Gutter Chapter 11.1

Intense scenes, like lightning flashing brightly in the sky, briefly grazed his mind. The moment his younger brother was swept away by the current, and his father and mother subsequently fell into the valley. The day he disappeared, consumed by fire, and the pieces of the harsh reality he didn’t want to revisit, where even his grandmother passed away due to illness.

Perhaps he was still endlessly wandering in a nightmare.

‘My one and only grandson, he’s not here. I seem to have lost him again. What if that’s the case… What… what should I do.’

He couldn’t forget his grandmother’s pale face and heartbroken voice, the last time he saw her. His grandmother desperately searched for her grandson. As if the time she had spent with him meant nothing. It was as if she was reminding him that he was clinging to an illusion all by himself.

If that was his grandmother’s true feeling, then what was he? The thought of what kind of existence he was to his grandmother made his chest ache. Even if his heart were torn into shreds, it wouldn’t be more painful than this.

Perhaps it was because he had been starved of companionship for so long. Even after seeing her last moments searching for Lee Hanwook, he didn’t resent his grandmother. He would be content to be used as a substitute for Lee Hanwook for the rest of his life, as long as she lived. Even if she denied him until the very end, he wished the intensive care unit and the funeral were all just a long dream.

But every time he opened his eyes, Yeonjo was plunged into despair, confirming that he was in Boss Gu’s officetel.

And unlike Yeonjo, who was largely bound by the past, reality continuously pushed the past aside and moved forward.

I want to get out of here.

Yeonjo, who had fallen ill immediately after being brought to Boss Gu, whimpered from the pain of his muscles twisting. Even though he was covered with a blanket, he was so cold that he had to curl up to conserve body heat.

Every time he regained consciousness, he was still in the officetel. When the familiar ceiling came into his blurry vision and he saw Boss Gu’s figure, he begged and pleaded in a hoarse voice to leave this place.

However, once the raging fever began to subside and his body recovered somewhat, his desire to leave melted away like snow. He was so disoriented that he couldn’t even gauge how many days he had been lying down. At the same time, he felt no will or desire.

Even if Boss Gu personally kicked him out of this place right now, he wouldn’t know where to go. He was so listless that he wondered if he had ever had any motivation.

Even when he heard sounds from outside the door, Yeonjo closed his eyes again without moving.

Sometimes when he woke up briefly, he would see a large back lying next to him on the bed, and sometimes it would be completely empty. Although he got up very occasionally to drink water or use the bathroom, Yeonjo spent most of his days asleep.

The officetel quickly became dirty, and at some point, it began to be neatly cleaned, as if Boss Gu had hired someone to do it.

As if he were unrelated to such things, Yeonjo didn’t get up. He just lay there desperately, as if dead, with his eyes closed.

Perhaps trying to escape with his grandmother was too much of a greedy wish in his situation. He should have stayed by her side longer, more often, than focusing on treatment.

Every time he reflected on his own foolishness, helplessness clung to him more tenaciously, dragging Yeonjo’s spirits to rock bottom. As time passed, his chest felt tighter and tighter as everything he had done seemed meaningless.

“Cha Yeonjo, wake up.”

Boss Gu called Yeonjo a long time after the funeral ended. Since he hadn’t been asleep, Yeonjo, of course, heard his voice, but he pretended to be asleep without opening his eyes.

After a while, he heard the clattering of dishes, and then Boss Gu roughly propped him up, supporting his back and shoulders. And then he abruptly shoved a spoon into his hand.

Yeonjo, forced to open his eyes, looked at him as if asking, ‘What is this?’, and Boss Gu held out a bowl of porridge, saying,

“Eat.”

Yeonjo looked down at the bowl Boss Gu had forced onto his lap. The lukewarm, thick porridge was sloshing as if it were about to overflow.

The smell of the plain rice porridge made him belatedly realize that his stomach was empty. When was the last time he had a proper meal? He tried to count the days, but he couldn’t remember.

Although he felt hungry with the food in front of him, he had no appetite. Rather, he felt drained by the dizziness that washed over him, probably because he had gotten up for the first time in a while.

While he just sat there blankly, Boss Gu, wearing a black turtleneck, took the spoon and scooped up some porridge. And he held it directly in front of Yeonjo’s mouth.

