I’m Not Your Fated Guide, But… Chapter 6.2 - #06 I'm going to tell Uju hyung (2)

Suddenly, a light poured in, blinding me.

He was standing next to my bed. How could he be here when he should be lying in a hospital room? He shouldn’t be in any condition to walk around yet.

Only then did Gye Joonmin’s crutches, which he was leaning on with difficulty, catch my eye. He looked clearly unwell.

“It’s so hard to see your face. I couldn’t reach you, so what could I do? The one who misses the other more has to come visit.”

His tone sounded like he was worried about me. That’s how it sounded to me.

Strange. This can’t be happening.

Could he not know? Did he not realize what I did to him yet? Is that why he’s treating me so casually? It can’t be anything else…….

“…….”

“Haven’t you been eating properly? Your face has become half its size.”

Gye Joonmin reached out his hand towards my face. I flinched and pulled my body back without realizing it.

He withdrew his hand with an awkward laugh. Seeing the awkward and subtly uncomfortable distance, I realized. He doesn’t not know. He came knowing everything.

Then it made even less sense. Why? I thought he would hate the sight of me. Or did he come all the way here to confront me directly?

But his attitude wasn’t cold. Rather, it was closer to affectionate.

No, that can’t be. It must be my misunderstanding. How could Gye Joonmin treat me affectionately? After what happened. After what I did…….

A heavy silence fell. Why is it so quiet? Why isn’t he saying anything? He should be cursing me by now. It’s time for harsh criticism to pour down.

Unable to bear the anxiety, I bit the inside of my cheek without realizing it. I tasted the metallic tang of blood.

I wanted to look at Gye Joonmin’s face. I wanted to see what expression he was making right now.

But instead of lifting my head, I weakly lowered my gaze. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I was terrified. My fingertips, which I looked down at, were pale white. I curled my trembling fingers and clenched them into a fist.

Our shallow relationship was completely broken. It was now irreversible.

Here, Gye Joonmin would accuse me, despise me, declare the end, and turn away resolutely. Then everything would be over.

I stared at Gye Joonmin’s feet. Red stains were scattered here and there on the surface of the thickly wrapped bandages.

My eyes grew hot. Soon, moisture blurred my vision.

Even though I knew how desperately you were looking for Uju hyung, even though I watched you wait longingly for all those years……. I did that to you out of my own selfishness.

I felt so sorry for you. You wouldn’t have wanted that.

I looked up at Gye Joonmin. His seemingly calm expression made me not only bewildered but also confused. You, who just spoke to me so casually and worried about me…… So maybe……. No, that can’t be. That absolutely can’t be……. My mind felt like it was jumbled up. I couldn’t form a coherent thought, as if my brain was overloaded.

Lost and wandering, I finally managed to utter the words I needed to say to Gye Joonmin.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“I won’t ask for forgiveness.”

I didn’t expect forgiveness in the slightest. Because you wouldn’t accept me, who did such a thing on my own accord.

Gye Joonmin, you might get angry if I say this, but……. I don’t regret it. It was the same when I first made the decision, and it’s the same now. And it will remain unchanged in the future.

Even if I went back to that day, my choice wouldn’t change. I would make the same unwavering decision to save you.

Even if I long for the times we spent together, I won’t regret this. Never.

Because I saved you. You are alive and breathing in front of me right now. That’s enough. I could gladly throw everything away for that. Even if it meant I could never approach you again.

“Wait, you……”

“I’ll be careful not to catch your eye anymore. The guiding…… I’ll only do it when it’s absolutely necessary. If you don’t even want that, then I can’t help it, but I’ll try my best to……”

My voice gradually trailed off. Mumbling and trailing off my words must look pathetic. I was ashamed.

This shouldn’t be happening. This might be the last time, so I should only show you my good side. No, is it too late already? Now that it’s irreversible, are these thoughts all futile?

Still, I will cherish this last moment, and it would be sad if it ended like this. More maturely and calmly, that is, with composure…… No, how can I be composed? I might never see you again.

“Won Yoogyeol, what are you talking about?”

I apologized to him frantically. I couldn’t bring myself to look directly at Gye Joonmin. I looked at one person for so long, and I ruined everything.

“I did wrong. But I wanted to save you somehow.”

“I know.”

“Still, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Should I quit being your temporary guide too? If I’m horrible, I can ask Damin, and I, uh, that is, well……”

Words tangled together. I didn’t know what I was saying, what I wanted to say. Seeing me rambling, Gye Joonmin sighed. The sound made my heart sink.

“Won Yoogyeol, you see.”

“…….”

“I don’t think our relationship will fall apart because of something like that. It was a medical procedure, nothing more, nothing less. Don’t you think so?”

