Spark Chapter 4.1 - Red Sea

Cha Hongjo cried until his face was numb, then he drooped like a dehydrated plant. Go Baekwoo gently stroked Cha Hongjo’s back, and when he didn’t move, he laid him down on the sofa. Cha Hongjo was asleep. After crying so much, it was natural that he would be exhausted enough to fall asleep immediately.

Sleep well, Hongjo. Go Baekwoo whispered in his heart and kissed Cha Hongjo’s forehead. He also gently kissed his nose and lips. It was a secret kiss, so it felt different from a real kiss. It felt like a youthful scent lingered on his lips after brushing against Cha Hongjo’s.

Go Baekwoo fiddled with the lips that didn’t seem to belong to him and traced all of Cha Hongjo’s lines and planes with his eyes. It wasn’t easy to trace the features of a man who could be called the epitome of handsome. The straight parts were as straight as if they were measured with a ruler, and the curved parts were as delicate as if they were depicted with a fine brush.

Eventually, Go Baekwoo gave up tracing and decided to absorb Cha Hongjo’s colors. The parts tinged with red from crying for so long and the original pale skin tone. Blue veins running across his snow-like skin… This must be how it feels to be moved by an obscure abstract painting with uncertain origins.

I want to kiss him again. As soon as the impulse stirred, Go Baekwoo brought his lips down to Cha Hongjo’s. Their noses touched. At the same time, Go Baekwoo lowered his eyelids, and Cha Hongjo raised his eyelashes.

A breath, lighter and more secretive than a whisper, grazed lightly. Cha Hongjo, opening his lips, grabbed Go Baekwoo’s nape and pulled him closer. Go Baekwoo, who thought Cha Hongjo was asleep, was momentarily surprised but didn’t hesitate and was drawn in. Cha Hongjo’s mouth, which seemed to have lost all its moisture from crying, was damp and hot. While his cheeks and hands and feet were cold, his insides were this hot.

They kissed until their touching noses bent, and Cha Hongjo was the first to reach for Go Baekwoo’s shirt. Skilled at undressing any clothes, Cha Hongjo unbuttoned them easily as if he had cast a spell.

Go Baekwoo’s smooth skin, like his neatly ironed shirt, and his firm torso were revealed. Now it was Go Baekwoo’s turn. He undressed Cha Hongjo. The top was thrown onto the table, and the bottoms fell to the floor, still belted.

The two men were naked.

Cha Hongjo stroked Go Baekwoo’s firm chest with his palm and met his eyes. Go Baekwoo gripped Cha Hongjo’s shoulder tightly with his right hand, then touched his forearm and lowered his head. Cha Hongjo abruptly turned his face toward the back of the sofa. Go Baekwoo bit the jawline that became even more prominent, and gently kissed the long neck where the muscles ran obliquely, lowering his body. At the same time, Cha Hongjo’s shoulders were grabbed and pressed down.

Cha Hongjo spread his legs, which Go Baekwoo’s knees had wedged between. It was a wide sofa, but too narrow to roll around on. His left leg fell off the side. Go Baekwoo grabbed his other leg at the calf and placed it on top of the back of the sofa. The lips that had traveled across Cha Hongjo’s neck and chest lingered on his waist, leaving marks on his skin.

“…Ah.”

When Go Baekwoo deliberately bit above his ribs with his canine, Cha Hongjo, who had only been breathing, groaned briefly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. At that moment, Go Baekwoo raised his eyes to see Cha Hongjo’s expression and licked between the abdominal muscles etched on his slender stomach, moving further down. When he finally licked his pelvis deeply with his tongue, the abdomen beneath his palm twitched.

“It tickles.”

Cha Hongjo murmured with his lips shaped as if he were laughing and crying at the same time. Go Baekwoo kissed the protruding pelvis and said,

“Enjoy it when it tickles.”

“Words, fuck.”

Cha Hongjo added a faint laugh to the end of his sentence, and suddenly.

“You try it too.”

He abruptly sat up, pushed Go Baekwoo’s shoulders, and laid him down. Before he could do anything, Go Baekwoo laughed as if he had become a fun playmate.

“What, tickle me?”

“…….”

When Cha Hongjo saw his pretty smile, he wanted to see Go Baekwoo embarrassed. As soon as desire arose, he straddled Go Baekwoo’s thighs. Looking down, he saw the erect penis rising above the vertically elongated navel.

“You have a pretty navel too.”

Cha Hongjo muttered, grasping the shaft of Go Baekwoo’s penis.

“Ah.”

“Your dick is pretty too.”

“Hongjo.”

“You’re so disobedient.”

“Ha, you’re gripping it too hard….”

“Punishment for being disobedient, trusting in your prettiness.”

“Ah, really… it’s punishment.”

Go Baekwoo frowned, his eyes narrowing, and lifted his chin. Cha Hongjo liked that expression very much.

“But… it’s so pretty, I want to give you a reward too.”

Cha Hongjo muttered slowly and gradually loosened his grip. Then, the weight pressing down on his thighs disappeared. Go Baekwoo swallowed dryly and opened his narrowed eyes properly. Cha Hongjo, who had been on top of him, was gone. He sensed his presence nearby. Another mood swing? He quickly sat up and looked towards where Cha Hongjo was.

“Cha Hongjo.”

Cha Hongjo was kneeling on the floor, staring at Go Baekwoo, who was looking down at him with bewildered eyes. His black pupils were even darker with the shadow of the other man.

“….What are you doing?”

“Giving you a reward.”

Cha Hongjo, who had taken a step closer on his knees, grasped Go Baekwoo’s center again. This time, his touch was quite gentle.

“You don’t have to.”

However, Go Baekwoo, unable to erase his bewilderment, grabbed Cha Hongjo’s wrist and stopped him. Cha Hongjo brushed his hand away again.

“Hongjo.”

“Why, don’t you like it?”

“It’s not that I don’t like it….”

“Not?”

“…….”

It was difficult to give a reason easily. More precisely, he couldn’t reveal the reason. Go Baekwoo opened and closed his lips repeatedly. Cha Hongjo was offering to kneel in front of him and give him oral sex. Even just the look he was giving him from between his thighs was enough to bring him to climax….

“I think I’ll cum in one second.”

If he didn’t clearly state the reason for his refusal, it would be easy to be misunderstood. In the end, he spoke honestly. He said that if Cha Hongjo gave him oral sex, he thought he would cum in one second.

“Ah, so that’s why.”

Cha Hongjo’s first reaction was a dry laugh. It wasn’t a sneer, but it wasn’t without a sense of looking down on him.

“Cum in one second, makes it easy for both of us.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why?”

“It’s not cool.”

