I’m Not Your Fated Guide, But… Chapter 3.2 - #03 I Really Hate Seeing You So Downhearted. (1)

The black hand marks on my neck had vanished. Park Haewon, at Moon Youngsu’s request, completely erased not only the bruises but also minor scrapes in one go. High-caliber talent brought in through connections is indeed the best.

I was truly relieved that the bruises were gone. They’d looked pretty gruesome. I’d gotten used to them from seeing them constantly, but Gye Joonmin would scowl every time he saw them. His reaction was similar to when he encountered a mouse or a worm.

I should send a chicken gift card to Esper Park Haewon as a thank you. I can send it through Moon Youngsu. I should toss an Americano gift card to Moon Youngsu as well. I’m a man who knows gratitude. Without those two, I’d have been stuck wearing turtlenecks. Ugh, I can’t stand neck-choking clothes.

Oh, yesterday, Esper Sun Juhyuk visited. His wife and two daughters came along.

He’ll need a wheelchair for a while, but thankfully, his life isn’t in danger. Sun Juhyuk, tears streaming, said he owed his life to me. He kept bowing and thanking me, and I was so embarrassed I thought I’d die. I must have listened to his gratitude for over an hour.

Sia was even cuter in person than in photos. My goodness, such a tiny, soft, lovable being. She wasn’t shy at all, smiling brightly even when I held her awkwardly.

Her older sister, Siyeon, was very shy. She clung to her mom’s hand, glancing up at me but looking away when our eyes met. When I spoke to her, she whispered to her mom instead of answering me directly. When I waved goodbye, she waved back three times with her little hand before quickly hiding behind her mom. So adorable.

Watching the four of them walk side by side, my eyes grew warm. I rubbed them with my sleeve and thought, I’m glad I survived. I’m so grateful I could become a Guide.

I was thankful for the reality that I could help someone. I hoped Sia and Siyeon would grow up happy. I wished they’d never know the pain of loss I’d experienced.

I need to live harder from now on. I’ll do my best to save even one more person.

It was my first day back at work in a while. As soon as I stepped into the office, Moon Youngsu rushed from his desk and hugged me tightly. I staggered, nearly losing my balance, but managed to steady myself. Even a lanky guy like him had weight when he threw himself at me. Hey, if I hadn’t been training my core muscles, I’d have cracked my skull. Bow to my muscles in gratitude, you punk.

“Heavy. Get off.”

“You doing okay now?”

“I’m fine. Tell Esper Park Haewon thanks for me.”

“You don’t know how worried Haewon was. When we heard you had a cardiac arrest, I was too scared to sleep.”

“Why worry? You know I’m tough.”

“I was going to visit when I heard you woke up, but they said you needed to stabilize and wouldn’t allow it. How could I not worry?”

“Was that it?”

No wonder not a single person visited during my hospital stay. I’d briefly wondered if people were just cold or if my relationships were messed up.

Wait, if visitors were banned, how was Gye Joonmin hanging out in my room?

As if reading my mind, Moon Youngsu brought up Gye Joonmin.

“Apparently, Esper Gye Joonmin was supposed to be banned from visiting too, but he threw a fit.”

“Huh? What kind of fit?”

“He went off, asking if they’d take responsibility if his levels got unstable.”

“That crazy bastard…”

I’ve been by Gye Joonmin’s side for six years. If they’re calling it a fit, I could imagine the disaster. When a guy with a rotten personality goes berserk, the surroundings get obliterated. That temper of his…

Since when did he care about his levels? Unbelievable, really.

“So, you guys made up?”

“Made up what?”

“Esper Gye Joonmin was nursing you the whole time. I thought you finally got along.”

“Made up? Got along?”

I let out a hollow laugh.

“Uh… No?”

Just yesterday, I had a huge fight with Gye Joonmin. I couldn’t sleep, so I was doing squats in the home gym, and he caught me. He nagged me endlessly, as if he’s responsible for my muscle loss. I got treated by Esper Park Haewon, and my bones are fully healed, so what’s his problem?

