I’m Not Your Fated Guide, But… Chapter 5.1 - #05 So Don’t Doubt Me

I’ve come back from the brink of death before. It was eight years ago, in the spring.

Yooyoung noona and I went out to the city for the first time in a while. It was because she had tried to mend my torn gym clothes and turned them into a rag. No, scratch that—calling them a rag is an insult to rags.

What kind of mess do you have to make to ruin a simple 5-centimeter stitch like that? It’d be hard to do it on purpose.

They were completely unwearable. I should’ve just sewn them myself. I’m not great at sewing either, but I was definitely better than her. Ugh, I should’ve stopped her. It was my fault for trusting her.

Since we were also out of daily necessities, we decided to do some shopping together. Turned into a pack mule, I grumbled while carrying shopping bags in both hands.

“Man, why’d you buy so much water, Noona? My arms are gonna fall off.”

“Boiling water’s a hassle.”

“I’m the one who boils it, you know?”

“You’re a third-year middle schooler now, so focus on studying. That’s my deep intention. Don’t you know a blockhead like you needs to study two hours for every one hour others do?”

“Is that why you got those grades in the mock exams this time? Is that okay for a third-year high schooler?”

“Who told you about that?”

“Taehoon hyung.”

“I’m not letting Lee Taehoon off easy.”

“We should get a robot vacuum too. Since you’re on cleaning duty.”

“Wanna die?”

“A blockhead like you needs to study three hours for every one hour others do, right?”

“Just the first verse, only the first verse.”

Noona lowered her voice ominously. When she got like this, pushing further would likely get me hit. I knew when to back off. Sixteen years of honing my survival instincts had taught me that.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Shut up and pick the dinner menu. I don’t feel like cooking, so let’s eat out.”

“For real? Is that okay?”

It’d been ages since we ate out. I quickly switched gears and started showering her with praise. You’ve got to seize opportunities when they come. Hesitate, and you’ll miss out and regret it.

Noona, who’d just gotten her part-time job pay, boasted in front of the food court kiosk at the mart.

“Order whatever you want.”

So I decided to go big and order ganjjajang instead of regular jjajangmyeon. But before I even touched the screen, she somehow sensed it and started scolding me.

“Hey, look at this timid guy. What’s with the petty ganjjajang? Such a small-minded kid.”

What’s wrong with ganjjajang? It’s delicious.

“I was gonna order something else.”

I denied it, not wanting to agree with her.

“Don’t lie. I know you were going for ganjjajang.”

For some reason, lies never worked on Noona. She always saw through them like a ghost. Sometimes it felt like she could read my mind. Is my face that obvious?

“What’re you getting, Noona?”

“Samseon jjampong.”

So much for lecturing me… I thought she was ordering some fancy dish. When I gave her a cold look, she said shamelessly,

“What? What’s that look?”

I kept silent.

“Watch those eyes, got it?”

I hurriedly looked away. Defying her now never ended well. She looked frail, like she couldn’t catch a bug, but her hands were surprisingly strong. She taught me that size and strength don’t always correlate. I never wanted to learn that.

If she’s gonna nag, she could at least order tangsuyuk. I got chewed out as an appetizer before even eating my ganjjajang.

I was muttering to myself when Noona smirked.

“Alright, I’m in a good mood. I’ll get tangsuyuk too.”

“Yooyoung noona, the greatest beauty of Nakhyun-ro, Buk-gu, Yeonju-si…”

It was a day like any other. We would’ve gone home with full stomachs, put away the groceries in the fridge and pantry, and fought over who got the bathroom first. We’d have competed over the TV remote until bedtime, arguing over which channel or show to watch.

That’s how it should’ve been. If the mart we were in hadn’t collapsed.

It happened in an instant. A deafening roar and ominous vibrations engulfed us. Cracks appeared in the walls and pillars, and the building shook violently.

The floor gave way beneath us. Before we could steady ourselves, we fell, plummeting with the debris.

The impact must’ve knocked me out briefly. When I opened my eyes, darkness surrounded me. Occasionally, white sparks flickered, but they soon faded.

“Noona!”

I called out desperately, and a voice answered nearby. Thankfully, she wasn’t far.

“I’m here.”

“You okay?”

“Ugh, what kind of bolt from the blue is this? Is today cursed or what?”

Even in this situation, Noona didn’t waver. Her calm, almost carefree voice reassured me a bit.

“You’re not hurt anywhere?”

“I can’t move. You? Are your legs okay?”

Only then did I check my body. My arms were fine, and my face stung a bit, but no major injuries.

The problem was my lower body. Something was pinning my thighs. It didn’t feel pierced or stabbed, but I couldn’t move an inch.

“Uh, yeah. Not hurt, but I can’t move.”

“The building must’ve collapsed.”

Her words finally made the situation click.

“I’ll call 119.”

I fumbled in my pocket. My fingers found a familiar shape. Thankfully, my smartphone was still there.

But the screen wouldn’t respond. It looked fine, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t turn on.