Go Baekwoo spoke quite seriously. This time Cha Hongjo raised his head and laughed. It was a laugh as if he was dumbfounded, a laugh made of a sigh.

“Being pretty is enough. What’s the point of being cool?”

“And you?”

It wasn’t entirely wrong since Cha Hongjo had been imprinted on Go Baekwoo’s consciousness as “pretty” from the beginning, but Go Baekwoo also had room for rebuttal.

“You make me hard just by breathing, so why bother sucking it?”

“Did you get hard every time I breathed?”

Asking, Cha Hongjo brought his face closer to the penis that was sticking out of his grip. His eyes were still locked with Go Baekwoo’s. Go Baekwoo wondered if this was how a monk felt when faced with a breathtaking beauty.

“Yeah, I want to lay you down every time I see you.”

“We can do it sitting down, even if you don’t lay me down.”

Cha Hongjo uttered the last word and opened his lips wider.

“Like this.”

And he wrapped his lips around the large, pink-flushed glans. Go Baekwoo reflexively grabbed Cha Hongjo’s shoulders and pretended to push him away. It was just a pretense. As soon as the warm and moist inside of Cha Hongjo’s mouth wrapped around the tip, his limbs lost their strength.

“Ah, Hongjo….”

“…….”

Cha Hongjo couldn’t answer, his mouth full. Go Baekwoo knew this, yet he still called his name. As Cha Hongjo’s tongue swept over the glans, his name was uttered involuntarily.

Lightly biting the tip and sweeping his tongue over the entire glans, Cha Hongjo tilted his head sharply towards his shoulder and rubbed it against the slippery mucous membrane of his inner mouth. He put strength into his widely opened lips so that the flesh would tighten pleasantly. Go Baekwoo’s eyes glazed over like a drunkard’s, and he kept bobbing his Adam’s apple.

Then, Cha Hongjo took the penis out of his mouth and slowly slid his lips and slightly protruding tongue from the tip to the base of the shaft, then back up. He changed the direction of his head and swept the other side in the same way. Then, he pushed the penis back into his mouth. At first, he had wrapped all five fingers around the shaft, but now he was only gripping the base with his index finger and thumb.

His lips, swollen from crying, slowly swallowed the large penis. Go Baekwoo lowered his gaze and stared at Cha Hongjo, who was no longer looking at him. Every time Cha Hongjo’s breath moistened him below, saliva pooled under his tongue. Was it because he remembered doing the same to him? Did Cha Hongjo, like him back then, feel the desire and excitement to do better?

“Cha Hongjo, ha… your, mouth.”

Go Baekwoo brought his hand to Cha Hongjo’s cheeks, which were hollow from sucking him so intensely.

“Doesn’t it hurt?”

He rubbed the corners of Cha Hongjo’s wide lips with his thumb and asked.

He was worried that they would tear. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for Go Baekwoo. There had been quite a few partners who willingly performed oral sex on him, but he often refused because he didn’t want to hurt them during an act meant to be pleasurable. But he couldn’t refuse Cha Hongjo. Considering that the person he wanted to protect most in his life was Cha Hongjo, it was quite a paradoxical situation.

“…….”

As if taking the question about pain as a provocation, Cha Hongjo narrowed his eyes and began moving his head faster than before. Since he wasn’t using his throat, Cha Hongjo’s lips only moved back and forth halfway up the penis, but the stimulation was sufficient. Go Baekwoo squeezed his eyes shut again, focusing on the corners of Cha Hongjo’s mouth, and swallowed his rising moans as if enduring them.

“Nn….”

“…….”

At that sight, Cha Hongjo criticized him inwardly. What’s wrong with making a little noise?

Unlike his partner, Cha Hongjo put strength into his lips, moving his head back and forth, left and right, deliberately making lewd noises, when he almost choked as Go Baekwoo bit his lower lip. He let out a small laugh because he found it cute. His restricted lips trembled slightly, and his tongue, pressed down by the heavy weight, wriggled.

Sharpening the tip of his tongue, Cha Hongjo traced the veins that bulged like bas-relief decorations on the shaft, very slowly, frustratingly slowly, pulling the penis out of his mouth. In the process, Go Baekwoo roughly grabbed his shoulders, in a gesture that could have been either discouraging or encouraging.

“….Fu, ha, haha….”

Suppressed breaths and laughter finally burst out. Cha Hongjo panted and burst into laughter, his lips slick with the fluids that had leaked from the bobbing penis in front of him and his own saliva.

His laughter wasn’t loud, but since it was the first time Go Baekwoo had seen him smile so brightly in reality and not on a screen, he was certain it was a burst of laughter. He didn’t know what part had made Cha Hongjo bloom with laughter, and he was curious, but whatever it was, that sight was truly…

“….What’s so funny?”

Beautiful.

It was a ridiculous situation to be overcome with an emotion similar to awe, but what could he do? Cha Hongjo was beautiful, so whatever the situation, it didn’t matter.

“Ah, fucking….”

Cha Hongjo, who had been chuckling with his forehead against Go Baekwoo’s knee, finally straightened his upper body and wiped his eyes.

“Our Baekwoo… huh? Wants to look cool, doesn’t he?”

His tone was like that of someone teasing a child.

“But what to do? Holding back your moans is cute. Not cool.”

“Ha, really….”

He was used to being complimented on his beauty, but the word “cute” was unfamiliar. While his face was undeniably pretty, his body was the kind that wouldn’t be out of place in the Olympic Village, so to be called cute… He let out a puff of air in disbelief. Anyway, Go Baekwoo’s lips curled up involuntarily at the sight of Cha Hongjo’s smiling face. Go Baekwoo grabbed Cha Hongjo’s arm and pulled him closer, saying,

“Everything’s funny to you. Come here.”

“I haven’t sucked you off all the way yet.”

“It’s okay to stop.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Go Baekwoo really didn’t seem to mind. Cha Hongjo, who had pressed his body against him, then straddled Go Baekwoo’s thighs without being told.

They were close, face to face. Go Baekwoo preferred this to either of them being on top or bottom. When his vision was filled with Cha Hongjo, he could see him no matter where he looked. As long as Cha Hongjo didn’t close his eyelids, they could meet gazes. If he tilted his chin just a little, their breaths would mingle…. He was so captivated that he tilted his head to kiss him, but…

Suddenly, Cha Hongjo stuck out his long tongue, licked Go Baekwoo’s upper lip, and widened the distance between their lips.

“Idiot.”

The word that flew out was harsh, but his expression looked innocent and pure.

“What, again.”

“I was going to drink your cum too, but you told me to stop.”

The next sentence that flowed out was also extremely vulgar, but that expression was overflowing with loveliness. So much so that Go Baekwoo felt he would willingly surrender himself even if Cha Hongjo were to run at him to kill him in this moment.

