I’m Not Your Fated Guide, But… Chapter 5.2 - #05 So Don’t Doubt Me

“Hey, Gye Joonmin.”

“Yeah?”

Gye Joonmin carefully applied a bandage with a serious expression, then slowly looked up.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“About that jerk. You should’ve told me sooner.”

“What’s so great about that story?”

I felt so upset. I recalled the first day I officially met Gye Joonmin. I mulled over every word he said to me that day.

“So that’s why you were so hostile when we first met?”

“I was immature.”

“How’s that immature?”

His calm demeanor only made me feel more heartbroken. Before I knew it, my eyes grew hot. A tear dropped onto the back of his hand.

“Hey, hey… Are you crying?”

Gye Joonmin, at a loss, studied my face. His long fingers, hovering aimlessly, looked beautiful.

“Cry? Why would I cry? Damn it, I got dust in my eyes. Ugh, this lousy dorm. Why’s there no ventilation?”

In a moment of agitation, I showed him an embarrassing side. I quickly wiped my tears with my sleeve. Seeing me like this, Gye Joonmin burst out laughing.

“Yeah, yeah. Our shitty dorm’s to blame.”

“Did that jerk do anything else after that?”

“Of course not. I was just unwell back then. After that, I took care of anyone who tried that crap.”

“What? There were more? Not just Park Hyungtaek?”

“Once I properly bulked up, they all disappeared.”

“Good. Keep it that way.”

Gye Joonmin knelt in front of me. He clasped his hands demurely and looked up at me.

At this rare angle, I couldn’t help but catch my breath. Damn, his face was excessively gorgeous. Why were his eyes sparkling like that? Did he embed stars in them?

“I feel weird.”

“About what?”

“Someone crying for me.”

“Damn it, I said I’m not crying.”

I vehemently denied it, but Gye Joonmin didn’t seem to believe me at all.

His delicate fingers touched my eyes. He gently brushed a tear from my eyelashes with his index finger.

His expression was strange. His eyes drooped slightly, but the corners of his mouth turned up. It looked like a smile at first glance, but it could also seem like he was crying.

Our eyes met. Gye Joonmin blinked earnestly, staring at me. I thought he was teasing, but his gaze was too sincere for that. He didn’t look away, as if he wanted to capture my face entirely in his eyes. It was maddeningly ticklish.

“It’s the first time since then.”

I didn’t ask what “then” was or who had cried for him. Gye Joonmin gazed at me silently for a while before speaking with a serious face.

“So I’m sorry, to you.”

“For what?”

“When we first met, I unfairly doubted you and said harsh things.”

“…”

“Sorry.”

His completely unexpected words left me dumbfounded. An apology after six years.

My god, an apology from the great Gye Joonmin… to me, of all people…

I’d never imagined this scenario. It didn’t feel real.

Gye Joonmin rejecting me outright, me stubbornly pushing forward, the punches and curses exchanged—that negativity defined our relationship.

Regret? Gratitude? Those weren’t emotions Gye Joonmin would have for me. Anger or murderous impulses, maybe.

That’s what I thought for six years. Until now.

I looked down at Gye Joonmin’s face. His eyes held no deceit. He was genuinely sorry.

Something shifted in that moment. I couldn’t pinpoint what. But it wasn’t bad. I had a vague sense of that.

I forced down the corners of my mouth, which were creeping up, and answered casually.

“You get it, huh.”

Suddenly, something trickled down my philtrum. It wasn’t a nosebleed. It was snot. I instinctively sniffed it back.

Gye Joonmin grimaced at the sight. Oh, right. This guy hates nose-picking.

I reached for a tissue, but something unbelievable happened. Gye Joonmin, the king of all things neat, held a tissue to my nose.

“Sniff.”

“No way. Am I a kid?”

“Come on, sniff.”

Reluctantly, I did as he said. His gentle demeanor made tears well up again.

Sorrow surged. This guy’s life was already tough, enduring all sorts of hardships since childhood… And then that filthy jerk made it even worse. Gye Joonmin, why’s your life so unfair?

I should’ve known sooner. I should’ve beaten Park Hyungtaek to a pulp on a rainy day till dust flew. I should’ve lured him to a secluded spot with no CCTV and committed the perfect crime.

“Won Yoogyeol, don’t cry.”

“Damn it, I’m not crying.”

Despite my words, my voice was thick with tears. I couldn’t stop them. I ended up sobbing loudly like a child.

Gye Joonmin carefully hugged my trembling shoulders. Unfortunately, it backfired. I cried even harder. I wept and wept until his chest was soaked.

It took a long while for my sobs to subside. Seeing me hiccup intermittently, Gye Joonmin chuckled. I was mortified. Where’s a mouse hole? Where did that trespassing hamster sneak in? I wanted to find it and hide.

