Mother Tape Chapter 8.3

“Want more?”

“……”

Jaekwon, who quickly understood that silence meant yes, skillfully peeled a few more.

“You don’t seem to do much housework, but you handle a knife well?”

“Ah. It’s because I learned self defense.”

“They teach you how to use a knife in self defense?”

“To avoid a knife, you first have to get familiar with one yourself.”

However, even if you can dodge a knife, a gun is hard to dodge. Jaekwon was about to say that he had even worn a bulletproof vest before but stopped, worried that Wisoo would become even more serious than he already was.

To think there were so many dangerous things in the world.

Jaekwon realized anew just how detached a world he had entered. The time when gunshots were a common occurrence a block away and he had to walk carefully to avoid the syringes on the ground felt like a very distant past.

“Is this why people move to the countryside….”

Next to him, Wisoo, who had been chewing on the peach flesh, perked up his ears at the mutter.

“Are you planning to move to the countryside?”

“Even more rural than here? No. This is more than enough. By the way, you’re eating well. You haven’t been eating much lately.”

“I know. I guess it really was because of the heat.”

Wisoo answered cheerfully and devoured four peaches.

And four hours later, as if to mock what he had eaten, he threw it all up and fell into a pale, wheezing sleep.
Saeck saeck.

“Should I take him to the hospital.”

Jaekwon, who had placed a hand on Wisoo’s forehead to check for a fever, clicked his tongue.
Tch.

Wisoo, hearing the word ‘hospital’ even in his sleep, started to whine.

“I don’t want to. I hate the hospital….”

In the past, he would have dragged him there by force, but after hearing about Wisoo’s past, it became difficult to do so. He finally understood why Wisoo had hated psychiatric counseling so much back then.

“Tell me if it hurts too much. Though if you look like you’re in too much pain, I’ll take you by force.”

“I’ll be okay….”

This state, accompanied by a headache and nausea, felt somehow familiar to Wisoo. It was just like back then, when he would swallow handfuls of the medicine the Teacher gave him to change his traits. It seemed the side effects from stopping the medication he used to take were only now appearing. Although he was told there were no narcotic drugs in it, you never know. He could not trust the Teacher in the slightest anymore. Not wanting to add the stigma of being a drug addict to his name, Wisoo did not mention such things and just groaned in pain.
Keung keung.

“Should I get you some juice?”

“…Pineapple juice.”

“Oh dear. We don’t have that.”

Where was the nearest convenience store again.

Jaekwon felt his feet refuse to move at the thought of leaving Wisoo. But Wisoo’s expression turned tearful, as if a mere sip of pineapple juice was a desperate elixir for a patient.

“I want to drink it…. I think I’ll feel better if I drink something sweet and sour….”

“Aigoo. You’re going to cry because there’s no juice. I get it. I get it, so….”

He looked up the nearest supermarket. The business hours were cutting it close. Jaekwon clicked his tongue, bookmarked a convenience store as a backup plan, then grabbed his wallet and stood up. It was an awkward distance to go by car. Considering parking, it would be better to run there and back.

“I’ll be back, so call me if anything happens.”

“Okay. Nothing will happen.”

Wisoo mumbled, barely able to open his eyes.

Jaekwon went outside.

The weather had changed so drastically in those few days. He could fully feel the change of seasons. It was sweltering during the day and cool after the sun set. Above all, the days getting shorter was the biggest change. A fortunate thing. It was good weather for running.

Jaekwon went to the supermarket first. The inside of the supermarket, preparing for closing, was chaotic. In the beverage aisle, there were tomato juice, aloe juice, apple, and orange juice, but only pineapple juice was missing. Frowning, Jaekwon picked up the aloe and orange juice.

After paying at the last counter, which was about to close out its register, Jaekwon headed for the second convenience store he had bookmarked. His pace grew faster and faster. A strange feeling that he had to get back quickly. This had never happened before, but Jaekwon’s heart was beating irregularly, and his mood was sinking lower and lower. And just then, at the fork in the road leading to his house and the second convenience store, the phone rang.

“Hello.”

―Where are you?!

“I just stepped out. Why.”

