Correction Chapter 121

A loud noise rang out. To the point where he wished someone would please mute it. Did God hear that wish? For a moment, the sound quieted.

Instead, his head ached as if it would break, and his body felt heavy. He wished to be consumed by darkness just like this, but this wish, God did not grant. Just as he was sinking further and further into the depths, he was suddenly pulled out by a light.

“Ah…”

He blinked his eyes. A dazzling light was streaming in through the window. He wanted to draw the curtains, but a bird perched on a branch outside was looking at him with its demure eyes, so he couldn’t bring himself to do it and just kept staring.

Had birds’ eyes always been that pretty? Had they always been that cute… Looking at it brought a smile to his face. Feeling a sudden urge to touch it, he reached out his hand, and the bird fluttered away with a whir.

At that sight, he felt an unidentifiable sense of loss and sadness, and tears welled up. Why? Jungmin wondered if he had always been such a sentimental person and blinked his eyes a couple of times. Before he knew it, the light of the world had vanished, and only darkness remained. To the point where he felt cold.

‘It looks like a hospital, but why am I here…’

Jungmin thought and thought in his dazed state, but he couldn’t figure out why he was here again. Did a side effect appear? No, that can’t be, I’ve been really fine lately… After turning his stiffened brain over and over, he finally gave up and looked to his side. There, a man with his head bowed was holding his hands together as if in prayer. It was an unsightly sight, a big guy like him acting like that.

“Kim Joohwan…”

Just how long had he been lying here? His throat was so dry that his voice came out raspy. Yet, the man heard that voice as if by magic and raised his head. Seeing the man’s face, Jungmin was startled. It was because his face was beyond pale and filled with despair. Had he been crying? The corners of his eyes were reddish.

“What… why is your face like that…”

“Sunbae…”

He approached Jungmin and took his hand.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t… know. Why on earth am I in the hospital…?”

At Jungmin’s question, Kim Joohwan couldn’t answer and only gripped Jungmin’s hand tighter.

“I’m… sorry. I’m sorry.”

He was even offering an unfitting apology. For this guy to be this sorry, it must be something serious. Did something happen to my body? As he was wondering, his stomach twinged slightly. Wait a minute. Stomach? Stomach…

Jungmin’s hand, which was stroking his belly, froze. He remembered. Why he was here. Back then, with that tremendous stomach pain… blood…

“Kim… Joohwan…”

Jungmin’s voice trembled.

“The baby… what about the baby?”

Suddenly recalling the little bird that had been sitting by the window, he looked at the window. Outside the window, there were no trees, no birds, nothing. It was a dream.

“……”

Kim Joohwan couldn’t say anything and just squeezed the hand he was holding even tighter.

“I see…”

So that’s why the bird left. It probably left because it decided it couldn’t stay in this alpha’s body. Was it for the best?

“Sunbae, don’t feel guilty. To be honest, they said it would have been difficult. Your uterus isn’t complete like an omega’s, so… it would have been difficult for the baby to grow properly anyway… so.”

It was hard to listen to Kim Joohwan’s pained voice. He was desperately trying to say that it wasn’t Jungmin’s fault.

“No. It’s okay. Kim Joohwan. I’m okay. It’s for the best for the baby. That young life will surely find its way to a good omega again.”

Although he thought that, it wasn’t as if Jungmin wasn’t in pain. It was just that a very small miracle had come and gone for a moment… and that miracle was so small and precious. And it felt like all of this was his fault. Jungmin’s heart ached terribly. But there were things to resolve before he could just wallow in sadness. Because one way or another, this situation was definitely not something that had occurred naturally.

“…What about Shinwoo hyung?”

“Sunbae.”

“I’m genuinely curious. Why your sunbae did that.”

He couldn’t understand any of his actions. Not a single one.

“He’s in a detention center right now.”

“What?”

“Do you… think I would leave that person alone? No matter what you say, sunbae, I will not let that person be.”

A murderous intent could be felt in his voice.

“…Do you think I’d be stupid enough to forgive that person after going through this? No. I’m just… curious. Why he did it. It could have been his own child, so why… why would he do something so cruel and insane.”

“…It’s not… that person’s child.”

Jungmin looked at Kim Joohwan.

“That’s possible, but… it’s not like there’s no possibility.”

“No. It really cannot be that person’s child. It’s true that his azoospermia was cured, but I heard he even got involved with drugs. So they said a proper pregnancy from that sperm was impossible from the start.”

What was he hearing right now? Every word Kim Joohwan spat out, holding himself back with each one, was so unbelievable… It was a statement that was impossible in Jungmin’s common sense, so it didn’t sink in easily.

“That child… is definitely your and my child, sunbae. And Yoo Shinwoo knew that fact. That you couldn’t get pregnant with his sperm.”

The hair on his whole body stood on end. His hands trembled.

“…Let me meet him.”

“Sunbae.”

“I want to meet him and hear his story. I want to hear it directly from him. What he was thinking when he did it. Please. Let me meet him.”

“…First, after you’ve recovered. Let’s talk about it again then.”

