I’m Not Your Fated Guide, But… Chapter 7.1 - #07 Since we've made up now

First, I started organizing my belongings. I thought I’d do it bit by bit because it would be hard to do all at once later.

I didn’t want others to organize them for me. As you gather the traces of someone who has left, one by one, you inevitably end up shedding tears, and even after you cremate them, you have to cry again. I did. Knowing how painful and sad it is, I didn’t want to leave it in someone else’s hands. I didn’t want anyone else to go through such a painful process because of me.

Today, I planned to organize the desk. I opened the drawer and it was full of miscellaneous items. I found a written driver’s license test booklet that I had abandoned after solving the first three or four pages, glasses I used in high school, and dried-up wet wipes.

I threw them into the garbage bag next to me without hesitation. I habitually tried to throw away the paper at the very bottom of the drawer, but then I stopped.

Oh, this was the rolling paper I received in my third year of high school. As if possessed, I read it from top to bottom.

It was full of messages telling me to stop fighting with Gye Joonmin. That’s right. I need to find the bastard who wrote that couples’ fights are like water off a duck’s back and give him a piece of my mind.

Suddenly, my gaze settled on the right corner. It was neat handwriting that perfectly revealed the owner’s personality.

「A slide tackle from behind is a red card offense.」

I let out a hollow laugh in disbelief. If an Esper is going to play soccer with a regular person, they have to accept a slide tackle from behind. He was a shameless bastard.

What did I write to Gye Joonmin back then? I racked my brain and finally managed to remember.

「You fucking bastard.

Watch your mouth.

You sea cucumber-looking thing, stop acting up.」

It seemed roughly written, but it was actually the result of careful consideration. Because if you took the first letter of each sentence, it meant “I like you”. I had a hard time squeezing out my poor vocabulary at that time.

Perhaps it was the first and last confession I made to him. Gye Joonmin will probably never understand this profound meaning, even if he lives forever, will he? You stupid fool.

I picked up the signature pen next to me and wrote on the rolling paper, ‘fuck you’. Hmm, that’s strange. I crossed out the first letter and wrote ‘like’.

I like you. I read the words clearly. I liked the soft nuance.

These are words I could never say in front of Gye Joonmin, but it’s so easy when he’s not here. I put the rolling paper down, laughing foolishly.

There was a white box in the bottom drawer. It was my own treasure box.

I opened the lid and saw a bookmark decorated with flower petals. It was the bookmark Damin made for me during the school festival. He made one only for me and not for Gye Joonmin. Our Damin was the best.

Below that was the mechanical pencil Taehoon hyung gave me. He handed it down to me, saying his test scores were good when he used it. Full of expectations, I used it to solve test problems, but I won’t explain the results. Anyway, even superstition couldn’t overcome my brain. Hmm, that’s a little sad.

I picked up the hand cream next to the mechanical pencil. The contents were all used up, so it was an empty container. It was what Yooyoung noona threw at my face eight years ago. She said she couldn’t stand the sight of my hands being white and chapped in the winter. Even after I used it all up, I couldn’t throw the container away and kept it. It’s discontinued now, so I can’t get it even if I want to.

Finally, I tapped the chocolate in the corner of the box with my finger. The expiration date had long passed. It was the chocolate Gye Joonmin threw at me five years ago, saying he bought it by mistake without knowing it contained wicked mint. How delicious mint is. He’s such a tasteless bastard.

I couldn’t even think of eating the chocolate and kept it safely. Because it was the first gift I received from Gye Joonmin. Oh, was the cardigan first? Then let’s make it the second gift.

I should organize these too. I was about to put the whole box in the garbage bag, but I hesitated.

I stared blankly at the box. One by one, water stains appeared on the white box.

Oh, what the. Why are tears coming out in broad daylight? I’m such a mess, really. I rubbed my eyes with my sleeve.

I squatted on the floor. I buried my face between my knees and calmed myself down. I thought I was okay. I thought I had accepted everything, but times like these show that I haven’t.

After I calmed down somewhat, I got up. I picked up the box on the floor and put it in the drawer.

These were too precious to organize. They are my precious treasures, how could I throw them away? I carefully put them back in the box and closed the lid. I’ll keep them a little longer.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh my god!”

Gye Joonmin’s voice made my heart drop.

“What the, why are you so startled? Are you doing something shady?”

“Knock before you come in, you rude bastard.”

“I kept knocking, but you didn’t hear me. So, what’s with the cleaning?”

“Spring cleaning.”

“You?”

“Yeah.”

“Cleaning?”

“Yeah.”

“Voluntarily?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you crazy?”

“Do you want to die?”

Gye Joonmin’s eyes narrowed as he looked at me. He clearly looked suspicious.

I thought I spoke calmly, but he could tell? As expected, I was terribly bad at lying. I lived such an honest and upright life that this is becoming a problem.

No, it’s not like I don’t usually clean. I always cleaned when it was my turn and the common areas. I just didn’t do it voluntarily.

Fortunately, someone came to rescue me from my predicament. It was Damin.

“Oppa! Yoogyeol oppa!”

“Damin.”

Damin ran to me without even glancing at Gye Joonmin. Gye Joonmin pouted beside me. This is why a person’s usual behavior is important. Learn from me, dog Joonmin.

