Spark Chapter 4.3 - Red Sea

Go Baekwoo, despite being the CEO, held little interest in the company itself unless it concerned Cha Hongjo’s work. Today, as he was about to pass by indifferently, he reflexively glanced at the building and his eyes widened.

“Hongjo.”

The car slowed down.

“Over there… Isn’t that your mother?”

Cha Hongjo, who had been staring meaninglessly out the opposite window, belatedly turned his gaze towards the company building.

“…….”

Right, it’s Mom.

“What do you want to do?”

Go Baekwoo stopped the car.

“……Well.”

He was asking whether to pretend they hadn’t seen her and pass by.

Cha Hongjo, staring at his mother lingering at the building entrance, took out a cigarette. Go Baekwoo also received one from Cha Hongjo. The car remained sealed, as opening the heavily tinted windows risked being seen by her. Acrid smoke filled the small space.

Halfway through their cigarettes, Cha Hongjo unbuckled his seatbelt. Seeing this, Go Baekwoo turned off the car. Cha Hongjo opened the car door and stepped outside. Immediately, his eyes met his mother’s. An unpleasant pull. Yet, as with blood ties, he was inevitably drawn to her.

Lee Gyeonghee walked quickly, looking back and forth between her son and the man who got out of the car with him. At the same time, she thought, they must be quite close to the CEO. She heard he was on set, but for them to come and go together suggested a special bond.

“Hongjo.”

Her thick skin remained uncracked even when she was scheming. Lee Gyeonghee put on an awkward smile, mimicking an innocent mother.

“Where have you been?”

“…….”

Even if she caused harm to Cha Hongjo, a mother was still a mother. Go Baekwoo tried to greet her, but the timing was off. After an awkward exchange of glances, Lee Gyeonghee asked her son. Cha Hongjo removed the cigarette filter he was biting from his lips.

“Filming.”

“Oh, I see… Did it go, well?”

“So, so.”

Cha Hongjo responded to Lee Gyeonghee’s question with an expression that suggested he had been asked something trivial. His tone was subtly aggressive.

“Why are you here?”

Having to ask his mother the purpose of her visit. It wasn’t particularly pleasant for Cha Hongjo, but what could he do? The stains of the past and the messy threads of time had made it so.

“……I missed you…….”

Lee Gyeonghee mumbled, her gaze lowered to her son’s feet, then quickly lifted her head. At the same time, she extended her arm. In her hand was something wrapped in a cloth.

“And this, I made some side dishes.”

“…….”

“……If it doesn’t suit your taste, next time…”

“Don’t bring this kind of thing next time.”

“…….”

At the blunt reply, Lee Gyeonghee pressed her lips together. Not out of humiliation, but to suppress a smile.

‘Don’t bring this next time,’ he said.

Didn’t that mean she could come again next time? Lee Gyeonghee forced down the corners of her trembling lips and spoke in a deliberately subdued voice.

“I’m sorry.”

“…….”

Cha Hongjo smoked his cigarette.

“Oh, right.”

Amidst their silent exchange, Lee Gyeonghee suddenly turned to Go Baekwoo.

“CEO Go……?”

“Ah…… Yes.”

“Last time, things were so hectic I didn’t get to greet you properly……. I heard you’re taking good care of our Hongjo, thank you.”

“……It’s nothing.”

Go Baekwoo treated Lee Gyeonghee with a different kind of awkwardness than Cha Hongjo’s. Beneath his awkward demeanor lay discomfort.

‘His mother was that scary. Scary enough for him to run away barefoot.’

The woman before him was Cha Hongjo’s mother, but she was also the one who had hurt him.

He didn’t know everything about Cha Hongjo, but he understood him to a certain extent. If Cha Hongjo intended to never forgive his mother, he wouldn’t have given her this opportunity to even speak. However, he had stopped the car and chosen to confront her. If his guess was correct, Cha Hongjo couldn’t bring himself to be cold-hearted, even to the woman who tried to kill him, just because she was his mother. He still seemed confused.

“Please take good care of our Hongjo, CEO.”

“Ah, yes. Well……”

Even if they were a mother and son worse than strangers, blood was still blood.

