Come Looking for Flowers Chapter 5.1 - Pneumothorax

A large void appeared in Won Kangho’s day now that Lee Yoonjo was gone.

The house was desolate without a nape to bury his lips into, an opening to pry open and enter, a heated breath from crying, and someone to let out moans.

Won Kangho’s daily life returned to how it was before he met Lee Yoonjo. The space called home was nothing more than a place to sleep.

“President.”

Secretary Jung came and stood beside Won Kangho, who was standing in the spot where Lee Yoonjo used to sit and look outside every day. The man, who was smoking a cigarette, did not even look his way and only extended his hand. Secretary Jung familiarly placed what he was holding on top of it.

“The identities of both the old man and the child have been confirmed.”

“The kid.”

“It seems he’s been going out quite a bit these days. He even goes to the neighborhood supermarket alone.”

Inside the brown document envelope were papers filled with dense text and a photo of a clear face. The man stared at the face in the photo with an impassive expression.

It had been a long time since he had finished tracking Lee Yoonjo’s whereabouts. The reason he did not go to catch him was to see what he would do.

Why would he not know that no matter where he ran, he was still in the palm of his hand. The man’s thumb slowly swept across Yoonjo’s cheek in the photograph.

“Why is this so long.”

Won Kangho, who was looking at the documents related to the personal information of the old man and the child, crumpled his face.

The man, without hesitation, threw all the papers except for the photograph onto the floor. Watching the fluttering papers, Secretary Jung opened his mouth.

“Three years ago, the old man Han Hoon’s son, Han Seohee, was found drowned in the nearby sea. He is now living in Wijeong-ri, raising his granddaughter, Han Chae-yi.”

“Drowned?”

“Yes. But this family’s situation is a bit complicated. It seems there was a lot of talk about whether Han Seohee’s death was a suicide or a homicide.”

The face of the one who spoke of death was impassive. The man listening to him also showed no particular agitation.

“And there is one thing that’s bothering me.”

As if to ask what it was, Won Kangho turned to look at Secretary Jung. Secretary Jung answered without any agitation.

“The deceased Han Seohee’s spouse has started visiting. He is a police officer.”

“His dynamic?”

“Ah, the old man is a Beta, and the child has not presented yet. Yoon Chaemin, that is, Han Seohee’s spouse, is an Alpha.”

“My baby found a good spot, didn’t he.”

The murmuring voice carried a strange, murderous intent. In the photograph, Lee Yoonjo, dressed in a pristine white short-sleeved t-shirt and work pants, had a flush on his cheeks.

Like a beast of prey waiting for the moment to hunt, Won Kangho did not immediately set out to catch Lee Yoonjo even after finding him. He thought he would let him have some fun before he was captured, since he would have a hard time once he was brought back. But the story changed if another Alpha was frequenting that house.

Lee Yoonjo was his possession. He must not be touched by anyone else’s hands. If the cat he had painstakingly tamed so much as rubbed its head against another person’s hand, he might just slice its throat with a knife.

The thumb that was stroking the photograph slowly moved down. It forcefully left a nail mark on Lee Yoonjo’s nape in the photo. The clear photograph was now flawed.

“I guess it’s about time to go get him.”

Muttering, the man took a lighter out of his pocket. Ting, with a light sound, the Zippo lighter’s lid flipped all the way back.

When he lit the edge of the photograph, the flimsy paper quickly burned away. Won Kangho stared intently at Lee Yoonjo in the photo.

How should he handle him once he’s caught. The man endured each day with that thought.

He wanted to punish him, to drain him of his tears and semen until there was nothing left, to torment him until his pretty voice became so hoarse he could not make a single sound.

He would make him pay the price for daring to leave his side. He wanted to pick apart and find out just what that small head of his had been thinking to even dream of escape.

“The gift is almost ready, too.”

Recalling the space he had decorated just for Lee Yoonjo, Won Kangho smiled languidly. It was about time to go and get back what was his.

Pitch-black cars raced down the country road in a line. Their speed was tremendous.

The hunt began at dawn. At a late hour when everyone was asleep, Won Kangho’s expression, as he went to catch his runaway cat, was not good.

The passing scenery was shabby beyond compare. The thought that his possession was rolling around dirtily in a place like this made him feel disgusted.

If he had his way, he would buy it all up and raze it to the ground. He wanted to prevent Lee Yoonjo from growing fond of this place, and if he already had, he wanted to pull out all those roots.

