I’m Not Your Fated Guide, But… Chapter 12.2 - #Side Story 2

After snatching the remote control from Gye Joonmin’s hand, I turned the TV back on. As if he had been waiting for it, Gye Joonmin’s face appeared, passionately singing “Summer Garden.”

Gye Joonmin groaned and buried his face between his knees. Regardless, I diligently appreciated the song. It was atrocious and hilarious even on a repeat viewing. There was a different kind of charm compared to hearing it live.

“Heuh……. Euheuh…….”

“You son of a bitch, pick one: laughing or crying.”

“But…… how can I hold back……. Euheuk.”

Gye Joonmin’s social standing was being dumped into the trash can in real-time.

I had a premonition. The frequency of hair-pulling videos surfacing would significantly decrease. Instead, videos of Gye Joonmin singing “Summer Garden” would circulate daily.

Gye Joonmin, that’s how it goes……. They say one poison suppresses another. What was it, some idiom with a similar meaning… Anyway, old sayings are never wrong.

Finally, Gye Joonmin’s song came to an end. Following that, I appeared on screen, grabbing the microphone. Oh no…….

I had endured until now with the pride that I was better than Gye Joonmin, but looking at it objectively, there wasn’t much difference. It was indescribably miserable.

My social standing was also thrown into the trash can. Gye Joonmin’s social standing is lucky. It’s not lonely.

“Hic, hiic, heuk…….”

Gye Joonmin burst into laughter, unable to even breathe. He was infuriating. I nudged his back with my foot repeatedly. Usually, I would have received strong resistance, telling me to stop, but Gye Joonmin seemed too busy laughing to care. Now, tears were even welling up in his eyes. That damn bastard, really…….

Perhaps because the karaoke scene was so intense, the following content had the effect of appearing relatively ordinary. Ha…….

The scene changed, showing me. Ah, it’s my turn for the interview. I quickly tried to secure the remote control, but failed by a hair’s breadth.

As if deciding it couldn’t be helped, Gye Joonmin committed the outrageous act of hiding the remote control inside his training pants. The only way to retrieve it was to grope Gye Joonmin’s crotch. To use such an obscene tactic. How cowardly…….

I couldn’t bring myself to do the indecent act of putting my hand into Gye Joonmin’s pants. With tears in my eyes, I gave up on recovering the remote control. He was not only petty but also vulgar.

[He’s like a lifelong partner to me. We were in the same class in high school, and we’re close friends.]

On screen, I was scratching my head, unable to overcome my embarrassment. It was quite unsightly. Once again, I was grateful for the blur effect.

After briefly looking at the ceiling, I regained my composure and continued speaking.

[Actually, thanks to him, I’m able to be here right now. He’s someone who changed many parts of my life.]

Immediately after saying that, realizing my mistake, I hurriedly waved both hands towards the camera. It was because I couldn’t bear the embarrassment after speaking. I must be crazy. What did I just say? Goosebumps erupted all over my body.

[Uh, uh. This won’t do. Please edit this out. Okay?]

I was shaking my head with my face buried in my palms. My face, visible between my fingers, resembled a ripe persimmon.

W, w, w, wait, what’s that. I clearly asked them to edit it out. The production crew even nodded, saying they understood. I saw it with my own two eyes.

Then why is the part I asked them to edit out included? Did they trick me?

I trembled with betrayal. I felt not only resentful but also deeply hurt.

I, Won Yoogyeol, will die here today. The cause of death: mortification.

I didn’t have the courage to check Gye Joonmin’s reaction. What if Gye Joonmin teased me here? I wasn’t confident I could endure the embarrassment and frustration. Like someone afflicted with a disease that would kill them if they turned their head, I desperately stared straight ahead.

If he teases me, I won’t let him off easy. I inwardly seethed, locating the whiskey bottle with a sidelong glance. If it comes to it, I’ll grab that bottle upside down and…….

But unexpectedly, Gye Joonmin didn’t say anything. By now, there should have been some remark to turn my stomach, but it was silent.

Soon the scene changed, and Gye Joonmin’s interview followed. I wondered what that bastard said. I was curious and scared at the same time. I wanted to see it quickly, and at the same time, I wanted to just jump up and leave.