Damin smiled brightly and handed me a heavy paper bag. It had a pink teddy bear pattern that a 24-year-old man would need a lot of courage to carry around. It was even decorated with cute bunny stickers and masking tape.

Our Damin’s dexterity was exceptional. So different from someone whose art performance evaluation scores were rock bottom. Gye Joonmin’s lack of artistic sense is his personal problem, not a genetic one.

“These are the goods I got.”

“Are you giving them to me?”

“Yes!”

No, our Damin must have bought them with his allowance… Money earned from picking someone’s nose… Oh my, what should I do… I don’t know what to do with myself.

“Is it okay for me to receive this?”

“Of course.”

“Is that what you’ve been using your card for these past few days?”

I heard Gye Joonmin grumbling from behind. Oh, it wasn’t Damin’s allowance but Gye Joonmin’s card. I suddenly felt relieved and peaceful.

“Thank you, Damin.”

“I put two of everything in there. I wanted to give one to your sister.”

“My sister will really like it. I’ll make sure to give it to her.”

“I couldn’t bring much today because I had to go to academy. I’ll bring more next time.”

Then Damin started listing what he would bring next. He looked like he was about to pull up a tree by its roots.

Just like that, I talked about Kwon Ji-seo with Damin for an hour. Unable to stand it any longer, Gye Joonmin screamed and ran out. I clicked my tongue at his retreating figure. He’s so weak, even though we haven’t even properly started.

Gye Joonmin, who had run away, came back with galbijjim. That wasn’t the end. He put it in a pot and boiled it vigorously, as if to show off. The smell of galbijjim filled the entire house.

Ha, how can I resist that? Damin and I were defeated.

Thus, our fangirling talk came to an end. This bastard Gye Joonmin, seeing that words wouldn’t work, changed his tactics. As expected, a smart guy was different.

Even after hearing Osuyeon’s prediction, my daily life didn’t change much. It was the same as any other day. Instead, I didn’t waste time and cherished every moment. That was the biggest change.

After Damin left, I sprawled out on the sofa. I said to him, who was playing a game on his phone on the floor.

“Hey, dog Joonmin, peel me a kiwi.”

“What? Do you not have hands or feet?”

“Ah, peel it for me. I’m asking you to peel it.”

“Just scoop it out with a spoon, you son of a bitch.”

Gye Joonmin grumbled and got up. Seeing him head to the kitchen, it seemed he was really going to bring it to me. At the same time, he was cursing viciously with the most ferocious expression in the world. Kid, pick one, just one.

I lay on the sofa, resting my chin on my hand, and watched Gye Joonmin’s back as he prepared a tray and a fruit knife. He’s such a big guy, but why does he look so cute? Is this what they call love goggles? I’ve had them on for eight years, so there’s no awkwardness anymore.

I shifted my gaze and looked around. Five rooms, a spacious living room and kitchen thanks to the old layout. It’s definitely a big place for one person. I imagined Gye Joonmin living here alone. Just the thought of it made my chest ache.

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

Gye Joonmin, who had returned to the living room at some point, plopped down on the floor. Startled, I flinched.

“Uh? Oh, no, just…”

“Why are you so startled? Did you do something wrong?”

“Oh, no.”

“You’ve been acting strange lately.”

Gye Joonmin narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Desperately hiding my agitation, I hit his back.

“Wh, what are you talking about? Hurry up and peel the kiwi, bastard.”

“Yes, yes.”

Gye Joonmin started diligently preparing the kiwi, despite his grumbling mouth. His hands were moving busily, unlike his complaining words. I pointed at the bite-sized kiwi pieces and opened my mouth.

“Dog Joonmin, ah.”

Gye Joonmin snapped in annoyance.

“This crazy bastard is really something else.”

It was just a joke. I didn’t really expect him to do it. I thought I’d get punched in retaliation, or hit with the tray, or punched and then hit with the tray.

But what came flying wasn’t a fist or a tray. The kiwi’s unique, refreshing flesh touched my tongue. Surprised, I blinked.

“Huh?”

“You’re such a high-maintenance bastard.”

Gye Joonmin continued to grumble as he peeled the kiwi. Why is he so cute? He’s cute even objectively, without the love goggles, right?

After peeling all the kiwis, he handed me the tray.

“Here, eat your fill.”

“You eat too.”

I stabbed a piece of kiwi with a fork and fed it to him. I thought he’d make a fuss and refuse to eat it, but he surprisingly accepted it obediently. He looked adorable as he chewed.

“It’s a bit sour, but tasty.”

“I like it moderately tart. But it can’t be just sour. It has to have some sweetness.”

“In that sense, the tangerines we bought last time were a failure.”

“Even if they watered it with vinegar instead of water, it wouldn’t have been as sour as that.”

For a while, we discussed the sugar content of the fruits sold at the nearby fruit store. There was no particular conclusion. We decided to check reviews carefully when ordering online, and when buying offline… we’d just leave it to luck.

“Dog Joonmin.”

“What is it now? What do you want me to bring you?”

“Being like this, it feels like we’ve made up, doesn’t it?”

“Anyone would think we fought.”

“The Center Director told us to live together until we made up.”

“That’s right.”

“So I think we can live separately now.”

At my sudden words, Gye Joonmin’s eyes widened.