“Likewise.”

Just as he had readily accepted his father, he had to wait and see how their relationship would transform.

“Mother.”

Therefore, Go Baekwoo decided not to make a bad impression on Lee Gyeonghee for now. He took her outstretched hand.

Lee Gyeonghee was as shabbily dressed as before, but her nails were neatly trimmed. Except for her non-existent pinky finger.

Neither Go Baekwoo, who shook her hand, nor Cha Hongjo, who occasionally recalled that missing pinky, noticed her delicate hands, so different from her attire.

“Since I brought some side dishes, would you like to eat at home for once?”

“…….”

Cha Hongjo averted his gaze from the pale pink cloth as if avoiding it. His heart had been racing the whole way home, as if all the blood in his body was coursing through it. Because of his mother’s face, which resembled his own. Because the hateful expression she used to look down at him with in the past overlapped with the apologetic look she often wore now. His vision and mind were cluttered.

“Eat that.”

He felt relieved to avoid her beautiful face, which was smoother than the cloth that reflected the light as if it were new.

“You want me to eat that?”

“…….”

“Throw it away.”

But to Go Baekwoo, he showed a bitter expression. Unconsciously……. This isn’t right. Cha Hongjo chanted to himself. Don’t show your emotions to Go Baekwoo.

“……Or you can eat it, you fucker…….”

Don’t spread your misfortune to Baekwoo.

“Or preserve it, fuck…….”

He commanded himself again and again, but strangely, darker words kept spilling out. His head and lips weren’t in sync.

“Don’t ever talk to that woman again.”

Cha Hongjo brushed back his bangs to cool his suddenly heated forehead, but it was an emotion that couldn’t be resolved with just that. His mind was scorched by a strange feeling close to jealousy, taking the form of anger.

“Hongjo.”

“Do you understand?”

“Cha Hongjo, just……”

“Do you understand?”

He had no room to read Go Baekwoo’s expression or mood. Cha Hongjo couldn’t look directly at Go Baekwoo who had approached him and fixed his gaze on his broad shoulders. Then he chuckled, muttering, “Mother……?”

“Why is that woman ‘Mother’? Fuck, she’s never been motherly.”

“…….”

“Can you still call her ‘Mother’ after hearing my story?”

“That’s just being polite……”

Go Baekwoo said, reaching out his hand.

“Polite?”

Cha Hongjo immediately slapped his hand away.

“Fuck off, huh?”

Right now, he couldn’t touch Go Baekwoo anymore. He couldn’t even be in the same place as him. Otherwise, he would definitely smear his filth onto Go Baekwoo. No, he already had…….

“…….”

“Cha Hongjo.”

Cha Hongjo, biting his lower lip, hurriedly moved his feet. As expected, Go Baekwoo followed, but he pretended not to care and put on his shoes.

“Where are you going?”

Go Baekwoo grabbed his wrist. This time.

“Let go.”

He couldn’t shake him off.

“Where are you going?”

“Let go.”

“……Ha, Hongjo. Please.”

This was different from before. This time, it was an escape for Go Baekwoo.

“Let go!”

The strength he hadn’t been able to muster when trying to escape for himself surged through him, surprising even him, when he thought about saving Go Baekwoo. He pushed Go Baekwoo away.

“Cha Hongjo!”

He closed his ears. He ran like a marathon runner to get away from the presence that stuck to his back like a magnet.

He grabbed, was grabbed, shook him off, ran away, was caught again, but somehow managed to escape…….

“Haah, haah…….”

It was an alley he had never been to before. After confirming that no one was behind him, Cha Hongjo calmed his rapid breathing.

He had managed to escape, truly managed to escape.

Go Baekwoo would be waving a white flag somewhere beyond. If he hadn’t given up, he wouldn’t have been able to get away. Go Baekwoo had let him go.

Perhaps he had read his intentions, as he often did even without words, and let him go, understanding his pride. What must it have felt like to watch him shrink away? Or did he turn around immediately…….

In the meantime, me.

‘Think of me for twenty-four hours. Tell me you missed me even though I didn’t say it. Long for me even when you see me.’

He wouldn’t forget.