“Weird. It won’t power on. Is yours okay?”

“Mine’s dead too.”

“They’ll come rescue us soon, right?”

“They will. Let’s wait a bit.”

“Are we stuck here forever? What if they don’t come? What if this place collapses too? Are we just gonna die?”

Panic and fear crept into my voice, trembling with tears. Noona soothed me calmly.

“It’ll be okay. Just trust me, Won Yoogyeol.”

Her words were like magic. The fear filling my head subsided, replaced by relief.

It’ll be fine. It really felt like it would.

Yeah, I just need to trust Yooyoung noona. She talks nonsense sometimes, but she’s not a liar.

“Okay…”

“Oh no, big problem. Taehoon’s supposed to drop by tonight.”

“What? What if he keeps waiting?”

“Ugh, he’s gonna be pissed for getting stood up.”

“No way he’d get mad over that.”

“You don’t know. That guy’s so petty.”

“Isn’t that you?”

“Wanna die, punk?”

We started debating who was pettier. The debate turned into fierce accusations. Trying to prove the other’s pettiness dragged up incidents from years ago, even back to kindergarten. We lost track of time talking.

I later learned the mart collapse was a terrorist attack by an anti-center group that intentionally triggered an esper from the center to go berserk. A B-grade esper’s rampage devastated the area, and we got caught in it. Being in the heart of downtown, the damage was extensive.

The berserk esper could manipulate magnetic fields, rendering all electronics in the area useless, which hindered rescue efforts. A 5-kilometer radius was hit with an electromagnetic pulse (EMP) that no shield could block.

We survived a week in the rubble like that. Or rather, I did.

☁️

It seems to be raining since morning. The crisp sound of rain, unusual for winter, tapped against the window. On days like this, the song Noona played to death would start looping in my head.

…This is why brainwashing is dangerous.

To be honest, I was tired of “Summer Garden” from hearing it so much, but I didn’t hate it. The lyrics were something like wanting to be a garden where you could rest on a rainy day. Cheesy and cliché, but they had a way of tugging at your heart. I kinda liked it.

Of course, I kept that secret from Noona. If I carelessly admitted it? She’d tease me for days, saying I’m secretly a fan. The thought alone was horrifying.

The house was quiet. I stretched and got up. Today, my body felt unusually light and refreshed.

Strange. Mornings are always groggy, so why’s this?

I soon realized why. The clock showed 8:40.

I snapped awake. It’s a 15-minute walk to the center. I was cutting it close for 9:00 start time.

I practically rolled out of bed and flung open Gye Joonmin’s door. There he was, sleeping like the world didn’t exist. His eyes shut tight looked cute—no, that’s not the point.

“Hey, get up!”

I kicked the guy lying in bed.

“What the hell?”

Falling to the floor with a curse, he opened his eyes. Still half-asleep, he slowly sat up. His barely-open eyes and messy hair were cute—no, not the time.

“You idiot, we’re gonna be late!”

“Huh?”

Finally grasping the situation, he sprang up like a coil.

We frantically brushed our teeth, washed our faces, and rushed out.

We ran until our lungs burned, making it to the building entrance by 8:57. A human victory.

Thankfully, the joint commute ban was lifted, so we could walk in together openly. The treatment ban was also lifted. The director lifted them for completing the inactive gate inspection well. Should I be grateful or not?

Waiting for the elevator, I panted. Meanwhile, Gye Joonmin was calmly fixing his hair in a mirror. A stark contrast to my wrecked state.

We ran together, but he’s fine? Damn espers…

Grumbling, I fixed my messy hair. I’d thrown on whatever, and I looked a mess. Then I noticed something horrifying.

I was wearing a bright yellow sweater, and Gye Joonmin had on a forsythia-yellow hoodie.

“Damn it, get away.”

“Why?”

I nodded at the mirror. Realizing our awful color combo, he sighed.

“Oh.”

I tried to step away, but it was too late. Everyone who knew us had something to say.

“Oh, couple look?”

“…No, it’s not.”

“Did you coordinate on purpose?”

“…We didn’t coordinate.”

“Chick yellow suits you.”

“…It doesn’t suit us.”

“Planned it?”

“…Absolutely not.”

“Oh my, newlywed vibes. You could head to Incheon Airport and fly off for a honeymoon.”

“…”

Damn it…

This felt ominous. I was scared we’d end up cutting a cake today.

Should we play rock-paper-scissors, and the loser works shirtless? But with Gye Joonmin’s body, wouldn’t that be a crime? No one here would get work done. But I can’t strip either. So Gye Joonmin should… I seriously pondered as I boarded the elevator.

“What’re you doing?”

Gye Joonmin wasn’t getting on, even as the doors started closing. He just glared at the entrance with a menacing look.

I held the open button and followed his gaze. A group of people entered, some familiar. They were guides from the esper rampage control team.

“Not getting on?”

Only then did he turn to me. His furrowed brow oozed irritation. Not the kind he’d show over squeezing toothpaste from the middle. Hard to pinpoint, but it felt close to displeasure or hatred.

