Spark Chapter 2.2 - Spark

— Well, I’ll have to ask my manager.

Cha Hongjo’s calmly spoken words seemed to scatter like dust in the wind. Go Baekwoo clutched the phone line tightly as if it were Cha Hongjo himself.

“I’ll tell him, I’m going to see you.”

— Baekwoo.

Cha Hongjo’s breath passed over the line in a short puff.

“….Yes.”

— My pretty boy should wait prettily. If I want to see you, I’ll come, just like last time. And.

“…….”

— Don’t whine so much, people will misunderstand.

The veins on the back of his hand gripping the phone line became more prominent.

— We’re not the type to be misunderstood like that.

A hollow ache formed in his chest.

— Right?

“…….”

— Pretty boy.

Go Baekwoo, biting his lip until it turned white,

— I’m hanging up.

He stood frozen, unable to put down the disconnected phone.

Beep, beep, beep…

‘Don’t whine so much, people will misunderstand.’

The gentle voice, like a mechanical sound filling the silence, relentlessly filled the void in his thoughts. This way, Cha Hongjo, without using honorifics, tormented him. Without filling the empty space beside him, or the emptiness in his heart.

‘We’re not the type to be misunderstood like that.’

Cruel.

‘Right?’

Mean.

‘Yes…’

Cha Hongjo, why do you…

‘We’re nothing, are we?’

…make me lie?

🔥

“Wow, Kim Yongmin…”

His complexion is killer, that foxy bastard.

Tae Pyunghyun gritted his teeth as he looked over Kim Yongmin, the entertainment director, whom he hadn’t seen in a while. Just like how even country bumpkins gained a polished look after being in front of the camera, Director Kim also seemed like a sophisticated office worker accustomed to Seoul’s skyscrapers, perhaps thanks to having tasted the high life. Even so, he was still a gangster at heart, just like him.

“Looking good, huh?”

“Big brother’s looking good too. It’s been a while.”

‘Big brother’s looking good too,’ he says. Tae Pyunghyun inwardly scoffed at Kim Yongmin’s tone. He didn’t like how he had started speaking like a Seoul city boy.

“Good, my ass, I’m getting old.”

“You look exactly the same.”

“Cut the crap since there’s nothing to gain.”

“Haha…”

Kim Yongmin, hiding his disdain for Tae Pyunghyun behind his persistent smile, was the same.

How childish. That’s why even if he got promoted from loan shark, he was still just a babysitter. It was pathetic how he still thought he had lost the entertainment director position to him. Who was the one who jumped at the news that Chairman Go Daeil was looking for someone to take care of his offspring? He should have thought ahead. Even babysitting was too good for that idiot.

He was someone he only saw twice a year, at the executive meetings where Chairman Go Daeil and the directors gathered, but he was out of luck today. He had opened the company doors because Kim Yongmin said he had found ‘the goods.’

“So.”

Where were the ‘goods’ he was supposed to bring? It had been just Tae Pyunghyun the whole time. He didn’t know how talented the person he brought was, but honestly, he had no expectations. Thinking he’d just take a quick look and be done with it, Kim Yongmin asked without delay to save time.

“Where’s the kid?”

He must have deliberately waited outside until he was asked. Tae Pyunghyun grinned creepily and stood up, poking his head out the slightly ajar door and calling, “Hongjo!” The door opened wide, and a tall figure stepped into the director’s office.

“Here, this is our Hongjo, Cha Hongjo. Hongjo, this is Director Kim Yongmin. He’s the one who will be taking care of your work.”

Kim Yongmin opened his mouth after confirming the face that had only slightly bowed in greeting.

This is…

“….Uh, Cha, Hongjo?”

Tae Pyunghyun had gotten him good.

“Nice to meet you.”

Cha Hongjo slowly took the man’s hand and shook it, withdrawing his arm before the handshake could linger. Kim Yongmin opened and closed his hand, which still held the lingering chill of the boy’s touch. His fingertips tingled. It was from excitement. Tae Pyunghyun grinned, as if he knew how he felt.

Where did a guy who only crawled around in the dirt find such a gem…? A sense of defeat followed the excitement.

No, he shouldn’t be swayed by emotions. He composed himself and turned his gaze back to the boy. He had to raise his eyes considerably to see the face of the boy who was at least a head taller than him. His height alone was a pass. Being tall was a huge advantage, allowing him to start as a model even if he had no talent in acting or singing.

But whether the boy had acting talent or not, it seemed better to debut him as an actor as soon as he learned the basics. Because he had features that were too precious to be consumed as a model first. In a word, he had an actor’s face. His aura was different. Moreover, in situations like these, people were usually desperate to appeal to him, but the boy’s quiet demeanor suggested that his true nature was extraordinary. His age… at most twenty-three, twenty-four? He didn’t know where Tae Pyunghyun had picked him up, but he had done something right. He had to admit it this time.

Kim Yongmin, who had been scrutinizing Cha Hongjo, parted his lips.

“How old are you?”

“Hey, are you going to keep the kid standing?”

“Oh, right. Sit down.”

As Kim Yongmin instructed, Cha Hongjo sat next to Tae Pyunghyun. His gaze naturally fell on the ashtray on the table, and his hand instinctively reached for his pocket.

“Smoke.”

Kim Yongmin, who had been carefully observing him, was quick-witted. He quickly pushed the ashtray towards Cha Hongjo. Then he called someone over and ordered three cups of coffee. If Tae Pyunghyun had come alone, he wouldn’t even offer a glass of water, but things were different since he had brought such a gem. It was a situation that called for liquor. He was truly indebted this time.

It had been nine years since he had been plucked from ‘Geumyang Loans’ by Chairman Go Daeil and brought in as a director at ‘High Entertainment’. Director was just a title, he was the real power at ‘High Entertainment’. The CEO position had been vacant since the company’s establishment. It was all Chairman Go’s orders. He said he would hand it over to his offspring when they came of age. That’s when Kim Yongmin first learned that Chairman Go had a child. He followed Chairman Go’s wishes without complaint. Chairman Go was the benefactor who had pulled him out of the mire and given him a life on solid ground.

Anyway, Chairman Go Daeil had an excellent eye for talent. The illiterate man who didn’t know the first thing about entertainment unexpectedly had a hidden talent for discovering talent. In nine years, Kim Yongmin had raised twenty-six actors and singers, about six of whom were now firmly established as top stars. Consequently, ‘High Entertainment’ had been recording continuous stock price increases and had grown to become one of the top ten entertainment agencies.

