Desires Chapter 7.1 - Forgetful Game

“Teacher, when are you coming again?”

“Mm. After seven nights pass… I will come again then.”

With a gentle smile, Song Yeongin affectionately crinkled the corners of his eyes and made a pinky promise with the little kids.

“You have to come! You can’t lie.”

“I promise. Since we drew a house and a tree today, next time I will teach you how to draw flowers and animals.”

“Not flowers and animals, but people. Can we draw Father Peter?”

“I want to draw a prince and a princess. The teacher looks just like a prince, so I want to draw the teacher.”

“Alright, then let’s draw people next time.”

The homeroom nun at the House of Sky Children had earnestly requested that he not make promises to the children about coming back. She said that children without a mom, a dad, or a family are starved for human affection, so they believe promises of return with all their hearts and count down the days.

Then, if by some chance the promise is broken and the person doesn’t come back, they experience the same disappointment and loss as when they were abandoned by their parents again.

However, even though he knew he shouldn’t, Song Yeongin locked pinkies with the children and promised he would definitely come again. He wanted to meet these children again and teach them how to draw the eyes, nose, and mouth of a person they like. He wanted to teach them the fact that if you draw the face of someone you like one feature at a time with great care, as if tracing it with your hands, you can remember it deep in your heart for a long time without forgetting.

Rather than placing a gift in their hands, he wanted to keep this small but precious promise with the children. The young Song Yeongin had desperately needed something like that as well. The existence of an adult who would not forget a small promise and would be sure to keep it.

The only adult who had kept a promise to him. It was also the only reason why the young Song Yeongin, who had closed his mouth and refused to speak due to his father’s violence, had solely trusted and followed Father Kang Hajong.

Early in the morning, Song Yeongin visited the House of Sky Children with his hands full of snacks and art supplies for the children to use. Today, in place of Father Kang Hajong Peter, Song Yeongin became the one-day art teacher for the Sky Children.

The large-bodied Jang Haeseong and Jang Haeseong’s subordinate helped Song Yeongin and the nun, distributing the snacks they brought to the little kids lined up in order.

It had been a very long time since Song Yeongin had stepped outside Cha Woojin’s private residence where he had been confined, and a very long time since he had opened his heart and smiled so innocently and brightly.

Seeing Song Yeongin, who was bustling with energy as he kindly distributed snacks to the children, a pleased smile also appeared on Jang Haeseong’s lips.

Afterward, Song Yeongin stopped by his sister-in-law’s house to check on her and his nephew. He stopped by an art supply store to pick out the materials he needed, and also took the time to enjoy a cup of coffee while sitting alone in a cafe. He could even walk aimlessly through a park at dusk. He could do whatever he wanted.

Instead, he always had to be accompanied by those two men everywhere.

Cha Woojin had now assigned one more of Jang Haeseong’s subordinates to Song Yeongin, as if Jang Haeseong wasn’t enough. After two guards were attached to him, the security and surveillance became even more severe.

The last time, he had been caught after ditching the two men on the pretext of urgently needing to use the restroom and escaping all the way to the intercity bus terminal. A report of that incident went straight into the ears of Cha Woojin, who was on a business trip in New York.

It had now become completely impossible to shake off the two professional bodyguards who followed him right up to the door of a public restroom outside and watched him meticulously, or to plan an escape. His every move was under Cha Woojin’s feet.

Does he want to raise a pet dog that listens well and can have sex? If that’s the case, there must be plenty of people desperate to sleep with him, even if it’s not me…

Cha Woojin, as always, was spending his days so busy he had no time to breathe, with a string of overseas business trips and a heavy workload. He frequently left this private residence empty, even after locking me up.

‘It’s been so long since I asked him to let me meet Yoon Jioh…’

Ever since he was caught trying to ditch the two guards and run away, Cha Woojin had been pretending not to know about his promise with Song Yeongin to let him meet Yoon Jioh alone, without any wiretapping or surveillance.

At Cha Woojin’s magnificent and luxurious private residence, it was not only the two guards, but everyone who became eyes that followed Song Yeongin.

He had never realized that so many hands were needed to run this grand mansion. The people had no names. If they merely made eye contact with me, the workers in the annex would lower their eyes and bow their heads respectfully, just as Song Yeongin had done to Cha Woojin in the inner chambers.

