A Perfectly Normal Romance Chapter 1.1 - Encounter

Dragging a stiff-wheeled suitcase, I walked down the street, thinking, “I should have fought with him tomorrow.” It would have been perfect if I had come back from today’s gathering, had a blowout fight around dawn, and broken up. Regretting it now was too late.

Spring is a season where the weather is unpredictable, but this year was particularly bad. Flower buds were about to burst on every branch of the street trees, yet the weather was freezing. My hand pulling the suitcase was cold, so I stopped for a moment and glared at it. I had no idea where to leave this darn luggage. But of course, I had a prior engagement. Seriously. Life is just one thing after another.

I stepped aside to avoid being bumped into by passersby, crossed my arms, and leaned against a streetlight. Should I put it in a subway locker? While I was briefly pondering, my cell phone, which I had shoved into my jacket pocket, vibrated insistently. Who could it be? I pulled it out with a sense of foreboding, but my stomach dropped when I saw the name. Multiple voices came from the other end of the phone.

―Jio, where are you?

I tried to mask my despair and answered calmly.

“There’s a bit of a problem.”

―What is it?

“I broke up.”

―So? You said you were going to break up anyway.

“Right. I did say that, didn’t I?”

The good thing about old friends is that no explanation is needed. It wasn’t like this was the first time they’d heard all my stories, good and bad. When we met last week, Geonjung, munching on dried pollack, even said, “Weren’t you already broken up?” But today, this wasn’t something I could brush off so casually.

“I packed my bags and left.”

―Oh.

Finally understanding the situation, Geonjung was quiet for a moment, then seemed to say a few words to someone else. Then, a voice came clearly from the other end of the phone.

―Are you going somewhere?

“I don’t know yet. I’m thinking of looking for a goshiwon tomorrow morning.”

―Then come here first.

“I’ve been kicked out and have a ton of luggage. I’ve crammed my suitcase with my laptop, clothes, and everything.”

―We got a separate room here anyway. Come and put it in the corner.

“You want me to go there now, dragging a suitcase?”

―What else can you do? Seungpyo keeps asking where you are. He’s finished grilling the meat.

“Oh, really….”

If this were any other appointment, I’d ignore it and find a place to sleep, but this was different. Today was the day we finally managed to coordinate our busy schedules to hand out wedding invitations. Daeun barely managed to get off work today because I said this was the only day I could make it. Knowing that, I couldn’t just bail.

And this gathering was quite important to me. Most of the friendships I made in college fizzled out after graduation, and this gathering with my classmates was becoming increasingly precious. I really cherish you guys too. So, I have to go. I know. I know, but I don’t want to go like this. I nudged the suitcase stubbornly trailing behind me with my toe. Even at that moment, Geonjung was unusually insistent.

―Everyone’s here and booked according to the number of people, so they’re telling you to hurry up.

“Is there really a place to put a suitcase there?”

―Yeah. There’s a clothes rack in the corner, put it under that.

“Do you think it’s right for me to go like this?”

―What does it matter? It’s just us.

“That’s right. It’s just us.”

He wasn’t entirely wrong. We met at our first college MT when we were twenty, we’ve seen each other at our best and worst, we even have a few embarrassing videos of each other throwing up from eating lemons during drinking games. We even know all about each other’s dating history. Yeah, well, they’d probably just say, “What’s up?” if I suddenly showed up dragging a suitcase in the middle of the night, and then laugh along when I tell them I got kicked out.

Yeah. What’s there to be embarrassed about? I answered bravely.

“Alright. I’m coming.”

―Hurry up. We’ve already grilled one round of meat.

“Yeah. Clear a corner.”

˙✧˖🎥⋆˙

Exit 4 of the subway station I arrived at had no escalator. All the other exits had them, but not this one. Sighing at the long flight of stairs, I ended up carrying my full 26-inch suitcase and bumping into people as I climbed.

By the time I reached the top, my hand aching and veins bulging, I started to feel that this had been a bad decision. But it was too late to turn back now. I dragged my suitcase over the uneven sidewalk, scanning the store signs. Thanks to the rumbling sound, people kept glancing at me. Even the line of people waiting to get into restaurants felt like an obstacle.

After wandering around for a while, I stopped in front of a lamb restaurant in an alley. Hwayangyeonhwa. A grand name for a restaurant, but I figured the owner was just obsessed with the character for “sheep.” What movie was that? Was it a movie about the best of times? Unlike the cheesy sign written in bold red font, the inside looked quite clean and bustling. At the counter on the first floor, they asked for the name of the reservation.

