Come Looking for Flowers Chapter 6.5 - Falling Petals

Yoonjo was too exhausted to keep enduring and holding on. He had no strength left to persist, and he just wanted to feel at ease. He wanted to let go of what he had been gripping so tightly that it made his hands bleed.

“So you don’t have to react like that.”

“……Mr. Lee Yoonjo.”

Yoon Chaemin couldn’t continue speaking. A cold silence lingered in the hospital room. Drip, drip, the sound of the IV filled the void.

The sleeping girl’s face was peaceful. Her soft breathing accompanied the dry fingers gently brushing through her hair.

‘You’ve had a miscarriage.’

The hand stroking her head froze for a moment. Yoonjo tightly bit his lips and quietly withdrew his hand. Lips that seemed like they would never open parted cautiously.

“Chaei-ya, I’m sorry.”

He whispered an apology in a small voice. The girl, lost in sleep, didn’t stir. His tender gaze swept over her body.

After watching her for a while, Yoonjo slowly lifted his head. At the end of his gaze, Yoon Chaemin was leaning against the wall.

When Yoonjo gave a small smile, Yoon Chaemin quietly approached, careful not to wake the girl. He gently lifted her into his arms and left the room.

Left alone, Yoonjo pulled out a thick envelope of cash hidden at the bottom of his bag. After glancing around, he carefully tucked it under the neatly folded blankets in the corner of the room.

This was the best repayment he could offer. It was also his final gift to those who had cared for him and treated him like family without hesitation.

“Let’s go.”

Yoon Chaemin returned alone. He grabbed only his car keys and phone, then left through the front gate with Yoonjo. No words passed between them.

“Wait, just a moment!”

As Yoonjo opened the passenger door, the elder rushed out from the gate and grabbed his wrist. The warmth of his touch was comforting.

“Take this and eat it on the way.”

The elder pressed a black plastic bag into Yoonjo’s hand. Though he didn’t know what was inside, it felt considerably heavy.

“You have to come back. I’ll be waiting, so you must.”

“…….”

“Stay healthy.”

Yoonjo bit his lips, swallowing the sobs threatening to burst. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t want to make the elder feel uneasy by showing his tears.

He should have said thank you, that he’d eat well, but he couldn’t open his mouth. The moment he spoke, he felt the emotions he was barely holding back would spill over. Yoonjo only nodded slightly, blinking rapidly.

The car carrying the two set off with the elder’s farewell. Yoonjo couldn’t take his eyes off the elder in the side mirror until he was completely out of sight. As they turned the corner, the elder’s figure vanished.

How long had it been since he’d been seen off like that, since he’d received such a warm farewell? Tracing a past he couldn’t recall, the tip of Yoonjo’s nose reddened.

The plastic bag in his arms rustled. When Yoonjo took out its contents, he finally burst into tears.

“Ugh, sob…….”

The plain black plastic bag held a food container, the only near-new item in the elder’s modest household.

Inside were various fruits, neatly cut and arranged. It wasn’t the fruits that made Yoonjo cry. It was the note attached to the container.

[Gail (sweet stuff)]

Tears fell onto the rough, misspelled handwriting, smudging it messily. His sorrowful sobs flowed silently.

Far from repaying their kindness, he had received yet another favor. The weight of their love was so heavy it overwhelmed his heart.

He had lied. He made a promise to return that he could never keep. Not only had he incurred a debt he couldn’t repay, but he’d also made a promise he couldn’t fulfill.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

The words of apology rolled around in his mouth. Mixed with his sobs, they turned into tears, wetting Yoonjo’s hands.

Why do I keep making these mistakes? Why do I keep receiving kindness I can’t repay? He felt too guilty to face them again.

The car carrying the weeping Yoonjo drove on and on. As it passed natural landscapes and entered the gray city, Yoonjo’s face resembled that of a dead man.

“Thank you for the ride.”

Here he was again. At the end of the road stood the old apartment. With red-rimmed eyes, Yoonjo quietly unbuckled his seatbelt. Yoon Chaemin’s voice stopped him.

“When will we see each other again?”

“…….”

“Chaei will miss you.”

What should he say? Should he lie and say he’d call later, or dodge with an “I don’t know”? Or perhaps admit the truth, that it would be difficult.

Yoon Chaemin waited for an answer in silence. The car, with its engine off, was filled with a sharp stillness. After a moment’s hesitation, Yoonjo spoke cautiously.

“Can you give me your card?”

“……Why a card all of a sudden?”

“I don’t have a phone right now.”

He couldn’t show his agitation. With that thought alone, Yoonjo suppressed his emotions. Clutching the untouched fruit container, he waited for Yoon Chaemin’s response.