“Like it’s such a big deal.”

“That’s why you’re an idiot.”

“Look at you chattering….”

Impulsively, Go Baekwoo cupped Cha Hongjo’s cheeks.

“Just say you want to suck me off.”

“Mmm.”

It was like that time they sat on the veranda of that shabby house in the countryside. Even now, just like then, Cha Hongjo cursing with his lips pursed like a goldfish was truly adorable, and….

“Yeah, I fucking want to suck you off and drink your cum until I’m full.”

“Haa….”

He wondered if this was how Cha Hongjo felt when he said that simply holding back moans was cute.

“Why?”

In an atmosphere where multicolored soap bubbles seemed to pop one after another, Go Baekwoo, rekindling his smoldering greed, asked Cha Hongjo,

“Why did you want to do that?”

It was to hear the words he had always waited to hear from Cha Hongjo’s lips.

“Why, why did you want to suck me off and drink all my cum, why?”

He felt like he could hear it now. The sentence he had longed for. Or maybe a word. It didn’t matter if it was short or long-winded; he was prepared to memorize it.

I want you, he wanted to hear. That he wanted him so badly, both body and soul, that he wished to consume even his impure fluids.

Tell me. Tell me in your own way, however you want to say it. I’ll remember it forever, so confess it to me, just this once.

“Hongjo, huh? Why.”

The two hands that had been cupping Cha Hongjo’s cheeks slid down to his shoulders, then under his forearms. Go Baekwoo intertwined his fingers with Cha Hongjo’s hands. Cha Hongjo licked his lower lip, bending his fingers. It was a trivial gesture, but it was somehow clumsy, and his fingertips were trembling. It wasn’t like the usual nonchalant Cha Hongjo.

“Why? Just….”

It was around the time victory seemed close for Go Baekwoo.

“Because I was hungry.”

“…….”

“I was always hungry because I kept throwing it all away.”

Cha Hongjo unclasped one of their intertwined hands and fiddled with Go Baekwoo’s earlobe. Even such a trivial action seemed clumsy, and his fingertips were trembling. It wasn’t like the always nonchalant Cha Hongjo.

“But you told me not to throw anything away, so….”

“….So.”

“I tried to have what I wanted most first, and eat what I wanted to eat most first.”

Cha Hongjo.

“Until I threw up.”

Finally confessed.

The confession was akin to a filthy admission, but Go Baekwoo digested it without hesitation. He imprisoned every word and syllable constructed by Cha Hongjo’s voice in his mind. He had imagined this moment thousands, tens of thousands of times and vowed he would do so, so it wasn’t difficult.

“Cha Hongjo.”

“Yeah.”

“The first thing you want to have, and the last thing you want to have. It’s all me.”

“…….”

“You can’t help it, even if you hate it now.”

Cha Hongjo’s heart stormed at the threat-like words. Cha Hongjo collapsed helplessly.

“….Fuck it, whatever.”

He couldn’t help it even if he hated it. He liked it. The time had come to admit it. That he couldn’t help it because he liked it. That even if his body burned and his soul drowned, there was no way to escape because he loved him.

“Yeah, whatever. Absolutely.”

Go Baekwoo also overflowed endlessly.

He attacked Cha Hongjo’s lips without hesitation.

He stroked Cha Hongjo’s thighs, who was sitting astride him, from his knees down, stickily, and grasped his groin. At the same time, he parted their joined lips, kissed his cheek, and then brushed his jawline and neck with the bridge of his nose. When he finally moved his hand up and down Cha Hongjo’s penis, which was leaking pre-cum, Cha Hongjo tilted his head and upper body back with a gasp, “Ha…”, and reached back to grip Go Baekwoo’s knees.

“Should I do it with my mouth?”

Go Baekwoo, sucking on Cha Hongjo’s Adam’s apple so that it made a sound, rested his forehead lightly against it and asked in a whisper.

“It’s fine. Ah….”

Cha Hongjo answered, his eyes squeezing shut at the quickening movements.

The squelching sound from his pre-cum-wet palm and Cha Hongjo’s penis could be heard, the intervals between the sounds getting shorter and shorter.

Cha Hongjo, his lower abdomen hardening, his eyelids fluttering. He was on the verge of ejaculation. Go Baekwoo, who had skillfully noticed, stopped masturbating him. Cha Hongjo, his chest heaving, looked at him with reddened eyes. He was asking why he had stopped.

“Save your energy.”

Go Baekwoo gave his reason.

“Crazy.”

Cha Hongjo removed his sweat-dampened hand from Go Baekwoo’s knee and straightened his upper body. Then he got off Go Baekwoo and turned his back.

“Where are you going?”

Go Baekwoo hurriedly grabbed Cha Hongjo’s wrist. Cha Hongjo, having only turned his head, narrowed his eyes and twisted the corners of his lips as if displeased.

“Cigarette.”

“Smoke after we’re done.”

“Or we can do it while I smoke.”

Cha Hongjo grabbed the cigarette pack on the table, took out two cigarettes, lit one, and offered the other to Go Baekwoo. Go Baekwoo shook his head.

“It’s okay, you smoke.”

“Good.”

“…….”

It was the moment he lit the cigarette and exhaled the first puff. Go Baekwoo forcefully pulled Cha Hongjo’s arm and turned him around. Cha Hongjo, looking down at Go Baekwoo who remained in his position, took another drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke out while looking at Go Baekwoo’s desire-drained brown eyes. The spreading smoke covered his pretty face, and the last wisp crossed the bridge of Cha Hongjo’s nose before disappearing. That whole series of moments flowed by so quietly.

“I like it.”

“What?”

Cha Hongjo muttered, and Go Baekwoo asked back. The answer came immediately.

“That expression, like you’re only thinking about fucking my hole.”

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

Cha Hongjo blew smoke at that beautiful and lewd face once more.

“So fucking obscene.”

“So, how does it make you feel?”

“….Well, horny.”

He suddenly became curious. To whom, and how many times, had Go Baekwoo shown that face before?

“And shitty.”

“Why?”

“Why are you asking? It’s shitty because it’s shitty.”

Muttering as he flicked ash carelessly, Cha Hongjo went to the empty space next to Go Baekwoo. Then, he placed one knee, then the other on the sofa and spread his thighs. Resting his forearms on the back of the sofa, he leaned his face against the crook of his elbow and looked at Go Baekwoo. He blinked twice. Then he turned his head to the other side, took a drag of his cigarette with his other hand, and called out, “Pretty?”

“Go Baekwoo.”

His voice was muffled because his lips were buried against his skin.

“….Yeah.”

Go Baekwoo swallowed, his response a beat late, as he looked at Cha Hongjo, who was lying on the sofa, his back fully exposed. Then he heard a broken breath, a puff of laughter.

