Desires Chapter 9.1

The highlight of tonight’s party, the ‘Met Gala’ charity auction, presented as a collaboration between the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the event organizers, began amidst the cheers of the invited crowd.

Song Yeongin and James Han moved to the hotel’s charity auction hall, to a dinner table for VIPs where CEOs were gathered.

The charity auction was swarmed by the press, who were there in the midst of a media frenzy to report on the record-breaking donation amount. The figures of New York’s high society thoroughly enjoyed the media’s attention, showing off the splendid return of their wealth.

A piercing dizziness and headache washed over him.

Clutching his left wrist, Song Yeongin complained of pain. His wrist was stinging and aching unbearably. He needed more painkillers.

“I am not feeling well… I would like to go back now, if you don’t mind.”

However, James Han, unlike his usual self, did not easily permit him to leave despite Song Yeongin’s earnest plea.

“We still have a schedule to attend together. I cannot send you back first, Mr. Song Yeongin. For now, follow Aiden to get some rest for a while, and then come back here.”

Was James Han still deeply immersed in his act? He was behaving as if he were a real fiancé who was actually getting married to him. But Song Yeongin did not even have the energy to fight back. It felt as if he had been completely drained of all strength.

As Song Yeongin stood up from the dinner table, he staggered, and Aiden supported him, guiding the way.

Everyone was preoccupied with attending the charity auction show, the highlight of the night. The photo call set up in front of the event hall was packed with celebrities striking poses, and the venue, crowded with reporters and a throng of people, was extremely busy and clamorous.

Aiden supported Song Yeongin’s lithe, staggering body and exited the noisy auction show floor. The two of them took the guest elevator and entered a hotel lounge located at the end of the hallway, one floor above the auction hall.

This magnificent lounge, prepared for the relaxation of the guests, was completely empty as everyone had gone to the charity auction, the highlight of the gala party.

Thanks to being far from the main hall, this place was perfectly shielded from the noise of the event. Because of that, he felt his mind and body becoming much more stable. Song Yeongin leaned his exhausted body against the lounge’s sofa, which was as plush as a bed.

“Yeongin, tell me what you need. I will go get it for you.”

“It hurts…. I’m so dizzy… My headache is severe, and my body is trembling. My wrist hurts so much I can’t stand it. I think I need more painkillers.”

“James is probably not sending you back first because he wants to introduce you to Paul Soros. The reason James attended today’s event is to present you, a painter, to the great master of the art world, Paul Soros, and make a good impression.”

James Han’s politics or diplomacy could not possibly be important to Song Yeongin.

“Rest here. I’ll go get some medicine…. Contact me if there’s a problem.”

Aiden quickly left the lounge.

Song Yeongin let out a deep sigh into the air, his cheeks flushed red from a rising fever.

“…Haaah….”

In truth, the headache was an excuse. He could not control his emotions.

Having come face to face with Cha Woojin, Song Yeongin had to confront, one by one, the unfamiliar feelings and desires tangled within him—jealousy, hatred, and a swirling resentment. His limbs trembled to the point of nausea. It felt as if he would die right then or be ruined soon.

He did not want to stay here for even a single moment.

Song Yeongin recalled those cold, cold-blooded eyes that had gone completely frigid.

‘My sincerest congratulations on… your marriage.’

‘You son of a bitch…!’

His proud and pathetic face, with cheeks flushed red, was listless with his eyes closed, leaning back against the sofa. Only his precarious, panting breaths scattered beautifully over his bright red, plump lips in the empty air.

Very soft and faint classical music was playing in the lounge.

It was a quiet and desolate space where nothing could be heard but the sound of his own breathing. But at that moment, he suddenly sensed the unfamiliar presence of someone approaching.

Song Yeongin flinched and opened his closed eyes wide.

As he slowly lifted his tear-moistened eyes, he came face to face with a man who was standing and looking down at him as he leaned against the sofa.

His heart, which had been throbbing and sending out blood as if stabbed with a knife, stopped, as if its beat had ceased forever in that spot.