Lee Yoonjo was his possession. His body, his emotions, his thoughts, his gaze. All of it had to be his. He had not the slightest intention of giving any of it away to others.

“President.”

“Speak.”

“I think Yoon Chaemin has noticed.”

As soon as Secretary Jung finished speaking, a car sped past them. It was Yoon Chaemin’s car.

What a nuisance. Tsk, the man who clicked his tongue slightly loosened his tie. The man who was driving glanced at Won Kangho.

“Hit it.”

“Sir?”

“I said hit it.”

“Ah, yes.”

In that fleeting moment, Won Kangho saw the face of the person in the passenger seat. That pale face, so full of fear it looked like he would burst into tears at any moment.

Secretary Jung immediately made a call to someone. Before the call even ended, one of the cars following behind sped up and rushed forward.

Still pretty. Won Kangho’s impression upon seeing Lee Yoonjo’s face was trivial. Watching the car recede into the distance, he relaxed his body comfortably.

KWAAANG—!

Not long after, a deafening roar echoed through the surroundings. Yoon Chaemin’s car rolled over on the cement road. He knew without even looking who it was that had been thrown out of the car.

The car stopped at the scene of the accident. Won Kangho leisurely got out of the car and straightened his clothes. The scene unfolding before his eyes was quite a sight.

Thanks to the driver’s side being hit, the passenger’s side was relatively intact. Even seeing the half-demolished car, Won Kangho showed no great agitation.

Won Kangho’s gaze went straight to the ground. His possession, soaked in blood, was lying limp as if dead.

“He even came out to greet me.”

Even covered in blood, Lee Yoonjo was pretty. He felt a faint gaze reach him. A tight pressure built up below.

In just a few steps, Won Kangho stood before Lee Yoonjo. Bending his legs to crouch, he lightly swept the blood-stained cheek with the back of his fingers.

At the small touch, Lee Yoonjo’s eyelashes trembled violently. Like a beast of prey before a weak, small animal, Won Kangho licked the blood of Lee Yoonjo that was on his hand.

The blood was full of sweetness. There was no way such a sweet body was not his.

To think you’d do this. To run away when you’d be caught this easily. Satisfaction filled the man’s chest.

His chest, which had taken a deep breath, swelled and then deflated. A smile hung on the man’s lips.

“Hello, baby?”

Shock filled the brown eyes that looked at him as if in disbelief. The man’s mood hit an unparalleled peak.

How long he had yearned for this moment. How beautiful the omega looked, helpless before him as he brandished the whip. He could not stop himself from smiling.

“Was your little deviation fun?”

“……”

“You’ve gotten prettier.”

The dimming eyes finally closed.

Did he even hear what he said. It did not really matter.

Won Kangho effortlessly lifted the limp body in his arms. As Won Kangho returned to the car, holding Lee Yoonjo in his arms, his minions swarmed behind him. Someone was dragged out from inside the overturned car.

“Let’s go home, Yoonjo-ya.”

The man kissed the cheek that smelled of sweet blood. Finally, everything was back in its rightful place.

His lifeline is excessively long. The tenacious thread of life, no matter how much he tried to cut it, stubbornly clung to its end.

Occasionally, whenever he regained consciousness, Yoonjo could sense the piercing smell of antiseptic and the voices he heard intermittently.

He had not died. He had survived yet again.

To Yoonjo, the man’s voice sounded like the voice of death. When the massive impact had slammed into his body and he had lost consciousness, Yoonjo had longed for death.

“Ughh……”

But he could not die. Just as the old man had once pulled him from the sea, the man had also kept him alive, his body all broken.

He should have died. If he did not die, he was fated to suffer pain equal to death.

The vicious man had forcibly kept his fading breath going, tying him to this world. It was to give him the pain of living because he could not die.

When he came to his senses, pain flooded his entire body. It was proof that he was alive.

He suffered like that for a long while before his consciousness would abruptly fade at some point. Even in that much pain, he did not die. The mere thought that he was going to die was not enough to bring him to death.

He went through those horrifying moments, again, and again, and again. Yoonjo repeated the cycle of waking and sleeping so many times he did not know how much time had passed. As the number of times increased, Yoonjo felt that he was recovering. There was nothing more despairing than that.

“Patient. Are you feeling a bit more conscious?”