However, he couldn’t simply be happy. The goal of ‘maintaining the status quo’ remained.

The problem with that goal was the fickle public, who easily grew tired of whoever was popular. Entertainment agencies had to quickly introduce younger, fresher faces. But any promising faces were already taken by other agencies, or for whatever reason, had no interest in the entertainment industry. They held regular auditions, but no one truly satisfactory ever appeared. Their acting skills would be decent, but their ‘size’ would be lacking, or their ‘size’ would be there, but their talent would be severely lacking. Even with the power of capital, there was a limit to how far those kids could go.

He truly longed for a new face. It wasn’t a problem unique to High Entertainment. Many agencies in Korea were lamenting the dearth of big star material. There were a few who broke through each year, defying the trend, but most of them faded away within a year or two, three at most. Most stars were like trends, sweeping in like a whirlwind and disappearing cleanly.

That’s why the ‘goods’ Kim Yongmin desired weren’t cheap toys, but high-quality materials that could be used for a long time. He had been deeply troubled about how to find such a person, and now, he dared to predict, a talent with the potential to become a high-quality material had appeared right before his eyes.

He didn’t think Tae Pyunghyun, who lacked even a shred of aesthetic sense, would have picked him knowingly. He must have simply lured him in because he was handsome. It was like digging up a ginseng root by mistake while looking for a common plant.

Was his name Cha Hongjo? Every time he looked at him, admiration welled up inside him. Not only his appearance, but the aura he exuded was special. It was captivating, to the point where he almost resented the cigarette smoke that crossed between them. A star should have that kind of unique air about them.

“How old did you say he was?”

“Nineteen.”

There was no doubt, Cha Hongjo could become a star.

“He looks older than his age.”

He looked older than nineteen, at least. Anyway, being young was even better. In this business, age was also a talent.

Kim Yongmin shifted his gaze to Tae Pyunghyun.

“Where did you find him?”

Tae Pyunghyun swaggered with his eyes.

“Wonseon-dong.”

“Wonseon-dong?”

“Yeah, in Wonseon-dong…”

With an expression of showing off his new toy, Tae Pyunghyun grabbed Cha Hongjo’s shoulder.

“Isn’t Baekwoo there?”

At the mention of ‘Baekwoo’, Cha Hongjo, who had lowered his gaze, looked alternately at the two middle-aged men.

“Yes.”

Kim Yongmin nodded. He already knew that Wonseon-dong was where the chairman had ‘entrusted’ his illegitimate son. But what did that have to do with Cha Hongjo?

Tae Pyunghyun continued,

“Baekwoo brought him to me, our Hongjo. They’re classmates.”

Ah. Kim Yongmin let out a short exclamation of admiration.

“….Big brother, you’re really lucky.”

“You’re telling me. Maybe my luck is finally turning around.”

Disgusting bastard. Kim Yongmin hid his disgust and changed the subject.

“How’s Baekwoo doing?”

“He’s doing fine, I guess.”

“Bring him over sometime.”

Kim Yongmin adjusted his posture, took out a cigarette, and brought up Go Baekwoo again.

“Baekwoo is a waste of talent too.”

“Oh, don’t even think about trying to poach that stubborn kid. You’d need permission from Mrs. Lee and the chairman…”

Tae Pyunghyun’s expression subtly darkened.

“Anyway, don’t bother, it’s just a headache.”

“What’s wrong with a little headache if you try? Baekwoo, he’s such a waste, no matter how I think about it.”

At Kim Yongmin’s words, Tae Pyunghyun waved his hand dismissively.

“Ah, whatever. You can try all you want, just bring the contract.”

“Right, the contract.”

It was what he had been hoping for. Kim Yongmin, putting the talk about Baekwoo aside, went to his desk, retrieved the contract from a drawer, and returned. His expression was calm, but his movements were hurried.

He had failed to discover any new stars recently and was barely holding on with his existing talents. He couldn’t miss out on a fresh face that was clearly money in the making. He was in a hurry. There was no reason to hesitate, so there was no hesitation in his hand as he presented the contract.

“This is the first time I’m signing a contract without an audition.”

Even though he was in a position to ask for favors, he didn’t forget to flaunt his power. People who were aware of their own worth tended to be arrogant. It was essential to nip that in the bud.

“What’s the need for an audition? You can tell just by looking.”

“This time,”

Scheming, Kim Yongmin moved the ashtray in front of Cha Hongjo aside and placed the contract and a pen in the empty space.

“I owe you one, big brother.”

“If you know that, then do it right, huh?”

“….Here, Hongjo. Read it carefully, and ask if you have any questions.”

“…….”

Cha Hongjo sat up from where he had been slouching in his chair and discarded his cigarette butt. He took the pen in his empty hand, flipped through the contract page by page, and read it to the end. Then he turned back to the first page and asked,

“How much is the signing bonus?”

The contract that had been in front of Cha Hongjo returned to Kim Yongmin’s hand.

“We don’t usually give signing bonuses to rookies…”

Kim Yongmin, taking a pen from his shirt pocket, moved the pen tip without hesitation over the blank space Cha Hongjo had pointed to.

“…….”

Cha Hongjo smirked slightly as he counted the zeros trailing like a snake’s tail.

“This should be enough, right?”

“…….”

“You’ll earn several times this once you debut, I guarantee it.”

He nodded towards Kim Yongmin.

“Great! Here. One copy for the company, and one for you.”

“No, wait, give it to me. Hongjo, since I’m your manager, I’ll keep the contract. That’s okay, right? Huh?”

Just in case he changed his mind.

“Do as you please.”

Cha Hongjo sneered at Kim Yongmin and Tae Pyunghyun as they snatched up the contract.

He found them amusing, completely intoxicated by euphoria. It was ridiculous how they readily offered a signing bonus based on his looks and carelessly guaranteed several times that amount. What were they so confident about? Shouldn’t they at least have him try a line or something? If they asked, he was willing to do it. Since they were giving him this money, he could do that much. He wouldn’t be embarrassed even if he showed off the skills he honed on the streets in front of these so-called professionals. He had been complimented countless times on his singing, so he was confident. As for acting, well, while watching movies and dramas he had no interest in with women, he often thought he could do better. Whether it was arrogance or not, he’d find out if he tried, and if he couldn’t do it, he could learn.

