Satanas Chapter 1.3 - Bell

“Father, this way!”

Olivia urgently pulled Tadeo. His body, which had been peering outside, faltered and was dragged along, his eyes unable to tear themselves away from the slowly closing door.

On the second floor they had ascended to, a lamp illuminating the hallway was continuously flickering. Each time the light came on, it revealed a floor mottled red and crimson; it was water and blood that had dripped to form a path. The trail started from a wide-open bathroom and ended in front of a closed room door. Olivia and Tadeo ran straight there.

“Chief Inspector!”

After confirming it was the voices of Tadeo and Olivia, Mrs. Lestrade opened the door. Inside, Lestrade was visible, leaning against the bed and pressing firmly on the right side of his abdomen.

“Fa, Father, Ma, Manila… Manila is gone….”

“I told him I’d call the police, but he kept stopping me. Saying Manila is innocent….”

Mrs. Lestrade said, weeping. Although she had burst into tears upon seeing Tadeo, she was the one who had handled the situation with the most composure. She had torn up a blanket to tightly bind Lestrade’s abdomen to stanch the bleeding, and sent her daughter Olivia to request help as her husband wished. Tadeo continuously patted the Mrs. Lestrade’s shoulder and took a rosary from his pocket.

“Ma’am, Mr. Bergent will bring a doctor. You only need to keep the door locked until then. Just until then.”

The face that nodded was fraught with exhaustion and anxiety. Tadeo gently placed the blood-red rosary from his pocket into the Mrs. Lestrade’s hand and pressed their heads together.

“Everything will be alright, Ma’am. I will make it so. God will be with you, Amen.”

After finishing his words, Tadeo got up and walked to the door. As he stepped out into the flickering hallway, he heard the sound of the door being locked behind him. He turned his body in the direction from which he had come up the stairs and began to walk slowly. At that moment, the few lamps illuminating the hallway went out completely.

“….”

He stopped walking for a moment, but soon began walking down the corridor again.

There were a total of three rooms on the second floor, including the bathroom. Just as he was approaching the room at the opposite end to check it, the sound of someone fleeing as if being chased echoed from the ceiling. Jerking his head up, Tadeo ran to the staircase. His legs, taking the steps two at a time, ascended to a hallway that was pitch-black, without a single point of light.

“…Manila?”

Whoosh, the sound of a violent wind, like the howling of a wolf, swept through the entire house. Flap, the arched window at the far right end of the hallway flew open. The wind, fluttering the short curtains, trespassed and reached Tadeo’s body standing in the middle of the hallway.

Behind the body that collided with the wind, jet-black hair and the hem of his cassock fluttered. The room at the end, with its door open, came into the view of his eyes as he stood facing the wind head-on. Tadeo walked slowly toward it.

“Ecce, ego sum. (Lord, here I am.)”

The words flowing from his murmuring lips were Latin with a refined accent.

“Fac me servum tuum. (Make me your instrument.)”

As he crossed the corridor bathed in the sharp, cold moonlight, what Tadeo took out of his pocket was a rosary. The crystal beads, polished one by one, took on a blue hue in the moonlight and sparkled.

“Sed et si ambulavero in valle mortis non timebo mal…. (Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no ev….)”

A flash of light flared. It was as if light had exploded, dyeing the sky. In the momentary flash, his irises contracted and his vision, smeared with afterimages, grew dim. Yet, Tadeo could not even blink. Because in the instant the lightning struck, his own shadow cast upon the floor had been strange. It looked exactly as if another’s shadow had been cast over it.

“For the morning star is with me; I will fear no evil….”

A mocking tone was heard from behind.

“His rod and his staff, they comfort me.”

It was the end of the prayer Tadeo had not been able to finish. The only difference was that the subject had been changed from ‘the Lord’ to ‘the morning star’.

“Hello, Father.”

The slender voice was that of a young girl, and no sooner had she finished speaking than a clap of thunder, resembling the sound of the wind, rang out with a sharp pain.

“Are you alone.”

“…Manila.”

“That’s a relief.”

Tadeo turned his body to face Manila. The bloodstains on the scissors’ blades were pitch-black in the dim light of night. Seeing the blood dripping from the sharply pointed tips, Tadeo felt his mind unravel and pressed a hand to his forehead.