He slowly stepped into the elevator, still visibly upset. Very upset.

“What’s wrong? Something happen?”

“…Nothing.”

“That’s not a nothing face.”

“Thought I saw someone I know.”

“Yeah? Someone you don’t like?”

“Don’t even want to mention them.”

With that, he clamped his mouth shut and crossed his arms, signaling no more talk. I stared at him through the mirror.

He’s always prickly and full of complaints, but today felt different. It reminded me of our early matching days. Seeing him so on edge worried me, and I felt a bit hurt.

Someone he doesn’t even want to mention? I’ve never heard that from him.

Last time, he called me a friend. Maybe not for robot vacuums, but don’t friends share worries? Isn’t that normal? Are my friends different from his?

I’m a great listener. Over a decade of being Noona’s yes-man has honed my skills. My responses are brimming with sincerity.

It’s a survival skill. A half-hearted reply would’ve earned me instant punishment.

The elevator reached Gye Joonmin’s floor. He gave me a quick wave and walked off.

Something welled up inside. What was this feeling? Anger? Injustice? Sadness? I don’t know.

I followed him off impulsively and punched his broad back. He staggered with a grunt.

“Wanna die? What’s that for?”

“If someone’s pissing you off, tell me. I’ll beat them up.”

“What’s this random nonsense?”

“Just don’t walk around with that sulky face. It’s annoying as hell.”

“Me?”

“Look in a mirror, jerk. You look like your life’s over.”

“Sorry.”

“Why’re you apologizing so easily? Who are you? You’re not Gye Joonmin. Who’s wearing his skin?”

“This crazy guy’s spouting nonsense from morning…”

Gye Joonmin let out a hollow laugh. It was exasperated, but better than before.

“So tell me anytime.”

I waved casually and headed back to the elevator. Ugh, when did I go to the top floor?

Wait, didn’t I forget something important?

The answer came soon. Reaching the office, the clock read 9:02.

I got chewed out for being two minutes late. Told to log my tardiness, I said the system only allows five-minute increments, and got scolded more. I was just stating facts—how unfair.

Exhausted from the lecture, I left the team leader’s office and overheard people talking beyond the partition. The atmosphere was tense.

“Park Hyungtaek’s back here, right?”

“Does Guide Won Yoogyeol know?”

“It was before his recruitment, so probably not.”

“Even after he took over as temp guide, they hushed it up, saying it’s not good for a kid to know.”

“True. It’s not a nice story.”

“Shameless jerk. How’s he walking around with that face?”

What’s this? My name’s coming up, so it’s probably related to me.

I cautiously approached. They noticed and turned to me. Meeting my eyes, they scrambled, pretending to work. It was a mess.

Guide Lee Jooyoung held the mouse upside down. Realizing it was too late to fix, she frantically mimicked clicking the wrong side. Like that’d work.

Guide Kang Seho pretended to read a paper intently. He must’ve grabbed something random from the fax, because he was now deeply analyzing a banner ad. Nice effort.

Guide Jeon Uisoo suddenly answered an internal call meant for the team leader. When asked if the team leader was there, he said no. I just talked to the team leader in her office—what’s he doing?

I was about to press them but stopped. Their efforts were commendable. They weren’t going to tell me anyway.

Instead, I decided on another approach. There was one perfect person for this. Didn’t I just get chewed out by him recently?

I rushed through lunch and searched for my target. I reluctantly skipped my lunch workout.

I considered letting it slide, but something felt off. My name was mentioned, so it’s not unrelated. A gut feeling told me I couldn’t ignore this.

I grabbed a coffee to go from the café. Casually scanning the area, I wandered the fifth-floor hallway like I had business there.

After about ten minutes, a man stepped out of the break room. Long limbs, scrawny build, freckles covering his nose and cheeks. Got him.

I approached the target with a smile. When our eyes met, he fidgeted nervously, clearly aware of his own guilt.

I spoke amiably to the one I’d codenamed “CCTV Accessible Even Without Police.”

“Hello, Esper Han Kijeong. Thanks for your help last time.”

“Haha, help? I just said what I saw and heard.”

He was edging backward, looking ready to bolt. I subtly maneuvered him toward the wall, cutting off his escape.

Alright, time to reuse the “pure-eyed lunatic” persona.

Flashing a gleaming, innocent smile, Han Kijeong let out a squeak and shrank back.

Oh, it’s working perfectly. Honestly, I was a bit deflated after it flopped with Doshihu last time. Thanks to Han Kijeong, my confidence is restored.

“I’m not complaining. I even got cake out of it. The café on the first floor has great cake.”

“Tch, that’s good. I like their cake too.”

“This is my thanks.”

I handed him the coffee. For the record, it was an iced dolce latte. I’d overheard he has irritable bowel syndrome. My petty revenge. Enjoy being glued to the toilet today.

Every time I think about being surrounded by people, cutting a cake amid applause… I still want to die of embarrassment.

