I’m Not Your Fated Guide, But… – Chapter 4.2 – #04 Guiding Causes Muscle Loss

Author: nicotine

The maze-type gate was vast, complex, and troublesome. To sum it up in one sentence: we’re basically dead.

In front of the center director, we pleaded desperately, groveled, and even tried acting cute.

It was all useless. Apparently, since we had a history of breaking the statue’s finger, we were subject to harsher punishment. Wait, how did the director know about the statue’s pinky incident…? Did the operations team leader snitch? Ugh, there’s not a single person in this world you can trust…

Before entering the gate, we double-checked our equipment. Just then, Gye Joonmin’s smartphone rang. Wow, my phone’s showing “no service,” but this guy with his fat paycheck must be on some premium plan.

Gye Joonmin’s face hardened the moment he saw the caller ID.

“I’ll take this call real quick.”

“Okay.”

His voice carried on the wind from around the corner as he spoke.

“Yes, this is Gye Joonmin. …Please keep investigating. Yes. I don’t care how much it costs. Just proceed without worrying about expenses.”

Ah… I think I know who’s calling.

Even with the government searching for Gye Joonmin’s imprinted guide, they still hadn’t found any trace of him.

Naturally, Gye Joonmin wasn’t satisfied with those results. He’d been pouring his own money into hiring private investigators, agencies, and errand services… even dipping into some shady connections. That’s how desperate he was.

Gye Joonmin received regular updates from the agencies he’d hired. Today must be one of those days.

From the sound of the conversation, it seemed there was no progress this time either. A damp melancholy settled in Gye Joonmin’s voice.

It was a sight I’d seen often enough to be familiar, but it tugged at my heart every time. I wanted to walk over, wrap my arms around his shoulders, and comfort him. Well, I’ll just imagine it and not actually do it. A fist would probably come flying my way immediately. Gotta hold back.

Why hasn’t that person shown up after all this time? Where could they be hiding that even a nationwide search can’t find them? You’d think they’d surface by now.

Does he know how desperately Gye Joonmin wants to see him? Judging by his absence, probably not. Or maybe he knows but can’t come for some reason.

The Uju hyung Gye Joonmin talks about was always kind. I only heard bits and pieces, but it was clear Uju hyung cared deeply for Gye Joonmin. Even I, who wasn’t there, could tell. It didn’t seem like someone who’d ignore Gye Joonmin’s struggles.

“Please, please do your best.”

Gye Joonmin was disappointed but not resigned. The call ended with his earnest plea.

Unlike me, he didn’t waver or doubt. His faith was unshakable.

That’s why I like you more. You’re the opposite of me, who sometimes gets caught up in distrust. I envied Gye Joonmin for having something I didn’t. I should take a page from his book.

“Sorry. Kept you waiting?”

“Nah.”

“Let’s check this before we go in.”

Gye Joonmin pulled out a document and spread it open. It was the gate inspection plan.

A gate with its core extracted—meaning a cleared gate—becomes inactive. But in rare cases, the core can regenerate, turning it back into an active gate.

Think of active gates as active volcanoes and inactive gates as extinct ones. The problem is, some gates thought to be extinct are actually dormant. When a dormant volcano turns active, it’s a headache.

To prevent this, regular inspections are needed. The core might regenerate in its original spot or pop up somewhere random. So, you have to scour the entire gate for signs of activity.

Inactive gate inspections are grueling, tedious, and time-consuming. Though classified as the lowest risk and difficulty, everyone dreads them for a reason. Plenty of people sent on “gate tours” come back complaining of muscle aches.

That’s why we’re here as punishment. Ugh, I’ll never fight in front of that statue again.

For a gate of this scale and maze structure, they’d usually send about twenty people. But it’s just the two of us.

What’s the difference between this and being told to clean a ten-story building with a toothbrush? If I had to choose between “inspecting an inactive maze gate as a duo” and “cleaning a ten-story building with a toothbrush,” I’d pick the latter without hesitation.

The more I read the plan, the more absurd it felt. We had to check the status of suspicious areas—78 of them. Not 7, not 8, but 78. Are they insane?

Checking 78 spots in our house would drive me nuts, and we’re supposed to do it in this massive place, just the two of us?

“What? Estimated completion time is three days, two nights?”

“Damn it.”

Gye Joonmin cursed at my shocked outburst.

“Should we quit the center?”

“…”

“What, no answer? Don’t wanna give up that fat paycheck?”

“You idiot, what do you think happens if an esper leaves the center before retirement? They’d get shot on the spot.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

I apologized awkwardly. Getting shot is a bit much.

We dove back into the plan with focus.

The director’s intent was obvious. It’s an inactive gate, so it’s not dangerous. Stick the two of us in a confined space to bond. Ugh, so predictable. Can’t they change it up?

We’ve lived together for four years and still ended up like this. A three-day gate inspection won’t magically make us buddies. The director’s too optimistic about the world. That’s a bad habit. They need to fix it.

What’s worse, this gate… doesn’t hold good memories for Gye Joonmin.