The long-ago memory of being beaten with a stone laundry paddle when he was the same age as the small girl standing before him, of spouting crimson blood from all over his body, bulged and seeped out.

“I don’t know how the hell you seduced Him… but that ends today!”

Finishing her words with a smile, Manila charged forward.

Tadeo stood rooted to the spot, unable to move a muscle. His entire body had frozen solid. The moment the small body rushed toward him felt agonizingly slow, but he could not even blink.

Soon, an unbelievable sight unfolded before his eyes. With a flutter, a black figure that had flown in through the window instantly blocked Tadeo’s path. Wings as black and abundant as a raven’s feathers transformed into a black coat, and golden hair scattering in all directions embroidered the surroundings.

Hair that held a silvery-white hue, drenched in moonlight. It was Bell.

“Bell…!”

He stretched one arm forward. At that, the charging girl halted her movement a short distance away.

“Wh, why… why are you… Be, Be, Bell…!”

“זה מהומה שלא מותרת. (This is an unpermitted disturbance.)”

It was ancient Hebrew. He could not understand what it meant. As Bell finished speaking, Manila dropped the scissors she was holding, and at the same time, her slender body was flung far away.

“Manila!”

Tadeo rushed to the child who had been thrown down. The unconscious child was splayed out in the shape of a cross, as if her limbs were tied to the floor.

“Bell, give me the holy relics you brought!”

Tadeo shouted, reaching a hand toward Bell after checking the child’s pulse.

🦇

Lying on the bed in an empty guest room, Manila’s limbs were bound. On the drawer of the nightstand beside the bed, Tadeo placed the holy relics. Behind him, Bell, with a blue stole draped over both palms, slowly approached. Each time the long, trailing cloth swayed, the embroidered crosses on its front and back were visible.

The stole, brought as if it were an offering for a sanctuary, was draped over Tadeo’s shoulders. Bell stared fixedly at the pale nape of his neck, revealed beneath the black hair. As he draped the cloth over the chest that was narrower than his own, Tadeo turned around.

“Thank you, Bell. I’ll take it from here.”

There was no trace of affection in the words he spoke face-to-face. It would be nice if he acted the way he looked. Instead of clicking his tongue, Bell gave a faint smile.

“May God’s grace be with you.”

And after leaving words wishing for his safety, he exited the room.

“…Amen.”

Having confirmed that the door was closed, Tadeo softly responded to Bell’s prayer. He stood looking at Manila again. He took his thumb, which had been dipped in holy water, and drew a small cross on Manila’s forehead.

“Lord, be with us tonight.”

He announced the beginning of the prayer with words murmured with his eyes gently closed. He placed the stole over the girl’s chest and continued to pray.

“Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.”

“….”

“Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the Devil. We humbly implore you. May God rebuke him, we pray; and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly hosts….”

The girl’s eyes flew open. Her bright brown pupils rolled toward Tadeo, who had his eyes closed. As the girl opened her mouth unnaturally wide, the cries of various beasts burst out from within. Around the time the demon’s screams shook Tadeo’s eardrums, lightning struck profusely outside the guest room window.

“…by the power of God, cast into hell Satan, and all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of our souls!”

“I know your name!”

A scream full of malice coming from the girl’s mouth cut off Tadeo’s prayer.

All the windows in the room flew open. The curtains swelled with the wind that rushed in like a swarm of bees. Every time they billowed, the image of a cross with Jesus hung upside down appeared. A blasphemous phenomenon that denied the Holy Trinity and insulted Peter, the apostle of God. The swirling wind mixed with a thick, grotesque roar.

His jet-black eyes, trembling with tension, looked all around before he squeezed them shut. Tadeo collected himself and focused all his attention on the prayer he was reciting. He was now shouting in a voice that was close to a scream.

“By the power of God! All Satan and! Evil spirits! Cast them into hell!”

“Ta, de, o—!”

Manila’s small chest began to bounce up and down on the bed. Her disheveled orange hair slapped Tadeo’s cheek, and the sheet that bound her to the bedpost was pulled taut. The bed, with a monstrous strength, not only rocked but its legs rattled against the floor countless times.

“Come to the aid of men, whom God created in His own image and likeness, and whom He redeemed at a great price from the tyranny of the devil!”

“Seven thousand, eight hundred, and sixty-one days ago!”

“Behold! The Lord made the heavens and the earth! Behold! The root of David…!”