―Did you contact Na Hakyoung?

“I figured I knew what he’d say, so I didn’t contact him.”

The truth was, he had not wanted to confirm with his own hands that the connection between Seon Wisoo and his guardianship was severed. Would it have been different if Seon Wisoo had answered his marriage proposal affirmatively? It would have been different. Jaekwon was slowly realizing what he had been crucially turning a blind eye to. His steps became more and more urgent. A strange anxiety filled the alleyway, where the glare from the streetlights that looked like large eyes lengthened as the sun set, with large strides.

“Why.”

Jaekwon asked roughly.

―Na Hakyoung contacted me. He asked what my relationship with Kwak Jaekyung was. I told him a few things since he knew Kwak Jaekyung was a member of the Kwak family, but he said he was unusually persistent in asking about Seon Wisoo and the trust.

“So. What did you say.”

―I told him to stop bothering Seon Wisoo and go ask Kwak Jaekwon, but I have a bad feeling. For some reason…. Is Seon Wisoo home alone, then?!

Hwang Gujo, realizing it suddenly, asked urgently.

“Hang up.”

He had probably felt the same anxiety. Jaekwon shoved his phone into his pocket and started running.

Anxiety is a feeling similar to countless eyes being fixed on you. It is unpleasant, so you avoid it. It is awkward and uncomfortable, so you do not want to face it.

Was that why he had not faced it, even though all the signs were there?

No. He was just a little late.

From the beginning, he should have just put Seon Wisoo under his complete control from the very beginning. From the beginning, he should have given him a twin phone that had a clone, checked for CCTV, and then rerouted it to be streamed to him.

From the beginning, from the beginning….

But he had not wanted to live like Kwak Bonyoung. He did not know that would be what held him back.

Kwak Jaekyung had noticed that Seon Wisoo gave up the trust. If Kwak Jaekyung knew, it was obvious who his lackey would have reported it to. The fortune that was unnecessary to him, the fortune that Seon Wisoo was not greedy for, could have been something someone else coveted madly.

Jaekwon ran from the convenience store back home.

Hwang Gujo might have started heading this way as soon as he hung up, no, maybe even before that.

“Hurry up and get here, Hwang Gujo.”

Jaekwon, having muttered this, discovered several cars parked in front of the house.

His whole body felt like it was turning cold. The anxiety had become reality. Cursing, he rushed into the house like a madman.

Wisoo, who should have been lying down on the second floor, was in the first floor living room, and on the first floor were uninvited guests.

Jaekwon, who stood in the entryway panting heavily, muttered.

“What’s this… guests arriving late at night without an invitation.”

At his voice, Wisoo’s deeply bowed head lifted. Seon Wisoo, whom he had fed and raised so well, had become a mess in that short time.

“Kwak Jaekwon….”

Wisoo’s cheeks were flushed, either from a fever or from resisting, while his arm was held by Jeong Taegyu.

“Who gave you permission to come in? It’s unlikely an ailing Seon Wisoo would have opened the door.”

“We couldn’t help but break in since he was inside but wouldn’t open the door. My, my, we’re causing such a nuisance.”

“Would someone who knows they’re being a nuisance do that. You’re certainly fast. I took down all the cameras, so how did you know the house was empty and come crawling in like rats so quickly?”

Jaekwon retorted, scanning the area for something to use as a weapon. The only thing within reach worth using was a shoe.

“We didn’t come hoping Kwak Jaekwon wouldn’t be home. We had business with you anyway.”

Jeong Taegyu forcefully grabbed and pulled Wisoo’s arm. At the cry of, Ah, Jaekwon lunged forward before he could even think. Kwak Jaekyung barely managed to stop such a Jaekwon.

“Jaekwon-ah. You’re late. We came to see you.”

Jaekwon, his eyes glowing with a blue glint, ground his teeth and asked Kwak Jaekyung.

“You, you’re so desperate to follow my ass that you’d give up your own to a quack like that?”

“Jaekwon-ah. Your words are harsh.”

“You’re the one who’s harsh, you bastard who doesn’t know his place. What kind of rampage is this, coming into someone else’s house.”