“Go Seungpyo.”

“Ah. Go up to the second floor.”

She pointed to a narrow side staircase. I looked back with pleading eyes, but the lady was already bustling towards a table that had called her. I was going to ask if I could leave my suitcase at the counter. I lingered for a moment, then finally backed off when a group of people suddenly rushed out from a table to pay. I gripped the handle of my suitcase tightly again and climbed the stairs one by one. In between steps, I gritted my teeth and swallowed a string of curses.

Damn it. I should have fought tomorrow. I should have broken up tomorrow!

The second floor had a long, narrow hallway in the center. Passing by, I peeked inside each doorway, which lacked doors, and went to the room at the very end. Five people were already inside. Five. One more than I expected, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Five people in a small, square room. One of them stood out vividly, etched in my mind.

At that moment, most of the eyes gathered around the two grills turned towards me. The boisterous atmosphere intensified as they started to chime in.

“Jio. Why are you always late?”

“What’s with the suitcase? Going on a trip?”

I casually raised my hand and tried to avoid the lingering stares. I pushed the suitcase into a corner by the door, deliberately turning my back. It felt like cold sweat was prickling on the back of my neck. I needed a moment to prepare myself. To act like everything was normal. It’s okay. I repeated that to myself several times, then turned around and said brightly,

“I’m not that late. The suitcase? I had a fight with my friend and got kicked out.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’ll find a place tomorrow. It’s fine. It’s no big deal. Where do I sit?”

I looked around, but as the latecomer, I had no choice. All that was left was the seat next to Daeun, and the seat facing a face I hadn’t seen in a long time. I inwardly cursed the seating arrangement, but there was no way to avoid it. I pulled out a chair and plopped down. I tried to act nonchalant, but the chair let out a creaking sound. I sat down as if to suppress the sound, picked up and put down my water glass casually, and grabbed my chopsticks.

Then, unable to contain my curiosity, I glanced at the person sitting opposite me. I didn’t think he’d said he was coming. I was absentmindedly trying to find what had changed in Hyun’s face after so long when our eyes met. I quickly looked away.

“Okay. Since Jio’s here, let’s toast again. Congratulations on your wedding, Seungpyo.”

“Hyun’s here too after so long. How long has it been since we last saw Hyun? Was it at the year-end gathering?”

“We didn’t all get together then either. Who couldn’t make it then?”

I couldn’t make it then. Not that I couldn’t, but that I didn’t. It had been years since we’d been at the same gathering.

No one delved further into the past. At Hyegyeong’s urging, everyone clinked their glasses. The faces that had been familiar since we were twenty all looked like they were standing at a crossroads. The same, yet slightly different.

While I was laughing at their teasing, I inadvertently looked straight ahead. Our eyes met again. We scanned each other with indifferent eyes, then emptied our glasses. I tilted my head back, looked at the ceiling, then lowered my gaze. Hyun had already completely averted his gaze from me and turned his head. Even after so long, his jawline was still sharp, and his neck below it was long.

Broad shoulders perfectly fitting his shirt, and a reddish tie. He, who used to have a mostly bored expression with occasional playful smiles, had started wearing suits at some point. I had mostly seen him from afar, or in pictures. Seeing him in person was a first in a while. That’s why I kept looking at him, I guess.

His hair seemed a little shorter than the last time I saw him. It revealed his forehead a bit. His eyes, which appeared indifferent when he wasn’t smiling, were focused on the center of the gathering with a certain level of interest. Even the edge of that cool affection bypassed me.

I absentmindedly scanned the shape of his exposed ear and then turned my gaze in the same direction. Seungpyo, who had just finished talking, made eye contact with me and noticed the suitcase I had placed in the corner.

“By the way, Jio, did you really get kicked out?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“I told you, I had a fight with my friend.”

“Just make up.”

“Forget it. I can’t live with anyone else at this age.”

It was a casual relationship that was already nearing its end, but I knew I’d probably be heartbroken later. But today, that’s all I could think about.

My friends, who thought I was just living with a friend to save money, quickly moved on to other topics. Geonjung, who knew my personality, gave me a subtle look from the far edge of the table and joined the conversation on a different topic.

And again, I felt Hyun’s gaze linger on me a little longer. Like when he first came in. It was an unreadable look. Did he think I was pathetic? I didn’t want to face him. As I ignored him, his gaze shifted away, and as I relaxed my tense shoulders, Daeun, who always showed kind concern, touched my shoulder and asked in a low voice,

“Where are you sleeping tonight, then?”