The professional managers who maintained the exterior and interior of the grand mansion and the endless stream of workers. Among them, the one who took tender care of Song Yeongin was the Yeoju-daek misteress, a woman of gentle and benevolent character.

‘This is someone I care for. Please treat him warmly, like a son. I ask this of you.’

Cha Woojin had introduced me to Yeoju-daek that way.

The woman, with her neatly combed-up and knotted silver hair framing her wrinkled eyes, was a gentle elderly woman with a warm and wise impression.

‘You are the first person the young master has spoken to me about in that way. I will serve you with all my heart and sincerity.’

She said she had attended to Cha Woojin by his side since he was born. She had now left the main family home to become entirely Cha Woojin’s person, responsible for all the household affairs of this mansion, she said.

Song Yeongin could easily guess that she was the only person in this household that he, who was always on guard and distrustful of people, trusted.

Time passed more quickly than he thought. When he was lost in the act of painting, he would often forget the passage of time. It was not so different from the times he spent transferring the pain after his mother’s death onto the canvas.

Song Yeongin did not know any way to make the excruciating pain or intrusive thoughts disappear. Only, other than transferring them into his painting…

A new color of pain that came in a different way brought Song Yeongin a struggle that he could not endure without painting again.

In the end, having been deprived of his job and imprisoned in Cha Woojin’s place of exile, Song Yeongin had no choice but to pick up a brush again like before. If his mother’s death was darkness, this was a stormy thunderstorm. A thundering rain that soaked his entire body in blood.

He applied another layer of linseed oil to the dried oil painting. He had done the underdrawing when he was in the rooftop apartment. He had to finish this painting within the deadline, somehow, before he met Yoon Jioh. Desperate jealousy, resignation, and futile anger had to become the foundation for this painting, one way or another.

The studio Cha Woojin had prepared for Song Yeongin on the first floor of the private residence was situated next to a cozy garden and a long, beautiful pond at the back of the mansion. The Yeoju-daek misteress kindly informed him that in the summer, the pond fills with water lilies and lotus flowers, making the garden a spectacular sight.

The studio, which was spacious to an excessive degree, was designed based on the advice of a professional painter. The studio, along with perfect work facilities, was equipped with the highest quality art supplies, no less than an art store. It was meticulously furnished with the kind of sophisticated lighting design by a discerning architect and state-of-the-art ventilation systems one might only see in a high-end art gallery.

A staircase was installed in the studio, directly connecting to Song Yeongin’s bedroom upstairs so he could lie down at any time. However, Song Yeongin almost never went up to the bedroom, except to wash. He spent most of his days and nights sleeping on the sofa in this studio.

He purposely did not go up to the bedroom, and instead slept on the spacious sofa in a corner of the studio, buried in the smell of paint and oily turpentine. It was easier for him to fall asleep that way when he was alone.

The only people who came to the studio were the guards and the Yeoju-daek misteress, who brought his meals at mealtimes. For Song Yeongin, who rarely ate, she would often bring a fragrant and light porridge made with wild pine mushrooms, because that was the only thing Song Yeongin would touch and have a few spoonfuls of.

“You’ve gotten much thinner and more gaunt than when you first came. Even if you don’t have an appetite, please have a few spoonfuls.”

“The director’s engagement ceremony……”

“……”

“It’s the day after tomorrow… right?”

No matter how they covered his eyes and ears, there was no way Song Yeongin would not know about it.

It was the engagement ceremony of Shin Hwayeon, the daughter of the next president and a top actress, and Cha Woojin, the next crown prince of the Woosung Group. A dazzling actress and a handsome third-generation chaebol receiving the full spotlight of public opinion.

Even if he wiretapped and confined me, he couldn’t stop me from seeing short reports in a small news window on my phone.

‘A handsome man and a beautiful woman who fell in love at first sight, the prelude to a love match marriage.’

At the headline of the engagement ceremony report, which was sensationalized like a romance of the century, Song Yeongin let out a hollow, scornful laugh into the air.

The engagement, said to be a modest affair with only a few immediate family members in secret, seemed to be using the public’s inflated fantasy, deliberately focusing on the couple’s fateful love story and decorating the main news daily, drawing intense public interest.

Her father was the most likely next presidential candidate as long as there were no surprises, and his maternal grandfather was the owner of a major media company, so the inside story of the reports was understandable. They were trying to hide the fact that it was a political marriage as much as possible and appeal to the fact that it was a love match.