“You, what are you suddenly…”

Gye Joonmin, who was about to jump up from his seat, fell back down. He seemed to have missed his footing as he moved abruptly. No, is that okay for an Esper? Especially an S-rank?

It was a sight rarely seen. He must have hit his tailbone hard, but he didn’t even let out a groan. You have to be like this to be an S-rank Esper.

“Won Yoogyeol, what did you just say?”

It must have been a sudden remark for Gye Joonmin. But I had to say it.

I thought about just pretending not to know and continuing as we were. Actually, I preferred that. Because I wanted to stay with Gye Joonmin a little longer.

But thinking about the future… I couldn’t. How could I be so selfish just for my own good? I have a conscience too.

Now I know that I am a meaningful existence to Gye Joonmin. For a considerable amount of time, I have been with Gye Joonmin as his friend, temporary guide, and roommate. I became someone who spent a long time with him in his life.

The last incident made me realize something for sure. That we have become a solid relationship that won’t crumble easily.

That’s why I had to end this cohabitation even more.

I really thought about it over and over again. Which choice would be better for Gye Joonmin. And this was the conclusion I reached.

I didn’t want to leave Gye Joonmin alone in this space we shared for four years. Because watching the empty space of someone I’ll never see again is too painful. I experienced it. I knew it well, so I didn’t want to burden Gye Joonmin with that.

Someone who laughed and chatted with you in the same house until yesterday is leaving. Someone who lived separately somewhere else is leaving. The weight of the former and the latter are quite different, don’t you think?

“The Center Director said it when he put us here. The deadline is until we make up.”

“That was just talk…”

Gye Joonmin replied in a dejected voice. He looked cute, all crumpled up like a textbook that had been soaked in spilled milk and then dried.

“Honestly, it’s better to have our own personal spaces. It’s inconvenient to live together.”

“You, were you uncomfortable?”

“Hey, I get yelled at for squeezing the toothpaste from the middle, wouldn’t I be uncomfortable?”

“So, sorry. You can squeeze it from the middle.”

Wow, what a sight to behold. The great Gye Joonmin is saying it’s okay to squeeze the toothpaste from the middle. This may seem trivial, but for Gye Joonmin, it was a huge concession. For an average person, it’s like being allowed to get on the bed with your shoes on.

“We use liquid toothpaste now.”

“You, you can use the bathroom slippers with holes in the front.”

“You said it splashes water.”

“I tried them, and the water drains well, it’s good.”

“Honestly, we weren’t good roommates.”

“I…”

Gye Joonmin looked at me with a pale face. He opened and closed his mouth a few times as if trying to tell me something, then lowered his head.

I silently looked down at his unnaturally stiff shoulders.

“Won Yoogyeol, so, I…”

Gye Joonmin raised his head again along with his stammering words. Our eyes met. I stared quietly at his eyes, filled with confusion. As if reading my firm resolve, Gye Joonmin let out a short sigh.

He grabbed my left arm tightly with his right hand. His arms trembled pitifully. He was clearly agitated.

“I…”

“Yeah?”

“If I… if I’ve done anything wrong to you… uh? Tell me if there is… anything. I’ll fix it all…”

His voice was unusually slurred and high-pitched. There was even desperation in it.

“There’s nothing, idiot.”

“Then why are you suddenly bringing this up?”

“I’m not saying it suddenly. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. I need my own space too. I want to live comfortably alone, doing what I want. You can live in a better place than this rundown official residence without me, too.”

It wasn’t a lie. I always kept it in mind. That someday, our cohabitation would end.

I just didn’t know exactly what the trigger would be. I thought we might end up completely splitting up after fighting and fighting. Or maybe Uju hyung would show up. So I was always prepared and mentally ready.

However, the situation now was the opposite of what I had imagined back then. I had assumed that Gye Joonmin would be the one to end things, and I would be the one to accept it.

Gye Joonmin shook his head with difficulty. Only after a while did I realize that it was a response to my words.

Silence followed for a moment.

My chest ached. I don’t want to break up with you either. I wouldn’t want to hurt you with these lies. I’m the one who hates it more than anyone when you’re struggling…

But it has to end. I will never reverse this decision.

I know very well what is truly the right path for you. I had to think about the future rather than the present. Because Gye Joonmin has to live many more days than the time he spent with me.

I slowly raised my head and met Gye Joonmin’s eyes. He flinched at my resolute attitude.

“Give me some time to think… Just give me a little time to think.”

Gye Joonmin muttered weakly. I nodded slightly.

☁️

After I suggested we live separately, it became difficult to see Gye Joonmin. He would leave early in the morning and return late at night.

I was about to ask him if he was busy with work, but I stopped. Gye Joonmin was avoiding me. Very blatantly, too.

I understand. He would be flustered after receiving such a sudden bombshell declaration while we were getting along fine. It seemed he definitely needed time to think.

Instead, I organized my surroundings bit by bit while I was alone. Just in case, I also wrote my will in advance. Actually, it was closer to a letter to the people around me than a will.

Since it would be strange to suddenly write a will, I added that I was inspired to write it after reading a self-improvement book. Hmm, this should be fine.

After writing it all, I realized I had written over ten pages to Gye Joonmin. I was surprised myself. I was someone who couldn’t even meet the page requirement for performance evaluations. I really squeezed out my soul and still couldn’t do it, so I ended up getting points deducted for insufficient length… You bastard, Gye Joonmin, you should feel honored.