“I have to go to a goshiwon.”

“Make sure you look around carefully. Remember when I went to a cheap one without knowing anything and ran away before the month was up?”

“I know. We moved your stuff together then.”

“You were there too?”

“I was! Try to remember.”

It was our freshman year of college when we used to meaninglessly flock together whenever something happened. Daeun thought for a moment, then seemed to remember.

“That’s right. You put all my clothes in garbage bags and carried them.”

“There was nothing else to put them in back then.”

“And Hyun carried the books, right?”

At those words, the gaze from across the table returned to us. Hyun, with an unsmiling face, looked at Daeun and nodded briefly.

“Those textbooks were heavy.”

We all met when we were twenty. The beginning of college, when we joined online communities and went to drinking parties to get to know each other, sizing each other up. We spent time together, rallying around each other whenever something happened to one of us, strengthening our bond.

That day, the topic of Daeun’s move came up during lunch at the school cafeteria. Daeun’s belongings were too few to hire a moving company, and she couldn’t carry everything herself, making countless trips. And we couldn’t just stand by and watch after hearing about her plight. So, we each carried her belongings up to her tiny studio apartment at the top of a narrow alley next to the school. That was our first encounter.

Seungpyo and I arrived together, and Geonjung said he’d get another hand and ran off to grab someone. That’s how an unexpected person showed up. Lee Hyun, a head taller than the rest of us, approached us with his striking black and white features.

His appearance was unconsciously captivating. Delicate features, but his dark eyebrows, sharp eyes, and the line of his face, rising from the bridge of his nose down to his chin, drew attention. His well-proportioned body was lean and long, and his skin was fair.

His clear pupils, which seemed to pierce through me, darkened towards the center. An air of confidence and ease permeated his demeanor.

He looked good, but his first impression was intimidating. Even the usually talkative Seungpyo was hesitant, so Geonjung introduced him.

‘This is Lee Hyun. He’s in the business administration department at our school. We were in the same class once in high school.’

‘Hi.’

I figured he wouldn’t be the one to initiate, so I greeted him first. Hyun replied curtly, mirroring my greeting.

‘Hi.’

His tone was indifferent. Seungpyo, who had greeted him at the same time, still looked awkward, but it didn’t matter. With four of us, we figured we could carry everything in one go, two hands each. That was better than making multiple trips.

The goshiwon room we entered, with Daeun leading the way, was cramped. Hyun picked up some items and went out first, and we followed, each grabbing something. I was about to gather the clothes in my arms when I spotted a large garbage bag, stuffed the clothes in, and carried it out. After everyone was out, I finally expressed my honest feelings to Daeun, who stood at the back.

‘How did you live here?’

‘Don’t even ask. I’d rather live in a rooftop room.’

Of course, Daeun retracted that statement a few months later when summer arrived.

The rooftop room she was moving to was farther than we thought. Seungpyo, who had crammed various items into shopping bags and carried them in both arms, was complaining about the weight. I was about to tell him to be quiet when he suddenly clammed up.

‘Why? Should I be louder?’

‘No.’

I was wondering why he had suddenly gone quiet when I saw Hyun’s back and understood. He was silently leading the way, his arms full of the heaviest books, so it probably seemed inappropriate to complain behind him.

Following behind, I kept my pace with Hyun’s back. His back looked great in a perfectly fitted sweatshirt and pants that reached just above his ankles. His rolled-up sleeves revealed toned forearms. His long legs moved gracefully with each step he took up the stairs.

What kind of exercise does he do? I wondered if he also went to that gym near the school that had a 20,000 won monthly discount event to celebrate the beginning of the semester. Probably not. I pictured Hyun in that setting, but quickly erased the image. It didn’t seem to fit. Thanks to all these random thoughts, I didn’t realize how tiring it was.

Daeun’s new studio apartment was on the top floor of a building in an alley, a rooftop room. After carefully placing her belongings inside, the four of us went back out to the roof. Even though we had helped her move, it felt awkward to hang around a girl’s place.

We told her to take care of herself, then immediately left and trudged down the stairs. The afternoon breeze coolly brushed against our sweaty necks. While Geonjung and Seungpyo were excitedly discussing what to have for dinner, Hyun and I walked side by side. I absentmindedly asked him a question.

“Aren’t you tired?”

I asked the question, but I wasn’t expecting much. I just figured he’d act all aloof, like he looked, or maybe just give a short “yes” or something. I only asked because it felt awkward to part ways without saying anything after carrying all that stuff together. Hyun, who had been silent until then, looked at me and leaned in slightly, whispering,

“I’m pretending not to be.”

