I’m Not Your Fated Guide, But… Chapter 6.1 - #06 I’m Going to Tell Uju Hyung (1)

I opened my eyes to the light seeping through the curtains. My eyes felt gritty, as if someone had poured a sack of sand into them.

The ceiling I saw was both familiar and unfamiliar. It had a structure similar to my room, but there was a subtle difference in the feeling it gave off.

I slowly sat up. The green blanket slid down from my shoulders to my waist.

Uh… this is Gye Joonmin’s room. But why am I here alone?

Scratching the back of my head vigorously, I carefully traced back the memories of last night in order.

Uh, um, let’s see… We talked about something from eight years ago, and I cried my eyes out in Gye Joonmin’s arms for a long time until I was exhausted and started dozing off… Then Gye Joonmin said we should go to sleep, but I said I didn’t want to sleep alone tonight and clung to his sleeve, begging—damn it!—and… In the end, we both squeezed into this cramped bed, holding each other tightly as we fell asleep…

Crazy. This is insane. Won Yoogyeol, have you lost your mind?

I clamped both hands over my mouth. It felt like a scream would burst out at any moment.

Damn it, what did I do? I didn’t even drink that much. If I had, at least I’d have an excuse. Oh, oh no. I’m crazy. I’m really crazy. I must be out of my mind.

I pounded my thighs with my fists. How am I supposed to fix this?

If I could, I’d never leave this room again. But sadly, this was Gye Joonmin’s bedroom.

So, right now, I’m in Gye Joonmin’s bed, wrapped in Gye Joonmin’s blanket, surrounded by Gye Joonmin’s traces… Damn it, let’s get out of here quick.

With heavy steps, I opened the door and stepped out. A sharp, spicy smell wafted all the way to the living room, and I couldn’t help but take a deep breath.

“You awake?”

Gye Joonmin’s voice came from the kitchen. When I turned my head, I saw him wearing an apron. His expression and tone were calm. Just like usual.

I was certain he’d tease me mercilessly about yesterday, but my experience-based prediction was completely off. He just gestured toward the dining table with his chin.

“Sit there and wait.”

“Huh? Okay.”

Without thinking, I obediently sat at the table as he instructed. In the four years we’ve known each other, we’ve only eaten breakfast together a handful of times. Maybe three times? This would be the fourth.

I stared blankly at him as he diligently chopped on the cutting board, then suddenly realized a terrifying fact. I jumped up in a panic.

“Hey, Gye Joonmin, hold on a second…”

I hurriedly rushed to his side to stop him. Look, his abilities are unstable right now, and so is his vision. And this guy is holding a knife? Is he trying to cut his fingers off?

“What?”

He responded to me without pausing his flashy knife work. Isn’t this guy scared at all?

“Put the knife down, man.”

“What, afraid I can’t see?”

Gye Joonmin casually held up the kitchen knife. He even twirled it in front of me as if showing off. This crazy guy is putting on a circus act. He’s completely fearless.

“I’ll do it. Hand it over.”

I reached out to take the knife, but he quickly pulled his hand back.

“It’s fine. It’s not like I’m completely blind. Honestly, even if I couldn’t see, it wouldn’t make much difference to how I live.”

“Still, you need to be careful, you idiot. Do you want to end up crying while holding your severed finger and running to Park Haewon, the esper?”

“I’m telling you, it’s fine.”

Gye Joonmin confidently tossed the knife into the air and caught it repeatedly. Once, twice… Then, on the third toss, he misjudged the force, and the knife lodged itself into the ceiling. Perfectly perpendicular.

“Hey! Hey! You lunatic!”

“Uh, whoops?”

Gye Joonmin looked up at the ceiling with a startled expression, clearly realizing his mistake. Only the handle of the knife was visible; the blade was completely embedded in the ceiling.

Even if the ceiling isn’t concrete, isn’t this a bit much? This guy is a real lunatic.

I gritted my teeth and dragged over a dining chair. Gye Joonmin, seemingly aware of his mistake, quietly held the chair’s backrest to steady it.

After glaring at him, I climbed onto the chair and grabbed the knife handle. It was so deeply embedded that it wouldn’t budge easily. I thought about passing the task to Gye Joonmin but held back. I couldn’t do something that humiliating. My stubbornness kicked in, and I pulled with all my strength.

After struggling and wrestling with it, I finally yanked the knife out. Stunned, I looked at the knife, then at the ceiling. I was still dumbfounded.

Pointing at the knife mark in the ceiling, I scolded Gye Joonmin.

“You lunatic, what are you going to do about this?”

“What can I do? Just live with it.”

He gestured with his eyes toward the holes we’d punched in the walls over the past four years. Well, I had no comeback for that. The ceiling is better than the walls. Unless you deliberately look up, it’s not as noticeable, so it’s relatively fine.

I nodded in agreement, but then I heard something overflowing. Startled, I turned to see the kimchi stew on the gas range boiling over enthusiastically. What a mess…

“Hey! Hey! That!”

“Argh!”

I vowed that next time I’d turn off the stove before fighting and wiped down the gas range. The old gas range we used to have was modern and would warn us when it overflowed, but it met its end during a fight with Gye Joonmin. Just then, Moon Youngsu gave us his old gas range when he switched to an induction stove, so we’ve been using that. But it’s so old it’s practically a piece of junk that just spews fire.

I want to switch to an induction stove, but it’s not that simple. This old government housing has the kitchen’s electricity tied to a single line, they say. If we use a two-burner induction stove or run it alongside a dryer or air conditioner, the breaker will likely trip. Damn this old government housing. The apartment complex next door can run a three-burner induction stove without any issues. I’m so jealous I could go crazy.

Ugh, I want to use an induction stove too. It’s sleek, easy to clean, and better for lung health. If this were our own place, I’d sweet-talk Gye Joonmin into getting a dedicated electrical line installed, but investing personal money into a Center-owned building feels like such a waste. We’re not going to live here forever. But with a building this old, shouldn’t they be talking about redevelopment by now?

What would happen to us then? Would we each go our separate ways?

I added water to the half-burnt kimchi stew and started reheating it. The kimchi my aunt gave us was so delicious that just adding meat and water made it taste amazing.