Cha Hongjo believed he had nothing to lose. If he didn’t have it, he couldn’t lose it. Empty-handed, everything was easy. Whether he earned several times the signing bonus or failed miserably, whatever the future held, it wasn’t his responsibility. They were the ones who wanted him first, so they would have to bear the consequences. Cha Hongjo decided to travel light, both in body and mind. Just like he always did.

🔥

There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Cha Hongjo, who had received an exceptionally large signing bonus for a rookie with nothing but his looks to offer, had to pay the price. First, he paid half with his face. He decided to repay the other half by obediently following the company’s rules and schedule until his debut.

Thus, Cha Hongjo did as the company told him until his debut. He started studying for the GED, and since it was decided that he would debut as an actor, he naturally took acting lessons. From morning till afternoon, he had classes with an acting coach, and from afternoon till late evening, he received tutoring for the required GED subjects.

The acting coach looked familiar from their first meeting. It turned out she was a woman who had become popular after appearing in a drama. She had risen in popularity and then fallen back down, now teaching aspiring actors, but in any case, she wasn’t bad as a teacher. Her skills in bed were excellent.

The GED tutor was a woman attending a prestigious university, kind at the desk and bold in bed. Or rather, they didn’t even have time to get to the bed, so they did it on the floor.

His days were packed with acting practice, studying, and eating. On weekends, when he didn’t have classes, he accompanied Tae Pyunghyun to meet various directors and CEOs. Even with just that, a week flew by quickly. He had no time to meet other women besides his acting coach and tutor. Repetitive daily life, the same women, similar stimulation. He was bored. Utterly bored.

“Should I quit…”

“Huh? What did you say?”

The acting coach, who had been putting away her things, turned around and asked. Cha Hongjo shifted his gaze, his lips paler than they had been in the morning, and inhaled his cigarette.

“What did you say, Hongjo?”

Her lips came closer.

That was the moment. He remembered lips that were moderately red, but sometimes became as red as brightly applied lipstick… beautifully shaped lips.

‘…I miss you.’

He also remembered a voice that chose only cutely honest words. Cha Hongjo sat up. His gaze, brushing past the acting coach, landed on the desk clock. 4 pm. His tutor would arrive in an hour. Tae Pyunghyun, busy with his original work, wouldn’t return until eight or nine in the evening unless it was his day off.

He quickly got dressed.

“Are you leaving too?”

“Yeah.”

The phone was in Tae Pyunghyun’s room, and Tae Pyunghyun never forgot to lock his door when he went out. To call his pretty boy, he had to either wait for Tae Pyunghyun to return or use a payphone. Waiting wasn’t his style, so he was about to leave. But then…

“….Ah.”

Cha Hongjo stopped as he was putting on his coat.

“…….”

He didn’t know his pretty boy’s number.

As his thoughts reached that point…

‘I’ll tell him, I’m going to see you.’

‘Baekwoo.’

‘…Yes.’

‘My pretty boy should wait prettily. If I want to see you, I’ll come, just like last time. And.’

Three months had passed since that day, and he suddenly realized that Go Baekwoo hadn’t contacted him once during that time. Was he really waiting prettily like he told him to, or…

‘Don’t whine so much, people will misunderstand. We’re not the type to be misunderstood like that.’

…or maybe he had contacted him, but Tae Pyunghyun hadn’t told him. The latter was more likely. His pretty boy liked him. Enough to beg him not to go, to tell him he missed him.

That’s why he had been so harsh the last time they spoke on the phone. He didn’t regret it. It was his habit to be mean to those who clung to him. So he could leave. That’s how it had always been.

“…….”

But Go Baekwoo was an exception.

Disjointed thoughts filled his mind, and strangely, irritation surged within him.

“Three months, fuck…”

🔥

Tae Pyunghyun was acting deliberately difficult.

On the first collection day after taking Cha Hongjo, Go Baekwoo went down to the store early in the morning and waited, but Tae Pyunghyun didn’t come; only his lackey, Park Taegu, showed up. Park Taegu just took the collection envelope and, in response to Go Baekwoo’s questions, said, “I don’t know anything,” and disappeared as if running away. The second collection day was the same. The third collection day was still a few days away.

Clutching at straws, Go Baekwoo called every day. Tae Pyunghyun would usually hang up as soon as he heard his voice. It seemed like he was living with Cha Hongjo, but judging by the fact that Tae Pyunghyun always answered the phone, it seemed like the phone was kept out of Cha Hongjo’s reach.

He waited all day, slumped in the office. Because if Tae Pyunghyun was going to work, he always had to clock in at the office.

That’s how he finally managed to meet Tae Pyunghyun. But there were no gains. To his request to see Cha Hongjo, Tae Pyunghyun threatened, ‘Hongjo’s busy now, he can’t play with you.’ Who said he wanted to play with Cha Hongjo? He was so lovesick that he felt like he was dying, so he just wanted to see his face once. He just wanted to ask him once how he was doing. He just wanted to hear a simple answer, even if it was just “I’m fine.” That was all he wanted.

Could it be because he had coveted the manager position?

When Go Baekwoo encountered Tae Pyunghyun for the twelfth time at the office, he clearly stated that he no longer wanted to be a manager. He begged to just be allowed to see Cha Hongjo. The answer he received was a spit at his feet and,

“Fuck, that’s why you can’t see Hongjo!”

“……What does that even mean?”

“What……. Haa, this stubborn bastard……”

“Why, why can’t I see Cha Hongjo?”

“…….”

“Why? Tell me!”

“……Hongjo’s sick and tired of you!”

“……Is he? Cha Hongjo is?”

“So stop looking for him, alright?!”

It was a dagger.

Because he didn’t know why Tae Pyunghyun was so desperately hiding Cha Hongjo, going so far as to humiliate him, Go Baekwoo’s already frustrated heart crumbled.

“Oh man, that heartless bastard……”

Tae Pyunghyun, getting into his car after leaving the office, glanced at Go Baekwoo’s small reflection in the rearview mirror and sighed deeply. He didn’t enjoy driving a wedge between the two friends. While Baekwoo was obsessed with Cha Hongjo to a strange degree, considering they were close enough for Baekwoo to offer to be his manager, it was somewhat understandable.

His eyes and chest ached. He had chewed out the stubborn Go Baekwoo, but in reality, the heartless bastard wasn’t Go Baekwoo, but himself. He should have apologized to the young man instead of spitting at him. After all, no, even without thinking too hard about it, the current situation was his fault, a result of his loose tongue.