Yoon Chaemin didn’t rummage through his pockets or pretend to look for something. He just stared at Yoonjo, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“You’re not going to call even if I give you one.”

Yoonjo dropped his gaze without a word. It was a silent affirmation. Asking for the card was mere courtesy. Courtesy toward Yoon Chaemin, who had helped a stranger so readily.

He couldn’t promise to call. That would be a lie. He didn’t want to lie to Yoon Chaemin. If he was grateful, that was something he shouldn’t do.

He felt sorry for Yoon Chaemin, but this was the most courtesy Yoonjo could offer. The only way to avoid lying or making promises he couldn’t keep.

After a moment’s thought, Yoon Chaemin sighed and rummaged through his belongings. He pulled a card from his wallet and handed it over.

As Yoonjo reached for it, his hand was grabbed. Startled, he looked at Yoon Chaemin, whose face was sad yet earnest.

“Please call. I mean it.”

“…….”

“I’ll be waiting.”

Yoonjo couldn’t help but nod. He gave a small, silent affirmation, and only then did Yoon Chaemin let go. Partings were, as always, tender.

Stepping out of the car, Yoonjo didn’t head toward the old apartment but somewhere else. There was no hesitation in his steps.

The city’s murky smell stung his nose. Spring was nearing, but the world remained dim. Everywhere he looked was monochrome. Yoonjo’s eyes darkened as he walked.

“What’s your business?”

Hidden in the basement of a large building was Hwayudam. Yoonjo’s face was calm as he arrived. His amber eyes held no emotion.

As always, men in black suits stood guard in front of the familiar building. Once, when he’d been dragged here, they hadn’t said a word. Now, as he came of his own accord, they blocked him, as if asking where he thought he was going.

“I’m here to see the boss.”

“Who are you—”

“He’ll know if you say Lee Yoonjo.”

His voice, announcing himself, was flat. Even in front of men far larger than him, Yoonjo wasn’t intimidated. Such things couldn’t scare him.

After briefly communicating with someone, the men stepped aside. Yoonjo walked confidently into the building, followed by one of the guards.

He passed the familiar lobby, took the elevator, and pressed the button. In his mind, he imagined the man at the end of this path, organizing his thoughts.

With a clear sound, the elevator doors opened. Footsteps echoed through the maze-like hallway. They stopped in front of the man’s office.

“Shall I open the door?”

“No.”

His trembling hands belied his calm reply. As he had throughout this journey, Yoonjo gripped the handle firmly and pulled. A familiar pheromone drifted faintly through the opening door.

As expected, the man was inside. As always, the man who seemed to have the world at his feet greeted Yoonjo with an elegant posture.

“Come in.”

Step by step. As Yoonjo entered the man’s space, the door closed behind him. Thud, the sound of it shutting was menacing.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“…….”

“Have you been well?”

Yoonjo dropped what he was carrying to the floor. Instead of replying, he stepped forward. Approaching the man, he stood by his desk. He pushed the documents the man was reading to the floor and grabbed the large hand holding a fountain pen.

The sharp nib of the pen touched his slender neck. Lips that seemed like they’d never open parted for the first time.

“Kill me.”

“What?”

“I said kill me.”

The sharp nib dug into his skin. Blood stained its tip.

“If I can’t die by my own hand, kill me with yours.”

I should die. By this man’s hand. That was the only way to end this life.

“You’re good at this, aren’t you? Killing people without blinking an eye.”

The gaze looking down hurt. The emotions he’d killed revived the moment he stood before the man.

“So kill me. Please.”

His voice trembled at the end. It was more desperate than ever.

The man didn’t respond. He just looked at Yoonjo, who was holding his hand, silently. Yoonjo suppressed the sobs threatening to burst.

It was pathetic. He loathed himself so much. The fact that he was breathing, that the man’s cool pheromone felt welcoming, was so horrific he wanted to die.

The pen’s nib dug into his wound, ready to pierce his neck, hiding its tip. Blood flowed, staining his old clothes. Such a wound couldn’t kill him.

His hand was suddenly knocked away. Won Kangho slapped Yoonjo’s hand aside and tossed the pen. His powerless body collapsed into the chair.

Won Kangho’s hand touched the wound. He slowly felt the bleeding spot, then brought his mouth to it. Feeling him suck the wound, Yoonjo’s body recoiled.

“Lee Yoonjo.”

His voice, swallowing blood, was thick. Yoonjo, stiffening, gripped the chair’s armrests tightly.

“Why would I kill you?”