The medical staff crowded into Yoonjo’s field of vision as he blankly stared up at the ceiling. Even when they asked him this and that, Yoonjo did not return even a single word of reply.

His whole body was heavy. He wanted to clamp shut the mouths of these people who were making noisy sounds like the machines connected to his body. But a thought was just a thought, and he could not put it into action.

“If you are uncomfortable, please press the call button, and you must get absolute rest. That is the only way you can be moved to a regular ward.”

“……”

“Your guardian will be here soon, so please rest for a bit.”

Yoonjo’s face, which had not flinched at any words, hardened. The medical staff, knowing nothing, immediately left the hospital room.

A guardian. For him, there was no one who could be called a guardian. But, like an automatic reflex, as soon as he heard the word guardian, someone’s face came to mind.

He felt like a criminal awaiting punishment. His shallow breaths gradually became ragged. The machine beeped loudly.

Not long after, the hospital room door opened. A familiar pheromone washed over Yoonjo’s body like a wave.

The pheromone, which he was feeling for the first time in a long while, was much colder and more chilling than before. As if it would freeze his lungs solid, goosebumps prickled his skin.

Won Kangho, as always, was dressed in a perfect three-piece suit with his hair neatly swept back. In contrast, Yoonjo, lying on the hospital bed, was a pathetic sight. Not only were there dressings here and there, but he was also wearing a cast, an oxygen mask, and had all sorts of machines dangling from him.

As soon as he saw the man, tears streamed down from the corners of Yoonjo’s eyes. The man took in the entire scene without missing a thing and came to stand close by.

“Heuu……”

A large hand removed the oxygen mask. His soaked eyes turned towards Won Kangho. Haa, a heavy breath escaped.

The man was silent. He seemed to gaze at Yoonjo for a moment, then he put his index and middle fingers into Yoonjo’s mouth and pressed down firmly on his tongue. He also twirled them to scrape the roof of his mouth and shoved his fingers deep into the back of his throat.

“You have a face that looks disappointed you couldn’t die.”

After the bizarre action, the softly spoken words were tinged with a strange, murderous intent.

His trembling gaze turned to the man. Won Kangho met those eyes directly and shoved his fingers even deeper. Keok, a rough gasp burst out.

“Did you want to die?”

“Ughk……”

“I’m asking you. Did you want to die.”

Yoonjo had neither the strength to scream for him to stop, nor the strength to grab his wrist and pull it away. All he could do was crumple his face as if in agony and let tears stream down.

The man, who had been rummaging inside Yoonjo’s mouth for a long while, withdrew his hand. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his wet hand.

“You can’t die yet, Yoonjo-ya.”

The handkerchief, soaked with saliva, was dropped onto Yoonjo’s body. It was an attitude as if he were throwing away trash. Yoonjo’s gaze could not seem to leave the man.

A large hand caressed his head. His breath caught in fear, as if the man would grab him by the hair at any moment.

“It’s just the beginning. I can’t let you die.”

“Heuk, kkeu……”

“The President will make sure you keep breathing no matter what, so don’t worry.”

The man, who smiled, lightly tapped his cheek. The sobs he had been barely holding back finally burst out in earnest.

The world was pushing him to die, but the man’s leash forcibly tied Yoonjo to this place.

Why me of all people. Such a question was meaningless. If the man said it was so, then it was so, and he was fated to be swung around and dragged along by him.

The machines attached to Yoonjo’s body, which was crying as if collapsing, made a loud noise. The man watched the scene blankly, not letting the corners of his raised mouth fall.

“Rest well. See you again.”

The man nonchalantly left the hospital room. Watching his retreating back, Yoonjo, who had been sobbing, rolled his eyes back. At the loud noise of the machines, the footsteps of the medical staff became urgent.

Time passed without mercy. With each passing day, Yoonjo’s physical condition improved, and after some time, he was moved from the intensive care unit to a regular hospital room.

The new room was familiar. It was the same one he had stayed in when he was hospitalized for a health checkup.

The surveillance became even stricter. Won Kangho stationed people on the entire floor and even planted eyes inside the hospital room.

“Is there anything you need?”

Secretary Jung wore a business-like smile. Yoonjo, who was watching him quietly, calmly lowered his gaze and shook his head.

If you were to ask why the person who should have been handling work by Won Kangho’s side was here, it could be said that it was, of course, to watch Yoonjo.