Gye Joonmin grabbed an ice pack from the fridge. As he pressed it to my puffy eyes, he murmured softly.

“Back then, I was in bad shape. My levels spiked to dangerous, so they increased the restraints. My vision blurred, and delirium set in, making me dazed. That jerk pretended to be Uju hyung and tried to guide me.”

“…”

Bastard. Molesting a minor wasn’t enough—he dared impersonate Uju hyung? I should’ve beaten him myself. I should’ve used all my years of martial arts training on him.

“Because of that, I couldn’t trust anyone. I was on edge every day, scared someone else would try that, depressed over not finding Uju hyung. Everything was a mess.”

“Now? Still like that?”

“No. Fighting with you kept me too busy to think. That was good.”

“Yeah?”

Me too. Same here. When we were brawling, I didn’t have time to be depressed.

Gye Joonmin looked at me silently for a moment. Just as his blatant stare started to embarrass me, a smile slowly spread across his face.

“I don’t hate your guiding.”

“Weren’t you always complaining it hurts?”

“It’s painful, stinging, and creepy, but it’s straightforward and refreshing, like you.”

“You jerk, is that a compliment or an insult?”

“Who knows.”

“Answer properly.”

Gye Joonmin stood, then sat beside me. We sat side by side, catching our breath. The gentle silence was indescribably comforting.

“Won Yoogyeol, want to hear a funny story?”

“What story?”

“So, it was called mucosal guiding, but…”

Gye Joonmin trailed off. Stop pausing mid-conversation. It’s a bad habit.

“What? There’s more? Damn, did he do something else?”

“He took off his pants and begged me to put it in him.”

“Crazy…”

What? Took off his pants and did what?

“Damn, good thing my vision was bad, or… Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it.”

Gye Joonmin shuddered. I was half-stunned, managing only a weird noise.

“Uh… Uhh…”

“Even blurry, I could still see something like a larva.”

“Stop it, you jerk. That’s not funny.”

“I’m gonna puke…”

We both pretended to gag. My stomach actually felt queasy.

Poor Gye Joonmin, witnessing that filth through no fault of his own. Sympathy flooded me. This guy really had it rough.

“Let’s drop this. Never mention it or think about it again.”

“Got it.”

Gye Joonmin nodded obediently.

“Let’s watch puppy videos. Need to cleanse our eyes and brains.”

We watched dog and cat videos late into the night. Exaggerating a bit, maybe a hundred. Only after that effort did our tainted brains feel purified.

Scrolling through the algorithm, a hamster video popped up. It looked cute to me, but probably not to Gye Joonmin. A rodent’s a rodent. He freaked out when the fifth-floor hamster escaped.

I hurried to skip it, but he stopped me.

“Hamsters are kinda cute up close.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. They look okay now. Like patterned sticky rice cakes.”

So we watched about thirty hamster videos before heading to bed.

Cute stuff rules. Long live dogs. Long live cats. Long live hamsters.

☁️

Noona and I talked nonstop to forget our fear and hunger. The silence that would come if we stopped was terrifying. Noona must’ve felt the same, as she kept engaging me.

We talked about childhood, school events, and debated baseless celebrity gossip. We filled time with trivial chatter. When we ran out of topics, we played word chain games.

“Hey, Dog Yoogyeol, want me to sing for you?”

“No way.”

“Yes, sir, taking song requests.”

“I said no.”

“I’ll sing Kwon Jisoo.”

“Ugh, come on.”

Ignoring my protests, Noona started singing. It was “Summer Garden,” which I’d heard to death.

“What’s with that pitch? Is this a folk tune?”

“Our Dog Yoogyeol, running his mouth thoughtlessly. Want a smack?”

“Can’t I give honest feedback?”

“Lost your sense of fear?”

“Don’t you pity my eardrums?”

“Dear customer, you’re quite the complainer. If you don’t like it, cover your ears.”

“It’s spring, so what’s with the summer garden? Monsoon’s still far off.”

“Fine. I’ll take your input.”

Noona switched to a “Spring Garden” parody, changing summer to spring, monsoon to spring rain.

It actually fit well, so I decided not to complain this time. Not because I was scared of her. Really.

The pitch and rhythm were still awful, but I closed my eyes and listened quietly.

When the song ended, something rolled toward me. My fingers touched a familiar plastic surface. A water bottle.

“Drink.”

“You should drink, Noona.”

“I drank earlier.”

☁️

Waking up, my eyes were swollen. Damn it, how do I go to work like this? I’ll get teased for sure. It won’t end today. Horrifying.

“Hey, Gye Joonmin.”

“What?”

“I’ve got a favor.”

“What is it?”

“Can’t you do perception manipulation?”

“What’s that random nonsense?”