The romantic love story of the two would satisfy the vanity of the gossip-loving public, and the persistent interest and admiration for the beautiful couple would soon lead to votes in the presidential election.

The press photos of Cha Woojin and Shin Hwayeon looked like a scene from a movie. The attention pouring onto the two beautiful people was not just hot, but like a soaring flame. It felt like he was the only person in the world who wasn’t celebrating the fruition of this beautiful couple’s union. Which meant the only one who was in the wrong was also just one person, me.

All I have to do is get out of the way…….

“…The engagement ceremony… it’s the day after tomorrow, right?”

At Song Yeongin’s repeated question of whether the engagement ceremony was the day after tomorrow, Yeoju-daek averted her gaze. She held Song Yeongin’s gaunt hand and said.

“The people I have served in this household for generations all had loveless, political marriages. The young master was also brainwashed and raised that way since he was young, so he is just fulfilling his duty as a son of this family… so please don’t be too heartbroken.”

Her words, far from being a comfort, ignited a spark in Song Yeongin’s chest. It meant that even in Yeoju-daek’s eyes, he looked like his pitiful concubine who was grieving his engagement and refusing all food and drink.

He wanted to throw a tantrum and demand they bring Cha Woojin here right now. If he slit his wrist with a knife, would he come? Would he then stop the engagement… no, this marriage? Then, Song Yeongin gave up in vain.

I don’t want to make such a scene just because of someone like you, Cha Woojin. I was someone who had endured my mother’s suicide, my brother’s death, my father’s violence, rape, gang rape, and my younger sister’s resentment. To do that would make my own endurance, which had withstood the pains of the past, seem far too pathetic.

He wanted to stab to death the self who had briefly dreamed a foolish delusion, wondering what it would be like to live as his lover.

Just watching his engagement, not even his wedding, was as painful as having his heart gouged out, as having his living flesh sliced away… to tell him to live like this while watching his marriage and the birth of his children in the future was absurd.

Is that man’s goal to mutilate me and lock me up in this house? If so, then as you wished, it was a great success.

His face was buried in a stiff collar. The unique, cool and refreshing scent brushed the tip of his nose. A cold touch lifted me and climbed the stairs. He was not unaware of who was holding him, but Song Yeongin purposely kept his eyes closed, pretending to be asleep.

Cha Woojin effortlessly lifted the body, which was noticeably more gaunt and thinner than the last time he had seen it, and strode up the stairs with his long legs. He carefully laid Song Yeongin’s body on the neatly arranged, pure white bedsheets.

Cha Woojin stood beside the bed, took off his suit jacket, and skillfully loosened the dark silk tie that was tightly cinched around his neck. The man, who placed the platinum metal watch he had unfastened from his wrist on the nightstand, muttered in a low voice.

“I know you’re not asleep.”

“……”

The man reached out his hand over the thin t-shirt Song Yeongin was wearing. He fumbled with the clothing, tracing the protruding ribs. The large hand, with its visible tendons and thick knuckles, then traveled down the slender waist. The gaunt waist was cinched in so tightly that only skin and bone remained.

“I heard you’ve been holed up painting all day, not eating anything?”

Cha Woojin grabbed the noticeably gaunt, small face. Under the soft lighting, the elegant eyes slowly, gradually opened. The neat and delicate features that filled the haggard face formed an expression so devastatingly sharp and sorrowful.

Perhaps due to malnutrition, the red lips were cracked and split, with blood welling up. The unsettlingly red and plump lips barely moved, forming small words.

“Let… me go.”

To Song Yeongin’s abrupt words, he replied coolly.

“To where.”

“To a place without you…”

“And if I let you go?”

Cha Woojin unfastened the metal cufflinks at the end of his sleeves and stared down at Song Yeongin coldly with chilly eyes.

“You hide away and live somewhere without me, and then what if you catch the eye of some other son of a bitch and get assaulted?”

“……”

“Are you telling me to just stand by and watch whether you get raped or gang-raped again?”

The straight jawline and sharp tip of his nose chided me.

“No matter where you go, you’re past the point of living quietly like a dead mouse. If you had been like that from the start, you wouldn’t have caught my eye in the first place.”

Meeting the arrogant eyes that were glaring at him after several days, an uncontrollable anger surged within him. Song Yeongin let out a long, pitiful breath that had been deeply suppressed in his chest. That trembling breath was so heartbreakingly cold and beautiful.