“Stick it.”

“…….”

Judging by the curve of his eyes peeking out above his pointed elbow, he seemed to be smiling.

“….In me.”

“From now on, only fuck me, since I’m only getting fucked by you,” is what he meant to say. Having finished his bundled-up words, Cha Hongjo finally lifted his chin from between his forearms. Only after confirming that Go Baekwoo was quietly getting up did he place his face back down. There was a white wall in front of him. Go Baekwoo, whiter than that, and tinged with pink, was behind him.

“Close your legs.”

“Ah.”

The flushed glans abruptly entered between his thighs. Cha Hongjo chewed on the cigarette filter he had just put in his mouth and awkwardly moved his knees to close his legs. He clearly felt the hard object trapped between his groin. He looked down. Below his own erect penis, there was another.

“I’ve never seen you work out….”

Go Baekwoo said, holding both sides of Cha Hongjo’s waist.

“Your thighs, they’re hard.”

“I am working out now… ah.”

Go Baekwoo, who had started moving his hips back and forth, slid his hand from Cha Hongjo’s right waist and squeezed his buttock tightly, hard enough to leave a mark.

“You can’t get this just from one day of working out.”

The hand that had been stroking his buttock moved down slightly. Cha Hongjo felt the sensation of his buttocks being spread apart and gripped the back of the sofa with both hands. The cigarette held between his right index and middle fingers was now short.

“I know from working out.”

“What kind of workout, this? Nn.”

Go Baekwoo pushed one buttock outwards and placed his thumb at the entrance of his hole and pressed down firmly. Cha Hongjo hadn’t slept with Go Baekwoo for a long time, so the feeling of being touched there felt unfamiliar. Even amidst this, Go Baekwoo continued his movements, skillfully rocking his hips back and forth.

“Boxing. I told you.”

“Ah…. Ah, yeah, that.”

He seemed to remember hearing it, and he seemed not to. Cha Hongjo was confused but pretended to know. What did it matter if Go Baekwoo boxed or not?

But on the other hand, he was curious. If Go Baekwoo, who wasn’t one to ramble on about trivial things, had mentioned it a couple of times, boxing must have been quite significant in his life. Did Go Baekwoo miss those days? Did he regret the present….

“….Haa….”

He was curious about another person’s past and present, which he had never even attempted to explore before. Cha Hongjo suddenly felt unfamiliar with himself, and at the same time that he murmured, “So fucking thick….”, the finger that penetrated him felt like someone else’s. It was indeed someone else’s hand since it wasn’t his own, but even though it wasn’t his first time being penetrated, the unfamiliar sensation twisted his waist.

“If your fingers are thick, how did you take it before?”

“Don’t… ah, don’t go in so deep.”

As if it were Go Baekwoo’s first time entering him.

“Slowly, okay?”

“I’m going slowly.”

“Not your dick, your fingers, nn!”

The fingertip that had been rubbing against his inner wall at the entrance suddenly thrust in. The large flesh was moving in and out between his groin, but it already felt like his insides were full. Like Go Baekwoo was fully inside him.

Go Baekwoo, being the one doing the penetrating, didn’t know how Cha Hongjo felt. So he was puzzled by Cha Hongjo’s reaction. Even though it had been a while, he wasn’t the type to make a fuss over one finger. But it didn’t seem like he was feigning sensitivity as a joke either.

“It’s too tight.”

While Cha Hongjo had lost weight, he hadn’t gotten smaller, yet the inside was unreasonably narrow. When was the last time he did this? How tight was it then? Anyway, it wasn’t tight enough to make one finger difficult.

“Relax a bit… try to bear with it.”

Go Baekwoo increased the speed of his hip movements, intending to use his cum after he ejaculated once. The repeated squelching sound echoed as their pre-cum-soaked skin rubbed together. The area where the hard penis was moving in and out was flushed red.

“Don’t, twist, your finger.”

Cha Hongjo, flinching at the persistent widening of his hole, also grasped his own penis, planning to use his cum. Even in this strange situation, his desire didn’t fade, and his swollen penis was bobbing on its own, leaking pre-cum. He coated the glans with the pre-cum as he rubbed it in a circular motion with his palm. From the beginning, he quickly stroked the entire length up and down. The squelching sound spread.

Both men’s breaths grew ragged.

“Haa, ah…!”

“Ha, nn….”

As they neared the peak, Cha Hongjo, who was shaking his penis more vigorously, came first. As he deliberately covered the glans with his palm to catch the semen, Go Baekwoo followed suit. Thick and copious semen splattered across the sofa. His thighs, glistening with sweat and reflecting the light, were also stained.

“Haa….”

Go Baekwoo caught his breath, calming his breathing after the afterglow of his orgasm. He slowly pulled his penis out from between Cha Hongjo’s quivering thighs. The tight, supple skin seemed to cling to his penis. But thanks to the fluids, he was able to pull it out smoothly.

“Hongjo, wait….”

It was just that some of the semen had gotten on Cha Hongjo’s leg because he hadn’t been able to cum when he intended. Go Baekwoo muttered as he gently pushed aside Cha Hongjo’s reddened groin where his mark remained, but Cha Hongjo twisted his body as if avoiding him and adjusted his position, then…

“Get lost.”

He touched his own hole, reddened from just one finger moving in and out.

“I’ll do it.”

“…….”

“….Ugh.”

Cha Hongjo pushed his finger into his hole, coated with his own semen. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as when Go Baekwoo touched him, but it was strangely unpleasant. He hadn’t enjoyed masturbating since he never lacked partners, but he had never dreamed he would touch himself like this.

“Ha… nn, uh.”

The entrance of his hole was tight, the inner walls warm, and as Go Baekwoo had said, tight. Cha Hongjo pushed his middle finger in up to the knuckle, rubbing and twisting it against the inner walls as if spreading the semen around. The mucous membrane became slippery, and the entrance that had been gripping his knuckle gradually softened.

Increasing the number of fingers to two, Cha Hongjo turned his head towards where he felt the blatant stare. Go Baekwoo, as if he had noticed, met his eyes. His face, which had been as white as a freshly bloomed magnolia, was now flushed red down to his neck.

“Baekwoo… you’re red, you, uh….”

The squelching sound mixed with his moan-filled voice. Gulp. Go Baekwoo swallowed audibly.

“Why, are you blushing, huh… ah, right.”

“It’s because of you… right now.”

“Why me… huh!”

Cha Hongjo, who had been speaking, suddenly lifted his face. The fingers that had been stirring inside his hole stopped at a certain point.

“I, ha….”

Cha Hongjo quickly looked back at Go Baekwoo and started moving his hand again, rubbing at the point where he had stopped.