“So, my eyes… Can you make them look normal to others?”

“Go ask a Type-4 mental esper for that.”

“Come on, you’re a mental esper too! Do it, please!”

“Don’t ask a urologist to fix a herniated disc. Get lost.”

“Heartless jerk…”

Grumbling, I got ready for work. Annoyed by the noise, Gye Joonmin pressed his palm on my head. Unable to resist the pressure, I stumbled. Damn jerk.

Furious, I punched his spine. We bickered for a while.

We were our usual selves. Fighting over bathroom priority, whining about work, walking together. Just like always.

Gye Joonmin was still annoying, rude, and clueless. But why? He seemed different. Softer, somehow. Or maybe I’m imagining it.

At work, eyes turned to us. I was prepared, so it wasn’t surprising. My nape just stung a bit. I’m used to it.

Entering the office, my teammates swarmed me.

“Stay strong, Guide Won Yoogyeol.”

“That lunatic ran his mouth first, right?”

“He deserved it. So satisfying. No, he should’ve been hit more.”

“We’re on your side, Guide Won Yoogyeol.”

“Thanks.”

They tactfully ignored my puffy eyes. You’d expect someone to ask, but no one did. When our eyes met, theirs wandered, but they tried hard to act normal. Their effort was touching. They’re secretly considerate.

“Here’s a gift to cheer you up.”

Guide Lee Jooyoung handed me a box. A familiar logo. Cake from the first-floor café.

“…”

This is getting suspicious. Are our teammates secretly bribed by the café owner?

I grabbed Park Hyungtaek’s collar but didn’t hit him. Unlike me, Gye Joonmin faced unavoidable discipline. They said it wouldn’t just be a pay cut—worst case, he could go to an esper correction facility, like prison for civilians.

It made sense. This wasn’t like the Doshihu incident, where he had the excuse of protecting his guide after Doshihu attacked me.

This time was different. He used his powers to assault a guide, practically a civilian. Not just a few hits—there was a nosebleed and lost teeth.

That’s what it looked like, but a hospital X-ray and tests might reveal worse. There was no excuse.

Hearing this, my heart sank. Gye Joonmin was facing discipline because of me.

Should I have held back? But in the same situation, I’d do it again.

Feeling guilty and restless, I sought Gye Joonmin. I caught him coming into the hallway.

“Hey.”

“What?”

“You okay?”

“With what?”

“The discipline. They say you might go to the esper correction facility.”

“They say it’s possible.”

His tone was as casual as discussing the cafeteria lunch menu. The more nonchalant he was, the more I fretted, watching his expression.

“Sorry.”

“Why’re you sorry?”

“This happened because of me.”

“Forget it. I’m the one who hit him.”

“Still…”

“Feel that bad?”

“Yeah.”

“Then do me a favor.”

“What?”

“If I go there, send lots of food. Good stuff.”

“What should I send?”

“Doganitang? We didn’t get to eat it yesterday.”

“Alright. I’ll send a whole pot.”

“Don’t forget the kkakdugi.”

We giggled, trading silly banter.

There was some good news. Han Kijeong was there yesterday.

True to form, Han Kijeong spread what he saw and heard everywhere. Thanks to him, Park Hyungtaek’s vile remarks spread through the center. By morning, the work was done. That guy’s mouth is uniquely diligent. In a way, I respect it.

The esper rampage control team formally complained to HR. They’d rather work more than deal with that trash. They’ll likely recruit elsewhere. Park Hyungtaek’s probably getting shipped back to a dead zone.

Before that, he’s reportedly begging to be sent elsewhere. Makes sense—he wouldn’t want to be near Gye Joonmin after that.

He got a four-week recovery for a fractured and sunken cheekbone and six missing teeth. Fractured and sunken from slaps, not punches. Gye Joonmin’s power is scary.

If I’d let it go, how many weeks would it have been? Sixty, like he once said? If not for his discipline, I wouldn’t have stopped him.

People understood why Gye Joonmin went that far. Two petitions are circulating: one for leniency for him, another for harsh punishment for Park Hyungtaek. If it goes well, his discipline might be lighter.

I’m glad Gye Joonmin’s not getting a bad rep. Being labeled a guide-beater for no reason would be too much.

…Wait, then what does that make me? A guide who beats for a reason? The logic’s getting weird. I don’t know where to start picking it apart. Damn it. Being dumb makes this extra frustrating.

“How was Esper Han Kijeong there?”

Was he just passing by? Meeting five or six people you know there isn’t much different.

“I was with him.”

“What? Why?”

Gye Joonmin? With Han Kijeong? Why on earth? Was Han Kijeong the one pestering him to meet? Questions spiraled in my mind.

Even as fellow espers, they didn’t have much in common. They were in different departments and on different floors. Plus, Gye Joonmin wasn’t fond of loose-lipped people like Han Kijeong.