“Open your mouth.”

“…….”

Yeonjo blinked slowly. He could swallow if told to, but he didn’t want to eat. Even though the porridge that spilled from under the spoon was dripping onto the blanket, neither of them seemed to care.

Frustrated by Yeonjo’s lack of response, Boss Gu forcefully grabbed his face and made him open his mouth.

“Ahh…!”

His vocal cords, moving for the first time in a while, felt as if they were tearing. It was only natural since he hadn’t even been drinking water properly. Yeonjo clutched his throat with both hands and groaned.

“Swallow.”

“Gulp.”

Even seeing Yeonjo in pain, Boss Gu shoved the porridge into his mouth. His mouth filled with lukewarm porridge. Since he wouldn’t let go of his face, he had no choice but to swallow by moving his throat.

Only after hearing the gulping sound did Boss Gu release Yeonjo.

“…….”

Yeonjo coughed for a moment, and seeing Boss Gu scoop up more porridge with the spoon, he swatted his hand away. As a result, a lump of the thick porridge fell onto the blanket.

“…….”

He silently picked up the spoon and scooped up more porridge. When Yeonjo pushed his arm away, the spoon wobbled again, spilling the porridge.

This was repeated several times. When only half of the porridge remained in the bowl, Boss Gu’s eyebrows, which had been holding steady until now, twitched.

Muttering a low curse, he lifted the bowl and poured the porridge into his own mouth.

“Wh, what are you doing!”

Before Yeonjo could refuse, he pushed his lips against his and poured the contents into Yeonjo’s mouth. Disgusted by the food that flooded his mouth simultaneously with the touch of lips, Yeonjo desperately pushed Boss Gu’s shoulders. When he didn’t budge, he hit him, stamped his feet, and finally bit down hard on his lips that were pressed against his.

“Mmmph…ugh, uck.”

Even though the sound of tearing flesh could be heard, he acted as if he couldn’t feel the pain and concentrated solely on force-feeding Yeonjo the porridge.

Finally, after all the porridge Boss Gu had been holding in his mouth had passed into Yeonjo’s esophagus, he parted his lips.

“You crazy bastard.”

“Are you any better, determined to starve yourself to death?”

Yeonjo rubbed his jaw and the area around his lips, which were messed up with mashed porridge, with the back of his hand. He glared at him, catching his breath after the struggle.

Regardless, Boss Gu licked the blood flowing from his lower lip and collected the empty bowl and spoon.

“Crazy bastard. Ha, I told you I wouldn’t eat!”

“If you don’t eat on time, I’ll do this again next time.”

“I said I’m not eating! Just leave me alone! I told you to leave me alone, why… why can’t you even do that…! Ugh.”

Yeonjo, who had been shouting in anguish, felt something rising up from his solar plexus and bent over. Soon after, the porridge he had just swallowed spewed out of his mouth.

“Ugh!”

His stomach, which hadn’t received food for a long time, couldn’t handle it and threw it all up. The pain of his stomach twisting continued.

Yeonjo couldn’t stop retching until clear gastric juices came out. His stomach burned as if it were on fire, and a throbbing headache followed, making it difficult to lift his head.

“Ha… haaa.”

“This, son of a bitch.”

Lifting his head, catching his breath, Yeonjo met Boss Gu’s sharply gleaming eyes. Instead of cowering as he usually would at the harsh curse, Yeonjo was consumed by a destructive feeling, wishing that he would become even angrier and hit him.

Just like he had done to Jo Joowon, he felt that it wouldn’t be so bad to be beaten with all his might and actually die. Then this tiresome life, stained with nothing but loneliness and loss, would quickly come to an end.

“Hit me.”

Yeonjo goaded him into violence, staring directly into Boss Gu’s eyes. The veins in his neck and temples throbbed.

“You want to hit me, don’t you.”

“…….”

“Just hit me like you usually do! Kick me with your feet and punch me with your fists!”

As Yeonjo shouted, Boss Gu fiercely threw the bowl he was holding. Clang! The loud sound of porcelain shattering against the floor resonated.

Boss Gu immediately grabbed Yeonjo by the collar. He raised his other hand, as he always did, about to swing it, but he hesitated when he saw Yeonjo smiling.