I polished off two bowls of rice for breakfast. Afterward, I did some chores. While I washed the dishes, Gye Joonmin finished cleaning the bathroom.

As I lounged in the living room, I got a text from the team leader. I headed to the front door, and when I opened it, I saw a shopping bag hanging on the doorknob.

When I brought the bag inside, Gye Joonmin asked me, “What’s that?”

“The team leader says we need to submit this by today.”

I pulled a psychological evaluation form out of the envelope and waved it. Normally, we’d log into the site from our fixed IP at work to fill it out, but given our situation, they gave us paper forms instead.

“Ugh, what a hassle. It’s the same stuff every time, isn’t it?”

“Just do it. Stop complaining.”

“At least you only have to do it every three months. I have to do it every month.”

“If I got your salary, I’d do a psych eval every day, not just once a month.”

If I were making that kind of money, I’d do it morning, noon, and night.

I spread the evaluation form on the table. Meanwhile, Gye Joonmin kept grumbling. He really didn’t want to do it. I threw a pen at his pretty, complaining lips. He caught it mid-air and reluctantly sat across from me.

Due to the nature of Center work, mental shocks and trauma were common. Those involved in active gate operations, suppressing rogue espers, or engaging with anti-Center groups were classified as high-risk. High-grade espers, especially those on the front lines, suffered a lot from the aftereffects.

To monitor and treat their mental health, the Center conducted regular evaluations. General staff did it once a year, guides every three months, and espers every month.

Besides regular evaluations, additional ones were conducted for significant incidents. I went through countless evaluations because of what happened eight years ago, and even after being discharged following Sun Juhyuk’s esper rampage, I had to do several more.

Gye Joonmin was resting his chin on his left hand, half-heartedly marking answers. As a high-grade esper, he was also in the high-risk group. He dealt with active gate operations, rogue esper suppression, and anti-Center group engagements. Plus, he had his own past.

He’s probably gone through as many evaluations as I have. Thinking about it, I could understand why he was so fed up with it. His life must be pretty tough too.

Sensing my gaze, he looked up and said, “What are you staring at?”

This jerk…

“Dog Joonmin, I figured out why we have to do this.”

“Why’s that?”

“To screen out psychopaths like you.”

“Want to be the first victim of a psychopath in a dramatic way?”

As usual, our verbal sparring quickly escalated into a physical scuffle. We went at it for a while, grabbing hair and collars lightly. In the chaos, the evaluation form got crumpled and torn.

Only then did we snap out of it. We’re going to get scolded by the team leader for this. Gye Joonmin must have had the same thought because he hurriedly let go of my collar.

We put our heads together and started piecing the torn fragments back into place. It felt like solving a puzzle. After arranging them somewhat, we taped them together one by one. It was harder than it looked; a slight misstep and the tape would go on crooked.

Once we finished, another problem emerged. The form was still too crumpled.

“Can’t we iron it or something?”

“Let’s try.”

When I dragged out the standing steam iron, Gye Joonmin frowned. His look was clearly one of disdain. What? Why’s he looking at me like that? Is he picking a fight?

“Just get the dry iron, you idiot. You trying to make the form all damp?”

“Oh.”

I didn’t want to give in to him so easily, but I couldn’t find a counterargument, so I quietly put the steam iron back.

I brought the dry iron and plugged it in. As I was about to start ironing, Gye Joonmin grabbed my wrist to stop me.

“You crazy idiot, are you nuts? It’s taped together—how are you going to iron it like that?”

“Oh.”

“Give it here.”

He laid a cloth over the form and started ironing it gently with the iron set to the lowest temperature, barely touching it. His movements were surprisingly careful. You’d think he was a 24-year veteran ironer. This guy—who even irons his underwear, which shocked me the first time I saw it—was something else.

We finally finished the painstaking task and put the form back in the envelope. Despite our tearful efforts, it still looked crumpled and ragged, but oh well. As long as the content was legible.

After putting the iron away, I checked Gye Joonmin’s condition. He was fine. He’d definitely entered a stable range now.

His complexion looked much better too. With some color back in his pale face, he looked way better. His lips, which were ghostly yesterday, were now their usual red.

He should be okay to go out today. I waved the envelope at Gye Joonmin and asked, “Dog Joonmin, want to go for a walk? We need to submit this anyway.”

“Sure.”

“How about we go out, jog three laps around the park track, and grab lunch nearby before coming back?”

“You lunatic, how is running a walk?”

“Going outside and moving my feet is a walk.”

“Most people call that running or jogging.”

“What, you walk a bit, warm up, then sprint—isn’t that how it goes?”

“…”

After bickering about the definition of a walk, we settled on just one lap around the track. This esper guy is so whiny. Even normal people run with grit. Ugh, he’s the type who builds muscle just by breathing. He’s got it too easy. He deserves to be criticized by every honest fitness enthusiast in the country.

After one lap around the track, we strolled along the path. Tsk, I was just getting warmed up. What a letdown.

The weather had completely warmed up. It felt almost cozy. It was too mild for full-on winter, more like early spring, but not quite spring yet.

Despite what happened last night, there was no awkwardness. We were the same as always—fighting since morning, exchanging pointless banter, and debating dinner plans as we walked along the path.

I remembered crying my eyes out in Gye Joonmin’s arms last night. I was mortified. But it didn’t feel bad.

The warm hand patting my back, the gentle tone soothing me not to cry, the body heat against my forehead… It felt good. It was lovable.

I breathed in the crisp air and looked up at the sky. It was the same old scenery, but it felt different somehow.

My chest felt lighter. Maybe because the emotions that always weighed me down had melted away. Everything felt like it would be okay now. No matter what came my way, I was confident I could overcome it.

I had a solid foundation supporting my life. As a human, I’d have moments of stumbling, but I’d never collapse.

“Gye Joonmin.”

“What?”

“Tell me about Uju hyung.”

“What?”

“Just curious.”

To be honest, I kind of like hearing about Uju hyung. More precisely, I like Gye Joonmin when he talks about Uju hyung. His sparkling eyes, the slight upturn of his lips, the slightly excited tone—it’s all cute.

Even though it was a sudden request, Gye Joonmin nodded willingly.