“He said he wanted to meet and started with an apology.”

“Apology for what? What’d he do to you?”

“He said he slipped up. Thought you didn’t know about Park Hyungtaek, but he got played by my leading questions.”

“Didn’t he just spill everything on his own?”

“Figured as much. The rumor-spitting ATM is something else.”

“Exactly. We need to change his codename. Oh, hold on.”

A sudden vibration from my pocket startled me. The team leader’s extension number flashed on my phone.

I rushed back to the office, where the team leader glared at me with sharp eyes. A lecture followed about wandering off and neglecting my desk.

After being hounded by the team leader all morning, I headed to the gym at lunch to work out. Opening the door, I saw someone already there. Doshihu.

Spotting me, Doshihu hurried over eagerly. His prim, fox-like face getting all excited was kind of funny. Maybe because I know his age, he even seemed a tiny bit cute.

“You, you okay? I mean, are you alright?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“What’s with your face? Did that jerk Park Hyungtaek do that?”

“Uh, sort of.”

The scratch was long, peeking out from under the bandage. Doshihu frowned at it. You’d think he was the one hurt, not me.

“This’ll scar.”

“Well, what can you do? Doesn’t it make me look tougher? Like, super strong?”

“No way. I’ll introduce you to a private healing esper.”

I was floored by the Sungmoon Electronics prince’s carefree attitude toward money.

“What? Trying to bankrupt someone?”

It wasn’t like my face was smashed open. Just a scratch. Calling a private healing esper for a minor abrasion? Is he insane?

I’m not some celebrity living off my looks. A scar on my cheek wouldn’t matter. If it’s a problem, I could beg Esper Park Haewon to fix it.

“I’ll, I’ll pay.”

“Huh? Why you?”

“Because I want to.”

“Nah. You gave me an 80% discount on that kimchi fridge last time.”

“That’s that, and this is this.”

“Even with an 80% discount, I can’t afford a private healing esper.”

Suddenly, Doshihu lowered his head. Was he shocked by my words? I was just talking about my modest finances. Is that so surprising?

I wondered if it was a shock to the Sungmoon prince, but something felt off. The atmosphere shifted. I don’t know how to describe it. The noise around me vanished, and the air grew heavy. And… I don’t know. An indescribable sense of wrongness hit me.

A giggle broke the silence. Doshihu slowly raised his face.

The person before me was clearly Doshihu. But different.

Doshihu’s eyes were sharp, but never this eerie. Meeting those cold, emotionless pupils, I caught my breath.

“What’s, what’s wrong with you?”

“Getting interrupted once is fine, but twice? That’s no fun, is it?”

His tone was completely different. Doshihu’s speech had been ambiguously casual lately, but he never spoke with this unsettling edge that grated on my nerves.

I stepped back. My senses flared, instincts screaming warnings.

“Who are you?”

“You’ve cost me a lot. You know that?”

“I said, who are you?”

Danger. I need to run. Now. I can’t stay in the same space as this thing.

As I turned to flee, my arm was grabbed. I struggled desperately, but it was futile. No matter how I thrashed, I couldn’t budge. The strength was unreal, almost otherworldly. Then I realized who this was.

“Rampage inducers—those are crazy expensive. Did you know slow-release ones are harder to get than fast-release?”

“Let go.”

“What if I don’t?”

I glared at Doshihu—or rather, the anti-center group member controlling him.

“What’s your goal?”

“No need to be so prickly. Just making introductions. Nice to meet you. I’m Ji Seonjae.”

Ji Seonjae. S-grade mental esper and leader of the anti-center group. My blood ran cold.

“Why show up here?”

“Heard there’s an interesting guide. One who throws his life into guiding.”

“…”

Ji Seonjae, wearing Doshihu’s face, giggled. Then he abruptly stopped laughing and said,

“I find hypocritical bastards the most disgusting.”

“…”

A loud bang interrupted as the door flew open. Gye Joonmin stormed in.

“Won Yoogyeol!”

Gye Joonmin swatted Ji Seonjae’s hand off my wrist. Ji Seonjae smirked and stepped back.

Gye Joonmin kept his eyes on him, pushing me behind him. He raised a hand to his right ear and… ripped out all his piercings at once. Blood dripped from his cartilage and lobe.

“Your, your ear!”

Ji Seonjae scoffed at Gye Joonmin.

“What, trying to forcibly break the link?”

“Get lost. Now.”

“Cocky bastard. It’ll hit you hard too.”

“Don’t care.”

With those words, Ji Seonjae flinched violently. He giggled, waving at me.

“Bye. See you next time, hypocrite.”

The eerie glint in Doshihu’s eyes faded. His body slowly collapsed, and I tracked its fall.