Reading it again, it was half curses and half nagging. I’m not in a position to criticize Gye Joonmin for nagging too much. But what can I do? It’s Gye Joonmin’s fault for not living his life properly. Would I be doing this if he had behaved himself?

Only to Taehoon hyung did I tell him about my remaining time.

Taehoon hyung cried. He cried a lot.

Actually, I thought a lot about not telling him. But having witnessed how much hyung suffered from Yooyoung noona’s sudden death, I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to inflict a similar kind of sadness on him again.

I thought that if he knew I knew everything and even had time to prepare, hyung’s heart would ache a little less. It might be my selfishness, but still.

“Yoogyeol oppa, did you fight with Gye Joonmin by any chance?”

“Huh? No.”

“But the atmosphere is a bit… Never mind.”

It seemed strange to Damin’s eyes too. I smiled awkwardly instead of answering. Damin, who was perceptive like Gye Joonmin, didn’t ask any further. How can a kid be so kind? Unlike someone, he’s considerate.

Damin’s time to go home came, but Gye Joonmin hadn’t returned. I contacted my uncle instead, sent Damin off, and returned home.

As I came out of the bathroom after showering, I ran into Gye Joonmin standing in the living room. It was the first time I’d seen him in almost four days.

Just as I was wondering how to address him, Gye Joonmin strode toward me. His steps carried a distinct air of menace.

Water dripped down Gye Joonmin’s hair. His face and clothes were the same. His whole body was soaked.

His complexion was pale, almost blue. His lips were completely devoid of color.

Only then did I notice the raindrops hitting the window. Wait, why was he wandering around without an umbrella on a rainy day? He didn’t look like he’d just been caught in a brief shower.

Even though the weather had warmed up, it was still February. What if he caught a cold doing this in winter?

I quickly untied the towel around my neck to wipe his wet face. But my hand couldn’t reach him. My wrist was caught in mid-air.

“Won Yoogyeol.”

“Huh?”

Unable to overcome his strong grip, I dropped the towel on the floor. He was nothing like the guy who flinched at the slightest touch these days.

I tried to subtly twist my arm free, but it wouldn’t budge. Even though there were times when he’d misstep and fall on his butt, an Esper was still an Esper.

“Let’s talk for a moment.”

“Uh, okay.”

The atmosphere was unusual. I nodded absentmindedly. I realized something was wrong.

“You’ve been acting strange lately, something changed from the day you gave O Suyeon emergency guiding… So I looked through the CCTV footage from that day.”

“How did you…”

“Who cares.”

“Wait, did you use your ability on the person in charge? Are you crazy? That’s grounds for disciplinary action, you idiot.”

“Is that important now?”

Gye Joonmin spat out each word as if chewing it. The clear anger felt like it was stinging my skin.

“Gye Joonmin.”

“I watched it countless times. Over and over again. I might not know anything else, but I could definitely make out two words. Severance, three months.”

“…”

I couldn’t look at Gye Joonmin nonchalantly. I lowered my eyes and avoided his gaze. His grip tightened on my wrist.

I wanted to hide it from you. I wished you wouldn’t find out.

Because you wouldn’t give up until the end. You would try to find a way, no matter what. You would definitely try everything you could. That’s the Gye Joonmin I know. That’s why I couldn’t tell you.

It was an S-Rank Esper’s premonition. There was no way to change it. It would eventually lead to the predetermined ending.

The moment when efforts turn to bubbles and everything becomes meaningless. I know how terrible the despair and helplessness that will come to you then will be.

It would be several times more painful than when you didn’t know anything. I didn’t want that. It would be a terrible thing to do to you…

You can’t not be hurt, but I wish you would suffer a little less. I thought the weight of your sorrow would be lighter if you accepted it without knowing. So I didn’t want to tell you until the very end.

“Did you hear O Suyeon’s premonition?”

“…”

“If the severance that O Suyeon mentioned is… there’s only one possibility, right?”

“…”

“Tell me, what the hell happened!”

“…”

Gye Joonmin would also know. That the future seen by an S-rank precognitive Esper has never been wrong.

So I chose silence instead of an answer. Gye Joonmin seemed to interpret it as confirmation.

“No. It must be a misunderstanding. Right? Right?”

“…”

No way, that can’t be. Gye Joonmin repeated those words several times. He anxiously brushed his bangs back and then bowed his head toward me.

Gye Joonmin forced the corners of his mouth upwards. He seemed to be trying to smile, but it was no use. His distorted face looked closer to crying.

“Isn’t it? It’s too sudden. Oh, right. I could be mistaken. Yes, that’s right.”

Gye Joonmin seemed to have a lot more to say. However, he couldn’t say anything more and bit his lip.

Silence followed for a moment. Neither I nor Gye Joonmin opened our mouths. Only the intermittent sound of rain hitting the glass could be heard.

As if his legs had given way, Gye Joonmin stumbled momentarily. He barely managed to support himself by placing one arm on the sofa and then looked at me again. I turned my head and avoided his gaze.

“Why does it have to be you? Why? Why!”

Gye Joonmin punched the sofa. Splinters flew everywhere. Even as blood welled up in his hand, he didn’t stop. I shook my head at him, signaling him to stop.

“Stop it, Gye Joonmin.”