“Why me…?”

Go Baekwoo crossed his arms as if to restrain himself from touching Cha Hongjo and alternately stared at the hole where long fingers were moving in and out, and the face with the deliberately suggestive smile. The hole had just swallowed a third finger.

“Are you asking because you don’t know?”

When asked back, Cha Hongjo lowered the arm he had placed on the back of the sofa. Looking at Go Baekwoo with eyes that seemed drugged, he put two fingers in his mouth. He sucked his fingers from base to tip, his red lips pursed.

“Cha Hongjo.”

The moment his fingertips left his lips, a wet, sticky sound reached his ears. It was the moment Go Baekwoo’s patience was completely exhausted.

“You’re crazy.”

He grabbed Cha Hongjo’s wrist, which was moving back and forth in front of his buttocks, and pulled. Even though his fingers were pulled out of his hole without warning, Cha Hongjo smiled as if amused. Go Baekwoo unconsciously clenched his teeth. The space between his flawless cheek and jaw hollowed. At the same time, he gripped Cha Hongjo’s waist as if to break it. With his other hand, he grabbed his stiffly erect penis and aligned the tip with the entrance of Cha Hongjo’s hole. Only then did Cha Hongjo’s secretive laughter cease.

“You think I can put up with all of this? You thought wrong.”

The blunt glans touched between his buttocks and rubbed up and down. Whenever the glans touched the entrance, Cha Hongjo tightened his fingertips as if bracing himself. However, despite his aggressive posture, Go Baekwoo didn’t push in right away, teasing him.

“Teasing me with something like this will only hurt you.”

Every time another person’s skin slid against his, his hole twitched. A sensation akin to a thrill already ran down his spine. Cha Hongjo trembled slightly, his body still prone.

“Go ahead, see what happens.”

“What hap— ah, ha!”

He winced at the pain of something splitting him open.

He wanted to tease Cha Hongjo because the expression on his face was like a boy watching a pornographic video for the first time, which he found cute. The timing wasn’t good. He should have teased him after he had gotten used to at least three fingers. Of course, three fingers or ten couldn’t compare to Go Baekwoo’s.

“Fuck, slowly….!”

“That’s what I said, it’ll only hurt you.”

Go Baekwoo gritted his teeth again and muttered.

Even being born from a silk thread and passing through the eye of a needle probably wouldn’t feel this constricting. He spoke nonchalantly, but it felt as if his lower half would be ripped apart. It wasn’t as bad as Cha Hongjo, but it was painful. He wondered why his insides were so tight when his physique wasn’t small.

“It’s like… ha… like the first time.”

“Huh, nn… It’s, fuck, worse, uh, than… the first time….”

He was trying his best to be considerate of Cha Hongjo’s situation, but he said it was “worse than the first time.” The problem was that even the vulgar expression didn’t make him angry. Go Baekwoo smiled faintly, his brow furrowed. He wondered what Cha Hongjo’s expression was like.

But since he had just entered, it was difficult to change positions. What should he do? With that thought, he continued moving his hips at a slow pace, gradually going deeper with time. It was quite troublesome to be mindful of Cha Hongjo’s body and move his hips at the same time. If it were up to him….

“Hongjo.”

“Nn, uh…. Yeah, what?”

“Should we… change positions? I want to do it while looking at your face.”

“Fuck… ah! Do you, want to see someone die…. huh, uh! Nn, just do it.”

It was a shame, but there was nothing he could do if Cha Hongjo was about to die.

“Okay, then….”

Go Baekwoo slightly changed the angle of his penis, which was now more than halfway inside, looking for a way to go deeper. The intestines were connected to the throat, so the concavely narrowing part couldn’t be the end.

“Let’s change after this time.”

“Ah, don’t… press there, it hurts….”

“It hurts?”

Even without seeing it with his own eyes, there was no way he wouldn’t know what he was poking inside. Go Baekwoo asked solicitously, but he didn’t hesitate in his actions. Until now, he had been content with just going in halfway, but he couldn’t keep doing that forever. Honestly, he was filled with the desire to touch every nook and cranny of Cha Hongjo’s body, anywhere he could reach. Places where no one else’s touch had been, only his. Places he should touch. Places he would touch.

“Does it only hurt?”

“Nn… not, really.”

“That’s good.”

Immediately, he pushed the tip into the narrow passage, which was like a closed mouth.

“But, huh, wait, ah!”

It felt like it wouldn’t go in, but once he pushed, the path opened. Cha Hongjo immediately trembled as if having a seizure, letting out a scream-like moan, but Go Baekwoo pretended not to hear it for now.

“Just bear with it….”

The tip of his penis, having invaded an unknown territory, collided with the inner wall, which felt particularly firm. Further in that place. Go Baekwoo pushed his hips forward.

“Ha! Ah! Fuck, you…! Ah, too much… how far….”

Cha Hongjo babbled in a tearful voice.

“I’m trying to put it all the way in.”

“It fucking hurts… sob… Go Baekwoo, you fucking bastard….”

“That’s right, I’m a fucking bastard.”

He had hurt Cha Hongjo with his selfishness before, and he was doing the same thing now. The difference was that in the past, it had been a mistake made out of ignorance, but now, it was an act committed despite knowing it was driven by greed. That’s how much he wanted to possess Cha Hongjo. Until now, he had held back, thinking Cha Hongjo wasn’t his, but the situation had changed.

“Ha, huh, this… crazy, fucker, sob!”

“Haa… I’m sorry for being a crazy fucker.”

While glossing over his wrongdoing with hypocritical apologies, Go Baekwoo forcefully shoved his penis all the way into Cha Hongjo, as if crumpling it inside.

“Ah, agh! Haa, huh… ugh….”

“Ha….”

His blood-engorged glans reached an even deeper place, forcibly unfolding the sharply angled part. Cha Hongjo trembled, breathing raggedly. He couldn’t see his face, but he was definitely crying. Go Baekwoo gently stroked his vibrating lower back as if comforting him, and called out, “Hongjo,” and whispered quietly, “Don’t cry…”, so that his beloved wouldn’t notice. At the same time, he smiled wickedly.

“My heart aches.”

Finally, he touched the place only he could touch.

“…….”

Cha Hongjo only let out occasional whimpers. Normally, he would be cursing, so it must really hurt. Go Baekwoo genuinely felt sorry, but he didn’t have even a grain of rice’s worth of intention to pull out now. Instead, he was busy making plans to leave his mark on the place he had just touched. The plan was simple. He moved.

“….Ah! Ugh! Haa! Huh…!”

