Spark Chapter 3.2 - Detonation

Zoom out. The man’s back gradually grew smaller. Amidst the pure white winter landscape, the man became a speck. The screen faded to black. Only the melancholic music continued. Soon, the ending credits began to roll.

The audience members, with their mouths either tightly shut or wide open, snapped back to reality and stood up. Applause erupted.

Only one man in the VIP seats remained seated. He didn’t clap either. His gaze was fixed on the screen, but he wasn’t diligently reading the ending credits.

In the related personnel seats, in the same row as the VIP seats. Cha Hongjo, standing alongside the actors and key staff, bowed towards the audience and turned around. The applause showed no sign of stopping soon. Amidst it all, Cha Hongjo fell into a solitary silence. From the moment he spotted the only audience member still seated amidst everyone standing.

Even after the screen turned white, the applause didn’t cease. Director Kim and the cast climbed onto the stage, receiving thunderous cheers.

<Youth Chronicle> successfully concluded its first preview. It was the signal flare of a box office hit.

🔥

‘Opinions are divided regarding the ending of <Youth Chronicle>. Some say it’s a happy ending since the male and female leads ended up together, while others argue it’s a tragedy because it ends with the scene of ‘Yeo Jitae’ left alone. We’d like to hear the director’s and the actors’ opinions on this.’

The reporter first glanced at Cha Hongjo, but Director Kim spoke first.

‘Comedy, tragedy. Both are correct. Most viewers seem to want a clear ending, but I wanted to present an ambiguous one. Dualistic… Youth is both the purest and most brilliant moment in life, and also the most turbulent and unhappy time. It’s a time when love and farewell, future and past intertwine. <Youth Chronicle> is a film that deals with such a time.’

The reporter didn’t fully grasp Director Kim’s answer, but added their own interpretation and continued the question.

‘Director, it sounds like you’re saying that the two main characters ‘Kim Choji’ and ‘Lee Moon’ represent love and the future, while ‘Yeo Jitae’ represents farewell and the past. So, from the perspective of ‘Kim Choji’ and ‘Lee Moon,’ who achieved love and happiness, the movie has a happy ending, and from the perspective of ‘Yeo Jitae,’ who is left alone, it’s an unfortunate ending. Did I understand that correctly?’

‘If that’s how you interpreted it, then yes. You could say that’s right.’

‘Yes, I understand what you mean, Director. What do the actors think? First…’

The reporter, looking away from Director Kim who finished answering, immediately pointed at Cha Hongjo.

‘Hongjo, starting with you.’

The reporter deliberately ignored the two lead actors, whose complexions weren’t good. It was quite an unconventional progression to ask the supporting actor before the leads, but this time was an exception. This was due to the director’s repeated request to conduct the interview focusing on Kim Doyoung and Cha Hongjo.

The media must present content that the public will cheer for. The content that currently monopolized the public’s attention was Cha Hongjo. It was a reaction that had been anticipated to some extent from the moment he was revealed as ‘Director Kim’s rookie’ during the production of <Youth Chronicle>, but even Director Kim, who had chosen Cha Hongjo at the audition without hesitation, hadn’t foreseen that he would gain such popularity as to overshadow the leads.

‘Hongjo, do you think <Youth Chronicle> is a tragedy… no, I apologize. I’ll rephrase my question. <Youth Chronicle> ends with a scene of ‘Yeo Jitae’ walking and walking. It doesn’t show what ultimately happened to ‘Yeo Jitae.’ So many people are curious, myself included. What was the man, ‘Yeo Jitae,’ who was rough and free-spirited throughout the movie but left only with sorrow at the end, thinking as he walked down the snowy road, and where did he go? Did he go back to his former lover ‘Kim Choji’? Or did he go to seek revenge on ‘Lee Moon’ who stole his former lover? Or did he start a new life?’

Cha Hongjo, dressed like ‘Yeo Jitae’ at the request of the talk show producers, parted his slightly disheveled hair and moistened his lips. The slightly loose black silk shirt wrinkled, forming soft curves. His long legs, encased in black suit pants, were crossed in a nonchalant manner. Similarly, his black shoes gleamed smoothly, reflecting the lighting.

‘To answer truthfully, I’d have to get permission from the director.’

Cha Hongjo tilted his head towards Director Kim.

‘Director, is it okay if I talk about it?’

Director Kim, looking at Cha Hongjo with a strange glint in his eyes, jerked his chin once. It was an assent. Cha Hongjo smiled faintly.

‘After I finished reading the script, I also asked the director. Director, so what happens to Yeo Jitae? Then the director asked me back. What do you think will happen to Yeo Jitae? You are Yeo Jitae.’

Cha Hongjo imitated Director Kim’s tone with his characteristic soft, low voice.

‘Only Yeo Jitae would know what will happen to him…’

The moment Cha Hongjo closed his lips, as if he had devoured everyone in the studio, silence fell. Then, his lips parted again.

‘So I said again. Is there anyone in the world who knows what will happen to them? Even fortune tellers don’t know their own future.’

With everyone’s attention focused on him, Cha Hongjo continued speaking leisurely.

‘Then the director said, Still, Yeo Jitae must have a future he desires. You’re the one who decides that… So I decided as I pleased. Yeo Jitae’s future. It’s a scene that’s not in the script, nor in the movie. Only I, as Yeo Jitae, and the director know. I’m revealing it now…’

‘A secret backstory is being revealed! I’m very much looking forward to it.’

The reporter chimed in with an excited voice. Cha Hongjo’s smile deepened.

‘Let’s just keep it between us here, and you can edit it out.’

The rich smile and whispering low voice fueled anticipation. The audience, voluntarily trapped in silence, swallowed dryly, waiting for Cha Hongjo to speak. Finally.

‘Yeo Jitae dies.’

The audience was shocked by the unexpected ending. Yang Seohee and Kim Hyunwoo also seemed surprised by the story they were hearing for the first time. Only Director Kim and Cha Hongjo remained unfazed. The reporter hurriedly asked.

‘How, how does he die?’

‘How… I haven’t thought about that. He commits suicide. Now that I’ve said it, I feel like it’ll be edited out.’

Cha Hongjo muttered jokingly and crossed his legs the other way.

‘You asked if Yeo Jitae goes to find Kim Choji or Lee Moon.’

‘Yes, I did.’

‘My answer is no.’

Cha Hongjo rested his elbow on his thigh and propped his chin on his hand. It was a somewhat inappropriate posture, but no one reprimanded him. The story continued.

‘Yeo Jitae erased Kim Choji. After breaking up, he realized that love was a trivial thing. He doesn’t seek revenge on Lee Moon either. He has no lingering attachment to the past, so he doesn’t place any hope in the future. Yeo Jitae has no plans. Yeo Jitae just… walks towards the end.’