“Fucking hell…… how was I supposed to know……”

Who knew Chairman Go would be so enraged by the news, ‘Chairman, you know, the kid we brought in to be an entertainer, Baekwoo says he wants to be his manager.’ If he had known, he would have handled it himself without even mentioning the word ‘manager’.

Chairman Go lamented that his son had grown up content to chase after a mere entertainer. Even Tae Pyunghyun, who was unmarried and without children, could understand that sentiment. The fact that Chairman Go was content to leave his precious only son in his wife’s care and receive only occasional updates was a miracle considering his temperament. So it was understandable that he would be furious to hear that his heir suddenly aspired to be an entertainer’s lackey.

Tae Pyunghyun himself had been placed by Chairman Go’s side to prevent such a catastrophe.

But Tae Pyunghyun had failed. Now, with a repentant heart, he accepted Chairman Go’s berating. Honestly, he would have silently accepted even a death sentence. The scolding was far from pleasant. It had been two months since that day, and the wounds still stung. He couldn’t even go to the hospital because the injured area, his buttocks, was too embarrassing to show.

There were other troublesome matters. Or rather, people he should apologize to.

Tae Pyunghyun’s role was limited to visiting the teahouse once a month under the guise of collecting payments to check on the mother and son, and to ensure Go Baekwoo didn’t stray too far or become a fool. He didn’t know the full story between Chairman Go and Mrs. Lee. He only vaguely knew that Chairman Go, who could have permanently separated the mother and son if he wished, was exercising restraint, and that Mrs. Lee resented him for it. He only clearly knew that Go Baekwoo lived believing his father had passed away.

In any case, Chairman Go was Chairman Go, Go Baekwoo was Go Baekwoo, but Mrs. Lee was the most pitiful.

The day she heard the news that her son had volunteered to be an entertainer’s manager, Chairman Go immediately sent for her. It was a shocking act and a drastic decision, considering the two avoided direct contact. The “promised time” for Chairman Go to take his son was Go Baekwoo’s twenty-fifth birthday. Wasn’t it too early? Tae Pyunghyun, though he knew it was presumptuous, tried to dissuade Chairman Go, but he only got beaten more. It was a miracle he survived.

That evening, Mrs. Lee, emerging from Chairman Go’s room with bloodshot eyes, slapped Tae Pyunghyun as soon as she saw him. With each day precious as she approached their predetermined separation, she now had to let go of her son even earlier than planned. Tae Pyunghyun, the catalyst of the incident, had nothing to say, so he silently took the slap.

The upcoming third payment day. Chairman Go decided to personally pick up Go Baekwoo.

The ‘payment collection’ was a kind of show where Chairman Go sent money to Mrs. Lee, and Tae Pyunghyun retrieved it.

He had been promised a hefty reward on the day the show, with Go Baekwoo as its sole audience, came to an end. He’d been waiting for that day, but now the reward and everything else had gone up in smoke.

“……All that fucking work for nothing……”

He should be grateful he still had his head, but the thought of not being compensated for his troubles made him feel the most pathetic and wronged. How selfish could a person be?

“……Fuck, well, a gangster’s supposed to be selfish. I’m not a charity worker. I got beaten and begged, that should be enough.”

Tae Pyunghyun trampled on his rising guilt and justified his selfishness.

“I don’t know, I don’t care……”

While few things in life are simple, rationalization was relatively easy.

The reason humans are inherently selfish is because they are solely responsible for their own lives. Therefore, he shouldn’t interfere in other people’s family matters for the sake of his own life. He shouldn’t have. No matter how lucrative the reward.

What’s the use of regretting it now? Tae Pyunghyun decided to focus on one thing only. His own life. Success and wealth. His stepping stone to the future, Cha Hongjo.

“Our lucky charm……”

He had to hold onto at least a straw when he reached the end of the line. That’s why, despite presumptuously trying to stop Chairman Go from summoning Mrs. Lee, he remained silent about Cha Hongjo until the very end.

Recently, every weekend, he had been introducing Cha Hongjo to people with connections in the broadcasting industry. Cha Hongjo, with his exceptional looks and aura, and unlike other trainees, his relaxed demeanor, garnered interest and affection from the elders. The wives, in particular, showed great interest. At this rate, even without Chairman Go’s backing, a smooth path to success was guaranteed.

Therefore, until his debut, he needed to be careful not to catch Chairman Go’s eye, but also not to fall out of his favor. That’s why Go Baekwoo and Cha Hongjo should no longer be involved with each other. Even if Baekwoo resented him now, he would surely understand later, once he heard the full story, as this was a critical juncture for his friend’s debut.

‘……Hongjo’s sick and tired of you!’

Even if it meant adding a lie……

“Hongjo.”

Tae Pyunghyun took off his shoes, rubbing his exhausted face. He hadn’t had a single drop of alcohol, but he felt as if he were drunk with fatigue. He stumbled slightly, groping the wall, and flicked on the living room light.

“Oh?”

The brightly lit living room. Cha Hongjo, who usually didn’t even peek out of his room until someone opened his door, was unusually out in the open.

“What are you doing in the dark?”

Cha Hongjo approached him silently.

“Were you waiting for big brother?”

“…….”

Cha Hongjo only opened his mouth when he stood at Tae Pyunghyun’s feet.

“I have a question.”

“What question could you have that you wouldn’t even turn on the light……”

“Go Baekwoo.”

The mere mention of his name now made him cringe. Tae Pyunghyun suddenly frowned.

“Him, what?”

“Hasn’t he looked for me?”

“Why are you suddenly curious about that?”

……Well, why was he?

Cha Hongjo, tilting his head, took out a cigarette, placed it between his lips, and lit it. After taking a drag, he slowly retraced his thoughts.

Earlier, he had absentmindedly glanced at his acting coach’s lips, and another pair of lips overlapped them. Around them, features began to form one by one, until a flawlessly beautiful face surfaced. The thought of going to see him immediately came to mind. He tried to call him first. But he didn’t know his number. Then he realized he hadn’t heard from Go Baekwoo in three months……

“Ah, because.”

He felt, really.

“I have something to receive.”

Fucking awful.

“What is it? Big brother will get it for you.”

“It’s something that can’t be received by someone else.”

“What is it? Just tell me.”

“It’s a secret……”

What should he say?

Cha Hongjo trailed off and just chain-smoked.

Three months was enough time to forget anyone. Yet, Go Baekwoo lingered at the edge of his memory and eventually resurfaced, ruining his mood. Why didn’t Go Baekwoo leave like everyone else, why couldn’t he make him leave first? The answer he came up with was simple.