The resentment in Yoonjo’s glare was deep. The man met it unflinchingly.

“I told you. I don’t do things that cost me.”

“…….”

“And killing you would be my loss.”

The man’s blood-stained lips gleamed red. Won Kangho licked them with his tongue and grinned.

Tears finally welled up. Unable to stop the broken dam, tears quickly pooled and streamed down his cheeks.

He resented the man. He was broken like this, yet the man before him was unaffected, feeling no guilt, and that made Yoonjo hate him.

He knew an apology wouldn’t fix it. He knew, but he couldn’t let go of the faint hope. He didn’t expect regret, but he wished for at least some remorse.

“Why, why…….”

His strengthless fists weakly hit the man’s chest. His choked voice broke.

“Why did you do this to me?”

“…….”

“You didn’t have to go this far…….”

Living wasn’t living. To live, he had to stay by this man’s side. Realizing that, Yoonjo felt a pain worse than death.

The man let Yoonjo’s fists hit him. He didn’t grab his wrists or stop him.

“I said I’d pay it back. I said I’d work and pay it back.”

“…….”

“Did you have to drag me through the mud to feel satisfied?”

The past surged, choking him. Irreversible moments flashed before his eyes, bringing unbearable pain.

“I can’t do it. I can’t do anything anymore.”

Did it have to be like this? Was it necessary to ruin a person’s life, cut off their breath, and sever them from everything?

Such thoughts brought endless self-loathing. Regret, useless now, only caused pain.

“I can’t breathe, I can’t sleep, I just…… can’t do anything. Living isn’t living. So please…….”

He tightly grabbed the man’s clothes. Tears fell from his upturned eyes. He’d cried so much earlier, yet the tears kept coming.

“Please, just kill me…….”

His hands turned white. His distorted face reflected his heart.

Couldn’t he at least tell the truth? Even if nothing else, couldn’t he have told him about his condition?

He’s a bad person. No, bad was too mild a word.

The man was evil.

He had to admit it. He couldn’t survive without Won Kangho.

By his side, he could breathe, sleep deeply, and escape nightmares. Even now, the anxiety that had gripped him vanished just by being near him. That fact tormented Yoonjo even more.

The man’s firm hand grabbed his crying jaw. His head was pulled up, and his breath was stolen.

“Ugh, mmph……!”

A hot tongue invaded his mouth. He gathered what strength he had to push away, but the man didn’t budge. Hitting his shoulders and pushing his chest were futile.

The man greedily explored Yoonjo’s tear-heated mouth. He swept over his teeth, collecting the sorrow pooled beneath his tongue. Wet sounds fell on his ears.

Won Kangho, eyes open, took in every reaction from Yoonjo. The lips he tasted after so long were sweet. Holding Yoonjo’s wrists with one hand and cradling his head with the other, he kissed deeper.

The thick tongue prodded soft flesh. The man relished Yoonjo’s responsive shudder. He barely restrained his rising smile.

How long he’d waited for this moment. For Lee Yoonjo to come to him of his own accord.

The sweetest candy comes after a long wait. Swallowing Yoonjo’s sweet breath and sucking his tongue, the man eased his long-held desire.

Crunch, the sound of flesh being bitten rang out. The man winced slightly, pulling his lips away. Blood trickled from his bitten lip.

His thumb wiped it. After glancing at his blood, he turned his eyes to Yoonjo.

Without hesitation, Won Kangho buried his lips in Yoonjo’s neck. He pressed his tongue to the crusted blood, melting it with his warm breath.

“Don’t, ugh……!”

As he blatantly released pheromones, Yoonjo’s body went limp. Seizing the moment, the man lifted his frail body.

He set him on the large desk, positioning himself between his legs. Yoonjo tried to stand in a panic, but the man restrained him.

“You asked why?”

His hand slipped under Yoonjo’s shirt. Lowering himself, the man whispered in his ear.

“I told you countless times. I was just doing my job.”

“Sob…….”

“That’s what my job required.”

A flood of pheromones enveloped Yoonjo’s body. Color slowly returned to his ashen face.

Here it was again. The familiar sensation rose. At the same time, sorrow surged, and tears fell with his hot breath.

“Do it by my side.”

“…….”

“You can do it all by my side, baby.”

The man murmured, stroking Yoonjo’s emaciated stomach.

“Breathe, sleep, find what you can do. By my side.”

“Ugh, sob…….”

The man was selfish to the end. He knew nothing of caring for others.

But knowing that, why was his heart wavering? Did the man know that since entering this space, his breath had eased, and the headaches and stomachaches that tormented him were gone?