At my words, Gye Joonmin weakly dropped his right arm. His dazed gaze turned to me. His eyes were bloodshot, as if blood vessels had burst.

“So, you’re saying you’re going to die in three months? Answer me, Won Yoogyeol. Please…”

“…Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because nothing would change even if I did.”

“Even so! You, you…”

A scream-like cry poured out. I lowered my head and stared at the floor.

The strength drained from the hand holding my wrist. Gye Joonmin slowly stepped back. He covered his face with both hands and quietly caught his breath.

A small, trembling voice leaked out from between his long fingers.

“You, was it because of this that you suddenly started organizing, that you wanted to live separately…?”

It seemed pointless to deny it now. Gye Joonmin is smart and perceptive. Lies wouldn’t work.

As I remained silent, Gye Joonmin wrapped his arms around my neck. His ice-cold hands trembled pitifully.

“No. That can’t happen… Won Yoogyeol, that can’t happen…”

His voice, barely squeezed out as if he was trying to suppress his tears, was laced with moisture.

Gye Joonmin weakly lowered his head. His cold forehead touched mine. An unfamiliar wetness also brushed against me.

Tears, gathered on his long eyelashes, dropped onto my cheek. He was crying. He was sobbing quietly.

Gye Joonmin collapsed as if crumbling. I knelt in front of him to meet his eyes.

“Won Yoogyeol, Yoogyeol… I don’t want to lose you…”

I rubbed Gye Joonmin’s tear-stained cheek with my hand. As if he couldn’t bear it any longer, Gye Joonmin began to cry loudly like a child.

There is someone who cries for me like this. Would I be foolish if I were content with that, if I had no regrets?

Even so, I didn’t want you to be sad. I wanted you to be filled with only happy and warm things. That’s what suited Gye Joonmin best.

I looked up at the ceiling for a moment to hold back my tears. I swallowed hard, forcing something hot down my throat.

You’ve been struggling, haven’t you? I didn’t want to burden you, who has always endured a tiring life, with me as well.

So I wish you wouldn’t suffer because of me. Why are you crying when we should be laughing all the time? It breaks my heart to see you like this, idiot.

I was truly okay. It was enough that you thought of me like this. I felt like it was worth having lived until now. It was all thanks to you.

Oh, there was one thing I regretted. I really wanted to see Gye Joonmin meet Uju hyung and live happily. I thought I would be happy too if that happened.

A silly laugh escaped me. I patted his heaving back.

“Won Yoogyeol.”

“Yeah.”

“I will save you.”

It was a tone full of conviction, unshakeable by anything in the world. Just hearing it made me feel like it would really become reality. I felt like the current Gye Joonmin could achieve anything.

“I won’t stop at anything.”

Gye Joonmin slowly raised his head. He straightened his shoulders and back.

Determination filled his tear-filled eyes. I stared at him as if mesmerized. Unwavering faith, firm resolve, those things suited Gye Joonmin so well.

“I’ll be the first person to break O Suyeon’s premonition, so just watch.”

For a moment, my heart wavered. I wanted to believe Gye Joonmin’s words. I felt an urge to bet everything on the promise he made.

But I quickly pulled myself together. I shouldn’t. I didn’t want to give Gye Joonmin false hope only to make him face greater despair. I shook my head weakly.

“It’s immutable. They said it can’t be changed.”

“There’s no such thing. I’ll never let you die.”

Gye Joonmin’s eyes filled with tears again.

I know what emotions must be gripping you right now.

How many people can calmly accept an unexpected parting? Even more so if it takes the form of death…

Well, I couldn’t. And Gye Joonmin wouldn’t be any different.

We had to part with precious people before we could become strong adults. We had to cope with unwanted loss with our still-growing bodies and minds.

After losing his parents and Uju hyung, Gye Joonmin’s heart was left with only scars. I had torn open that still-unhealed place again. I felt so sorry for that.

I reached out and stroked Gye Joonmin’s eyes as if to soothe him. Perhaps it was counterproductive, as my fingers quickly became soaked.

O Suyeon’s premonitions don’t fail. Gye Joonmin couldn’t not know that. But the fact that he kept denying and denying it… was because he wasn’t ready yet.

So I hoped you could prepare well. Since you’ve already experienced parting, I hoped you could calmly let me go this time.

I’ll have to work hard during the remaining time. So that you can grieve a little less.

Taking a deep breath, I spoke playfully on purpose.

“You crybaby, you’re such a softie.”

“It’s all your fault.”

“Why me?”

“If it weren’t for you, how often would I cry like this? So take responsibility.”

Gye Joonmin demanded responsibility from me in a voice broken by sobs.

“How?”

“…Don’t die.”

“…”

“Don’t leave me.”

You’re returning the very thoughts I had when you were on the verge of a breakdown.

Stroking Gye Joonmin’s back, I thought. We might be quite similar.

You and I have different personalities, tastes, and habits, but we have unexpectedly similar sides in situations like this.

“Won Yoogyeol.”

“Yeah.”

“You mustn’t die.”

Instead of answering, I hugged his trembling back tightly. It was something I couldn’t have imagined before. But now, I felt like I had to do this. I couldn’t bear it otherwise.

“You have to live. You must.”

Gye Joonmin buried his face in my shoulder. We didn’t say anything. We just held each other quietly. For a long time.

At that moment, Gye Joonmin interjected into our conversation.