“Actually, I only spent about two and a half months with Uju hyung.”

“Really?”

Two and a half months. It was too short to easily call it long.

It was much shorter than I’d thought. I assumed they’d spent at least a year together.

I know the depth of affection doesn’t always correlate with time. Still… I’d vaguely assumed Gye Joonmin’s longing came from a long period of connection. But it wasn’t.

How much love must Uju hyung have given in those less-than-three months for Gye Joonmin to miss him so deeply and search for him for nine years?

As an outsider, I couldn’t even begin to fathom the depth of that emotion.

“But Uju hyung completely changed my life.”

“I can tell, man.”

I lightly patted Gye Joonmin’s back. He grinned and gently pushed my waist.

Uju hyung must have been a savior in Gye Joonmin’s harsh and miserable childhood. You could tell just from hearing a little bit.

Gye Joonmin calmly, but with a slightly flushed voice, recounted his memories with Uju hyung one by one. His rosy cheeks and chattering mouth, as if he’d been waiting to talk, were adorable. If I hadn’t asked, what was he going to do, huh?

Young Gye Joonmin saved Uju hyung from being chased by an anti-Center group, they lived together in a hideout, Uju hyung guided Gye Joonmin through the pain of his unawakened abilities, and then the moment of imprinting.

I stored every word they shared in my heart. Just listening made me inexplicably happy. Is this what vicarious satisfaction feels like?

“Other espers talk about imprinting like it’s some defining event. But for me, it wasn’t like that.”

“What was it like?”

“It was just… instinctive, I guess. Like breathing, something completely natural.”

“That’s pretty romantic. If I were Uju hyung, my heart would’ve skipped a beat.”

“Really? Honestly, I didn’t even know it was imprinting back then.”

Gye Joonmin laughed lightly and continued the story.

He got separated from Uju hyung while being chased by anti-Center group members… At this point, Gye Joonmin paused to catch his breath. Just recalling it seemed painful.

Should I tell him to stop? I didn’t want to hear the story if it meant reopening his wounds. Just as I was about to say we should stop, Gye Joonmin continued.

“Uju hyung told me to escape first so he could buy time. He said there’d be Center people nearby and to go get help.”

“Oh…”

What was Uju hyung thinking as he sent Gye Joonmin away with his frail body? A non-esper like him couldn’t possibly take on anti-Center group members.

What if he’s not just missing—what if he can’t show up? No, I shouldn’t think like that. That would be trampling on Gye Joonmin’s faith.

Even if the whole world says otherwise, I have to believe in Gye Joonmin. I have to stand by him and give him courage so he doesn’t break.

“Because of that, I initially thought Uju hyung was connected to the Center.”

“That makes sense.”

“So when I looked for him, I started with Center-related people. But no one knew anything. There wasn’t even a trace. Later, I realized he said that to get me to leave. If he’d told me to escape alone, I never would’ve gone.”

Gye Joonmin’s steps slowed. His eyes and the tip of his nose were slightly red. I pretended not to notice.

Has Gye Joonmin been gripped by this helpless feeling every day for nine years? Wandering endlessly in a maze with no exit?

He said he didn’t want to forget the love Uju hyung gave him, that he’d keep waiting, believing he’s alive. His story ended with that firm conviction. That’s what I love about him.

I was a little jealous of Uju hyung. To be loved like this by Gye Joonmin.

“I owe him so much. That’s why I want to see him. Now I want to give back.”

“Wow, Gye Joonmin. You hate being in debt, huh?”

“Maybe. He had such a hard and painful life, so I want to make it up to him. Now that I have money and abilities, I want to get him treatment so he doesn’t hurt anymore, remove his scars. That’s why I’ve been saving up.”

Gye Joonmin suddenly stopped and looked at me intently. His clear, steady gaze made my toes tingle for no reason.

“W-What? Why are you staring like that?”

“That’s why I want to give back to you too. I’ve received so much from you.”

“What? What’s with you all of a sudden? Are you crazy?”

“I’m just grateful.”

“Then act nicer day-to-day.”

“This is me trying my best.”

Gye Joonmin replied shamelessly. I was so dumbfounded I pursed my lips.

“You psychopath, this is your best? Could you punch Uju hyung the way you do me? Is that your best?”

“…”

Seeing him instantly speechless made it even more absurd. Annoyed, I jabbed a punch into his stomach. He let out a grunt and doubled over but didn’t fight back. Looks like even he knows he went too far. At least he has a conscience.

“When I meet Uju hyung, I’m telling him everything.”

“What?”

“Just wait. I’ll tell him all about how you gave me a nosebleed too.”

“Y-You… You gave me a double nosebleed too!”

He was so flustered he even stuttered, which was unlike him. His shaken reaction was hilarious.

“I’m going to tell everyone that an S-class esper hit a fragile guide.”

“Hey, don’t say it like that. It’s not like I used my abilities.”

“Do you think Uju hyung would see it that way?”

“Won Yoogyeol, that’s a bit…”

“Get ready, you jerk.”

Where are you? Why can’t you show yourself?

I hope you appear soon. That way, I can tattle on all of Gye Joonmin’s misdeeds.

Gye Joonmin, you’re done for. I’m going to spill everything to Uju hyung for three days and three nights straight.

☁️

On the way back from submitting the psychological evaluation form, I bought some adhesive film. The color was a clean white. It was matte, giving it a luxurious feel. Today, I’m going to cover up that damn spinach-colored fridge.

“What’s that for?” Gye Joonmin asked.

I kindly explained its purpose. “To stick on the kimchi fridge.”

“What? Why bother?”

“Damn it, out of all the colors, why green?”

“What’s wrong with green? Isn’t it pretty?”

“Shut up. I might just tell Uju hyung about this later.”

“…”

Oh, this works like a charm. Even the mighty Gye Joonmin can’t do anything when Uju hyung’s name comes up. I’m going to use this to my advantage from now on.

As soon as we got home, I started preparing. I had a spare spatula from when we applied silicone to the statue, so I decided to reuse it.

First, I measured the fridge and marked the back of the adhesive film. So far, no issues.

Cutting? I used a ruler and knife, and it went smoothly. Still fine.