“Give me some time.”

He was so beautiful……

“Just one day.”

He hadn’t fully tasted him yet.

🔥

‘……Hongjo’s sick and tired of you!’

His feelings, which he hadn’t even properly conveyed yet, were rejected. The first rejection he experienced brought a tsunami of confusion and a devastating pain.

Now…… what should he do?

Ever since he met Cha Hongjo, his thoughts had flowed solely towards Cha Hongjo, and his heart had beat with Cha Hongjo as its fuel. It was more daunting than being lost. He felt powerless and melancholic, as if he had a terminal illness. If he had known that unrequited love was like a disease, he would have trampled it down the moment he recognized it, but it was too late.

His chest constantly ached, and his mind was reeling. He couldn’t sleep because the dizziness worsened when he closed his eyes. Eventually, Go Baekwoo sat up. A glance at the bedside clock showed the hour hand pointing at the number 3. The agonizing dawn passed slowly.

He left the house, suppressing any sounds so as not to wake his sleeping mother. Only when he felt the chilly outside air did he realize he was in his pajamas without a coat. He didn’t have the energy to go back inside and get dressed. He continued down the stairs, putting his hands in his pockets. His fingers brushed against a pack of cigarettes. This was enough.

The cold air seemed to make him feel better. His body temperature, which had been constantly boiling as if in anger or with a fever, cooled down a little. Go Baekwoo took a deep breath and exhaled, placing a cigarette between his fingers. He lit another fire without giving his body a chance to cool down.

He leaned on the railing and looked down at the alley. The dark street. Only the places touched by the streetlights were tinged with orange. His eyes followed the light. Last summer night, the light slicing through the shadows had been teeming with insects, but now it remained desolate and gleaming alone.

A night warmed by the heat and alcohol. He had once felt miserable, likening himself to one of the countless insects drawn to the light. He had been better off then. Now it was cold, the fire was out, and the insects couldn’t fly.

Go Baekwoo, lowering his head after staring at the light beam, let out a hollow laugh. He couldn’t even be an insect. Insects don’t fly towards extinguished flames.

‘We aren’t the kind of people to be misunderstood like that.’

But he still longed for Cha Hongjo even after he was gone.

“Only with you, fuck……”

He buried the ashes Cha Hongjo had left behind and regretted it again.

‘I like you, Cha Hongjo.’

Back then, he should have confessed to Cha Hongjo, not Park Jungjin.

Streetlights always turn on when day and night switch roles.

“I…… like you……”

But he didn’t know when Cha Hongjo would come again……

“Who do you like so much?”

He didn’t know.

The light flickered on. As if he had always been there, Cha Hongjo appeared before Go Baekwoo once again.

“Muttering cutely like that.”

Go Baekwoo, snapping his head up, looked as if he had seen a ghost. Cha Hongjo smiled faintly and approached him.

“……How.”

Go Baekwoo dropped the cigarette he held between his fingers and pressed his hand to his forehead. He rubbed his eyes. The face in his vision, which had gone blurry and then clear again, was indeed Cha Hongjo.

“How, how did you get here? You……”

You said you were sick and tired of me, why did you come?

He couldn’t bring himself to utter the undeniable truth. His tongue was tied. Go Baekwoo rubbed his dry face again. He had forgotten to even breathe. The breath that burst forth the moment he realized it quickly grew ragged.

He had missed Cha Hongjo so much that he felt suffocated. And then he realized.

“If you’re going to leave again, don’t come……”

He didn’t want to feel suffocated again. He couldn’t bear to be left alone in the dark, waiting endlessly again. So, like being burned by fire, he instinctively pushed Cha Hongjo away.

“That’s how you greet me after three months?”

Cha Hongjo, who had taken a step closer only to be pushed back by Go Baekwoo’s hand, furrowed his brows. The feeling that had been floating like a balloon, light as air, plummeted to the ground the moment he turned away from the beautiful face that shone white even in the dark night.

“Pretty boy.”

Instead of wagging his tail and welcoming him, he pushed him away?

Cha Hongjo gritted his teeth and stood before Go Baekwoo again. Go Baekwoo took a step back. Cha Hongjo stepped forward the same distance. Go Baekwoo took two more steps back. So he took two more steps. And then.

“Why are you like this, making Hyung feel bad?”

This time, he grabbed Go Baekwoo by the collar to stop him from retreating. Go Baekwoo flinched, his face creased. His lowered eyelashes trembled faintly. The skin around his eyes gradually reddened. He looked incredibly pathetic.

“I won’t eat you.”

Actually, he had come to devour him. But he lied to soothe the frightened pretty boy. However, the lie was powerless, and Go Baekwoo’s complexion grew even paler.

“……Even if you eat me.”

A muffled voice escaped, as if he were holding something back. His trembling lips bit down on his neat front teeth. The red flesh turned deathly pale. Cha Hongjo, glancing at Go Baekwoo’s lips, unconsciously released his grip on his collar and pulled out his pale lower lip with his thumb.

“……Do something, instead of making me feel like shit……”

Go Baekwoo, opening his lips, finally muttered.

“……Is your, entertainer training going well?”

“What?”

Cha Hongjo asked back, unable to grasp the meaning of the out-of-the-blue question.

“You told me to wait, and you!”

Go Baekwoo suddenly raised his voice and grabbed Cha Hongjo. Cha Hongjo winced at the fierce grip that felt like it would crush his shoulder.

“Hey, it hurts……”

“While I was busting my ass looking for you, you were out there flirting around.”

The hand that had gripped his shoulder climbed up and tugged at Cha Hongjo’s collar. His soft eyes were fixed on one spot. Cha Hongjo followed his gaze down to his own neck. A part of his stretched t-shirt collar was stained red. There was no doubt. Lipstick.

He hadn’t met with his tutoring teacher today, so it must have been his acting teacher’s. Cha Hongjo twitched the front of his arched eyebrows. Fucking hell, of all places, it had to be somewhere visible.

“Cha Hongjo.”

At the sound of his name, Cha Hongjo raised his gaze.

“Why did you come?”

Go Baekwoo, facing him, still had a face that looked like he was about to burst into tears.

“Why are you doing this to me…… why?”

The grip on his shoulder gradually loosened.

“I……”

Go Baekwoo trembled and lowered his head.

“I like you……”

Tears welled up in his eyes and streamed down his cheeks. Large teardrops plummeted to the ground. Go Baekwoo lowered his head further. He regretted not confessing his feelings properly, but he hadn’t planned on confessing like this at all. He didn’t know why he did it. He was angry. Ashamed, pathetic, and miserable.