His voice was quiet but resonant. As he spoke, he winked subtly with one eye. I watched the tips of his long eyelashes flutter, and then he turned back and continued down the stairs with a blank expression. He looks like he’d be a jerk, but he’s surprisingly warm. I thought, following him down the stairs. Then Hyun spoke to the two walking ahead of us.

“I went to a Chinese restaurant at lunchtime. Let’s eat something else.”

I thought he’d just go home, so that was also unexpected. And so, the four of us had dinner, then went to a bar for a beer, then hopped to a second and third round, and eventually ended up taking classes together. After that, we became close.

I was lost in thought for a moment. I wonder if that barbecue restaurant where we had our after-party is still there. Things have changed a lot around the school. I broke off that train of thought as the lady brought us more meat. The meat sizzled on the grill, making a greasy sound. Looking at the lamb chops, with their red meat and white fat marbled together, I said to Seungpyo,

“When we were twenty, we used to just grill thin-sliced pork belly. We’ve really come a long way.”

“You can say that again. Make sure you come to the wedding.”

“Usually, when people say that, they add something like, ‘Your presence is enough of a gift,’ or ‘Don’t worry if you can’t make it.’ You know, just for courtesy’s sake.”

“Put your chopsticks down if you’re not coming.”

“Well…”

I gave a noncommittal answer and as soon as the quickly cooked meat was cut, I dipped it in salt and popped it in my mouth. Chewing on the juicy meat, I felt like I could finally breathe again.

“Delicious. I’ll go.”

“See if I go to your wedding.”

“Whatever.”

I wasn’t sure if same-sex marriage would be legalized in Korea in my lifetime, so I doubted Seungpyo would ever see me get married. To be honest, even if it were legal, it felt like a distant prospect.

Or maybe not. If it weren’t something to hide, would I have tried harder? I don’t know.

We’d known each other for so long that sometimes our conversations would spread like wildfire. For example,

“Seungpyo, how did you propose? Did you play the piano and sing again?”

I had no idea that my casual question, asked while slurping kimchi kalguksu, would become a problem. Hyegyeong, sitting next to Seungpyo, spat out a lamb chop bone and made a horrified face.

“What? That’s his go-to move, isn’t it? Didn’t Seungpyo play the piano for someone else before?”

“Well… back in our freshman year… there was… Surin, was it?”

“No. He played the saxophone for her.”

“Whoa. No, there was another piano one. Right, Jio? You just said ‘again.’”

“Yeah. Hey, I didn’t mean to bring that up.”

“Was that Yerim?”

“Ah, right. The girl Seungpyo broke up with over the phone while he was in the military.”

Wow. Scary. I was mildly shocked watching our pasts being pieced together so quickly. We really knew too much about each other. Seungpyo, stunned by his own past gushing out uncontrollably, slammed down the tongs he was holding.

“Hey! Are we airing all our dirty laundry today? Are you crazy?”

Then, suddenly looking at Hyegyeong next to him,

“Remember when you got dumped by Kyungwon, got completely wasted, and climbed on someone’s car hood?”

“Hey! Why would you say that?!”

“Do you know how hard it was for me back then? I tried to pull you down and carry you on my back, but you wouldn’t budge, so I had to carry you with some engineering student from our school who happened to be passing by. I carried your legs, and he carried your arms. Wow.”

“Oh, my god. Forget it! Just forget it, you jerk. Is that even comparable to playing the piano?”

Hyegyeong protested belatedly, but Seungpyo, already excited, showed no signs of stopping. This was another one of their regular routines. About the time Hyegyeong got dumped by her first boyfriend and practically swept the streets of the school alley with her body. I had only heard about it, but several people here had actually witnessed it. Because I hadn’t answered his calls that night, Seungpyo still brought it up every time he saw me.

“I called Jio so many times that night, but he wouldn’t answer. And Hyun didn’t come out either.”

“Those two were always off doing their own thing and never hung out with us. What were you two always up to?”

I felt like I was going to choke on the lamb I was chewing. Today’s conversation was getting dangerous. But it wasn’t like this was my first rodeo, so I pretended to be interested in the meat, poking around the grill as I gave a vague answer.

“What do you mean ‘our own thing’?”

“Let us in on it. What were you two really doing?”

Well, what we were doing was… if you knew, you wouldn’t want to be a part of it.