Won Kangho no longer trusted Yoonjo. This was evident from the fact that he had placed Secretary Jung, who was like his right-hand man, here. There were times when his chest felt tight from the suffocating surveillance.

It was agonizing. The fact that he was still breathing was horrifically painful. He did not know what would happen once he left this place, or in what way he would be tormented. That unknown darkness amplified his fear.

Secretary Jung acted kind, but he watched Yoonjo more sharply than anyone. He was the type of person who, even while busily reviewing documents, would immediately turn his eyes in that direction if even the smallest sound was made.

“Haa……”

The toilet flushed with a gurgling sound. Yoonjo, who was getting up while wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, staggered and quickly regained his balance. His vision went dark and then gradually brightened.

He was eating not even regular food, but porridge, and yet his stomach could not digest even that. The simple meals the old man used to give him went down just fine, but the food here felt like offerings for the dead.

After finishing brushing his teeth, Yoonjo faced himself in the mirror. His horribly emaciated appearance was so hideous it was difficult to look at with his eyes open.

It would be a blessing to die like this. Ever since being caught, Yoonjo dreamed of death every day. He was consumed by the thought of wanting to try again what he had failed to accomplish that day.

If he had his way, he did not want to eat any meals or take any medicine. But there was someone watching, so he could not do so. He would force it into his mouth, swallow, and immediately go to the bathroom and throw everything up.

Even he, as uneducated as he was, could tell. The only way to escape from the man was death. Only by dying could he escape this hellish place.

Yoonjo, who was wiping his wet mouth with the sleeve of his patient gown as he came out of the bathroom, froze in his tracks. As he stood still staring at the door, Secretary Jung tilted his head.

“Mr. Lee Yoonjo?”

Despite Secretary Jung’s call, Yoonjo’s gaze was fixed only on the door. A curious gaze followed Yoonjo’s and stuck to the door. Following that, deureureuk, the hospital room door opened.

As if he already knew Yoonjo was standing there, Won Kangho’s gaze went straight to Yoonjo. The moment their eyes met, Yoonjo felt powerless. The man’s pheromones instantly filled the hospital room.

“You’ve arrived.”

“Go home for the day.”

“Shall I wait downstairs.”

Instead of answering, the man approached Yoonjo. Secretary Jung quickly assessed the atmosphere and bowed his head deeply.

“I will come to pick you up tomorrow morning.”

Only the two of them remained in the hospital room from which Secretary Jung had disappeared. Only the sound of his heart, racing with terror, filled his ears. Yoonjo felt a fear that seemed to stop his breath. Won Kangho, as if unaware that this was a hospital, flagrantly released his thick pheromones.

“Baby.”

The one who had strode over grabbed his thinned face. At the rough touch that did not control its strength, Yoonjo’s face contorted in pain.

“You should at least wag your tail to say you’re happy to see me, not make such a fucking pissed-off face.”

It was a tremendous force, as if it would shatter his facial bones at any moment. Yoonjo, who tried to endure somehow, could not hold back and grabbed the man’s wrist with his trembling hands.

“You’re hurting the President’s feelings.”

“Euk……”

The man was unrestrained in his handling of Yoonjo. He dragged Yoonjo just like that and pushed him onto the bed as if throwing him down. Without a moment to recover from the sudden shock that slammed into his body, Yoonjo hastily sat up.

Watching him loosen his tie, Yoonjo shuffled backward. Fear washed over him all at once, crawling on his skin. It felt like the man would do something to him at any moment.

Reddened eyes, brimming with tears. Despite his face clearly showing fear, Yoonjo struggled not to avert his eyes or show his fear to the man. The man sneered at him. A large hand cut through the air.

“Trying so hard.”

“Ah……!”

Even from a light slap, his weak body fell as if it were flying. The man grabbed Yoonjo by the hair and dragged him closer. With their foreheads touching, the man muttered sinisterly.

“You’re crying.”

Blood burst from his split lip. A rough thumb swept over it. The man, who licked the blood from his finger, had a dark look in his eyes.

“Why is my baby crying.”

“Heuu-euu……”

“Are you crying because you’re scared, or……”

The hand holding his hair let go, and the man, as if nothing had happened, gently stroked Yoonjo’s head.

“Are you crying because you’re worried about that bastard?”

“……”

“Aren’t you curious? Whether he’s dead, or alive?”

From the moment the man started talking about Yoon Chaemin, a violent tremor seized Yoonjo. As even his chin began to tremble, the man gently stroked Yoonjo’s cheek.