Song Yeongin abruptly covered his face with his bandaged left hand. Because he did not want his chaotic emotions to be discovered, because he did not want that man to see this pathetic jealousy and resentment….

The man’s low voice echoed through the magnificent, medieval-style domed interior.

“How did your wrist get into that state.”

Cha Woojin grabbed Song Yeongin’s wrist, which was tightly wrapped in a bandage, and pulled away the arm that was covering his face.

At the touch of the man’s hand on his wrist, Song Yeongin could not hold back a moan of pain.

“Hk…, It hurts! I said it hurts…! Let go of this!”

He had not used any force. He had simply held his wrist, yet Song Yeongin shuddered and writhed in pain.

It was only then that Cha Woojin seemed to realize the gravity of the situation. He had grasped the wrist to assess the severity of Song Yeongin’s injury, and Cha Woojin recognized that it was by no means an ordinary wound.

Cha Woojin let out a low breath to reassure Song Yeongin and carefully let go of his wrist.

Groaning in pain, his red, tear-streaked face looked up at that brazen and arrogant face.

Song Yeongin wanted to punch Cha Woojin right at this moment. He wanted to hit that man with all his might until his anger subsided, on that hard neck with its fiercely attached muscles and on his broad chest, just as he had in the past.

A crisp, classic black evening suit without a single wrinkle. The man, standing with his sensual and sharp body held taut, silently looked down from above at him leaning on the sofa.

Song Yeongin did not avoid that piercing, aggressive gaze. He met it head-on, raising his eyes and glaring fiercely at Cha Woojin. He looked like a baby wildcat with its fur on end, on guard.

Then, he muttered in a low voice.

“Are you really, planning to marry that bastard?”

Song Yeongin swallowed the feeling that was flaring up inside him like a fire.

“What does that have to do with you…! Ah, hht…!”

Before his answer was even finished, Cha Woojin forcefully pulled him to his feet. He unceremoniously dragged him by his uninjured right arm across the lounge.

“Let go of me…! I said let go…!”

Cha Woojin paid him no mind and dragged him into the men’s room, which was located at the far end of the lounge. He locked the heavy door with the latch.

Cha Woojin pinned him tightly against the wall. Bound, Song Yeongin trembled as he glared at Cha Woojin.

“…What, are you doing… what on earth…!”

“And you… what on earth are you doing?”

A frigid gaze, fiercely curved, swept down his body.

Cha Woojin threw off the mask he had been wearing so firmly. His cool, long eyes narrowed. He was looking for an opening. He was looking at him as if he would rain down kisses the very moment he showed even a sliver of vulnerability.

“…Marriage?! Because you want to screw me over?”

“……”

His prim, reddened eyes twitched. His plump, red lips were panting, exhaling an unsettling breath. Cha Woojin pressed his sharp nose toward him and interrogated him.

“Do you like being with that bastard?!”

“…Haah!”

Song Yeongin rolled his eyes as if in disbelief.

“So much that you can’t even remember all the times you rolled around with me?! Don’t you remember clinging to my embrace and cooing like a kitten all night?!”

His coolly drawn, long eyes curved debaucherously.

“What about when I licked your asshole? You were panting and trembling, dying of pleasure… Don’t tell me, you don’t remember that either?!”

Song Yeongin scoffed at the handsome face.

“Don’t… talk bullshit.”

“I was an idiot to delude myself that it wasn’t your real intention to be with that guy…! That that son of a bitch must have pulled some trick.”

“……”

“Tell me. Are you so happy with that old bastard that you could pass out and go into convulsions?! Huh?!!”

He could not understand what he was saying.

It was just that, Song Yeongin hated Cha Woojin to the point of madness. He wanted to tear him up and scratch him. He wanted to hurt him. He had to admit that he had truly lost his mind.

Because he liked that man so much….

Because just looking at him like this made his heart flutter so much that he was getting wet down below. Because his heart was aching to the point of madness and his whole body desperately wanted that man… because, as James Han said, he was in heat like a dog. That was why he was doing something like this. Shameless enough to spout such crazy nonsense.