Kim Joohwan stood up, saying he would call the doctor first. His always-confident shoulders, now slumped, caught his eye. Even his walk seemed precarious. That makes sense. Jungmin wouldn’t be the only one feeling this agony and pain.

It had only been a little over a week since he’d been told there was something the size of a bean in his belly, but in that short time, the two of them had shared countless conversations, painted a future for the three of them together, and held onto sweet dreams and hope. And through it all, it was Kim Joohwan who had kept saying it was okay even if it wasn’t his child.

The doctor checked Jungmin’s condition. Kim Joohwan stayed calmly by his side the whole time, but his expression was not good. He even seemed unstable, as if he would burst into tears if someone so much as touched him. After all the examinations were over and the two were left alone again, Jungmin looked at Kim Joohwan and held out his hand.

“Kim Joohwan.”

“Yes…”

“Come here.”

If he had said this in the past, he would have run over with a sly smile. He would have said something weird and pissed Jungmin off. But today, he didn’t approach. Only after Jungmin said to come here one more time did he slowly come closer. When he was close enough to be grabbed, Jungmin pulled his arm and hugged him. Then he patted his back.

“It’s not your fault.”

At those words, he froze and then his body trembled. Soon, he buried his head in the crook of Jungmin’s neck and held onto Jungmin tightly.

“I should have protected you. It’s because I’m a worthless bastard.”

“No. It’s not like that. So don’t think that way. The baby wouldn’t think so either.”

There was a clear perpetrator for one to think all of this was a simple accident. That’s probably why it hurt even more. Because he had never imagined Shinwoo would do such a thing. Kim Joohwan hugged him a little tighter. Was this guy always this emotional and fragile? Jungmin patted Kim Joohwan more earnestly.

After a long time of comforting and tending to each other’s aching hearts, they were lying side-by-side on the bed, looking into each other’s eyes.

“It’s cramped.”

“I know.”

Kim Joohwan swept Jungmin’s hair back.

“Hey, where do you… get off stroking the hair of your heaven-like sunbae.”

“Then I’ll have to go all the way to heaven.”

And with that, he pulled Jungmin into another hug, burying his nose in his neck and nuzzling him. Feeling a little embarrassed, Jungmin squirmed, and Kim Joohwan held onto him as if clinging for dear life.

“Maybe this is my punishment.”

He began to speak, as if giving a confession.

“To be honest, when I heard you were pregnant, sunbae, I was happy. But I was happier that I had an excuse to stay by your side… than the fact that you might be carrying my child. All those things I said for the child’s sake were all hypocrisy. In the end, they were for my own sake. That’s why I think I’m being punished.”

Jungmin, who had been listening to his story calmly, let out a sigh. He could feel Kim Joohwan flinch at even that breath and steal glances at him.

“Why did you do that?”

“I don’t have anything…”

“What?”

“I don’t have anything to hold you with, sunbae… The reason you were ever by my side was always because of Shin Youngmin or Yoo Shinwoo. If it weren’t for those two, you wouldn’t have even paid attention to me, sunbae. I really hate them both, but one way or another, the only threads connecting you and me were those two people. But now, a new link was formed. One that could last a lifetime… Because with the child as an excuse, even if you abandoned me, I would have a thread that would allow me to keep seeking you out. You don’t know how scared I am. I’m scared every day that this precarious thread will snap… You… sunbae, you don’t know how precious the moments I talk to you, the moments I speak with you on the phone are.”

Jungmin’s chest felt tight. No, could this be Kim Joohwan’s heart? His feelings… the sound of his heart was being transmitted to Jungmin.

“You…”

This is… what this guy is saying is.

“Sunbae. I love you. That’s why I’m sorry. For being such a worthless guy. I’m truly… sorry.”

That feeling of saying ‘I love you’ and immediately following it with ‘I’m sorry’… Jungmin knew it best of all. Because he himself had always said it to Yoo Shinwoo. That’s why he knew the desperation of this feeling. He knew its poignancy, and he knew its depth. And the fact that he didn’t dislike this feeling… was probably the result of your efforts, in the end.

Jungmin stroked Kim Joohwan’s hair.

“I really hated you, Kim Joohwan. But thinking about it now, I think it wasn’t you I hated, but myself. I came to hate you because I hated myself for gradually relying on you, who’s younger than me… Yes… I think that was it. That’s right. I think I just tried harder to hate you because I was so ashamed of myself.”

His mind was clearing up. Calmly…

“Thank you. I mean this sincerely.”

If this guy hadn’t been here, he would have crumbled countless times. The person who caught him and pulled him up each time was Kim Joohwan.

“Sunbae… don’t… don’t leave me.”

Kim Joohwan looks into Jungmin’s eyes with a face suddenly struck by fear. At that sight, Jungmin cupped Kim Joohwan’s cheeks and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“First, let’s get some sleep. Let’s sleep… and think about what’s next tomorrow. Or it’s fine to think about it in a week, or even in a year… For now… let’s just rest.”

He believed Kim Joohwan would know what those words meant. So, Jungmin closed his eyes with a peaceful heart. He was tired. And he was sad. Little bird. If you had been in here, you would have made a more beautiful sound. I’m so sorry.