Gye Joonmin sat upright, staring directly at the camera. Damn, he looks good on screen. This is what an idol is, an esper.

[Um, he’s a classmate I spent my school days with, and also a friend, and a good partner. How should I put it, uh, that is, um……. I can say he’s a companion.]

Uh, huh. It was almost the same as what I had said. Since I was interviewed later, there’s no way he would have known what I said……. Did the production crew leak it? Did they abandon their journalistic duty?

[He’s a precious friend. Thanks to him, I found a reason to live.]

Gye Joonmin said so with a bright smile. His sparkling eyes, his neat teeth visible between his plump lips, and the dimple slightly indented on his left cheek were indescribably beautiful. I was lost in thought, watching his smile. My heart pounded fiercely.

Then, as if realizing his mistake, the Gye Joonmin on screen covered his face with both hands. His face was so small that his hands covered it completely.

He hurriedly shook his head towards the camera. That appearance was indescribably cute.

[Ha, this won’t do. I’d like this part to be edited out.]

Gye Joonmin slowly lowered his hands. His face was red, as if someone lacking in alcohol dehydrogenase had drunk alcohol. Even that appearance was broadcast in its entirety.

That cold-blooded and vicious production crew……. They’re no different from malicious psychopaths…….

After the interview scene concluded, the narration continued, explaining that while Gye Joonmin was an S-rank esper, he was also an ordinary young man. The commentary seemed to continue for quite a while after that, but naturally, none of it registered.

As I sat there blankly, the documentary came to an end before I knew it. I stared at the commercials, half out of my mind.

“…….”

“…….”

“……Shall we get ready for bed?”

“……Okay.”

Gye Joonmin and I couldn’t make eye contact. We lowered our heads and began to tidy up the living room.

☁️

The documentary sparked an explosive reaction. It achieved the program’s highest viewership rating.

The edited video uploaded to You*Tube rode the algorithm. I won’t bother explaining the results. It would be a waste of breath.

Our discord rumors? Those were certainly put to rest. Now no one thought we had a bad relationship. The hair-pulling incident? That was dismissed as a roughhousing between close friends.

Yes, the purpose of appearing in the documentary was definitely achieved. So I should be happy. I should be happy, but… why do I keep tearing up? For the record, they were definitely not tears of joy.

The hair-pulling videos were definitely seen less now. The problem was that other videos kept surfacing.

Tone-deaf Gardener? That video was circulating everywhere. I expected as much, of course. Honestly, I’ve replayed it over a hundred times myself. It was funny no matter how many times I watched it. It always made me laugh freshly.

But why are other clips being edited and circulated as well? Videos of Gye Joonmin and me walking awkwardly, agonizing over how to cook curry, pigging out at a buffet, arguing over eggs while making ramen late at night, and so on……. They were uploaded in a wide variety.

If you gathered all the uploaded videos, the total runtime would be no different from the main documentary. Someone commented that there wasn’t a single part that wasn’t a killing part. Damn it…….

Some wicked person attached a video of me passionately singing at the karaoke to a video of contestants from a hip-hop audition program. Because of that video, I earned the humiliating nickname “Genius Rapper.” I hate everything, really……. I curse the person who uploaded that video to find 60-grit sandpaper in place of toilet paper whenever they have diarrhea and need to use the restroom.

Ah, but there was one piece of good news.

The two songs that Gye Joonmin and I enthusiastically sang at the karaoke gradually climbed the charts and achieved the feat of entering the TOP 100 of a certain music site.

Still, it barely made it into the bottom 90s, so I thought it would quickly disappear from the chart once the hype died down. But surprisingly, it held on for several weeks, albeit in the lower ranks. Initially, people started listening to the original songs because they found the videos funny, but the dominant reaction was that the songs became enjoyable after repeated listening.

Honestly, “Summer Garden” is a masterpiece. The new song is catchy too.

Kwon Ji-seo uploaded a photo of herself watching the documentary on the SNS account she recently opened. That wasn’t the end of it. She sent autographed merchandise through the center, saying thank you. I gave half of the goods to Da-min and offered the other half to my older sister.

