Gutter Chapter 5.1

Yeonjo stood in front of the store building with weak steps. He wondered if he was getting used to this kind of thing, as he was thankfully able to move his body barely after taking medicine and sleeping for a while.

Moreover, his face was relatively fine. Although the inside of his mouth had been cut when he was hit, making it painful to open his lips, he looked okay on the outside.

“Oh, hyung, did you get a haircut?”

The players who were gathered in front of the store, smoking, scanned Yeonjo up and down and spoke to him. It was strange for them to suddenly act like they knew him, as they hadn’t even made eye contact when they passed by before.

“Yes, hello.”

“Why did you cut it? Did Boss Gu tell you to?”

A player with bleached blonde hair interrupted and asked. Yeonjo flinched. How did he know, even though he hadn’t seen what happened in the room yesterday? Was there CCTV? He knew there were no cameras in the VIP rooms.

“Hey, I was just asking because I thought there must be a reason if you suddenly changed your style.”

“Ah.”

The blonde man noticed Yeonjo’s wary expression and patted his shoulder, laughing. His words were half true. Strictly speaking, it wasn’t that Boss Gu told him to cut his hair, but that his hair had been burned off with a cigarette, forcing him to go to the salon.

“Is your name Cha Yeonjo? How much did you get yesterday, hyung?”

“Right. I was curious too. Jihyuk said Boss Gu spread money all over the floor.”

“Wow, seriously? 50,000 won bills?”

“That’s what I heard.”

When did the rumor spread that far? Yeonjo hadn’t told anyone about what happened yesterday, so he was bewildered.

“A million won in personal tips?”

“…”

“Two million?”

Yeonjo awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. Experience taught him that staying silent was the best course of action in these situations. When the desired answer didn’t come, the gathered players continued their conversation among themselves.

“Double? No way he would have thrown around that much. Honestly.”

“Hey, that guy is famous in Gangnam. It’s common there.”

“He looked young, too. Damn, even if he’s famous.”

“They say Gu Muncheon, the right-hand man of Yongho Group’s chairman, is Boss Gu.”

“How do you know that?”

“A hyung who looked after the place I worked at before I came here told me.”

“Bullshit. You believe those rumors? Have you been in this business for a day or two?”

“It was pretty specific for a rumor, though. Well, I don’t believe everything either.”

“So, what did they say? That he throws money around?”

“That too, and… he knows everything that’s gone down in Gangnam… What else was there?”

The player scratched his forehead, trying to remember. Yeonjo debated whether he should continue standing there until their conversation ended or just ignore them and go inside.

It was awkward to just pass by them since they were blocking the entrance to the room salon. They all seemed interested in talking about Boss Gu, but Yeonjo didn’t want to know, which made him uncomfortable.

“Ah! I also heard a story about Gu Muncheon before he made it big.”

“Pwahaha! A gangster making it big? What was he doing before that?”

I should probably go in first. They didn’t seem to notice Yeonjo anymore.

“He was picked up by chance, but being a gangster was his calling. What was his name back then? Rags, I think. I remember because the name was unusual.”

Yeonjo’s steps, as he was about to circle the group of players and enter the store, stopped.

“Bullshit. His name was Rags?”

“Yeah. Everyone called him that.”

“Damn, that’s hilarious. But isn’t that a bit weak for Boss Gu’s nickname, even if it’s from the past? Viper or Devil would be more like it.”

“It definitely doesn’t suit his size. Oh, I remember something else.”

“What?”

“And he pushed out the original manager and took his place. I heard there was a lot of talk about it internally.”

“Aren’t there still a lot of people waiting for their chance?”

“Hyung, why are you standing there like that?”

One of the players who was busy gossiping about Boss Gu asked Yeonjo. He seemed puzzled that Yeonjo had stopped for so long in the middle of opening the door.

“…It’s nothing. I’ll go in first.”

“Ah, tell us how much you got in tips…”

A player expressed his disappointment as Yeonjo regained his composure and hurried into the store. No matter what they said, Yeonjo’s vision turned white because of his churning heart.

Boss Gu’s old name was Rags? Why Rags of all names? Was it a common word? He had not only heard it a few times in his life, but he had never heard of anyone being called that.

Except for that child.

“It’s absurd.”

No matter what, it was foolish to connect Boss Gu and that child. Whether he was called Rags or Yellow Dog in the past had nothing to do with him. It was just one of the many coincidences that happened in the world.

He had become overly agitated by a single word, ‘Rags,’ which he had heard through someone else’s mouth after a long time. It wasn’t that big of a deal.

Although the shock was great at the moment he heard it, when he looked closely, that child and Boss Gu didn’t even have any resemblance. He had unconsciously tried to associate such a small child with a huge, mountain-like man. He was just startled by a reflex.

Yeonjo managed to maintain his composure as he walked towards the waiting room.

His shortened hair in the mirror on the wall looked a little awkward. Still, he looked neat considering he was tormented by Boss Gu yesterday. He had taken his medicine beforehand, so he wasn’t coughing even in the stuffy air today.

“Cha Yeonjo, come here for a second.”

The owner spotted Yeonjo and suddenly called him over.

“Don’t go out for the selection today.”

“Why?”

Had another problem arisen? His eyebrows furrowed in anxiety. The owner was spitting on his hand and counting a crumpled wad of cash.

“You have reservations at 10 and 2. Both with second rounds.”

“Ah…”

“You’re frail, so don’t wander around and just rest at the dorm, then come back at 10. Stay in the waiting room or something.”

“Yes.”

Yeonjo relaxed his stiff expression and nodded. He had been worried about what to do if he was told to move stores again. It wasn’t the worst situation he had feared.

“But… how are you feeling? Three people in a day would be difficult, wouldn’t it?”

Yeonjo, who was heading for the exit, paused at the owner’s question.

It was good that there were customers so he could pay off his debt, but three people in one day was too much, no matter how he thought about it. Even if he had the stamina, he was overworked yesterday and his health wasn’t good to begin with, so he couldn’t bring himself to say he was okay.

“Forget it, forget it. Go.”

The owner cut him off before Yeonjo could answer, having sensed his reluctance.

The shell is the real deal, but the inside is weak. The owner’s complaint faintly reached Yeonjo’s ears. Yeonjo pretended not to hear and went out to the parking lot. The group that had been smoking in front of the door was gone.

“Didn’t you just go in? Why are you coming out again?”

The driver, who recognized Yeonjo’s face, looked at him curiously as he got into the van to go to the dorm.

“The owner told me to come back at 10.”

“Oh, he’s making you work twice, how bothersome.”

He glanced at Yeonjo through the rearview mirror, his eyes buried in thick flesh. Yeonjo ignored the unpleasant gaze that scanned him and sat in the back seat.