“Seems you’re the one who can’t grasp his place? This house belongs to Seon Wisoo.”

“What…?”

Jaekwon glared at Jeong Taegyu for daring to interrupt his words.

Up close, the even more diminutive Jeong Taegyu had smooth, shining skin and almost no wrinkles, no matter what money he had spent how. That was deeply unpleasant. It felt like youth squeezed out of Seon Wisoo.

“I heard Chairman Kwak left this to Wisoo. Therefore, this is Wisoo’s. Although our Wisoo doesn’t listen to his Teacher….”

“Aack! Ah, it hurts. It hurts, Teacher!”

The hand that deliberately used its fingertips harshly to pinch the inside of his arm was remarkably skilled. It was not the first time.

“Though I didn’t know he would give up all of Chairman Kwak’s assets.”

“Give up? You talk as if Seon Wisoo bestowed some great act of kindness. That was mine from the beginning. It was just temporarily tied up to protect Seon Wisoo.”

So just leave Seon Wisoo alone. Jaekwon tried his best to show them that there was a distance between himself and Seon Wisoo. Here, the two of them must not become each other’s weakness.

“Protection?”

But Jeong Taegyu scoffed loudly. Kwak Jaekwon tried to grab Kwak Jaekyung by the scruff of his neck and push him away, but six burly men appeared from somewhere, entering through the open front door and seizing Jaekwon.

Kwak Jaekwon moved his body reflexively. He clenched his fist tightly and struck the chin of the first guy who tried to rush him, then jabbed his elbow into the solar plexus of the bastard holding him from behind. In the meantime, another huge man clung to his arm, so enduring the pain, he twisted his body and kicked him deep in the side with his leg, but aside from the one who was dazed from the hit to the jaw, the rest of them charged at Kwak Jaekwon viciously as if they were on drugs, perhaps having bulked up just for this kind of work.

Kwak Jaekwon was incredible on his own, but he could not handle seven men—the two who rushed in after the six, accounting for the one who was down.

“Kwak Jaekwon! No, no, Teacher! Teacher, please. Don’t do it, please!”

Then the space echoed loudly. A jjak sound was heard. Even Kwak Jaekwon’s body, which had been struggling amidst the hulking figures despite his mouth splitting and skin tearing, froze. Wisoo’s head was turned to the side. It was then that Wisoo’s arms went limp, his pupils widened, and his resistance stopped as if it were ingrained in his body.

Taking advantage of the brief pause, Kwak Jaekwon tried to break free from those holding him down. However, even for Kwak Jaekwon, it was not easy to break through the weight of seven or eight men pouncing at once.

“It wasn’t protection, Chairman Kwak believed that through this child, he would gain a body with which he could speak again. Not knowing that while you can borrow a vessel for a moment, you cannot live in it forever.”

Jeong Taegyu sneered, shaking the limp Wisoo like a ragdoll as he pleased.

“What did you say…?”

Jaekwon’s expression crumpled in utter revulsion.

“With that level of resentment, there’s no way he would have peacefully passed on to the next world during the 49th day ceremony. Especially since I asked a particularly spiritually gifted monk to chant the sutras for him splendidly.”

“……”

Resignation draped over Wisoo’s reddening, swelling cheek. Jaekwon wanted to scream. He wanted to endlessly mutter and whisper into that ear. Don’t give up. The one I fed and nurtured with such care. But shaking off the four burly men pressing down on his limbs all at once was not an easy task, even for Jaekwon. When would Hwang Gujo arrive. Jaekwon ground his teeth.

“Since the trust is out of the question, I came thinking I should at least take our child back. So the plan was never to just come for Wisoo in an empty house.”

The Teacher said, smiling as if he were supremely benevolent.

“Stop your bullshit. How can you decide that.”

“I can say this precisely because I no longer have the qualification of a guardian. I am this child’s oldest protector.”

But the Teacher, who called himself a protector, roughly pulled at Wisoo’s clothes. The collar of the t-shirt stretched out, and the nape of his neck, scraped by it, turned bright red. And the skin that was revealed…. What had been a mark of affection just 30 minutes ago had now become the result of a vile act.