Da-min was overjoyed, saying she hit the jackpot. My aunt said she even smiles in her sleep. Alright, Da-min, at least you’re happy…….

My older sister must be very happy too……. I can see it, I can see it. I can picture her jumping for joy.

“Hey, Gye Joonmin, by sacrificing ourselves, Da-min and older sister Yooyoung became happy. Let’s be satisfied with that. It’s like the greatest happiness for the greatest number, you know, something like that.”

“You idiot, it’s not ‘something like that.’ It’s utilitarianism.”

“Whatever, whatever. At least the number of syllables is the same.”

“What about us being unhappy?”

“Think positively. We brought joy to many people.”

“Well, if the Genius Rapper says so.”

“Son of a bitch, don’t call me that.”

“Why? It rolls off the tongue nicely.”

“Oh yeah? I’ll call you Off-Key Gardener then? Let me be clear, you started it first. Oh, that video appeared on the main page of the portal site again today. Congratulations.”

For the record, Off-Key Gardener isn’t a nickname I came up with. I referenced a popular comment on Gye Joonmin’s video.

“Shut up.”

“Telling your Uju-hyung to shut up. Where did you learn such manners?”

“Would you please shut down that vocal apparatus?”

“…….”

“…….”

“……What’s a vocal apparatus?”

“……Never mind. I’m sorry. I was wrong.”

☁️

Anyone want to live react to today’s daily record, the one with the esper?

That esper documentary with Gye Joonmin, yeah ㅇㅇㅇㅇ

[▼Comments]

Me me me I want to watch

┖222 Me too!!!

┖3333333333333

┖444444 Let’s go let’s go

Should I make a new thread?

┖No need to make a separate one?

┖Let’s just do it here ㄱㄱㄱ

Gye Joonmin won’t fight with his guide anymore, right? That time was hilarious lol

┖The hair-pulling was seriously funny lol I sometimes look it up when I’m feeling down lol

┖That’s totally my laugh button lol I click on it every time a new one is uploaded like I’m possessed lol

┖I saw it live lol I seriously couldn’t believe my eyes lol

┖But it was a few years ago, so they probably got closer

┖ㅇㅇㅇㅇ They’re probably mature nowㅎㅎㅎ

Aren’t they on bad terms?????

┖It’s famous, you didn’t know?

┖Where have you been locked up?

┖Haven’t you seen that video, the hair-pulling incident lol

┖Here, I’ll spoon-feed you, click this link and watch the video

But if an esper and guide are paired, aren’t they all on good terms?? Why are they like that?

┖ㄴㄴThey’re not officially paired, I heard

┖ㅁㅈㅁㅈ Gye Joonmin has a different imprinted guide

┖They’ve been notorious since high school…..My younger sibling’s classmate went to the same school, and they said everyone would get anxious if they didn’t fight for even a dayㅋ…..They were dragged to the principal’s office, but they fought even there and crushed the principal’s prized 200,000 won succulent, making him cry…

Why are they so awkward???? Are they malfunctioning????

┖Are they being camera-conscious? Lol

┖Crazy lol I knew it from when Gye Joonmin did that terrible acting

┖Apologize to his feet;;;;;;;;;

┖I thought he was a robot

┖Apologize to the robots;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

But what’s with that guide, why is his body so good

┖When he rolled up his sleeves, those muscles, wow….

┖Is that person really a guide? Are they an esper??? He doesn’t look out of place next to Gye Joonmin ㄷㄷㄷ

┖He is a guide, the subtitles said so earlier ㅇㅇㅇ

┖Ah, but his body is totally my type. Like Gye Joonmin, a blatant shoulder and chest chaebol is good, but… I really like how that guide looks slender at first glance when he’s dressed, but if you look closely, he has just the right amount of muscle

┖ㅇㅇㅇㅇㅇㅇ That amount is the best

┖This is it, the ideal beautiful muscle I envision

┖I’m curious about the guide’s face, I have a feeling he’s handsome

┖ㅁㅈㅁㅈ The handsomeness piercing through the blurry screen…

???? What the, are they close????

┖Look at him putting in eye drops, they’re totally best friends

┖Yeah, they seem closer than I thought

┖Is there any reason for them to be that affectionate???