Doshihu, now on the floor, breathed evenly. His face was serene, like he was asleep.

Blood from Gye Joonmin’s ear stained his collar and shoulder red. The bleeding was heavy.

I was about to ask if he was okay when Gye Joonmin turned.

“Won Yoogyeol, you alright?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“No injuries?”

“Nope.”

“He didn’t do anything?”

“No. Nothing happened.”

Gye Joonmin grabbed my shoulders, checking me over. I was fine. He, bleeding from his ear, and Doshihu, collapsed, looked worse.

“Is Doshihu okay?”

“Yeah. Just passed out. No injuries.”

“You, are you okay? He said it’d hit you too.”

“Me? I’m totally fine.”

“What if Ji Seonjae moves again?”

“I forcibly broke the link, so he can’t mess with anyone’s mind for a while. Don’t worry.”

Gye Joonmin smiled brightly, reassuring me. But the smile didn’t last.

“What’s wrong?”

He opened his mouth as if to say something. Instead of words, blood trickled from his lips. Then a gush of blood and dark clumps poured out.

Amid the metallic stench, I screamed his name. No response.

Gye Joonmin leaned his forehead on my shoulder, mumbling weakly.

“For… now… you’re safe…”

☁️

The center was in chaos. The anti-center group’s leader had directly infiltrated an A-grade esper’s mind—inside the center. On the surface, it was just a conversation, but the situation itself was a massive threat.

The center’s security couldn’t prevent it. Only another S-grade mental esper could stop Ji Seonjae. In Korea, that was Gye Joonmin alone.

To avoid panic, it wasn’t publicized. It was classified as a top-secret matter, with officials handling the fallout.

For now, Gye Joonmin needed to track Ji Seonjae. But his condition was too poor, so they decided to wait.

Breaking Ji Seonjae’s link had damaged Gye Joonmin’s mind. It was like having a chunk of flesh torn out. It would heal over time, but the process would be excruciating.

The mental damage destabilized his levels. Even with constant guiding, they fluctuated wildly.

Yesterday, his levels spiked suddenly, and it took all-night guiding to stabilize them. Staying up with him, I only slept after sunrise. When I woke, it was 1 p.m.

The house was quiet. No other presence. Only faint sounds of kids playing at the playground drifted through the window.

I gently opened Gye Joonmin’s bedroom door. He was sleeping soundly.

Tiptoeing, I approached his bed. His complexion was still poor. This was as good as it got.

I reached for his forehead but hesitated. Is this okay? Even between friends, checking for fever should be fine, right?

Imagining it with other friends, even Moon Youngsu and Choi Hanbit, it seemed okay.

I carefully placed my hand on his forehead. He still had a slight fever. Sighing, I pulled the green blanket up to his chin. His eyes fluttered open.

“Sorry. Did I wake you?”

“No… I was about to get up…”

His groggy, half-mumbled voice was cute.

“How’s your body?”

“Me? Totally fine.”

His pale face said otherwise. He swung his legs out of bed, wobbling from dizziness. I quickly grabbed his arm.

“Hey, you’re not fine. Still can’t see well?”

His fluctuating levels required more control devices. Three more, so his vision was affected.

“I’m really fine. What’s for breakfast?”

“Breakfast? The sun’s high in the sky.”

“It’s that late?”

“Your aunt dropped off chicken porridge and water kimchi. Want that?”

“Aunt was here?”

“Yeah. While you were sleeping.”

“You should’ve woken me.”

I helped Gye Joonmin to the dining table. As I warmed the porridge, he tried to serve the kimchi, but I stopped him. I don’t make sick people work.

“You were sleeping so soundly, I couldn’t. Your aunt said to let you rest.”

“Next time, just wake me.”

“Got it. Damin’s coming this afternoon. Should we order something for then?”

“Sushi?”

“Nice. That place we went with Damin was good. I’ll check if they deliver.”

“Oh, where you two ate fifty plates?”

“To clarify, Damin ate over thirty alone. Is that normal for kids these days?”

“Damin’s always been a big eater. Just shovels it in.”

“Hmm, I think Damin’s got a black hole in his stomach.”

“Could be.”

We warmed the porridge and ate with water kimchi. Aunt’s cooking was always amazing.

“Man, I never thought I’d want to go to work.”

“Not going out and not being able to are different.”

Gye Joonmin smirked at my comment.

After contacting Ji Seonjae, I was put under immediate protection. Gye Joonmin was assigned to stay with me for security. Due to the emergency, his discipline was indefinitely postponed.

We were to stay in the center’s top-security zone, meaning the central area.

Strictly speaking, it was a symbolic measure. Ji Seonjae, who infiltrated an A-grade esper’s mind, could likely breach the zone if he wanted.