“No. We can’t conclude anything yet.”

His tone was firm, almost conveying conviction. O Suyeon and I looked back at Gye Joonmin almost simultaneously.

“There are always exceptions in the world. Even fate can sometimes go awry.”

O Suyeon looked up at Gye Joonmin with a dazed expression. It was a reaction as if he had heard something he couldn’t have imagined.

“I… I would really like to see that too. Because that moment would be truly beautiful.”

O Suyeon smiled weakly and bid us farewell. I also bowed my head in return and then remembered what I had to say.

“Esper O Suyeon.”

“Yes.”

“Thank you for telling me. Thanks to you, I gained time to prepare and have been able to live each day cherishing it without wasting it.”

O Suyeon didn’t answer. He just quietly lowered his head. I deliberately ignored the water droplets falling onto his black shoes, one by one.

We took a taxi and got off near the official residence. We had a simple meal at a brunch cafe and slowly strolled through the park.

Gye Joonmin remained silent the whole time. He seemed lost in deep thought. I didn’t want to disturb him, so I also quietly organized my thoughts. I carefully reflected on what O Suyeon had just said and the things I had to do in the future.

“Won Yoogyeol.”

Gye Joonmin called me. I turned to the side and saw him looking at me with an intense gaze.

Ah, his eyes, shining with resolute will, were indescribably dazzling.

“Fate or whatever, we can just change it. Can’t we?”

I closed my mouth, unable to find anything to say in response.

An unchanging future, that’s what fate is, he said. A current that cannot be altered no matter what.

Knowing that, I resigned myself. I had no choice but to helplessly accept the approaching end. Even if I struggled, nothing would change. Because that’s how fate works.

But Gye Joonmin was different. He spoke of changing fate as if it were nothing. As if it were the most natural thing in the world, as if it were truly no big deal.

I couldn’t see any doubt or fear in Gye Joonmin. No, it was as if he didn’t even know such words existed.

I mulled over every word I had just heard. My heart stirred every time I slowly repeated them to myself.

Gye Joonmin’s words had power. The power to transmit his conviction to me and become a driving force.

Suddenly, a premonition gripped me. I thought that Gye Joonmin, you might really be able to change it.

It couldn’t be helped. When faced with such unwavering will, even I couldn’t help but believe.

“I can’t lose another precious person.”

Gye Joonmin declared. Surprised by his unexpected words, I gasped.

“…You, do you cherish me?”

I blurted out the question to Gye Joonmin. It was a word I would never have uttered normally, too embarrassed and shy. But now, I had nothing to fear. In extreme anger mode, I was a bulldozer. And I hadn’t started it. It was Gye Joonmin who spoke first.

“Yes.”

I laughed out loud at his immediate reply.

It’s truly amazing to live this long. To hear Gye Joonmin say that I’m a precious person to him.

A precious person. What, I’m a precious person?

Laughter threatened to burst out uncontrollably. I stealthily raised my hand to cover my mouth. My fluttering breath tickled my palm.

It wasn’t as if another meaning had been added to the word “precious” without me knowing, was it? This, this is real, right? Not a dream?

‘Won Yoogyeol’ and ‘precious person’. I never thought I’d hear Gye Joonmin connect these two. I never even expected it. My goodness, to receive such an unexpected gift in this way.

Ah, there was something I wanted to say to Gye Joonmin right now. It was a story that felt like I would never be able to tell him if not at this moment. If I missed this opportunity, I might regret it for a long time. No, I definitely would.

What should I do? Is it okay to say this? If I got too carried away in my joy… Hmm, I should order a lot of spare blankets. They’ll be full of holes from me kicking them every night.

Still, I wanted to ask. I really wanted to hear your answer.

I swallowed nervously. I was both anxious and excited. I absently scratched my cheek with my finger.

“Gye Joonmin, um, there, you know.”

“Yeah.”

“…If I’m a precious person to you.”

“Yeah.”

I slowly looked up at Gye Joonmin. Meeting his straightforward gaze made my heart flutter. I felt like Gye Joonmin would fulfill anything that came out of my mouth right now. I had a vague feeling about it.

I looked up at the sky. The weather was quite nice. As I slowly inhaled, the fresh air filled my lungs.

I turned my head and looked at Gye Joonmin. He was standing still, waiting for me to speak.

“Then… could you become my family? Is that possible too?”

Perhaps it was an unexpected question, Gye Joonmin’s eyes widened again. He really looks like a rabbit at times like this. Although he’s a giant rabbit who’s 192cm tall.

Gye Joonmin raised his hand and ruffled my hair.

“You’re saying something obvious. You’re already like family to me.”

Contrary to my hesitation, a very clear answer came back. I liked it even more because it was an answer that came without a hint of deliberation.

Ah, I couldn’t contain the surging emotion. In the end, I burst out laughing. No, how can I hold this in? How can I not laugh when I’m this happy?

Precious person. Family. The words I heard from Gye Joonmin made me endlessly elated. It felt like I had the whole world.

Come to think of it, it’s the perfect expression. Gye Joonmin was my everything. And that guy said I was precious to him. Isn’t that the same as having the whole world for me?

I tapped the ground with the toe of my sneaker. I felt like shouting if I could. Ha, what is this? Is it okay for me to be this happy?