He awkwardly rolled his eyes, clutching the diarrhea-inducing coffee disguised as a gift, and asked,

“So, what’s this about…?”

“Just tell me what you’ve seen and heard.”

A while back, there was a rumor that Moon Youngsu was dating another team’s esper. Moon Youngsu had sweet-talked this guy into tracing the rumor’s source. Thanks to that, they caught the loudmouth red-handed and cleared things up with Esper Park Haewon. This time, I needed to cash in on this guy’s help.

“W-What?”

“They say Park Hyungtaek’s back here?”

“Huh? You already knew? Oh, your team told you?”

They didn’t tell me. That’s why I’m here wrestling with you.

“He’s really back?”

I gently opened the conversation. From there, it was easy. This lightweight blabbermouth started spilling with just a nudge. We need to change his codename to “Rumor Vending Machine.”

“So, here’s the thing. I thought he’d never set foot in the central region again, but the esper rampage control team is always short-staffed. With one guide on maternity leave and another suddenly on sick leave, they’re in a manpower crisis. Internal recruitment isn’t an option. So what choice do they have? They had to bring in Park Hyungtaek, even if he’s D-grade. His matching rates are decent across the board. Not as good as yours, Guide Won Yoogyeol, but still solid.”

“I see.”

“My friends on that team say almost everyone hates him. But with the staff shortage, they just grin and bear it.”

“Wow, that’s tough. The rampage control team has it rough.”

I used the enthusiastic agreement I’d perfected with Yooyoung noona on him. It worked like a charm. He got animated and kept blabbering.

“Right? It’s chaos there. But seriously, are they insane? Bringing back a guy who tried mucosal guiding on a barely conscious minor? In the same region, no less?”

“Wait, he tried to touch a minor?”

Unless it’s a dire stage-one rampage, guiding without mutual consent is forbidden. For minors, the rules are even stricter—no guiding beyond skin contact. That’s the center’s policy.

Seeing my reaction, he widened his eyes.

“What? You didn’t know he did that to Esper Gye Joonmin?”

Crazy, crazy, crazy!

I don’t know how I got back to my desk. I stared blankly at the monitor. Without realizing, I must’ve hit the keyboard, because the document was filled with hundreds of “ㄹ” characters.

I pushed my chair back and tilted my head. Anger choked me. I slowly replayed what Han Kijeong told me.

So… eight years ago, before my matching results with Gye Joonmin came out, everyone was struggling with his guiding issues. His levels were bad, and rejection reactions made proper guiding impossible.

That’s when Park Hyungtaek volunteered to guide Gye Joonmin. At the time, Gye Joonmin’s poor levels had him in an isolation ward. Physically and mentally unstable, they’d upped his restraints to fifteen. The restraints reduced his power capacity, even impairing his vision.

In that state, Guide Park Hyungtaek snuck into Gye Joonmin’s room, aiming to guide him to secure a permanent spot. As a D-grade guide, the role of Gye Joonmin’s dedicated guide was tempting. A D-grade guide paired with an S-grade esper gets a huge salary and status boost.

Plus, Park Hyungtaek was apparently quite self-aggrandizing. He wanted the title of guiding an esper no one else could.

Bastard.

Gye Joonmin was sixteen then. Just a third-year middle schooler. What was he planning to do to a kid who couldn’t even see? All for his own greed… Damn scumbag. A guy you’d want to tear apart.

I rubbed my face repeatedly. I couldn’t focus on anything.

I zoned out until quitting time. Without properly greeting anyone, I grabbed my coat and left.

I got on the elevator and pressed the eighth floor. I stood in front of the gate assault team’s office, waiting for Gye Joonmin.

People asked if I was there to meet Gye Joonmin. I responded just enough to be polite. My Confucian soul worked hard despite my distraction. I almost snapped when someone teased if we were leaving together like a married couple, but I barely held back.

After about ten minutes, Gye Joonmin appeared. He walked listlessly, eyes on the floor. His shoulders slumped, his expression dark, like he carried the world’s worries.

“Hey.”

He looked up at my call, eyes wide with surprise.

“Why’re you here…?”

“Just felt like going home together.”

“Huh?”

“No joint commute ban, so why not?”

“Fair enough.”

We left the building side by side. The rain from earlier had stopped. The temperature dropped, making the wet ground slick.

I shoved my hands in my pockets. My fingertips were cold. From the chill or anger, I don’t know. Probably the latter.

“What’s for dinner?”

“Uh, anything.”

“Warm up the leftover seolleongtang?”

“Yeah.”

His reply lacked soul.

“How about jokbal?”

“Yeah.”

“Pizza?”

“Yeah.”

“…Gye Joonmin.”

“Yeah.”

“Wanna drink tomato juice instead of cola with pizza?”

“Yeah.”

…He’s not listening at all.

Normally, I’d have blown up a dozen times, but knowing the situation, I couldn’t.

Is it because of Guide Park Hyungtaek? Is his return shaking him up?

“Hey.”