It was an illegal gate run by an anti-center group. They deliberately didn’t clear it, harvesting beast fluids and eggs instead. Kidnapped or sold people were forced to work like slaves.

Nine years ago, when the center rescued those people, they cleared this gate too.

“You okay?”

Gye Joonmin instantly understood my vague question.

“Of course.”

“Tell me if it’s tough.”

“I don’t mind coming here. I always volunteered for inspection periods.”

Oh, I didn’t know that.

“Got it.”

“I come here hoping to find traces of Uju hyung. Even outside inspection periods, I make time to visit.”

This place must be filled with painful memories for Gye Joonmin, yet he says he doesn’t mind coming here and smiles. Not a forced smile, but a genuine one.

Is Gye Joonmin just that strong, or is facing his painful past bearable because… his memories with Uju hyung are that precious? Probably the latter. He’s still struggling, after all.

We studied the plan thoroughly and entered the gate. The moment we stepped in, chills ran through my body.

Even if it’s inactive, a gate is a gate. The sensation of entering an alien realm was deeply unsettling. Not just uncomfortable—more like instinctive fear.

The main passage was wider than expected. Even with both of us stretching out our arms, we couldn’t touch the walls. The walls looked like clay at a glance, but being a gate, they were likely something else.

The maze-like paths twisted and turned, with glowing stones embedded in the walls at regular intervals. They were specially processed low-grade beast cores. Thanks to them, the passage wasn’t dark. A relief for me.

“Don’t stray from the main passage. The other paths don’t have glowing stones, so they’re dark.”

“Huh? Okay.”

“If we get separated, stay where you are. I’ll come find you.”

“Got it.”

“It’s an inactive gate, so it’s not dangerous, but the structure’s complex, and some paths are broken or collapsed, so be careful.”

“I’ll be careful.”

Gye Joonmin gave warnings, and I responded. We repeated this several times.

This feels familiar. In first grade, my sister did this every day on the way to school. Look both ways before crossing, don’t follow strangers, don’t buy junk food. And she was only in fourth grade herself…

Back then, I got sick of hearing the same things. Later, I’d cover my ears and run when she opened her mouth. Now I regret it. She was just worried about me—I should’ve listened.

“I’ll be nearby, but don’t let your guard down.”

“Of course.”

After several “got it”s, I escaped the nagging. It was for my sake, so I didn’t mind. My eardrums hurt a bit, though.

“Let’s go.”

I walked side by side with Gye Joonmin down the passage. Coordinates were marked on the walls at forks. Gye Joonmin moved without even glancing at them.

“It’s brighter than before. The center’s been maintaining it bit by bit.”

“Oh, the center’s actually working hard.”

“Nine years ago, it was darker. Just a small flashlight to light the way.”

“Ugh, I couldn’t handle that. I hate dark places.”

Surprisingly, I said it casually. I shocked myself. It felt strange yet refreshing. I used to hide it at all costs, wanting to bury it.

Since that blackout, I’ve changed. I can’t pinpoint exactly how, but I know I’m better than before.

Eight years ago, I spent every night in tears. To distinguish reality from unreality, I dwelled on those moments over and over. I asked myself countless questions, always leading to self-blame. The more it happened, the more my heart wore down, chipped away until it crumbled. That’s when I started taking meds.

At some point, I began desperately avoiding painful memories. Maybe it was an instinct to survive. That’s probably why I feared the dark—it brought back that day.

Still, I pretended to be fine. I didn’t want to burden others. I thought I had to endure alone, that this pain was mine to bear.

I, who hated showing weakness to others, opened up to Gye Joonmin for the first time. It wasn’t as bad as I thought.

Eight years ago, Gye Joonmin reached out to me, and this time, he pulled me up again. He probably doesn’t even remember or think much of it. But that’s okay. I know.

“You managed to survive in a place like this.”

“Living in darkness so long probably dulled the blow of going blind. Lucky, right?”

Gye Joonmin mumbled nonchalantly.

Idiot. That’s not lucky.

I swallowed those words. It’d be better if he were sad or angry. Talking about it so calmly, like it’s someone else’s story, hurt my heart more.

I’m getting better bit by bit because of you, but you’re not. You’re still wandering in your painful past.

That’s not right. If only I’m getting better, you’re too pitiful. You need to get better too.

I want to lift the dark, heavy emotions weighing you down. I want to do something for you. Just as you saved me, I want to save you.

I’m not significant enough to you to pull you up from below on my own. That’s Uju’s role.

All I can do is hold your hand and keep you from sinking further… at least until he returns. I want to believe I can do that much.

“Still, you can’t go blind.”

“Why?”

“You wouldn’t see the beauty of my kimbap.”

“What? You made kimbap?”

I pulled a lunchbox from my backpack. With a dramatic “ta-da,” I opened it, revealing kimbap I’d woken up at dawn to make. Gye Joonmin stared at it, stunned, as if he hadn’t expected it. I said proudly,

“Know what’s special about this kimbap?”

“What?”