Rip, the sheet tying one of her hands tore. Manila, sitting bolt upright, slammed her head into Tadeo’s forehead and screamed at the top of her lungs.

“Behold! Our jar that flowed across the great ocean has arrived at that distant place!”

The child’s lower jaw stretched out grotesquely, baring her teeth. The pitch-black mouth opened wide as if to swallow him whole as it moved. The face he saw with his own eyes was no longer that of a delicate girl. Tadeo’s trembling lower lip clamped shut on its own.

“Behold. That jar was brought up in the net of a fisherman.”

“….”

“That place is, your country.”

His eyelids, laden with long lashes, trembled like an aspen leaf, and the lips that had been busy reciting prayers became rigid.

“In the country where your mother died, our long-held wish will begin.”

“….”

“In the country where your mother died! The seed of death will be sown! Gggk…!”

Tadeo clenched his teeth. The chin, wrinkled below his firmly set lips, looked full of resolve. Clink, the holy rosary cross slipped from his tightly clenched hand. His palm, covered by the stole, pressed down on Manila’s chest.

“Behold! The Cross of the Lord!”

With the trembling cross right before her nose, Tadeo pushed his own head against the child’s forehead and barked.

“Begone, thou wicked serpent, you shall no more dare to deceive the human race, persecute the Church, nor to sift the elect like wheat!”

“You… filthy! Wretch! Not enough to sell your body to Jesus! You sell your body to Satan too! Filthy wretch!”

“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, I ask you! What is your name…!”

In the blink of an eye, Tadeo’s body was sent flying. The sheet tying her other hand had also failed to withstand the demon’s power and had torn. His limber body, having crashed into the wall between the windows, fell to the floor. Manila, with the corners of her mouth stretched up to her ears, sneered at the sprawled Tadeo.

“What is your name, what is your name, what is your name!”

Clatter, clatter. The bed legs jumped. The knot tying her two legs also came undone. Her two skinny legs stepped onto the bed and leaped up. With her arms wide open, Manila threw her head back towards the ceiling. The wind and rain were sucked into the room, drenching the child’s body which stood tall like a cross.

“He calls for us—!”

Tadeo’s fingertips twitched. His faintly trembling hands soon clenched into fists, and a vein bulged on the back of the hand holding the rosary. Gasping for a shaky breath, Tadeo staggered to his feet and rushed at the bed, holding the rosary stretched between his hands.

“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, I command you!”

‘Everything will be alright, Ma’am.’

Tadeo, who had thrown himself on top of the child’s body, pressed the rosary chain against her thin neck. In his mind, the words he had said to Mrs. Lestrade began to ring over and over.

“Get out, of the child’s body, now!”

‘I will make it so.’

“Right now! Get out of! The child’s body! Get the hell out!”

Our Father, who art in heaven. Save this poor, fragile girl.

…Please.

“Heuk….”

The child pinned underneath let out a sob-filled breath. Her dilated pupils began to shrink in size, and the jaundiced whites of her eyes slowly returned to their original color.

“Fa, Father….”

“Manil…?”

No sooner had Tadeo begun to speak than the child shook her head frantically.

“It’s still here, Father! It’s still here!”

With those words, Manila began to writhe in agony, twisting her entire body. Tadeo, who was on top of Manila’s stomach, wrapped the rosary chain around his hand and cradled her small head.

“You, Satan!”

“Aaaargh!”

“You have kneeled before the power of the Lord!”

Tadeo’s eyes grew moist. The demon, in its final throes of losing power, rampaged like a beast inside the child’s body. Pinning down her waist, which was trying to twist bizarrely, with his thighs, Tadeo held the child in his arms with his entire body.

“Tell me your name!”

Her hands, with veins showing black and dead, struck Tadeo’s back over and over. But Tadeo, over the head he held along with the cross, issued the final command of exorcism.

“In the name of the Lord, I command you! Tell me your name!”

Her legs, which had been kicking the air, began to convulse. The muscles, spasming between his thighs, finally ceased.

“Naran… Tasa.”

The voice was full of a metallic rasp and the pronunciation was slurred, making it difficult to understand. The child, who had exhaled it like a lament with a gathered breath, let all her limbs go limp. Tadeo, still holding the child’s head, blinked once. A tear, pushed by the force of his eyelid, formed a droplet and fell.