“I’ll leave when the other guys gather, so wait a bit.”

“Yes.”

“…”

“…”

Silence fell in the car for a moment. Should I just go to the dorm alone? Yeonjo considered it, uncomfortable with the gaze that kept landing on his face. However, he wasn’t familiar with the transportation yet, so he didn’t know how to get back to the dorm.

Moreover, the employees in debt had to get permission every time they moved around, which was bothersome. Yeonjo decided to take the van, even if it was a bit uncomfortable, because he didn’t want to go through the hassle.

“No, wait. I’ll take you now.”

The driver, who suddenly changed his mind, started the engine. The old and noisy engine roared through the car body.

“Thank you.”

Yeonjo fixed his gaze out the window, where the store signs were spread out in a complex array.

“You’re pretty damn handsome for a guy. How much do you charge per hour?”

“…”

I knew it was unsettling. As Yeonjo expected, the driver showed interest in that direction.

Even though gangsters managed it, at Phoenix, at least the guards or drivers didn’t hit on the employees who worked at the store. He had already witnessed several times here the guards pawing at the women and fooling around. It seemed like there were no such rules here.

“I have high standards, so I’ve never been attracted to a man, but when you think about it, a hole is a hole. And since a man can’t get pregnant, it’s okay to cum inside, right?”

Yeonjo remained silent, but the driver kept talking. Despite driving in the middle of the road, his eyes were busy scanning Yeonjo’s pale face.

Next time this happens, I should just kill time in the waiting room. He wished he could get to the dorm quickly, but time seemed to be passing slowly today, as if the driver was intentionally taking a detour.

“You know, what’s that thing… Did you get Botox or fillers in your lips? They’re plumper than most girls’.”

Despite his silence, the driver’s harassment continued. Yeonjo anxiously bit his nails and swallowed a sigh.

“Hey, you should listen when someone’s talking to you. How much do you charge per hour, I asked.”

“…I have reservations all day today.”

“Huh, damn it.”

“…”

The driver, who had stopped at a traffic light, fiddled with the steering wheel distractedly.

Receiving this kind of attention was familiar to Yeonjo, so he could fully anticipate what would happen if the driver’s impulses intensified. He just hoped the man wouldn’t act out.

“Even if you can’t take it from behind, you’re okay with your mouth, right?”

The driver’s breathing grew rough, as if he was having some lewd thoughts.

Screech!

He suddenly pulled the car over to the side of the road. It was early evening, so it was still bright outside and quite a few cars were passing by, but they were alone inside the van. Moreover, the tinted windows made it feel even more isolated.

“Damn, not even with your mouth?”

The driver yelled in frustration when he didn’t get a reply. Even if Yeonjo refused, it seemed like he would force him anyway.

At Majang, most of the customers had social standing, so there were no cases where Yeonjo was completely forced into sexual acts. But this place was a lawless zone run by gangsters who had no minimum honor or morals. If he refused, a hand would fly out to subdue him with force, and his sexual desires would be fulfilled by force. Just like Boss Gu had done.

Yeonjo had no choice but to nod. It was better in many ways to come out voluntarily rather than be raped.

As soon as Yeonjo agreed, the driver hurriedly came and sat in the back seat where Yeonjo was. He locked the door, took deep breaths, and took off his pants.

“Suck it well now.”

He spread his legs wide and beckoned with an expectant look. Yeonjo got off the seat and knelt between the driver’s legs.

It wasn’t fully erect yet, but his wasn’t monstrously large like Boss Gu’s. In fact, even when fully erect, it seemed to be below average. He supposed it was fortunate that it wouldn’t be shoved roughly down his throat.

“Huh, ha.”

The driver’s outer clothes smelled of stale alcohol and cigarettes. It was as unpleasant a smell as his appearance. As Yeonjo took the soft penis in his hand and played with it, the driver roughly grabbed Yeonjo’s chin and examined it.

“Pretty.”

Then he rubbed his penis against Yeonjo’s smooth face. He tapped the light beige cheeks, the straight nose, and the slender chin with the blunt tip of his increasingly hardening penis. Then, he pressed his penis against Yeonjo’s slightly parted, plump lips.

“What. You weren’t wearing lipstick?”

The driver, who was observing Yeonjo’s face with sticky eyes, rubbed his glans against Yeonjo’s reddish lips. A wet sound naturally came out as saliva got on it.

“Answer me properly. Do you play hard to get with your customers like this too?”

“…I didn’t put on anything.”

“Ha. If your hair was just a little longer, I would believe you if you said you were a girl working in Gangnam.”

As the driver grabbed Yeonjo’s hair to start the blowjob in earnest, Yeonjo looked up at him with his head slightly tilted back.

“Pay me first.”

“…You’re picky. I’ll let it slide because you’re pretty.”

The driver took cash out of his back pocket and tucked it between his hairy groin. And he grinned as if telling Yeonjo to take it.

“This should be enough for one blowjob.”

He seemed to have tried his best to humiliate Yeonjo, but Yeonjo wasn’t affected at all. Yeonjo buried his face in the driver’s groin and pulled out the bills with his lips.

“It’s enough.”

“Huh, this damn… vixen.”

He glared at Yeonjo, panting, then grabbed his fully erect penis again and rubbed it on Yeonjo’s nose and philtrum. Yeonjo obediently stuck his tongue out and licked the glans as the driver moved it around. Then, he sucked on the inner thigh with his lips, and loud moans poured from above, “Huh, kuhuk! Hut!”

“Suck here too.”

He lifted his penis and showed his testicles. Yeonjo lowered his head further and, as the driver requested, spread his tongue wide and licked the testicles. Then, he put them in his mouth and rolled them gently. He nibbled on them with his teeth and let go repeatedly, making the driver’s large body flinch.

“You, you little… Do you have suction cups on your lips or something? Kuhuk, so this is why, hut, people can’t stop themselves once they fall for male prostitutes.”

Instead of responding to the uncomfortable compliment, Yeonjo began to swallow the penis in earnest. As expected, even fully erect, its small size made the process of swallowing it to the root easy. As he pursed his lips tightly and moved his head up and down, sucking on the entire shaft, the driver’s grip tightened on Yeonjo’s hair.

“Heu, keuheuheuk! Huk.”

The driver quickly felt the urge to cum from the tightness of Yeonjo’s warm and wet mouth. After a few minutes, he pushed Yeonjo’s face, which was still holding his penis in its mouth.

“Face.”

As instructed, Yeonjo pulled the shaft out of his mouth and closed his eyes. He heard a rubbing sound, as if the driver was masturbating, and a moment later, a lukewarm, thin liquid sprayed onto his face.

“Huk, huk, huk…”

He spread the semen he’d ejaculated onto Yeonjo’s face with his limp penis as he caught his breath. It took him less than three minutes to take off his pants and cum. As if regretting the money, the driver made an excuse with a dissatisfied expression.