But the central area, with concentrated security personnel, was better equipped to respond to unexpected threats. Even Ji Seonjae would struggle against center espers and soldiers armed with anti-esper weapons. Numbers were unbeatable.

Luckily, our dorm was in the security zone, so we didn’t need to relocate.

At first, I was thrilled about not working. Who wouldn’t love a break?

But one day turned into two… By week one, I was going crazy. Being cooped up was maddening.

We didn’t have to stay indoors. We could go out within the security zone, which included the bustling downtown.

But Gye Joonmin’s condition was too unstable to drag him out, and I felt bad leaving him. I’m not that disloyal. The “y” in Yooyoung stands for loyalty’s “y,” and the “r” for its “r.”

While I was losing my mind, Gye Joonmin seemed used to this. Restricted from leaving the center without approval, he’d lived like this for nearly a decade. Experiencing it, I realized how stifling and awful it was. Poor guy. I’ll treat him better.

I looked at Gye Joonmin with pity. Poor thing.

He scooped water kimchi and said,

“What’s with that stare?”

Damn jerk…

“Watch your mouth, Dog Joonmin. Want porridge up your nose?”

His manners were still crude, but something about Gye Joonmin’s attitude had shifted. Like he was subtly concerned for me. It wasn’t overt, but there was a faint, elusive feeling.

Maybe the Ji Seonjae incident lingered. To Gye Joonmin, Ji Seonjae was an archenemy. My direct contact with him would naturally worry him.

Gye Joonmin hadn’t just been a victim. When breaking the link, he’d condensed his power into Ji Seonjae’s mind, like a wedge. It mimicked a control device, reducing Ji Seonjae’s power capacity to a third. Not permanent, but a blow to a mental esper’s pride. A small comfort.

After eating, while we were writhing in boredom at the dorm, Damin visited.

“Yoogyeol oppa, I’m here.”

“Hey, not cold out?”

“Nope. It’s warmed up, so it’s fine.”

I took Damin’s bag as he approached. Coming from tutoring, it was heavy.

“I ordered sushi. It’ll be here soon.”

“Sushi’s great! How’s Gye Joonmin?”

“He just fell asleep. Let’s wake him when it arrives.”

“Nah, let’s eat it all ourselves.”

Damin grinned widely, but his eyes kept darting to Gye Joonmin’s room. He was clearly worried about his brother.

Unable to hide his anxiety, he tried to act normal for my sake. Knowing that made it more heartbreaking.

Damin was still young. An age to throw tantrums and be spoiled. Yet he was so considerate, always mindful of others.

He’d faced hardships young, forced to mature fast. I felt for him.

I wanted to cheer him up. I knew the perfect way.

“Damin, heard Kwon Jisoo’s dropping a digital single?”

“What! Oppa, you heard? The teaser’s next week. Is this a dream? Am I dreaming?”

“Wow, after almost eight years?”

“I never thought this day would come.”

“Congrats. Gotta stick it out to the end.”

“How’s Yoogyeol oppa’s sister reacting? She must be thrilled, right?”

The sudden question shattered my composure. I quickly pulled myself together.

“Uh, probably.”

“Why guess? You really don’t talk?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess?”

Damin’s face slowly hardened. Brief as it was, sharp as he is, he sensed something off.

“Um, Yoogyeol oppa.”

“Y-Yeah.”

“I’m sorry… I’ve been really rude, haven’t I?”

“Hey, why apologize? I didn’t tell you. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“I’m really sorry…”

Damin’s voice trembled as he bowed his head. Oh no, I tried to cheer him up and made him cry instead. I’m the worst trash in the world. Time to reflect, Won Yoogyeol.

I patted Damin’s shoulder and said,

“No, talking with you was great. I’m not lying. I was really happy.”

“Re… really?”

“Yeah. By the way, I bet my sister never stopped being a fan. She swore she’d never betray Kwon Jisoo. She’s probably jumping for joy hearing this news.”

My eyes and mouth kept twitching. I’m terrible at controlling my expressions today. Thank goodness Damin couldn’t see my face.

I was about to suggest watching old videos together when I spotted Gye Joonmin over Damin’s shoulder. His wavering eyes told me everything. Oh, he heard it all.

Thanks to my animated reactions, Damin quickly perked up. By the time he left, he was back to his usual self.

“Damin, let’s watch the teaser together. On the 85-inch TV, no less.”

It’s 85 inches, but there’s a small issue—a pen’s stuck in the corner from when Gye Joonmin and I fought. He threw it, I dodged, and it lodged right there.

Unlike the electronic whiteboard, our TV still works fine. It felt risky to pull the pen out, so we left it. The area around it’s blackened, but if you ignore that, it’s decent enough.

“Okay! I’ll come here after tutoring that day. Let’s watch it together!”