“The day after tomorrow… is your engagement ceremony, isn’t it?”

“……”

“The whole world is buzzing about it, were you trying to keep it a secret only from me? Or… does someone like me… not even have the right to know?”

Cha Woojin tilted his stiff head back. His languid face, drenched in exhaustion, stared askew at Song Yeongin and answered.

“It’s just an engagement, not a marriage. I had no choice but to move up the engagement because of that woman’s whining. Only by proceeding with this engagement can I somehow buy more time.”

Song Yeongin spat out his words, glaring as if spitting on that nonchalant face.

“You bastard…”

Cha Woojin strode closer.

He caressed the gentle and soft cheek of Song Yeongin, who was spitting out unfitting curses with a devastatingly cold and sorrowful face. The fine hairs standing on end could be felt against the man’s rough fingertips.

Still like a child.

Song Yeongin fiercely pushed Cha Woojin’s hand away.

“Let go of me…! I don’t care if you get married, or engaged, or have a child.”

“……”

“But don’t lock me up like this and force me to watch it. Why can’t I even leave on my own terms?!”

“……”

“I’m no different from a dog you’re raising. Why don’t you just get a dog leash and put it around my neck and tie me up?”

The man’s coolly drawn eyes narrowed.

“If you want, I’ll do just that.”

Song Yeongin slapped Cha Woojin’s cheek with all his might.

‘Slap—!’

It made a sharp sound, but Cha Woojin didn’t even blink an eye. Near the brow bone, where a dark shadow was cast, the wound I had made by tearing his skin last time was healing. I had hoped it wouldn’t heal. I had hoped that the scar would remain vivid on the face that would enter the engagement ceremony, like evidence of his violation against me.

Song Yeongin began to beat the hard, iron-like body. He struck the imposing physique that seemed ready to burst through the taut shirt. He hit his neck, slapped his cheek, and struck his broad chest. Cha Woojin silently and quietly just took the blows from Song Yeongin.

“Matteo, or James Han, or you, there’s no difference to me. In fact, the one who’s making me suffer more is you, Cha Woojin…”

Vile toxins that should never cling to those sacred and clear eyes were present. Hatred and jealousy, a shallow immaturity wanting to hurt the other person. And, lust surging through cunning anger, a ticklish and shallow sexual desire seeping through the prim face… Those sexual signals sent by Song Yeongin made the area below Cha Woojin’s waist tingle heavily.

Cha Woojin seized the gaunt wrists that were hitting and striking him with a single motion of force.

“Stop it. If you keep hitting me and getting angry with that sulky, upset face, it just feels like you’re stimulating me in that way.”

“……”

“Do you want to do it?”

He asked, staring intently at me with his deep, proud eyes. At Cha Woojin’s question, Song Yeongin asked back as if he had misheard.

“……What?”

“Wanna do it? I’m dying to do it. I am.”

Cha Woojin spouted nonsense with a shameless face, without blinking an eye.

The engagement ceremony was the day after tomorrow. Song Yeongin was horrified that the man, who was set to have his engagement ceremony with Shin Hwayeon the day after tomorrow, was saying he was dying to do that act with me. Song Yeongin, dumbfounded, asked again.

“Are you asking me if I want to have sex right now?”

“Why?! Weren’t you throwing a tantrum, begging me to fuck you?”

The man who had been pressing down on the violently struggling Song Yeongin instantly grabbed his body and subdued him with rough force.

“Cha Woojin, I think you’re really crazy…! You’re just like an animal…! No, you’re worse than an animal! Let go…! I said let go of me…!”

The man began to unbutton his shirt. Through the opened shirt, firm muscles and a sensual frame were revealed.

“I know. But there’s nothing I can do… I can’t let you go.”

“……”

“I can’t stand to see you under another bastard again, letting him use your mouth, letting him use your hole.”

Cha Woojin fumbled with Song Yeongin’s chest and reached for the pants that were hanging suggestively on his hips.

“I won’t do it, let go, I don’t want to…! I said I don’t want to…!”

“Are you planning to make me stain my hands with that filthy blood again?”

“……”

“Catching the bastards who did those terrible things to you, burying them, and killing them isn’t enough to cool me down, I’m still not satisfied…. If I let you go and you get assaulted again?! Are you telling me to repeat that act again?”