“I don’t usually cum this fast. Damn, is it because your lips are so thick or because you’re a man? Your sucking power is no joke.”

After squeezing the last drop clinging to his glans onto Yeonjo’s philtrum, he abruptly pushed Yeonjo’s shoulder roughly.

“Hey, this won’t do. Take some clothes off, let me cum inside you. I can’t hold it.”

“I can’t do that.”

He tried to rip Yeonjo’s shirt off without even bothering to adjust his dangling penis. When Yeonjo pulled his body back and refused, the driver became more violent.

“What do you mean you can’t? You’re a male prostitute who spreads his legs for anyone as long as they pay you.”

“L-Let go of this. I said no!”

“You damn… There are so many marks on your body from being fucked…”

Gnashing his teeth, the driver pulled Yeonjo’s clothes as if he was going to tear them. Then he lifted Yeonjo’s lithe body, forced him onto the seat, and climbed on top of him.

“Let go! Damn it, let me go!”

“What are you going to do if I don’t?”

Yeonjo’s hands trembled slightly with fear. Although the difference in grip strength wasn’t overwhelming, the driver was larger than Yeonjo and weighed more due to his bulk. He would have to fight with all his might to push him off and escape the van.

But what after that? As long as he worked here, he might have to keep seeing the driver. Even if he resisted in the cramped space, his body would be bruised all over again. Then he wouldn’t be able to go to work, so he’d be fined again. Even though the surgery was over, his grandmother’s hospital bills were still piling up… Resisting to the end would be a loss for him no matter how he looked at it.

Should I just do it once and be done with it? It’s not like it’s the first time anyway. As the driver said, wasn’t he someone who gave in to beastly men like Boss Gu for money?

No matter how much he tried to convince himself, he absolutely didn’t want to do it with the driver. He just wanted to run away from this place right now.

“Oh, hello. Why are you calling when I’m so busy!”

At that moment, the driver received a phone call. Yeonjo, who had been watching the driver answer the call with an irritated voice, impulsively shoved him with all his might.

“This damn it! That damn bastard! Hey!”

Taking advantage of the moment the driver rolled under the seat, Yeonjo opened the van door and ran outside without looking back.

“This male prostitute bastard, I was being nice to you! Get back here!”

The driver followed him out belatedly, but his heavy body couldn’t catch up to Yeonjo. Yeonjo didn’t look back, even at the driver’s threat to kill him if he caught him later.

He didn’t know how he made it back to the dorm. Entering his room, Yeonjo locked the door and lay down on the bed. His body finally started trembling as he pulled the blanket over his head.

All sorts of worries began to invade his mind, which had been blank. What if the driver came after him? He could be harmed when Yeonjo went to work tonight. Then who should he ask for help? Should he have just been obedient? He should have stayed in the waiting room instead of leaving the store…

His shoulder, where he had been hit by the driver, throbbed. Yeonjo took a pain relief patch from the drawer next to his bed and put it on the sore area. The burning pain subsided, but rage welled up inside him.

Why did everyone treat him so carelessly? He had said no. He had wanted to get through it as amicably as possible, but why did they always resort to violence? Was he someone who deserved this treatment?

He had never been rude to anyone first in his life. Even when faced with unfair treatment, he mostly let it go without arguing or getting angry. His grandmother had said that was the wise way.

When young Yeonjo came home after being beaten up outside, his grandmother advised him to avoid such situations wisely. While feeling heartbroken and helpless for her suffering grandson, there was nothing an old and poor grandmother could do to retaliate. So Yeonjo knew that ignoring it was the only solution the two of them could come up with.

As his grandmother had said, Yeonjo looked the other way when someone got angry, remained silent when cursed at, and ran away when hit.

Even though he knew there was no other way for someone without power, money, or ability, he was still human, and there were times when he couldn’t control his anger like this.

How could he avoid those who thought it was okay to hit or rape someone as long as they paid? Did he just have to endure it? What would happen if he didn’t want to endure it? What if he refused? Wasn’t he allowed to be angry either?

“Ha…”

Yeonjo painstakingly erased the unresolved questions swirling in his head one by one. Even though he tried to suppress his anger and ignore his sadness as usual, it wasn’t working today.

Once he was caught in these thoughts, an uncontrollable despair choked Yeonjo. And the harsh reality, like a dense thorn bush, scratched at his impoverished soul.

My life is so miserable.

Yeonjo curled up on the narrow bed and somehow managed his emotions. This was all he could do. To calmly control his mind. As if nothing had happened.

Then, his crumbling heart would mend little by little. Just like Rags.

It would be the same this time as well. If he closed his eyes, suppressed his emotions, and then got up, he would be able to act as if nothing had happened, as usual.

“…”

After a few minutes of lying still as if dead, the trembling stopped. The fear and injustice faded, and drowsiness washed over him. Perhaps because he hadn’t slept enough yesterday, his eyelids felt heavy.

If he rested for a bit and got up, he might feel unexpectedly okay. It wouldn’t be as bad as he thought.

Consoling himself, Yeonjo tried to sleep.

🚬

That child was strangely calm compared to his peers. No one at the orphanage had ever seen him get angry or yell.

Yeonjo, like everyone else, had never witnessed the child being emotionally shaken. It was a strange thing. Even though he hadn’t directly seen how Rags lived within his peer group, he could easily deduce how he was treated from various circumstances.

The child’s clothes smelled of dirty mop water when he returned from outside, and there were stains on his clothes as if someone had spilled food on him. His knees were perpetually scraped from falling on the asphalt, and the few pencils and erasers in his pencil case were all broken. As if someone had intentionally destroyed them.

Yet, Rags never mentioned the bullying he received from his peers. He always dealt with injustice and violence with silence.

He didn’t respond even when the children he lived with at the orphanage and Director Park tormented him, calling him a stuttering idiot. Sometimes, he seemed like a child who didn’t even know the emotion of anger.

The first and last time Yeonjo saw Rags angry was when Yeonjo was 16.

It was an autumn day with a sky so blue it made his heart soar. As Yeonjo walked towards the orphanage after school, someone called out to him from behind.

“Are you Cha Yeonjo?”

Hostility was laced in those first words. Yeonjo turned around with a sense of foreboding. He saw three students in the same uniform standing with their legs crossed. Checking their uniforms, he recognized them as seniors from the neighboring high school.

“Yes, I am.”

“So, you’re the one who seduced our Jisu?”

“…”

“And you even dumped her after seducing her when she confessed. Are you crazy?”

The senior standing in the middle, mentioning a girl whose name Yeonjo didn’t even know, poked Yeonjo’s chest. From what he was saying, the girl he liked had confessed to Yeonjo. But Yeonjo couldn’t remember the faces and names of everyone who confessed to him. He had never seduced anyone, so he couldn’t understand why the senior was so angry.