“Made up, my ass.”

He grilled me like I was an insane patient. Even beans in a frying pan wouldn’t get roasted as much as I did.

If he sees me as a patient, shouldn’t he help me stabilize mentally too? What a guy who doesn’t know how to respect patients. Hi… Hipo… What was it? Something with a dinosaur vibe, like Triceratops. Anyway, Dr. Hi won’t forgive him.

“You didn’t make up, and he still nursed you for two weeks?”

“I wouldn’t nurse my boyfriend for two weeks.”

Team members chimed in, taking Gye Joonmin’s side. I was so frustrated and wronged I could go mad. Did that jerk Gye Joonmin bribe our team behind my back? There’s no other explanation.

I poured out how much Gye Joonmin nagged, scolded, and snubbed me. It was a tear-jerking tale. I teared up just talking about it.

Want to know what’s sadder? No one listened to me. Too much, really.

What even are relationships… A wave of emptiness washed over me.

The morning was uneventful. I thought I’d have a pile of reports, but the team leader and colleagues had split the work. Warm people. I haven’t lived my life in vain. Relationships do matter.

After lunch, I headed to the gym, but everyone tried to stop me.

“Rest today.”

“Why?”

“You just got discharged.”

“That’s why I need to go. I lost muscle mass while hospitalized.”

“Ugh, gym freak.”

“Tch, call me a fitness enthusiast.”

I waved at them and headed to the gym. Thanks to Gye Joonmin’s surveillance, I hadn’t worked out properly for over two weeks. My body was itching.

Opening the gym door, familiar air greeted me. Ah, this stale air and musty mold smell. Smelling it after so long calmed me. Feels like home, so nice.

Even the old, rickety equipment looked welcoming. Still, I wish they’d buy some new stuff.

Or maybe sneak a few from the Esper training facility? They’ve got tons of equipment there. One or two missing wouldn’t even be noticed. They’re always getting new stuff.

I considered it briefly but dropped the idea. Nah, stealing’s not the way.

I started with light stretching and was about to get serious when the door opened. A familiar face. After City—Doshihu.

Why does this guy keep coming here instead of the fancy, palace-like Esper training facility? Does he have a weird taste for outdated equipment? If so, trade with me.

I deliberately avoided looking at Doshihu. Locking eyes and getting into it like last time would be a hassle. Lunch break is limited. I didn’t have time to waste.

I quietly started bench presses per my routine. Suddenly, a shadow fell over my face. It was Doshihu. What?

“You got hurt, huh?”

Doshihu asked out of nowhere. Were we close enough to check on each other like this? No matter how I thought about it, we weren’t.

Plus, Doshihu had been speaking informally to me since last time. An utterly unacceptable, disrespectful attitude in my Confucian book. Who are you to talk so casually? His lack of manners was straight out of Gye Joonmin’s playbook.

I let it slide last time because things were hectic, but not twice. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, informality for informality.

“Yeah.”

I answered shortly and silently lifted the barbell. It was blatantly dismissive. He must’ve known, but he didn’t budge. What’s with him? Annoying.

“You had a cardiac arrest?”

Did the center send out a mass message behind my back? Everyone seems to know. It’s not like it’s good news to spread around.

I didn’t feel like responding. I nodded vaguely and focused on my workout. I had to make up for lost time. Need to fill the gap fast.

Even though I was openly ignoring him, Doshihu kept hovering around the bench. Why won’t this guy leave? Anyone would think I owed him money. If I did, I’d at least feel justified.

“…You got hurt because you were recklessly acting out of your league.”

His absurd comment made my hand slip in shock. I nearly dropped the barbell on my neck. This would-be murderer kept yapping, oblivious to almost killing me.

“You think you’re an Esper? Why don’t you take care of yourself and stop messing around?”

Familiar, so familiar. I’d heard this a nauseating amount. My ears are probably calloused from Gye Joonmin’s nagging in the hospital.