Cha Hongjo brushed off the spot where the lipstick had smeared and, looking at the thick hair on the crown of his head, put a cigarette in his mouth. He then angrily chewed and crushed the filter.

Had he subconsciously thought things would be different because the other person was a man? He had never imagined the pretty boy would confess so directly.

People confess when they reach their limit. They demand to become someone’s. Usually, that happens after they’ve slept together a few times. Therefore, this confession was incredibly perplexing. Strictly speaking, they hadn’t even properly done it, had they? That’s why he had come looking for him today, to finally have a taste.

“Ha……”

This way, he couldn’t get anything, whether it was weed or the pretty boy. All he could do now was choose. Accept the confession, or reject it.

Until now, he had always rejected them. A single sentence, ‘Let’s not see each other anymore,’ was enough. With that short rejection, he could cut anyone off. The time spent together, the insignificant memories, the flimsy relationships, and the trivial feelings.

“Hey, pretty boy.”

Before time gave birth to more time, before insignificant memories gained meaning, before flimsy relationships solidified, before trivial feelings became complex.

“Baekwoo.”

He would cut him off.

“Go Baekwoo.”

Cha Hongjo grabbed Go Baekwoo’s chin and forced him to raise his head.

“…….”

Sobbing silently was a talent if anything.

“……Don’t cry, fuck.”

Cha Hongjo roughly rubbed Go Baekwoo’s tear-soaked cheeks with the side of his hand. His swollen red eyes squeezed shut and then opened immediately, and Go Baekwoo avoided Cha Hongjo’s gaze.

The moist eyes blatantly avoiding him irritated him. Cha Hongjo roughly gripped Go Baekwoo’s chin.

“Look at me.”

He poised the words he had prepared for rejection on the tip of his tongue……

Cha Hongjo, confirming that Go Baekwoo’s gaze was fixed on him, released his chin and took a step back. Then he quickly threw off his jacket and the t-shirt stained with lipstick. His skin, suddenly exposed to the cold, tightened. His waist felt chilly. But the thought of putting his clothes back on didn’t occur to him.

“Enough, now.”

Let’s stop seeing each other.

The words of rejection, honed countless times, still lingered in his throat.

“I was wrong.”

Completely different words tumbled out of his mouth.

“The clothes, it wasn’t about that……”

Don’t like me.

“I came to fuck you, right?”

Even as he thought he should cut Go Baekwoo off like this.

“……I’m cold. Let’s put on some clothes……”

“Instead, pretty boy,”

Cha Hongjo brushed aside Go Baekwoo’s arm, which had reached for the clothes, and pressed his body against him.

“Leave it on your skin, not your clothes.”

“…….”

“I’ll put on some lipstick, the colorless kind.”

A flame ignited in their joined chests.

🔥

He descended the stairs, further and further down, navigating countless near stumbles. Cha Hongjo paused midway, intending to open his front door.

“Not here.”

The lips attached to his cheek whispered. He barely managed to support his tilting body, precariously reaching the ground thanks to Go Baekwoo’s aggressive kisses. Then, led by a tightly grasped hand, he entered the teahouse.

The teahouse, lights off in the pre-dawn hours. No owner, no customers. The sounds of their breathing filled the space to the ceiling. Only the sliding footsteps, the scraping sounds of the table and sofa, escaped the intimacy.

After biting Cha Hongjo’s lips, Go Baekwoo intertwined their arms and tore off his t-shirt in one swift motion. Cha Hongjo, already shirtless, pulled down his pants, hooked his fingers into Go Baekwoo’s waistband, pulled him closer, and perched on the edge of the sofa.

“Sit.”

Thud. Tossing the t-shirt he held onto the floor, Go Baekwoo knelt between Cha Hongjo’s legs as instructed. Cha Hongjo’s hand rested on his shoulder. He tilted his head, kissing the back of that hand, his eyes fixed on Cha Hongjo. Cha Hongjo, brushing aside the bangs scattered by the dawn breeze, spoke.

“You’ve never sucked a dick before, have you?”

Go Baekwoo, unbuttoning his pants with one hand, slid the other up Cha Hongjo’s thigh, leaning forward, and asked in return,

“Have you ever had someone suck yours?”

“Ha…… No, not a man.”

Cha Hongjo responded, leaning back languidly, his breath as heavy as a sigh. The unheated teahouse was cool, but the palm stroking his thighs and the breath that moistened his skin were hot.

“I guess I can’t do it since it’s my first time.”

A sneer followed Cha Hongjo’s murmur. Just then, the palm that had traveled up his thigh enveloped his hardened penis.

The corners of his gently upturned lips crinkled slightly, and his lips parted a little. Go Baekwoo, catching that last sight, lowered his gaze and tilted his head. The swollen glans was right in front of his nose.

“Forgive me if I’m bad at it.”

“I will, our pretty boy’s face is fucking amazing…… Ah.”

The lips that hadn’t been forgotten, even after three months of separation, enveloped his. Cha Hongjo swallowed his words as if something had filled his own mouth. Even though it was Go Baekwoo, not him, who was having the novel experience, a shiver ran down his spine. Because.

“……This is driving me crazy……”

Go Baekwoo, glancing up at him as if checking his reaction after taking the tip into his mouth, was beautiful and alluring.

Cha Hongjo tapped Go Baekwoo’s cheek with his index finger, signaling him to continue. Go Baekwoo, lowering his eyes again, tightened his lips and pushed the tip deeper inside. He could feel the wet tongue fluttering against his skin. Along with it, Go Baekwoo’s long eyelashes fluttered.

“Take it slow.”

Cha Hongjo, instructing him in a voice that seemed to melt, rummaged through his pants pocket carelessly slung over the armrest and pulled out a cigarette. He lit the cigarette and stretched out further. As if telling him not to move, Go Baekwoo gripped his thighs tightly. A single tear welled up in the corners of his reddened eyes.

“I said take it slow……”

To swallow it whole, he’d have to use his throat, but that was nearly impossible for a first-timer.

There weren’t many people who, after throwing themselves at someone, also used their mouths in bed. So, just the fact that Go Baekwoo had taken him into his mouth without complaint was praiseworthy. His technique was perfect, no teeth involved despite being his first time, and his talent was remarkable, so he didn’t need to try so hard. Cha Hongjo, feeling proud, stroked the top of the pretty boy’s head.