‘That’s difficult… But, Hongjo, is there really no chance for Yeo Jitae to start a new life? He’s too precious a character to die. I think the fans will find it regrettable too.’

‘A new life… There might be.’

Cha Hongjo, who had asserted that Yeo Jitae would commit suicide, unexpectedly nodded and added.

‘If something like reincarnation exists.’

It was a tone and expression as if Yeo Jitae himself was speaking, as if he had let go of everything.

There were conflicting opinions on whether to edit out ‘Yeo Jitae’s ending,’ but the production team ultimately decided to air it. After the tragic ending of the Yeo Jitae character, considered the key to <Youth Chronicle>’s success, was revealed, various reinterpretations and reviews poured out. Cha Hongjo, who flawlessly portrayed ‘Yeo Jitae’ in his first acting role, seized the title of ‘genius’ and rose to the top. Interview and casting offers flooded in like a tidal wave. Fans camped out wherever Cha Hongjo had schedules with the company, waiting for him…

Thud—.

As soon as he barely made his way through the fans blocking the entrance of the broadcasting station and got into the car, Cha Hongjo leaned back against the seat and put a cigarette in his mouth.

Park Solchan, who had taken over Tae Pyunghyun’s position as manager, silently started the car, sensing Cha Hongjo’s irritability. He couldn’t immediately increase the speed due to the crowd rushing towards the car. Even simple movements were exhausting, but he had quickly gotten used to it. It would be a lie to say it wasn’t hard, but the fact that he was the manager of Cha Hongjo, the trending actor of the moment, gave Park Solchan a sense of pride and duty.

When the car reached a less crowded road, Park Solchan rolled down the backseat window. Cha Hongjo then lit the cigarette he had been holding in his mouth.

“What’s next?”

Cha Hongjo murmured in a low voice. He was asking about his next schedule. Park Solchan glanced at the backseat through the rearview mirror and said.

“All of today’s schedules are finished.”

“…….”

“But…”

Park Solchan was polite and well-mannered, but his lack of eloquence and slow actions were his weaknesses. Still, he was better than the previous manager, who was noisy and crossed the line as if it were natural. Cha Hongjo flicked the ash out the window as he listened to Park Solchan’s slow words.

“The CEO contacted me.”

His eyes, which had been looking indifferently out the window, shifted forward.

“When?”

“Earlier… while you were filming.”

“What did he say?”

“He said to take you home as soon as your filming was over.”

“…….”

Cha Hongjo’s gaze went back out the window. Seeing his displeased expression, Park Solchan reviewed whether he had made a mistake. He seemed to have done nothing wrong.

“Solchan.”

“Yes, yes?”

Park Solchan flinched as if his wrong thoughts had been exposed.

“Why are you startled?”

“No, no, I was focusing on driving… I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“I, I think I startled you.”

“Wasn’t it you who was startled, not me?”

“Yes… so…”

“…….”

“I’m sorry…”

“…….”

Park Solchan checked his face in the rearview mirror, wondering if he was sweating. Fortunately, he wasn’t sweating, but his expression was a mess.

He respected but also feared Cha Hongjo, the actor he ‘served.’ If he had to describe it, it felt like taking care of a time bomb. Before becoming his manager, he had heard that Cha Hongjo had a calm and quiet personality, so there wouldn’t be any difficulties as long as he did his job well. However, in reality… While Actor Cha was taciturn and thus quiet, he wasn’t calm.

Based on his short experience, he was always sensitive as if facing a problem, and his mood swings were so extreme that it was difficult to keep up with him. When drunk, his mood swings became even more severe, and his embarrassing behavior made things incredibly difficult. He also drank too much and too often. Park Solchan suspected alcohol addiction, but he wasn’t in a position to get him counseling, so he couldn’t even suggest it.

The CEO of Hi Entertainment, who had hired him, had instructed him to report everything, even minor details, regarding Actor Cha. So, he reported most things, but he had also hidden countless things that he deemed inappropriate to mention, considering them the actor’s private matters. He was someone who assisted ‘Actor Cha,’ not ‘Cha Hongjo.’ It seemed presumptuous to mention problems that arose from ‘Cha Hongjo’ as an individual. Besides, CEO Go and Actor Cha were personally acquainted, so even if he didn’t mention everything…

Park Solchan cut off his train of thought and shook his head. As a manager, he just had to do his job well.

“Hongjo, I… I’ll take you home and…”

“Get off work.”

“Yes…”

🔥

Cha Hongjo grabbed the doorknob and turned it without taking out his key. As expected. The door was unlocked, as he had anticipated.

Stepping inside, Cha Hongjo kicked off his sleek shoes and locked the door. No one else would come to this house now.

“…You’re here.”

How long had he been like that? Go Baekwoo, sitting upright on the sofa, spoke. Cha Hongjo responded with a glance as he took off his jacket. The leather sofa creaked. The figure that had seemed like a still life moved. The presence followed him to the kitchen. Feeling somewhat suffocated, he undid another shirt button and filled an empty glass with water. While he gulped down the cold water, the presence that had followed him was now standing close behind him. The back of his neck prickled.

“Did you eat dinner?”

Clink. Cha Hongjo put the glass down on the sink as if tossing it and turned to face Go Baekwoo.

“Not yet.”

“Should we go out to eat?”

Go Baekwoo asked casually.

“No.”

Cha Hongjo narrowly avoided him and headed for his room. Go Baekwoo, as expected, followed. Like a dog.

“Then should we order delivery?”

“No.”

“…Should I make ramen?”

“No, alcohol.”

“…….”

Leaning against the doorframe, Go Baekwoo watched the man shed the clothes he had meticulously put on like ‘Yeo Jitae,’ layer by layer. Eventually, the man, clad only in his underwear, returned to the ‘Cha Hongjo’ he was familiar with.

“Going to wash up?”

“Yeah.”

“Cha Hongjo.”

Cha Hongjo, about to pass Go Baekwoo again, turned his head. Go Baekwoo rubbed his cheek and mouth, then swallowed a rising sigh and opened his lips.

“…Beer, soju?”

“Soju.”

“For snacks.”

“Whatever.”

After the brief conversation ended, the two turned their backs and walked to their respective destinations. Go Baekwoo headed to the kitchen, pondering snacks, even though he knew Cha Hongjo would barely touch them.

Cha Hongjo entered the bathroom and, out of habit, locked the door. He immediately turned on the faucet. Staring at the pouring water, he leaned on the sink. His head tilted. His upper body bent. His knees buckled. He eventually collapsed.

“Fuck…”

He wiped his face with his dry hands, then stood up again. And… he picked up one of the two toothbrushes in the cup.

“Doesn’t he get tired of it…”

It had started on January 2nd. They were living together in a way he couldn’t understand.