To avoid staining Go Baekwoo with his soot, he couldn’t go back now. Cha Hongjo clenched his fists on his knees, cultivating patience. The meager patience in his hands barely covered his longing and self-loathing.

“……Haah, ugh.”

Bitter fluid rose to his throat. Grimacing, Cha Hongjo went to a corner of the alley and bent over. He searched for something to support him instead of Go Baekwoo. He grabbed a utility pole.

“Ugh…….”

Even after vomiting several times, his stomach felt uneasy. Cha Hongjo wiped his wet eyes and thought of Go Baekwoo.

“…….”

He recalled the pink cloth, a color similar to Go Baekwoo’s.

Had he ever eaten food made by his mother? If his memory served him right, not even once. Yet, Cha Hongjo imagined the taste of the side dishes his mother made, and retched again.

Disgusting, hateful, scary.

‘I’m sorry.’

Disgusting.

‘Please take good care of our Hongjo, CEO.’

Pitiful.

“……Crazy bastard.”

More than his mother, Cha Hongjo couldn’t forgive his foolish self.

🔥

A man who runs when he thinks he’s connected. And a man more familiar with perseverance than giving up.

Today, Go Baekwoo waited for Cha Hongjo who had run away. However, unlike before, it wasn’t so painful. This was thanks to the certainty that Cha Hongjo would return without fail. It was because of this certainty that he had readily let Cha Hongjo go. Sometimes, releasing was more necessary than confining. Provided it wasn’t a matter of another person.

He had finally learned a corner of Cha Hongjo. He dared to believe that Cha Hongjo was more skilled at discarding than possessing, and yet, he was a person accustomed to possessing more than discarding. A person who sought others out of loneliness but quickly severed ties, emotional yet pretending to be dry. A person who was emptier than anyone else, yet adept at feigning detachment.

Cha Hongjo needed time. Time to reform loneliness into love, to rebuild the self he had discarded, to acknowledge that beneath the dry surface, there was an abundance of moisture. Time to prepare to become a person who could honestly say, “I love you” when he loved, and “I’m sad” when he was sad.

It wasn’t easy to erase the stains of life that had dyed his fingertips and the soles of his feet. Go Baekwoo himself, even though he had accepted his father, felt his eyes twitch when he thought of his mother. But someday, he would stop twitching. Time left some things behind, but it also erased some things. Even if it couldn’t be cleansed, it could become faint.

It was fortunate that the weather wasn’t bad.

After returning to the empty house without Cha Hongjo, Go Baekwoo stood on the veranda without even changing his clothes, looking down at the alley. Then, glancing up at the sky, he was slightly relieved to see it was clear.

And three or four hours later, as the sky was painted with darkness.

“…….”

“Hongjo.”

Cha Hongjo returned.

“……Baekwoo.”

Completely drunk.

“I’m home.”

“Yes, welcome home.”

“Uh……”

“I waited for you.”

Go Baekwoo embraced Cha Hongjo, who carried the scent of alcohol and the night air.

“I missed you.”

“Uh-huh……”

Barely responding, Cha Hongjo clung tightly to Go Baekwoo’s clothes.

🔥

Director Choi Yitae would have been satisfied if Cha Hongjo delivered even half of what he intended. <A Thousand Crimson Flowers> didn’t have much dialogue, so the director’s direction and the actor’s inner acting were crucial, and although Cha Hongjo’s acting in <Ode to Youth> was impressive for a rookie, there was no guarantee he could replicate it in his film.

Cha Hongjo had been acting for less than a year and was still young. He dared to doubt whether someone in their early twenties could truly understand and clearly express death, the vibrant life, and passionate love. However.

“Mr. Hongjo.”

It was a week into filming. The total filming period was only two weeks, and they were already halfway through.

“Can we talk for a moment……”

After finishing the day’s filming, Choi Yitae called Cha Hongjo in a rather cautious tone.

Before starting, Director Choi also took out a cigarette and lit it.

“Thank you for doing a good job today.”

Then, after a couple of puffs.

“Honestly, I’m surprised.”

Cha Hongjo, who had been staring blankly into space like a lost soul, finally met his gaze. His eyes were still red from the tearful scene he had just performed.