“You turned the child I raised so preciously into such a rag?!”

Jeong Taegyu, now triumphant, shouted at the top of his lungs. Jaekwon couldn’t hear any of that nonsense. All he could see was Wisoo, trembling at the hands that had made him so powerless. Unable to offer any resistance even amidst such insults.

Now he understood why Seon Wisoo was so used to insults. The reason he did not get angry or hurt was because there was no space left to inflict new wounds.

“Our Wisoo has become a prostitute. A prostitute. Did you get some money, Wisoo-yah. Did I teach you like that. Didn’t I tell you there must be a price for everything you do.”

“I’m, I’m, I’m sorry….”

Wisoo answered with his head bowed low, his voice trembling. He seemed unaware of what he was even apologizing for.

“Wisoo-yah. Wisoo-yah, Wisoo-yah, Wisoo-yah.”

Jeong Taegyu let out a deep sigh and grabbed Wisoo’s shoulders, shaking him roughly. Then he stopped abruptly, forced Wisoo’s head up, and asked in a disgustingly gentle tone.

“I didn’t turn you into an Omega just for you to become a hole for Alphas, did I.”

“……!”

Jaekwon’s eyes flew open in shock at the unbelievable words. With the secret he wanted to hide exposed, Wisoo just blinked his lips vacantly, like a person suddenly stripped of their clothes.

“Hey, you son of a bitch—!”

Jaekwon’s scream, like a desperate cry, resounded through the space.

“Aigoo. Alphas, I tell you. They’re so beastly. Our Wisoo, whom I protected like a precious treasure, must have been frightened. It wasn’t forcible rape, was it?”

Wisoo shook his head frantically. Then the Teacher slapped his cheek and asked again.

“He did it by force, didn’t he?”

He shook his head, and was hit again.

“He did it by force, didn’t he?”

He shook his head, and was hit again.

This was repeated five times.

Blood burst from the corner of Wisoo’s mouth. Even when his cheek swelled so much that the area around his eye puffed up, Wisoo stubbornly shook his head.

Kwak Jaekwon clawed wildly at the floor. He paid no mind even as his fingernails were scraped away and bled.

And just then, the sound of a car screeching to a halt registered in his highly developed senses. Hwang Gujo, hurry up, you bastard. Please, please, fuck. Jaekwon prayed desperately.

“Your body’s gotten dirty and your mind’s gotten dirty in the time I haven’t seen you. Thanks to you, the Teacher has more work to do when we get back, Wisoo-yah.”

Jeong Taegyu shook his head as if he had no more time to waste here.

Throughout all this, Wisoo did not look at Jaekwon. Out of fear of what the Teacher might do to Jaekwon if he did. For now, the only way to protect each other was to look away.

“You seem to have grown quite attached to the boy.”

Jeong Taegyu, who had neatened his clothes that were disheveled from hitting Wisoo, smiled faintly. Kwak Jaekyung, meanwhile, secretly took pictures of Kwak Jaekwon with a silent camera. He would use them as a snack to go with his drinks at night.

“Kwa, Kwak Jaekwon!”

Just then, Hwang Gujo entered, panting.

“You bastards… what is this?!”

“What do you mean, what is this. You came after everything’s been taken care of, you idiot bastard.”

Kwak Jaekyung chuckled and casually grabbed Hwang Gujo’s shoulder. Hwang Gujo roughly shook him off. His gaze, after landing on Jaekwon, was fixed on the disheveled Wisoo.

When Wisoo’s eyes met Hwang Gujo’s, his gaze wavered for a moment before he quickly bowed his head again. Then, as if on an invisible leash, he followed the Teacher.

“Let’s go. It’s not a good day to see more blood. One must be careful on the new moon.”

At those hypocritical words that sounded like a favor, the burly men got up from Kwak Jaekwon’s body. Kwak Jaekwon, despite having been pinned down like that, ran with monstrous reflexes and grabbed Wisoo.

“Don’t go.”

“……”

“Don’t go, Seon Wisoo. You don’t have to go.”