Go Baekwoo had furnished the new house with everything from furniture to small household items. The toothbrush he was holding now, spoons, glasses, dining chairs, pillows, and so on… all in pairs. As if it were the belongings of a newlywed couple.

However, nothing like a ‘newlywed couple’ ever happened. Go Baekwoo spent more days at Cha Hongjo’s house than at his own family home, and he slept in the same bed and shared the same blanket with Cha Hongjo. But there was absolutely no sexual contact. Except for nagging him to eat, he didn’t ask for anything. Cha Hongjo also didn’t object to anything other than skipping meals.

The uncomfortable yet natural daily life had been going on for over thirty days…

Clatter—!

Cha Hongjo suddenly threw his toothbrush. He then glared at the closed door.

A shell on the outside. A shell on the inside.

Trapped in a strange peace, stagnating and festering. Go Baekwoo might be quite satisfied, though.

Cha Hongjo, clad only in his underwear, came out, drying his hair with a towel. His eyes met Go Baekwoo’s, who was sitting on the living room sofa.

A navy coat was draped over the armrest of the sofa, and on the table were two bottles of soju and a bowl filled with something red. Since there was nothing but ramen at home, it seemed he had gone out to buy it. He tossed the damp towel carelessly into a corner of the room and sat down next to Go Baekwoo.

Go Baekwoo peeled the wrapping off disposable chopsticks, and Cha Hongjo pulled the ashtray, which had been pushed to the edge of the table, in front of him. Go Baekwoo glanced sharply at Cha Hongjo, who lit a cigarette before touching the food, but his closed, beautiful lips didn’t move.

Exhaling smoke, Cha Hongjo gestured towards the bowl, precariously full of bright red broth and ingredients.

“Spicy fish stew?”

“Yeah.”

After asking, he didn’t glance at the stew again and picked up a glass. As if they had coordinated, Go Baekwoo twisted open the soju bottle cap and filled the glass in Cha Hongjo’s cigarette-holding hand exactly halfway.

“Fill it up.”

“…….”

He filled the rest of the glass. Cha Hongjo immediately downed it in one gulp. He placed the empty glass on the table, his brow furrowing slightly. Go Baekwoo had just poured his own share, and stared at Cha Hongjo’s glass with a disapproving look before reluctantly filling it again.

Cha Hongjo emptied his glass for the second time and stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray. Then he moved his arm. Go Baekwoo hoped Cha Hongjo would pick up his chopsticks. But the empty hand went down under the table.

Cha Hongjo retrieved a stack of papers from under the glass table, picking up one bundle first and placing the rest on his thigh. They were scripts.

Water droplets from his undried black hair stained the paper, but Cha Hongjo didn’t seem to mind. Go Baekwoo, who had been observing him, pushed the spicy fish stew, which was clearly not going to be touched, to the corner and moved the stack of papers from Cha Hongjo’s thigh to the empty space on the table.

Cha Hongjo’s gaze, which had been absorbed in the printed words, momentarily followed Go Baekwoo’s hand that had brushed against his thigh. It quickly returned to its original position as if it hadn’t happened.

Go Baekwoo openly stared at Cha Hongjo’s profile as he read the script with a look of deep concentration. He then downed the soju he hadn’t touched and focused on Cha Hongjo again. The lingering taste of soju on his tongue was bitter.

“…Have you decided on your next project?”

Go Baekwoo broke the silence, bobbing his Adam’s apple as if to swallow even the bitter taste. Cha Hongjo, who had seemed to be getting sucked into the script, unexpectedly turned his head and met his eyes.

“Not yet.”

Cha Hongjo, who had been sitting about a handspan away, shifted his lower body closer. Go Baekwoo’s grip tightened on the empty soju glass he had been holding meaninglessly. That was the extent of the ‘action’ Go Baekwoo could take. Conversely, Cha Hongjo didn’t stop there and leaned closer. His damp skin touched Go Baekwoo’s stiff shirt. His wet hair dampened his shoulders. Cha Hongjo’s weight, as he leaned fully against him, pressed against Go Baekwoo’s chest.

“You haven’t even finished reading them all.”

New movie and drama scripts were pouring in. Manager Kim Yongmin had suggested that the company side review the scripts first and select a few to forward to him, but Cha Hongjo had insisted on reading them himself and deciding on his next project. There was no reason to stop him if the actor himself wanted to do so.

Cha Hongjo slid down and put both legs up on the sofa. His head, which had been resting on Go Baekwoo’s shoulder, moved down to his thigh. The bearable weight and ticklish hair caressed his thigh. Go Baekwoo clenched his teeth. His white, smooth jaw hollowed. Cha Hongjo, lying with his head on Go Baekwoo’s thigh, seemed completely unperturbed.

“If it’s too much… do what Manager Kim suggested last time.”

Go Baekwoo, clenching his fist secretly, muttered in a gentle tone.

“Hmm…”

Cha Hongjo hummed as if in thought, then crumpled the script and tossed it onto his chest. The crumpled paper precariously balanced on his rising and falling abdomen. The breaths of the stiffly seated Go Baekwoo and the reclining Cha Hongjo met and mingled in the space between them several times.

Cha Hongjo closed his eyes tightly, then opened them, laughing silently. He hadn’t seemed to intend it, but one eye opened a moment later, making it look like he was winking. It was captivating.

“Not Manager Kim.”

Of course, his simply smiling face was also incredibly charming.

“How about the pretty CEO chooses for me?”

Go Baekwoo, with an indifferent and rigid expression, clenched his bare fist even tighter.

“…Me?”

“Yeah, you.”

And at that moment, Cha Hongjo, who had agreed, instantly changed his expression. His warmly curved eyes sharpened, and the corners of his lips, which had been lifted cheerfully, fell back into place. Cha Hongjo, who had flipped his expression like the back of his hand, looked as if he were acting the part of a madman.

“Why, don’t you like it?”

Cha Hongjo, frowning and turning over, pushed Go Baekwoo. His movements were rough. Go Baekwoo saw hostility in the eyes approaching him. At that moment, the back of his head was grabbed.

“Why are you…”

Go Baekwoo’s eyes momentarily trembled. Go Baekwoo, who had seemed like a flower carved from stone, finally wavered. The fluttering of his eyelashes tickled Cha Hongjo’s gaze.

Cha Hongjo frowned even more and stole the question Go Baekwoo was about to ask.

“Why are you doing this? Huh? Go Baekwoo.”

“…….”

“What are you trying to do?”

It was a question with neither head nor tail, but Go Baekwoo wore an expression as if his weak point had been struck.

“Cha Hongjo.”

“I said you were acting like a jerk, but fuck, it turns out I’m the jerk.”

“What are you…”

“You’re making me force myself to fit you, aren’t you?”