“Instead of regular ham, I used Spam, the stuff only rich folks eat.”

“…”

“What, you don’t like Spam?”

“You.”

“…?”

“Are you a genius?”

Thanks to the Spam, the kimbap was delicious. Gye Joonmin kept praising it, saying regular ham kimbap would feel bland now. The ultimate compliment. This guy’s hooked on my kimbap.

Next, I’ll show him my signature yubu chobap. Add finely chopped Spam—magic ingredient—and it’s heavenly.

Gye Joonmin and I devoured the kimbap and walked ten minutes to the base camp. We dropped our gear, and I felt alive again without the heavy backpack.

We headed to the nearest inspection area.

“You could get there faster through that shortcut, but let’s stick to the main passage.”

Gye Joonmin pointed at a hole in the corner.

“Why not take the shortcut?”

“It’s narrow and dark.”

“Oh.”

“You hate dark places, right?”

“Yeah, I really hate them. Like, the most in the world.”

The more I said it, the more it felt like nothing. Like disliking beans, commuting, or wet shoes on rainy days. It wasn’t fear anymore—just a preference.

“Alright then. The main passage isn’t much of a detour.”

“Still, wouldn’t it be better to finish faster?”

“Don’t worry, punk. I know the way, so if we hustle, we can finish in two days, one night.”

“That’s music to my ears.”

“Let’s go this way.”

“Okay.”

I followed where he pointed. This guy’s looking out for me, right? I’m kinda happy. He’s got a sneaky kind side.

Savoring the warm feeling, I slowed a bit. Gye Joonmin glanced back and said,

“Man, I can’t keep up with a 180cm guy. Your mobility’s so bad, you’re slow as hell.”

Anger surged. This guy’s got a knack for pissing people off.

“Shut up, you jerk.”

I take back calling him kind or warm. This guy never misses a chance to jab at my height.

The moment I leave this gate, I’m booking a growth clinic. I’ll beg for injections even as an adult.

Thanks to Gye Joonmin’s navigation skills, the inspection went quickly.

“Let’s call it a day and head back to base camp.”

“Sounds good.”

Thanks to his systematic plan, we checked 40 spots today. At this rate, we could head home by tomorrow afternoon.

The paths narrowed and widened unpredictably. Open spaces appeared out of nowhere. The structure was insanely complex. Without Gye Joonmin’s memory or a map, you’d get lost easily.

Gye Joonmin stopped me with his arm. He knelt to check the ground, then continued. He’d done this several times.

“What’s up? Something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, just uneasy.”

“About what?”

“When I was chased by a beast before, the ground collapsed, and I fell. Probably from about that height.”

He pointed at a cliff across from us. My jaw dropped at the dizzying height. I’m not great at estimating, but it looked at least 20 meters. Surviving a fall from there is impressive.

“You fell from that high?”

“Maybe it would’ve been better if I’d died then.”

My heart sank at those words. He lowered his eyes and smiled bitterly. Ugh, that face again—he looks like he’s about to cry. I hate when he makes that expression.

Being in a place stained with painful memories must be dragging his thoughts downward. Plus, there’s no sunlight, and it’s damp—a perfect recipe for depression.

I put force into my fist and punched his stomach. Caught off guard, Gye Joonmin grunted and doubled over.

“You crazy bastard, why say stuff like that? If you’d died, you wouldn’t have met Uju hyung.”

Or me. I’d have died that day too, in the pitch-black darkness, despairing as no one came for me, alone with my loss.

Since I threw the first punch, I expected a counterattack. I raised my arms to guard, but surprisingly, he stayed calm.

“You’re right. That’s how it goes. If I’d died, I wouldn’t have met Uju hyung.”

“So don’t talk like that again.”

“Or you, Won Yoogyeol.”

He chuckled lightly and pressed the top of my head.

What’s this…? Is he trying to make me emotional? Trying to kill me with feelings? This guy’s a total lunatic, isn’t he?

Is Gye Joonmin memorizing a list of “Lines to Make Won Yoogyeol Emotional” every night? There’s no other explanation.

“What good came from meeting me? All you remember is getting beat up.”

I hid my feelings and snapped back gruffly.

“Honestly, you got beat up more.”

“I think I won by a slight margin.”

“No way.”

“Wanna ask people?”

“You sure?”

“Of course. Let’s send a center-wide message for a poll. Three days, not too long or short. Anonymous, no duplicate votes.”

I blurted out whatever came to mind. I barely knew what I was saying. Gye Joonmin laughed, incredulous, at my nonsense. It was much better than that weary smile earlier.

Back at base camp, we prepped dinner. We brought our dog bowls from home—no sense of incongruity. Switching to camping brand dishes was a good call. Man, this is fun. I’m so happy I could cry.

For dinner, we went with instant ramen. Six packets went into boiling water, plus two eggs cracked in.

I believe ramen noodles should be al dente, but outdoor ramen tastes good even when overcooked.

After scarfing down ramen mixed with rice, I felt alive. Patting my full stomach, I started setting up for bed.