“About what?”

“Your acting, Mr. Hongjo. This might sound offensive, but… I didn’t have high expectations.”

“Ah.”

Cha Hongjo nodded. It wasn’t something to be offended by. Even if the first shot was a hit, the next one could be a dud. If he were the director, he would have had similar doubts as Choi Yitae.

“I understand.”

“Haha, I’m glad you do.”

Choi Yitae scratched the back of his head and laughed. After a week of working together, his laughter had become more natural than at first. Though he didn’t seem entirely at ease.

“It’s just, bringing this up……”

“…….”

Cha Hongjo rubbed his eyes, which were dry from hours of crying, as he waited for the director to continue. It was right after that.

“I wanted to say that if you find it difficult, we can extend the filming period.”

“……Who said it was difficult?”

“Mr. Hongjo. That is……”

Choi Yitae stammered, choosing his words carefully.

“Watching you act, I got a bit of a… feeling. I apologize if I’m mistaken.”

Cha Hongjo, his eyes even redder from rubbing, stared silently at the director.

“What kind of feeling?”

“A feeling of… squeezing.”

“……Are you telling me in a roundabout way to act better?”

“No, absolutely not.”

Choi Yitae waved both hands.

“I mean it literally.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Actually.”

Choi Yitae lowered his gaze, scratching the corner of the cigarette pack he had taken out of his back pocket again.

“A Thousand Crimson Flowers is the first film I wrote.”

“…….”

Cha Hongjo crossed his arms, listening silently.

“I finished… filming it once. It was just the editing left.”

“But why are you filming it again?”

“…….”

“…….”

Choi Yitae took a cigarette from the pack he had been holding and was about to light it, but stopped. Then, with a deep sigh, he muttered as if dropping a word.

“Because the lead actor died.”

“Ah.”

The director who said he felt a sense of squeezing from him. To Cha Hongjo, he looked that way now.

“The ‘Man’ role?”

“……Yes.”

Unlike Choi Yitae, who had even offered to extend the filming period if it was difficult, Cha Hongjo spoke without consideration for the other person.

“Suicide?”

Choi Yitae raised his gaze from the ground to Cha Hongjo’s face. He didn’t seem surprised that Cha Hongjo had guessed the cause of death of someone he had never met.

“Yes.”

Rather, he looked as if he had anticipated Cha Hongjo figuring it out.

Cha Hongjo uncrossed his arms and rubbed his cheek absently, speaking in an indifferent tone.

“You’re saying I’m similar to that actor.”

“As a person, you are different, but when you act… yes, surprisingly so.”

Choi Yitae, finally lighting his cigarette, exhaled a sigh mixed with smoke.

“……When we were filming… it was good. I was excited. I felt like, as long as I didn’t mess up the editing, this would turn out well. Because the actor was so… so good. He was the ‘Man’ itself. It’s still vivid. The feeling I had then, and I never wanted to feel that way again……. I thought I never would, but……”

Cha Hongjo lowered his hand from his cheek. Choi Yitae continued, his voice trembling.

“At first, I wasn’t sure. But seeing you today, I know. Mr. Hongjo……”

“If you know.”

Cha Hongjo interrupted.

“Then what?”

His tone was quite aggressive.

“Are you going to stop filming because the lead might commit suicide?”

As if caught off guard.

“Mr. Hongjo.”

On the contrary, Choi Yitae maintained an unusual calmness. He was making an effort.

“I really want to release this film this time.”

“Then just think about work, only work.”

“As the lead, Mr. Hongjo is also a part of ‘work’.”

“…….”

“I don’t want the film… to be known for another incident. Of course, since Mr. Hongjo is famous, I chose you with the intention of using your fame.”

Cha Hongjo avoided the excessive honesty. He didn’t want to hear any more of Choi Yitae’s story.

“That’s enough, see you tomor…….”

“Prove to me that I, that this film, didn’t kill anyone. Mr. Hongjo, please prove it.”

But as if he had sensed Cha Hongjo’s feelings, Choi Yitae spoke faster than usual.

“Please, I beg you……”

He bowed his head in appeal.