I thought I’d escaped him by coming to work, but what’s this? This guy and I aren’t even close. We haven’t even formally introduced ourselves. Hearing this crap from a near-stranger, when even a crush saying it would piss me off.

Anger surged. Who is he to meddle in my life?

Be grateful I’m holding a barbell, not a dumbbell, you punk. If it was a dumbbell, I might’ve smashed your head in a fit of rage.

I desperately tried to calm my boiling insides. Don’t let anger control you. That’s what simple-minded Gye Joonmin does. I’m civilized. I’m different.

But despite my resolve, my fingers kept slipping on the bar. I gripped it tighter, trying to hold on. Useless. Doshihu kept running his mouth.

“Why do you work out so hard as a Guide? Espers like me… I mean, Espers will protect you anyway.”

This guy, going on and on…

I couldn’t take it anymore and set the barbell on the safety rack. I was so mad I might drop it or throw it at Doshihu. Let’s call it quits for bench presses.

Moon Youngsu’s words from before flashed in my mind. He said some Espers resent me because I’m more built and have better fitness test scores. Was that why he needed a fight?

Even so, it was ridiculous. Espers naturally have great builds and muscle mass. If that doesn’t click, look at Gye Joonmin. That guy lazes around all weekend, and his forearms are as big as my thighs. Unfair reality.

In short, Espers are blessed with superior conditions. And still, their records are worse than mine? That’s their own fault, isn’t it? If they’re jealous, they should hit the gym harder. I train three hours like my life depends on it, and it’s still less effective than their casual one-hour sessions. If their records are worse, is that my fault? Not like I’m slacking, jeez. What a shameless, greedy punk.

No point arguing. I’d just feel wronged.

Ignoring him, I got up from the bench. Fine, lunch workout’s over. I’ll make up for it after work.

I grabbed my jacket and headed to the hallway. The elevator was on the 24th floor. Worried he’d follow like last time, I decided to take the stairs.

Just before reaching the first floor, someone grabbed my shoulder from behind. My rush to the stairs was for nothing.

The hand gripping my shoulder tightened. It hurt, but pride kept me from showing it. Getting caught twice made me livid.

The thought of climbing to the sixth floor with this guy tailing me was dizzying. Nope, I opened the emergency exit and stepped out to the first floor.

“You ignoring me right now?”

“Yeah.”

“How… how dare you…”

“You know me?”

“You don’t know me?”

“Don’t think so.”

I knew his name from Moon Youngsu, but officially, we’re strangers.

“You!”

Doshihu bit his lip and glared at me. He looked furious, at a loss. What? So what if you’re mad?

Am I obligated to memorize every Esper’s face in the center? Even if there was such a rule, I’d ignore it cleanly.

Why does he act like I’m supposed to know him? Is he actually someone I’ve met? I studied his face closely.

His skin was fair, his single-lidded eyes sharp. The line of his nose was pretty nice. What do they call it? A fox-like face from a snowy country? A pretty face that might have a niche fanbase.

Still, it didn’t move me. I’m used to seeing Gye Joonmin’s masterpiece of a face daily. Gye Joonmin’s raised my aesthetic standards uselessly high. Not sure if that’s good or bad.

For courtesy, I racked my brain again, but no luck.

“Who cares who you are.”

At my words, Doshihu’s face turned ghostly white. His already pale face became sheet-like.

“You… you really don’t remember me?”

His voice trembled, stuttering. His contorted face showed frustration and hurt. Wasn’t this how I looked at my teammates siding with Gye Joonmin? Why, though?

On closer look, his nose was red. Like he was about to burst into tears. Why, for real?

“I really don’t.”

Before I finished, Doshihu grabbed my collar. I froze, caught off guard. It was my first time getting grabbed by someone other than Gye Joonmin, so I didn’t react properly.

I thought we were the same height, but I had to look down slightly to meet his eyes. He noticed and subtly lifted his heels. Unbelievable, this guy.

“You… lied to me?”

His hands, gripping my collar, shook. Why would I lie to you?