Cha Hongjo wrapped his hand around Go Baekwoo’s neck. He could feel the bobbing of Go Baekwoo’s Adam’s apple trapped in his palm.

“…Let’s talk after you let go, okay?”

“Were you happy playing your pathetic little house game? Baekwoo, huh?”

“…….”

“How are you feeling now?”

He asked, squeezing Go Baekwoo’s elegantly extended neck as if to break it. Go Baekwoo’s complexion turned as white as a sheet, then flushed red like autumn leaves.

“Suffocated.”

His tightly closed lips parted. A response couldn’t be uttered because his throat was constricted.

Cha Hongjo, dissatisfied even with the sight of his opponent, who looked as if he would roll his eyes back and faint any moment, tightened his grip.

“Do you feel like you’re going to die?”

Cha Hongjo asked, tilting his head slightly. Go Baekwoo, again, couldn’t answer.

“Baekwoo.”

“…….”

“Do I seem crazy?”

Go Baekwoo, flushed crimson, parted his lips and grabbed Cha Hongjo’s wrist. He had reached his limit of quietly enduring.

“Do I give you the creeps?”

“…….”

Cha Hongjo, looming in his vision, doubled, tripled, doubled again… increasing and decreasing. He was on the verge of fainting.

“You do that to me.”

It was the moment Cha Hongjo’s words scratched at his heart. Go Baekwoo roughly tore off the hand gripping his neck. A cough erupted, as if he had swallowed water the wrong way. His head spun. He struggled to regulate his breathing, reeling from the dizzying air. At the same time, he ruminated over Cha Hongjo’s words.

How are you feeling? Suffocated. Do you feel like you’re going to die? Do I seem crazy? Do I give you the creeps?

You do that to me…

Instead of steadying, his breathing only grew more ragged. His lungs constricted. His chest ached. Go Baekwoo looked at Cha Hongjo with eyes red and wet.

Cha Hongjo said,

“It was perfect when you were just wagging your tail.”

Cha Hongjo looked away, tracing back to the past. To the time when he had lived in the back room of a cigarette shop. To the time when Go Baekwoo was just ‘Pretty.’

“I spoiled you too much, didn’t I?”

His gaze, which had briefly drifted back in time, returned to Go Baekwoo.

“…You’re right, I was wrong…”

“…….”

Though there were unspoken words left hanging, Go Baekwoo shed tears as if he had anticipated the words Cha Hongjo had held back. The tears welling up in his eyes spread across his cheeks, and teardrops fell like a drizzle.

Cha Hongjo subtly shifted his gaze. Finally, staring at the light-colored hair that slightly covered Go Baekwoo’s ear, he opened his mouth.

“Let’s say you did whatever the fuck you wanted with what you liked, but fuck, I shouldn’t have. I spread my legs around like a goddamn slut. So you got the wrong idea that we were something.”

“Ha…”

“Dating, breaking up, getting back together, all by yourself.”

Go Baekwoo let out a broken breath, and Cha Hongjo, holding his breath, spewed venomous words.

“Even your fucking house game.”

“…Cha Hongjo.”

“You said it, that twenty-four hours wasn’t enough to keep an eye on me. I said it was a waste of time.”

“I…”

“This is enough.”

Cha Hongjo wiped his face as if tired of this moment.

“Baekwoo.”

“…….”

“Stop trying.”

Go Baekwoo’s wet face contorted. Cha Hongjo peeked at him through the fingers rubbing his brow, then lowered his gaze and dredged up the words that had settled at the very bottom.

“The more you do this, the more I feel like I’m being punished.”

“Hongjo.”

“I told you. I can’t love you the way you love me. But that’s what you want.”

“No…”

“So.”

“Hongjo, please.”

“Stop liking me.”

“No…”

Now, Go Baekwoo’s tears weren’t just falling; they were pouring down like a downpour. His vision blurred. He grew anxious, unable to see Cha Hongjo clearly. Go Baekwoo fumbled, searching for Cha Hongjo, repeating, “No, Hongjo, no…” He grabbed his arm. But he was flung away. Cha Hongjo stood up. Turned around and left. Go Baekwoo chased after him. But slam—.

Cha Hongjo closed the door. He was blocked.

He knocked on the door, continuously calling for Cha Hongjo. Please come out, Hongjo. It’s not like that. It’s not like that, I… I…

Go Baekwoo, slumped on the floor, wept like a lost child.

He knew he should leave Cha Hongjo alone, but he couldn’t. ‘Twenty-four hours. I’ll watch everything you do, everyone you meet.’ Anyone would be fed up hearing those words. Impatient with Cha Hongjo, who was right in front of him yet unreachable, he had blurted it out impulsively. It was a mistake.

‘Suffocated.’

Had Cha Hongjo felt suffocated since then?

Thinking he had succeeded in keeping Cha Hongjo close, he had indulged in excessive fantasies. Imagining spending nights with Cha Hongjo, he had bought a large bed. Imagining eating facing Cha Hongjo, he had bought two sets of spoons. Wanting to share trivial conversations with Cha Hongjo over drinks, he had bought two sets of glasses. Since they would sit facing each other, two chairs for the dining table. Toothbrushes too… everything.

Without asking if Cha Hongjo wanted any of it.

‘Do I give you the creeps?’

A house where a man obsessed with delusions waited. Creepy enough.

‘You do that to me.’

He had tried to give everything to Cha Hongjo, but not his heart. Because he realized the severed edge of his half-grown, solitary love was a blade. The blade he thought only cut himself had also wounded Cha Hongjo. So he hid it within himself, so it wouldn’t touch Cha Hongjo. He didn’t care if he was cut.

He couldn’t even hold Cha Hongjo’s gaze for long, fearing his own eyes would burn him. He didn’t dare touch him, lest he lose control and pull him into his arms. When the urge to confess welled up, he would clench his teeth and endure, whispering secretly when Cha Hongjo was asleep. He regretted and reproached himself, wondering if even his whispers would weigh down Cha Hongjo’s shoulders.

‘The more you do this, the more I feel like I’m being punished.’

A misunderstanding. That punishment wasn’t for Cha Hongjo, but for himself.

‘I told you. I can’t love you the way you love me. But that’s what you want.’

Cha Hongjo had noticed. Go Baekwoo finally faced his own severed edge. He had pretended to let go of Cha Hongjo while building a fence around him. He had struggled to fulfill his desires while pretending to give up. He had been fervent while pretending to be indifferent.

There was no other way.

‘Stop liking me.’

He couldn’t.

“Cha Hongjo…”

Go Baekwoo, creating a small puddle on the floor with his tears, lifted his head.

“…Hongjo, can you hear me?”

It felt like murmuring into a disconnected phone.

“Listen carefully, this is… you need to know this.”

His swollen lips felt heavy. But he spoke.