It’s funny to say this now, but I probably wouldn’t have dated a man if it hadn’t been for Hyun. To begin with, Hyun wasn’t even close to my ideal type. I preferred someone more dependable, with strong features, kind, not too sensitive… it’s all pointless now, though.

Lee Hyun hung out with us for a semester, then failed to meet the minimum GPA requirement for his scholarship, so he wasn’t going to get it for the second semester. Even as he said this, his expression was unconcerned. I was more surprised than he was.

‘Are you sure you’re okay with that?’

‘It’s fine.’

‘Won’t your family say anything?’

‘They did ask if I was done playing around.’

As he said that, Hyun took a sip of his canned beer. It was the middle of summer vacation, at some rock festival, I think. Was it a rock festival? Anyway, it was a concert. Somewhere by the Han River. But those details aren’t important.

That day, Hyun was wearing jeans and a crisp white t-shirt. Even his hair, fluttering in the wind and casting shadows on his smooth forehead, looked effortlessly stylish. We were walking across the vast lawn, watching a balloon rise high into the blue sky. I felt a nudge on my arm and turned around.

‘How are your grades?’

‘Screwed.’

My grades, which had completely tanked since starting college, were beyond worrying; they were hopeless. That’s why I was so carefree about worrying about other people’s grades.

We wandered around looking for shade, or watched the long lines at corporate booths giving out freebies. We didn’t talk much. We just played silly games like wiping the sweat from our sun-baked necks with our hands, or suddenly pressing our cold drinks against each other’s cheeks. Occasionally, long, resonating music and the roar of the crowd singing along filled the air.

Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I glanced sideways. I saw the two girls who had asked if we came together when we were buying beer earlier. They weren’t the only ones who kept appearing around us. I pretended not to notice and matched Hyun’s pace, saying casually,

‘Maybe I should have come with the others.’

‘Why?’

‘People keep asking if we came together.’

‘Yeah.’

Hyun replied softly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Then he suddenly asked,

‘Would you have included them if they said they were coming?’

‘Why? Don’t you want them to come?’

‘Do you?’

A breeze blew, cooling the humid air. I fanned myself with my hand. It was the heat. That’s why my face was getting hot. Hyun stared at my gradually reddening face.

‘I don’t.’

‘Did you fight with someone?’

‘No. I don’t want anyone else between us.’

And then Hyun took another sip of his beer. His slightly narrowed eyes met mine. The ticklish sensation deep inside me had been bothering me for a while. I think I was a little annoyed at that moment. What am I supposed to do when you act like this?

Still, I held back that day. Feeling his gaze lingering on me, I deliberately took a deep breath, talking about the smell of grass, focusing my attention on the music of some unknown band.

‘Nice song.’

‘Yeah.’

We had that kind of conversation. By the time he gave that reply, Hyun’s tone was flat, his eyes fixed on the distant stage above the heads of the crowd. The faint sound of live music echoed around us.

I felt relieved that his gaze wasn’t on me anymore, but also a pang of regret. That’s how we measured the distance between us, circling each other, treading carefully. As close friends, as people who could call on each other anytime.

As people who stayed up late in the library together during exam periods, walking down in the early morning breeze, eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner together before parting ways. Sometimes, we’d go over to each other’s rooms in the evening and make ramen. Hyun, after eating the ramen I made, would offer to make it himself, then bring me something horribly overcooked and mushy. But after a few months, it became somewhat edible. Even more so the following semester.

That day was the last day of the autumn festival, much like the summer festival we’d been to. The stalls and tables that had filled the lawn in front of the humanities building were now a chaotic mess in the late night. Seungpyo, who had been stumbling around, finally collapsed. Literally, he lay down on the lawn. He wasn’t the only one. It was noisy everywhere. The student council, sitting far away at the edge, started talking about cleaning up. But even then, the sounds of laughter and chatter continued.

The lights strung haphazardly in the trees swayed. Below them, Lee Hyun leaned back in his chair, looking at me. His languid eyes were glazed with alcohol. It wasn’t often that Hyun got drunk. In that sense, today was a great opportunity. I had been downing drinks, trying to work up the courage to say something.

‘I’m not getting drunk at all today…’

‘Aren’t you drunk, Jio?’

‘Nope.’

The more nervous I got, the more sober I became, while the alcohol just made me hotter. In dramas and movies, everyone gets drunk and just spills their guts. Why wasn’t it working for me? I stared blankly into space, then roughly ruffled my hair and thought, should I just blurt it out?

‘Hyun.’

“Yeah.”