There was definitely a smile on the corner of Yeonjo’s lips. The violent heaving of his chest subsided momentarily, and then, like a popped balloon, the rage that had been filling his entire body escaped. He couldn’t put any strength into his hand anymore. It was a strange phenomenon he had never experienced before in his life.

“…….”

Boss Gu didn’t understand why he couldn’t move, as if frozen.

In the world he lived in, strength was logic, money, and power. If someone didn’t listen, you could subdue and fix them by hitting them. He did want to fix Cha Yeonjo, but he didn’t want to hit him. Why did he feel this way? Boss Gu wondered.

If violence wasn’t an option, what method should he use to fix him? He didn’t even know how he wanted to fix Yeonjo. Should he fix him so that he could eat by himself? Or get out of bed? Was it even right to use the word ‘fix’?

His head was in a mess.

If he just suppressed him with violence, that would be the end of it. Although there was a clear answer that Gu Mooncheon had proven countless times in his life, such things were useless against Cha Yeonjo. Cha Yeonjo had never once been clear. From the moment they reunited, the confusion that gripped and swayed him had always been ambiguous and opaque.

Indeed, a weak person like Yeonjo was even more powerless against violence. Even if he pretended not to be afraid and put up a sharp front, he was bound to kneel before excruciating pain. He could make it happen right now. It had always been that way.

Boss Gu tightened his fist around Yeonjo’s collar. He was certain that if he continued like this, it wouldn’t take even 10 minutes for Yeonjo to spit out the words he wanted. But he didn’t want to.

Seeing Yeonjo’s exhausted expression, as if he didn’t care if he got hit, made his breath catch in his throat. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t put any strength into his fist, and his motivation only waned. Why? He had subdued countless people with his strength. Why only Cha Yeonjo…?

“You want to make me like Jo Joowon, don’t you? Why are you pretending to worry? Just hit me!”

Boss Gu released Yeonjo’s collar and spoke in a monotone voice.

“I won’t hit you.”

The corners of Yeonjo’s slightly upturned lips trembled. His apathetic attitude fueled his emotions even more fiercely.

“Liar.”

His current appearance was nothing short of hypocritical. After ruining him like this, after being so eager to drag him to the bottom and trample him to the point of no return…

“When I begged you not to hit me, you beat me to death, and now you’re tired of it? Why. Do you suddenly pity me? Or are you thinking about how to torment me more?”

Yeonjo shouted, his eyes flashing red with bloodshot eyes.

“I told you, there’s nothing left to take from me. So just kill me! I’ll die quietly by your hand, so hit me!”

As he lost his reason, pushed him, and screamed, he suddenly felt a blood-drying sensation from deep within his throat. Soon after, his vision began to spin, and objects around him blurred and scattered.

“Ahh….”

Overwhelmed by severe dizziness, Yeonjo grabbed his forehead and lowered his head. Even as he struggled to hold onto consciousness, his body went limp and he collapsed.

“Cha Yeonjo.”

He vaguely heard Boss Gu calling his name. He seemed to be shaking his body, but his senses were dulled.

Why am I like this all of a sudden? Yeonjo floundered, trying to grab the sheets within his reach. However, the fabric only brushed his fingertips, and he couldn’t even make a proper fist.

Contrary to his will, his fading consciousness quickly sank completely into unconsciousness.

🚬

He didn’t know how many times he woke up coughing like a seizure in his sleep. He mostly fell back asleep, so he didn’t remember clearly.

He had no strength in his body. It was as if the air had weight, pinning his limbs down, making him unable to move. He felt like he was about to wake up, but then fell back asleep due to intense fatigue, repeating this cycle over and over.

Occasionally, he felt something flowing into his mouth. Then, after a while, he regained some strength, but it didn’t last long.

Yeonjo regained consciousness after a long time. The sheets, which had been soaked with porridge, had been replaced with new ones, and the savory smell of food wafted in from the living room.

His throat was so dry that it outweighed his hunger. Yeonjo got out of bed barefoot. After drinking water like a madman and quenching his thirst, his mind finally cleared.

How long had he been lying down? Yeonjo slowly looked around the officetel. He remembered yelling at Boss Gu and then collapsing…

Holding the water bottle, Yeonjo inadvertently looked at the neatly organized kitchen. The pot was full of porridge boiled with beef, and side dishes of various kinds were arranged in containers. Cups, plates, and cutlery were all neatly arranged.