As soon as he started moving his hips, Cha Hongjo shook his bowed head and cried out. Go Baekwoo was overcome with an excitement he had never felt before. He focused on the slick sensation of their skin colliding and sticking together, then separating. Before, even when he had sex with Cha Hongjo, they had only been connected, not completely joined. But this time, they were completely intertwined. He was immersed in ecstasy. The narrow, hot warmth spreading from between his legs reached his fingertips and toes. His blood rushed. His head tilted back involuntarily, and his eyelids fluttered. This must be what it feels like to be high on drugs.

“Haa… ha….”

“Huh, ugh… how far… ha, sob, how far in, are you…?”

He had expected Cha Hongjo’s first words to be a curse if he could speak now, but it was an unexpected question. To that, Go Baekwoo replied in a low voice that rippled like a pond, “This far,” and pressed on the area near Cha Hongjo’s navel. “Ah!” Cha Hongjo cried out, curling his fingers and toes, and murmured in a broken voice.

“You, huh, yours… is all the way in, huh? Ha, huh!”

Thwack, thwack, the friction sounds were as loud as his powerful thrusts. He barely understood Cha Hongjo’s words. “Yeah, all the way.” Go Baekwoo replied, putting his weight on Cha Hongjo and rotating his hips in a circular motion while pressed close.

“Then, uh… uh, huh… it’s okay….”

“…….”

Just in case. Cha Hongjo seemed to be in pain, but just in case, Go Baekwoo reached out towards Cha Hongjo’s front.

“Ah….”

Cha Hongjo was as hard as Go Baekwoo.

“You didn’t cum, did you?”

He was even leaking pre-cum like water. It seemed the reason his inner walls were constantly twitching wasn’t entirely due to pain.

“Leaking like water, ha… do you like it that much?”

“If it doesn’t, huh, huh, ugh! You should have, huh! Pulled out, earlier…”

Go Baekwoo was relieved and doubly excited. He felt like his eyes were rolling back.

“Alright then.”

The hips that had been moving in heavy circles suddenly thrust back, then plunged in as far as they had retreated.

“I love you, nn… Hongjo.”

“Ha! Ugh!”

A pattern of long withdrawals and swift thrusts repeated. Go Baekwoo’s brow furrowed deeper and deeper. The grip on Cha Hongjo’s waist grew tighter. Cha Hongjo’s uncontrolled moans grew louder.

“Aah! Ah, haa, uh, huh, ung!”

“Haa, ah…”

The rhythm of the repeated thrusting changed. Go Baekwoo lay down so his chest was against Cha Hongjo’s lower back and moved his lower body like a dog. His penis, having invaded the private parts where no one had ever entered, pounded relentlessly inside.

“Ha, Cha Hongjo, your voice…”

“Huh! Ha, sob, huh… ung, ah!”

Cha Hongjo sobbed helplessly, his back and insides being ravaged by Go Baekwoo. His throat felt raw, but the moans didn’t stop. He shuddered at his own rising, raspy voice. He wished it wasn’t his voice, but in reality, it probably was. He felt strange, as if thrown into the boundary between reality and unreality, and his body burned with passion. Go Baekwoo’s harsh breaths repeatedly stabbed at his ears. His ears tingled, the back of his neck stiffened, and he felt the urge to urinate. He wanted to cum.

“I want to cum, huh, I want to cum… huh!”

It was different from his usual urge to cum. When he had sex with Go Baekwoo, usually only semen came out the first time, and from the second time onwards, a fluid that wasn’t urine would burst out. That feeling… no, it was similar to that feeling, but different. Today, from beginning to end, it was different from usual. Was it because Go Baekwoo had changed? Wrong. Cha Hongjo realized that because he had changed, Go Baekwoo, the sex, and the sensations had also transformed.

“Today, nn, you’re impatient…”

Go Baekwoo licked Cha Hongjo’s earlobe, persistently targeting the angled part of his inner wall. It was because every time he touched that spot, Cha Hongjo would writhe noticeably.

“If you want to cum… cum.”

“Haa, aah, ah, haa, ah!”

As proof of that, he spilled his fluids earlier than usual.

“…Huh… nn… uh…”

The moans that seemed to shake the walls subsided quickly, and Cha Hongjo let out a sound like he was holding back sobs. His penis spouted clear fluid like a fountain in time with Go Baekwoo’s deep thrusts. Plop, plop… The expensive leather sofa was soaked, but no one cared.

“Cha Hongjo…”

Go Baekwoo deliberately pressed down heavily on Cha Hongjo’s pulsing lower back and kissed his slender, goosebump-covered nape. The thrusting continued. Then he slammed his own penis in roughly, with a splash, as deep as it could possibly go. And he put his tongue in Cha Hongjo’s ear and caressed it before whispering,

“You don’t know, how much of a, dirty bastard I am.”

“Haaa… huh…”

“I want to, drink everything, you spilled… right now.”

Cha Hongjo’s inner walls twitched as he convulsed. The inside was as tight as before. Go Baekwoo was also helplessly swept away by the urge to cum. His beautiful brow, far from showing any anguish, crumpled suddenly. His movements became immeasurably faster. Since the owner of the body was no longer in a mental state to control his strength, the force with which he hit the sensitive inner walls was brutal.

“St, ah, st… st… stop, stop, Go Baek, Go Baekwoo…!”

“Next, time, let’s change positions… haa… shall we do it like that?”

“Crazy, you’re, crazy! Ah! Ah, sob!”

“Huh? Can we do it? Hongjo, answer me. Ah…!”

“Crazy…! You’re crazy… uh… huh, me too…”

“…Haa, ha, ah…!”

The messy whispers ended without reaching a conclusion. Go Baekwoo simply moved his hips rapidly, like a beast born that way.

“Ah…!”

Finally, Go Baekwoo, his nose buried between Cha Hongjo’s nape and shoulder, came.

“Fu…”

“Huh… ugh…”

Cha Hongjo clearly felt the throbbing flesh inside him. It felt like his insides were turning over, then quickly melting. Cha Hongjo wanted what filled him to leave quickly, and he also wanted to be connected forever. Entangled in pain and pleasure, he didn’t know what he wanted to do. Tears streamed down his face, yet his lips curved into a smile. He really felt like he had gone crazy. He had lost it. Both of them, together.

Go Baekwoo quickly dismissed the afterglow of his orgasm. He couldn’t afford to be leisurely. He felt like he was living with a terminal illness, unsure of tomorrow.

“Again.”

He made Cha Hongjo turn over while still connected.

“Haa! Ah, ah…”

“…Hongjo, again.”

Now he could finally see Cha Hongjo’s face properly. Cha Hongjo was a mess. His features were all flushed red, swollen, and wet.

“Let’s do it.”

He looked like a rose drenched in the monsoon rain.

“Ha, you, you son of a bitch!”

Cha Hongjo swore in a hoarse voice with a disgusted expression. Go Baekwoo, on the other hand, laughed.