After that day, Yoonjo did not know what had become of Yoon Chaemin. The man before his eyes was a person without blood or tears. This man might have harmed Yoon Chaemin in a way far more cruel than he could imagine.

Fear took precedence, fear that he might have done something not only to Yoon Chaemin but also to the old man and the child. Tears finally broke through the corners of his eyes and flowed. Yoonjo, with his trembling hands clasped together, spoke for the first time.

“I was wrong……”

The man’s expression as he looked at the one begging for mercy was impassive. The one terrified to death pleaded earnestly once more.

“I was wrong, I was wrong……. Those people, they were just—”

“No, that’s not it, Yoonjo-ya.”

The man cut Yoonjo’s words short. Looking at the blood-caked lips, the man tilted his head slightly and licked them. Then, he bit down hard with his teeth and smiled wryly.

“That’s not what you did wrong.”

“Heuk……”

“If you’re going to beg, you should beg for something else. You shouldn’t be begging for me to spare that bastard. Do you think I can’t kill you?”

His fingertip poked Yoonjo’s chest. The blood-stained tongue disappeared between the man’s lips.

“Beg. For me to let you live.”

“Heu-euk, heu, heu-eu……”

“The President is giving you a chance right now. Use your head. You’re good at that, you are.”

Tears finally fell from the corners of his eyes. The man collected the moisture with his tongue. His lips slowly descended and lingered on the nape of his neck for a long time.

At the sensation of him inhaling deeply, goosebumps prickled all over his body. The man murmured, burying his lips where the pheromones flowed most strongly.

“Beg for your life, quickly.”

Sharp teeth gnawed and chewed on the nape of his neck. Even as he sank his teeth in painfully, Yoonjo could not say a single word and just shed tears.

He could not move a muscle, as if he were taxidermied. Yoonjo did not even know why he was crying. The tears just came. A sense of sorrow welled up endlessly.

“Ah, heu-geuk……”

A dense concentration of Alpha pheromones enveloped the two of them. The thick scent made it hard to breathe. His slender hands fidgeted and trembled. The man, without applying any physical force, used only his pheromones to rob the one beneath him of all his breath and consciousness.

“You won’t?”

Eyes full of tears turned to the man. Within them, resentment was mixed.

The man, who was gazing at him, grabbed Yoonjo’s wrist. The bracelet on his wrist, which was not just red but had formed scabs, dangled.

It’s already been sized down so much because he’s so thin, but how much more will I have to shrink it. An anklet might be good too. The man’s head was filled with nothing but thoughts of how to tie Yoonjo to his side.

“Baby, Yoonjo-ya.”

The man kissed the inside of his wrist.

“You just made a mistake.”

“……”

“The President definitely gave you a chance.”

That voice was quite sweet. The actions that followed were not.

The man sank his teeth hard into the very spot he had just been kissing. In a flash of blinding pain, Yoonjo could not even let out a proper moan.

“You have to get well soon, Yoonjo-ya. We have a lot to talk about.”

“Heu-euu……”

“And a lot to do.”

Right? With that question, the buttons of his patient gown were undone one by one. Unable to push him away, Yoonjo quietly closed his eyes. A long night was beginning.

A nightmare was a being that came without warning, stirred up a person’s mind, and then left. And for Yoonjo, there was one more being like a nightmare.

His body flinched at the pain that felt like his chest would burst. The sharp, unpleasant sound of a machine painfully pierced his ears, but he had no strength to stop it.

Someone was calling his name. Another someone was bringing something to his lips. Seeing his lungs inflate, Yoonjo guessed it was probably an oxygen mask.

Waking up from a seizure was a frequent occurrence. The number of times was countless. In the first place, counting them was impossible because he could not remember them.

Yoonjo could not properly remember that he had done so. Like a blackout, there was no memory at all.

If he woke up with an oxygen mask on, it meant he’d had a seizure, and if not, then he hadn’t. That was how Yoonjo judged his condition.

The days he had nightmares and seizures were almost fixed. It was the morning after Won Kangho had visited his hospital room, stirred up his insides, and left. Today was no different.

“Eu……”

As soon as he came to his senses, pain poured down on his head and body alike. Letting out a pained groan, Yoonjo opened his eyes and, sure enough, found the oxygen mask placed over his mouth.

It happened again. He wanted to snatch it off if he had his way, but he did not have the strength. Haa, letting out a long sigh was all he could do.