“I don’t know who Jisu is, and I’ve never seduced her.”

“Hahaha! Wow, what bullshit? Look at this bastard pretending he doesn’t know.”

“I’m not pretending, I really don’t know.”

“Says he doesn’t know?”

“How dare you look at a senior like that. Do I look easy to you, you fucker? Huh? Look down.”

“…Please don’t hit me.”

“What did you say? Look at this bastard’s tone.”

“Don’t hit me! His way of talking is so cringy, too.”

The seniors, who were approaching Yeonjo menacingly, pressed their fingers hard against Yeonjo’s head. Infuriated by Yeonjo’s blatant denial even when he should have been apologizing profusely, one of the students threw his bag on the ground.

Other students passing by started to gather around, asking what was going on.

“Do you think you’re all that just because you look pretty? You don’t even recognize your seniors and you act so cocky.”

He shoved Yeonjo hard in the chest. Yeonjo stumbled backward and fell ungracefully to the ground.

As people’s gazes focused on them, the senior and his friends kicked the fallen Yeonjo as if demonstrating their power.

“Ugh!”

The air was knocked out of him as he was kicked directly in the stomach. He looked around, hoping someone would intervene, but the students and adults just watched, no one stepped forward.

“I really… I don’t know who that person is.”

“You’re an orphan, right?”

“…”

“Did your parents abandon you at the orphanage because you seduce girls with boyfriends? Damn, is that how you live so wretchedly because you have no home education?”

Bastards like you need to be beaten to learn your lesson. Muttering that, the senior started kicking Yeonjo, who was sprawled on the ground. The pain felt like his body was being crushed, his vision blurred, and he felt nauseous.

Even though Yeonjo pleaded for them to stop, not one of the onlookers stepped forward to stop the students who were hitting him. Their gazes, filled with pity and curiosity, pierced Yeonjo as painfully as the violence.

Ashamed of being a spectacle, Yeonjo couldn’t bring himself to raise his voice and fight back. He felt infinitely small in front of their discriminatory gazes. So he just took the beating without resistance. That felt less shameful. The right to fight back hadn’t been given to him in the first place.

“What’s this. He’s such a weakling.”

“Why’d you act so cocky, huh?”

“You don’t know your place.”

“Heu… ugh.”

They crouched in front of Yeonjo and tapped his cheeks with their fists. Every breath he took felt like his muscles were being torn apart. Yeonjo clutched his stomach and sobbed.

“Y-Yeonjo hyung!”

Then, he heard a familiar voice in the distance. Yeonjo barely managed to turn his head, which had been hanging low. He saw the child running towards him from the end of the alley, tears in his eyes.

As soon as he saw Rags’ face, he wanted to yell at him to go away, but only moans escaped his throat.

“Who’s this now?”

The child ran to where Yeonjo had collapsed without stopping. Not caring about the chilling atmosphere.

As if he wasn’t afraid of the gazes of the people and the men who were much larger than him, the child picked up a stone from the ground and threw it at the seniors.

“D-D-Don’t, don’t h-h-hit Yeonjo h-hyung!”

Was it a concussion? It was difficult to keep his head straight. Whenever he tried to lift himself up slightly, his vision spun. He wanted to tell Rags to just go because he would only be in danger if he got involved, but no words came out.

The thin body standing in front of Yeonjo trembled pitifully. The child glared at the seniors with wide, furious eyes.

He must have been waiting at the entrance of the orphanage for Yeonjo to come home from school, and when he didn’t come after a long time, he must have come all the way here. But the difference in size between Rags and the seniors was too great for Rags to confront them. The child, smaller and thinner than his peers, wasn’t someone who could do anything against them.

“Where did this one come from? Do you two know each other?”

“G-G-Go a-away! D-Don’t do b-b-bad th-things to Y-Yeonjo h-hyung!”

Perhaps out of fear, the child stuttered more severely than usual. The seniors, noticing the difference in Rags’ speech, burst out laughing.

“What’s he saying? Speak clearly. Are you an orphan too?”

“He can’t even speak properly, what a sight. Hahahaha!”

“Hey, Cha Yeonjo. Is he your little brother? Is your little brother a stutterer?”

The senior asked, nudging Yeonjo’s hand with the tip of his shoe. At that, the eyes of Rags, who was standing protectively in front of Yeonjo, flashed with murderous intent. Rags lunged at the student who had touched Yeonjo with his foot and bit his finger hard.

Yeonjo clearly heard the crunching sound of something being bitten.

“Aaagh! Son of a bitch!”

The student whose finger had been bitten screamed and thrashed around. Yeonjo, who was worried that Rags’ actions would only provoke the seniors further, saw something fall in front of him.

“Ugh! Crazy, w-what is this!”

It was a piece of flesh from the senior’s finger that Rags had bitten off. Yeonjo’s face was filled with horror as he saw the skin, covered in sticky blood, rolling around in front of him.

“This fucking little shit!”

“D-Don’t k-kick Y-Yeonjo h-hyung’s f-feet! It h-hurts!”

The child shouted even as he saw the senior, eyes rolled back, charging at them. Then, indiscriminate violence rained down on Yeonjo and Rags.

The child stretched his body as much as possible, covering Yeonjo’s body, blocking the kicks and punches. Since he was so small, it didn’t help with the defense at all, but for some reason, that moment remained etched in Yeonjo’s memory. It was the first time he had seen the child so angry.

It seems like the adults finally stepped in and stopped the seniors then. And what happened after that? The rest of his memory was jumbled. The scenes were all hazy.

Only the child’s screams, burning with rage, as he hurled every bad word he knew at the seniors, remained vividly etched in his mind.

The child was the only one who was enraged by the violence inflicted on Yeonjo. Even though he was so badly injured that he couldn’t move for days, Rags cried as if the world had ended when he saw Yeonjo’s bruised face back at the orphanage.

“I-It hurts so m-much when hyung h-hurts…”

Yeonjo wanted to yell at the child to look at his own state. Why had he recklessly rushed in like that in that situation? If he had just ignored it like everyone else, he wouldn’t have been so injured. New, dark, large wounds appeared on the child’s body, which was already covered in bruises.

He wanted to apply some medicine, but Yeonjo couldn’t bear the overwhelming fatigue. So he drifted into unconsciousness, lulled by the child’s cries.

When he opened his eyes again, it was the middle of the night. The orphanage was as silent as a tomb, as if everyone was asleep. It was a night where the pale moonlight shone mysteriously through the window into the dark room.

Yeonjo slowly blinked his eyes. The air in the room was cold, but his body was hot with fever. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he began to see the surrounding objects quite clearly.