“We agreed to do it again while looking at each other’s faces.”

“…Fuuuck…”

The drawn-out curse was his utmost defense and refusal. Cha Hongjo couldn’t resist any further.

“It’s much better seeing your face, right?”

Looking directly at Go Baekwoo, he couldn’t push him away.

Go Baekwoo, with his sweat-drenched hair plastered to his forehead, his earlobes, the corners of his eyes, his cheeks, and lips all tinged with deep pink, looked like a cherry blossom.

Since a flower that had passed its blooming season and withered couldn’t be appreciated once that time had passed, Cha Hongjo willingly absorbed the desire Go Baekwoo offered. He became wet again.

🔥

“Shall we go on a trip?”

Go Baekwoo asked.

Twice on the sofa, twice more on the bed. After a total of four times, he had stopped Cha Hongjo from following him to the bathroom, saying they should wash together, and they had returned to bed, just before falling asleep.

“A trip?”

Cha Hongjo asked, turning from his position lying next to Go Baekwoo. His voice was as languid as Go Baekwoo’s, and hoarse like a singer who had overused his vocal cords.

Go Baekwoo, who had been lying there looking at Cha Hongjo, fiddled with his damp black hair, not stopping him.

“Yeah. Before your filming starts.”

“Filming… starts in three days.”

“An overnight trip, or a day trip if you’re tired.”

“…”

Cha Hongjo seemed to think for a moment, his eyes flickering upwards, then he looked back at Go Baekwoo.

“CEO, what about your work?”

“I’ll take a vacation day.”

“You’ll get fired for slacking off.”

“Parachutes don’t get fired.”

“Even if you don’t get fired, you’ll fall.”

“It’s not something I’ll do for the rest of my life anyway.”

How could he promise a lifetime? Cha Hongjo didn’t understand his assurance.

“Then, how long will you do it?”

“Until the day you quit acting.”

Once again, Go Baekwoo spoke in a tone that suggested a finalized plan.

“I told you I’m doing this because of you.”

“…Whatever.”

Cha Hongjo moved his lips, then swallowed the words he was about to say and racked his brain to change the subject.

Even if it was because of him, it was Go Baekwoo’s own choice. It was already in the past. No matter how capable someone was, they couldn’t foresee the future. It felt meaningless to say anything to Go Baekwoo.

Don’t decide anything because of me.

That’s what he actually wanted to say.

“…Okay. Let’s go on a trip.”

But this time, instead of pushing him away, he chose to hold his hand. It wasn’t a bad suggestion, both for Go Baekwoo and himself. It was better to rest well before filming started, but his next project was an independent film, so the filming period was short. Even if he didn’t put as much effort into managing his condition, it wouldn’t be too much of a strain.

“Really?”

Go Baekwoo, who had been resting his head on Cha Hongjo’s arm, lifted his head up abruptly.

“But a day trip.”

“Okay, okay.”

Go Baekwoo smiled like a child who had received a long-awaited gift. Cha Hongjo, watching him, unconsciously lifted the corners of his lips. He couldn’t help but smile along.

“Where to? Where do you want to go?”

Could he be any happier?

Go Baekwoo, who had lowered his raised head again, seemed outwardly calm, but his brown eyes, like a young animal’s, sparkled like a sky filled with a meteor shower.

“Anywhere.”

“Not anywhere, where do you want to go?”

“…”

He had thought about wanting to get away, but he had never envisioned a specific place. Cha Hongjo repeated, “Anywhere.” He was sincere, but Go Baekwoo didn’t seem to believe him.

“There’s nowhere you’ve ever wanted to go?”

“No.”

After repeating similar questions and answers a few times, Go Baekwoo finally accepted that Cha Hongjo really didn’t have any preferred travel destinations. That meant he had to choose, but neither of them had any particular place in mind. Traveling was unfamiliar to both Cha Hongjo and Go Baekwoo. Their lives weren’t calm enough to dream of leisure. Their lives were filled with countless things rushing at them every day. Short, but tiring.

“I don’t have anywhere either, what should we do?”

“Decide yourself.”

He wanted to decide together. But Go Baekwoo couldn’t continue speaking as he saw Cha Hongjo’s eyelids drooping with fatigue. Sure enough, before long, Cha Hongjo closed his eyes and began breathing evenly. From living practically together, he knew Cha Hongjo couldn’t sleep well without alcohol. He must have been quite tired today. It was hypocritical, but he felt vaguely sorry, and also happy.

“Sleep well, Hongjo.”

Go Baekwoo whispered faintly, so only he could hear, and gently stroked Cha Hongjo’s shoulder. Sleepiness washed over him too, but he didn’t think he’d be able to fall asleep easily today. Because this time, lying face to face with Cha Hongjo, was precious and joyful.

Anyway, where should they go? With Cha Hongjo, even a ditch would probably be enjoyable. Even if they fell into a dung pit, it would feel fragrant, and even if they jumped into a war zone, laughter wouldn’t cease. But he couldn’t take Cha Hongjo to a smelly place, so he had to think about it, even if it meant staying up all night. The exciting imagination easily dispelled his fatigue.

It was a couple of hours after sunrise.

Having decided to go to the nearest sea from Seoul, Go Baekwoo waited patiently for Cha Hongjo to wake up. He wanted to tell Cha Hongjo about his exciting plan as soon as possible, pack a simple bag, and run out of the house, but seeing Cha Hongjo sleeping like that, he couldn’t bring himself to wake him.

If the Cha Hongjo he first met was like a brilliant firework that captivated him at first sight, now he was like a cluster of small sparks. Crackling sparks born from burning firewood. Small and quickly disappearing, but reborn again to decorate the air.

Go Baekwoo absorbed every small, lovely scene of Cha Hongjo with his eyes and stored them in his heart.

Even though he hadn’t slept, just a few hours ago felt like a dream.

No matter how much he chased after him, Cha Hongjo only grew more distant. Just when he thought he had finally caught him, Cha Hongjo would tear himself away. He acted coldly, as if no one was allowed to touch him carelessly. He didn’t know if it was out of pity that he sometimes showed a bit of kindness… and because of that, he sometimes mistakenly, or confidently, believed that Cha Hongjo also harbored some kind of feelings for him.

It felt like he had longed for Cha Hongjo for eons. He had wished and wished for a time like this to come, but on the other hand, he had despaired, anticipating that his one-sided love would never be fulfilled. He hated himself for yearning for Cha Hongjo, and he cursed the world for showing him something he couldn’t have. He regretted the days when he recklessly nurtured the fire in his heart, which had suddenly been ignited, instead of stomping it out. But, in any case.

‘Why, do you make it… so I can’t… leave you first…’

The delusion was a certainty.