He didn’t want to admit it. Admitting the man was his salvation felt like accepting his life was truly ruined, so he didn’t want to.

“You came to me knowing I’m your hell.”

The man’s hand slipped out from under his clothes. It brushed his wet cheek. Wiping his blood-stained lips, he smiled.

“If it’s hell whether you die or live, isn’t living better?”

“…….”

“I’ll give you that hell for a lifetime.”

Selfish man.

“Hate me forever. By my side.”

How can you be so selfish?

“Live, Yoonjo-ya.”

How can you be so…… selfish?

“I have no intention of letting you go.”

Despairing tears fell. The man, collecting them, kissed him again.

Having admitted it, Yoonjo had no strength to push him away. It was easier to accept. His eyelids closed.

Everything was calculated. From start to finish, it was all part of the man’s meticulous plan.

After Lee Yoonjo’s suicide attempt, Won Kangho set a trap to ensure he’d willingly stay by his side. Forgiving his debt and canceling the contract were part of that plan.

Mutual bonding, pregnancy. Those words provided an excuse to create a perfect trap for a man. It was a trap that Lee Yoonjo had no choice but to fall into by coming back to me.

Lee Yoonjo will return. It’s merely a matter of enduring a brief loss for the sake of greater pleasure, the man comforted himself whenever he felt his nerves sharpen after sending Lee Yoonjo away.

He took measures to ensure that nothing could be said about bonding or pregnancy. At least not while he was still in that hospital.

When time passed and Lee Yoonjo realized the truth, when he understood that the only thing left for him was the man, when he could no longer endure without returning on his own accord, that was the moment Won Kangho aimed for. That was the perfect timing for the hunt.

“How long will he hold out?”

Once mutual bonding had taken place, there was a limit to how long one could endure without the other’s pheromones. Moreover, Lee Yoonjo had suffered a miscarriage, leaving his body in an utterly weakened state.

Watching the figure curled up tightly on the screen, the man flicked his fingertips. The sound of him tapping the table, as if playing a piano, continued rhythmically.

No matter where Lee Yoonjo went, he could not escape Won Kangho’s gaze. Surveillance was secretly placed around him, and every move he made was reported back to Won Kangho.

Lee Yoonjo was gradually falling apart. He would wake in the middle of the night and rush out of the house, wandering the streets as if searching for someone, only to snap back to reality with a pale face and hurriedly return home.

Even after being taught so thoroughly, he still didn’t know how to give up. Lee Yoonjo lacked the cunning to use tricks or schemes. He required a lot of effort in many ways.

“He collapsed on the street, so we brought him to his home for now.”

An unlit cigarette fell to the floor with a thud. Won Kangho stood up, brushing off his jacket to adjust his appearance.

“Get the car ready.”

“Yes, Mr. President.”

The man headed straight to Lee Yoonjo’s house. Lee Yoonjo, buried in tattered blankets and sleeping as if he had fainted, didn’t even open his eyes once. His flushed face and neck were damp with cold sweat.

The potent pheromones of an alpha facing his mate filled the small bedroom. Won Kangho’s eyes gleamed as he lightly tapped Lee Yoonjo’s cheek with his fingertips.

“Hold out just enough, little one.”

With each passing day, every time Won Kangho saw Lee Yoonjo, he felt both impatience and exhilaration. This frail body needed him.

“You know I’m the only one you have.”

For Lee Yoonjo, it had to be him and only him.

Abandoned and cast out by everyone in the world, the only place Lee Yoonjo could return to should be his embrace. Not by force, but by his own will, he should come running into that embrace.

Won Kangho buried his nose in the nape of Lee Yoonjo’s neck. How dare he wander around while exuding such a sweet scent? For his own sake, Lee Yoonjo needed to come to the man. He had to leap into his arms on his own.

“Ugh…”

As Lee Yoonjo uncomfortably shifted his body, Won Kangho pulled him even closer. More precisely, he enveloped him in his embrace. Forcing his large frame onto the small body, he restrained him with his limbs.

If I am your hell, then we must be together until the end, even in death.

His twisted emotions manifested in a bizarre form. The thick pheromones filled Lee Yoonjo’s entire body, flooding his lungs.

“You said you’d let me go.”

The night Yoon Chaemin came to see Lee Yoonjo, Lee Yoonjo sat alone in the dark living room, muttering to himself. Even though the words were clearly directed at him, the man didn’t respond.

“You told me to do it, but it was all a lie?”

Won Kangho stared at Lee Yoonjo on the screen for a long time. The lips on the screen were red.

“Answer me.”

The cigarette in the man’s mouth twitched. His dark eyes, fixed on Lee Yoonjo, were eerie.