He was exhausted. He was sick and tired of this thin, long thread of life that just kept going.

Funnily enough, while these seizures were increasing, the wounds on his body were gradually healing. The longer his hospital stay, the more Yoonjo felt his body getting better.

He was not happy about that fact. He just wanted to stay sick. This level of pain was nothing compared to the things Won Kangho poured out.

He had heard that some people lose their memories after a car accident. Why did such luck not find its way to him?

He wanted to forget everything. No, he wanted to lose everything. He did not need a future or anything else, he just wanted to let it all go.

If only he had died right there on the spot when the car he and Yoon Chaemin were in had rolled over on the country road. If only the old man had not pulled him out when he fell into the sea. If he had chosen death instead of running away to live. If so, would something be different from how it was now?

It was horribly painful. It did not feel like he was living even when he was alive, and he would often find himself suffocating even when sitting still.

Where did it all go wrong? Should he resent his parents, something he had never done in his life? But for that, Yoonjo loved his family too much.

His mother, who had showered him with more love than he deserved, and his father, who had spared nothing when it came to his work. Until he met the man, Yoonjo had lived without knowing the meaning of the word ‘unhappiness’.

Was it really a coincidence that the man had moved in next door? Was the feeling he had for him truly admiration?

He wanted to quit everything. His ruined life, his butchered body, and even his mind, which had been torn to shreds and turned into rags. He wanted to leave it all behind and fly away freely.

“Heuk……”

As if to represent his anxious state, his pheromones undulated and floated around the hospital room. The crying brought another wave of slumber.

“Mr. Lee Yoonjo?”

His cloudy pupils found their focus for a fleeting moment. Secretary Jung, standing beside him, tilted his head slightly and smiled.

“Is there anywhere you feel uncomfortable?”

“……No.”

There was not a single sound part of his body, which had been abused over and over again the previous night. His throat, from all the screaming, was so raw that he could not even remember what his voice originally sounded like.

The day he had hoped would not come had finally arrived. Yoonjo’s attending physician, Dr. Choi, gave his opinion that he could be discharged, and Yoonjo quickly finished preparing to return ‘home’.

There were people who took care of everything without him having to lift a finger. Men dressed in pitch-black suits, like mourning clothes, moved busily around the hospital room.

If those people were grim reapers, I would beg them to take me right now. I would follow them anywhere, even to hell.

He was certain that once he left this place, he would fall into a world even worse than hell. There, he could not die as he pleased, nor could he dream of death.

Sitting quietly on the bed, Yoonjo looked down at his own hands. The loosely fastened bracelet, which he did not know when it had returned, and the numerous scars beneath it. They were all marks Yoonjo had made himself.

It was a strange peace. Won Kangho, who he thought would barge in at any moment, grab him by the hair, and drag him out, did not appear. Instead, Secretary Jung stayed by his side.

No, the word ‘stayed by’ was wrong. ‘Watched over’ was the correct term. He was currently being watched. He was preparing to be dragged into the underworld.

“You can change into this.”

Yoonjo quietly accepted the clothes Secretary Jung held out.

The clothes, which had gotten a little longer and thicker than when he was first dragged here, showed the passage of the season. In the meantime, summer had passed in a flash, and the chill of late autumn was setting in.

Yoonjo passed by the people busy tidying the room and quietly headed to the bathroom. The place, already cleaned up, was so tidy it felt empty.

He closed the door and undid the buttons of his patient gown one by one. The skin revealed underneath was no better than a rag. They were all Won Kangho’s marks.

Yoonjo was more familiar with this mottled body than a clean one. In the first place, the word ‘clean’ did not suit him. Because he was a dirty being.

Putting on the soft, high-quality clothes, Yoonjo thought he wished they were his burial shroud. If so, he would have been able to wear these clothes a little more willingly.

The pale man in the mirror was shabby. He was wearing clothes that anyone could tell were expensive and luxurious, but they did not suit the person in the mirror.

After looking in the mirror for a long while, Yoonjo quietly turned and came out of the bathroom. The people who had been organizing his things had disappeared at some point, and only Secretary Jung was waiting for him.

“Let’s go.”

He could not understand why the kind smile seemed so terrifying today. He kept his lips tightly shut and followed Secretary Jung, who led the way.

The car sped along the road. Watching the scenery flow past the window, Yoonjo felt his breath gradually being choked off.