As he closed his mouth to swallow the sobs that were seeping out, his solar plexus trembled. The hand supporting the child’s small head gently laid it on the pillow. And then the door opened.

“Father!”

Mrs. Lestrade and a nurse wearing a snow-white apron ran in. Beyond them, he could see platinum-blond hair and eyes that held the dawn sky. It was Bell. The moment he saw that face, Tadeo collapsed onto the bed, and Bell shot through the space between them, leaping in as if flying.

🦇

The rain had stopped. The gale-like wind that had swept across London had also died down. In Bell’s arms, as he entered the small two-story building in Kensington Gardens, was Tadeo. His body was cold and light. Below his two limply fallen legs, the hem of his long black cassock swayed.

As Bell stepped on a single stair, a wind that descended the staircase closed the front door. The golden hair that had spread out with the passing wind slowly settled. Through it, the light of dawn, beginning to rise from the horizon, seeped in. From Tadeo’s lips, puffs of breath rose with his faint exhalations. His slow steps trod on a red carpet stained with spilled milk.

There was no warmth left in the house, and the fireplace was full of black ash. Bell blew a short breath, ‘Hoo—’, into it. Even the dead embers revived, and a fire blazed up in the fireplace. Hwarreureuk. He gently laid Tadeo on the long sofa and took off his own jacket to cover him. The one who had been silently watching the sleeping face picked up a wine bottle from the cluttered table.

How much time had passed? As if dawn was breaking, the early morning sunlight poured in through the large, square glass window.

Bell was drinking the last remaining mouthful. After tossing it into his mouth, he shook the empty bottle outside the armrest and dropped it. Thud, de-gu-reu-reu. The rolling wine bottle hit the sofa where Tadeo was sleeping soundly. And then, Tadeo opened his eyes.

“Good morning.”

Bell offered his morning greeting as usual.

“…Bell.”

A hoarse voice called his name. As he sat up, his hair disheveled, the rays of light spreading from all directions reached him. His fine hair was slightly tousled, and its ends took on a strange brown hue in the light. Tadeo moved his parched lips several times. After doing so a few times, he managed to speak.

“You knew.”

In Bell’s blue eyes, which were gazing at him steadily, golden sunlight was mixed. Today, his eyes were clear, the fog lifted.

“Knew what.”

“That Manila was going to stab the Chief Inspector.”

A laugh, much like his low voice, flowed through his slightly parted lips. Even so, I didn’t think that would be the first thing you’d say upon waking up.

That’s not something you should say to the master who brought you all the way here, Tadeo.

“So.”

“That’s not it, Bell…. You’re supposed to say no….”

His handsome face was colored with shock. As the sunlight shone on his cheek, which still had tear tracks, a soft downy hair was visible. How old are you that you still have something like that. It was a thought Bell had while propping his chin on his hand, looking bored.

“I didn’t think you would ask without that much resolve.”

Unlike the agitated Tadeo, Bell showed no emotion whatsoever. In front of that chillingly indifferent face, a large palm clapped a couple of times. Clap, clap.

“Mm, you guessed right. Should I praise you or something.”

“Bell!”

Unable to hold back, Tadeo stood up and snapped in anger.

“Why didn’t you tell me, why!”

The fist he had clenched beside the hem of his cassock trembled. Quite a few memories flashed through Tadeo’s mind. They were all memories of Bell. The lips that smiled while looking at Manila in the running carriage, the lips that had cheerfully added on while watching the falling rain at the restaurant. All of it, even the ominous words he had left before someone knocked on the door in the middle of a rainy night.

“How could you, knowing everything…!”

“Because I was in a bad mood.”

“What?”

“Our conversation was cut off because of Lestrade.”

His indignant anger was swallowed back into his mouth. It seemed to have gone all the way down his throat, as his small Adam’s apple bobbed. Gulp. His lips, parted in a daze, were perfect for imagining a face full of pleasure. If his complexion just turned red in that state…. Bell quietly rubbed the corner of his mouth. His gaze was intent, as if he were a sculptor lost in thought before a plaster model.

“…You, you’re insane.”

“I was thinking of saying something even crazier right now.”

Finishing his fantasy of the pale skin flushing with hot breath, Bell stood up.

“Shall we continue our story.”

“No. I have nothing to say to you.”

“Don’t turn your back on me.”