Something warm filled the space in my heart that had always been empty. Overwhelmed by an indefinable sense of fulfillment, I laughed out loud again.

Grinning like a fool, I raised my head. Gye Joonmin was looking at me with a dazed expression. If you looked closely, he wasn’t even blinking. With his mouth slightly open, he honestly looked a bit foolish. What, why is he so spaced out?

Just as I was about to ask him what was wrong, Gye Joonmin reached out to me.

It was such an unexpected action that I missed the timing to defend myself. Meanwhile, his hand gently landed on my face. Unable to do anything, I meekly offered my cheek.

Gye Joonmin did nothing. He just kept his hand there quietly.

Somehow, a strange sense of discomfort washed over me. I soon realized why. His touch was hot. Gye Joonmin has a low body temperature, so his hands are usually cool. That’s why this warmth felt unfamiliar.

“Gye Joonmin?”

“Uh, uh?”

“Why? Is there something on my face?”

As if he finally came to his senses, Gye Joonmin’s shoulders flinched. He quickly withdrew his hand and took a half step back.

“Th, that, uh, so… I, I mean, so you…”

“What?”

His rambling was unlike him. Gye Joonmin rubbed his face repeatedly and then looked up at the sky for a moment. He clearly looked flustered.

I was about to press him for an answer, but I stopped.

“So, you’ll be my family? Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Ah, yeah. That’s all I need.”

“Okay, I promise.”

The word “promise” was incredibly pleasing. Didn’t it feel like a knot that tightly bound us together? It was the perfect choice of words.

“Thank you.”

A smile spread across my face. Gye Joonmin slowly blinked and then shook his head a beat later. Soon, his face and neck flushed red.

“Uh, oh, no.”

He seemed embarrassed now. Well, we did say a lot of embarrassing things. To change the awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere, I made a silly joke.

“Be honest, Gye Joonmin.”

“Wh, what?”

“Are you really like family? Aren’t you actually a pain in the ass?”

Gye Joonmin chuckled at my words. Then, as if he had never been embarrassed, he playfully raised his eyebrows. He was incredibly annoying. Damn it, this is Moon Youngsu’s specialty. Being on the receiving end of this from him felt new in a bad way.

Shouldn’t he say no here? I hit his back resentfully.

“You bastard, you should at least give me some lip service and say no at times like this.”

“I’m not the type to lie.”

“Still, it’s good. I didn’t have a family, so this worked out well.”

“Should I add you to my family register?”

“You’re going to register as my son? How about Won Joonmin?”

“What are you talking about? You should be registered under me. Let’s go with Gye Yoogyeol.”

“Let’s decide with rock-paper-scissors.”

“No. I’ll definitely lose.”

“I know.”

We walked along the trail, exchanging trivial conversations. It was all meaningless chatter, but it made me happy.

I was so happy I felt like I could fly. I wasn’t alone anymore. I had a family now.

Yooyoung noona. You know what, I have a family now. It’s Gye Joonmin. Is this a dream or real life? Then does Gye Joonmin become your younger brother? And Damin too? Is it buy one get one free? Wait, wouldn’t this make a messed-up family tree? Joyful and absurd thoughts mingled. Ah, I don’t know. I’m so happy I’m going crazy.

An excited laugh threatened to burst from my lips.

A precious person, like family.

What wonderful words they are. They were words that made my heart race just by gently placing them on the tip of my tongue.

I never wished for a lover or a pair. I didn’t even dare to dream of it. So the position of family was the best possible outcome I could achieve. I was satisfied. I couldn’t wish for anything more.

“Won Yoogyeol.”

“Yeah.”

“The words ‘precious’ are absolutely not empty words. You’re as important to me as Uju hyung or Damin.”

The surrounding sounds became muffled. Only Gye Joonmin’s words reached my heart clearly.

Ah…

It was the highest compliment I could receive from Gye Joonmin.

I felt like tears would burst out if I relaxed even a little. I clenched my teeth and desperately held back my tears.

Won Yoogyeol, keep your eyes open. You can’t cry here. Think of something funny.

I remembered the scene of Gye Joonmin singing during music class in high school. Everyone had lowered their heads and desperately held back their laughter. At that time, there was only one person in our class who had a lower singing score than Gye Joonmin. It was a friend who couldn’t come to school because he went to training camp. For reference, I was right in front of Gye Joonmin. It was an incident where our country’s education system objectively proved that I was better. Sadly, I messed up the music appreciation performance evaluation afterward, so my final score was lower than his. I felt frustrated just thinking about it again.

Recalling that incident barely calmed my heart. It was very effective.

“It’s cold, let’s go home.”

He mumbled and strode ahead. I watched his retreating figure with blurred vision and thought.

Gye Joonmin… says he’ll change my fate.

I felt like Gye Joonmin could somehow pull it off. If he sets his mind to something, he does it. So I have to believe him. I must believe.

So, fate? Let’s overcome it, whatever it is.

Immutable? There’s no such thing. We’ll only know after we try.

The immutable future foretold by an S-rank precognitive. Let’s become the first person to break it. What a wonderful title that is. Oh, that would be nice. It sounds cool.

I shouldn’t give up without even trying. I should do everything I can.

I decided to live my best life. So let’s try everything. So that I won’t have any regrets.

☁️

“Yoogyeol oppa.”

“Yeah?”