The problem came with the application. I thought I’d aligned the corners perfectly, but it was crooked, and the green showed through the gaps.

I figured I’d finish another part first, so I cut off the protruding section with a knife. But I slipped and scratched a long mark across the kimchi fridge’s surface. I swallowed my tears. It’s okay. I’ll just cover it with the film.

But why wouldn’t the air bubbles go away? No matter how much I smoothed it, lumps and bumps remained everywhere. It was driving me crazy.

“Hey, Dog Joonmin, smooth this out.”

“…Fine.”

Gye Joonmin pursed his lips and took the spatula. He clearly wasn’t thrilled about putting on the film. What’s he going to do about it?

After handing him the spatula, I lifted a corner of the film slightly. I thought peeling and reapplying might help, but it only made things worse. The reattached part crumpled and shifted… Around the time I started accepting that this was a disaster, Gye Joonmin delivered the final blow.

“You crazy idiot!”

The brute, with his excessive strength, tore the film with the spatula. That wasn’t all. The spatula scraped the fridge’s surface, leaving an even bigger scratch next to mine. God, I’m losing it.

“What the hell? Why is this so flimsy?”

“You idiot, I knew you’d mess this up since that art project disaster. Can’t you do one thing right?”

“Hey, it’s not my fault. The film’s just cheap.”

Gye Joonmin threw the spatula down with a defiant attitude. I was seized by the urge to punch him.

No… Calm down. There’s still some film left. Peel it off and try again.

After three grueling hours, we used up all the spare film. Did it come out clean? Of course not. It was crooked and full of air bubbles. I couldn’t stand it. After much deliberation, I tearfully decided to peel it off.

…Forget it. Let’s just live with it.

Ugh, I should’ve just dealt with it. Then I wouldn’t have scratched the expensive fridge.

All that struggling to apply the film, and I went from owning a green kimchi fridge to owning a scratched green kimchi fridge.

Who’s to blame? The regret was overwhelming. I should’ve begged a Class 4 mental esper to make the green fridge look white.

Gye Joonmin glared at me while picking up the scattered film pieces. I didn’t need to hear it to know what he was thinking. He was blaming me—saying all this effort was for nothing and now the fridge is covered in scratches. What? So what?

“Pointless…” But Gye Joonmin’s words were cut off.

We both froze at the same time. An alert sounded. An emergency alert.

They’d found the estimated coordinates of an illegal gate run by the anti-Center group. It was their main funding source. About 300 people were reportedly being forced to work there.

The Center had known about this illegal gate for ten years. They’d been desperately trying to locate it to rescue the captives and cut off the anti-Center group’s funds.

But it was a shifting gate, with its entrance changing locations. The cycle was irregular—sometimes a month, sometimes an hour—making it hard to pin down.

There were two ways to find the entrance: carrying a specially crafted item or identifying the coordinate shift pattern.

The items were tightly controlled by the anti-Center group’s top brass, all S-class espers, making tracking and subduing them difficult.

The shift pattern required analyzing past entrance coordinates. But the Center had limited data, and the pattern was so erratic it was nearly random. With near-infinite possibilities, predicting coordinates was deemed impossible.

Recently, however, they obtained a random number table from a captured A-class esper from the anti-Center group. After interrogation, they got a confession that the next entrance coordinates were encrypted. The Center decrypted it and pinpointed the location.

It was a chance they couldn’t miss. The Center planned an all-out operation to reclaim the gate. Gye Joonmin would be deployed.

His vitals were stable, but that didn’t mean it was safe. The mental damage from severing the link hadn’t fully healed. Normally, he’d be excluded from this mission. That would be the right call.

But there was a high chance Ji Sun-jae was in that gate. Even among the same rank, ability levels varied. In the worst case, a Center S-class non-mental esper weaker than Ji Sun-jae could fall under mental domination. To prevent this, Gye Joonmin had to go. Only he, an S-class mental esper, could counter Ji Sun-jae, another S-class mental esper.

The entrance was expected to appear in three hours. If they missed this chance, another might never come. Knowing this, Gye Joonmin said he’d enter the gate without hesitation.

I approached Gye Joonmin as he prepared his gear. “Be careful.”

It was the first time I’d said this to him. I’d never told him to be careful, not even once, during his S-class gate missions. I believed nothing could threaten him.

But this was different. He was facing someone of the same rank, same mental type, and willing to use dirty tactics. I was worried sick.

“Yeah,” Gye Joonmin replied calmly.

My heart raced, gripped by a chilling sensation. An ominous feeling kept creeping in. Hoping it was just pointless worry, I saw him off.

“You’re not fully recovered. Take care of yourself, got it?”

Gye Joonmin smirked playfully and placed his hand on my head. “Think about tomorrow’s dinner menu.”

☁️

Gye Joonmin didn’t keep his promise.

I knew he wouldn’t return quickly. He probably said it to ease my anxiety.

Still, I didn’t expect him to be gone this long. If only there’d been some contact…

My insides were burning up. Communication cut off five hours after he entered the gate. They didn’t know if something happened or if it was due to the gate’s properties.

As it was an emergency, I was on standby, ready to guide at any moment.

I spent four days without sleep. People noticed my condition and urged me to rest. Reluctantly, I went to the duty room, where others were already sleeping.

I lay on an empty cot. Naturally, sleep didn’t come.

I was beyond exhausted from barely sleeping since Gye Joonmin left. My head throbbed, and my stomach churned.

I needed to nap, even briefly. Staying like this wouldn’t change anything. I knew it, but my body wouldn’t cooperate. The moment I drifted off, nightmares attacked. When I jolted awake, reality was as anxious as the dreams.

“Did you get any sleep?” Lee Sungpyo, the esper rampage management team leader, asked.

I shook my head instead of answering.

“You don’t look good.”

“Any news?”

“Not yet.”

“I see…”

I rubbed my face anxiously. My nerves were frayed, and my body screamed from the unbearable tension and stress.

“Maybe you should get a prescription for sleeping pills.”

“No, I’m fine.”

“They’ll need guiding when they return. You should prepare.”

He was right. I needed to conserve energy for guiding. Taking medication was the best option.

I got an IV and sleeping pills. The drugs must have knocked me out.