“You know, we…”

I decided to just come out and say it. As soon as I made up my mind, my voice got louder. Hyun tilted his head slightly, echoing my words in a somewhat awkward tone.

“We?”

His soft voice seemed to touch a nerve in my tense neck. My shoulders slumped. Was it because of his calm tone, so different from my loud voice? My courage quickly dwindled.

No. It might not be a big deal in hindsight. When that time comes, I might think it’s better that I didn’t say anything. I might give up on this on my own. Let’s not say anything unnecessary.

“…Never mind. Let’s go.”

I moved busily, avoiding his gaze. I nudged the sleeping Seungpyo with my foot to wake him up. I brushed off some grass stuck to his back and arms, then slapped him on the back to get him up, calling out to him deliberately loudly.

“Let’s go, you punk. It’s late.”

After watching me rouse Seungpyo with a great commotion, Hyun sighed and got up.

The three of us stumbled out of the school. I grabbed Seungpyo by the back of his neck as he tried to jaywalk across the street and shoved him into a passing taxi. Trusting him to handle the fare himself, I gave the driver his address and closed the door.

Hyun and I lived in roughly the same direction. If we followed the main road to the right, we’d reach his officetel, and to get to my place, I had to go further down a dark alley in the student housing area. Hyun didn’t go straight to his officetel that day. Instead of entering his building, he walked with me.

“Aren’t you going in?”

“I’m going to walk to sober up.”

Without another word, Hyun followed me. We crossed a small crosswalk, turned right at the chicken place we often went to with the others, and walked up a slight incline. Then we turned right again. Now it was time to climb the stairs. It wasn’t a stroll anymore.

Actually, the path hadn’t been very good since we passed the chicken place. I placed my right foot on the first shallow step and turned around. I was about to say goodbye when I noticed Hyun’s expression under the streetlight. He looked incredibly serious. Uncharacteristically so. His intense gaze made me ask,

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You… really…”

He sighed, shaking his head. He ran a hand through his hair, styled with wax for the occasion.

“Jio.”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t you have anything to say?”

“Huh?”

“What you were about to say earlier.”

“…”

“Oh, really.”

“What?”

I was playing dumb, even though I knew exactly what he meant. Had Hyun been looking at me with the same feelings earlier? Finally, I saw his usually long, almond-shaped eyes crinkle slightly, unable to contain his emotions.

“I’ve never confessed my feelings first before.”

“…”

“You’re really making me do this.”

He stepped closer, one step below me on the stairs. His hand reached up, cupping my neck and gently pulling me towards him. The sensation of that frozen, vivid moment was still incredibly clear.

Unlike the faces drawing closer in that memory, the distance between us now, sitting across the table, felt vast. Hyun’s face, distant from that bluish dawn memory, felt strangely unfamiliar. Just as I was getting lost in thought, another voice interrupted.

“Those two were always fighting, making up, clinging to each other, then fighting again. It’s been a while since their last fight, and now they’re acting like they don’t know each other.”

“We didn’t fight.”

“Yep, that response right there. That means they fought.”

“We didn’t.”

“Then what is it?”

“We drifted apart.”

We broke up.

“Sure, you didn’t fight.”

I glared at everyone staring at me, retorting to their comments after my reply. Hyun picked up his glass without answering the question directed at him. I decided I wouldn’t answer either from now on.

“Hyun’s so cold, he’s not even looking at Jio. Make up, you guys.”

“Daeun, stop it.”

I appreciated her trying to help, but I wanted her to stop. Thankfully, seeing my desperate expression, Daeun pressed her lips together. Then Seungpyo tapped the slightly burnt grill with the tongs, drawing everyone’s attention to him. I wondered what nonsense he was about to spout, and sure enough,

“No, you guys don’t know Lee Hyun.”

He said something completely irrelevant and pointless. Seungpyo’s face was flushed with alcohol. I had no idea how he managed to function at company dinners with his low tolerance. I nudged Daeun’s arm and asked,

“Is Seungpyo drunk?”

“I think so. He never learns his limit.”

As we whispered, I suddenly noticed Hyun staring intently at Seungpyo’s profile.

“You know, Hyun may seem like that, but he’s actually very sentimental. You guys don’t know what he was like when he broke up with his girlfriend, right?”

“We’ve never even seen Hyun’s girlfriend. Did he even date anyone? I mean, he did, right?”

Hyegyeong chimed in, and Seungpyo seemed thrilled.

“I was coming back from a club activity, and there was someone sitting at the bottom of a slide, downing soju straight from the bottle.”

