Actually, It’s a Messy Melodrama Chapter 36

“Cha…… Haeshin?”

Just then, Taejun faintly opened his eyes. Haeshin immediately bent down and moved closer to Taejun.

“CEO, are you alright?”

Even at Haeshin’s question, Taejun couldn’t answer right away and just blinked slowly. From the unfocused look in his barely visible eyes, it seemed he wasn’t fully conscious yet.

“His fever must still be high……”

Worried about Taejun’s condition, Haeshin reached out a hand to touch Taejun’s forehead. At that moment, Taejun suddenly grabbed Haeshin’s wrist with a strong grip.

“CEO?”

“Cha Haeshin……”

“Yes. I heard you were sick, so……”

A sudden worry that Taejun might be displeased with him for showing up at his house unannounced made him try to explain, but Taejun spoke first.

“Don’t worry.”

“……Excuse me?”

“This time, I’ll definitely…… save you.”

“What does that……?”

Taejun’s unexpected words made Haeshin freeze. Too surprised to even ask back right away, Haeshin just stammered while Taejun released his grip and closed his eyes. Even then, Haeshin’s mouth just kept opening and closing.

“What on earth do you mean by that?”

By the time Haeshin barely came to his senses and managed to utter a proper sentence, Taejun had already fallen back asleep.

“What was that about, really?”

But Haeshin kept asking, as if to himself. No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t understand what it meant at all.

The words ‘I’ll save you’—sure, it felt like an overly heavy phrase for Han Taejun to use, but since Haeshin had in fact asked for help, he could let that slide. The problem was the phrase ‘this time.’

‘I’ll save you this time.’ Doesn’t that sound just like there was another chance where Taejun failed to save him? There was no way Han Taejun could know about Cha Haeshin’s repeating time loops. Unknowingly, Haeshin’s clasped hands began to tremble. Even as he told himself it was just the nonsense of a sick man, his startled heart wouldn’t calm down.

Suddenly, he recalled the Han Taejuns of the past two timelines who had watched him die. Even though those times had already vanished and the Han Taejun before him now had never experienced those moments, what Taejun had just said sounded as if he remembered Cha Haeshin’s deaths. That’s what it sounded like.

For a long while, Haeshin sat there, gazing at Taejun’s face. He knew it was probably just simple nonsense, but for some reason, he felt comforted, and it felt like tears were about to fall.

☂️

“What are you?”

Taejun, who came out to the living room while drying his wet hair, frowned upon discovering Cha Haeshin bustling about in the kitchen. He thought he’d seen Cha Haeshin in a dream, but now he wondered if it wasn’t a dream but reality. Or maybe he was still dreaming.

“Oh? CEO, you’re awake? How are you feeling?”

“I said, what are you?”

“Ah, I heard you were ill, so I came to visit…… and since you didn’t wake up, I slept here too.”

Taejun was momentarily at a loss for words. First, Cha Haeshin said it so cheerfully that it felt awkward to say anything back to him. He also had no idea how he found out he was sick, and on top of that, he wondered what kind of guts it took to just up and sleep here because he didn’t wake up.

“You, you, how did you know?”

So, Taejun chose the most neutral question. Haeshin placed the spoon he was holding on the dining table and answered.

“You told me I could stay here. That’s what Secretary Choi told me.”

“Ah……”

“So I came and found you groaning and sick, you know?”

Taejun just blinked his eyes again. There were too many things to address.

“I wasn’t ‘groaning and sick,’ you know?”

“But you were……”

“And, it’s true I said you could stay here, but who told you to come right away?”

“You didn’t say when I should come, so I just came……”

He was at a loss for words again. When he thought about it, it wasn’t wrong. It seemed Secretary Choi had deliberately brought Cha Haeshin here. It was a reasonable suspicion.

A secretary of Choi Jungho’s caliber wouldn’t have made the judgment call to let a near-stranger into the house when Taejun was sick for no reason. He must have felt there was a need for it.

“I’m sorry if I made a mistake.”

Meanwhile, Haeshin bowed his head with a dejected expression. This was clearly an act. As Taejun let out a hollow laugh, Haeshin immediately put on a mischievous smile and continued.

“Anyway, are you feeling better? Has your fever gone down?”

“I’m fine.”

Taejun answered, unnecessarily running a hand through his hair. A wave of embarrassment washed over him at the thought that Cha Haeshin had seen him in a sickly state. In reality, Taejun’s condition was much better. He must have sweated a lot in his sleep, because after getting up and taking a shower, his body felt considerably lighter.

“That’s a relief.”

Along with Haeshin’s reply, the housekeeper placed a bowl of porridge on the table and said.

“Sir, I’ve prepared porridge for now, but please let me know if you’d like a rice meal.”