Cha Woojin held onto the slender body that was resisting violently. When he pulled the white t-shirt up to the neck, a pale and obscene chest was revealed under the low light. The nipples, of a red and pretty color, stood out sensuously in a pointed shape on the thin body.

Cha Woojin stared intently, tracing the seductive body line that was revealed suggestively, emaciated along its beautiful frame.

“Did you want to escape from me that badly?”

“……”

“So much so that you would ditch the two guys I attached to you and scheme to run away empty-handed without a penny, using the excuse of going to the restroom?! Your nephew, your sister-in-law, your younger sister… did you not see any of them?!!”

“Ah, ugh…! Let go of this…!”

“Can’t you tell right from wrong?! Right now, the only thing in your head is the thought of running away from me, isn’t it?!”

I can’t breathe for even a minute, a second. I can’t stand it. I was someone who was inured to enduring and bearing things. Why, for God’s sake, why… why isn’t it working?

I can’t endure it. I can’t bear it. It’s strange…. This was too strange. With a thirst that burned my whole body like a person parched in the middle of a desert, I couldn’t come to my senses.

Since childhood, I knew the feeling of misfortune and pain well. It was extremely familiar. However, this was fundamentally different from the bleak pains I had silently endured and tolerated. Pain, if you endure it, eventually becomes bearable, but this thirst that felt like it would burn me up was unbearable no matter how much I tried to endure it. The cause of this desperate thirst that was setting my whole body on fire was Cha Woojin. This was all because I wanted him. It was because I was foolishly still unable to let him go.

“You said you didn’t care if I resented you for the rest of my life.”

“Right.”

“You don’t care if I hate you forever? Even if I never smile at you or talk to you again, like an emotionless, inanimate object… even then, you really don’t care?!”

“……”

Tears clinging to the corners of his red, wet eyes trickled down his sorrowful cheeks. Cha Woojin gazed for a long while at the face that was crying, limpid and wet. The sight of him crying had a knack for making a person ache and hurt down to their toes.

“Let… me go…”

“……”

Song Yeongin said, beating his chest.

“I can’t keep watching things like this and pretend I’m okay, I can’t live like this…! I can’t stand it…!”

Cha Woojin urged him sternly, as if speaking to a child.

“Endure it. Just until I have a child, and get a divorce.”

“Ugh, sob…! Let me go… please…”

The man’s elegantly drawn eyes closed gently. He clenched his straight jaw and exhaled a very long, low breath, like a beast growling from within.

The man was silent for a long time. Then, at the end of the silence, he quietly opened his mouth.

“I didn’t intend to go this far.”

“……”

“But, I’ve come to think that I need to draw a line so that you can’t have any more foolish thoughts.”

“……”

“Stop wasting useless emotions, and learn your place and resign yourself to being by my side.”

Cha Woojin said, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring at Song Yeongin with menacing eyes. His deep, jet-black pupils glinted like a wild animal’s in the darkness.

“You know that Father Kang Hajong is my maternal uncle, right?”

“……”

“Father Kang Hajong is the son of my maternal grandfather, Chairman Kang Hoeryeong. He left the Hajeong Group, turned his back on the family, and became a priest.”

His moist, startled eyes widened. Song Yeongin was so surprised he couldn’t close his mouth for a long time. How could I have possibly known that Father Kang Hajong was Cha Woojin’s maternal uncle?

“I… didn’t know…”

Cha Woojin grabbed Song Yeongin’s straight shoulders.

“Listen carefully. It’s too early to be surprised yet.”

“……”

“There were more than one or two suspicious things, so I secretly ordered Park Seongjae to conduct a DNA test on you and Father Kang Hajong.”

Song Yeongin held his breath in that terrible silence.

“They said there’s a 99.99% probability that you are Kang Hajong’s biological child. I can show you the test results right now if you want.”

Song Yeongin’s pupils dilated widely as he held his breath.

“…Don’t… say such strange things…. What… kind of insane thing are you saying to me right now……”

The transparent eyes, which had lost their focus and were trembling, were filled with fear. Song Yeongin couldn’t even breathe properly. His panting breaths, like someone hyperventilating, were so precarious and irregular.

“Kang Hajong is your biological father.”

Cha Woojin said coolly, as if talking about someone else.