Boss Gu couldn’t have done it. He must have hired someone. But even seeing the food, he still didn’t have an appetite. He hadn’t eaten properly for days, so his body staggered with every few steps, unable to keep his balance, but Yeonjo didn’t feel the need to eat the porridge in front of him.

After confirming that the front door was still locked, Yeonjo turned around with a resigned expression. As soon as he lay back down on the bed, his stomach growled. Now he didn’t even have the energy to cough, and even his throat, which had always been a problem, was quiet.

It seemed that it wouldn’t be bad if his breath stopped at some point like this. If he lived any longer, only meaningless pain would follow. Perhaps he should have died with his family in that valley when he was six years old. Surviving wasn’t a matter of good luck. Rather, the opposite.

Yeonjo stared at the ceiling, trying to recall his parents and younger brother, whose faces he couldn’t even remember now. The photos had burned, and they were gone from his memory, too. His family, his will, his grandmother. In the end, he hadn’t held onto anything. All that remained were old grudges and a weary body.

The memories of his past struggles to escape from this reality seemed so distant.

Just as he was drifting in and out of sleep, someone carefully lifted his shirt. Something cold and hard touched his chest.

Startled, he opened his eyes to see a strange man in a white shirt holding a stethoscope.

“Mr. Cha Yeonjo, do you have any particular discomfort or pain?”

He thought he hadn’t been asleep, but apparently, he had been. He didn’t know when the man had entered. The stranger adjusted his glasses and instructed Yeonjo to take a deep breath. A doctor? He wasn’t in a hospital but still in the officetel.

Over the man’s shoulder, he saw Boss Gu leaning against the bedroom doorframe with his arms crossed. The doctor, feeling pressured by his presence behind him, stiffly examined Yeonjo with a tense look.

“You have symptoms of malnutrition and a slight fever, but I need to know specifically where and how you’re hurting… to make an accurate diagnosis…”

The doctor spoke in a shrinking voice, constantly glancing at Boss Gu. Yeonjo just listened quietly as if he couldn’t speak. The silence grew longer, and the atmosphere grew colder.

“If… if you don’t tell me, I can’t do anything…. I’ll prescribe you some medicine for now….”

Because of Boss Gu’s chilling gaze, the doctor’s words became increasingly tangled. Since Yeonjo remained silent until the very end, the doctor barely managed to write a simple prescription and handed it to Boss Gu. Then, leaving a remark that it would be good to make an appointment and visit the hospital for a detailed examination, he rushed out of the officetel as if fleeing.

“Get up.”

Boss Gu said to Yeonjo.

“Eat.”

“…….”

Yeonjo blinked as if he hadn’t heard anything. He didn’t know if he was hungry anymore. He thought he saw his grandmother in a dream. As soon as he woke up, the scenes from his dream scattered, and he couldn’t remember anything. His head felt empty.

“Are you going to starve to death like this?”

Boss Gu snapped menacingly after checking that Yeonjo’s pillowcase was wet.

“How long are you going to wallow in self-pity?”

“…….”

“Speak, Cha Yeonjo.”

When there was no reply, he gritted his teeth. After staring at him with a grim expression for a while, he suddenly went out to the living room and brought back a bowl of porridge.

Returning to the bedroom, Boss Gu pointedly put some porridge in his mouth and approached the bed where Yeonjo was lying down. Realizing that he was about to force-feed him again as before, Yeonjo shook his head in alarm.

“N, no. What are you doing again?”

Even though Yeonjo refused, Boss Gu grabbed his face and tried to kiss him. Yeonjo, who had painfully learned that he couldn’t push him away physically, quickly surrendered.

“Move. I’ll eat. I’ll eat it myself, so give me the porridge…”

At his obedient reply, Boss Gu swallowed the porridge in his mouth and handed the bowl and spoon to Yeonjo. As if he really hated being fed mouth-to-mouth, Yeonjo slowly began to eat the porridge.

Boss Gu pulled a chair over to the side of the bed, sat down crookedly, and watched Yeonjo eat. His piercing gaze made Yeonjo’s stomach churn.