As I spread out my sleeping bag, Gye Joonmin came into view. He was standing still, staring into the distance.

This guy’s at it again. I’ve got the perfect cure for that.

“Hey, Jerk-min.”

“What.”

He turned to look at me. I rummaged through my backpack and pulled out my secret weapon. The moment he saw it, his eyes widened.

Man, lugging that beer up here nearly killed me.

“When did you even bring this?”

“Everyone who’s done gate inspections says beer hits the spot, so I packed some. How’s that for preparation?”

I made a big show of setting the beer pitcher bottle on the ground.

“This thing was so heavy I thought I’d die.”

“You should’ve told me.”

“What?”

“I could’ve carried it for you.”

Anger surged suddenly. I grabbed his collar and shook him.

“You jerk, why didn’t you say so earlier? My shoulder blades nearly shattered hauling this thing!”

“You didn’t say anything—how was I supposed to know?”

Gye Joonmin grumbled, sounding exasperated.

“Don’t you get it? You’re supposed to notice when I’m struggling and take it!”

“Stop spouting nonsense.”

“Oops, caught me.”

I pulled out some dried snacks from the backpack’s inner pocket. They were light and compact, so I’d packed plenty.

After setting up the snacks, we sat facing each other. The beer was a bit lukewarm, which was a shame. Ice would’ve been perfect, but that’d mean hauling an icebox. Climbing with that… damn it, just kill me.

We clinked our cups lightly and sipped the beer. The fizz sliding down my throat was incredible. If only it were a bit colder—it was slightly disappointing.

Come to think of it, we’d never drunk together before. What a time to be alive. Me, drinking alone with this guy. Should I thank the center director for this opportunity? Maybe I’ll bring snacks next time I visit.

Chuckling, I poured beer for Gye Joonmin. He must’ve appreciated my effort because he accepted it politely with both hands. The beer sloshed in the paper cup.

Man, I should’ve had a drink with my sister too. In the dark, she’d said we’d drink together after her college entrance exam. She was done with it, but I was still in middle school. When I pointed that out, she said it was fine for a minor to drink with an adult. Thinking back, it’s ridiculous. She had a habit of saying whatever popped into her head. Still, I wish we’d shared a drink.

I quietly watched Gye Joonmin sip his beer pathetically. Then, something welled up inside me.

“You jerk, get your guiding on time.”

With anger, I chucked a piece of dried pollack at his pretty face.

Normally, Gye Joonmin would’ve caught it mid-air with ease. But this time, it smacked him square in the face.

That wasn’t all. He picked up the pollack that fell to the ground and popped it into his mouth, chewing away.

This guy, who’s usually obsessively clean, eating something off the ground? A sight you couldn’t pay to see.

Wait, is he drunk? His cheeks were flushed red. Seriously? Drunk off a few sips of beer?

With that face, that physique, that personality, and he’s a lightweight? No way, that’s absurd.

“I get it when I need it, so it’s fine, right? My levels are stable too.”

“Stable levels aren’t enough. It’s bad for your body. You gotta stay healthy until you meet Uju hyung.”

“I can’t hurt you just to make my life easier.”

Huh, his speech is slurring a bit…

“Since when did you care about me like that?”

Instead of answering, Gye Joonmin tried to chug the beer in his cup.

I quickly grabbed his wrist. I had no idea what his tolerance was, so I stopped him first.

“For someone who avoids guiding because it might hurt me… you sure threw a fit at first. What was it? Something about a promotion tool?”

At my words, Gye Joonmin flinched. I felt the tremor through his wrist. Clear agitation.

“That was…”

Gye Joonmin mumbled.

“There was a reason.”

“What?”

I remembered what he said after calling me a promotion tool. Oh, right—calculating scum, wasn’t it? Definitely not something he’d say without a reason. Something must’ve happened.

“…”

“If you don’t wanna talk, you don’t have to, jerk. I won’t die without knowing.”

“Okay.”

“But…”

“But?”

“Be nice to me.”

“How much nicer can I get?”

“Is this guy insane? Where’d your conscience go, huh?”

Even Gye Joonmin seemed to realize that was too much, laughing awkwardly. I laughed along.

Taking advantage of the moment, he tried to chug his beer again. I snatched the cup from his hand.

“Stop drinking, jerk.”

“Why?”

“What’s your tolerance?”

“Dunno.”

“You don’t know?”

“Never drank before.”

I gaped at the unexpected answer. Wait, we’re twenty-four. He’s never drunk before? That’s insane.

“Not even once?”

“Nope.”

“Wow…”

He looks like he’d down crates of booze, and this is his first time? He didn’t seem entirely sober. His eyes were half-glazed, cheeks rosy. Even drunk, he’s annoyingly charming.

I moved the cup I took from him out of reach and stuck a piece of dried fish in his mouth.

He munched on it sluggishly, looking adorable. Staring at him, I opened my mouth.

For eight years, I’ve buried a question in my heart.

Now, maybe now.

Could I ask him? Could I get a clear answer this time?