As Tadeo turned sharply and took a large step, a dry, low voice was heard from behind. His long legs, hidden by the cassock, paused for a moment, then began to move again. He hadn’t even taken a few steps when a chilling energy made every single strand of his hair stand on end. It was an energy on a different level from the demon he had fought last night. It was when the startled Tadeo hastily tried to turn around.

“…!”

“I told you, not to turn your back on me.”

There was no time to even catch his breath. The breath that touched his earlobe was angry. It was a voice that would clog the windpipe and ruin the lungs. His head and shoulders, which had been about to turn, were caught midway, and his entire body from head to toe became stiff as a board. The only things that could move were his rolling eyes.

Tadeo focused on Bell, who had come up right behind him. A long finger came over his nape and traced down his neckline. Strangely, a tingling sensation was being transmitted from his fingertip.

“I was so eager to talk to you my crotch was itching, so why are you so heartless.”

Do not do this, Bell. His lips would not part, as if sealed with glue, so he screamed inwardly. Bell’s finger hovered over the white Roman collar. With a flick of his fingertip, the collar came off easily and fell to the floor. The fingertip that had been moving along the collarbone, which stretched all the way to his shoulder, returned to the center again. Slowly, slowly, it leisurely descended.

“Aren’t you curious what this looks like?”

Bell asked, poking the very center of Tadeo’s chest. That was the spot where the tattoo of a cross, entwined with lushly bloomed roses and their branches, was located.

“…It’s a mark.”

“Right, so, what it looks like.”

His voice, enunciating each word with force, was grim.

“Since when?”

The bridge of Bell’s nose brushed against his ear. Tadeo could not easily answer the smiling question. No, he could not. This was not the Bell he knew. The Bell who would become taciturn when angry would remain silent for a long while, but if Tadeo wore a face like a cat that had kicked sand everywhere, Bell would always be the first to extend a hand. Calling his name affectionately.

“You said you don’t remember well. Can’t you even understand words anymore?”

‘Come here, Tadeo.’ 

The words he always seemed to whisper in his ear. They had sounded very close even from far away. They had traced and tickled the inside of his ear and even drawn his feet forward. To be honest, will you let it slide like that this time too.

“From the very… beginning.”

“What?”

Bell’s thick eyebrows furrowed sharply. The brow bone, creating a three-dimensional line, cast a shadow over his eyelids. The wrinkle between his narrowed brows and his raised eyes were as sharp as the question he had just repeated.

“Bell?”

The hand that had been pressing down on the nape of his neck, rendering him unable to move, fell away with a thud. When Tadeo turned around in confusion, he was slowly backing away. The blue eyes, where golden sunlight had swirled, were empty and unfocused.

The day the heavens and the earth opened. The day a white brilliance radiated from the sky, and dozens of knights burst forth and rose from the ground. As he recalled the memory of that time, Bell’s mind was washed in white. Like the time of the white night in the polar regions.

And only then does he realize. That the brilliance that had drenched your body, which was spewing blood from torn flesh, was truly the hand of the ‘Lord’. That I was not the only one who came to save you.

And… that the prophecy spoken by the ‘old friend’ was true.

The chest wrapped in the black cassock rose and fell. In the silence that piled up like dust, Tadeo’s breathing naturally became ragged. It was the first time he had seen such an expression on Bell. He had never once revealed an emotion, except when he had found a suitable source of amusement. But his languidly opened eyes looked desolate, holding the middle of some nameless ocean, and his even lips, always so relaxed, maintained a suffocating silence.

His retreating steps remained the same. His completely hardened face made the short distance between them seem even greater. It was a sense of distance Tadeo had never felt before. He was at the point where he missed his appearance, which had been not just relaxed but even somewhat arrogant.

Was there ever a single moment that arrogance had been unpleasant? There was not. There was not, Bell. Not once for me.

Tadeo took a step toward Bell. The hand extending from the sleeve of the pure black cassock was like a frost flower on a windowpane. He grabbed the body, which had not even taken off its shirt, and tried to meet his own eyes with Bell’s unfocused ones.

“Bell, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I couldn’t remember. So, so….”

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about, Tadeo.”

The lips he had feared might never open again offered a reply. But the low voice, as if singed by breath, pushed Tadeo away.

“Because it’s all the fault of that damn ‘Lord’ of yours.”