“I…”

His eyes, staring at the wall, beyond the wall, were red, wet, and gleaming.

“I’d rather die than stop.”

Except for carving out the part of his brain etched with Cha Hongjo, he didn’t know how to stop.

Just as there is no moth that doesn’t fly into a burning flame.

“Do you understand…?”

The door was still closed. But it would open someday. He just had to wait until then.

‘I’d rather die than stop.’

The words meaning he couldn’t not love him. To someone, they might be a romantic confession, but to Cha Hongjo, they were a sentence.

“Do you understand…?”

He felt trapped.

The lingering presence beyond the door penetrated the wall and stabbed him in the back.

Go Baekwoo was a tenacious vine. The more it was cut, the thicker it grew. The more he tried to shake him off, the tighter he entangled himself. He had pierced his skin and taken root deep inside. Even if he tried to pull him out, he would only stretch like rubber, never breaking.

The day he had forcibly grasped Mrs. Jo’s earrings. With the wound digging into his palm as the final mark, he had been certain no trace of Go Baekwoo would remain in his body or heart.

But Go Baekwoo, feeding on Cha Hongjo’s harsh treatment, had grown into a weed resistant to any herbicide. A weed with tough stems and roots beneath its bright blossoms. He had left it untouched because it was beautiful, and before he knew it, it had burrowed inside and spread its poison. A poison that resurrected the loneliness he had buried in the past.

The more Go Baekwoo’s stake in him grew, the more afraid he became. Because he knew the void that would be revealed when Go Baekwoo disappeared one day.

He had killed the land to avoid being betrayed or having expectations again, but Go Baekwoo had stubbornly taken root and bloomed in the wasteland.

‘I’d rather die than stop.’

People are foolish, and love is deceitful. Go Baekwoo was being deceived. He was completely unaware. That the price of love is ruin, and how disgusting the stench of love’s corpse is.

You’d rather die than stop?

Only when faced with death do people reflect on the past, regretting that they should have stopped then. Or they rationalize their foolish selves and find someone else to blame. Like his father, who still haunted him…

‘I’d rather die than stop.’

It felt suffocating.

In the barren land littered with broken flowers, only Go Baekwoo stood tall.

Cha Hongjo wanted to run away.

🔥

A handsome man, with his head tilted back towards the sky, drinks a beige liquid. His prominent Adam’s apple moves up and down significantly. The liquid that doesn’t quite reach his lips flows down his chin.

Cha Hongjo felt the urge to vomit what he was drinking. Nausea rose. But he managed to swallow, down to the last drop. He straightened his head, wiped his mouth, and turned to the side. Meeting the gaze of the pitch-black camera lens like a pit, he smiled ‘refreshingly’ as the director had instructed.

He had to maintain the smile until he was given the okay, but a twisting pain surged within him. The corners of his lips, forced upwards, trembled, and just as his expression was about to crumble—

“Cut!”

The director shouted.

“Hongjo, that last expression…”

Before the director, approaching with a bright face, could finish his sentence, Cha Hongjo bolted from the studio. He entered the bathroom and slammed the door as if to break it. He immediately collapsed, clutching the toilet and vomiting.

“Hongjo!”

A voice echoed from above.

“Are you, are you okay?”

Park Solchan, who had followed him, asked hesitantly and patted his back. Cha Hongjo brushed off the hand on his back. He felt dizzy, but after emptying his stomach, he felt much better.

“…I’m fine.”

Standing up as if nothing had happened, Cha Hongjo rinsed his mouth with tap water. He wanted to splash water all over his face, but considering the additional filming, he only wiped his mouth. When he finally lifted his head, he saw Park Solchan, fidgeting anxiously, reflected in the mirror behind him.

“I, I’ll get you some digestive medicine. Manager Kim told me to have some just in case…”

“I’m really fine, I said.”

“Still…”

It was a common occurrence during commercial shoots, where one had to constantly consume the same food or drink. However, Park Solchan couldn’t shake off his worry. This was because Cha Hongjo’s complexion was excessively pale, even considering his naturally fair skin and makeup.

“Just get me a toothbrush.”

He had only consumed the drink used for filming all day, and although he had rinsed his mouth, he felt unclean. An unpleasant sweetness clung to his tongue.

“And toothpaste. Buy some if there isn’t any.”

“But, if you get sick…”

Cha Hongjo pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheeks, puffing them out, then parted his lips.

“Hurry up.”

“…Then, I’ll be back quickly.”

Park Solchan hesitated for a moment but then moved his feet.

Cha Hongjo, his color returned, went back to the studio with his usual expression. The director and staff, who had heard about the situation from Park Solchan, expressed their concern to Cha Hongjo, but no one made a big deal out of it.

However, Park Solchan, who had the duty of safely looking after Cha Hongjo, couldn’t let go of his anxiety. It might be an overstatement, but if Cha Hongjo were to develop any internal illness, he would be the first to be reprimanded by Manager Kim, followed by CEO Go.

“Hongjo, are you really okay…?”

Park Solchan asked cautiously when they arrived at the car in the underground parking lot after the filming was completely over. Cha Hongjo, neither denying nor confirming, simply looked at him, then—

“Solchan.”

He suddenly pulled out his wallet and held out a few green bills.

“Get off work.”

“Huh? But today, to your house…”

“Take it, for a taxi.”

Cha Hongjo grabbed Park Solchan’s wrist, which was alternating between looking at the bills and him, and forcefully stuffed the money into his hand.

“No, Hongjo, that’s…”

“Why, do you have more schedules today?”

“That’s not it. I have to…”

“Did Go Baekwoo specifically tell you to take me home?”

“…….”

Seeing him hesitate, Cha Hongjo smirked. He was right. It was obvious, after all.

Cha Hongjo patted Park Solchan’s shoulder.

“It’s fine, so get off work.”

He wasn’t the type to be stubborn after this much. As expected, Park Solchan, still looking uneasy, took out the car key and handed it to Cha Hongjo.

“Then… uh, go in and rest.”

Park Solchan bowed politely, bending at the waist, and turned around. Then, with an “Ah,” he flinched and returned to ask,

“But, do you know how to drive?”

Cha Hongjo nodded.

He didn’t have a license, but he knew how to drive thanks to a woman he had met once. The woman, of whom only a faint memory of a clear voice remained, had said she liked watching Cha Hongjo drive. She had promised to buy him a car later, but before that, Cha Hongjo had told her he didn’t want to see her anymore, and that was the end of it. Anyway, he hadn’t touched a steering wheel since then, but he figured his body would remember. If his body didn’t remember, then at that point, just…

“…….”

Cha Hongjo, sitting in the driver’s seat, waited until Park Solchan was completely out of sight before starting the car. The steering wheel felt unfamiliar for a moment, but as expected, his body hadn’t forgotten the past. Memories may fade, but they remain as stains that cannot be erased.