He had deliberately leaked information to Yoon Chaemin. As expected, that incompetent cop, unable to distinguish what to touch and what to leave alone, would surely approach Lee Yoonjo. And the man’s predictions were spot on. As soon as Yoon Chaemin got the information, he went to Lee Yoonjo, and everything unfolded according to the man’s plan.

To Won Kangho, Yoon Chaemin was merely a tool. A tool to help Lee Yoonjo come to him on his own. No matter how much he struggled, that foolish cop didn’t realize he was in the palm of the man’s hand.

Lee Yoonjo finally broke down in tears. He held his small body and cried silently.

The man was patient. At least, he thought so.

He was also magnanimous. Otherwise, he wouldn’t grant every wish, would he? When it came to Lee Yoonjo, Won Kangho tried to be generous.

“How much longer should I wait?”

On the screen, Lee Yoonjo looked as though he might crumble at any moment. That fragility was maddeningly lovable. He wanted to drag him back right then, pin him to the desk, and ravage him.

The cigarette between his fingers snapped in half. Dried tobacco leaves scattered onto the floor.

“Lee Yoonjo.”

He called the name etched deeper than the scar on the back of his hand. A person’s name holds power; the more you say it, the deeper it burrows into your heart and emotions.

Not a single thing deviated from the plan. Left alone, Lee Yoonjo suffered, struggling in his own way to survive, but nothing went as he wanted.

Lee Yoonjo needed to realize it. To live, he needed him.

And it didn’t take long for Lee Yoonjo to come to that realization and return to his side.

The conclusion was very satisfying. The man wondered what thoughts had crossed Lee Yoonjo’s mind during the long time it took him to come back. If possible, he wanted to crack open that small head and peer inside.

Lee Yoonjo, who appeared on his own, was still beautiful. But his words were not.

“If you won’t let me die by my own hand, then kill me with yours.”

Still clinging to lingering attachments? His feeble strength pulled at the man’s hand. The pen tip drew blood where a pencil had once stabbed deeply. For the first time, a crack appeared on the man’s face.

“Kill me, please.”

The wet eyes staring at him were displeasing. The man read the fear in them.

Trembling like this, and talking about dying? It was easy to handle the now-light body. He lifted the emaciated frame, sat him on a chair, and stood in front of him. The image of Lee Yoonjo, once bristling with thorns and full of wariness, overlapped with the present.

Finally, the tears burst forth. The man had to suppress the urge to lick every single one of them. The sight of Lee Yoonjo, dripping with a sweet scent and shedding tears, stirred his sadistic impulses.

“Why did you do this to me?”

“…”

“You didn’t have to go that far…”

Despite enduring countless trials and pains, Lee Yoonjo remained pure. He wept with a face that seemed untouched by the storms of the world.

You didn’t have to go that far, he said. The man didn’t think so. It was precisely because he went that far that Lee Yoonjo was now in his hands.

He could no longer hold back. Lee Yoonjo, exuding a sweet scent with his tears, was driving him to the brink of madness unless he swallowed those breaths.

Without hesitation, he devoured that breath. The first time he tasted Lee Yoonjo’s lips, goosebumps rose to the tips of his hair. So sweet, so intoxicating, he could live off this breath and saliva forever.

“You knew I was your hell, yet you came to me.”

And so, didn’t you come to my side even in death?

“Hate me forever. By my side.”

Even a dead body wouldn’t matter. But a living one was far better.

“Live, Yoonjo.”

Because that pleased him far more. If he died, he could no longer smell this ecstatic scent, hold this soft body, or do the things he wanted.

So he wanted him to live. He wanted Lee Yoonjo, the survivor, to stay by his side.

Just as his world was filled with Lee Yoonjo, he wanted Lee Yoonjo’s world to be filled with him.

He slowly licked the wet cheek. With this, Lee Yoonjo was completely his. The man felt a thrilling sense of accomplishment, wanting to record this moment somewhere.

The breath he swallowed was still sweet. The lips that naturally parted, the tears that finally fell—all of it was sweet, so sweet.

Finally, he had him in his grasp. How long had he endured and waited for this moment? How many days had he suppressed his burning passion for this single thrill?

The body, noticeably thinner than the last time he held it, was stroked gently as if handling a precious treasure. A victor’s smile spread across his face.

You can’t escape me anyway, and I have no intention of letting you go.

The only conclusion for us is to be together, even in hell.

Kissing the cheek and lips of the one he so desired, the man dreamed of the days ahead with the one trapped in his arms. The fragrance of the flower he had finally claimed was sweeter and more fragrant than anything else.