“Which means, you and I are cousins…”

The flawlessly straight face uttered those words nonchalantly, without even blinking an eye.

A long, long, pitch-black silence followed.

Song Yeongin, who was slowly blinking his neat eyes, couldn’t form any words. His face was blank, like someone in shock.

It was shocking enough that Kang Hajong was his biological father, but to hear that he was cousins with Cha Woojin at the same time, it was understandable.

“…My… biological father… my real father… you and I are…”

Unable to form a sentence, Song Yeongin trembled with his slender neck and thin shoulders, frightened like a timid child.

“Kang Hajong seemed completely unaware that you are his biological child…”

“……”

“Seeing that he helped you even so, it seems blood really does call to blood. Or, maybe he wandered around you for so many years because he couldn’t forget your mother.”

“…Is this a joke…? …Don’t lie…. To me… why are you telling me… such a… ridiculous… story…”

Cha Woojin spouted the crazy words calmly with a cool and intellectual face that looked like it wouldn’t bleed a single drop even if stabbed.

“I don’t really care if we are cousins by blood… What about you?”

Even the corners of his upturned lips seemed to be smiling faintly.

“……”

“Why…? Does it not sit well with you that I’m your cousin? Does it kill your affection for me?”

Song Yeongin’s face, unable to produce an answer, contorted like a crying child on the verge of tears. He stammered, unable to even form a proper sentence.

“Is… that… right now… is that… important?!”

“While proceeding with the DNA test on you and Kang Hajong… I found out while digging into your background thoroughly that Kang Hajong is not Chairman Kang Hoeryeong’s biological son.”

Song Yeongin couldn’t quite understand what Cha Woojin was saying… no, what he was spouting. His head was dizzy and his ears were ringing. He couldn’t even breathe.

“Kang Hajong is an adopted son. My maternal grandfather, who was a longtime friend of the genius painter Yoo Hyeonmok who died young, adopted the newborn baby who had lost both parents and became an orphan.”

“……”

“It seems it was kept a strict secret within the family. Father Kang Hajong left the Hajeong Group and gave up his inheritance because he knew everything.”

“……”

“Rest assured. Even though we are cousins in the public eye, you and I don’t share a single drop of blood.”

“What on earth…! I don’t understand… a single thing… you’re saying…!”

Cha Woojin grabbed the tip of Song Yeongin’s slender chin, who was turning his head and looking away to avoid the situation, and by force, made him look at his own cold-blooded face.

“Listen. I’m not finished talking yet.”

“……”

“If you continue to try to leave me, I plan to register you into the Hajeong Group family and hold onto you, even if it’s through blood ties.”

The small face, held by the man’s force, was dazed and terrified. Like a deer whose nape was bitten by a wild animal, he trembled… his slender nape and the transparent eyes welling with water were shaking.

“A marriage can just end if you break up… but what about this? Blood is thicker than water, they say.”

Cha Woojin wore a nonchalant smile.

In fact, he was glad that Song Yeongin was his cousin. Not only were they not direct blood relatives, but he thought it was a golden opportunity to unlawfully bind Song Yeongin within his fence for life if he used his head and tied him up with various pretexts.

The delicately drawn face shook its head within the man’s hand.

“…Scary… Sob…! Sob… You… you’re a really scary person…! You seem crazy…! You’re really not in your right mind…!”

‘Scary?’

That was rather what Cha Woojin wanted. For you to be so scared that you wisely learn to resign yourself.

“Kang Hajong still has an unresolved stake in Hajeong. If my uncle doesn’t return to the family, I plan to make you inherit it.”

“……”

“Doesn’t that sound fun?”

Song Yeongin let tears fall from his bloodshot, wet eyes and let out a hollow laugh like an empty shell into the air. Every time he beautifully folded the corners of his sorrowful eyes, pitiful tears silently trickled down his cheeks.

“Cha Woojin. You find this fun…?”

“……”

“Is it fun playing with me?!! You crazy bastard! I’m asking if you find this fun…!!!”

On the game board he has laid out, I am a piece on the game board.

“It depends on what choice you make. If you want to let Father Kang Hajong know that you are his biological child, then try to run away.”

“……”

“And you will become my cousin. From the closest possible position, I will not shy away from any means or methods to prevent you from escaping, and I will bind you with any semblance of legal force, whether it’s through loopholes or legal means, and hold you tight by my side.”