“Yeah.”

“Something wrong?”

At my question, he stopped abruptly. I stood beside him, waiting.

“…No.”

“That’s not a ‘no’ face. You look like you bit into crap—no one’s buying it.”

“Just… something.”

Gye Joonmin looked at the sky, sighing deeply. White breath spilled from his lips.

Is it about Park Hyungtaek? The question lingered on my tongue, unasked.

“What, get chewed out by the team leader?”

I playfully nudged his side with my elbow. Normally, he’d retaliate, but he just lowered his eyes gloomily.

“A new hypothesis came up.”

“What hypothesis?”

From his reaction, it wasn’t good news.

“Since I’m a mental esper, I might’ve manipulated my own memories.”

“What?”

“The imprint itself could be a self-suggestion I placed. Some mental esper experts agree.”

The idea that his imprinted guide might be a delusion never gained traction due to the imprint’s clear effects. But self-suggestion changes things. As an S-grade mental esper, Gye Joonmin could theoretically use his powers to mimic imprint-like reactions in his body.

He paused, head bowed. I mustered a response.

“That’s not true.”

“I can brush that off. But you know what’s really unbearable?”

“…What?”

“People treating Uju hyung like a figment. He’s so real. I can trace his face with my fingertips.”

Gye Joonmin stared at his hands. His fingers trembled slightly.

I grabbed his hand and stuffed it into my coat pocket. Surprisingly, he let me without resistance. His hand was as cold as mine.

He continued with a sigh.

“I was young, blind, and in an extreme situation. So I might’ve created an imaginary Uju hyung. Does that make sense? He’s a real person. I lived it.”

His lips were turning blue. I unwrapped my scarf and tied it around his neck. His dazed gaze met mine.

“Gye Joonmin.”

“…”

Having been through something similar, I understand. The people denying my words, their distrustful and pitying looks, the painfully clear evidence.

Know what was hardest? I doubted myself. I couldn’t trust me. I shouldn’t have, but I did.

“I’m not you, but I think I get how you feel.”

He doesn’t know my story, so this might sound presumptuous. If he snapped, I’d have no defense. Even if he said, “Who are you to talk?” I’d take it. I shut my mouth and waited.

He didn’t get mad or argue. He just looked at me. We stood silently, gazing at each other.

“I believe you. Uju hyung’s not a figment. Do you?”

“I…”

He trailed off.

The Gye Joonmin I know would never doubt Uju hyung’s existence.

But he looked exhausted. Despite years of searching, he hadn’t found a trace of Uju hyung. The reality seemed to suffocate him. His bloodshot eyes betrayed his weariness.

That’s why I had to speak firmly. It was my role.

I can’t be the meaning of your life, but I can push you forward when you need it.

“Are you gonna deny the Uju hyung you experienced?”

He shook his head and answered in a low voice.

“…No.”

“Then don’t waver. Even if the whole world says no, you have to believe.”

As I finished, his trembling eyes steadied. His tightly pressed lips gained resolve.

There’s the usual Gye Joonmin. I like him, but especially in moments like this. His unwavering conviction was beautiful, nothing less.

He nodded decisively, looking more at ease.

“Yeah, I will.”

“It’s cold. Let’s get home.”

Before I knew it, we were home. Opening the door, warm air greeted us. I must’ve left the boiler on in the morning rush. A fortunate mistake.

I grabbed Gye Joonmin’s arm and led him to the living room. He followed without protest.

I took off his coat and sat him on the sofa. Then I boiled water in the kitchen and made ginger tea. Handing him the cup, he took it quietly.

He stared blankly at the cup. When I sat beside him, he glanced at me, then sipped the tea.

Watching him drink, I cautiously asked,

“What was Uju hyung like?”

“Someone who gave me unconditional love.”

“Sounds like it.”

“Even when he was in pain, barely breathing, he kept trying to guide me so I wouldn’t suffer. I told him to stop, but he wouldn’t.”

“Strong guy.”

“I gave him the name Uju.”

“Oh, your naming skills?”

“Not bad?”

“Pretty good. Name my kids someday.”

“We’ll see.”

Smirking, Gye Joonmin downed the tea and walked to the kitchen. Setting the cup in the sink, he turned and asked,

“What’s for dinner?”

His usual tone and expression. I sighed in relief.

“Wasn’t it already decided?”

“What? When?”

“Pizza with tomato juice.”

“Who the hell pairs sacred pizza with damn tomato juice?”

“That lunatic’s right in front of me.”

“I said that?”

“You did. Tomato juice instead of cola.”

“Don’t slander me.”

“If you hate tomato juice, go order it yourself.”

“Whoever made tomato juice should eat tomato pasta with water.”

I watched Gye Joonmin’s back as he went to order pizza. His grumbling was normal.

Just as you endured the darkness with Uju hyung, I draw strength from you. As you always miss Uju hyung, I think of you when I’m lost in despair.

You, who acts on belief. You, who doesn’t doubt, unlike me.