‘Did you learn to drive?’

‘Yeah.’

Go Baekwoo, who had suddenly appeared at the <Youth Chronicle> filming set one day driving his own car, flashed across his mind. He had been newly impressed watching Go Baekwoo’s profile as he started the car…

“…….”

Cha Hongjo frowned as if he had had a wrong thought. He snapped out of his steep reverie and glared at the road.

He desperately needed a place to hide.

He needed a place to completely vomit out his rotten insides.

Along with the wind, ‘that place’ came to mind.

And so, he left Seoji-dong.

🔥

[Welcome to Miyang City, ‘The City of Happy Families’]

It had been three years, but he somehow didn’t get lost. Just another 30 minutes or so.

The car, which had been on the highway for a while, turned onto a side road. Soon, fields stretched out on both sides. Beyond them, scattered farmhouses nestled against the mountain.

Getting here had been relatively easy, but from now on was the problem. The undeveloped neighborhoods all looked similar, and the direction his memory pointed to was hazy.

Driving a little longer than he had anticipated, as he was about to pass a certain point, he slowed down and continuously scanned left and right, and finally found it. The zelkova tree, like an old general guarding the entrance of the village. Next to it, three pine trees stretching in different directions. Further away, there was a moss-covered well.

This is it.

Cha Hongjo, filled with certainty, parked the car at a suitable spot, passing the zelkova and pine trees, and the well.

As he stepped out of the car, his feet landed on dirt. The air that enveloped him was cold and clear. Unlike Seoul, where dust floated in the air. The scent of grass that filled his nostrils was refreshing.

His memories, which had been foggy until he reached his destination, now cleared up brightly. Even though it had been three years, he had visited this place at least once a month as a child.

A mountain village in Miyang City. It was where his grandfather had lived. His father would leave Cha Hongjo here whenever he was ‘busy’ and pick him up after three days at the shortest, ten days at the longest.

His grandfather had died of old age when Cha Hongjo was fifteen. His grandmother had passed away early, so he had only heard stories about her; he had never met her. In any case, his grandparents, and his father, were now part of the mountains surrounding this village.

Cha Hongjo stared at the mountain, its peak covered with white snow, then started walking.

Soon, he came to a fork in the road. If he went left, he would arrive at his grandfather’s house, but he chose the right path. He walked unhesitatingly along the path he had slowly walked along, holding a wrinkled, large hand, more than ten years ago.

The hole-in-the-wall store, without a signboard, was the only supermarket in the rural village. His grandfather used to buy cigarettes, soju, and snacks here. He would give his young grandson a candy jar or a bag of ‘assorted jellies.’ The store owner was an old woman with her white hair tied back in a bun, but now there was no one there. Cha Hongjo grabbed some soju, paper cups, and cigarettes, placed a few bills on the table with a faded telephone and a gum container, and left.

At five thirty in the afternoon. The countryside, close to nature, greeted the evening earlier than the city. Looking up at the deep blue sky just before sunset, Cha Hongjo quickened his pace.

Passing a brick-tiled house, the foot of the mountain came into view. The mountain path, barely touched by human feet, was overgrown with weeds. It was fortunate that it was winter. Thanks to the weeds having withered, unable to withstand the cold, the path was faintly visible. If it had been any other season, it would have been easy to lose his way.

He climbed the slope, covering his shoes with dirt and dust. The sun, which had been hanging on the mountaintop, had now disappeared. The sunset, pushed back by the dark blue night, barely clung to the mountainside. The wind grew sharper as the darkness deepened. Despite constantly moving, his body didn’t warm up. Instead, the tip of his nose tingled, and his fingertips curled inwards. All the trees were bare, having lost their leaves, and with every gust of wind, an eerie rustling sound swirled around him.

“Ha…”

He sighed, thinking he should be around here, and a puff of white breath escaped his lips.

The mountain, embraced by the night, was pitch black. Cha Hongjo continued his night trek, relying on his senses. He had taken about twenty steps when a gnarled, old tree blocked his path. As he ducked under it, he emerged onto a flat area, artificially carved out of the mountainside. Three spots bulged slightly…

He had arrived.

Was it because his eyes had adjusted to the darkness, or thanks to the dense starlight? He was no longer blind in the night mountain. Three tombstones and graves, covered in hair-like weeds, were clearly visible. His grandparents’ and father’s graves. Cha Hongjo went to the furthest, third grave.

“…….”

The tombstone was engraved with the man’s name in three Chinese characters, and below it, his birth and death dates. The man’s death date was also his son’s birthday. Cha Hongjo felt mocked by those mere numbers.

“Father.”

The man he resented.

He knelt before the tombstone.

You should have stayed buried here. Why do you keep coming to me when I’m about to forget you? The father who never sought me out when he was alive.

“This time, I came to you.”

He placed two paper cups and poured soju into each one. One was his share, the other his father’s.

“Are you glad to see me?”

Father and son had a private conversation after a very long time. But one remained silent. Cha Hongjo drank the soju and looked down at the paper cup that would never be emptied. He placed the paper cup in his hand next to it.

“Or do you want to chase me away?”

Cha Hongjo, posing a question he would never receive an answer to, put a cigarette in his mouth.

“…….”

The wind lashed at every inch of his body. Even when he wasn’t puffing, the tip of the cigarette glowed red, then dimmed repeatedly.

“I thought I’d never come here again… but I suddenly wanted to.”

He continued to mutter to himself.

“…That’s a lie. Actually, I came here because I had nowhere else to go.”

Cha Hongjo unbent his knees and sat cross-legged, making himself comfortable.

“I wanted to be alone, but there’s nowhere I can be alone. I’ve become famous, you see. But you’re not. You lived a shitty life and died alone. You’re alone even in death…”

His eyes, fixed on the tombstone, shifted to the side and then returned.

“Are you not alone because Grandpa and Grandma are next to you?”

He chuckled and took a swig of soju directly from the bottle.

“I should have buried you somewhere else. I want you to be lonely. You left me alone too. We resemble each other in our faces, and in our messed-up lives, so it’s only fair if we resemble each other in loneliness too. Don’t you think?”

Cha Hongjo rambled as his lips moved. When he drank, the chilling sound of the wind filled the silence.

“Ah, are you offended that I said I resemble you? But everyone said I resemble you. Only you said I resembled Mother…”

The rustling grass made sounds, as if answering on behalf of the deceased.

“Father. Why did you have me?”

Rustle, rustle…

“Did you just have me because I was conceived? You didn’t even act like a proper father, and fuck, you killed yourself on my birthday… Ah, I might as well ask. Why that day? You told me to come home early.”

His expression, as he talked to himself, was morphing into that of someone enduring a beating. The moment he asked why that day, his face crumpled like a piece of paper in his fist. His breath started to hitch, as if he had been running.