“Of course. I’ll wait without peeking.”

“Pfft, you can watch it first.”

“Gotta stay loyal.”

At 8 p.m., Damin’s uncle came to pick him up. With Gye Joonmin unable to escort him, his uncle stepped in.

Seeing me, his uncle lit up and asked,

“You said we should eat neungi baeksuk next time? Should we invite Hoonpil too?”

Kang Hoonpil was the boxing gym coach I trained under. Caught off guard, I agreed. This neungi baeksuk gathering’s getting bigger unintentionally… At this rate, we’ll need a tour bus.

After seeing Damin off, I sat on the sofa. Gye Joonmin returned from escorting them downstairs.

It was fine with Damin around, but alone with Gye Joonmin, I didn’t know how to face him. Lacking confidence to act normal, I hung my head.

I didn’t mean to hide it. I just wasn’t ready. I’m still weak, immature, so…

The leather creaked as the sofa tilted right. Gye Joonmin sat beside me, murmuring softly.

“I’ve been thinking all day.”

“…”

“Compared to how long we’ve been together, I don’t know much about you.”

“…”

“Sorry. I must’ve been too caught up in my own stuff. I’m a selfish guy…”

I slowly shook my head. I couldn’t agree with that.

Gye Joonmin gave up everything to find Uju hyung. How could he have time to look around? He was so desperate he even gave up on himself.

I’ve watched him for six years. How could I not understand?

Idiot, that’s not selfish. It’s desperation.

“You’ve always helped me, comforted me, guided me right. But I haven’t done anything for you. That… it kills me.”

“Forget it. I didn’t do it for repayment.”

“Before, you said to tell you if something’s up, right?”

Gye Joonmin looked at me.

“Don’t bottle it up.”

“…”

“You can lean on me.”

He reached out, ruffling my hair wildly. Through the shaking strands, I saw his dazzling smile.

“…Really? Is that okay?”

“Of course.”

Oh.

Maybe…

I might be able to say it now. Right now, it feels possible.

A vague hunch solidified into certainty. Today’s the day.

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs.

It’s okay, Won Yoogyeol. You can do this. It’s the moment you’ve waited for. Also the one you’ve feared.

No more running. I’ve avoided and ignored enough. It’s time to face it head-on. I have to.

A resolve settled in my throat. In a small but firm voice, I called his name.

“Gye Joonmin.”

“Yeah?”

“I actually met you before. Eight years ago.”

“Eight years ago?”

“You remember the esper rampage on Yeonju City’s Jungbu-ro?”

“Oh, yeah. I remember.”

“I was trapped under a mart building with my sister. We survived there for a week.”

Gye Joonmin’s eyes widened. He looked kind of cute.

“No way… You were that little kid?”

“Not a little kid.”

He remembered. He didn’t recognize me, but knowing Gye Joonmin recalled that event made my chest tighten.

“You were even tinier back then.”

“Sh-Shut up. No, that’s not the point.”

I steadied my choked voice. My throat kept catching.

I closed my eyes, then opened them. Gye Joonmin watched me quietly.

In the slow silence, I caught my breath. He lightly patted the back of my hand, telling me it’s okay, I can talk. Even without words, his care reached me clearly.

That gave me courage. I gathered the words I’d held for eight years, precious yet fearful. But one thing was certain: it had to be now. If not this moment, I’d never say it.

“Gye Joonmin, I always wanted to thank you. You saved my life.”

“So that’s why you became my temporary guide?”

“Exactly. I wanted to help you, even a little. To repay that debt. And…”

“And?”

“There’s something I need to confirm.”

“What’s that?”

“…”

My mouth wouldn’t move. Despite my earlier resolve, hesitation crept in, laced with fear.

I was scared of the answer. Is it okay to ask now? What if it’s not what I want? Wouldn’t it be better to leave it unknown forever?

I have to know. This might be my only chance.

My thoughts tangled. I hesitated for a long time. But Gye Joonmin didn’t rush me, waiting silently.

After ages, I mustered the courage. I barely dragged out the question I’d held for eight years.

“…Was my sister really killed instantly?”

You’d know. Only you could give me the answer.

They said Noona, my Yooyoung Noona, died instantly. A rebar and glass pierced her abdomen… Based on rigor mortis, she died when the building collapsed.

They said her body was too gruesome to show. Adults stopped me, so I never saw her final state.

But I talked with her for a week. I still vividly recall her soft voice cutting through the cold darkness. Her off-key singing echoes in my ears. She laughed, saying we’d go to Kwon Jisoo’s concert to celebrate surviving, vowing to snag front-row seats. Her excited tone is etched in my heart.

No one believed me. They dismissed my story with skeptical looks… and pity.

