered everywhere. He felt sorry for Do Yeonjae, who would witness a scene that looked like a crime scene.

He placed the shard on the floor and covered his wrist with the wet robe. The white fabric was quickly stained bright red. Hoping the steam that was beginning to cloud the air would hide him, he closed his eyes.

The feeling of blood draining away was similar to the sensation of being pulled into a deep sleep. The burning, tingling pain also gradually faded. It was amazing that he could end his life with this much pain. Why had he clung so desperately to something this easy? He was left with regret.

They say fragments of memory flash before your eyes like a kaleidoscope before you die, but I guess that was all a lie. His limp head and hazy eyes stared at the drain where the bright red, bloody water was being sucked down.

I want to die quickly. Before Do Yeonjae, who would find it strange that he wasn’t coming out of the bedroom, discovered him.

By the time he had no strength left to even lift a finger, his eyes closed.

Beeeep—

The ringing in his ears wouldn’t stop.

“Kwon Jiho!”

In his blacking-out vision, the face of Do Yeonjae, who had rushed in with a demonic expression, caught his eye.

Ah, no. It seemed he had told him not to, as he pressed down on his arm with his full weight, but he couldn’t tell if it had been conveyed.