“Porridge is fine. Thank you.”

Taejun replied and looked at Haeshin at the same time. His gaze meant, by the way, why were you putting a spoon on the table here? Haeshin smiled awkwardly.

“I just felt a bit awkward doing nothing……”

“I told him to just relax, but he insisted on helping.”

The housekeeper, Younghwa, added, seemingly worried that she might be misunderstood for making Taejun’s guest work. Taejun looked at Haeshin, who was nodding beside her, then finally answered Younghwa.

“I understand. You can go back to your work.”

“Please call me if you need anything else.”

After Younghwa withdrew, a short silence fell over the kitchen. It was almost like the two men were in a standoff. Before long, Taejun was the first to move, sitting down at the dining table.

“Sit.”

“Yes!”

Haeshin also quickly took a seat opposite Taejun. Taejun picked up his spoon and, pretending to stir his porridge, glanced at Haeshin. The way his eyes darted around, he looked like someone with a lot to say.

“What is it you want to say.”

“Um, you should eat first. It’s not important.”

“I’ll eat at my own pace, so just say it.”

“Umm, well……”

Haeshin, uncharacteristically, hesitated. For something he claimed wasn’t important, it seemed like a pretty important issue. Taejun took a bite of porridge, deliberately pretending not to be too concerned.

“Do you happen to remember what you said to me yesterday?”

“Me? Yesterday?”

“Yes. Yesterday when I was in your bedroom for a moment……”

The more Haeshin spoke, the more a strange sense of anxiety Taejun felt. The fact that Haeshin was in his bedroom while he was asleep was unsettling, and above all, he was more anxious because he had no memory of saying anything.

“I don’t remember waking up.”

“Ah, I see……. Then don’t worry about it. You must have been talking in your sleep.”

For a moment, Taejun fiercely debated whether or not to ask what he had said in his sleep. He was curious, but at the same time, he had a premonition that it might be better not to know.

“What did I say?”

But in the end, Taejun couldn’t hold back his curiosity. He wondered what on earth he could have said to make the brazen-as-the-sky Cha Haeshin hesitate this much.

Haeshin was silent for a moment, looking Taejun straight in the eyes. His brown eyes, almost orange, shone strangely. Contrary to those eyes, Haeshin shrugged his shoulders as if it were no big deal and opened his mouth.

“You told me not to worry.”

Taejun’s hand holding the spoon tensed up. His heart started pounding even before Haeshin had finished speaking.

“That you would definitely save me this time.”

“……”

“That’s what you said.”

Was it just his imagination that Haeshin seemed to emphasize the words ‘this time’? To hide his emotions, Taejun slowly brought a spoonful of porridge to his mouth. His tongue felt gritty, as if he were chewing on sand.

Slowly swallowing the porridge, Taejun, who had barely managed to calm himself, opened his mouth.

“I did?”

“Yes.”

“Must have been talking in my sleep.”

His mouth went dry, unsure if his answer would seem natural to Haeshin. He couldn’t even drink water comfortably for fear of looking anxious.

It was true that he had seen Cha Haeshin in his dream. The sight of Haeshin, battered and dying, had become Han Taejun’s nightmare. In his dreams, Taejun always failed to save Haeshin. No matter how much he struggled, it was useless. He was always too late, and he could never reach him.

That must be why he said it. Because this time, he absolutely did not want to see Haeshin die like that, he ended up making a promise even when he wasn’t in his right mind.

The recurring nightmares made Taejun more and more desperate. Even though it wasn’t his own business, he wanted to stop it somehow. Feeling bitter, Taejun took another spoonful of porridge and shoved it into his mouth. Haeshin, who had been watching him quietly, spoke.

“It seemed that way. You looked completely out of it.”

Haeshin’s voice was light. He didn’t seem to be very suspicious. Taejun had been worried he might probe persistently, so it was a relief. Haeshin slowly stirred his porridge with a spoon and added.

“It was also kind of touching.”

“Touching?”

“Yes. After all…… it means you’re thinking about me enough to even talk about me in your sleep, right?”

Haeshin grinned at the end of his sentence. It was a refreshing smile, one that made it hard to guess he was a person who had endured such an arduous life, even if not for Jin Youngmin.

Funnily enough, Taejun now disliked that cheerfulness of Haeshin’s. He felt it would be more comforting if he just cried about how hard things were. Curiosity, interest, pity, anticipation for a new answer. It was a feeling that couldn’t be described by any of those words.

“That’s a very generous interpretation of a dream.”

In the end, Taejun could only reply with his usual chiding tone.

“I only make good interpretations.”

Haeshin replied brightly, not backing down. The porridge he mechanically scooped into his mouth was only bitter.