Someone was shaking my shoulder. I slowly opened my eyes. A stranger’s voice broke through my foggy senses.

“…Guide Won! Gye Joonmin, the esper, is looking for you!”

Hearing the name I’d been desperately waiting for snapped me awake. I shot up.

“He’s back? Where is he? Is he okay?”

I gasped for breath as I asked.

Tears burst out at the response. He’d just returned, and the mission was a success.

Gye Joonmin was seriously injured but, thankfully, not in life-threatening condition.

And he was frantically asking for me, saying he needed to see Won Yoogyeol, that he had something important to tell me.

As soon as I got the room number, I sprinted. I realized I was barefoot, but I didn’t stop. I had to get to Gye Joonmin.

Panting, I opened the door. The figure on the bed caught my eye instantly.

My eyes burned at the sight. What’s this? They said it wasn’t life-threatening, but he looks like he’s barely alive.

He was a mess. Bandages wrapped his body, with blood seeping through at his shoulder and arm. The medical staff were gravely monitoring his condition.

Sensing my presence, Gye Joonmin turned to me. “You’re here?”

His tone was as casual as if he were asking about dinner.

“You okay?”

“Why’d you rush here like that? Oh, is this your ‘walk’?”

Gye Joonmin smiled leisurely, as always. He looked a bit tired, but his mind seemed clear. Clear enough to crack silly jokes.

“Are you hurt bad?”

“This’ll heal quick. Park Haewon, the esper, will take care of it.”

The tension melted away. My legs gave out, and I collapsed to the floor. All my hard-trained leg muscles were useless against this relief.

“God, I thought something happened to you…”

“Worried?”

“Of course, you lunatic. Why’d communication cut off?”

“Interference was bad, and it wasn’t just the entrance coordinates shifting—the entire dimension inside was warped. Come here, Won Yoogyeol.”

Gye Joonmin held out his hand. I stood, drawn to him like I was possessed.

“The illegal gate was cleared, all captives were rescued, and we arrested the anti-Center group’s leaders.”

That’s great, but why’s he telling me this now, all beat up like this?

I understood why Gye Joonmin got frustrated when I asked about Sun Juhyuk’s condition after emergency guiding. He must’ve felt like this.

Unable to hide my upset, I looked at him. He continued calmly.

“You said you didn’t want people to suffer from esper rampages, right?”

Six years ago, when I suggested temporary guiding, you asked what was in it for you. Gye Joonmin remembered every word I said back then. I thought he’d forgotten. Choked up, I stammered, “You remembered…?”

“Of course. So don’t worry anymore. I’ll lock those bastards up.”

His firm declaration left me blinking.

“With their main funding cut off, they can’t deliberately cause esper rampages anymore. I caught Ji Sun-jae, so I’ll take revenge for you.”

It wasn’t a lie or empty words. His eyes burned with resolve, radiating determination to keep his promise.

“Why are you avenging me?”

“Because it’s you. Because they made you suffer.”

“…”

I couldn’t believe Gye Joonmin was looking at me like this for my sake. Am I that important to you? Is it okay to believe that?

My throat tightened. I tried to keep the tears out of my voice. “That’s… That’s the same for you. You suffered because of that bastard too…”

“Then let’s call it our revenge.”

Tattered as he was, Gye Joonmin flashed a villainous grin. I fought back tears and spoke.

“Don’t get hurt. Don’t do anything dangerous.”

I hated Ji Sun-jae and the anti-Center group. But I didn’t want Gye Joonmin to get hurt or put himself in danger. Never. I know how easily revenge-driven people throw themselves away. I’ve seen that tragic end too many times. I didn’t want that for Gye Joonmin.

“Gye Joonmin, everything’s fine, so don’t get hurt, you idiot.”

“Of course. I won’t do anything reckless.”

“For real?”

“Yeah. We’ve got them now, so we’re in a much better position. I’ll lock them in the esper correction facility for life. I promise.”

He held out his pinky. When I just stared, he wiggled it impatiently. What are we, kids? I chuckled and hooked my pinky with his.

“Won Yoogyeol, you gotta stamp it too.”

“What? Are we in elementary school?”

“Come on, sign it. Don’t forget to make a copy and laminate it.”

“You childish jerk.”

“Coming from you, that really hurts my pride.”

Grumbling, I did everything he asked. Damn, he’s annoyingly cute.

We giggled playfully at each other.

Then, a chilling dread hit me. A shiver tore through my body.

A foreboding pierced my mind, a taut thread on the verge of snapping, a sharp chill slicing my skin… I know this feeling.

I grabbed Gye Joonmin’s arm and started guiding. A backlash hit immediately, but I ignored it, pouring all my energy into him.

“Won Yoogyeol?”

The rejection caused excruciating pain, tearing through my nerves. Suppressing a scream, I shouted to the others, “Right now, call every guide you can. As many as possible…”

The medical staff buzzed with confusion at my words.

“What?”

“It’s a rampage precursor. Hurry!”

I screamed desperately. Amid the chaos, I saw Lee Sungpyo. He grasped the situation instantly and started making calls. But others still looked skeptical.

“His vitals are normal.”

“The wavelength’s stable too. There must be a mistake, right, Esper Gye Joonmin?”

All eyes turned to Gye Joonmin. He opened his mouth to say something but collapsed without a word.

I caught his falling body, supporting his head with my shoulder, and checked his condition.

Ragged breathing, drenched in sweat, a body burning like fire—all signs of a rampage.

A piercing sound ripped through my ears. It was the rampage detector. That was the start. Alarms flooded in like a tsunami. The vitals on the screen soared endlessly.

Amid the relentless alarms and frantic shouts, I repeated desperately, No. No, Gye Joonmin. You can’t do this. Hold on. Please hold on. No. Don’t do this. I can’t lose you.

I kept guiding, crying out. The pain from the rejection and the dizziness from rapid guiding stopped registering.

Something dripped onto the blanket. I thought it was tears or sweat, but it was red. A nosebleed. Still, I didn’t stop guiding. I couldn’t.

I had to save him. I couldn’t stop now. If I did, he’d die. You’ll die. I can’t let that happen. I’ll save you. I won’t let you die. You’re everything to me. My reason for living.