“Did you make up with Gye Joonmin?”

“Huh? No, what reconciliation. We didn’t even fight.”

“Come on, it’s obvious.”

Damin chuckled and stuck a balloon on the living room wall. Skillfully placed over a hole, it looked quite decent. I diligently followed him around, tying ribbons to the balloons.

Today was Gye Joonmin’s birthday. Damin and I decided to throw a surprise party.

As a preliminary task, we sent Gye Joonmin out to buy sliced raw fish. He insisted on ordering delivery, but we lay down on the floor and insisted it had to be from the specific place that didn’t offer delivery. In the end, outnumbered, he grumbled and left. There’s nothing you can do against numbers, right?

“Oppa, shouldn’t we go now?”

“Oh, right. Let’s hurry and get him.”

The round trip to the sashimi restaurant took 15 minutes, so we had to hurry. We abandoned the balloons and ribbons and headed for the entrance.

Yesterday, we reserved a cream cake from the bakery in the commercial area on the first floor of the official residence. Honestly, the bread and cakes here are all mediocre, but the ones with fresh cream are pretty good. The cream cake was also amazing.

After picking up the cake from the bakery, I checked the time. It was about time for Gye Joonmin to return. I had to hurry up and finish setting up the rest.

“What did you choose for a gift, oppa? I bought wireless earphones.”

“Good choice.”

It was an excellent gift selection. Gye Joonmin lost one of his wireless earphones a month ago. He could have just bought a new one since he has so much money, but he said it was bothersome and kept wearing only one. He looked so pathetic. Rich people are always like that.

“Right? Why does he walk around with only one side? So, what’s your gift, oppa?”

“Me? Secret.”

“Come on, how can you do that? I told you mine. What is it? Yes?”

“You’ll see later. I’m not telling you.”

“Ah, I’m curious. Tell me.”

I chose a cashmere scarf. It was a gift for the crazy bastard who doesn’t wear a scarf or gloves even when it’s minus 20 degrees Celsius. I always wear a stiff scarf with plenty of fluff, but I never thought I’d buy cashmere in my life.

Be grateful, Gye Joonmin. If you don’t cry when you receive the gift later, I won’t let you off the hook. Then I’ll have to make you shed tears by physical means.

While waiting for the elevator, Damin and I had a heated discussion about where to hide to surprise Gye Joonmin the most. I suggested hiding behind the sofa, and Damin suggested turning off the lights and hiding in the bathroom.

Wait, Gye Joonmin is an Esper. Wouldn’t he notice even if we were stuck to the ceiling?

I was about to point this out, but Damin was thinking so seriously that I kept my mouth shut. Then suddenly, a chilling feeling of unease gripped me.

A heavy air pressing down from above, the surrounding sounds gradually fading, my sense of reality becoming hazy.

I felt a sense of déjà vu. I had encountered a situation like this not long ago.

Suddenly, as I froze, Damin grabbed my arm.

“Yoogyeol oppa, what’s wrong?”

At that moment, the movements of the people on the first floor stopped simultaneously. Except for Damin and me, it seemed like time had stopped.

Damin, as if he also noticed something strange, clung to me. I put my arm around Damin’s shoulder and looked around.

The people around us all turned to look at us at once. Every single one of them had an expressionless face. I got goosebumps.

“You, you’re really amazing.”

The grandfather who was waiting for the elevator with us tilted his head and spoke.

It was an unpleasant tone that grated on the nerves. It was familiar.

“How did you know?”

The middle-aged woman nearby smiled and muttered. In contrast to her smiling mouth, her emotionless eyes darted around eerily.

“Wow, you have really good senses. I’d believe it if you said you were an Esper, huh?”

The boy holding his mother’s hand rolled his eyes. The way he spoke, tilting his head as if he genuinely didn’t know, was disgusting.

“I, you know, I’m not the type to just take things lying down. It makes me so frustrated I can’t sleep at night.”

Just then, the Esper residing on the 5th floor abruptly grabbed Damin’s neck. Damin was dragged away before I could react. As I tried to run to Damin, someone grabbed both my arms from behind and stopped me. I hesitated as I was about to subdue them by elbowing their solar plexus. It was a pregnant woman in her third trimester.

“That bastard, I can’t even be satisfied even if I chew him up. It’s so fucking frustrating, huh?”

A girl who looked about middle school age muttered in a humming tone as if whistling. The girl, no, Ji Seonjae slowly walked towards me.

“It’s only fair to give back what you receive, right?”

“Don’t touch Damin.”

“Why? I lost a lot because of that bastard Gye Joonmin. So it would only be fair if that bastard lost something too, wouldn’t it? Isn’t that a very reasonable way of thinking?”

“Shut up.”

I shouted at Ji Seonjae, who was spouting nonsense. He covered his mouth with one hand and giggled.

“Come to think of it, you owe me something too. Then you should pay it back, right? Yeah, it’s right to settle debts clearly.”

Suddenly, everything went white before my eyes. I stumbled, unable to withstand the impact that hit my head. I tried to maintain my balance, but it was no use. I collapsed to the floor. Damin’s scream was the last thing I heard before I lost consciousness.

☁️

A terrible headache hit me as I opened my eyes. It felt like my brain had turned into liquid and was sloshing around inside my skull. Even being hit on the head with a hammer would probably hurt less than this.

“Ugh…”