The collar tightened my throat. Not a pleasant sensation. It kept reminding me of being choked by Sun Juhyuk.

I tried to shake Doshihu off, but he didn’t budge. An Esper’s strength, I guess. Sighing, I warned him.

“I’ll only tolerate three things.”

“What?”

“I tolerated your informal speech, your nonsense, and now this collar grab. That’s it.”

“So what if you don’t tolerate it? You really don’t remember me?”

“Yeah.”

“You bastard.”

Let’s be objective. Am I the bastard for getting picked on and grabbed by a stranger? Or is Doshihu the bastard for picking on and grabbing innocent me? The answer’s clear.

He was someone I couldn’t reason with. Like Gye Joonmin.

In times like this, there’s a surefire solution. Why do I train at the boxing gym? To knock out cocky punks like you—and Gye Joonmin. Got it?

Without hesitation, I swung at Doshihu’s jaw. He reflexively dodged, barely. His grip on my collar loosened slightly. Seizing the chance, I broke free.

Stepping forward, I aimed for his jaw again. This time, it landed square. He’s an Esper, so no worry about breaking bones. I put some force into it. Not as satisfying as hitting Gye Joonmin, but still thrilling. A punch is the cure for arrogant punks.

Doshihu didn’t back down, striking my side. Pain shot to my ribs, but I could take it. Thanks to six years of forced toughness training, courtesy of you-know-who.

We traded blows, grappling fiercely. People gathered, trying to intervene, but our tangle made it impossible.

Rolling on the floor, I got up and pinned Doshihu down. Seizing the moment to land another hit, my vision suddenly flipped. He’d climbed onto my legs.

I twisted my lower body to break free. He noticed and clamped my thighs tightly with his knees.

My body stiffened instantly. The pressure on my legs triggered déjà vu. Oh… I know this sensation.

In the dark, the sound of dripping water, immobile legs, a body trapped tightly, unable to move. And… a voice fading away.

My breathing quickened. I was breathing, but air wasn’t reaching my lungs. I panted heavily. My limbs spasmed occasionally.

My head tipped back. Sunlight poured through the glass. I saw Gye Joonmin entering the lobby with others.

Memories tangled between shallow breaths. The past overlaid the present.

Back then, Gye Joonmin reached out to me as I lay dying alone. When I’d given up and accepted the end, he appeared and saved me. I still vividly recall the pale outline of his hand in the faint light. I couldn’t forget it if I tried.

The jolt that struck like lightning. It was akin to an imprint. I vaguely sensed it then. I’d live for this person forever. That unformed resolve became the conviction piercing my life. I never regretted or doubted it. You saved me, so now I want to live for you.

Eight years ago, I needed a reason to keep living. That was you.

Somehow, we ended up in a bit of a weird relationship, though. Right, that’s how it was…

Our eyes met. Gye Joonmin looked surprised for a moment, then his expression hardened.

My trembling eyes couldn’t focus, darting aimlessly. I still couldn’t breathe properly. No matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t work.

Strange. My mind wasn’t working. Thoughts kept breaking off.

Gye Joonmin slowly raised his hand. I blankly watched the trajectory of his outstretched hand. He removed one piercing from his left ear.

At that moment, my body jolted violently. A strange, unfamiliar energy surged from my brain, down my spine, spreading through my body.

A flicker of unease passed, but I quickly adjusted. An inexplicable force overflowed wildly. My body felt light as air. At the same time, my limbs began moving on their own. The sensation of defying my will should’ve been unpleasant, but oddly, it was fine. Even exhilarating.

As if I’d never been pinned, I flipped over in one motion. I lowered my head and thrust it upward with force. Doshihu’s jaw took a direct hit from my crown. He screamed and recoiled.

Doshihu quickly regained his stance and charged. Strangely, his movements felt absurdly slow. It wasn’t just from the jaw hit—something felt off.