Surprised by his unexpected words, I lifted my head abruptly. As our eyes met, Gye Joonmin nodded as if to confirm. His blunt tone, his unhesitating nod, and his confident gaze told me that what I just heard was true.

It wasn’t forced consolation. It certainly wasn’t empty words to smooth over the situation. This was Gye Joonmin’s sincerity. He was genuinely saying it was okay.

“…….”

“Am I the only one who thinks so?”

“…….”

“You did it to save me, right?”

“……Yes.”

“Then that’s it. I would have done the same if I were in your situation.”

The moment I heard those words, all the tension left my body. A sigh mixed with relief escaped my lips.

So you feel the same way. You felt the same as me.

Warmth slowly spread from a corner of my heart. My eyes stung.

“Yeah. So straighten your shoulders. What did you do wrong?”

Gye Joonmin nudged my shoulder with his index finger. I straightened up, startled for no reason. A low chuckle sounded as if he found my oversensitive reaction absurd.

“Still, I’m sorry.”

“Why do you keep apologizing?”

“Uju hyung is there, but I did that to you……”

“Yeah, that’s why you saved me.”

“…….”

“I have to be alive to meet Uju hyung.”

“That’s true, but……”

“I should be the one apologizing to you. Because you had to go through all that because of me……. I’m truly sorry.”

I never imagined Gye Joonmin would apologize to me. I naturally assumed he would be angry and blame me. I was even prepared for him to turn away, saying he would never see me again.

I didn’t expect him to mention it with such a gentle smile. This wasn’t in my expectations at all.

Suppressing my confusion, I looked up at Gye Joonmin. His gaze towards me was quite soft.

Tears welled up in my eyes. Trying to compose myself, I pressed this scene deep into a corner of my heart. I’ll cherish it and take it out once in a while when I’m feeling down.

So that’s it. We weren’t a relationship that would crumble because of this.

A temporary pair forcibly formed based on matching rate. School days spent together due to the center’s intervention, cohabitation forcibly started because of the hair-pulling incident.

From Gye Joonmin’s perspective, our relationship was more involuntary than voluntary. It was inevitably precarious and shallow.

On top of that, we were busy fighting whenever our eyes met. It was a relationship that could break at any moment. It wouldn’t have been strange at all if that moment was now. That’s what I thought until now.

But the memories of us as partners, friends, and housemates held us together firmly. That knot wasn’t loose at all. It was tied very tightly.

Our relationship might be much stronger than I thought. It seems that six years, the weight of time accumulated little by little, was considerable. Our efforts during that time weren’t in vain. That was a relief.

Rather, it was me who took our relationship lightly. I was the one who was utterly mistaken. This misjudgment made me both embarrassed and happy.

The tension that had been tightly pulling at my whole body instantly loosened. I felt breathless, just enough to feel good. It must be because my heart was swelling with emotion.

A silly laugh kept escaping my lips. Ah, I shouldn’t laugh after crying. They say something unspeakable happens down below.

But what can I do if I’m happy? How can I hold back when I’m this happy? I felt like shouting out loud.

Just then, Gye Joonmin checked his phone and frowned.

“Oh, I have to go now. I actually snuck out.”

“What?”

“I escaped the hospital room because of you. I stole these too.”

He showed off his crutches with a flourish, to which I expressed my pure admiration.

“This bastard is totally crazy, isn’t he?”

“I bought you some dogani-tang, so make sure you eat it.”

He pointed his chin towards the kitchen. Beyond the door, on the kitchen table, I could see packaging containers in a translucent plastic bag.

“Why did you bring this when your leg isn’t even healed properly?”

“Eat well even when I’m not here. You’ll lose muscle mass.”

“I lost all my muscles because I was guiding too hard for the past few days. Take responsibility.”

I dramatically stroked my precious biceps. I thought Gye Joonmin would react by telling me not to be so dramatic. But…….

“Okay, I’ll take responsibility.”

Completely unexpected words came out of his mouth. What? Responsibility?

“What? How? Are you going to exercise for me?”

“I’ll buy you the most expensive protein powder and get new equipment for the home training room.”

“Get me some tonic too. My energy is really depleted.”

“Put it on my tab at the oriental clinic down the street. Get that medicine that’s good for anger management too.”

“Wait, how did you know I went there for anger management? Are you a stalker?”

“The doctor there is the daughter of my aunt’s college senior.”

“…No, why is everyone in this town connected in some way?”

“So go and get whatever you want.”

“Are you sure you won’t regret it? I’m going to add antlers. I’m going to sweep up all the expensive medicinal herbs. Oh, I’ll ask for Gongjin-dan too, so be prepared.”