Several layers of blankets covering his body, the small desk he always saw, the hard wooden chair, the tilted wardrobe, the yellowed wallpaper.

A glass of water was placed by his head. In addition, there were various other things scattered around that he hadn’t seen before, so Yeonjo reached out and checked them one by one.

Fever reducer, ointment, cheap chocolate distributed on the street, a clumsy plastic robot popular among young children, and fresh wildflowers picked from the roadside.

He knew at once, without anyone having to explain, that Rags had brought them. He must have gathered the best of what he had.

“…”

The comfort the child offered was always this simple and sincere. The corners of Yeonjo’s drooping lips curled up slightly. The child’s body must have been aching too, when did he bring all this?

Yeonjo fiddled with the wildflowers the child had given him for a moment and then lay back down. He was still drowsy, as if his body hadn’t fully recovered yet.

He had been beaten up by seniors he didn’t even know in front of everyone, but he didn’t feel as miserable as he had expected. Rather, he felt a little proud. It was strange.

He liked the things the child had given him, but the child’s anger that he had seen that day lingered in his heart the longest. Ironically, Rags was the first person other than himself who had stood up against the injustice he had suffered.

Although the child was inarticulate and much weaker than him, at that moment, he seemed stronger than anything in the world.

Yeonjo stared blankly at the fresh wildflowers he held in his hand. A strange feeling, a pang in his chest, overwhelmed him. As he closed his eyes slowly, inhaling the lingering scent, Yeonjo belatedly realized that all of this was a dream. The pale moonlight, the throbbing pain, the small, cold room, the wildflowers the child had left him, all… They were just a corner of a very old memory that no longer existed. As soon as he realized this, Yeonjo didn’t want to wake up from this dream, ever.

It might be hard to believe, but I don’t regret meeting you. Not even once. Even now, after so much time has passed since I lost you.

Of course, you wouldn’t feel the same. I know you’d find me disgusting and creepy if you knew this side of me.

Still, maybe, I’m holding on day by day because of the memory of you.

That’s why I find myself so repulsive.

🚬

The dorm was noisy with employees preparing for work. Yeonjo naturally opened his eyes to the noise coming from the living room. Checking the time, it was 9 PM. The owner had told him to come to work by 10, so he had to hurry and leave for the store.

As he sat up and tidied his bedding, Yeonjo recalled what had happened in the afternoon. He had been nervous that the driver might come back, but there was a new person behind the wheel of the van. Yeonjo secretly felt a deep sense of relief.

Swallowing a sigh, Yeonjo adjusted his clothes. Even after sleeping, his body felt heavy and tired. It was partly due to that driver, but on days when that child appeared in his dreams, he was especially emotionally drained.

It wasn’t a dream he usually had, but it had become more frequent recently. Was it because he had heard that Boss Gu’s old name was Rags? Maybe he had been subconsciously thinking about it.

Logically, there was no way Boss Gu was that child. Rags was very short and stuttered severely. Just by appearance alone, wasn’t he the complete opposite of Boss Gu?

According to the players, Boss Gu’s name was Gu Muncheon. Rags didn’t even have a name, so he couldn’t possibly be the same person as Boss Gu, who had a proper name.

Moreover, the firefighters and residents said they hadn’t seen any children coming out of the building on the day of the fire. Even if the child had escaped the flames, he would have severe burns on his body.

“…Burns.”

A crack appeared in Yeonjo’s expressionless face as he went down to the parking lot. At the same time, the burns he had seen on Boss Gu at Phoenix flashed before his eyes like an afterimage. The bumpy skin that even a large dragon tattoo couldn’t completely cover.

No way. That can’t be.

Yeonjo muttered softly. He sensed the employee next to him looking at him after hearing him talk to himself, but Yeonjo’s attention was completely focused on the burns he had seen on Boss Gu’s back. And he desperately began to search for differences between that child and Boss Gu.

It must be a coincidence. How old was he? If Rags was alive, he would be 25 years old. What about Boss Gu? He seemed to have heard somewhere that he was younger than he looked. But this was not accurate information.

Even if that child was alive… the probability of meeting him in life was extremely low. Besides, if Boss Gu was that child, he would have recognized him, so why hadn’t he said anything? Why had he paid to sleep with him?

Yeonjo denied the worst-case scenario while ignoring the anxiety that was constantly gripping his chest.

But that sticky, immeasurable gaze of disgust, and the strange sense of déjà vu he felt from it… The hate-filled gaze directed at him, the thorny tone…

“…No.”

Think rationally, Cha Yeonjo. He isn’t Rags. Rags died in that single room 14 years ago. Such a small and frail child couldn’t have escaped. Boss Gu just happened to pay for him, that was all.

No matter how much he denied it, his hands and feet trembled uncontrollably. Even when he clenched his fists tightly, the trembling wouldn’t stop.

The past days when he had masturbated, played with himself, and sucked Boss Gu’s penis in front of him flashed painfully in his mind. This was absurd. The assumption that the two might be the same person was merely a delusion he had created, fixated on the single word ‘Rags.’

It was just a delusion, it had to be, so why was he so shaken?

“What are you doing? We’re here, get off.”

Someone nudged Yeonjo from the side, as if the car had arrived in front of the store without him realizing it. Yeonjo, finally coming to his senses, dazedly got out of the van. His heart pounded so wildly that he could hardly breathe. Moreover, his vision spun, and he felt dizzy.

“Hyung, are you going to work now? Didn’t you come to work earlier?”

The player with bleached blonde hair whom he’d seen in the afternoon was smoking at the entrance of the store again. Yeonjo wiped the cold sweat from his forehead and approached him.

“Um, about that person called Boss Gu. Do you happen to know how old he is?”

“Boss Gu’s age? Hmm. I don’t know about that…”

The blonde man took a drag of his cigarette and rolled his eyes. Then he stared at Yeonjo, whose face was pale, with a puzzled look.

“Then, do you know if he has any burns on his body?”

“Ah. Well, on his back, was it? A really big burn?”

Yeonjo nodded excessively. As if possessed. The blonde man flinched back a step at his distraught appearance, as if he had lost his mind.

“Yes. Have you ever heard when he got it or how he got it?”

“I don’t know the details, so it’s hard to say… I heard he had that scar before he became a manager.”

“…”

“But are you okay, hyung? Your expression has been really stiff since earlier.”

“Ah, I’m… okay.”

“It’s nothing much, but… Don’t tell Boss Gu that I told you this. Okay? It’ll be troublesome if it gets twisted later.”

After hearing that Boss Gu had burns on his back from a long time ago, Yeonjo couldn’t hear anything else. The blonde man kept talking to him, but even standing upright was a struggle for Yeonjo.

“Cha Yeonjo! Didn’t he come to work? He has to go in soon, why isn’t he here yet?”