“I do like it…. I feel like I could die from happiness! That is why I am even getting married to him….”

Cha Woojin sneered coldly, his long eyes narrowing.

“Lies….”

The man grabbed the small face, with its red-tipped nose, in his large hand. Cha Woojin’s gaze swept over the face that looked unusually youthful with the refreshed hairstyle, agonizingly and very slowly.

His straight, sharp nose buried itself in Song Yeongin’s clear cheek. Like a madman, Cha Woojin sucked on the plumply prominent philtrum and the red upper lip. In an instant, Cha Woojin’s tongue thrust in. Unable to breathe, Song Yeongin hiccupped inside his mouth.

He himself found it absurd. Even as Cha Woojin’s tongue pushed inside, greedily violating and penetrating his mucous membranes, even as he wrapped an arm around his waist and pressed his heavy, erect penis, risen in anger, tightly against his lower body…

He was not pushing this man away.

Because I did not dislike it. Because I liked it so much, because it was so blissful, I did not even resist.

Song Yeongin received Cha Woojin’s incoming breath just as it was. The man’s cool scent rushed in, almost to the point of suffocation. Cha Woojin pulled his lips away, which had been sucking wetly and making sounds, and said to Song Yeongin.

“From the moment we first ran into each other here, to the entire time you were standing next to that damn son of a bitch, and until now… shall I tell you how you have been looking at me.”

“……”

The man’s fierce hand instantly dug deep into the inside of his thigh.

“You wanted to do this with me, didn’t you….”

“Ugh, hk…! I never… did!”

“Lies…. While clinging to that guy’s side, you stared at me as if you were begging me to kiss you.”

“Heuu…! I didn’t….”

Cha Woojin caressed the small, pure face he held in his large hand. He looked at the red, plump lips glistening with saliva and said.

“Do not get married.”

Now I do not even know what it was I ran away from him for. Did I really want to leave this man?

“Come to me.”

“……”

“Yeongin-ah…. Choose me again, by yourself.”

“……”

“You stop me. If you just come back to me. Then I will just stop everything right here too.”

Song Yeongin had to ask the man back with a look of bewilderment.

“What… are you talking about?”

“I will stop here. If I can just get you back, I will give up everything, the marriage, the succession, all of it.”

I finally remembered why I ran away from that man. It was because you were someone who should not have to give up anything because of me. In order to get out of your blessed life.

Suddenly, James Han’s threat came to mind.

‘Fine. Then how about this. If you, Mr. Song Yeongin, leave me and go back to Cha Woojin, I intend to bring Cha Woojin down in one way or another.’

One more reason had been added for why he could never return to this man. Song Yeongin pushed away Cha Woojin’s solid chest, which was embracing his body, with all his might, coldly.

“…Give it up?!”

“……”

“Don’t talk such crazy nonsense….”

“……”

“After doing that for the past year, you still don’t understand what I’m saying?!”

“…Haah….”

“I told you until the very end. Please don’t give up anything because of me…! I begged you….”

‘If it’s here in America, not on Korean soil…. I can disguise it as the work of an armed terrorist group and kill him without anyone ever knowing.’

Now we had fallen into a deeper abyss. If I go to Cha Woojin, now James Han will not stand by idly and will put Cha Woojin in danger.

He had threatened me using Cha Woojin. He said he could kill him. He said he could interfere with his life, hold him back, and ruin his future. He said he would not send me back to Korea.

No, Song Yeongin absolutely could not let James Han find out about the fact that he was with this man in this place right now. Everything would come to nothing.

“Aiden, no, the guard will come. Go back…! I said go back…!”

Cha Woojin frowned, his dark eyebrows knitting together. He scoffed in vain, his cool eyes curving.

“With such a pretty and angelic face….”

“……”

“Ha! Damn it, how the hell are you made, to be such a stuffy, stubborn mule?!”

“……”

“How much more do you want to torment a person, huh?!”

In any case, right now… right now, he had to send him back immediately. No matter what, he could not get caught being here with this man.