Gye Joonmin would know the reality that drove me to the edge, whether it was true or false. He was the only one who could give me an answer.

I need to ask him. I need to hear it. I have to.

Softened by alcohol, Gye Joonmin might answer honestly now.

…What he saw at the accident scene that day.

Summoning my courage, I spoke.

“Hey, Gye Joonmin.”

“Yeees?”

His slurred, drawn-out response was cute. I ended up chuckling and shaking my head.

“Nothing.”

Not yet, it seems. I’m not ready.

I thought I was over it, but maybe not this part. Should I wait a bit longer? When will I be able to ask him for sure?

I shoved another piece of jerky into Gye Joonmin’s mouth. I expected him to turn away or spit it out, but he ate it obediently. His chewing was unnecessarily cute.

Watching him munch on jerky for ages, I poured myself more beer. This guy looks like a heavy drinker but is secretly weak to alcohol. You can’t trust appearances.

Sipping my beer slowly, I suddenly heard an ominous sound.

No way…

The regular sniffling made me freeze. It’s just me and Gye Joonmin here, and it’s not me. That leaves one answer.

Damn it, I’m screwed. Is his drunken habit crying?

Praying it wasn’t true, I checked Gye Joonmin’s state. He was clutching a bag of grilled squid like it was the world’s greatest treasure, tears streaming down his face. My head throbbed at the sight.

I got up and approached him. Tears clung to his long lashes like dewdrops. The pitiful sight sent my protective instincts into overdrive. Can a 192cm giant of a man coexist with protective instincts? I wondered, but seeing him, I got it. Yeah, they can.

“…want to see.”

“What?”

“I miss him…”

I didn’t need to ask who he missed. I gently patted his back as he sobbed. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

I could’ve teased him for crying like a kid, but I wasn’t in the mood. I just felt sorry and heartbroken.

It was a while before the sobbing stopped. I helped Gye Joonmin up and dragged him to the sleeping bag. His pure muscle mass made him feel like a ton.

I carefully stuffed him into the sleeping bag. His long limbs made it tricky.

After the grueling task, as I zipped up the side, Gye Joonmin’s eyes shot open. Maybe he’s sobering up.

“Won Yoogyeol.”

Nope, not at all. His pronunciation was awful.

“What.”

“Thanks.”

“…”

“I’m glad I met you…”

With that, he closed his eyes again. His steady breathing suggested he was out cold. His soft snores sounded childlike.

I stepped back quietly. I stared at the sleeping Gye Joonmin for a long time. It felt strange.

My eyes suddenly burned. I blinked desperately to hold back tears. I didn’t know I had this awful drunken habit. I shouldn’t judge Gye Joonmin.

I wiped my eyes roughly with my arm. Gye Joonmin was still sleeping, eyes shut tight. I brushed back his fallen bangs and crawled into my own sleeping bag.

My joints screamed from the day’s exertion. The alcohol made my body limp. Despite that, my eyes were wide open.

His thanks, saying he’s glad he met me… it felt like my six years of hardship were instantly rewarded. I must be such an easy guy. Yeah, I’m an emotionally easy man. I’ll own it.

Ugh, what’s this about?

Tears streamed down my cheeks.

☁️

“Ugh, I’m dying…”

Waking up, I was greeted by brutal muscle soreness. I hadn’t felt this since starting exercise, a pain I’d forgotten.

To top it off, my neck was stiff. From sleeping on the ground? My neck and shoulders were so tense they barely moved. Was I secretly raised delicately?

At home, I’d visit a nearby clinic. But this was a gate, and we still had 38 spots to inspect.

Groaning, I ate breakfast. My body ached so much I had no appetite, but I couldn’t wander on an empty stomach, so I forced it down.

Meanwhile, Gye Joonmin looked fine, which pissed me off. Espers are such cheaters. We did the same work, but I’m groaning while he’s unfazed. Isn’t that unfair?

“Let’s clean up.”

“Ugh… okay…”

Instead of a reply, I let out meaningless moans. I felt like a zombie.

Seeing me like this, Gye Joonmin frowned. I mustered what little strength I had to glare at him. Too drained to speak, I cursed with my eyes. What’re you looking at, jerk? Never seen someone with muscle soreness?

He approached and reached out. A cool hand touched my forehead. Uh, what, what’s this?

The pain gripping my limbs vanished. My stiff neck felt normal, like it was never an issue.

“Huh?”

“How’s that?”

“What? What’d you do?”

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah. Muscle soreness is gone.”

“I just made your brain stop recognizing the pain. The pain’s still there, so don’t overdo it.”

“You can do that?”

“Yup.”

“You jerk.”

I grabbed his collar immediately.

“What.”

“Why didn’t you do this sooner?”

“Oh.”

“Did you enjoy watching me groan in pain? Huh? Does it make a difference doing it now?”

“I forgot since I’m fine.”

“Bragging now? Showing off as an esper? Trying to mess with me?”

“You’re complaining even after I helped. Want me to undo it?”

Gasp. I quickly let go of his collar and stepped back. Like a sycophant, I rubbed my hands together to appease him.