Yeonjo, stopping mid-bite of the lukewarm porridge, expressed his annoyance.

“…Why do you keep staring?”

“Can’t I watch?”

“I don’t like it. I feel like I’m going to get indigestion.”

“Bear with it.”

Boss Gu confidently forced him to endure the indigestion.

“I’ll eat it myself, so stop staring. It’s not like you’re guarding me.”

“If I don’t watch, you might secretly spit it out.”

“…….”

“Just eat.”

Since the conversation seemed unlikely to go anywhere, Yeonjo concentrated on emptying the bowl of porridge as if he were being chased. The phone rang several times, but Boss Gu sat still as if he couldn’t hear it. He watched Yeonjo’s lips and throat intently as if he were going to try to hide the porridge somehow, not taking his eyes off him until he finished eating.

Only the sound of cutlery clinking echoed faintly in the room. Yeonjo glanced at him and diligently ate his porridge. He looked like a typical thug, sitting askew with one leg crossed over the other, his lips bruised and red from being chewed up.

Disheveled hair, a tight-fitting shirt and black jacket, black gloves, and dark brown eyes, almost black. He had a wild, raw aura about him, reminiscent of a black panther.

Fortunately, this time he managed to finish almost an entire bowl of porridge without retching.

“I’ll be back soon, so don’t try anything funny.”

After confirming with his own eyes that Yeonjo had finished eating, Boss Gu finally took out his phone. As soon as he left the officetel with a brief warning, Yeonjo got up to drink water.

He felt nauseous from eating too much at once. It wasn’t to the point of vomiting, but even if he did, he wanted to hold it back as much as possible. If he threw up, Boss Gu would force-feed him again.

Yeonjo went to the kitchen, feeling thirsty, and looked for water. He saw a glass next to the sink and picked it up without thinking. Without a second thought, he took out the glass and was about to pour water into it, but he dropped the heavy glass, perhaps because he had no strength in his hands.

“Ah!”

Clang! The sharp sound of shattering glass spread throughout the living room. The glass and cup both fell next to his feet, and cold water spilled over his instep.

Instinctively backing away, Yeonjo realized a beat too late that broken glass fragments were scattered across the floor.

Sharp shards pierced his soles. Startled, he stamped his feet a few times, only worsening the situation as the glass embedded itself deeper.

In just a few seconds, the surroundings became a mess. Feeling dizzy, Yeonjo sighed. A deep fatigue washed over him before the pain. He was annoyed at his foolish mistake.

Carefully stepping out of the kitchen, lifting his heels, Yeonjo contemplated how to clean up the chaotic floor. As he stood there for a moment in the living room, the front door opened, and Boss Gu entered.

“Fuck, what other damn thing did you do.”

He muttered fiercely as soon as he saw Yeonjo and strode towards him. Yeonjo then followed Boss Gu’s gaze and looked down at his own feet. Blood was flowing from his glass-ridden feet, staining the living room floor.

“I told you to stay put and not cause trouble.”

“I was trying to get some water… I dropped the cup.”

Yeonjo added defensively, worried that he might think he did it on purpose. But he ignored Yeonjo’s words, scooped him up, slung him over his shoulder, and carried him to the sofa.

“I’m telling you I didn’t do it on purpose!”

“…….”

“Put me down! It was an accident. Why are you doing this?”

“Just shut up, I get it. Do you want to leave those holes in your feet as they are?”

He sat Yeonjo down on the sofa and brought a first-aid kit. A fairly large piece of glass seemed to be embedded, so when he tried to pull it out with his hand after applying antiseptic, a frightened Yeonjo struggled.

“I, it’s okay. I’ll do it.”

“Stay still.”

Seeing the blood dripping from his soles intensified his fear. The pain, which had felt dull until now, gradually became vivid. It stung, and his whole foot throbbed. But to have a hulking man like Boss Gu come at him, trying to pull out the glass with his hand, was even more alarming.

“You’re going to hurt me! I can do it, if you give me tweezers…!”

He grabbed Yeonjo, who was trying to crawl away, and trapped him between his legs. And then, pouring more antiseptic onto the wound, he pulled out the thick glass embedded in his skin.

“Aaargh!”