It was right at that moment.

A presence was heard from outside the door. Song Yeongin came face to face with the embodiment of the fear he was most afraid of right now.

‘I will be discovered. He will get hurt.’

Having been under James Han’s protection for the past year, more than anyone else, he himself knew best how persistent and powerful a man he was.

Song Yeongin recalled his monstrous armed soldiers who were heavily armed with firearms and moved him around every time. In truth, he had never dreamed he would be to this extent. James Han was closely connected with the mafia and Mexico’s drug cartels. The power and authority he held in the United States far transcended Song Yeongin’s crude imagination. No matter how much of a Cha Woojin he was….

Aiden’s voice shouting from outside the door could be heard.

“Yeongin…! I brought the painkillers.”

With a ‘Shh…!’ sound, Cha Woojin covered Song Yeongin’s wet lips. He pulled Song Yeongin’s body into his arms from behind.

Held in the man’s strong and broad embrace, Song Yeongin’s lithe body trembled.

While holding him from behind, Cha Woojin deftly began to search Song Yeongin’s pockets. As if conducting a search, he quickly felt his hips and went through his back pants pockets to his jacket pockets, and soon found Song Yeongin’s cell phone. In the blink of an eye, Cha Woojin turned off the power on Song Yeongin’s phone.

It would be a problem if a cell phone were to ring in the quiet lounge. It was an action taken out of concern that the person outside the door might attempt to call Song Yeongin.

Aiden, outside the door, was still looking for Song Yeongin.

“Where did you disappear to?! If you can hear me, answer!”

The sound of Aiden’s footsteps grew closer. Aiden knocked on the locked men’s room door. In response to Aiden’s knock, Cha Woojin knocked back from inside as if answering.

It seemed Aiden had stopped in front of the door, and for a while, no footsteps were heard.

A deathly silence followed.

With the door between them, Aiden asked something in English, and Cha Woojin replied to the question in an undecipherable low, gentlemanly accent. The two of them exchanged a few words like that.

With a large hand covering his mouth, held in Cha Woojin’s broad embrace, Song Yeongin could feel the loud beating of his heart. He was relieved that its beat was the same as his own. Song Yeongin held his breath, his lithe body trembling.

After lingering in front of the door for a while, Aiden’s footsteps turned back again. ‘Creeak!’ From a distance, the sound of the lounge’s entrance door closing could be heard.

Cha Woojin secretly opened the door and peered into the lounge through a small crack. Song Yeongin’s guard was nowhere to be seen.

Song Yeongin trembled in fear, shivering like a frightened child. With his bottom pressed tightly against Cha Woojin’s lower body, who was holding him from behind, he was held snugly in the man’s arms in a strangely suggestive posture, obedient and pretty.

Cha Woojin fumbled with the inside of Song Yeongin’s thighs, whom he was holding, and laughed lowly from behind.

“Does that bastard know, that you get hard like this just from being held by me?”

Song Yeongin himself was not properly aware of why he was getting hard down below as if he were in heat in such a tense situation.

Last time, too, when Cha Woojin grabbed him by the collar in the alley, Song Yeongin had unconsciously gotten erect for him like a thunderbolt.

Could it be that because of those promiscuous fever dreams, because of his longing for him, his body had gone into heat and crazy just from hearing his breath and feeling his touch?

Cha Woojin fumbled with Song Yeongin’s lower parts, which were coquettishly erect. His hands were as fast as ever. His large, rough hands quickly delved into Song Yeongin’s loose-waisted pants.

“Hk! No…! Don’t. Don’t do this…!”

“…Stay still.”

“Heu, euk…! We must have been caught. Aiden must have figured out that we are in here…!”

“I don’t care.”

Cha Woojin’s heavy member, pressed tightly against his buttocks, was also hard and erect, jutting out as if it would break. It was after feeling his erection on his rear first that he, in turn, got hard in the front.

“Haah…, why are you so wet?”

The sharply defined, strong, and fierce muscles began to bulge roughly. The man, who had been touching the wet penis, unceremoniously fumbled with his rear. The man grabbed and spread the indecent buttocks, which were roundly raised in a pretty shape.