‘But you told me not to throw anything away, so… I tried to have what I wanted most first, and eat what I wanted to eat most first. Until I threw up.’

His greed wasn’t his alone, and his loneliness wasn’t solely his. Their hearts were connected. Fire doesn’t ignite on its own.

Once, Go Baekwoo considered himself one of the many insects swarming around Cha Hongjo. He was wrong. Go Baekwoo decided to allow himself some conceit this time. He was Cha Hongjo’s kindling.

‘The first thing you want to have, and the last thing you want to have. It’s all me. You can’t help it, even if you hate it now.’

‘…Fuck it, whatever.’

He was happy enough that it didn’t matter even if he burned up, broke apart, and eventually scattered into dust. Because for Cha Hongjo, even death would be a gift, not a sacrifice.

🔥

Cha Hongjo’s lower lip had split, and blood was trickling out. Instead of nagging, Go Baekwoo put his hand to Cha Hongjo’s lips to prevent him from biting it and found a tissue to wipe away the blood. Then, even while driving, he continued to stroke Cha Hongjo’s back.

It’s okay. Even with the comfort that seeped into his skin before words, Cha Hongjo didn’t regain his color. Unable to bite his lip, his thumb went between his teeth involuntarily. He started biting his nail, and Go Baekwoo quickly stopped him from doing that too.

Contrary to his restless feelings, the car moved as slowly as it could on the congested road. Seoji-dong was often congested even outside of rush hour, but today it was worse than usual. As if to mock Cha Hongjo’s urgency.

Go Baekwoo tried to reassure the anxious Cha Hongjo, recalling the situation from a short while ago.

It was three hours before the afternoon. The phone rang. Cha Hongjo woke up at the loud sound. Go Baekwoo tucked him back in, signaling for him to sleep more if he was tired, and left the bedroom.

— CEO, this is Kim Jihye.

The caller was Kim Jihye. She was formerly Secretary Kim Yongmin’s assistant, and now she worked as his assistant. Go Baekwoo clearly conveyed his intention to hear only the essentials and hang up, and Secretary Kim, in a slightly troubled tone, brought up the main point.

It was a voice unlike his usual self, someone who had worked in the entertainment industry for three years, where all sorts of incidents occurred, and who wasn’t easily shaken.

— I’m calling to relay a couple of messages. Two, in fact.

‘Where are they from?’

— One is from Mrs. Jo Hyekyung…

Again. Mrs. Jo Hyekyung of the Daehan Ilbo hadn’t been able to let go of Cha Hongjo since <Chronicle of Youth>.

Rumor had it that Mrs. Jo’s husband, weary of his wife’s affairs with men, had given her a final warning to “behave herself.” Perhaps because of that, Mrs. Jo hadn’t approached Cha Hongjo directly, but she contacted the company from time to time, met with Manager Kim, and interfered with everything from choosing his next project to advertising contracts. It was something that made Go Baekwoo more than annoyed; it made him angry.

‘Relay the message as before. You can leave it to Manager Kim. And the other message?’

— Alright, CEO. The other one… well…

Secretary Kim cleared her throat and continued.

— Someone claiming to be Cha Hongjo’s mother… I told her I’d confirm and call back. Manager Kim also said he didn’t know much about Cha Hongjo’s personal life, so I first contacted you…

‘Wait, hold on.’

Go Baekwoo looked back towards the quiet bedroom.

‘…I’ll call you back.’

— Yes, CEO.

He went back to the bedroom and told Cha Hongjo the news. Cha Hongjo had an expression as if he hadn’t heard anything. After a while, as he didn’t move a muscle, Go Baekwoo felt a silence as if the world had stopped and waited and waited for Cha Hongjo to speak.

Cha Hongjo, who had been frozen like a statue for a long time, silently lifted the covers and sat up. The moment he put his legs over the side of the bed and his feet on the floor, he jerked his chin at Go Baekwoo.

‘Call her back.’

He didn’t hear the details afterward, but the woman who had appeared claiming to be Cha Hongjo’s mother was waiting at the company, and Cha Hongjo decided to go to the company with Go Baekwoo.

The plan to go to the sea was naturally disrupted. But Go Baekwoo was certain that there would be plenty of time to spend with Cha Hongjo in the future, so he tried not to be impatient. This matter was probably more important than a trip anyway.

“Shall we go in directly? Or should I go and see first, and you rest in the car for a bit?”

Go Baekwoo asked after parking the car in the parking lot. Cha Hongjo looked down at his knees in silence before speaking.

“…Five minutes.”

“Okay, let’s do that. Then shall we go up together?”

Cha Hongjo hesitated again before answering.

“…Yeah.”

Just five minutes. He would think it over and decide whether to go back home or meet that woman, even though he had come this far.

His clenched fist was damp with cold sweat without him realizing it. Cha Hongjo repeatedly opened and closed his hand, staring at his thumbnail, half-chewed on the way here…

‘Has it been three or four years, less or more… anyway, I came after your father’s funeral. I had no face to see you. I’ve been going in and out of the empty house, cleaning and taking care of it, as a way to atone for my sins.’

‘So, who?’

‘Kyunghee.’

…Really.

‘Your mother.’

Was it that woman?

The woman who left when he was much younger, the woman who didn’t even show her face at his father’s funeral, only leaving condolence money.

‘I wish I could just sell you off! Then at least you’d be worth something, I gave birth to trash. Just die somewhere I can’t see you! Huh? Please…!’

The mother who countless times strangled him, leaving visible marks.

Part of him thought the woman waiting inside the gray building couldn’t be his mother, but another part instinctively felt that it was definitely her. Because the pain of being choked by those sharp hands came rushing back, making his throat throb.

Why—!

As soon as he screamed the single-word question inwardly, the given time was up. It was five minutes that felt like an eternity. Cha Hongjo opened the car door with the hand he had been clenching and unclenching and looked at Go Baekwoo.

“…Let’s go.”

Walking into hell would probably feel better than this. His heart screamed.

He walked through the parking lot and pressed the elevator button. The elevator, which had been stopped on the 3rd floor, soon descended and opened its doors. He stepped inside. The doors closed, creating a sealed space. From that moment, he was gripped by a fear as if he were alone, suspended in the air, forgetting even Go Baekwoo beside him. He was cold.

Why had she come looking for him?

The owner of the small store had said Lee Kyunghee wanted to atone for her sins, but he didn’t believe it. His mother wasn’t the kind of person to atone, let alone show a shred of remorse. People don’t change. They say people change only when they’re about to die. He agreed. Hadn’t he experienced it himself? His father, who had never celebrated his son’s birthday in his entire life, had made a promise to have dinner together to celebrate his son’s birthday, and then committed suicide on that very day.