The Teacher did not stop Jaekwon from grabbing him. He even raised a hand to stop the burly men. Although that was deeply unsettling, Jaekwon wanted to immediately hold Seon Wisoo in his arms, go to a place those people would never know, and feed him only the drinks and pineapple juice he had bought.

“Jaekwon-ah. Don’t you remember the Teacher?”

But the Teacher, Jeong Taegyu, was a sinister, damp swamp-like person….

“My name wasn’t Jeong Taegyu back then, was it. What was it, Gil Seonjae. Yes. It was Gil Seonjae.”

“…What kind of trick is this now?”

Jaekwon asked in a strained voice, clenching his jaw. He had to shut that mouth. Striding forward, he grabbed Jeong Taegyu by the collar. Jeong Taegyu, who let out a brief, keok, sound, stopped the men who were about to rush forward with a gesture of his hand. Even with his neck being grabbed, he was composed. With difficulty, but managing to create a space between Kwak Jaekwon’s grip and his neck, he continued to speak. Words like a poisonous fog spread.

“It’s not a trick, I’m just suggesting we talk about old times. You seem to have no memory at all even when I say this. I understand. You weren’t a very happy child, you see. That’s why the Teacher had very high hopes for you as you grew up….”

And so, Jeong Taegyu was uncannily good at finding people’s deficiencies and seeping into them.

“Was it the autumn you turned eighteen, you came to see the Teacher just once. Your mother was here for the second time, and she had already met Chairman Kwak several times.”

“Mother, you say…?”

A face attached itself to a scene that had only been a voice in the flustered Jaekwon’s mind. A person who had unpleasantly touched him, calling his hands ones that would grasp wealth. It was a younger Jeong Taegyu.

As Jaekwon’s grip momentarily loosened, Jeong Taegyu slipped out like a snake. After a few dry coughs, he spoke triumphantly.

“Yes. I understand. It was too brief a meeting. But don’t you remember this child?”

Moving swiftly, Jeong Taegyu embraced Wisoo from behind as if to cover him, obscuring his face. Only his nose and lips were revealed. He paid no mind to the faint resistance of, eu, eu.

“Was Wisoo’s hair this long back then.”

“……”

“Your mother met our Wisoo and heard some good words….”

“Jeong Taegyu.”

Jaekwon’s expression distorted. His eyes became blankly vacant.

“They said she was so heartbroken that she passed away the very next day, right?”

“Jeong Taegyu—!”

He did not want to hear any more. He must not hear any more. That anxiety enveloped Jaekwon like a ghastly chill. Jaekwon screamed as if to kill, and all the blood seemed to drain from Wisoo, leaving him cold. From his voice, Wisoo could tell that Jaekwon had remembered what the Teacher was talking about. And Wisoo, too, recalled a fragment of a scene, frozen like a developed photograph. He remembered himself standing, and the Teacher next to him. The mere fact that the Teacher was by his side made it clear that this memory was not a fond recollection but a tragedy that should never have been revisited.

An unbearable coldness swept over him. Wisoo, like a puppet, chattered his teeth together, tak, tak, as he mumbled.

“N, no.”

Wisoo’s wrist was still being crushed in Jaekwon’s hand. Trusting in that strength, using it as a last resort, Wisoo pulled away from the Teacher’s grasp.

“N, no. Teacher, what are you saying. As if it’s because of m, me, I, I don’t even remember… You’re speaking as if that’s what happened, aren’t you, aren’t you.”

He tried his best to smile, but Wisoo’s expression was on the verge of tears.

“Why, why are you lying….”

His voice, pleading with tear-filled eyes, was desperate. Wisoo’s body trembled violently. It was still summer… but it was so cold.

“Then is it not so, Wisoo-yah.”

Jeong Taegyu looked at Wisoo with a pitying expression. Even while cornered like that, Wisoo stood in front of Jaekwon as if to protect him, a hopeless endeavor.

“Why are you cowardly avoiding responsibility. You clearly said this back then. ‘The lady’s lover is standing next to her, isn’t he?'”

“…Ah.”

Wisoo could not say anything, only moving his lips.
Beonggeut.

“N, no. I never said such a thing….”

“How would you know when you can’t even remember properly.”