Yeonjo screamed, squeezing his eyes shut. However, unlike his expectation that the glass was embedded so deep that he might need to go to the hospital, the wound wasn’t deep, and it only stung a little. It came out so easily that he felt embarrassed for screaming.

“See, it only takes five minutes.”

Boss Gu clicked his tongue, holding Yeonjo firmly to prevent him from resisting.

“…….”

Yeonjo felt a strange sense of déjà vu from his words. Both this situation and what he said seemed familiar.

He naturally recalled the days when he used to catch that child and brush his teeth. The days when he held the small child, who whined in protest, coaxing, soothing, and scolding him, saying it would be over soon.

Yeonjo, cautiously observing, wiggled his feet out of Boss Gu’s grasp. He was frowning, seemingly annoyed by Yeonjo making things difficult. If he grabbed his feet and held them tightly, the wounds would worsen, but if he let him escape, the wounds wouldn’t heal properly either.

Determined to treat him, even by force, Boss Gu grabbed Yeonjo’s thin ankles with one hand again. And he started pulling out the remaining glass shards with tweezers.

As Yeonjo winced and twisted his foot, apparently feeling the sting, he clicked his tongue.

“So troublesome.”

“…Ha.”

Yeonjo let out a hollow laugh, dumbfounded by his words. Boss Gu stopped pulling out the glass and looked up as if asking why he was laughing.

“Do you understand how I feel now?”

“What feeling.”

Boss Gu, pulling out a large shard, tightened his grip on Yeonjo’s ankle and spoke.

“I spent years running around brushing your teeth, and you’re frowning because you were inconvenienced just once? Is that what you want to say?”

“…….”

Yeonjo didn’t expect Boss Gu to be recalling the same moments as him. Moreover, when he recited the very words Yeonjo wanted to say, he was speechless and his eyes widened.

“So. Are you going to take revenge? By continuing to act like this?”

As if frustrated by the lack of an answer, Boss Gu pressed him in a lowered voice.

He was bewildered as to why the conversation was going this way. He had never said he would take revenge, but he was being accused and scolded.

“Answer me, Cha Yeonjo.”

“What…”

“Are you going to keep making me feel like shit like this?”

“…Why do you feel like shit? It’s my loss if I don’t get treated and stay in pain.”

As he retorted, unable to back down, Boss Gu’s expression grew colder.

“Then why did you feel like shit?”

“…….”

“It was me whose teeth were rotting and hurting because I didn’t brush them. I should be the one feeling like shit.”

At his words, bringing up the past, Yeonjo chewed on his lower lip. The scene from that time was quite vividly depicted in his mind.

In the orphanage, Yeonjo was the only one who grabbed that child, who was running away saying he didn’t want to, brushed his teeth, changed his worn clothes, and changed his diapers. Why did he do that?

“That’s because…”

Because he cared for him. The rest of the words, which hovered on the tip of his tongue, tickling his mouth, remained unspoken. Yeonjo lowered his defiantly raised eyes and turned his head away.

Meanwhile, Boss Gu, having finished bandaging his feet, released Yeonjo’s ankles. Despite his bravado, claiming it would hurt, the treatment process was almost painless.

As Yeonjo awkwardly fiddled with his feet, Boss Gu’s subordinate knocked on the front door. “Boss, we need to leave.” The subordinate’s polite voice drifted in from the hallway.

“I’ll be gone for a few days, so wait here quietly until I return.”

Boss Gu, rising from his seat, spoke to Yeonjo, who was looking elsewhere.

“You know my temper, so don’t provoke me any further.”

🚬

As he often did, Boss Gu was away for a few days.

Yeonjo was confined and couldn’t step foot outside the officetel. In fact, he now had neither the will nor the energy to leave. His mind, which had been tangled in knots since meeting Boss Gu, was now empty, devoid of any thoughts.

Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, his chest felt tight and constricted, to the point where even spacing out felt burdensome.

Twice a day, a stranger visited the officetel to prepare meals and check on the wounds on his feet, but Yeonjo consistently ignored him as if he were neither seen nor heard. Even when the meals were brought to his bedroom, Yeonjo refused to touch them, and the hired help, unable to persuade him even after hours, would eventually leave.

So he thought that Boss Gu would come straight to the bedroom upon his return and lash out at him in frustration. However, his reaction was calmer than expected.