“Hey, do you think I can’t handle that much? I have to take responsibility for making you cry.”

At those words, my breath hitched for a moment.

“……You.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember everything?”

I thought he vaguely grasped the situation based on intuition. Back then, Gye Joonmin was drugged and not fully conscious. I naturally thought he wouldn’t remember properly. But was I wrong?

If Gye Joonmin remembers everything that happened that day, then I wouldn’t be able to act casually.

My loosened heart froze instantly. I clenched my fists. My palms were damp with cold sweat.

Fear, with a clear source, welled up. You remember me crying? Then, could it be, other things too? Oh…….

It was okay just a moment ago, I thought it would all be okay……. But hearing that he remembers makes me feel like I’m going crazy with anxiety.

If Gye Joonmin doesn’t have any memories…… I can just bury that incident in my heart and not think about it. But if Gye Joonmin remembers everything? Could Gye Joonmin also casually ignore it? Could he pretend not to know about the memories that suddenly come back?

Even if we gloss over it now, things could change at any time. What if Gye Joonmin’s feelings change? What if he thinks it’s not okay anymore and declares an end because he can’t stand it? I…….

“Actually, I don’t remember much, but I know one thing for sure. You were crying.”

“I……”

“I’m sorry, Won Yoogyeol.”

With a dizzy heart, I looked up at Gye Joonmin. Seeing his furrowed brow and tightly closed lips, I was seized by a sense of kinship.

It’s strange. Even though it’s someone else’s emotion, I felt it distinctly as if it were my own. Gye Joonmin was currently drowning in guilt and self-loathing.

Why are you the one apologizing? I slowly shook my head, wanting to tell him not to.

“It’s okay.”

“I’m really grateful to you. And I’m sorry I made you cry.”

“It’s really okay.”

“You’re about to cry again.”

Gye Joonmin’s hand touched my face. Even though I wasn’t crying now, he gently stroked my cheek with his thumb as if wiping away tears.

Startled, I tried to pull my body back but managed to stop myself. I didn’t want to create an awkward situation by showing that I was self-conscious.

Contrary to my intentions, my heart pounded fiercely, almost achingly. I took slow, deep breaths. Calm down. Calm down. I desperately suppressed my rampaging emotions.

Despite all this, his touch as he caressed my face was only gentle. I was completely immune to this kind of situation. So, I blurted out nonsense as it came to me.

“Hey, then don’t you remember cursing at me?”

“Huh?”

“You called me weird and obsessed with exercise. And what else did you say? Oh, right. You called me a crazy bastard who squeezes toothpaste from the middle.”

“……Did I say that?”

“Yes. I heard it clearly.”

“No, I usually think that way……. Did I really say it out loud?”

“You’re dead, you son of a bitch.”

You usually think of me as a crazy bastard? Who are you, me? Are you looking in a mirror right now?

Unable to overcome the surging anger, I grabbed Gye Joonmin by the collar. Gye Joonmin also threw down his crutches and responded to my attack.

The long-awaited brawl didn’t last long. Normally, we would have wrestled for hours, but now neither of us was in the condition for it. With our meager stamina, we couldn’t even last 10 minutes.

Panting like we had just done yoga, pilates, and hiking consecutively, we collapsed on the floor. Gye Joonmin wasn’t much different. He sprawled out next to me. His chest heaved as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Hey, Won Yoogyeol.”

“What.”

“I’m sorry. And thank you.”

My eyes grew hot. I needed to answer quickly, but nothing came to mind. I forced back my tears and managed to squeeze out a voice.

“I’m the one who should be thanking you.”

“For what?”

“For being alive.”

With those words, the conversation ended. We quietly caught our breath and stared at the ceiling.

I liked the sound of his breathing next to me, the rustling of clothes, and the gentle sound of his laughter.

I glanced sideways. Gye Joonmin was next to me. I couldn’t believe it even as I saw him. I don’t know how many times I checked, like a suspicious person.

What should I call this swelling emotion? Euphoria? Relief? Emotion? I don’t know. Eh, what does it matter? Let’s just say it’s all of them.

I couldn’t control the corners of my lips that kept rising. In the end, I burst out laughing. I could feel Gye Joonmin looking at me. It was a look as if he was seeing a crazy person. But I couldn’t easily stop laughing.

This bittersweet reality didn’t feel real. Just five days ago, I thought this moment would never come again.

I thought it was unavoidable. I gave up and accepted it. As long as Gye Joonmin was alive, that was enough. But to think that I could be with him like this, as if nothing happened, after going through that. To think that our relationship wouldn’t end and would continue.

I was happy and amazed.