The owner’s voice called from inside the store. But Yeonjo stood rooted to the spot, as if nailed to the ground. His limbs trembled uncontrollably.

Come to think of it, why had Boss Gu looked at him with such a disgusted look? He was curious too. There must have been plenty of people selling their bodies for money around him, so why him? With that kind of look.

“Hey, the owner’s calling. Aren’t you going in?”

The guard, who came out in place of the owner, spotted Yeonjo standing at the entrance and tapped him on the shoulder. Yeonjo was startled as if pricked by a thorn and stumbled backward.

“What the fuck? What’s wrong with you?”

“Ah… uh…”

Yeonjo looked up at the man in front of him, his mouth opening and closing, and then he got up. And suddenly, he started running in the opposite direction of the store.

The only thought in his head was that he had to get out of this place.

“Whoa! Is he crazy? Hey, stop right there!”

The guard, who had been momentarily stunned, hurriedly started chasing after Yeonjo.

Yeonjo ran at full speed through the alley filled with flashing, colorful signs and pedestrians. He bumped shoulders with several oncoming people but didn’t stop.

“Hey, you son of a bitch! Where do you think you’re going? You’re dead if I catch you!”

Despite the ominous threats, Yeonjo ran with all his might. But soon, he had trouble breathing and collapsed on the ground.

His heart raced as if it would burst, and his lungs ached as if they would tear from overexertion. His legs were numb, and he couldn’t run any further.

“Huff, huff… Huk. Got you, you son of a bitch. Are you crazy? Suddenly running away like that.”

“Let go! Cough, cough…! Let go of me.”

The guard grabbed Yeonjo by the hair and pulled him up.

“Let go? Of what? You’re fully booked.”

“I said I’m not going! Get out of my way!”

Yeonjo shouted recklessly. But it was impossible to win against a guard who was used to catching runaway players and women. He grabbed Yeonjo’s hair roughly and dragged him towards the store. Passersby stopped, watching Yeonjo being dragged away screaming, and the guard.

“Damn it, seriously. Such a hassle. How are you going to earn any money going in looking like that?”

“Sob… Heuk…”

Yeonjo couldn’t hold back the tears of frustration welling up. He didn’t even know why he was acting like this.

Boss Gu might not be Rags. Even if he was Rags, nothing would change. He had abandoned the child and ran away alone… Whatever his identity, Yeonjo had to sell his body here to pay off his debts and earn his grandmother’s hospital bills.

But why was he so overwhelmed by uncontrollable emotions? He just wanted to disappear somewhere.

“Euhheuk… keuheok. Heup…”

Yeonjo slumped down and cried endlessly.

“Wow… Isn’t this guy completely crazy? Why are you crying when you’re the one getting hit?”

He didn’t know himself. He was so disgusted with himself that he couldn’t bear it in his right mind. Too much confusion was digging into every part of his nerves, tearing him apart.

Did Boss Gu do that to him because he recognized him? Or had he completely erased Cha Yeonjo from his memory? Did he not recognize him? How did things get to this point?

Was all of this really a coincidence? Maybe Boss Gu was just someone else, a man with similar eyes and a past like Rags. Wasn’t he? No, could that be? He didn’t know. He didn’t know anything. Why was this happening to him? That child was dead. He was in a situation where he couldn’t have escaped the building.

Yeonjo was dragged away by the guard like discarded luggage, unable to even think about wiping away the tears streaming down his face. He had no more strength to run. Even if he ran away, he had nowhere to go. He wanted to disappear from this place, but he didn’t even know where he wanted to go.

It had always been like this. Yeonjo’s life, like a can on the street, had always moved powerlessly, tossed around by others.

“W-What’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know either, and it’s driving me crazy, so don’t talk to me, damn it.”

As they entered the store, the owner looked back and forth between Yeonjo and the guard in surprise. He seemed to think the guard had harmed Yeonjo.

“What are you doing, making him like this when he has to go into a room right away?”

“No, I didn’t do anything! He suddenly went crazy, ran out, and I caught him! Ugh, that damn bastard!”

He glared at Yeonjo, then kicked him, telling him to get up. But Yeonjo couldn’t move, as if all the muscles supporting his body had melted away. His lungs still ached from running, and his legs felt like rags. Even when he tried to stop, tears kept flowing from his eyes.

“Just put him somewhere. I’ll smooth things over with the customer who made the reservation, so get him ready and send him in.”

“Damn… How can I get him ready and send him in when he’s lost his mind? What a joke.”

Employees popped up from everywhere, busy watching what was going on. Conscious of the stares, the guard dragged Yeonjo into an empty room as the owner had instructed and sighed deeply. There was no way Yeonjo could receive a customer in his current state; he was clearly not in his right mind.

He muttered curses and scratched the back of his head roughly.

“Are you on drugs?”

“…”

“Well, it’s not surprising. You have to pay off the debt hanging over your ass before you go crazy.”

When Yeonjo didn’t answer, he took out his phone and called someone.

Yeonjo sat on the musty-smelling carpet, staring blankly at the ceiling. He knew he had to go into the room right away, as the owner and the guard had said, but his body wouldn’t cooperate. It felt as if his body had become empty, devoid of any strength or will.

“Yes, Manager. Are you available for a brief call?”

Yeonjo’s eyes widened at the guard’s words.

“I’m in Seongbuk-gu. It’s about that newcomer. Cha Yeonjo, the one from Gangnam. This bastard’s out of his mind.”

The guard kicked Yeonjo’s shin as he squirmed and tried to crawl away on the floor.

“Ugh!”

“He’s completely lost it, it’s a mess. He’s in no condition to take any appointments, whether it’s a selection or a reservation.”

“…”

“No, he went crazy on his own, fell on the street, ran away… Ha. I think his face is scratched up now too. Yes, yes.”

Realizing he couldn’t escape, Yeonjo collapsed on the floor again. His shins and all the muscles he had used for running ached. His heart raced with anxiety.

What were they talking about with Boss Gu? What if he came here again? What if he had to face him? The thought alone filled him with dread.

“Right now? Where are you right now, Manager… Ah, yes. Then I’ll send this bastard over there right away. Should I send another girl with him?”

After saying, “Yes, please wait a moment,” and ending the call, the guard put his hands on his hips and sighed deeply. Then, with a frustrated look, he kicked Yeonjo in the stomach once more.

“Keuk!”

“He’s such a pain in the ass. Hey, get up.”

“Heu…”

“You need to get in the car.”

🚬

The guard tied Yeonjo’s struggling hands and feet with rope and put him in an old car. Yeonjo screamed and begged to be let out, but the man ignored him. At some point, another man in a suit got in, and they started driving somewhere quickly.

I don’t want this. I want to get out. Let me go.