┖Are they acting?

┖It looks natural, so no actingㄴㄴ

┖Because it’s natural, it’s more likely to be acting

┖Didn’t you see that drama?? Gye Joonmin doesn’t have the acting skills to pull that off lol

┖He’s right lol If you saw that, you’d never say it’s acting lol

What’s with Gye Joonmin, asking to go to the hospital over that?????

┖It’s scarier because he seems serious

┖He doesn’t look it, but does he have hypochondria????

Guys…wait…wait a minute…did they just put in 5 cans of tuna????

┖Wow, I’m questioning my eyes right now

┖What the, at this point, the curry seems to have been used

┖Do they have a vendetta against tuna?

┖Is this tuna viral marketing? lol

┖If it was, wouldn’t they have not blurred it out lol

┖Then let’s just say they’re crazy about tuna…

They keep saying challenge challenge, it’s kinda addictive

┖You too? Me too lol

┖Challenge??? Challenge!!!

Did they forget about the camera lol After looking at the camera, they’re awkward again???????

┖Then the eye drops earlier weren’t acting????

┖Seems like it???

┖I don’t know what’s what anymore…

┖Confused, so confused

Why is their house such a mess, there’s not a single intact spot

┖ㅅㅂ I just saw a hole in the wall

┖My older sister raises triplets, but her house is still more intact than that one

┖Are they tearing it down for remodeling?

┖Their belongings are still there?

┖A pen stuck in the TV??????? What the????? Did I see that wrong????

What’s with the kimchi refrigerator, why is it like that??? Why is it that color???

┖ㅅㅂ I’m questioning my eyes too lol Is there any reason for it to be that bright green??

┖I thought it was the color of a scouring pad

┖Whose sense is that

┖The kimchi refrigerator’s presence, it keeps stealing my attention lol

Ah, but I thought it’d be boring since it’s a documentary, but it’s kinda fun

┖Me too lol It feels like I’m watching a variety show

┖I was doing other things while it was on, but I found myself watching it upright before I knew it lol

???? Something seems different

┖What?

┖Shouldn’t the esper be saying he’ll run a lot and the guide saying he’ll run less? Why is it the opposite?

┖Exactly lol

What are they doing, didn’t they say they’d take a walk? Why are they running?

┖That’s the 5th lap lol But why doesn’t that guide look tired at all, is he an esper?

┖What’s up with his stamina ㄷㄷㄷ

Oh, I think the people who just joined are handsome too

┖ㅇㅇㅇㅇ I have a feeling

Wow, all four of them have amazing physiques???

┖The screen is full, they all seem like espers, right?????

┖ㄴㄴ One of them is definitely a guide lol

┖Ah right, that’s true

┖But even if he’s an esper, it wouldn’t be out of place ㄷㄷㄷ

Whoa, they’re really good singers?????

┖Better than singers??????

What the heck, Gye Joonmin, what’s with that singing? LOL

┖He’s gone crazy lol ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

┖Is he doing that on purpose??? It’s not intentional, right???? A human can do that???? ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

┖I knew he couldn’t sing, but it’s hopeless even when I see it again lol

┖Gye Joonmin is human after all lol His skills are not human-like, and his face is not human-like, but lol seeing this makes me feel suddenly close to him lol

┖I’m crying, crying ㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜ

??????????????????????? Is Gye Joonmin tone-deaf?????????

┖Yes, yes, he’s famous for it lol When he sang last time, everyone went crazy

┖But I didn’t know it would be this bad;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

┖I went to the audience then, I thought my stomach would burst from laughing

┖What am I even listening to right now…

Gye Joonmin’s doing that on purpose, right??? To be funny??? Please tell me it’s so

┖No…believe it or not…he’s doing his best to sing…

┖Doesn’t he have a desire for gags???? There’s no other way to explain this situation

Why is Gye Joonmin’s voice so good, what the heck…

┖Ah lol What a waste of a voice lol

┖He can’t use that voice any other way?????

┖Ha, I feel frustrated for him

Someone take the microphone away from Gye Joonmin

┖No way, it’s at its peak of fun!!!!