“Seungpyo.”

“There was this person sitting there, all red, crying, so I looked closer and…”

“Go Seungpyo.”

The sound of a glass being placed down echoed sharply. I saw the alcohol overflowing from the glass, wetting Hyun’s fingertips and dripping onto the table. Looking at the shimmering surface, I flinched, just like Daeun. In the sudden silence, Hyun gave a suppressed laugh. But, reading the room, he seemed to decide to calm down and wrap things up.

“Why are you bringing that up? Let’s talk about you. We’re here for your wedding.”

“Uh… yeah. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Hyun, after replying “It’s okay,” wiped his fingertips with the wet towel offered to him and changed his expression. The conversation resumed, somewhat awkwardly. This time, the topic was the wedding venue. Everyone was talking about the venue, but it was clear their minds were elsewhere. Probably because of Hyun’s interrupted story. But Seungpyo was already getting increasingly carried away talking about his wedding, so it seemed unlikely the topic would change.

Taking a sip of my beer mixed with a splash of goji berry liquor, I thought to myself. When Seungpyo was doing club activities… could that have been it? Was it around the time we broke up? But let’s not jump to conclusions. It could have been a different club activity, or maybe, while I wasn’t seeing him, Lee Hyun found true love, broke up, and was drowning his sorrows in soju at the playground.

One of the few things I’d learned with age was not to be presumptuous. But him downing soju straight from the bottle until his face was red… How much did he drink to end up like that?

I couldn’t imagine it. But what if it was the day we broke up…? What was I doing that day? As I took another sip and tried to recall, a mortifying memory suddenly surfaced. I let out a chuckle, and the beer I was about to swallow went down the wrong pipe. I burst into a coughing fit, my throat and nose burning.

“Cough. Cough. Hack. Wheeze…”

“Oh, are you okay? Here’s a tissue.”

I wiped my mouth with the handful of tissues Daeun gave me, still coughing. My throat and the inside of my nose felt like they were on fire. Then, the memory that had taken over my mind struck me as so funny that I started giggling, mortified. Oh, god. My nose was burning.

Rubbing my nose, I finally looked up and made eye contact with Hyun, who was staring straight at me. My already flushed face couldn’t get any redder, but his gaze felt like it could pierce right through me. Daeun whispered, handing me more tissues,

“Jio, stop laughing.”

“No… I wasn’t laughing because of that.”

Even Daeun, who was looking after me, didn’t seem to believe me. I really wasn’t choking from laughing because I was picturing Hyun looking ridiculous. I felt a little wronged. Seungpyo started the story and got away with just mentioning Hyun’s name once, but I get glared at like I’m about to die just for laughing?

˙✧˖🎥⋆˙

The awkward atmosphere only dissipated after we decided to change venues and got up. I was the last one out, fiddling around, gathering my things, putting my phone in my pocket, and dragging my suitcase down the stairs. With each step down, I gritted my teeth as the suitcase banged against my knees. My knees were going to give out.

When I opened the door on the first floor, the others were huddled at the end of the alley, searching for nearby pubs on their phones. They were chattering amongst themselves. Hyun was standing alone in front of a narrow alley next to the restaurant, lighting a cigarette. I realized I had been staring at his tall figure from head to toe and quickly looked down at the ground.

“Shin Jio.”

Even so, he must have noticed me staring. The rumbling sound of my suitcase followed me as I approached him. I stopped in front of him and looked at him awkwardly. Hyun was looking at me with sharp eyes. I knew I should be nicer, but,

“Was my laughing really something to get that mad about?”

“Jio.”

For a moment, I had a terrifying thought that Hyun might exhale his smoke and burn me with the glowing end of his cigarette. The reddish light of the restaurant sign partially obscuring his face made him look even more intimidating. And the fact that he was smirking at me, picking a fight, was actually a little scary.

“You think I’m funny, don’t you?”

“No, I wasn’t laughing at you.”

Seeing his expression about to crumple again, I quickly added, I really wasn’t laughing at you just now. I don’t even know exactly when that day was, and it might not have been because of me, right?

“I was just laughing thinking about how embarrassing I was.”

“I know you think I’m a pushover, but at least put some effort into your lies.”

“I’m telling the truth.”

This jerk’s pride is hurt, he’s really pissed. I carefully gauged his mood, then finally confessed. I had to say something at this point if I wanted him to believe me. I can’t believe the day would come when I’d say this out loud.

“I was wondering if that day was the day we fell apart, so I was trying to remember what I was doing, and you know, I was in my room, crying, holding onto the matching phone charms we got at the amusement park.”