“No, sir. My mistake. I’ll reflect. I won’t run my mouth again.”

Right now, Gye Joonmin, who controls my muscle pain, is king. Gotta keep him happy.

We roughly packed up and resumed inspections. Gye Joonmin moved like he’d memorized every path. This way leads to that, that route cuts time…

I was impressed watching him explain. Does he have a map in his head?

“Wow, you really know the way.”

“It looks complex, but there’s a pattern.”

“Really? Looks like a tangled maze to me.”

“Uju hyung taught me.”

“Oh.”

Gye Joonmin smiled bitterly, probably recalling old memories.

“So what’s this pattern? Teach me.”

He said it was simple. I asked, hoping to learn, but regretted it instantly.

Gye Joonmin went on about fractals, self-similarity, and nested structures, and I didn’t understand a tenth of it. Too proud to admit it, I nodded like I got it.

But his look told me he didn’t expect me to understand. That pissed me off for a different reason.

Cursing my ancestors inwardly, I vowed: this life’s a bust, but next time, I’ll be born with an IQ of 180…

Still, thanks to yesterday’s progress, inspections sped up. We were almost done. All I could think about was getting home.

Man, lying in bed would be heaven. A warm electric blanket as a bonus.

Lost in thoughts of bed, I missed a small gap in the floor. My foot caught, and I stumbled. Gye Joonmin swiftly grabbed my arm.

Regaining balance, I sighed in relief.

“Pay attention, jerk.”

“Phew, almost broke my nose.”

Gye Joonmin scolded me to be careful, ranting for a while. Then he knelt in front of me.

“You okay? Rotate your ankle.”

I did as told. It was fine. He tapped my ankle a few times and stood up.

“Be careful. There are surprisingly many gaps like that. Some are over 10 meters deep.”

“Got it.”

“You’d be in big trouble if you fell.”

“Really? What happens?”

“An esper once got distracted and fell into a huge crevice. That guy…”

Ugh, he’s dragging it out again. I’m dying to know. I elbowed his side, urging him.

“And? What happened?”

“What do you think?”

“He… died?”

“Nope. Found alive, luckily.”

“Where?”

“The Atlantic Ocean.”

“What? That’s insane…”

“A tanker passing by rescued him.”

“Wow, impressive.”

“What?”

“This gate’s drainage is great. Better than our dorm.”

Our 34—no, now 37-year-old dorm always had drainage issues. Weak water pressure, clogged pipes, you name it. I memorized the plumber’s number from calling so often.

Still, being on the top floor, we had it better. I talked to an esper on the first floor once, and they said it’s a disaster down there regularly. Terrifying to imagine. Ugh…

“Come on, let’s go. Next area. Watch your step.”

“Ugh, I wanna go home…”

“We’re almost done. This is the last one.”

“I’m sorry, Director… I’ll never, ever… separate the statue’s head from its neck again… I’ll repent… I’ll atone…”

I mumbled with a voice full of regret as I trudged along. Next time, I’ll absolutely never fight near a statue or any structure. I’ll stick to empty lots or sports fields.

Exaggerating a bit, it feels like I walked 100 kilometers today. Maybe even more. I’ve never been outdone in stamina, but not today.

Did the director calculate all this too? I really hate them. No snacks for them.

Just then, Gye Joonmin, walking ahead, stopped abruptly. Following close behind, I couldn’t slow down in time and bumped into him. Good thing we’re not cars, or I’d be 100% at fault for not keeping a safe distance.

“What’s up?”

I asked as he stood still, staring straight ahead.

“Nothing. Just a place I know.”

I craned my neck to the right, following his gaze. A massive cavern stretched out before us.

The walls were dotted with countless caves, big and small. Some looked over five meters wide, others so narrow a head could barely fit.

A place he knows. Even someone as dim as me could guess what that meant.

“Yeah?”

“Just remembering old times. I used to live there.”

Gye Joonmin pointed to a spot. A narrow, dark crevice came into view.

“That was my usual passage.”

“I see.”

Gye Joonmin started walking again. I followed suit.

Not far along, he stopped again. Something massive blocked the passage.

It was the mummified corpse of a beast. Even dried up, its length was staggering.

“Blood Worm.”

“Bigger than I imagined.”

I couldn’t take my eyes off the Blood Worm. Gye Joonmin explained.

Blood Worms were A-grade beasts resembling earthworms. Less than 50 centimeters in diameter but up to 10 meters long. Their eyes were degenerated, but they were sensitive to sound and had jaws strong enough to crush steel. Their teeth formed six concentric rings. A bite could cleanly sever bone.

Blood Worm eggs were encased in a jelly-like secretion, which, when processed, became a top-tier potion ingredient. These potions rivaled the healing abilities of A-grade healing espers, making them highly sought after.

Their salivary glands and skin secreted acidic fluid, which was in huge demand for industrial use.

The anti-center group harvested Blood Worm fluids and eggs, selling them on the black market to fund their operations.

Innocent people were exploited and died for it. Especially children.