What lay at the end of this road? In the car, racing towards an unknown place, Yoonjo wore the face of a man on death row. His fingertips were cold.

Yoonjo anxiously scratched his wrist, which was already covered in scars. His short, neatly trimmed nails left another gash. A scab tore, and blood pooled in the crevice of his nail.

The gray, murky city turned Yoonjo’s world monochrome. Yoonjo’s face, robbed of all color, gradually turned white.

The place they arrived at was that familiar building. The place where Won Kangho reigned.

The car stopped on the ground level, not in the underground parking lot, and Yoonjo slowly stepped out of the door that was opened for him. The outside air he felt for the first time in a while was chilly.

“……”

He looked up at the dizzyingly high building. It was so tall that he could not even tell where its end was.

So I’ve returned to this place after all. The light in the eyes of Yoonjo, who had lost all will, was dull. He quietly cast his eyes down and looked at his own feet.

The building was so high its end was not visible, but the end of his own feet was so very clear. A huge sense of exhaustion engulfed Yoonjo.

“Let’s go in.”

Not even a moment of freedom was permitted to Yoonjo.

Five burly men surrounded Yoonjo and crossed the lobby. Until the moment they got on the elevator, people’s gazes did not leave them.

Only the sound of the machine moving filled the void. As if it were natural, everyone stood in a formal posture with their mouths tightly shut, keeping their places in the cramped, square box.

The elevator headed not up, but down. It felt exactly like his whole body was plummeting. It felt like once that door opened, a pitch-black darkness would swallow him whole.

‘Basement Level 4. The door is opening.’

The golden elevator opened its maw wide. The space revealed within was reminiscent of a grand palace.

Secretary Jung headed not towards the inner area where the rooms were lined up, but to the emergency staircase right next to the elevator. Then, he went down one more floor via the stairs.

When he opened the large iron door, a scream poured out. Startled by the sound, Yoonjo flinched to step back, but shoulders held him firmly in place.

Until just a moment ago, it had been of his own will, but this time, he was truly being dragged. There was no escape route anywhere.

Throughout the walk down the corridor, all sorts of sounds—someone’s screams and cries, the sounds of hitting and bursting—instilled fear in Yoonjo.

The place they entered was located in the deepest part of them all. Inside, Yoonjo’s eyes widened as he encountered an unexpected person.

“……Joy?”

The person, who did not suit a place that smelled so damp and fishy, also had a surprised look in his eyes. Nia, in a dazzlingly splendid hanbok with lips painted red, could not hide his bewilderment. The face he had not seen in a long time was as handsome as ever.

“Why are you here……”

Nia’s gaze turned to Secretary Jung. It was a look that begged for an explanation, but Secretary Jung merely gestured towards the outside.

“You may leave now.”

“……”

“He will be here soon.”

There was no subject in that statement. But Nia, as if he understood, bit his lip and quietly bowed his head.

Until he passed Yoonjo and completely left the room, Nia could not take his eyes off Yoonjo. But that gaze certainly had an end.

Thump. The door closed behind him. As if they had been waiting, the men standing behind Yoonjo restrained his body.

“What, what are you do—”

“Mr. Lee Yoonjo.”

With his arms twisted behind his back, his body pitched forward. Under the men who held his head firmly in place, Yoonjo’s eyes trembled anxiously.

Secretary Jung received something from a man standing still among them. The long, sharp object was familiar. It was a syringe he had seen once before.

The old apartment, the men who had occupied the house, the syringe filled with an unknown liquid. The scene from that time overlapped, and his heart pounded like crazy.

“Don’t, don’t do it……!”

“Please don’t resent the President too much.”

“Ah, please, no……”

Puk, the sharp needle dug into the nape of his neck. Jeu-euk, the sensation of the liquid being pushed in was chillingly vivid.

The feeling of the drug entering was familiar. His stomach twisted, his vision spun, and everything sank downwards as if his brain were melting.

Pressing the area where the needle had been removed with an alcohol swab, Secretary Jung added.

“Why did you have to do that.”

“Heu-eu……”

“……would have been.”

Secretary Jung’s voice distorted. At Secretary Jung’s signal, the men restraining Yoonjo quickly moved aside. Even though the force pressing down on him was gone, Yoonjo could not move from that position.

In the end, the man intended to kill me. With his own hands.

His vision blurred, and his consciousness gradually faded away. The darkness quickly swallowed Yoonjo whole.