It wasn’t just him. My surroundings, the world, moved slowly. Or maybe I was moving fast. Yes, that was it. My body’s movements outpaced my perception. My hyper-acute senses absorbed information in different forms.

No need for complex thoughts. I surrendered to the sensation dominating my body. First, deal with this damn punk in front of me.

Doshihu tried to grab my collar again. So slow. I ducked swiftly, grabbed his collar, and threw him. He tumbled across the floor like paper. Not missing the chance, I drove my elbow into his back. Unable to bear the pain, he thrashed violently. Ignoring it, I pressed a spot on his neck. He struggled at first, flailing, then went still. He’d passed out. At the same time, the sensation controlling my body vanished.

Then it hit me. Gye Joonmin had intervened. He’d used his ability to drastically boost my physical reaction speed.

I stood and turned to where Gye Joonmin was. He approached me slowly.

Here comes the nagging. He’ll probably yell, “Are you insane? You just got discharged, and you’re fighting?”

But instead of scolding, he knelt on one knee in front of me.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Huh? Uh, yeah.”

“Your face looks rough.”

“Does it?”

I scratched my cheek awkwardly. It stung, probably scratched. No big deal, just another day.

“You need the trauma ward.”

I glanced at Doshihu, sprawled on the floor. He’s the one who needs the ward.

“This okay?”

I nudged Doshihu with my toe, and Gye Joonmin shrugged.

“He’s not dead, so it’s fine, right?”

“How did you do that?”

“No idea. Let’s go.”

Gye Joonmin stood up first and extended his hand toward me. Not understanding what he meant, I stared blankly, and he waved his hand impatiently.

“What are you doing?”

Caught off guard, I grabbed his hand. Gye Joonmin pulled me up with force.

“What about this guy?”

“People will handle it. Let’s go.”

Gye Joonmin started walking but paused. Wondering why, I looked, and he kicked Doshihu’s side as he lay collapsed on the floor. It was a simple motion, but I saw it clearly. His toe definitely carried strong force. Even unconscious, Doshihu let out a pained groan, as if he felt the pain.

“Oh, my bad. Didn’t see him.”

This was my sixth year trading blows with Gye Joonmin. From what I could tell, that angle and force would mean at least a cracked rib, or at worst, organ damage.

I couldn’t help but feel uneasy. What if he’s seriously hurt? As I stared blankly at the groaning Doshihu, Gye Joonmin grabbed my arm and pulled.

“Let’s get out of here before more people show up.”

“His organs aren’t ruptured, are they?”

“Nah, not that bad. Probably just two cracked ribs.”

His tone was as casual as if he were saying he had galbi-tang for lunch.

Come to think of it, even though Gye Joonmin and I fought like breathing, I’d never had a fracture. I got bruises, nosebleeds, and hair pulled out, but it never went as far as damaging bones or ligaments.

Suddenly, something my teammates had said crossed my mind. Gye Joonmin never used his abilities when fighting me. He faced me purely with physical strength.

It didn’t feel like he was going easy on me, though. Gye Joonmin always came at me with gritted teeth, completely serious. How should I put it? Like he was fighting man-to-man, no rank or title involved.

“Hey, Won Yoogyeol.”

Gye Joonmin, walking ahead, stopped abruptly. I stopped too. He slowly turned to face me.

“Espers, they all live for their own ego.”

If it were the usual me, I’d have shot back, like last time, saying I enjoyed his self-introduction. But somehow, the mood didn’t feel right for sarcasm or jokes. Instead, I nodded quietly.

“Yeah.”

“Guys like that can’t stand being at a disadvantage. The moment they feel cornered, they’ll shamelessly use force to crush their opponent, whether it’s a Guide or a civilian. That’s just how they’re wired.”

“R-right?”

“I’m not avoiding shit because I’m scared. I avoid it because it’s dirty. You get what I mean, right?”

“Uh, yeah.”

Is he worrying about me right now? Am I crazy? Why’s my chest tingling? Why are my earlobes burning?

“I was gonna let you beat him up more but held back.”

“Why?”