Go Baekwoo worked his tongue, stroking the part that wouldn’t fit inside with his fingers. He tried to recall what his partner had done back then, drawing on his experience of receiving. However, he hadn’t even dreamed of being on the giving end, so there was nothing left in his memory. Therefore, he followed his instincts, but it wasn’t easy. Just holding his breath was a struggle.

Still…… Cha Hongjo would have it harder later, so he had to endure this much.

His chest swelled from lack of air, and the back of his neck felt heavy and hot. Suppressing the urge to spit out what was in his mouth, Go Baekwoo pursed his lips tighter and pressed his tongue against the shaft. Saliva pooled under his tongue and leaked from the corners of his mouth. Unfazed, he started to move his head slightly. He squeezed his eyes shut, as if tears were about to spill out. Cha Hongjo smelled of soap. The scent mingled with the smell of cigarettes.

He gripped the hair he hadn’t cut since he’d started growing it out like Cha Hongjo’s. The hair stood on end from where it was tangled in Cha Hongjo’s fingers. Goosebumps ran across his entire body. He could vividly feel the moisture clinging to his eyelashes trailing down his cheeks.

Around the time he got used to not breathing freely, a hazy feeling washed over Go Baekwoo, and he lifted his eyelids, changing the angle of his head. The moment he rubbed the glans against the inside of his cheek and wrapped his tongue around the shaft, his gaze locked with Cha Hongjo’s, who was looking down at him with drunken eyes. Then, the grip tightening on the back of his head pushed his head down.

“Who told you to look innocent while sucking dick?”

Cha Hongjo gripped his soft hair even tighter and bit down on the cigarette filter between his teeth. Only then did he realize the cigarette had long since burned out. Tilting his head, he casually spat it out and looked down at Go Baekwoo again, thrusting his hips.

“…….”

Even though the corners of his mouth stung where they had been torn, and his throat ached where it was pressed against the hard tip, Go Baekwoo endured it. He wanted Cha Hongjo to treat him even more roughly. That way, he would feel less guilty later.

Moreover, aside from the pain, the longer he went on, the more relaxed Cha Hongjo’s features became, intensifying his arousal. His lower body, already engorged with blood, throbbed on its own. He lowered one of the hands gripping Cha Hongjo’s thighs and wrapped it around his own penis, stroking it. A sound similar to the wet smacking produced by the lips around the shaft was repeated below.

“Haa…… Uh.”

Cha Hongjo, letting out a long breath, bit his lower lip and furrowed his brow. At that moment, Go Baekwoo stopped stroking and moving his head, relaxing his lips.

Cha Hongjo shrugged, his thigh muscles twitching, and yanked back the hair he was holding. Semen, which had been spraying onto Go Baekwoo’s tongue, now coated his lower lip and splattered his cheeks and the corners of his eyes.

Go Baekwoo, suddenly able to breathe freely, gasped and rubbed his eyes with the side of his hand. Once the semen clinging to his lashes was wiped away, he could open his eyes properly. Looking up at Cha Hongjo, he…

“…….”

Licked it.

Cha Hongjo’s eyes, half-closed as he lay sprawled on the sofa, widened. As if to show him even more, Go Baekwoo licked and swallowed all the semen dripping down his face. Cha Hongjo stared blankly at what Go Baekwoo was doing, then grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“You can’t eat it all.”

“……Why.”

“I said I’d put it on your lips.”

“Ah.”

‘Instead, pretty boy, leave it on your skin, not your clothes. I’ll put on some lipstick, the colorless kind.’ 

That’s what he had meant. He should’ve been paying attention.

“Ah, is.”

Cha Hongjo chuckled weakly and rubbed Go Baekwoo’s lips with his thumb.

“Just do it with your bare mouth.”

He parted Go Baekwoo’s lips with the fingers that had just been licked, pressing down on his lower teeth. Go Baekwoo’s jaw opened easily. Cha Hongjo slid his index and middle fingers into the mouth that had just sucked him off. Immediately, a tongue wrapped around his fingertips. He pressed down on the slippery tongue, then flipped his wrist and stroked the roof of Go Baekwoo’s mouth as if to tickle it. As if possessed, Go Baekwoo grabbed his wrist and started licking his fingers as if he would devour them.

Smack. Go Baekwoo, finally releasing his fingers with a wet pop, covered Cha Hongjo’s wrist bone with his lips and raised his knees. He trailed his lips along the slender wrist and propped one knee on the sofa. He naturally straddled Cha Hongjo, who was lying down. He buried his nose in Cha Hongjo’s neck, where his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down, inhaled, and then bit down.

“Ah…… Right……”

Cha Hongjo, lost in the sensation of his skin being sucked, suddenly remembered something and muttered,

“He’ll flip out if he sees a mark……”

Tomorrow, or the day after. Anyway, he had a movie audition. Tae Pyunghyun had repeatedly stressed, ‘Keep your body presentable.’ He’d said it while glancing at his tutoring teacher’s retreating figure as they packed their bag after their lesson. He’d also added that no one would want to cast a rookie with a scandal.

“……What did you say?”

“……Forget it, pretty boy, just keep doing what you’re doing.”

But since he was a mere fledgling with only three months of acting experience, it was safe to say there was practically no chance he would pass the audition, regardless of whether his body was presentable or not. He didn’t want to spoil the mood for something that might not even happen. Besides, he needed at least one flashy gimmick to stand out among the overflowing pool of aspirants. The role he was auditioning for was a delinquent anyway… No, wait a minute.

“Hey, fuck, hey pretty boy.”

“…….”

“Where do you think you’re touching, right now?”

He’d wondered why Go Baekwoo had been so still when he spread his legs. Go Baekwoo had just placed his fingers between his taut buttocks. At Cha Hongjo’s rebuke, he froze, lowered his head, and rolled his tongue inside his mouth. What should he do……. He didn’t know. He raised his head again and looked at Cha Hongjo. First, he’d try to persuade him.

“Can’t I?”

If he said no……

“Fuck, of course not.”

“You said you came to fuck me.”

“I did, I said I’d fuck you. Move.”

Cha Hongjo pushed Go Baekwoo’s chest away with his foot, pushing against the space between his legs. But Go Baekwoo resisted, grabbing his ankle. Fiercely, twisting his skin.

“You came, now it’s my turn.”