Even though Yeonjo heard him enter, he pretended to be asleep with his eyes closed. The hired help seemed to be present as well, as he heard an awkward greeting, “You’re back?”

“The food.”

“He said he didn’t have the energy to eat and barely touched it.”

“…….”

“I urged him to eat even if he had to force himself, but he wouldn’t get out of bed…”

Silence followed for a few minutes after those words.

As the room became quiet, a deeper drowsiness washed over Yeonjo. As his consciousness blurred and he was about to drift off to sleep, Boss Gu quietly commanded,

“Come out.”

Pretending not to hear, Yeonjo kept his eyes closed and tried to sleep, but the rustling sound that followed grated on his nerves.

“It would be best to crawl out before I burn this.”

A monotone threat. He could have ignored it, but strangely, his eyes flew open. Driven by a sense of foreboding, as if by instinct, Yeonjo got out of bed and carefully placed his feet on the floor. The wounds from the glass shards still stung, but he could walk.

Limping out to the living room, he saw Boss Gu sitting on the sofa. And in the middle of the living room was a large duffel bag. The zipper was open, allowing him to easily see the contents, and Yeonjo’s brow furrowed.

Familiar scarves and clothes. His grandmother’s belongings.

“You!”

Yeonjo quickly walked over and snatched the bag. Or rather, he tried to.

“No, you don’t.”

Boss Gu lifted the bag even faster.

“Give it back. It’s mine.”

Yeonjo reached for the bag, but Boss Gu seemed to have no intention of returning it.

His grandmother’s belongings. He hadn’t thought of them at all. After the funeral, he hadn’t had the energy to take care of anything.

“Eat first.”

His dry words infuriated Yeonjo. Threatening him with his deceased grandmother’s belongings. Even someone’s precious keepsakes were nothing more than bargaining tools to him.

“These are the last things my grandmother left me! How dare you treat them like this…!”

“These shabby things. I could burn them at any time without telling you.”

He threw the duffel bag into the corner of the living room like a piece of luggage. When Yeonjo tried to run towards it, thick arms firmly held him back.

“Returning it is my goodwill. Don’t you understand?”

His grandmother’s belongings were right in front of him, but he couldn’t reach them. The pathetic reality of not being able to break free from Boss Gu’s grip. Yeonjo glared at Boss Gu, whose face was impassive.

Just how cruel could a malicious person be?

“You heartless bastard. How can you threaten me with something like this? Are you even human?”

“Go to the dining table.”

Boss Gu easily coerced Yeonjo. He was adept at subduing people not only with physical violence but also with emotional oppression.

Yeonjo was forcibly pushed into the kitchen. The quick-witted hired help promptly set the table. In a few minutes, food appeared on the table where Yeonjo was sitting.

“Huu…”

Yeonjo picked up his spoon, trying not to cry. But despite his efforts, he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

Why was he the only one in this situation? Living in this world without any of the things easily given to others, now unable to even speak, eat, or walk as he wished. If he was so wrong as to deserve such terrible treatment, why not just kill him?

“If you spit it out, I’ll burn the bag.”

Boss Gu warned Yeonjo, who was struggling to swallow the food. He stared at Yeonjo’s tear-soaked white face for a long time with an indifferent gaze, as if devoid of any compassion.

After a long while, Yeonjo finally finished a bowl of rice. But instead of feeling energized, he felt suffocated, as if his breath was constricted. Cold sweat began to bead on his temples. His head felt heavy, and his throat was sore.

He wanted to ask for his grandmother’s belongings as promised, but only a pained groan escaped his lips.

Boss Gu, who had been watching Yeonjo as he merely moved his lips, strode over and lifted his limp body.

“Sleep.”

“…….”

Dizziness washed over him as his body was lifted into the air. While he kicked his feet a few times, signaling him to put him down, Boss Gu laid him on the bed.

🚬

Only pitch-black darkness met his eyes. He must have lost consciousness immediately after eating, as it was now night. His face and back were drenched in sweat from tossing and turning in his sleep. Thanks to finally having a proper meal, albeit forced, his body felt much lighter. The human body was truly simple. Even if his insides were rotting away, forcibly stuffing his stomach with food gave him strength.