The burrows where Blood Worms lived were narrow and complex, with sections that tightened abruptly. Only small bodies could navigate them, so children were sent in with just a flashlight or headlamp.

Blood Worms were nocturnal, so work happened during the day. But their sensitivity to sound meant a wrong move could get you devoured.

Children had to meet weekly quotas to receive food and water. Failure meant brutal beatings. To keep them small, they were fed just enough to survive.

Throughout his explanation, Gye Joonmin’s expression remained calm. He spoke in an even tone, as if recounting someone else’s story. But the content was unrelentingly horrific.

My throat tightened. You… you survived that place. You endured an unimaginably cruel environment.

What could I say? Could I dare offer comfort? If I let my guard down, I’d burst into tears.

Our eyes met. He genuinely seemed unfazed. His gaze was steady, unshaken. Only then did I relax.

“There might still be rats, so be careful.”

“Huh? Even in an inactive gate?”

“Rats aren’t beasts. They’re unaffected by the gate’s status.”

“Really?”

“They were probably normal rats at first. Some got into the gate by chance, then bred and evolved here. Since they’re from our world, they don’t die when the gate’s cleared.”

“Persistent little things.”

“You’d see how persistent if you met them. They chase prey relentlessly. Nasty creatures.”

He gestured their size with both hands. His descriptions of Blood Worms and rats gave me chills. They sounded utterly disgusting.

Now I understood why Gye Joonmin shuddered at worms or rats. Spending years with those things would make anyone recoil. I felt for him.

“Come on, just one more spot, and we’re done.”

“We can go home now, right?”

“Yeah.”

I’d have to climb down the mountain, but I chose to forget that for now.

The final spot was clear too. Finishing in two days, one night was a relief. Another day, and I might’ve actually cried.

After confirming no anomalies at the 78th spot, I stretched. Gye Joonmin was crouching beside me, probably with sore legs.

I was about to tease him for being weak when he slowly ran his hand across the ground. His touch was cautious and tender. Head lowered, he murmured softly.

“This is where I last saw Uju hyung.”

I looked down at Gye Joonmin, heart racing with unease. I feared he’d sink into sadness again. I was scared the melancholy gripping him throughout this trip would eat away at his heart.

He slowly raised his head. He was… smiling. A clear, almost relieved smile.

I stared, captivated, at the white teeth peeking through his full lips. His upright eyes shone. My heart pounded.

“Yeah, I gotta try harder. I need to find Uju hyung.”

“You jerk, why make obvious things sound so grand?”

I extended my hand to Gye Joonmin. He grabbed it, letting out a grunt as he stood, like an old man exercising at a spring. It was kind of funny.

Suddenly, he reached out to me. Thinking he was attacking, I instinctively braced.

But I was completely wrong. He gently patted my head a couple of times. A soft, affectionate gesture. I could only blink, speechless.

“I’m really glad I met you.”

“W-What’s with the sudden nonsense?”

“Just saying. Let’s head back.”

Gye Joonmin took the lead. I stood there, dazed, then hurriedly followed.

That was close. Won Yoogyeol almost perished here. Cause of death: heart flutter.

Glad he met me? Last night, he was drunk, but now he’s sober. So he meant it.

Sticking by him was worth it. Six years of enduring all sorts of crap led to this moment. This must be what “sweet after bitter” means. Or was it “bitter then sweet”? I’m confused. Whatever, that’s not the point. The real important thing is something else.

Man, I need to treasure this moment forever. I can’t ever forget it.

Even if I can’t stay by your side someday… I’ll live cherishing this memory.

By then, I’ll probably be happy seeing you live happily with Uju hyung. Your happiness is my happiness.

So I hope Uju hyung shows up soon. I want you to be happy even a little faster. Please, let it be so.

They say descending a mountain is harder than climbing. That’s exactly me right now.

Reaching the base, I collapsed on the ground. My body was utterly spent. My joints didn’t just ache—they felt like they’d split.

Thankfully, Gye Joonmin carried my backpack partway, or I might’ve died on that mountain.

Dragging my exhausted body, I went to submit the inspection report. The process went smoothly. As if knowing our struggle, the director sent a helicopter. A true stroke of luck in misery.

Gye Joonmin sat beside me, dozing off. I nudged his side with my elbow.

“Hey.”

“What.”

Woken abruptly, he responded grumpily.

“If you go to that gate again, take me with you.”

This guy gets all broody there, like he’s digging the earth. Seeing it a few times worried me. What if he goes alone and dwells on bad thoughts? He might cry over old memories. I can see it coming. I can’t stand that.

“Why?”

“I think it suits me.”

“You were cursing it earlier. What’s with the sudden change of heart?”

“Dunno. I just like it.”

“Weird taste.”

Gye Joonmin shook his head.

I didn’t argue further, crossed my arms, and tried to sleep. Exhausted, even the loud propeller noise sounded like a lullaby.

I drifted off. In my half-sleep, something firm seemed to support my tilting head.