“Ah, this is bad. I stayed too long. Lee Sungpyo might kill me.”

“Why? The manager seemed like a very reasonable person.”

“You don’t know. That person, he’s calmly crazy. He’s a different type from you, who’s openly crazy.”

“You son of a bitch, do you want to die?”

We looked at each other and chuckled. Until the hospital escapee’s smartphone rang loudly, we continued like that.

☁️

Gye Joonmin was discharged from the hospital sooner than expected. His readings stabilized, and the abnormal wavelengths were no longer present.

The injuries he sustained at the gate were completely healed thanks to Esper Park Haewon. They said there was no bone or muscle damage. That was a relief.

I also underwent every possible medical examination. The results were good. My stamina had decreased, but there were no problems. However, I was told to refrain from high-intensity guiding for the time being.

We lived as we always did. We still exchanged meaningless banter, and arguments over trivial matters naturally escalated into physical fights. Nothing changed.

No, there was something that changed.

“Hey, pass me the soy sauce.”

As I handed Gye Joonmin the soy sauce bottle, our fingertips brushed. We both flinched and withdrew our hands almost simultaneously. An awkward air flowed between us for a moment.

Gye Joonmin and I smiled shyly and then diligently ate the dumplings in front of us.

There was still something subtle and awkward between us. I think that’s unavoidable. Hmm, even so, when we were punching each other, it felt like nothing happened.

Even if he was unconscious, something like that happened, so it’s hard to act exactly the same as before. Still, wouldn’t it be better for Gye Joonmin, who doesn’t remember anything, than for me, who remembers everything vividly?

I intentionally tried not to think about that day. I thought that was the right thing to do. I also thought it was better for Gye Joonmin.

If we continue like this, it will naturally fade and fade away. Time heals all wounds, after all. After enough time has passed, the day will come when we can move past it as if it were nothing. By then, this subtle awkwardness will probably disappear too.

“Gye Joonmin, whose turn was it to do the dishes?”

“Yours.”

As I was carefully carrying the finished dishes, I accidentally looked towards the damned kimchi refrigerator. The color, of course, was infuriating, and seeing the scratches here and there was truly frustrating. Whose fault is it? Damn it…….

“Gye Joonmin.”

“Yeah?”

“Hey, what do you think about gently rubbing it with a magic eraser?”

“Don’t. Don’t risk it.”

“Okay.”

Feeling guilty, I meekly agreed. Yeah, let’s just endure it.

Who was a fourth-grade psychic esper again? As I went through the list in my head one by one, I heard the doorbell. I knew who it was without checking.

“Damin.”

“I’m here!”

Damin smiled brightly and took off her shoes.

Ever since Gye Joonmin almost went berserk, Damin had been constantly anxious. She seemed to be trying her best not to show it, but I could see it.

Perhaps because of that, Damin would come running here every day right after her academy classes ended. I pretended not to know anything and tried to cheer her up. This was all I could do.

“Damin, should we watch our teaser videos again?”

“Yes! I’d love to!”

Gye Joonmin clutched his hair and wailed from beside us.

“What? You’re watching that again? We watched it yesterday.”

I shrugged and picked up the remote.

“Yesterday was yesterday, and today is today.”

“Yoogyeol oppa is right. If you’re going to complain, get out of here.”

Ganged up on 2 to 1, even the great Gye Joonmin couldn’t do anything. He shook his head as if he was fed up.

“Ha, don’t you guys ever get tired of it?”

Grumbling, he sat down, leaning against the bottom of the sofa instead of going to his room. I guess he doesn’t like being left out. The little guy has a surprisingly timid side.

I brought some simple snacks from the kitchen. In the meantime, Gye Joonmin and Damin were bickering intensely. It was mainly Damin pushing and Gye Joonmin retorting. It was clear at a glance that Gye Joonmin was losing. Keep trying, keep trying. You’ll never beat Damin, even if you’re reborn.

As I searched for and played the video, Damin stared at the screen with a rapt expression. Gye Joonmin peeled a tangerine with a disgruntled look on his face. The way he rolled the small tangerine around in his large hands as he peeled it was cute.

“Here.”

He handed me a neatly peeled tangerine half. The other half went to Damin.

I took a piece of the tangerine and put it in my mouth. It was sweet and sour and very delicious.

I alternately looked at Damin, who was excitedly pouring out her anticipation for the new song, and Gye Joonmin, who was dedicated to the task of separating the tangerine peel. A satisfied smile spread across my face.

It was a small, everyday moment, but it was so precious to me. I would have no regrets if these days continued. If only Uju hyung would come back, it would be perfect. Everyone would be happy.