What’s with the guide, is he rapping????

┖The accompaniment is a ballad???

┖Even reading a textbook would have better pitch than that

┖Confused…

┖Being Gye Joonmin’s partner is not for just anyone

Ah, that was fun

┖It was hilarious, really lol

┖I’ll replay the hair-pulling video and this video whenever something depressing happens in the future

They eat well…

┖Look at their size…considering fuel efficiency, they should eat a lot

┖That’s true

┖What’s with the speed the plates are stacking up lol

┖If I were the buffet manager, I would have cried……ㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜ

Hey, what did I just see, Gye Joonmin peeling shrimp for his guide?? Someone explain

┖He’s crazy… He even peeled shrimp

┖Are they really on bad terms??? They look close no matter how I look at it???

┖ㄱㅈㅁ’s not a novice at this

Why is Gye Joonmin being so affectionate, making people’s hearts flutter, damn it

┖Right???? I’m not the only one whose heart is fluttering, right?????

┖Gye Joonmin is guilty

┖He even brought him fruit, crazy

It looks like ㄱㅈㅁ is subtly taking care of his guide?

┖Is it a script?

┖I thought so too, but looking at how they are, I don’t think they could do it even if they were given a script, honestly, just looking at the karaoke, you can tell it’s not a script lol

┖Ah, the karaoke—makes—complete—sense

┖Whoa, now that I think about it, that’s true lol

┖If it’s the karaoke, I agree

What’s with the interview??? Why are their lines the same?

┖The smell of a script is strong ㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷ

┖Aren’t they just reading the interview as it’s written? It’s too contrived… Their stuttering earlier is probably also because of the script

┖If the previous content and the interview are all scripted, shouldn’t they be acting badly the whole time? It’s weird if it’s selective bad acting lol

┖The interview definitely doesn’t seem scripted…Gye Joonmin acts badly when reading a script, but he’s only normal when saying those lines, maybe it’s not a script but his real thoughts..

┖I also vote for this

┖The karaoke doesn’t seem scripted either

┖But if it was a script, would they have written it the same way???? Shouldn’t it be different for both of them to be natural

┖Oh, that’s right

┖Then it’s just their hearts connecting? lol

I’m the commenter who said it was contrived earlier, but I take it back, what’s with the blushing, if that’s acting too, he should get the Best New Actor award at a film festival lol

┖If that’s acting, he’s a real acting genius…..ㄷㄷㄷ

┖But there’s no way Gye Joonmin is an acting geniusㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ

┖If he’s blushing because he said that sincerely, it’s funny and absurd lol

┖Their stuttering also seems like they were conscious of the camera lol

Wow, Gye Joonmin and the guide’s faces are turning red

┖Both of their faces are red, it’s breaking through the blur

┖Ah, I’m curious about the guide’s bare face

But they look close????

┖Right lol They’re totally besties??

┖Wasn’t the hair-pulling just playing around??

┖Seems like it lol I used to pull my sibling’s hair all the time when I was in elementary school lol

┖Oh man, so they’re at the elementary school level lol

┖I…can’t…deny it…For the record, I’m a Gye Joonmin fan lol But even seeing what they do, I can’t say it’s not true lol

Even if we assume the interview and everything else is scripted…that karaoke scene is not something that can be intentionally produced

┖This is true lol

┖But the other things don’t seem scripted either

┖That’s that then

Hey, I’m not going to believe those discord rumors anymore, starting today.

┖222222222Me too

┖33333333333333333

┖444444 At first, I thought it was a staged act, but after seeing the later parts, it doesn’t seem like it lol If that’s acting, they deserve a Daesang lol

┖But Gye Joonmin’s acting is terrible lol

┖It’s the truth lol

┖55555 The discord rumors all seem to be lies? The reporters did their thing

┖But didn’t the hair-pulling seem real

┖Honestly, can’t that happen when friends fight?

I looked up the song Gye Joonmin sang, but the original is perfectly normal????

┖This is Gye Joonmin’s fault

┖But isn’t the song kind of good?

┖I’ll confess…I keep listening to it lol

┖Actually, I added both songs to my playlist…

┖Hee hee me too….ㅋ…