☁️

Back home, we played rock-paper-scissors to decide shower order. Naturally, Gye Joonmin, terrible at it, lost.

I finished showering first and collapsed on the living room floor. The boiler wasn’t fully on, so a chill crept up. I shivered but had no energy to move. Ugh, I should’ve left the boiler running.

“Hey, you’ll catch a cold. Go lie in your room.”

I must’ve dozed off with my eyes closed briefly. Gye Joonmin, fresh from his shower, was nudging my side with his foot. It annoyed me. Normally, I’d have grabbed his collar, but I was too drained.

“Too… tired…”

“You’ll get sick.”

“Don’t care…”

Gye Joonmin sighed heavily, grabbed my arm, and dragged me to my room. My long legs bumped the sofa and caught on the threshold. He didn’t care, just kept pulling. What a jerk.

In my room, he hoisted me like luggage and dumped me on the bed.

“You crazy bastard.”

“I said you’ll catch a cold.”

Now that I noticed, he looked neat. He’d already dried his hair and changed.

“Going somewhere?”

“Damin and Aunt invited me for dinner.”

Wow, going out for dinner after gate inspection? Esper stamina is a total cheat. The world’s so unfair.

“Have fun.”

I waved lazily from the bed. Gye Joonmin paused, then spoke.

“Come with me.”

His offer tempted me briefly. Should I? I haven’t seen Damin in a while. But I quickly decided against it.

“How can I intrude? Eat lots of good food.”

Thanks to the boxing gym incident, I feel too awkward around Aunt.

“What about your dinner?”

“I’ll figure it out.”

I was too tired to have an appetite. I planned to skip it. Eating alone’s no fun anyway.

“Make sure you eat.”

“Got it.”

I saw him off from the bed. He looked at me quietly, then left. Soon, the front door clicked shut.

I must’ve dozed again. A gentle shake on my shoulder woke me.

“Hey, get up.”

“Huh?”

Through blurry vision, I saw Gye Joonmin’s face.

“Eat dinner before sleeping.”

My head was still foggy. Blinking a few times cleared my sight.

“Didn’t you leave?”

I checked the wall clock. Only an hour had passed since he left.

“Let’s eat. I got seolleongtang to go.”

“Oh, okay.”

Dazed, I followed him to the kitchen. The green kimchi fridge caught my eye, but I desperately ignored it. It’s white. It’s a clean, pretty white kimchi fridge. The green is an illusion. My eyes are just wrong.

Two bowls of seolleongtang sat neatly on the table, steam rising. A plate of appetizing kkadugi was beside them.

I thought I had no appetite, but the creamy broth made my mouth water.

Sitting across from Gye Joonmin, I started eating. The hot broth melted into me. It was rich, like it’d been simmered forever. Just eating it felt rejuvenating.

“Why’re you back so soon?”

“This looked tasty, so I got it to go.”

“What about Damin and Aunt?”

“I gave Damin my card to pick out spring clothes for Aunt.”

“Why not go with them?”

“Just felt like you’d sleep without eating.”

This damn guy. He’s doing this to make me emotional, isn’t he?

“I said I’d handle it.”

“So you were gonna sleep without eating?”

“Damin threw a fit, huh? Chewing me out for not bringing you. Aunt was really curious about you too. Come next time.”

“No way.”

“Why?”

“Guilt stabs at me.”

“Guilt? You do something to Damin or Aunt?”

“…I kinda did.”

“What?”

“Aunt and Uncle once gave me money to get along with you.”

“So?”

“I used it to join a boxing gym and practiced moves on you. I feel guilty every time I see them.”

“That’s it?”

Gye Joonmin reacted like I was blowing a trivial thing out of proportion. Seriously? To a Confucian guy like me, this is a big deal.

“It’s a huge deal to me.”

“They know you used the money for the boxing gym.”

“What? They know?”

My eyes widened in shock. They know? I couldn’t lift my head from shame.

“Yeah, they both know.”

“How? You? You snitched? You traitor!”

“Do I look that free?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re dead.”

“So how’d they know?”

“The boxing gym coach is Uncle’s hometown friend.”

“…Seriously?”

“Would I lie about this?”

I snuck a glance at Gye Joonmin’s face. Not a hint of mischief. He didn’t seem to be lying.

“For real?”

“The coach bragged to Uncle about a genius at his gym, saying he wanted to train you. He suggested entering an amateur tournament, but you declined.”

“Y-Yeah.”

I was tempted briefly. But juggling Gye Joonmin’s temporary guiding and tournament prep felt overwhelming. Emergency guiding was unpredictable too… Plus, tournaments require diet control. Then I couldn’t eat dinner with this guy. So I politely declined.

“You told the coach yourself that you used Uncle’s money to join.”

“Y-Yeah.”

I definitely said that to the coach.

“…The world’s small.”

“So come next time.”

“…”

“Got it?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Aunt wants to go for neungi mushroom baeksuk next month. I’ll say you’re coming?”

“I love baeksuk.”

“Looks like it. Your face lit up.”

“What should I wear? A suit?”