Maybe Uju hyung and I would get along well. If I told on Gye Joonmin for his misdeeds, he might unexpectedly take my side. There’s no basis for it, but somehow I felt like it would happen.

“Do you want to watch our Yeonjusi Water Festival fancam?”

“Oh, good. The color grading in that video is crazy.”

Gye Joonmin shuddered and poured out his complaints.

“Color grading or whatever, I think I’m the one who’s going crazy.”

He’s going to get an earful from Damin. Clicking my tongue, I nudged Gye Joonmin’s back with my foot. He turned his head and glared at me. What, why, what. What are you going to do? Damin is on my side. I pretended to poke his eyes with my index and middle fingers, signaling him not to act up.

Gye Joonmin abruptly stood up. I, too, was about to assume a defensive posture but stopped. A familiar sound reached my ears.

I received a call. An emergency call, at that.

When I checked the details, it was a request for emergency guiding. As soon as I saw that the reason for the call was emergency guiding, Gye Joonmin frowned deeply.

“Ha, are those bastards crazy? What kind of emergency guiding is this when he hasn’t even fully recovered yet?”

Harsh words starting with “sh” flowed from Gye Joonmin’s mouth. I elbowed him in the side, telling him to stop. This crazy bastard, what is he doing when Damin is listening too?

“This is considered recovered. All the test results came back normal.”

I got up and headed for the dressing room. Gye Joonmin, who had followed me at some point, grabbed my forearm. Then, as our eyes met, he quickly let go of my hand as if he had been shocked by static electricity in the middle of winter.

“Are you going?”

“Yeah, I’ll be back soon. Have fun with Damin.”

“No. Refuse it.”

Gye Joonmin blocked my way with a resolute expression. Damin also vehemently shook her head and crossed her arms to make an X.

The way they both furrowed their brows looked exactly alike. When they’re like this, they definitely look like siblings.

“Why do you think they called me?”

“You’re going to throw yourself into guiding again.”

“I won’t.”

“Is your body some kind of smoothie? Not satisfied even after grinding it over and over?”

“Shut up. Don’t talk about smoothies. It makes me want to drink one.”

“…….”

“…….”

Gye Joonmin brushed his bangs up with an irritated hand. How is it that even the trajectory of his bangs falling down is so pretty?

“Do you really have to go?”

“Yes.”

“Even if we try to stop you like this?”

“……Yes.”

Gye Joonmin let out a long sigh and then abruptly went into his room. Oh dear, is he sulking?

Still, what can’t be done can’t be done. Unless I was sick, I didn’t want to ignore an emergency guiding request when I was this healthy.

“Damin, I’ll be back.”

“Yoogyeol oppa, can’t you really not go?”

“Hey, I’ll just go help out a little and come back.”

“You absolutely can’t do anything that will harm your body. Okay?”

“Of course.”

Damin, with an anxious expression, held out her pinky finger to me, and I quickly linked my finger with hers. Damin only let me go after stamping, signing, copying, and laminating it. They’re definitely siblings.

As I was about to go to the front door, Gye Joonmin was standing next to me, as if he had appeared out of nowhere. Seeing his face filled with all the dissatisfaction in the world, it seemed like he was deeply upset.

“Let’s go, Won Yoogyeol.”

He said to me as he put on his coat.

“Huh? Where?”

“We promised. That I would accompany you when you do emergency guiding.”

“What? When?”

“You idiot, did you already forget?”

I racked my brain. Now that I think about it, I did make such a promise when I was hospitalized because of Esper Sun Juhyuk. Saying he was worried about me…….

Oh, right. That’s right. I completely forgot about it.

“Hey. I am an idiot, but don’t call me an idiot.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t call me an idiot because it hurts the idiot’s feelings. Are you showing off because you’re in the top 3 of the school? The National Idiot Union will formally protest, you know.”

“……Fine. Let’s just say I was wrong.”

Unlike usual, Gye Joonmin readily admitted his mistake. Anyway, I felt proud to have gotten an apology out of him. It felt like I had won against him.

I think I saw a flicker of contempt on Damin’s face as she listened to our conversation, but it must be my imagination. Our kind Damin wouldn’t do that to me. Of course, of course.

Gye Joonmin nagged me the whole way there. I even briefly wondered if Taehoon hyung had possessed Gye Joonmin. This guy wasn’t this much of a nag. Oh, except for chores.

“You punk, seriously, take care of yourself.”

“Okay.”

“Just do the basic procedures and leave it at that. Got it?”

“I get it. So stop nagging.”

“Even if the Esper Berserk Management Team clings to your pants and begs you to do a little more, ignore them.”

“…….”

“Answer me, Won Yoogyeol.”