So I want you to keep believing in yourself. Never doubt Uju hyung’s existence.

Because that’s how I can believe in myself. Seeing your unwavering resolve gives me strength.

Yooyoung noona, I’ll believe. I won’t doubt anymore. I promise.

After a good night’s sleep, Gye Joonmin was back to normal. Too normal, excessively so.

“You idiot, I said don’t squeeze the toothpaste from the middle.”

“If you’re gonna nag from morning, get lost.”

“Squeeze it neatly from the end.”

Ugh, here we go again. This guy lives to make life exhausting.

“Hey, Dog Joonmin, I was thinking.”

I sidled up to him, whispering like we were making a shady deal.

“What?”

“How about liquid toothpaste?”

“Hm.”

“Sounds tempting, right? You can pump it from the front or back, doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, true.”

“It’s a pump, so it’s easy to use.”

“Right.”

“Should we order some?”

“Sure.”

“Shipping’s pricey, so let’s buy a ton.”

“Deal.”

And just like that, a four-year-long issue was resolved.

I fondly watched Gye Joonmin’s back as he washed his face in the bathroom. This is how we adjust to each other. After years together, it’s about time. I was almost moved.

“Ugh, my slippers are worn out, and water’s splashing—driving me nuts.”

Damn this guy…

☁️

“Hey, Joonmin, I’m heading out.”

“Where?”

“To meet someone.”

“Who?”

“Would you know if I told you?”

“You might know.”

As if this guy, who barely cares about me, would know. I answered out of courtesy.

“Taehoon hyung.”

“Oh, the vet school guy?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“Saw him at our place three years ago.”

Right, we did briefly cross paths back then. I didn’t expect him to remember. Smart guys are something else. I can’t even recall what I did yesterday.

“Where you meeting?”

“Near the department store.”

“Staying out late?”

“Nah, I’ll be back before dinner.”

Taehoon hyung is a busy guy. He said he barely squeezed in time this visit. I told him he didn’t have to come, but he insisted on seeing me and took the KTX up. Made me feel bad.

“Then how about doganitang for dinner? I’ve got plans too, but they’ll wrap up before evening.”

“Damin?”

“No. Someone’s been nagging me to meet up. Figure I should go.”

Who’s been pestering him to meet? I was curious but hesitated. Would asking seem weird? Make me look odd?

Instead of asking, I just nodded and left. But who’s he meeting? It kept nagging at me.

Taehoon hyung, who I hadn’t seen in ages, lit up and ran over the moment he saw me. Meeting someone I’m close to made Gye Joonmin fade from my mind a bit.

“Yoogyeol, you holding up okay?”

“I’m good. How about you? Your face looks half-gone.”

“You can tell, huh?”

“But passing the state exam’s what counts, right?”

“Man, don’t even. I thought I was gonna die.”

Taehoon hyung griped about the struggles of vet school. I didn’t get half of it but nodded along. I thought smart people had it easy, but guess not.

“Hyung, you haven’t had lunch yet, right?”

“Nope. What do you want? My treat.”

“Nah, you came all this way. I’m paying.”

“How can I mooch off a kid’s pocket money?”

“We’re only three years apart, you know.”

“Still, you’re always a snot-nosed kid to me.”

Taehoon hyung grinned, eyes crinkling.

No matter how busy, he visited me at least twice a year, always making time. Especially on Yooyoung noona’s birthday and memorial day, he never failed to check on me.

I know he does this because he cares. I’m grateful but feel guilty.

There was one issue, though.

“Won Yoogyeol, you still letting that esper beat you up?”

“Beat me up? I hit him back, you know.”

“That’s not the same as not getting hit. Ugh, it kills me, seriously.”

Yup, Taehoon hyung’s a relentless nagger. Watching him pour out words nonstop, I thought he’d make it as a rapper if he ditched vet work.

Once, when he visited and saw my bruised eye, he was furious. He stormed off to confront Gye Joonmin, only to find him with tissue stuffed in both nostrils. Speechless for a moment.

But only a moment. He soon launched into a colorful lecture that lasted hours.

His nagging was tough, but I didn’t mind. It was all out of concern.

I grinned goofily and linked arms with him.

“Hyung, I’m hungry. Let’s eat.”

“You think you can distract me with this…”

“Let’s get your favorite chicken kalguksu. I know a great spot.”

“You little…”

I’ve known Taehoon hyung for nearly 20 years. We practically lived together, so I know his tastes inside out.

When I was young, after my mom passed and my dad left, my maternal grandma took in me and my sister, now orphans.

We lived with her for 10 years. When she fell ill, my uncle took her in. After that, Noona and I had to learn to fend for ourselves.

I don’t resent my uncle. I’m grateful. He left the deposit on our grandma’s house intact and occasionally sent small sums for living expenses.

That alone makes me think he did his duty. We were distant, seeing each other maybe once every few years. His family wasn’t well-off either. If I were him, I wouldn’t have taken in two kids either. I get it.

Thankfully, the house was on a lease, not monthly rent. Rent would’ve made things tighter.