What’s the cause? The mental damage from breaking the link? Overexertion during the gate mission? His injuries? Or did Ji Sun-jae do something?

I don’t know. I don’t know. Just hold on. Please.

You’re strong. You can do this. Don’t let a rampage take you. You have to find Uju hyung. You need to live to see him. What about Damin? You just promised me. We copied and laminated it. So don’t die, Gye Joonmin. Don’t leave me alone. Please, please…

His hand started trembling faintly. The convulsions spread to his entire body. Another classic rampage sign. Everything pointed to one outcome.

No. It can’t be. I denied it over and over.

Pouring out my remaining strength, I checked his wavelength. Drop. Please drop. Even a little…

But the graphs only climbed steeply, soaring closer to Stage 1 rampage levels.

The medical staff shook their heads grimly. Lee Sungpyo was explaining something to the team. Words like rampage, critical, and alert pierced my ears.

Red warnings flashed across the screens. Unable to bear it, I squeezed my eyes shut. The alarms, louder than before, tore at my eardrums.

☁️

I must’ve blacked out briefly. When I opened my eyes, I saw Damin guiding Gye Joonmin through the blurry haze. I tried to run to them, but my limbs wouldn’t move.

People grabbed me from the side.

“You can’t. You need to rest.”

It was the members of the esper rampage management team.

I shook my head and stood up. Gritting my teeth, I approached Gye Joonmin. Damin turned to look at me. His face was soaked with tears.

I tried to smile at Damin to reassure him, but it didn’t work. The more I tried to smile, the more my face twisted in anguish.

No, Won Yoogyeol. You’re scaring Damin. You need to laugh it off like it’s nothing. Tell him everything will be fine soon. But why can’t I do it? Why are tears coming?

I wanted to give Damin hopeful words. Tell him it’s okay, it’s no big deal.

But my voice wouldn’t come out. Something was tightly choking my throat. In the end, I couldn’t say anything and resumed guiding.

I don’t know how much time passed. Damin eventually collapsed from exhaustion. They said it was just a brief loss of consciousness.

Something metallic-tasting flowed between my clenched teeth. Someone nearby seemed to be trying to stop me. I couldn’t make out the words, but I shook my head anyway. They were probably telling me to stop. I wasn’t sure.

I kept guiding recklessly. I gathered every ounce of strength within me and poured it into Gye Joonmin.

My body, pushed to its limit, screamed in protest. I didn’t care.

The vitals showed no sign of stabilizing. They kept fluctuating wildly. The unstable wavelength made guiding several times more painful than usual. But I gritted my teeth and endured.

I can’t save Gye Joonmin. My abilities aren’t enough. This is my limit. I could barely maintain the status quo, let alone provide proper guiding.

Enduring the excruciating pain, I thought of Uju hyung. Please, come here now. If he appeared, if the imprinted guide could guide him, Gye Joonmin could live. If you’re alive, if you’re really out there, please, please…

We barely got through the night’s crisis. The rampage vitals dropped slightly. But it was far from stable. It was still in the danger zone.

Gye Joonmin was covered in control devices all over his body. They said even if he woke up, he wouldn’t be able to use his abilities at all.

His balance of wavelengths collapsed due to using his powers in an unstable state. On top of that, they detected an abnormal wavelength that couldn’t have occurred naturally. It was suspected to be a surge induced by Ji Sun-jae.

“Yoogyeol, are you okay?”

“…”

At the Center Director’s question, I could only blink blankly, unable to respond. It felt like I was seeing the world through a foggy veil. Reality felt painfully distant.

“You’re not okay right now. You need to rest.”

The Director tried to pull me up by my arm. I shook my head.

I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. The numbers representing Gye Joonmin’s condition were moving chaotically. It was a situation where I couldn’t relax for a second.

If the vitals spiked even slightly from here, he’d enter Stage 1 rampage immediately. Even if they stayed steady, if this lasted more than three days, a kill order was likely.

I know. This isn’t the end. We’ve bought some time, but that’s all. The outcome won’t change. The vitals will rise again, the wavelength will go haywire, and then…

The chilling dread creeping down my spine wouldn’t stop. An indescribable premonition screamed a single conclusion at me. The inevitable future played vividly before my eyes. No. I had to stop that.

“Gye Joonmin… He’s going to rampage.”

“Is that what you see?”

“Yes.”

The Director let out a heavy sigh. In his grim expression, I saw despair, regret, and a resolve for the greater good.

“…We need to prepare.”

“Director.”

Before I knew it, I was crying. I couldn’t bear it without crying.

“Yes, Yoogyeol.”

I couldn’t easily speak. My lips trembled, and I bowed my head.

In the heavy silence, I sobbed quietly. The Director gently put his arm around my shoulder.

I cried endlessly, like someone who’d forgotten how to stop. Occasionally, my unbridled sobs mixed with the ticking of the wall clock. Each time, the Director slowly patted my back. It was a wordless form of comfort. I steadied my breathing and tried to sort through the chaos in my mind.

What should I do? There wasn’t much I could do now.

No, there was only one thing.

And yet, the reason I hesitated… was because I wasn’t sure I could handle it. Because I knew exactly what the outcome would be.

But I couldn’t delay any longer. Every second was precious. Gritting my teeth, I pushed the hesitation out of my heart.

With great effort, I voiced the decision that would cost me everything.

“…I’ll do something. Please, just give me a little time. I’m begging you.”

The Director looked at me silently. His gaze was as if he were looking at the most pitiful, heartbreaking thing in the world.

“Will that be enough?”

“Yes.”

The Director gave me one day. In the empty hospital room, I looked down at Gye Joonmin, sedated and asleep from stabilizers and sleeping pills. Dark circles shadowed his eyes, and his lips were chapped.

I gently placed my hand on his cheek. A slight fever lingered.

Knowing this guy’s personality, he’d probably say he’d rather die than do insertive guiding.

But what can I do, Gye Joonmin? This is the only way. I can’t let you die.

You won’t accept this act. You might not forgive me. No, you definitely won’t.

I know. I know, but… my choice was clear. I wanted to save you.

Gye Joonmin remained motionless. He probably wouldn’t wake for a while. They’d maxed out the stabilizers and sedatives. It was for my safety.