“Okay……”

This conversation repeated itself. My ears were about to bleed. If we had arrived at our destination a little later, I probably would have died from excessive bleeding.

The emergency guiding location was the isolated guiding room inside the center.

Actually, it wasn’t a situation that fully met the requirements for emergency guiding. Gye Joonmin’s readings were stable, but my surplus guiding level was down to 65%. Originally, emergency guiding was only possible when it was above 90%.

But the subject’s matching rate with other guides was too low. I was the only one with a matching rate over 70%, so I had to be deployed.

The plan was for me to stabilize the readings to a certain extent, and then guides with lower matching rates would take over and provide auxiliary guiding.

The subject of today’s emergency guiding was S-rank esper, Oh Suyeon. Her code name was “Spoiler,” and she had been showing signs of going berserk for two hours.

It wasn’t the work of the anti-center group. She had lost her bonded guide in a car accident, and her wavelengths had collapsed due to psychological issues. It wasn’t a full stage 1 berserk, but the fluctuation range of her readings was large, making it a dangerous situation. This was because the highest spike in her readings was close to stage 1.

I entered the isolated guiding room, and Gye Joonmin waited at the entrance.

“Be careful.”

“Okay.”

“If anything happens, I’ll go in right away, so don’t worry.”

“I understand.”

Gye Joonmin seemed to have a lot to say to me, but because of the urgent situation, he reluctantly let me go.

As I stepped inside the isolation room, I saw Oh Suyeon, the subject of the emergency guiding. Oh Suyeon was lying weakly on the bed.

I was momentarily speechless when I saw the clothes Oh Suyeon was wearing. It was black mourning attire. As I got closer, I seemed to smell a faint scent of incense.

Perhaps she wasn’t unconscious, because at my presence, Oh Suyeon slowly opened her eyes.

“Hello. I am Guide Won Yoogyeol, here for the emergency guiding.”

“……Hello. I am Esper Oh Suyeon.”

After a brief introduction, we held hands and started the guiding. There was no rejection reaction due to the death of her bonded guide.

The guiding ended more smoothly than expected. With a matching rate over 70%, it was definitely less burdensome. In addition to the matching rate, the compatibility seemed good, and the efficiency was decent. Her readings went down quickly without much effort.

Thinking that she had stabilized to a certain degree, I finished the guiding. It was only a temporary measure, but at least I had performed first aid. If three or four more guides guided her like this, we would probably be able to secure about three or four days’ worth of time. In the meantime, if we could find a new dedicated guide through the expedited matching test, she would be able to escape the risk of going berserk.

“Thank you for your hard work. Then I’ll be going now.”

After giving a final greeting, I was about to get up from the chair when Oh Suyeon suddenly grabbed my arm.

“Um, could we talk privately for a moment?”

“Yes?”

Taken aback by her unexpected words, I asked back. Oh Suyeon calmly asked me again.

“I have something important to tell you, Guide Won Yoogyeol.”

“Ah, yes.”

Oh Suyeon’s readings were stable. It seemed okay to talk for a little while.

I gestured to Gye Joonmin, and after checking each reading displayed on the screen, he reluctantly gave his permission.

“Just for a moment. If you don’t come out in 5 minutes, I’m coming in.”

“Everything is visible on the CCTV outside anyway.”

“I’m worried about you.”

Does this guy even know how embarrassing his words are? Judging by his calm expression, he didn’t seem to know at all. Feeling awkward for no reason, I pushed him out, telling him to hurry up and leave.

Returning to Oh Suyeon, I sat back down on the chair. At some point, Oh Suyeon had sat up with her back straight.

I looked at Oh Suyeon, bewildered. The guiding had definitely ended well. Was there a problem?

“Is something bothering you?”

“No, that’s not it. However……”

If she went through the trouble of stopping me, there must be an urgent matter. Even so, Oh Suyeon hesitated, unable to speak easily. She seemed troubled and distressed.

Seeing her anxiously biting her lip, it seemed like it wasn’t something to be taken lightly. I placed my hands on my thighs and waited quietly.

How long did we stay like that? Finally, Oh Suyeon opened her mouth.

“While I was receiving guiding earlier, I briefly saw your future, Guide Won Yoogyeol.”

True to her code name, “Spoiler,” Oh Suyeon was a second-grade precognitive esper who could see the future. Judging by her serious reaction, my future wasn’t looking good.

“I see. May I ask what kind of future you saw?”

Instead of answering, Oh Suyeon lowered her eyes. Looking at her hands tightly gripping the blanket, I braced myself. Just how bad of a future did she see to be struggling like this? I quietly waited for her answer.

Only after a long time was I able to hear Oh Suyeon’s voice.

“……I couldn’t see past a certain point.”