Since our dad was legally alive, we couldn’t get aid. There might’ve been ways, but Noona and I were too young to know better.

The landlord, Grandma An, took pity on us and never raised the deposit. She gave us side dishes and sometimes pocket money. Thanks to her, we scraped by.

Taehoon hyung was Grandma An’s grandson. Same age as Yooyoung noona and at the same school, they hit it off fast.

Truth is, Taehoon hyung had a crush on Noona for over five years. After she passed, he gave a weak smile, regretting not confessing. I’ll never forget his expression. I learned you can look like you’re sobbing without shedding tears.

After that, he treated me like a little brother. He visited constantly, worried I’d spiral. He took me to the hospital, kept up with my counseling, and stayed up all night when I was unstable.

Even after I got better, he never changed. When I awakened as a guide at 17 and signed with the center, he came as my guardian. His cousin’s college senior’s friend’s sister, a big-shot lawyer, reviewed the contract for me.

Gye Joonmin and Taehoon hyung got me through that time. Without them, I wouldn’t have this ordinary life. Well, if you can call punching people while guiding ordinary. It’s ordinary… right?

After catching up, it was time for him to leave. I saw him off at the station and headed to the department store to meet Gye Joonmin. When I texted, he said he was nearby and would arrive in 15 minutes.

Fifteen minutes. Too short to wait in a café. I loitered around, passing time.

The department store was in the center’s hub, a bustling area. It’s a convenient meeting spot with lots of good restaurants nearby.

But there’s a downside. You run into work people after hours or on weekends. A fatal flaw.

In just 10 minutes, I spotted four center folks. Do they all come here after work? Oh, make that five. Guide Lee Jooyoung from my team.

“Hey, Guide Won Yoogyeol.”

“Hello.”

I nodded, and she said, as if it were obvious,

“Waiting for Esper Gye Joonmin?”

“Uh, yeah.”

I didn’t say who I was waiting for, so how’d she know? She nodded.

“Mhm, got it.”

Her humming laugh felt ominous. It was the same look people gave when Gye Joonmin and I accidentally wore matching colors yesterday. Her expression screamed she’d bring a cake to work tomorrow.

“Just didn’t feel like cooking, so we’re eating out.”

“Right, right. Weekends make you lazy about cooking. That’s why I’m catching a movie with my husband and eating out too. Oh, time’s up. Gotta go.”

“Enjoy the movie.”

“Have fun with Esper Gye Joonmin.”

“…”

It was probably just polite, but it felt weird.

Checking the time, Gye Joonmin should be arriving soon. I scanned for him when a phone conversation caught my ear.

“That little punk almost ruined my life. Damn, he made such a fuss.”

Normally, I wouldn’t eavesdrop. But a familiar name stopped me.

“What’s so important about that Uju or Taeyang or whatever? Shit, it pisses me off. Thinking about getting exiled to that island because of him makes my blood boil. Mucosal guiding—what’s the big deal? Wears out? Does it wear out?”

“Uju” and “mucosal guiding.” That alone told me who he was talking about.

“What? Minor? Man, that kid was already huge. Looked like an adult. Well, his face was pretty, I guess. Could pass for a girl at a glance.”

All aimed at Gye Joonmin. I felt insulted, humiliated, and enraged, as if it were me. Someone spitting in my face would’ve been less degrading.

What does he know? He has no idea how much Gye Joonmin struggles, yet he spews that garbage? How. How dare he.

I glared at the man still running his filthy mouth—Guide Park Hyungtaek. Uncontrollable anger surged.

My chest burned and tightened. I was so furious I could cry.

After doing that, not only does he not repent, but he spouts that trash? He should be begging for forgiveness.

“I’ve got no intention of being your stepping stone, so don’t get your hopes up and get lost.”

“I thought you were calculating, but seeing how dumb you are, maybe not.”

The first day we met after matching, Gye Joonmin said that to me. I now understand the emotions behind those words. His sharp attitude and distrust toward guides make sense.

“Knock it off.”

I shoved my hand between Park Hyungtaek’s face and his phone. Interrupted, he looked up at me irritably.

“Who’re you?”

“Esper Gye Joonmin’s temporary guide.”

“So?”

“What gives you the right to talk about someone like that?”

“Who’re you to butt in?”

“I can’t stand hearing you trash my friend.”

“Friend? You’re just gonna end up servicing him anyway. What kind of friend? How do you handle the rejection pain? That shit hurts like hell. At 92% matching, doesn’t it kill? Got some secret trick?”

“Watch your mouth.”

He ignored my warning and kept yapping.

“That guy’s crazy, right? Hypnotized himself into believing in a nonexistent guide. Man, you must have it rough babysitting a nutcase. Good thing I didn’t take him. Wouldn’t touch him now even for free.”

My body moved before reason. I grabbed his collar. He flailed, but I yanked harder.

“Shut up.”

“Damn it, let go!”