“You said let’s have dinner together because it’s my birthday, you fucking bastard. If you had told me you were going to hang yourself tomorrow, I would have come home earlier. I would have gone before you died and strangled you with my own hands instead of a wire. Some bastards at least commit double suicide because they’re thinking of their children, but you…”

Cha Hongjo, stopping mid-curse, glared at the tombstone, catching his breath, then tilted the soju bottle. But nothing came out. He threw the empty bottle and picked up a new one. Twisting off the cap, he opened his mouth again.

“…It’s okay, Father.”

Cha Hongjo, gulping down the soju and wiping his mouth, suddenly murmured calmly.

“I’ll never die like you.”

The cold wind didn’t stop, and the branches and weeds continued to whisper.

“I used to think that way. But we must be alike. These days, I keep thinking I should die. It’s hard waiting to die… I think I understand why you died.”

Rustle, rustle…

“…Someone…”

Cha Hongjo wrinkled the bridge of his nose, reddened by the alcohol and the cold. His eyes, fixed fiercely on the tombstone, contorted.

“There’s someone who…”

As tears welled up in his narrowed eyes, Cha Hongjo lowered his head.

“…says they like me. They said they like me even if I die, and I told them not to… And…”

His voice softened, as if sharing a secret.

“…I think… I like him too.”

His voice, as soft as a breath, trembled faintly.

“If I say that…”

His clenched fists trembled as if enduring something.

“…will he leave me?”

Now there was no one to talk to. It was purely a soliloquy.

“Mother left Father, left me, and Father left women. The person Father brought last… that person left Father too. And then, Father, Father again, left me…”

His sobs were clearer than his words.

“So, Go Baekwoo will leave me too… someday…”

Finally, Cha Hongjo collapsed onto the ground, clutching the grass and sobbing.

“I… I have to… leave him… first…”

It seemed the only way to do that was to die. He envied the corpses pressed down by the earth. Because they would never leave, nor be left behind.

As if to cover his secret lament, the sound of leaves and branches rustling grew louder. Rustle, rustle. Even though there was no wind. The eerie noise continued as if a wild animal lurked somewhere in the forest, and eyes watching Cha Hongjo appeared and disappeared behind the branches. Cha Hongjo didn’t notice the gaze, lost in his sobs.

“…….”

Park Solchan, hidden in the bushes, hesitated, repeatedly taking a step forward, then back. Whether or not he should reveal himself.

He had only followed Go Baekwoo as instructed, but he had unintentionally overheard things he shouldn’t have. He wondered if he should remain hidden, but he also felt it wasn’t right to leave Cha Hongjo alone like this. He was in a dilemma. He should have stayed put in the parking lot, even if it meant getting scolded, and escorted Cha Hongjo home.

A few hours ago, Park Solchan had paced the street, clutching the bills Cha Hongjo had given him. Several taxis had passed by during that time.

Cha Hongjo wasn’t a child, and he wanted to respect his privacy, but his conscience pricked him at the thought of simply accepting the taxi fare and neglecting his duties because of CEO Go’s order.

Both Manager Kim and CEO Go cherished Cha Hongjo, the star the company was currently investing the most in. Moreover, CEO Go had specifically instructed him to report everything that happened to Cha Hongjo, without exception. But if something were to happen after he had left Cha Hongjo, who wasn’t in good condition, alone…

Park Solchan eventually found himself in a phone booth before a taxi. He inserted coins and hurriedly dialed the CEO’s office number.

‘It’s Park Solchan…’

As soon as the call connected and he stated his name, CEO Go groaned as if sensing trouble.

As soon as he confessed that Cha Hongjo had driven off alone, CEO Go’s voice dropped heavily. This reaction was more frightening than a furious outburst. I’m going to get scolded. Park Solchan squeezed his eyes shut.

—Follow him.

‘…Yes?’

—Is the car out or not?

Park Solchan opened his eyes and looked around the studio and its surroundings.

‘It doesn’t seem to be out yet.’

—Get a taxi and wait, then follow him. See where he goes and call me.

‘Yes, yes…!’

Park Solchan nodded vigorously as if CEO Go was right in front of him.

—…And.

‘Yes? Yes, CEO.’

—Don’t let Cha Hongjo know.

He wasn’t confident in tailing someone, but he answered in the affirmative. And somehow, he managed to follow Cha Hongjo all the way to this remote mountain village. He had even borrowed the phone at the small store Cha Hongjo had stopped by to report to CEO Go. CEO Go had simply said, “Alright,” his voice sounding as if he were chewing on something.

As his worries piled up, the wailing subsided.

Park Solchan hoped Actor Cha would come to his senses and safely descend the mountain. It was dark, and branches obscured his view, so he couldn’t see clearly, but it seemed he had been drinking, so he shouldn’t be driving. At this rate, he would have to reveal that he had followed him. CEO Go was a problem, and Actor Cha was a problem. There’s going to be trouble. Moreover, hearing Actor Cha’s monologue, the relationship between the two…

No, that wasn’t his business. His head throbbed. His salary was absurdly high for a manager, so there was a reason, after all.

Cha Hongjo, who had been prostrated as if performing a ritual, finally raised himself after a long while. He was no longer crying, and his lips were closed. His cheeks, streaked with dried tears, felt tight, and his eyes were dry. That was the only evidence of his scream-like confession.

Just as his father hadn’t said goodbye when he left. Cha Hongjo, without a word, turned his back on the grave. The wind patted his back, as if urging him to leave quickly. Cha Hongjo started walking without looking back. The reunion after three years ended so dryly.

His legs, which had been bent for a long time, felt slightly numb, and the alcohol coursed through his limbs, but he had no trouble retracing his steps. The weeds, already trampled by the uninvited guest, posed no further obstacle. However, with only the starlight to illuminate his path, it was difficult to see even a step ahead. It was unlikely in this rough mountain terrain, but even if there were a cliff right in front of him, he wouldn’t know. Cha Hongjo descended, suddenly imagining the feeling of falling off a cliff. Of course, there was no cliff, and he soon left the mountain.

Behind him, Park Solchan stopped at the foot of the mountain and waited until Cha Hongjo was a little further away. He had to keep his distance, as even the slightest sound or faint presence could give him away. The village, populated only by elderly people who went to bed by nine, was deathly quiet. Because it was winter, not even insects chirped.

Contrary to Park Solchan’s expectation that he would return to where the car was parked, Cha Hongjo headed in a completely different direction. Did he have relatives living in this remote mountain village? It was plausible, considering his family’s graves were here. It was certainly better to stay somewhere overnight and leave the next day than to drive under the influence. Breathing a sigh of relief, Park Solchan followed the lone shadow in the night.

About ten minutes passed.