The Teacher, his expression turning cold, shook his head.

“Those words were the trigger. Well, I don’t know the full details myself, so Kwak Jaekwon, don’t blame our Wisoo too much.”

Ah. Kwak Jaekwon.

Wisoo whipped his body around.

Jaekwon was looking at him.

This kind of gaze… was a first. Even when he had called him “stepmother” with contempt, his eyes had not been like this.

If it were that kind of revulsion, it would be one thing, but Jaekwon’s gaze was empty and so weakened, and just as much, it was being shaken by everything.

“Kwa, Kwak Jaekwon.”

Wisoo tried to lift the corners of his mouth. But it was no use, only becoming a gloomy, tearful face.

“I, it’s really not true. I never said that.”

“……”

At that moment, the strength in the hand that had been gripping his wrist as if to crush it slowly faded. At that, as if his only lifeline had been cut, all the blood in his body drained downwards, and Wisoo could do nothing. Wisoo, now pale, frantically shook his head.

“It’s true. Kwak Jaekwon, I, I….”

“Right. You wouldn’t remember.”

Jeong Taegyu added another word, pulling him from behind. Wisoo bit his lip hard, feeling as if tears were about to burst forth.

“I, it’s really…. It’s really not me…. Kwak Jaekwon, really, I didn’t, didn’t say such a th….”

Wisoo finally began to shed large teardrops as he pleaded. He pulled at Kwak Jaekwon’s hand, which was not holding him, and rubbed his face against the back of that heartless hand. But no warmth could be felt from Jaekwon’s hand. Like rubbing against a piece of marble, there was no reaction. He was not looking at him. Wisoo, with a soulless look in his eyes, stared blankly at such a Jaekwon.

“…I remember seeing a child. I… thought it was a girl.”

Jaekwon finally opened his mouth.

His vision was blurred and hazy. It had narrowed so much that not even a pinhole could be seen. The strength in the soles of his feet felt like it would give way, making him feel as if he would stagger.

His head throbbed. Jaekwon recalled a child with shaggy hair, smiling thoughtlessly. With pain reaching his eyes, he grunted, eu, and took a step back. Jaekwon, cupping his eyes with his palm, raised a gaze wet with an uncontrollable wound and looked at Wisoo. That one step back became the act of pulling his hand from Wisoo’s forever.

Jaekwon, cupping his eyes with his palm, raised his bloodshot and wounded gaze and looked at Wisoo. Those eyes, fallen into confusion, empty and savagely scratched, looked at him. Wisoo felt as if he had seen a hole larger than the loneliness that had accumulated in his body, layer by layer, as the dead passed through him.

His whole body grew cold. With his face drenched, Wisoo looked down at his own empty hand, bewildered.

“Why….”

Jaekwon muttered, stunned. He staggered and looked as if he would collapse at any moment. From his split lip to his swelling cheekbone, the moment he had fiercely tried to come to him was meaninglessly torn asunder. Kwak Jaekwon did not seem to feel any pain. The shock was too great.

“Really….”

Wisoo barely moved his parted lips. His face was soaked.

“I really didn’t…. I didn’t, didn’t say such a thing….”

“…How would you know.”

Jaekwon, the version of him from his long-neglected and wounded childhood to his youth, asked back as if spitting blood.

“You don’t even… remember. To me… you said that….”

It was a listless voice, the likes of which he had never heard before.

He might as well have condemned him. Jaekwon just muttered helplessly. You don’t know. We both don’t know. Two incomplete beings, riddled with holes. He had wondered if their deficiencies would be filled if they held each other, but it was the opposite.

Wisoo could not say a word, as if he could clearly see Jaekwon’s insides, all torn to bloody shreds.

I loathe you. You ruined me. You think you only ruined me? You ruined Jaekwon, too. You ruined all of our lives, all of it….

Only then did he understand the words Jaekwon’s mother had shouted. He had wanted to believe she was saying them to Kwak Bonyoung. But it seems it was really me…. I really did that to Kwak Jaekwon’s mother….

Along with a ringing in his ears, Wisoo saw a large, crouched man before his eyes. Back then, his eye level had been very low, so the man had seemed like an especially large mountain.