Yeonjo muttered incessantly as if he had lost his mind. But the two men ignored him as if they couldn’t hear him.

Lying in the backseat like a slaughtered piece of meat, Yeonjo watched the rapidly changing scenery outside the window and sobbed.

How did things get to this point? He didn’t know anymore. What he had done so far, what was true, whether it was all his delusion. He just wanted to live a normal life. Was even that too much to ask for? Would it have been better to die in the flames that day while searching for that child? Then he wouldn’t have known this heart-wrenching confusion and pain.

“…”

The car left Seoul and drove for a long time on the highway. Yeonjo, who had no energy left to cry and was barely breathing, opened his eyes at the violent shaking of the car. The car had left the highway and was climbing a winding country road.

“Is this it?”

“We need to go a little further.”

“Ah, this damn countryside, the GPS doesn’t even work here. It’s confusing as hell every time I come here.”

The two men in the front seats muttered.

“Shouldn’t we at least cover his face with something?”

“It’s fine. He looks out of it. How could he possibly remember the way?”

“True. We’re not going to let him go again anyway.”

They’re not going to let him go? He felt as if his hazy mind was suddenly clearing. Yeonjo raised his head and looked at the scenery outside. How far had they come? The streetlights were becoming fewer and further between, and the surroundings were so dark that they had to rely solely on the car’s headlights.

Were they going to sell him to a fishing boat or harvest his organs, as he had only heard rumors of? They might have decided he was no longer valuable at the store.

Yeonjo was terrified. While he had been lost in despair, the three of them had arrived at a rural village far from Seoul.

He wondered if there was any point in being alive now. He wasn’t afraid of dying here, but his only concern was his grandmother. If he didn’t return, his grandmother wouldn’t be able to receive further treatment. There was no one else to care for her. Her only remaining family was Yeonjo.

He thought about asking what would happen to him but changed his mind. It was obvious the men wouldn’t answer.

Yeonjo looked up at the stars and the moon in the sky and thought of Boss Gu. It was impossible to shake him from his mind, no matter how much he tried. He couldn’t calm down, knowing Boss Gu might be at the place they were going.

“Hey, we’re here, get up.”

The rattling stopped, and the man in the driver’s seat ordered. Yeonjo blinked slowly and raised his body. When the car door opened, the chirping of insects filled the air. He could faintly hear a dog barking somewhere.

“Wait here. I’ll make a call, so make sure this bastard doesn’t go anywhere.”

Even though his hands and feet were tied, making it impossible for him to take a single step, the man repeated his instructions to the other man and walked outside.

“Damn insects. They’re chirping like crazy.”

The remaining man muttered in a disgruntled voice. A short while later, the man who had made the call returned, opened the back door, and roughly pulled Yeonjo out.

“Stop collapsing and get out.”

As Yeonjo stumbled, unable to keep his balance, the man took a utility knife from the trunk and cut the rope binding his ankles.

“Should I untie his hands too?”

“Let’s leave them tied. So he can’t do anything funny.”

As the rope around his ankles fell away, his feet, which had lost circulation, began to tingle. Every time he took a step, a burning pain spread through his feet, making him wince. The men walked silently for a few minutes along the country road, nudging Yeonjo, who was walking unsteadily.

Soon, an old house appeared at the end of a narrow alley. It was a very old house with a wooden porch and doors on either side. The roof seemed to be patched together haphazardly with planks, making it look more like an abandoned house than a home.

All his dulled senses became acutely heightened. What kind of place was this? Why had they dragged him all the way out to this countryside? Was he going to die here? All sorts of horrible scenarios ran through his mind.

Now that he was facing a real threat to his life, he shivered and felt terrified, his teeth chattering. But even if he managed to escape from here and return to Seoul, his situation wouldn’t change. It would just be a continuation of his impoverished life, bowing down for money and being chased.

Maybe it would be better to die here. Then this painful, meaningless life would finally be at peace. Since stubbornly surviving that fire 14 years ago, Yeonjo had often thought that way.

Yeonjo obediently followed the men into the yard of the house. As he stood there powerlessly, a familiar low voice reached his ears.

“The steel industry complex hasn’t been officially announced yet. But people are catching wind of it here and there.”

Yeonjo turned his head and stared into the dark porch. A red cigarette ember blinked brightly in the pitch-black darkness.

“There’s no other way but to make a move before the land prices go up any further. We plan to finish it up and withdraw within this month. I’ll contact you again then.”

He knew who it was without having to see his face. His heart felt like it was plummeting to the ground. Yeonjo was so shocked that he froze like a statue, forgetting to even breathe.

Meanwhile, Boss Gu, who had finished his call inside the house, appeared in the yard.

“Hyungnim. I’ve brought Cha Yeonjo.”

At his subordinate’s words, Boss Gu, with one hand in his pants pocket, slowly approached. The only light came from a distant streetlamp, so only the outline of his figure was faintly visible. Yeonjo broke out in a cold sweat, as if he was witnessing a monster shaped like a black mass approaching him.

When the monster reached out and grabbed his chin, he almost screamed.

“He’s not damaged beyond repair.”

Boss Gu said, turning Yeonjo’s face this way and that, examining it. Yeonjo’s unusually pale skin stood out clearly even in the darkness, brighter than other objects.

“It’s not that he’s physically damaged, but his mind seems completely broken.”

The subordinate who had dragged Yeonjo here explained, tapping his index finger against his head. Yeonjo felt Boss Gu’s gaze scanning him up and down.

He threw his short cigarette butt on the ground and took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. The subordinate standing next to him, with an overly enthusiastic gesture, took out a lighter and lit the new cigarette. In the flickering orange light of the lighter, Boss Gu’s face was clearly revealed before disappearing back into the darkness.

The gloomy sound of him inhaling through the filter spread through the air. Yeonjo flinched. The phone Boss Gu had put inside his jacket rang again. He pressed the end call button without even checking the caller ID. His cold gaze remained fixed on Yeonjo.

“You have no intention of paying back the money, do you?”

The smoke from Boss Gu’s mouth blew into Yeonjo’s face. Yeonjo, who had been standing blankly as if frozen, started coughing, his chest heaving involuntarily.

“Kek… cough, heut, cough, cough!”

As if that was some kind of signal, Yeonjo turned and started running. He didn’t want to be near him for another second. Without any plan, driven by the single thought of wanting to go somewhere where he wasn’t, he moved his legs.

“Ha, huff, huff…!”

Yeonjo ran past the yard and out the green gate. The narrow, bumpy slope hurt his feet, but he endured it. However, his hands were still tied, restricting his movement. In the end, he tripped over his own feet and fell ungracefully before he could get far.

“Bring him back.”

A low voice came from behind.

“Yes, Hyungnim!”