Cha Hongjo stopped in front of a rusty iron gate with peeling blue paint. There was only one streetlight nearby, so he couldn’t clearly see the condition or shape of the house.

Then, creak—, a noise that grated against the silence echoed. It was the sound of the old gate opening. Cha Hongjo disappeared inside.

Park Solchan, hovering nearby, decided he should contact CEO Go first. However, there was no way a public phone would exist in this village, and it was unlikely the small store he had borrowed the phone from earlier would still be open.

“Ugh…”

What should I do? He groaned and wiped his face, when the gas station he had seen just before entering the village flashed across his mind.

Park Solchan ran, hoping Actor Cha wouldn’t change his mind and come out before he reached the gas station. As he ran—

“Huh?”

He noticed another car parked next to Actor Cha’s. He wasn’t sure at first, but he recognized the license plate immediately. The figure sitting in the driver’s seat also seemed to recognize him and flung the door open. He ran towards him again.

“…C, CEO.”

He had asked the store owner for the address to relay to CEO Go, but he hadn’t expected CEO Go to actually come here. He had thought there was no need for him to come since he was following Cha Hongjo.

“How did you get here?”

“Where’s Cha Hongjo?”

Go Baekwoo asked Park Solchan, skipping the greetings.

“Ah, Actor Cha is…”

Perhaps it was because he had overheard Cha Hongjo’s private monologue. Park Solchan felt awkward looking CEO Go in the eye.

Park Solchan rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand and then pointed behind him.

“If you go down that road for about two or three minutes, there’s a house with a blue gate on the right…”

“Is he there?”

Park Solchan quickly shook his head before answering.

“Yes, yes.”

Go Baekwoo glanced at a leaf stuck to the top of Park Solchan’s head and then patted his heaving shoulders.

“Alright. You can go now, Solchan.”

“…Alright. Ah, uh, but… the car key…”

The car key was with Cha Hongjo.

Go Baekwoo, understanding without hearing the rest, quickly pulled out his own car key from his pocket and handed it to Park Solchan.

“Use my car.”

“Ah, thank you. Then, CEO…”

“I have this.”

Go Baekwoo gestured towards Cha Hongjo’s car.

“Ah, right, of course… I apologize. I’m a bit… out of it.”

“Cha Hongjo.”

Go Baekwoo wasn’t interested in whether the other person was rambling or not.

“What was he doing?”

He was only curious about what Cha Hongjo had been doing after coming to this remote place he had never heard of.

“Hongjo, that is…”

Park Solchan seemed to have been asked a difficult question. Go Baekwoo furrowed his brow.

“Was he with a woman?”

“No, no!”

Park Solchan waved his hands frantically.

“He was alone the whole time. On that mountain over there…”

Go Baekwoo turned his head towards where Park Solchan had gestured. The mountain. It was an unusual place for Cha Hongjo to be. This entire village was, for that matter.

“…There was a grave.”

Park Solchan busily calculated what he should and shouldn’t say.

“A grave?”

“Yes, it seemed to be… his father’s grave. I heard him call out ‘Father.’”

CEO Go jerked his chin once as if prompting him to continue. Park Solchan repeated to himself, ‘Don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong.’ If it was something he would find out soon anyway, it would be revealed without him having to say anything. Interfering in personal matters usually led to trouble. Just say what he ‘saw.’ Only what he ‘saw.’

“And… he stayed there the whole time, drinking a bit…”

“What was he talking about?”

“…It just seemed like a visit to a grave.”

He ‘had’ been talking, but since he didn’t say he ‘hadn’t,’ it wasn’t a lie. He had just omitted it. Park Solchan rationalized and avoided his boss’s gaze.

“…You’ve worked hard. Go on now.”

“Yes… uh, I’ll wait in Seoul.”

There was nothing to wait for, as his schedule was empty for the time being. Go Baekwoo waved his hand dismissively at Park Solchan, who was fidgeting like a dog that needed to relieve itself.

“Ah! CEO, where should I leave the car?”

“I’ll contact you, so bring it then.”

“Alright. Then, CEO… please rest.”

Park Solchan bowed deeply and got into the car.

Soon, the black sedan sped away into the darkness, crunching gravel under its tires.

“…….”

Go Baekwoo put a cigarette in his mouth, staring in the direction Park Solchan had pointed.

Right after hearing that Cha Hongjo had driven off alone, he had only intended to receive a report from Park Solchan. But the longer he waited, the more anxious he became, so he had eventually rushed out. It was a good thing he came himself. If he had heard from Park Solchan, back in Seoul, that ‘Cha Hongjo had gone to the countryside to visit a grave,’ he wouldn’t have believed it.

That was because, from a certain point, Cha Hongjo had stopped seeing women. He wasn’t sleeping with men either, as he had done with him. He had instructed Park Solchan to report any ‘romantic involvements’ so the company could prepare for potential scandals, and Cha Hongjo always went straight home after his schedules without any personal time, so he had been certain. But suddenly, he had gone somewhere alone, leaving his manager behind, so he thought, his habits haven’t changed, the time has come.

Driving towards the mountain village, a place he would never have visited if it weren’t for Cha Hongjo, Go Baekwoo was plagued by unpleasant imaginations and dirty suspicions. He felt disgusted by his arrogance and pettiness in judging Cha Hongjo before confirming the truth. The distrust born from love reeked.

Despite the torment, the disgust, the regret. He loved him, helplessly.

Go Baekwoo set out to find the blue gate.

🔥

The house, his grandparents’ and father’s birthplace, was the same as he remembered, except that it was even more dilapidated. The yard and exterior were unkempt, but the interior was surprisingly clean, as if it had been regularly cleaned. Since there wasn’t much to do in this village, someone could have been coming and going, sweeping and cleaning. But it was unexpected that the electricity and water were still working. It meant someone was paying the bills to keep the utilities running in the empty house.

This house had belonged to his grandfather until he died, and then it had been inherited by his father. After his father’s death, the only person to inherit it was his aunt, but she had also passed away. Then who was the current owner? His uncle? Anyway, whoever it was, they weren’t just abandoning it.

Cha Hongjo, after looking around inside, plopped down on the porch littered with fallen leaves. Staring blankly at the yard where the grass had withered, he put a cigarette in his mouth and thought. I should buy this house. Buy it and…

He had just lit the tip of the cigarette when a long shadow suddenly crossed the front yard, accompanied by the sound of footsteps. He had only seen the tips of the shoes, but Cha Hongjo immediately recognized the uninvited guest.

“…….”

“…….”

The moment he raised his gaze to meet Go Baekwoo’s, his throat constricted. He choked on the cigarette smoke he had been inhaling. A cough erupted. He covered his mouth and bent over, coughing, when he heard the sound of hurried footsteps approaching.

“Cha Hongjo!”