In that moment, a memory that had been lost for a long time in a storm slowly surfaced. The randomly emerging photo fragments connected to become a film, and the film played back with a creak.

Bbig-geok bbig-geok.

‘Are you having a scary dream? You look like you just came from swimming. Why is your body so wet? Then, I’ll take all of this away. Then, then you won’t be scared and you won’t have scary dreams. Because I’m going to take all of this with me.’

He had met Kwak Jaekwon before. The Teacher was right. He had met him, and he had approached him, and without knowing anything, he had hugged him as he crouched with his head buried in his knees, not even looking at him.

‘Don’t be scared.’

Just as he said, Kwak Jaekwon became a person who feared nothing and asked nothing. He had finally become that way, and yet, and yet he was in agony again in front of him. And because of him, no less.

The hand that had reached out desperately fell limply.

“Kwak Jaekwon….”

‘Instead, later… don’t forget me, and you have to come back to get this from me…?’

“You… don’t have scary dreams anymore, do you?”

It seems the beginning and the end were all my fault.

Wisoo’s head dropped deeply.

Jeong Taegyu, realizing that the entire situation had ended just as he had hoped, bloomed a satisfied smile and pulled at Wisoo’s wrist.

The ruined Wisoo was dragged backward. Only his tears dripped onto the floor.

Dduk, dduk.

I shouldn’t have run out at the sound of him returning with food for me. No matter how happy I was to see him, I should have stayed locked in the room and let him leave this house. Then he would never have had to remember the memories he wanted to forget….

“Boys, close the door.”

The front door slammed shut, kwang, along with a cheerful voice that sounded like it was humming a tune.

Even at that moment, Jaekwon kept his head bowed deeply as if time had stopped. He was like someone whose eyes were open but could see nothing.

Kwang, kwang, kwang…. The sound of the door that had closed long ago was heard repeatedly.

In that instant, everything connected in Jaekwon’s mind. As if synapses were reattaching, the child he had thought was a girl, a child of an age where gender was ambiguous, and the words that child had said.

‘Do you have a lot of scary dreams?’

‘So don’t be scared.’

‘Instead, later, don’t forget me….’

‘You have to come back to get this from me, okay?’

“Wait….”

Jaekwon lifted his head with a stunned expression. But no matter how much he looked around, all that was there were the traces of a violent intrusion and an exhausted Hwang Gujo.

“Wisoo….”

“Hey, Jaekwon-ah.”

Hwang Gujo’s voice was not heard.

His world was slowly breaking apart.

Memories he had completely forgotten until now floated up like buoys. They were preserved without having decayed. His childhood to his youth had been in a tomb, and buried along with it was the memory of the very brief meeting with Seon Wisoo.

Jaekwon lifted his head like a man who had lost his mind and took a step forward, aghast. The tip of his foot, as he tried to leave without even putting his shoes on properly, caught on the plastic juice bottle he had bought. Stumbling from it, Jaekwon still moved forward. A piece of glass that had appeared from somewhere on the way cut his foot, but he did not stop. The pain was not felt, and Wisoo’s absence pressed down on him with immense weight.

“Wait. Just a minute. Wisoo-yah. Wisoo-yah, wait….”

There’s no way you did that. And even if you did, that’s something I should ask you directly.

“Wisoo-yah.”

I should hear it from you directly, and whether I interrogate you, get angry because of it, or get hurt, or even if I resent you, that should be a matter between you and me. So….

“Seon Wisoo—!”

Don’t go. My last words to you shouldn’t be that. So just don’t go…. This can’t be our end.

“Seon Wisoo—!”

I don’t have nightmares anymore. You took all my scary things away. You were the one who gave me back my sleep and let me live with my past buried.

“Seon Wisoo—!”

They’re all dead people anyway. So I, I….

“Please, please….”

I just need Seon Wisoo.

I didn’t mean to send you away.

I didn’t mean to hurt you like that.

I love you.

That was all….

Jaekwon shouted until he tasted blood in his throat in the alleyway, where only the smell of exhaust fumes remained.
However, only the thick blood flowing from his foot soaked this silence.