“Yes?”

“It was a complete severance.”

“…….”

Severance. Severance. If a second-grade precognitive esper mentioned severance, there was only one meaning. It was probably…….

I was so taken aback by her sudden words that I couldn’t breathe. No way…… That can’t be it. There must be some mistake. Or maybe I heard wrong. Yes, that must be it.

I lifted my head and looked at Oh Suyeon. As our eyes met, Oh Suyeon weakly averted her gaze. Her distress was evident. Seeing that, I realized. Ah, I didn’t hear wrong.

“Guide Won Yoogyeol, do you know what it means when a future cannot be seen?”

I have a rough idea. I heard about it before. I just didn’t think it would apply to me.

I slowly pondered the meaning of severance as spoken by precognitive espers. Was there any other meaning? Could there be a hidden meaning that I don’t know? That would give me some hope.

I slowly stroked my face. Strangely, it didn’t feel real.

I chose the words I needed to say in my mind. I thought and thought. I only needed to know one thing. I only needed to ask if the meaning was correct. Then everything would become clear.

But I couldn’t open my mouth easily. Because the moment I uttered that word, it would become reality. Because I would have to undeniably accept it.

Oh Suyeon quietly waited for my answer. Her gaze towards me was filled with pity.

After hesitating, lowering my head, and closing my mouth several times, I finally managed to voice the question within me.

“Am I…… going to die?”

I tried to ask as calmly as possible, but it didn’t go as planned. My voice trembled, pathetic even to my own ears.

Oh Suyeon nodded. It was a weak movement, but a clear affirmation.

“Yes. If the future is severed…… it means that person’s life has come to an end.”

With those words, Oh Suyeon lowered her head.

It was an answer that didn’t deviate from my expectations. The moment I heard the words that declared the end, my heart calmed down.

Severance, end, death.

I repeated the three words in my mind. They had a suffocating connotation.

I rubbed my stiff eyes with my hand. A long sigh escaped my lips. It still didn’t feel real.

But I had to accept it. I see. I’m going to die.

“I’m sorry, Guide Won Yoogyeol.”

I quickly lowered my hand and shook my head.

“You don’t have to apologize. What can I do if my lifespan ends here……”

I desperately tried to smile to reassure Oh Suyeon. However, despite my efforts, the corners of my lips trembled uncontrollably.

“Still……”

“May I ask if it is a mutable domain or an immutable domain?”

There were two types of futures that Oh Suyeon could see. A future that could be changed by human power, and a future that couldn’t be changed no matter what. If it were the former, there would be hope, but if it were the latter……

“……It is an immutable domain.”

I see. It’s the immutable side. I felt my strength drain away.

My last remaining hope was denied. There really was no way out. The immutable future that Oh Suyeon had foreseen had never been wrong.

“Can you tell me when the severance will occur?”

“I don’t know the exact date, but it’s approximately three months from now.”

I counted the days in my mind. It’s mid-February now, so…… It would be around mid-May. A bitter smile appeared on my face at the sooner-than-expected date.

Mid-May…… That’s close. Yooyoung noona’s death anniversary is May 19th. I really want to commemorate my sister’s death anniversary before I go…… I wonder if that’s possible.

“I hope I can at least make it past May 19th.”

Ah, my voice kept trembling. This shouldn’t be happening. I need to get a grip…… Even the slightest relaxation of my tension made me succumb to turmoil.

“It could be sooner or later than that.”

“Do you know the cause of death?”

“No. I haven’t seen that far.”

Oh Suyeon slowly shook her head. Second-grade espers were the type who saw the future regardless of their will. It was said that they couldn’t control the timing or scope of their visions. It seemed like Oh Suyeon had only briefly glimpsed the moment my future was severed.

What will be the cause of my death? Illness? Accident?

It probably wasn’t an illness. I had a lot of medical checkups recently to confirm my health. There were no problems.

Then, an accident was highly likely. Would I encounter a moment like that again, one that suddenly arrives unexpectedly and takes a person’s life in an instant? Like that time, eight years ago.

I took a deep breath. Avoidance wasn’t the answer. I had to accept it when the time came. Even if it was death.

It wasn’t that I had no regrets about life. Of course, I wanted to live too.

There was a time when I only thought about disappearing from the world. Because I didn’t have the courage to choose death myself, I would go to sleep hoping not to wake up in the morning. That’s how it was back then.

But not now. The day I mustered up the courage to ask Gye Joonmin, I changed. The direction of my life completely shifted.

I didn’t want to die. There were so many things I wanted to do. There were so many things I had to do.