“Ha……”

Did he say he did boxing? Anyway, he had the face of a deer but the strength of a tiger. Cha Hongjo, guessing he wouldn’t be able to shake him off, relaxed his legs. Keeping eye contact with Go Baekwoo, he fumbled around, found a cigarette, and put it in his mouth.

“Not you.”

He tossed the cigarette pack. It hit Go Baekwoo’s broad chest with a thud and fell between his spread legs.

“It’s the cigarette’s turn.”

Cha Hongjo muttered with the cigarette in his mouth and threw the lighter towards Go Baekwoo. Only then did Go Baekwoo release his ankle and catch the lighter flying in an arc. Cha Hongjo sat up and leaned in close, bringing his face near.

The narrow space between them was filled with gray smoke and silence.

Cha Hongjo spoke first.

“Pretty boy.”

“Yeah.”

“You being on the bottom is a better picture, don’t you think?”

“Not in my picture.”

“What a shitty taste……”

Cha Hongjo chuckled, a sneer mixing with his words, and twisted his eyebrows as he inhaled from the filter.

“Since when did you start painting, this shitty picture?”

“Since you……”

Go Baekwoo finished exhaling the smoke and continued,

“Played a video and rubbed your dick on my face.”

“You were so quiet then, why are you attacking me now?”

“Because I’m getting desperate.”

Go Baekwoo, muttering quickly as if truly desperate, wrapped his arms around Cha Hongjo’s neck. His long fingers, long enough to fully encircle his neck, trailed down his spine.

“You keep disappearing.”

“…….”

“I don’t know when you’ll disappear again, how can I hold back now? Still.”

The hand that could forcefully control Cha Hongjo finally stopped at his waist.

“If you don’t want to, I won’t.”

It slowly pulled away.

“Because I like you.”

But contrary to his words, his touch as he pushed Cha Hongjo down was rough. Cha Hongjo, his head suddenly hitting the sofa, winced and pulled the cigarette from his lips.

“Don’t drop the ash, fuck……”

He grumbled, brushing the ash that had fallen on his cheek. He let Go Baekwoo adjust his position, spreading his legs wide.

The pretty boy wouldn’t do anything he didn’t like. Because he liked him. He had watched passively because he was certain of that.

“Cha Hongjo.”

Go Baekwoo, hooking one of Cha Hongjo’s legs over the back of the sofa and holding it in place, called his name softly. Cha Hongjo discarded his cigarette and lit a new one. Even with his legs spread wide open, he felt no shame. If he knew how to be ashamed, he wouldn’t have lived the way he had.

“You’ve practiced your acting a lot, haven’t you?”

“……Well.”

His reply was delayed because he was inhaling, heating the tip of the cigarette.

“Until you leave today,”

Go Baekwoo spoke as soon as Cha Hongjo finished his sentence.

“Pretend you’re reluctant because you like me.”

“…….”

“Then I’ll wait nicely, until I see you again……”

Cha Hongjo took a drag without replying. Go Baekwoo wrapped his hand around himself.

“Even if you, fuck…… do whatever the hell you want.”

Cha Hongjo took another drag without replying and furrowed his brow. Go Baekwoo slowly stroked himself.

“I’ll wait patiently for you, and when you come……”

Cha Hongjo, extending his arm out of the sofa to flick the ash, remained silent. It was impossible to grasp his thoughts from the subtle changes in his expression. But Go Baekwoo was swayed even by Cha Hongjo’s meager reactions. He was scratched without knowing the meaning, and stained without being able to do anything about it.

“When you come, I’ll do whatever you tell me to……”

Gazing at the face that revealed nothing to him as if to imprint it in his memory, Go Baekwoo increased the speed of his stroking.

“If you tell me to sit, I’ll sit, if you tell me to wag my tail, I’ll wag it.”

Like his moistening palm, Go Baekwoo’s voice became wet. Cha Hongjo watched him quietly with an impassive expression.

“I’ll never do anything you don’t like……”

“Baekwoo.”

While the pathetic vows continued, Cha Hongjo finally spoke, discarding his completely burned-out cigarette.

“Ha……”

Go Baekwoo gripped Cha Hongjo’s calf resting on the sofa. His hand, slick with pre-come, moved quickly as he stroked himself.

“Pretty boy, Baekwoo.”

It seemed Go Baekwoo was close to coming. Cha Hongjo waited for that moment, enunciating each syllable slowly.

“I’m sorry, but……”

“…….”

This was the only consideration he could offer Go Baekwoo, who was begging for even counterfeit affection, saying he liked him and would do as he was told.

“……Haa.”

Go Baekwoo let out a large breath like a sigh, his lips parted, teeth clenched, his chest heaving. His penis, which had been erect to his navel, twitched and spurted a whitish fluid.

“Acting is……”

Cha Hongjo trailed off, wiping the semen that had splattered on his lips with his fingertip. While Go Baekwoo’s eyes were squeezed shut in the throes of orgasm, he secretly licked his semen-coated finger.

“……Fuck……”

He’d tasted it out of curiosity, pretending it was nothing. It seemed the pretty boy, not him, should be the one acting. Semen wasn’t something edible. Anyway.

Cha Hongjo raised his gaze from the semen splattered from his chest to below his navel. His eyes met Go Baekwoo’s.

“Anyway, acting is,”

There was no need to wait any longer. He spoke without hesitation.

“Something you do for money.”

As if adding the words he hadn’t been able to say on the rooftop, Don’t like me.

“Not for feelings.”

“…….”

Then, breaking the sticky gaze, he sat up. He shifted away from Go Baekwoo. He pulled out some napkins from the table. He casually placed a few where Go Baekwoo could see them and wiped the semen off his skin with the rest. Then he picked up his scattered clothes and put them on. He’d left his top on the rooftop, so he put on Go Baekwoo’s instead. He couldn’t go home naked.

“I’m leaving.”

The teahouse, lights off in the pre-dawn hours. There were no customers, no owner, but Go Baekwoo was there.

“I think I’ve seen all there is to see. Let’s not meet again.”

Cha Hongjo, bidding farewell to the empty air, left the teahouse without a single backward glance.

He’d trampled on his resolve to sleep with Go Baekwoo and sever ties. He had a premonition that if he became further entangled with Go Baekwoo, physically or emotionally, there would be no turning back. What couldn’t he turn back from? A question bloomed in his mind, but he ignored it. He decided he shouldn’t be curious about Go Baekwoo anymore, about anything related to him. He was repeatedly plagued by the question of why he had to do that, but he ignored that too.

Anyway, he told himself, let’s not get involved with Go Baekwoo anymore.