“What?”

“You know, the raccoon… couple phone charms… we bought at Neverland… We both got the boy version because we said only guys would have them. I was trying to find all that cheesy stuff to throw away, and I found them. I sat down on the floor to pick them up… and I just started bawling? Like, you know, those beggars in historical dramas, clutching rice balls and crying…”

Oh, crap, I shouldn’t have added that last part. I regretted it as soon as I said it. But his glare seemed to soften a bit, or so I imagined. His face seemed to relax too. Did it? I think it did. I wiggled my fingers, wanting to smooth out the wrinkles between his eyebrows, then tightened my grip on my suitcase and glanced sideways. The others seemed to have almost decided where to go, choosing between two places. I had to say what I needed to say and get out of there.

“So, from now on, even if we make the same mistake, no wait, Seungpyo was more at fault, but anyway, don’t glare at me like that. You’re really scary when you do that. Got it?”

Seeing his reddish lips part slightly, I quickly turned around, dragging my suitcase, and went over to the others. Guys, please save me.

Trailing the sound of rolling wheels, we moved to a fairly spacious pub inside an alley. This time, I strategically placed my suitcase and managed to secure the seat next to Geonjung, at the very end. Seungpyo sat across from me. Finally, I felt at ease.

I was filling my glass with beer and dipping dried snacks in soy-mayonnaise sauce while listening to Seungpyo lamenting about how many times he’d lined up at the department store in the morning to buy wedding rings.

“Why do you keep having to line up?”

“Man, I didn’t know. Even if you have the money, you can’t buy them. They say the popular lines are always out of stock. Eunjeong and I struck out three times at Rolex last week.”

After he finished speaking, he suddenly stared at me with wide eyes. I stared back, blinking, and asked,

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Jio, do you want to take over Eunjeong’s room when her lease is up?”

“Where is it?”

“Near Euljiro Station. The alley it’s on is quiet and nice. The facilities aren’t amazing, but it’s good for the price.”

“How much is it?”

“3,000 won deposit and 300,000 won monthly rent. I don’t think there are any maintenance fees.”

“Is it a 20-minute walk from the station?”

“No, it takes less than 5 minutes. It’s just one block behind the main street. There’s a convenience store across the street, it’s really nice.”

“Then why is it so cheap?”

“The landlord doesn’t care about the building, so it’s old. The appliances inside are decent, though. He sometimes doesn’t answer the phone when you call about something that’s broken. But you’re a guy, you can wait a month or so if the hallway light goes out, right?”

“Does it actually get fixed within a month?”

“You might see him once every two months. I ended up replacing it myself.”

“Let me see a picture.”

I held out my hand, and after a few fumbles, Seungpyo showed me some pictures on his phone. 300,000 won monthly rent near a subway station in the heart of Seoul. The room looked a bit old, but it seemed clean, probably because the previous tenant kept it tidy. Since it was an older studio apartment, it definitely looked more spacious than the cramped new builds these days. Not bad. It would be better for me, since I often brought work home and needed space to edit.

“If you want it, you have to tell Eunjeong quickly. One of her juniors was thinking about it, but decided to go to a new build because she’s a girl. Someone will snatch it up right away if you don’t want it.”

“Okay. Tell her I’ll take it.”

Seungpyo sent a text message, and a reply came back just as we finished our snacks and ordered more.

“She says you should see the room first. You’ll have to live there for two years if you sign the contract.”

“Okay, let me know when you’re free. Let’s go see it. When is she moving out?”

“After the wedding. We’re on a tight schedule with the renovations.”

Let’s see. Thinking about the date on the wedding invitation I just received… about three months left? I couldn’t help but sigh.

“Ugh. Three months in a goshiwon. I really hate this.”

“You said you were going to a goshiwon anyway.”

“I was planning to find a place soon. I can’t stand being cooped up, I need space to work on my editing and stuff.”

But there was nothing I could do. Finding a room that size at that price in the middle of Seoul was practically impossible, unless it was through connections like this. I knew this all too well, having searched high and low for a place after getting kicked out during college.

“Tell Eunjeong thanks. And thank you too.”

I made up my mind as I thanked him. Let’s just endure three months in a goshiwon. I’ll figure it out. Then Geonjung asked from beside me,

“Don’t you have any friends you can live with for a while?”

“Should I start looking now?”

I replied jokingly, but the moment I turned my head, I felt a sharp gaze retract. I instantly regretted my flippant response.