I wanted to live a long life, commemorating Yooyoung noona’s death anniversary and sharing news about Kwon Ji-seo. I wanted to see Gye Joonmin find Uju hyung and become happy. I had to go skiing with Damin. I had to keep my promise to officiate Moon Youngsu and Park Haewon’s wedding. I had to send a big wreath when Taehoon hyung opened his animal hospital.

If I could change it through effort, I would. I would struggle and find a way. But for now, there was no way.

The precognition of an S-rank esper doesn’t change. If it were B-rank or lower, even A-rank, there would be some possibility of it being wrong.

But S-rank was different. Moreover, Oh Suyeon said she saw an immutable future, not a mutable one.

Death will soon come to me. I can’t change it. Then I had no choice but to calmly accept it.

Perhaps I was destined to die that day. Maybe my life was originally meant to end there, but I survived thanks to Gye Joonmin. Sometimes, I felt like my life was a bonus I had luckily obtained. Could that have been true?

I didn’t know when the end of my life would be, but I promised myself that I would always live my life to the fullest without regrets. Now I know the end. So I have to try even harder.

Come to think of it, quite a lot has happened since that accident. I became Gye Joonmin’s temporary guide, fought like crazy, and ended up living together, heard the truth about that day eight years ago, and saved Gye Joonmin, who was on the verge of going berserk. I’ve lived a pretty busy life.

Three months. It isn’t a long time. Wouldn’t it be too unfair to let it go to waste? I should live my remaining time diligently.

It was fortunate that I met Oh Suyeon today. Because it would be sad to face death suddenly without any preparation. Let’s think positively. Thanks to her, I have the opportunity to prepare for death. Time to organize things.

“Excuse me, Esper Oh Suyeon.”

As if I had never been trembling, my voice regained its composure. It was firm and resolute. Much better.

“Yes.”

“I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell anyone else about the precognition you saw today. Would that be alright?”

Oh Suyeon nodded.

“This is a personal matter, so I will keep it to myself. Actually, unless it’s work-related, I’ve always pretended not to know when I see someone else’s severance. But I felt like I had to tell you, Guide Won Yoogyeol. Should I call it intuition? This is the first time this has happened.”

“Thank you. Thanks to you, I have time to get things in order.”

“I……”

Oh Suyeon opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something more to me. But she trailed off and didn’t finish her sentence. Oh Suyeon looked at me and shook her head.

“It’s nothing. Thank you for today. Go safely.”

“Yes. Your readings aren’t completely stable yet, so you should receive the rest of your guiding from others.”

“I understand.”

After saying goodbye to Oh Suyeon, I left the isolated guiding room.

As soon as I opened the door and came out, Gye Joonmin rushed towards me. He looked like a large dog, which made me laugh.

“What did you talk about? Was it something important?”

“Huh? No, it was nothing.”

“What was it?”

This is bad. I’m bad at lying.

“Ah, hold on a second.”

I quickly squatted down and pretended to tie my shoelaces. If he saw my face, he would definitely know.

This guy is incredibly perceptive. He was too much of an opponent for me, who couldn’t lie without it being obvious.

With my head down, I tried to speak as naturally as possible.

“She, uh, asked if I could guide her next time.”

After squeezing my brain cells dry, I came up with a plausible excuse. This was the best I could do.

“And you said yes?”

Fortunately, Gye Joonmin didn’t seem very suspicious. Oh, I can do this too?

“I have to if I get a call.”

“You really……”

I composed my expression as much as possible. This seemed okay. I stood up and stretched widely.

“Gye Joonmin.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m happy right now.”

“What?”

Gye Joonmin blinked at my sudden words. He looked like a rabbit every time he was surprised. I meant that in a cute way.

“You see, I’m going to live without regrets.”

“Yeah?”

He tilted his head, as if he was having trouble following the flow of the conversation. Hmm, even I thought it was a bit random.

“So, to live without regrets, let’s have kimchi stew for dinner tonight.”

“Kimchi stew suddenly comes up here? Don’t speak based on your stream of consciousness.”

“Do you not like kimchi stew?”

“No, I like it.”

“Call Damin and tell her we’re getting kimchi stew takeout.”

“Damin is crazy about kimchi stew. She goes nuts for it.”

“That’s good.”

“We don’t have any rice, should we get takeout for that too?”

“There’s some frozen in the freezer. Let’s heat that up.”

“Should we get smoothies for dessert too?”

“Okay.”

I looked up at the sky. The weather was quite nice.

I walked side by side with Gye Joonmin, mentally going over the things I needed to do. It seemed like my schedule would be tight.

Still, it’s better than it being three days later. Then I would be completely out of my mind, right? Thinking that way, three months felt quite long. This must be the difference in perspective.

It seemed like it would be the busiest three months of my life.