Yeonjo struggled to get up. But the subordinates who had chased him immediately grabbed him.

“Let go, let go of me!”

He resisted desperately, but it was no use. They dragged Yeonjo like a sack of rice, over the rusty gate and back into the yard. Tears welled up in Yeonjo’s eyes again out of frustration.

“I just said he wasn’t damaged, and he gets a scratch right away.”

Boss Gu clicked his tongue, looking at Yeonjo’s face, which was scraped against the dirt floor. His eyes, which had quickly adjusted to the darkness, clearly captured Boss Gu’s face against the dark backdrop. Short curly hair, angular jaw, tightly closed lips, and dark, stern eyes like charcoal.

Yeonjo could no longer bear looking at his face, so clearly etched in his vision.

See, it’s not him. It can’t be. Boss Gu and that child have nothing to do with each other. Please, someone tell me I’m wrong.

“Hey, aren’t you going to get up properly? We can’t sell you at the store if you’re like this all the time.”

“No, let go of this! Don’t… It can’t be. Please, please, just let me go…”

“This guy’s lost it. He was causing such a ruckus at the store earlier that we couldn’t put him in a room.”

The subordinate holding the frantic Yeonjo looked at Boss Gu cautiously.

“His face is a bit of a waste… should I contact the disposal team?”

Boss Gu smoked his cigarette in silence for a while. He seemed to be contemplating what to do with Yeonjo, who was sobbing and muttering incomprehensible words.

“Put him in the room for now.”

“Yes, Hyungnim.”

As soon as the order was given, the subordinates dragged Yeonjo onto the porch and opened the closed door.

“I thought you were going to take him somewhere else since you told us to bring him all the way here, but I guess not.”

“Well, his face is pretty. You’re lucky.”

The man took a small knife from his pocket and cut the rope that was binding Yeonjo’s wrists. Then he pushed him onto the floor as if tossing him aside. One of the subordinates took out metal shackles from a toolbox in the corner and fastened them around Yeonjo’s ankles.

“No, wait. Should we just break his legs? So he can’t run far even if he escapes.”

A rough hand gripped Yeonjo’s leg tightly. Yeonjo thrashed like a fish caught in a net, struggling to get free.

“Hik, wait! N-No!”

Just as his thin calf was about to be twisted, the other man slapped the hand away.

“Stop it. What if something happens? The hospital’s so damn far from here, it’ll be hard to fix him. Just tie him up. It’ll be troublesome if he dies after we mess him up…”

Yeonjo’s breath hitched at the chilling words. They talked about human life as lightly as they would talk about the weather.

“Where should I tie him up, damn it?”

The man who had shackled Yeonjo’s ankle looked around the room, holding the attached chain. There was no large furniture or support to secure it to.

“Tie it to the pillar outside the room.”

“I guess so.”

The man obediently went outside and wrapped the chain around the large pillar in front of the room, securing it. Yeonjo hesitantly touched the shackles on his ankles. They weren’t particularly thick or elaborate, but it seemed impossible to unlock them without a key unless he had exceptional strength.

“They usually just take out the organs of guys who lose their minds and get rid of them, but I guess you’re still useful. Be grateful for your face and tight ass. Huh?”

The man who had secured the chain came back into the room and double-checked that Yeonjo’s shackles were properly fastened.

“Make sure you pay Hyungnim back well with your body.”

He laughed coarsely. The other man also made a dirty joke, looking at Yeonjo, who was frowning.

“If you just drain his fluids every night, he’ll almost have paid off his debt by the time we go back to Seoul. Depending on how well he does, he might even earn more.”

“He can’t escape now, right?”

“As long as it’s secured properly. Where’s the key?”

“I’ve got it safe.”

“Let’s go then. Ugh, damn it. I’m so tired I could die. The road’s shit too, making it a pain in the ass to drive. This place is just awful.”

They slipped the chain connected to the outside through the flimsy gap in the door, turned off the light, and left. Only after the loud clatter of their boots faded away did Yeonjo exhale the breath he had been holding. He huddled in the corner and belatedly tried to move his body.

Clank, clank.

A dirty metallic sound rang from the chain shackles. He tried pulling on them a few times and kicking them against the floor, but it only hurt his ankles, the shackles didn’t budge.

“Haa…”

Yeonjo went back to the corner and leaned against the wall. He was scared because he couldn’t see anything. Being trapped in a remote house in the dead of night, unable to move with his feet chained, no light whatsoever… It felt like a murderer could burst in and kill him at any moment.

As he huddled with his knees drawn up, the horrifying scenes etched in his mind resurfaced. On the day he abandoned that child and ran away, he had also hugged his knees like this, closing his eyes and endlessly waiting for time to pass. The fire he had seen that day, and the child’s shadow flickering like a phantom. In the end, it was always painful because the memory of his sin was so vivid.

“…”

The eerie hooting of an owl echoed from somewhere in the woods outside. Rustle, slither. Scratch, scratch. Unidentifiable noises he had never heard in the city continued endlessly.

I’m scared. I don’t want to be here.

Muttering to himself, Yeonjo crawled towards the door.

“Hello! Is anyone out there? Please let me out!”

Yeonjo banged on the door and called out.

A strong gust of wind blew, and the old wooden door creaked loudly. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.

“H-Hello? Is there anyone here? Please let me out. I don’t want to be here.”

Yeonjo desperately shouted at the locked door. With no sign of human presence and unable to see anything, it felt like he was alone in a mountain forest filled with tall trees.

Whether it was a ghost, a beast, or a murderer, it felt like something would jump out at any moment to harm him.

“Please… I’m so scared. I’m sorry. I won’t run away again… Please let me out of here…”

Yeonjo cried in front of the door and quickly became exhausted. Soon, instead of fear of the unfamiliar place, longing washed over him. The smell of fish and dampness clinging to the blankets and clothes, the wrinkled hands that caressed his face, the gentle voice, the one who had loved him unconditionally…

“Grandma…”

As Yeonjo collapsed on the floor, the metallic sound of the chains scraping against each other was especially chilling.

Would his grandmother be okay? What if her health had deteriorated? Was she worried about him not contacting her? Had she eaten properly?

He couldn’t think straight. He wished all of this was a dream – being dragged all the way here from Seoul, meeting Boss Gu in this remote place, being trapped here like an animal.

But fear and longing, like everything else, inevitably became familiar with time. Yeonjo closed his eyes, listening to the chirping of insects.

As time passed, he felt his pounding heart gradually calming down. He was still afraid of the unfamiliar space and the abnormal situation, but despite that, Yeonjo was getting used to it. Just like his life had always been. There was no other way but to get used to it.

🚬

The sun was high in the sky, but the men hadn’t returned. For over ten hours, Yeonjo sat in the cramped room, waiting for someone to let him out.