Pain was something he was used to. He had no choice but to get used to it. Because it was something that poured down on him every day, it now felt natural.

But being familiar was different from being comfortable. For Yoonjo, pain was familiar but never comfortable. It was more accurate to say that he had reached a state of detachment to protect himself.

If asked to choose the most horrifying moment in their relationship so far, Yoonjo would choose that day without hesitation.

The day he spent his heat cycle with the man. That moment was the most horrifying.

For Yoonjo, sex had to be a painful thing. He had to be the victim, and the man had to be the perpetrator.

But on that day alone, neither a perpetrator nor a victim existed. Yoonjo, intoxicated by pleasure and sensation, clung to the man, and Won Kangho had held him in his arms very willingly.

If he could go back to that day, could he have acted differently? He had asked himself tens, hundreds of times, but the answer was always the same.

Even if he went back, he would have done it. Because it was instinct. Because he was nothing more than a mere omega.

On the day he presented as an omega, Yoonjo clearly knew what it felt like for the world to collapse. His past days of living as an ordinary beta felt like a distant past.

Misfortune, by its nature, was a being that struck all at once, dragging someone down to the very bottom. Yoonjo knew that better than anyone.

When his father’s business faltered and their family circumstances began to decline, Yoonjo remained steadfast. He endured it, even when the way people around him looked at him changed and some pointed fingers.

He thought that if he just did well from now on, it would be fine. He believed without a doubt that his father’s business would get back on track, and his family would be able to enjoy a happy life like before.

And Yoonjo’s hope turned to smoke and disappeared with the sudden onset of a presentation fever. Yoonjo presented as an omega, and not long after, his family completely collapsed.

The seed of misfortune, which he did not know where it had flown in from, thus tore Yoonjo’s family apart. It sank its thick roots deep, clinging tightly to the soil as if to say it would never be pulled out.

Yoonjo’s life, which had started to crumble step by step from then on, finally shattered with a sharp, cracking sound the moment he reunited with Won Kangho. Only his long, tenacious thread of life had held on until now.

He just wanted to live. Even if he could not be as affluent as before, he wanted to live an ordinary life like others. He dreamed only of a life where they were faithful to their own daily routines during the day and gathered in one place in the evening to share a warm meal.

He did not think it was asking too much. Because there were many people who lived like that, he did not think the world would collapse just because one more person like him stuck his head in.

But the world was not so generous. As if to say, how dare you covet such a thing, it drove Yoonjo to the abyss. It was a place lower than even hell.

His mother’s extreme choice and his father’s disappearance. Now, even if he could meet them, he did not want to. With this dirty and horrifying body, he could not possibly face the ones who had given birth to him.

“Euk……”

A groan escaped him at the terrible pain that felt like his skull would split. Opening his eyes, Yoonjo felt that something was strange.

He had definitely opened his eyes, but he could not see in front of him. His entire field of vision was completely dark, to the point where he wondered if he had gone blind.

His eyes, which had been dead all this time, quickly filled with fear. He shook his head wildly and thrashed his body, but he could not move at all.

He was lying somewhere, he did not even know where, with his arms and legs bound. Yoonjo thought he was struggling violently, but perhaps due to the drug, he was in reality only fidgeting.

What on earth is going on. The eyes of the one who was hastily retracing his past memories wandered, unable to find their focus.

He was discharged, he returned to Hwayudam with Secretary Jung, and he entered a room in the basement one floor below that, and then……. Yoonjo’s eyes squeezed shut as he uncovered the end of that memory.

A similar feeling to the one he had experienced on the day he was first dragged here, the day he had a reunion that was not a reunion with the man.

The sensation of the drug entering was still vivid. The way all the strength drained from his body, his stomach turned, and then he lost consciousness. He could not forget that fleeting moment when his body went limp like a water-soaked cotton ball.

What is he planning to do to me now. At least back then, he had woken up in a bed, but now he was lying in a place he did not even know.

“Uk……”

Along with a tremendous nausea, a wave of vomiting washed over him. Yoonjo, who had rolled his body to the side, let out a pained groan.

As his mind cleared, the effects of the drug hit Yoonjo all at once. It seemed to be a side effect of the drug Secretary Jung had injected into his neck.

Perhaps because he had eaten nothing, nothing came out no matter how much he retched. Physiological tears welled up and soaked whatever was covering his eyes. He still could not see.