That was a relief for me. I didn’t have the courage to face a conscious Gye Joonmin.

Hiding it forever was impossible. He’s sharp; he’d figure it out the moment he woke up. Still, I wanted to get through this moment somehow.

Gye Joonmin kept letting out pained groans. I gently smoothed the furrowed lines between his brows with my hand. It didn’t seem to help much.

“Just hang in there, man. I’ll make sure you’re not in pain anymore.”

With trembling hands, I removed my pants. I’d never done it myself, but I knew well how insertive guiding worked.

The Center trained us periodically, separating cases where espers insert and where guides insert, to protect guides. It was to prepare for emergencies or dealing with espers who’d lost control due to a rampage.

The training wasn’t about pleasure but about preventing injury. Especially when both the esper and guide were male, we learned in detail how to relax the body, how to move to avoid injury.

I never imagined I’d be in this situation during training. If I’d known, would I have paid more attention? Back then, it was unthinkable.

I slowly climbed onto Gye Joonmin’s body. Tears fell heavily onto his pale, lifeless cheeks.

I began preparing as I’d been taught. My trembling fingers moved to my backside. An instinctive aversion hit me at the unfamiliar act. The uncomfortable pressure, the awkward position, the fear of this new guiding method—it made me sob.

No, that didn’t matter. The truth was, I was scared. I knew what this act would lead to, and the sadness of it made me cry.

I pressed my forehead against Gye Joonmin’s. It felt like he’d open his eyes any second and yell about what crazy thing I was doing. But he remained still.

When I was cornered, lost, and in despair, you always reached out to me. You saved me, kept me going.

You were my everything. I couldn’t imagine a life without you now.

Gye Joonmin, I don’t want you to hurt. I want you to be happy. That’s all I wish for.

You need to see Uju hyung again. You can’t die here. You have to survive, right?

To you, who loves only Uju hyung, this choice might feel like a huge betrayal. I know it’ll twist our relationship. The bond we’ve built over six years as friends, partners, and roommates will collapse.

What will you think of this when you wake up? You’ll probably find it horrific and disgusting.

Will you be angry at me? Resent me? Or maybe you’ll despise me so much you won’t even look at me. The thought alone burned my heart.

But it was okay. I had no choice.

You idiot, how could I let you die? Just to preserve our fragile relationship, I should stand by and watch you die? That’s nonsense.

As long as you live, I’m fine. So what if you despise me? We fight all the time; that’s nothing to me. Really, it’s nothing…

So live. You have to live, Gye Joonmin.

I withdrew my trembling fingers, which had been loosening myself, and adjusted my position. Clutching the sheets, I slowly lowered my hips. A heavy pressure and sharp pain shot up my spine. The unfamiliar pain mixed with the agony I always endured during guiding.

This was on a different level from any rejection I’d experienced. The blocked energy surged back, delivering bone-chilling pain. It felt like my body was breaking apart.

Instead of screaming in agony, I hugged Gye Joonmin tightly. Very tightly.

I whispered softly into his ear, “It’s okay. I’ll stay by your side.”

It wasn’t my line to say, but it was the only thing I could tell him.

When the seemingly endless time passed, the vitals had clearly dropped. They were almost in the stable range. If Damin and the other guides took turns guiding, they could likely bring it below the threshold safely.

I let out a sigh of relief. Yes, this was enough.

My lower body was so sore I could barely feel it. With shaking hands, I barely managed to put my clothes back on.

The insertive guiding was done. But I planned to add contact guiding. I wanted to lower the vitals even a little more. That way, I’d feel reassured.

It was tough, but I could manage. I still had some strength left. Honestly, even if I didn’t, I’d keep going. Good thing I trained so hard.

I slowly got off the bed. When my feet touched the floor, an unimaginable pain shot up my spine. I staggered and slumped onto the edge of the bed.

At that moment, a strong grip seized my wrist.

I locked eyes with Gye Joonmin, who was half-sitting up. Or did we really? His eyes couldn’t focus and were trembling unstably. They said he couldn’t use his abilities, and it seemed he’d completely lost his vision.

“Gye Joonmin, are you okay? Are you conscious?”

“Uju hyung?”

The name that slipped from his lips made me freeze.

I remembered what he’d told me before. When his vitals hit critical levels before we met, his vision faded due to increased control devices, and he had delirium. Park Hyung-taek took advantage of that, pretending to be Uju hyung to guide him. It seemed like the same situation now.

“Is it really Uju hyung? You’re back?”

“…”

For a moment, the vitals on the screen dropped slightly. Recognizing me as Uju hyung seemed to affect the rejection response. It was subtle but noticeable.

“Hyung, Uju hyung.”

Gye Joonmin mistaking me for Uju hyung, the reduced rejection response, and me having to guide him in this state.

I didn’t hesitate long. There was no time to waste.

“Yes, Joonmin. It’s me, Uju.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m here, so don’t worry anymore.”

I spoke to Gye Joonmin as if I were really Uju hyung. With his vision gone and consciousness unclear, he fell for it so easily. I’m doing the same thing Park Hyung-taek did. Disgust surged within me.

Gye Joonmin’s eyes welled up. Even though he couldn’t see, he desperately looked toward me, as if trying to hold Uju hyung in his gaze.

The moment our eyes met, my heart crumbled. His longing was so intense it shimmered.

“Hyung, Uju hyung…”

I needed to respond, to reassure him as Uju hyung, but my voice wouldn’t come. Something gripped my throat tightly.

He must have interpreted my unintended silence differently because Gye Joonmin frantically sat up. I didn’t have time to stop him.

He hugged me tightly. I tried to twist free, but I couldn’t move. Instead, he held me even tighter, as if he’d never let go again.

“I missed you. I missed you so much…”

Gye Joonmin kept murmuring how much he missed me. His aching longing hit me deeply.

I needed to say something, even a clumsy response. Why couldn’t I speak? So stupidly. So foolishly…

“Hyung, you told me to go and that you’d wait. But then you left me alone… Where were you?”

Recalling the moment he was left alone, Gye Joonmin started sobbing loudly. I stared at his heartbreaking cries and barely managed to speak. My voice came out dry and harsh.