“Grandma…”

Immediately thinking of his grandmother’s belongings, Yeonjo forgot about the wounds on his feet and jumped down to the floor. He went out to the darkened living room and blindly searched for the bag, but there was nothing left in the spot where Boss Gu had thrown it. It was definitely here.

Flustered, Yeonjo fumbled around without even thinking to turn on the lights. Desperation surged within him, as the items in that bag were the last remaining traces of his grandmother.

Looking around, Yeonjo spotted Boss Gu lying on the sofa. The orange glow of the streetlight outside cast a shadow over his face. Forgetting about finding the bag, Yeonjo stood there for a moment, staring at him.

His sleeping form, motionless with closed eyes, looked like a statue made of woven flames to worship a demon. His eyes, nose, mouth, and entire face were straight, without a single curve, breathtakingly elegant, yet ominously gloomy.

“…….”

Looking at Boss Gu, who was so serene in contrast to himself, cracks began to appear in Yeonjo’s expression. A boiling murderous intent sharpened its edge towards him.

I wish you were dead.

The anger that had been building up within him erupted like a flood. Yeonjo limped towards him. His long shadow covered Boss Gu’s face, where the streetlight flickered.

After staring at Boss Gu for a few seconds, Yeonjo reached out and grabbed his thick neck. And he squeezed with all his might.

A crunching sound.

He felt a pulse throbbing as he gripped and squeezed his neck with all his might, his teeth grinding. It felt as if he was touching the throbbing blood vessels directly.

“Ugh.”

Soon, a groan escaped Boss Gu’s lips. He slowly opened his eyes.

Since Yeonjo was blocking the light coming in from the window, Boss Gu’s face was submerged in deep shadow. Yeonjo, already accustomed to the darkness, saw clearly. His eyes, gleaming sharply as if he had never been asleep.

Even while being choked, his abyss-like eyes stared at Yeonjo without wavering.

“Ha… ha…”

Even though he wasn’t resisting, Yeonjo felt his breath catch in his throat.

“You bastard.”

“…….”

“If it weren’t for you… If it weren’t for you.”

With eyes filled with hatred, Yeonjo pressed down, trying to kill the product of his childhood mistakes. No matter how hard he pressed on his neck, putting his entire weight into it, Boss Gu remained motionless like a ghost.

“Huu, ugh.”

His hand trembled the harder he squeezed.

“Don’t… don’t look at me like that.”

Yeonjo pleaded. Yet, his pure black eyes, fixed solely on Yeonjo, showed no sign of stopping.

Blood vessels began to appear in Boss Gu’s eyes as he struggled to breathe. Seeing the whites of his eyes becoming increasingly bloodshot, Yeonjo was consumed by confusion.

Why are you just staying still? Can I really kill you? Why… why are you still looking at me like that? Just like that day. Not a single! Not a single flicker!

Tears streamed down Yeonjo’s wide-open eyes. The lukewarm liquid moistened Boss Gu’s chin.

“Gasp… ha, haaa.”

Finally, the strength slowly drained from Yeonjo’s hand. The burning murderous intent vanished like smoke.

Although Yeonjo was the one who had choked him, he felt breathless as if he were the one being choked. His chest burned and ached as if he had swallowed a fireball. The dormant chills and dizziness returned.

Yeonjo stared blankly at his own hand, which had been gripping Boss Gu’s neck.

What have I done?

“Why did you stop?”

Startled by the eerie voice, Yeonjo stumbled backward. Boss Gu rubbed his neck and sat up.

“Shouldn’t I be the one crying?”

“Ah… ah.”

He had hated him so much just moments ago, enough to want to kill him. But upon hearing his voice, the faint embers that remained were extinguished as if doused with cold water.

“You’ll definitely regret it if you don’t kill me now.”

Boss Gu said calmly. Even though Yeonjo knew it was true, he couldn’t move, frozen stiff. Tears constantly welled up, blurring his vision.

Their positions had reversed, and now Boss Gu had his back to the light coming in from the window. His large shadow enveloped Yeonjo as if swallowing him.

Yeonjo whimpered, looking at the blurry figure before him. The dim lighting, the piercing gaze, the intermittent breathing, the stale tears, the smell of faded wallpaper. It was as if he was standing in the cramped room of the orphanage.

“I wish…”

“…….”

“I wish you would kill me, baby.”