Long, thick fingers gently caressed and traced Song Yeongin’s hole. Without even a chance to resist, the wet fingers that had been fumbling with the wrinkles instantly pushed and entered the hole. Song Yeongin let out a scream-like moan at the raw and unfamiliar sensation of pain.

“Heu, eut…! Ah, aht!”

Cha Woojin whispered with a suspicious look on his face.

“…Hah…, this is a bit strange….”

“……”

“There are no signs… of you having used your bottom?”

“Euhk…, stop.”

“It’s so tightly closed it won’t even open. It’s tighter than the first time I was with you.”

Grabbing hold of Song Yeongin, who was pushing his body away with a start, Cha Woojin barely managed to shove one wet finger into the hole that was shut tight and showed no intention of opening. The tight, untamed mucous membranes, sticky and squeaking, clung tightly to the finger, refusing to yield the way, just like the first time.

Cha Woojin narrowed his eyes as if interrogating him and pressed his sharp nose close.

“Tell me. …Have you not used your behind all this time?”

“Stop, heut…! Don’t. It hurts!”

“If you had been having regular relations with that guy, it would be open by now, gobbling up my finger.”

Cha Woojin lowered his broad shoulders. His debaucherous and cool eyes narrowed and curved thinly.

“Am I wrong?!”

“……”

“Once I start feeding it, I know better than anyone how loose and easily your hole opens.”

Leaning in, Cha Woojin’s dark eyebrows twitched. Besides that, there were more than just one or two suspicious things.

Despite his intentional remarks and provocations, Song Yeongin wore a face like an idiot who knew nothing. His reaction was that of a naive and unenlightened child, so much so that it seemed it would be better for him not to know.

“Stop! He might be outside the door. Please…! If you do this, we will get caught…!”

“Shhh…! I told you to stay still. I said I don’t care.”

Something about Song Yeongin had changed.

He was far more unstable than he had known. He was like an immature child, and it seemed he could not properly judge the situation. He seemed like someone who was broken and malfunctioning somewhere. Song Yeongin babbled like a person who was not in his right mind, as if he were about to faint.

“Ha, euk…! Let go of me…! I care. I have to go. If we get caught being here, you will die…! He will kill you!”

Cha Woojin let out a low, derisive laugh, his long eyes curving as if in disbelief.

“Die?! Who is going to kill me?”

“……”

“Do you think I will just meekly let myself be killed?”

Pulling his finger out of the tightly shut passage, Cha Woojin kneaded the plump, raised buttocks. As he gently caressed the white groin and soft perineum with his hand, the pathetic face, panting and listless, made a lewd expression and responded to Cha Woojin’s touch. Bright red lips let out a pretty breath that sent blood rushing to his cock.

“Eung… heuuu, don’t do this…!”

His body, flushed red to the earlobes and thoroughly soaked in sensuality, shook its head with difficulty, then pushed Cha Woojin away with all its might.

Without even a moment to tidy his clothes, Song Yeongin kicked open the men’s room door, which was furnished with a row of toilets and private male rest facilities, and rushed out.

The tall man in the black evening suit immediately chased after Song Yeongin with imposing strides.

“Yeongin-ah… come here.”

But despite his call, Song Yeongin did not stop running away. Song Yeongin started to run. He fled from him.

It was not too late. He had to come up with an excuse to tell Aiden, no, to tell James Han. That he never met Cha Woojin… that he had been wandering in an unfamiliar place and accidentally took a wrong turn.

Cha Woojin strode to the center of the magnificent lounge in one go, caught Song Yeongin’s shoulder as he was running away from him, and forcefully turned him around.

Cha Woojin lowered his pitch-black gaze and said.

“Alright, fine…. Keep being stubborn like that!”

“……”

“Now I can’t stop myself either.”

“……”

“So, what kind of things I am capable of doing because of you… then, go ahead and watch carefully.”