Song Yeongin crumbled in an instant.

He grabbed the man’s arm and knelt down. He cried and wailed like a child, telling him not to do it.

“Don’t do it…! You can’t do that…! Sob… stop it…! Please…! Huh?!”

Even after hearing your words, I don’t know what they mean… no, I don’t want to know… because Cha Woojin kept saying strange things with a cool and sane face… because it was so scary… Song Yeongin had to cling to his arm and beg him not to do it.

“Stop crying. I don’t think it would be so bad for us to become cousins and screw around together… Why?”

At him spouting more scary nonsense, Song Yeongin wailed.

“Sob… Do we really have to go this far… sob… to stick together and screw around like this?! Do we really… have to go that far?!”

Cha Woojin soothed the trembling Song Yeongin, who was crying his eyes out, and laid him on the bed with a gentle touch. As he spread Song Yeongin’s legs, he murmured in a low voice.

“Right… haa, who knew I’d go so crazy over you that I’d even sell out my bloodline.”

I gave you the chance to choose several times, saying I would give you everything you wanted. But you chose nothing and only schemed to run away from me.

This is all because there is nothing you want.

If you had greed, I could just give you money, and if you had ambition, I could just give you honor, but for people like you who want nothing, there is no other way but to threaten to take away what is precious to you.

The most difficult and uncontrollable people to handle were those who were without greed and wanted nothing. They were prone to making the innocent party into a shameless villain.

In order to protect your sacred, noble sublimity and child-like innocence from being defiled… in the end, I myself must volunteer to become the villain.

As Cha Woojin roughly threw off his shirt, his fiercely angry physique was revealed. He buried his straight and sharp face in Song Yeongin’s pale thighs, in that baby-like white and soft skin. He placed Song Yeongin’s pretty, spread-apart legs on his own broad shoulders.

Cha Woojin grabbed and spread the pretty buttocks, which were still plump and rounded in contrast to the gauntly thin body. Seeing the sensually sleek buttocks, blood rushed down below, hardening like crazy.

The sharp tip of his nose buried itself between the butt cheeks. The man’s skillful tongue licked the pink mucous membrane, which was clean without a single speck, and burrowed into the hole.

“Ah, ah! Ah, don’t do it…! Don’t do that…! Ugh, I don’t want to… hngh…! It’s dirty…!”

“Shh, stay still.”

The high, hard bridge of his nose digging and burrowing into the hole and mucous membrane. The unfamiliar sensation of the tip of his tongue. From the shame of having his private parts licked by the man’s tongue, Song Yeongin’s body trembled and convulsed pathetically.

Cha Woojin let out a low, suppressed laugh from between Song Yeongin’s plump buttocks.

The trauma that had developed after he was almost poisoned to death at the young age of eight had resulted in a deep-rooted mysophobia.

Objects that had touched his lips or hands once went straight into the trash can. Whether it was something to eat, wear, or take, the suspicion that anything that touched his body might contain poison led to a psychopathological revulsion for dirty things.

This pathological mysophobia, which extended even to people, was no different from his attitude towards objects. He had only ever taken pure and clean bodies that had never been touched by others. He didn’t even have an interest in dirty bodies that had been toyed with by others. Just as he threw away soiled objects, he who never even slept with someone he had slept with once, that person, me,

‘Fuck, I’m licking a man’s asshole with my tongue…’

That he didn’t feel it was dirty even while doing this. Far from being dirty, the thought that it was lovely because he was impatient and anxious from not being able to have it… it was clear that he was crazy and out of his mind, just as Song Yeongin had said.

“Haa, do you hate me that much?! I’m selling out my own bloodline because you’re so pretty, and I’m even licking your asshole…”

“Sob…! Don’t do it…! It’s dirty…! Uuungh, I don’t want to. I don’t want to…!”

“…Yeongin, I’m having a really fucking hard time, so please, just look at me.”

Cha Woojin whispered lowly into the space between his legs, almost inaudibly.

Song Yeongin heard the man’s words clearly. The tip of the man’s tongue licked his wrinkled mucous membrane and perineum. The endearing hole, quivering and getting wet with saliva, was desperately wanting the man, begging to be pounded. The breath that shattered in the air, coming from deep within his lungs, was so hot it felt like it would explode.

Everything was decided from the very beginning. Even if I try to escape, I can’t escape.

So this is what an ill-fated connection is.