Our height difference lifted his feet off the ground. A sharp force struck my face. His punch had some power. My head snapped to the side, but I didn’t loosen my grip.

My right cheek burned, and something trickled down. Must’ve been scratched by his ring.

“Do you know what you did? And you talk like that?”

“Who’re you to meddle? Did I say anything wrong? Calling a crazy guy crazy—what’s the problem?”

I clenched my fist tight. I couldn’t bear not smashing that foul mouth.

I’ve trained in various martial arts and officially taken down an A-grade esper. If I assaulted Park Hyungtaek, there’d be no leniency.

But that was fine. What’s a suspension? So I get disciplined. Call it the cost of justice. It’s not a loss. Might even be a bargain.

I swung with all my might, aiming for his mouth. A dental bill flashed through my mind, but I ignored it. I’ll dip into savings.

But my fist didn’t land. Someone grabbed my arm from behind.

“Don’t.”

I didn’t need to look to know. That low, resonant voice. Gye Joonmin.

“Let go.”

I wanted to beat this guy to a pulp, especially his mouth. If I didn’t, I’d regret this moment forever. I’d rather die than live with regret.

“Won Yoogyeol, stop.”

“No way.”

Gye Joonmin pried my fingers off Park Hyungtaek’s collar one by one. His movements were calm but forceful. I had no choice but to let go.

He pulled me back, hugging my shoulders. Park Hyungtaek, finally free, glared at me, panting.

“You little shit, I won’t let this slide. You’re done.”

A guy who’d never grasp the meaning of remorse. As I lunged at his audacity, something bizarre happened.

Park Hyungtaek slapped his own face. The sound of flesh on flesh was chilling.

It didn’t stop there. Twice, thrice, four times… His cheeks reddened with each hit. Still, he kept slapping himself with both hands.

I turned to Gye Joonmin. I noticed the empty spot by his left ear cartilage. A piercing was now in his hand.

Park Hyungtaek kept hitting himself. Something the size of a fingernail flew out of his mouth and hit the ground. I didn’t need to check to know what it was.

His face swelled in real-time. Another tooth rolled to the ground.

“Stop, stop it.”

I grabbed Gye Joonmin’s arm. He gave a faint smile instead of answering. I leaned into his arm, clinging.

I wasn’t worried about Park Hyungtaek. I was worried about Gye Joonmin.

“Gye Joonmin, stop.”

The moment he used his power on a guide, it was already out of control. But I wanted to prevent this from escalating further.

“How’s it feel, Won Yoogyeol?”

“What, what?”

“Feeling better? Or still not enough?”

Park Hyungtaek slapped himself again. It was clearly a palm, not a fist, but something sounded like it shattered.

“You think I care about my feelings right now?”

“Want me to aim somewhere else?”

“It’s getting out of hand, so stop. Please, just stop. Okay?”

“…Alright.”

As Gye Joonmin relented, Park Hyungtaek’s body collapsed. I sighed, watching blood drip onto the pavement. He coughed, and a few bloodied teeth clattered to the ground.

Gye Joonmin’s unofficial codenames came to mind. If he was Ribcage Breaker for Doshihu, this time he’s gone full Corn Thresher.

“You’re in trouble. No way you’re dodging discipline for this.”

“Call it the cost of justice.”

I let out a hollow laugh. He’d echoed my earlier thought exactly.

“If I get a pay cut, I’ll cover it with my savings.”

“Nah, I’m not mooching off a flea’s liver.”

“I can’t live with debt.”

“I’m the one in debt.”

Gye Joonmin smiled softly at me. His curved eyes brimmed with warmth. I blinked, caught by the affection radiating toward me. What’s this?

Wait, debt? What debt? Have we ever been tangled in a debt situation? I racked my brain, but nothing came up.

“What debt?”

Curiosity got the better of me. He flinched and quickly looked away. Hmm, familiar. The director did this when I brought up Gye Joonmin’s piercing.

“Your face is bleeding. Gotta put some ointment on it.”

Clearly changing the subject. But he genuinely inspected my face with concern.

His hand on my chin was gentle, without force. The careful touch made my heart flutter.

But what’s this debt? Amid the flutter, my earlier curiosity surged back. Feeling good is one thing, but curiosity is another. They’re separate issues.

“It’s nothing. So, what debt?”

He turned his head. There he goes again. What debt?

“Let’s just get home.”

Gye Joonmin grabbed my hand and led me. I started to follow but planted my feet, nodding toward Park Hyungtaek, groaning on the ground.

“Wait, what about this guy?”

“He’ll manage.”

“He okay?”

“He won’t die. Losing six molars won’t kill him.”

That sounded familiar. Feeling it too, Gye Joonmin grinned at me. A playful, kid-like smile.

We decided to save doganitang for another day and headed home. Gye Joonmin sat me on the sofa, grabbed the first-aid kit, and settled beside me.

The scratch wasn’t deep but spanned wide, from temple to lip.

His touch applying the ointment was tender. Whenever I winced, his shoulders twitched too. Annoyingly cute.