“…I’m sorry.”

I once imagined Gye Joonmin meeting Uju hyung. In my mind, he was smiling happily, embracing him.

But the real Gye Joonmin was different. He was more desperate, more frantic.

Your longing was this intense. My meager imagination couldn’t even fathom its depth.

I hung my head weakly. The more you welcomed Uju hyung, the more fear consumed me. I was terrified of the anger you’d direct at me.

But I’d never regret this. I didn’t start this blindly. I was prepared from the beginning. So I had to bear it fully.

Gye Joonmin loosened his grip and leaned back. He seemed to calm down a bit. With teary eyes, he smiled at me—a smile like he’d gained the world.

“It’s okay. You’re back, so it’s fine. I kept waiting. I never gave up.”

“Yeah… You did well.”

“Will you stay by my side?”

“…Yeah.”

I checked the vitals over his shoulder. If they dropped a bit more, that’d be great. This was my chance while he mistook me for Uju hyung, right? I couldn’t let this moment slip.

I took his hand and started contact guiding.

“Really?”

Maybe because he thought I was Uju hyung, he spoke like a whining child. To me, this spoiled Gye Joonmin was incredibly cute, even in this situation. I’m hopeless.

“Of course.”

“You won’t disappear again, right?”

“No.”

“You went through so much. I’ll help you not hurt anymore. Let’s go to the hospital for treatment. Meet a healing esper too. I have the ability now. I saved up a lot of money. I’ll buy you lots of good food. Tell me everything you want to eat, okay?”

“Thanks.”

“Hyung.”

As if afraid Uju hyung would vanish, Gye Joonmin didn’t loosen his grip on my wrist. Instead of pulling away, I gathered my remaining strength and kept guiding.

He began earnestly explaining to me—or rather, to Uju hyung—how he’d lived these past nine years.

He said it was lonely but okay, tough but bearable. Damin, his aunt, and uncle were there, so he could endure. And because Won Yoogyeol was by his side, he didn’t waver…

The moment I heard my name from his lips, I couldn’t hold back my tears.

His tone was so gentle, filled with affection. It wasn’t my imagination.

I featured heavily in his stories, and that made me happy. It felt like he was saying I was someone meaningful.

“Won Yoogyeol… He’s my partner and roommate. Oh, we went to high school together too. He’s a bit weird and obsessed with working out. Definitely not normal. Get this—he squeezes toothpaste from the middle! How does that even happen? Isn’t he a lunatic?”

Wait, is this guy really out of it? Or does he always talk about me like this behind my back? As I grappled with confusion, Gye Joonmin continued.

“But I really respect him. He lives for his beliefs.”

“…Really?”

“And he’s someone who cries for me, like you.”

“…”

“We fought a lot… but he’s really… good…”

His words trailed off. The grip on my wrist loosened. Soon, steady breathing followed.

I looked at the sleeping Gye Joonmin. He looked much more at ease than before the guiding.

I carefully reached out. His cheeks, now much healthier-looking, felt warm and soft under my hand. This guy’s all tough everywhere else, but his cheeks are so soft—it’s wild. I poked at his squishy cheeks for quite a while.

I traced his elegant nose with my finger, brushed his eyelids, touched his neat eyebrows, and gently stroked his round forehead. I didn’t dare touch his lips, out of conscience.

I’d better take a good look at his face now. Once he’s conscious, he’ll go ballistic. He’ll probably yell that he’ll never look at me again. It’s obvious. That nasty temper isn’t going anywhere.

So I need to memorize it. This might be my last chance.

I had to etch it into my memory so I wouldn’t forget. My memory’s pretty good, even if I’m a bit of a blockhead. I can’t forget this. This pretty face—I need to remember it well.

He often said annoying things, but he also said more things to lift me up than anyone else. Yeah, that’s right.

A tear fell onto his cheek. I quickly wiped it with my hand.

Strange. No matter how much I wiped, his cheek stayed wet.

At this rate, his face would be soaked. I slowly stepped back, tilted my head, and swallowed my sobs.

Afraid he’d wake, I tiptoed out of the room. I whispered a farewell that might be my last.

“Sleep well.”

☁️

Five days later, Gye Joonmin woke up. I didn’t see it myself; I heard it from someone else.

His vitals were fully stable. For now, Damin or other guides would be enough.

Even with the most intense method—insertive guiding—there was no guarantee it would work. His condition was so dangerous and unstable that it might not have taken.

But whether it was our 92% compatibility or him mistaking me for Uju hyung, the effect was far more dramatic than expected. We got lucky.

As soon as I got home, I collapsed onto the bed. The medical team had repeatedly urged me to rest and recover for the time being. Having pushed my strength to the limit with guiding these past few days, and even resorting to insertive guiding, even I could tell my body was in bad shape.

In truth, unless it was an emergency like this, guiding rarely went as far as insertion. Except for married couples or lovers, it usually stopped at contact guiding.

The Center Director had been constantly concerned about me since then. He would call me aside whenever he had the chance to check on my condition. It didn’t seem to be just because I’d chosen the extreme method of insertion. I had a feeling he might have noticed my feelings for Gye Joonmin. That thought crossed my mind.

Gye Joonmin kept wanting to see me. Since he wasn’t in a condition to move freely yet, he was apparently pestering everyone around him to call for Won Yoogyeol. But I deliberately ignored those requests.

Avoiding him like this wouldn’t change anything. I knew it was a cowardly way to handle it. Still, I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have the courage to face Gye Joonmin.

I couldn’t avoid him forever. The moment would surely come when I’d have to confront him head-on.

But not now. I hoped it wouldn’t be today. I wanted to buy a little more time. Before our relationship completely fell apart, I wanted a brief reprieve, even if it meant staying in this limbo-like state.

I slowly closed my eyes. As if it had been waiting, sleep washed over me.

I must have slept for quite a while. I’d come home around noon, but now the window was dark.

I didn’t want to do anything. I’d skipped breakfast and lunch, but I didn’t feel hungry. I just lay there listlessly, blinking.

“You awake?”

At that moment, a voice from beside me startled me, and I sat up.

“How are you here…?”

Instead of answering, Gye Joonmin reached out and flipped on the light switch.