“You’re a Guide, but you’ve got a history of fighting me, an Esper. If you went all out, you’d get disciplined for excessive defense.”

What’s with this guy being so meticulous? Why’s he acting like this lately? Has this crazy bastard finally lost it? They say when people do things they don’t normally do, they’re about to die…

I felt dizzy in a good way. My face flushed uncontrollably. Afraid Gye Joonmin would notice, I responded as nonchalantly as I could.

“Wow, you thought that far ahead? Our Gye Joonmin’s playing chess moves ahead. As expected from someone who was always in the top three in school, you’re different, aren’t you?”

“Fuck, don’t call me like that. It gives me chills.”

Gye Joonmin scratched his forearm over his clothes. His shuddering reaction made me want to tease him more.

“Yoogyeol’s so touched he’s about to cry.”

I made exaggerated sobbing noises, pretending to wipe tears. Even I felt like gagging doing it.

“You bastard, stop it.”

Unable to take it, he snapped angrily. This seemed to hit harder than a punch. Gotta remember this. I’ll use it next time I’m backed into a corner.

When we got to the trauma ward, we were, as usual, turned away at the door. The treatment ban hadn’t been lifted yet. The staff shooed us off like we were peddlers, but I wasn’t fazed. It’s not like this was new.

I thought about explaining that this time it wasn’t from fighting Gye Joonmin but gave up. It’d sound pathetic.

There weren’t any injuries serious enough to beg for treatment. The scratches stung, but disinfecting them would do. The spots where Doshihu hit me or clamped my thighs would probably bruise. Still, they weren’t bad enough to need a hospital or a healing Esper. Just a few days of looking ugly and hurting when pressed.

“You sure you don’t need a hospital?”

“I didn’t go when you hit me harder than this.”

My retort left Gye Joonmin speechless. His concern felt so unfamiliar.

Wait a sec. Didn’t he say he can’t use his abilities on civilians? I heard it’s dangerous because it overloads the brain. But earlier, he used his ability to boost my physical capabilities, didn’t he?

“Gye Joonmin.”

“What.”

“You can’t use your abilities on civilians, right?”

“That? It’s not that I can’t, I just don’t. Using it on civilians requires suppressing and controlling the power, but the process is complicated and annoying.”

“Really?”

So he took off the piercing earlier because it needed more complex control.

Oh, and he removed one control device. Is that okay?

“Is it fine to take off a control device like that? Won’t you get in trouble?”

“One’s fine. Inside the center’s premises, I can remove up to three without prior approval.”

“Does it feel different when you take it off?”

“It increases the usable capacity of my ability, so it’s definitely easier. With one off, I can manipulate a civilian’s body without issue.”

Listening to his explanation, a question popped into my head. Couldn’t I just take off a piercing or two and overpower him? Is he really that fair? Overflowing with Olympic spirit or something?

Unable to resist my curiosity, I asked.

“Why don’t you use your ability when we fight?”

“…Because that’d be unfair.”

…Seriously. Did he think I’d be touched? Hah, come on. So what if he’s all about fairness? If he thought I’d be happy about this, he’s mistaken. Geez, ugh…

God, this is driving me nuts. What is this guy? What’s his deal?

As if it just occurred to him, Gye Joonmin pulled the piercing from his pocket and put it back in his ear. Watching him, another curiosity struck me. Since we’re here, let’s get all my questions answered today.

“I’ve got something I’m curious about.”

“What.”

When we first met after the matching results, Gye Joonmin wore rings on eight fingers. Back then, his control devices were definitely rings. But at some point, they switched to piercings. Did his taste change?

“Why’d you switch from rings to piercings?”

“P-piercings perform better than rings.”

He stuttered, uncharacteristically. It was brief, but I heard it clearly. There was a hint of him hiding something. It felt like there was another reason, but judging by his reaction, he wouldn’t tell me even if I pressed.

Well, that’s a relief for me. Imagine getting hit by a fist with eight rings. That’s not just knuckles—it’s a weapon.