They called it delirium from extreme stress. Or memory distortion from trauma. Humans, they said, are fragile, finding ways to cope with unbearable despair and fear.

That’s why I understood Gye Joonmin better than anyone. I saw myself in him, constantly denied his memories, reality, and Uju hyung’s existence.

Sometimes, I doubted. Maybe, as they said, my memories were fake. That doubt turned into bitter guilt, eating at me, pushing me to a dead end.

In those moments, Gye Joonmin comforted me. I admired his unwavering belief in Uju hyung. Unlike my faltering self, he was always steadfast.

That’s probably why I grew to love you more. I couldn’t help but love you.

Gye Joonmin looked at me with a complex expression. I pleaded desperately, forgetting how to breathe.

Please say no, Gye Joonmin. Please, please…

Catching the meaning in my eyes, he sighed and… gave the answer I’d long awaited.

“When I rescued you, I saw the body next to you. Wearing a grayish-blue uniform, right?”

Yooyoung Noona’s Yeonju Girls’ High uniform was grayish-blue. She always grumbled, calling it pigeon-colored.

“Yeah…”

“…Then she probably died instantly.”

I hung my head limply. It felt like the ground collapsed beneath me.

So that’s it. I was wrong. As they said, it was my delusion.

My hands shook. Clutching my clothes, blue veins stood out. My eyes burned. Tears rolled down my cheeks, dripping from my chin.

“I… I kept talking with her. She even sang to me…”

“…”

“Then who was I talking to? Was it all hallucinations…”

Gye Joonmin didn’t answer. I wasn’t expecting one.

Silence lingered between us. The memories that sustained me weren’t real. They were illusions I created. Even I felt like a lie. Now, what do I live for?

Noona asked if my leg was okay. In pitch-black darkness, where she couldn’t possibly have seen.

Was it all my delusion? Then everything…

I was confused. I wanted to vanish. To become nonexistent.

I’d sink back into that mire. This time, I might not escape. Sinking endlessly, until I…

A warmth on my hand made me look up. Gye Joonmin gently held my hands in his.

He whispered in my ear. His low, resonant voice sounded like he was crying.

“I know. That feeling.”

I slowly looked up. Tears blurred my vision.

“…”

“I was hounded daily by words denying my entire life. Many called Uju hyung a figment I created. They said my cherished memories were lies. That I should accept it. But I can’t. They’re real to me.”

“Yeah…”

“Listen, Won Yoogyeol. This is just my speculation, okay?”

He gripped my shoulders, steadying me.

“I’m not the type to spew fake comforting words. You know that. So what I’m about to say is speculation, but not a lie.”

Not fully understanding, I nodded. He paused, then spoke slowly, clearly.

“You know what subconscious awakening is?”

“Yeah.”

“When an esper’s ability manifests incompletely, and they don’t realize it.”

“Why bring that up…”

“…They say Type-11 mental espers above A-grade can move their body for a few minutes after death. There’ve been documented cases.”

I stared at Gye Joonmin, trembling eyes steadying. No way…

“I could probably do it for a few hours. And…”

He pursed his lips, catching his breath. Unlike his usual bluntness, he seemed to choose his words carefully.

I waited quietly for him to continue.

“Your sister was likely a mental esper. At least S-grade. Probably stronger than me. Given the situation, she didn’t know her own power.”

I gasped at the unexpected words.

“My sister, a mental esper?”

“Probably. But even an S-grade can’t move a dead body for days. It’s theoretically impossible. Especially in subconscious awakening.”

“Then…”

“She fought desperately. She couldn’t leave you alone. I’d…”

Gye Joonmin swallowed his words.

Oh…

I buried my face in my hands. So Yooyoung Noona…

“Don’t doubt, Won Yoogyeol. Your memories are likely real. Cherish them.”

The words I’d said to Gye Joonmin came back to me. Choked, I couldn’t speak, nodding as I swallowed tears.

Not lies, but reality. Clear affection. Our small talks over a week. The song softly piercing the darkness. Sixteen years together.

I slowly raised my head. Like water between fingers, the heavy, gloomy emotions pooled in my heart flowed away.

I won’t sink to the bottom again. I have warm, solid memories to lift me up.

I might waver sometimes, but that’s okay. I’ll revisit my precious memories, and they’ll give me strength to endure and live on. I’m certain.

Noona, I’m sorry. Sorry for doubting. Thank you for protecting me to the end. I’ll live hard. Really hard. I don’t know when my life ends, but I’ll live without regrets. I promise.

Gye Joonmin slowly hugged me. I collapsed into his arms.

Tears poured uncontrollably. I rested my forehead on his broad shoulder. His gentle hand stroking my back was so tender, I couldn’t hold back and sobbed harder.

As despair and guilt drained, tears kept flowing.

After crying my heart out, everything will be okay. It has to be.