Looking at Cha Woojin, Song Yeongin was like a thoroughly frightened child. Emitting a gentle, green scent, he trembled in fear, his face like an idiot who did not understand what was happening.

That pathetic and delicate beast. His long, slender nape trembled like a fawn’s, and even his docile and pitiful appearance, shivering in fear, was so pretty it was unbearable.

Cha Woojin thought Song Yeongin’s hair, which was refreshingly shorter than the last time he had seen it, was youthful and cute. He wanted to bury his nose in that white, pretty nape with its downy hair and bite down, he could not bear the desire to mark it as his and leave his own trace.

Cha Woojin pulled the small back of Song Yeongin’s head, which he was gripping, tightly toward him. The sharp, handsome face came so close that their breaths could touch.

“Congratulations… on your debut as a painter in New York.”

Cha Woojin pulled the small, hesitant, and youthful face closer. Once again, he politely sucked on Song Yeongin’s prominent upper lip. But the hypocrisy of pretending to be a gentleman lasted only a moment. He panted impatiently. As if he could no longer bear it, a fierce tongue pushed deep inside the red, plump lips in a deepening kiss.

The conquered small face was crushed here and there against the high bridge of his nose, panting. As he grew short of breath, Song Yeongin pushed away and shoved the man’s fiercely heated and bulging chest with his uninjured hand.

“…Ha…! Haah….”

With a regretful kiss, the desperate man’s gasps, soaked in passion and flailing, scattered into the air.

For the last time, Song Yeongin captured the man in his eyes as if drawing him there. Cha Woojin’s form, letting out a deep, languid breath and frowning his handsome brow in disappointment… he had to draw it very finely in his mind so that he could take him out and look at him when he missed him.

It hurt more piercingly than when he had slit his wrist with a piece of glass. His heart, which had been broken and shattered to pieces, was in tatters.

As if he could not delay, Song Yeongin turned away from Cha Woojin coldly. He ran away from him. His racing heart was pounding as if it would burst. His heart was pulsing wildly with all its might, crying out to be recognized that it was alive.

This fact must not be discovered by the wicked and cunning James Han.

That Cha Woojin still wanted me. That he still loved me….

That secret must not be revealed to anyone. The fact that I was so relieved, stroking my chest at that one phrase from that man saying he had not given up on me yet… my selfish desire to embrace him and beg him to run away with me like this must never be discovered.

Like a boy who had just hit puberty, he had to secretly clutch his chest and pray to God that this pounding would not be found out. He had to pray that this cowardly and impure heart would not be discovered by anyone in the world… that he alone would embrace it and die with it so that he would not be hurt.

As he ran across the lounge to the end, kicked open the door, and rushed out, Song Yeongin came face to face with Aiden, who was standing right outside the lounge door, as if it were a lie. Song Yeongin was so startled, as if he had seen a ghost, that he almost fell backward.

Aiden was waiting for him.

He was looking at him with a face that knew everything, like someone who had been standing outside the lounge for a long time, waiting for Song Yeongin to come out.

Song Yeongin could intuit that he had been found out about everything. Aiden must have overheard all of our conversation. He must have noticed all the shameless acts we committed in there. Every fact that Aiden witnessed would reach James Han’s ears.

Cha Woojin, he will die.

Aiden was looking at Song Yeongin’s flushed red cheeks, which were burning red all the way to his earlobes.

For the past year, the gloomy, shadow-cast image of a person who was lost and broken, with only an empty shell left, was nowhere to be found. Even as he slit his wrist without a second thought and spewed blood like a fountain, Song Yeongin was smiling with empty eyes. A hollow shell that had thrown away the will to live, an empty husk. The image of him seeking alcohol every night because he could not sleep, like a soulless corpse, was now gone from here.

The Song Yeongin before his eyes seemed more alive than anyone. A lovely child was there, blushing bright red and panting. This was the child’s true original self that he had not known.

Aiden knew what had brought that child back to life. And he also knew what could kill that child again. Aiden decided to reassure the cowardly boy who had fallen in love.

“It’s okay. I didn’t hear anything.”