“From then until now, I haven’t been able to escape the thought that I’m a murderer. The deceased actor appears in my dreams every single night.”

“…….”

Cha Hongjo looked down at his curly hair, then searched for a cigarette and put it in his mouth. Even before lighting it, he could smell the acrid scent. The scent that invaded his nostrils along with the stench of decay in his dreams, the smell of incense offered at the ancestral rites.

When he called, “……Director,” Director Choi raised his head. Making eye contact with him, Cha Hongjo finally flicked his lighter.

“It’s not your fault, Director.”

He spoke after soothing his insides with a puff of smoke.

“It’s that bastard’s fault for dying alone, like an idiot.”

“…….”

“Isn’t it?”

The one who couldn’t forget the person who turned their back on the world and was tormented by the past was also foolish. But he didn’t say that.

“If you don’t think so, try changing your perspective.”

And he imposed a solution he couldn’t even manage himself.

“See you tomorrow.”

His response to the plea not to die ended with a simple greeting.

Cha Hongjo felt Director Choi’s gaze on his back, a gaze that didn’t return his greeting. His steps were heavy. It had been like that often lately. As if something invisible was hanging from his ankles.

His bloodshot eyes were painfully dry. Only the lake buried behind his ribs rippled.

He thought he knew, at least a little, what was holding his ankles.

🔥

The next day. Kim Jin, who shared the lead role with Cha Hongjo, was asked to leave. It was less a request and more a notification.

Kim Jin, with no backing or notable career to speak of, couldn’t argue against the unilateral and unfair notification. Even the director said, “There was nothing I could do, I’m sorry,” so what could he possibly do? In this industry, those without power or lacking it were often eliminated or replaced in this way.

The name of the person replacing him played a part in Kim Jin’s easy surrender. It was ‘Seo Joohyun.’ In other words, a star actress. Probably everyone would be surprised if news spread that she was appearing in an independent film. Because she was an actress who had nothing to lose.

On the eighth day of filming, a position was vacated and immediately filled, just like that. Cha Hongjo greeted Seo Joohyun instead of Kim Jin.

The lead had been replaced abruptly. But he hadn’t heard the details. Director Choi acted as if nothing had happened. He behaved as if he had completely forgotten the conversation he had with Cha Hongjo, and Kim Jin as well. It wasn’t a bad situation for Cha Hongjo, so he didn’t bother asking about the inside story. The more you heard, saw, and knew about the world, the more bothersome it became. He didn’t care if his co-star changed.

However, because of this, all the scenes he had filmed with Kim Jin had to be reshot. The filming period was extended by another ten days.

On the first day of working with Seo Joohyun, Cha Hongjo, who had once again delivered a “squeezed” performance, smoked a cigarette in the front yard with a tired face.

“…….”

Cha Hongjo stared blankly at the rusty gate where the busy staff were moving equipment, and took out a second cigarette.

Today, Director Choi had Seo Joohyun observe as a spectator, to get a feel for the atmosphere on set. Thanks to this, Cha Hongjo acted alone in front of the camera continuously. If the co-star hadn’t changed, it would have been a scene he would have filmed three days later. He had to fall into despair upon hearing the news that the ‘Woman’ was terminally ill, earlier than scheduled. Unlike last time, he didn’t have to cry, but once he started to immerse himself, he felt like he was thrown into a swamp. It was chilling and pathetic. It was painful. It had to be. As the ‘Man.’

……Was that okay?

Cha Hongjo suddenly questioned his own acting.

Was it because it was his last film? He felt a desire to perfectly portray the ‘Man’ in <A Thousand Crimson Flowers>. He wanted to be the ‘Man’ as much as he could possibly be. He chose this film because he was moved by the ‘Man’s’ story.

“……Fuck.”

It didn’t seem okay.

Cha Hongjo looked around for Director Choi, intending to discuss the day’s filming. Just then, Choi Yitae appeared before him, carrying a large bag. And behind him were Park Solchan and… also.

“Hello.”

A man, who had somehow overtaken Director Choi and Park Solchan, stood at his feet and greeted him. The man looked familiar.

“I’ve come to escort you.”

It was Madam Jo’s escort.