The light of that day, which I had thought was to guide a dying young spirit to the valley of rest, was to protect you from the wiles of a profane existence. The mark of the beast left as the price for saving you, and the vow of the promise we made. That light rendered it all meaningless.

To think that the light was the ‘Lord’ you all so desperately sought answers from.

“Why on earth are you talking like that.”

“I can say worse. Want me to?”

Bell grabbed Tadeo’s arm and taunted him. The corner of one lip, raised in a crooked attitude, and the condescending gaze created an air of boredom. He didn’t push him away as he wanted, yet the face that had trusted him without a doubt was beginning to show a crack. All for the single reason that I had insulted the God he had established as the bedrock of his life.

In your life that would have been nothing without me.

“Your precious Jehovah, who will take the virginity of countless priests and nuns.”

“Bell!”

“Why. Does your body burn at the thought of offering yours too?”

The blue eyes that had scanned the horrified face smoothly dropped. A black cassock woven from satin that shimmered with every fold. The hem, reaching his feet, swayed like a skirt, and from there, covered buttons ran all the way up to his neck.

The gaze that had traveled up the buttons paused on the fascia wrapped around his waist. The tasseled cincture emphasized his unusually slender waist.

“It’s truly strange, isn’t it.”

The two hands that had slid from his arms came to rest on Tadeo’s waist. At that, a small, startled intake of breath was transmitted through his hands.

“Adam and Eve made their seed prosper through copulation, yet those called apostles of God must fight against pleasure their entire lives.”

Bell said with a smile. As he lowered his head, the crown of Tadeo’s black hair, which refused to meet his eyes, tickled the bridge of his nose, almost but not quite touching.

“What could that be, if not a scheme to monopolize all the virgins.”

“Shut that mouth, Bell.”

His slender eyes angled upwards. The black pupils beneath them stared as if in reproach. Even when you’re scared, if I say something insulting, you don’t back down and show your fangs, do you.

The face that bit down on its lower lip and glared was just as it was in his childhood. In the fleeting span of a dozen years, he had somehow grown to reach my shoulder. The time of humans is insignificant, yet at times, wondrous.

“I have no intention of ever leaving you. I clearly remember the moment you saved me! What on earth is the reason for acting like this, saying such things!”

Tadeo, who had been holding it in, said as he pushed Bell away. Even his raised voice sounded so genteel that Bell wanted to laugh. And he became curious. How far this little lamb of God before him could endure without him.

Now I’m starting to get stubborn too.

“What are you going to do if I do have that intention, Tadeo.”

What? Tadeo’s eyes widened.

“Whether I leave or not, your opinion doesn’t matter.”

“What… are you saying right now.”

“It’s dull and boring.”

In an instant, the inside of his mouth went dry and parched. The premonition that had only been anxious became reality. Tadeo’s throat was so tight he could hardly swallow. He quickly reached out both hands to grab Bell’s face. But Bell once again took a large step back.

“That’s my impression of the man called you, whom I’ve watched for 16 years.”

How slowly his body slid down until it reached the dirty floor.

Thump, the way the long hem of his cassock billowed and spread like a flower bud was a pleasing sight. His pathetic state was just like a crow with a broken wing. The knees bent at his feet were the very image of an obedient servant. The hand dropped in vain and the dazed face, unable to even hold moisture from the shock, stirred his lust.

He imagines taking out the organ of copulation in front of that flushed, pale face. Shaking it, and the foreskin repeatedly pulling back and smoothing over the glans glistening with mucus.

“It must have been a long time for you.”

And finally, the mass of desire that bursts forth. Bell pictured the face that would be dotted and sullied with sticky, viscous white discharge.

“But for me, it’s just a moment.”

Bell fastened the buttons he had undone. He put on his vest and tied a cravat with a blue sheen around his neck. It took less than a few minutes to fill the pocket square of the jacket he had taken off. Though it seemed carelessly stuffed in, the neatly folded handkerchief made his appearance all the more rich.

As he grabbed the collar of his long coat and put it on, the high-quality, dark gray herringbone coat fluttered like a curtain, blocking the window. The sunlight was momentarily obscured, casting a shadow over Tadeo’s face. Bell, with the coat slung over his shoulders, walked right past Tadeo. His long legs, striding briskly, left the red carpet.

“Where are you going…?”

Tadeo asked, sitting collapsed in a daze. But Bell did not deign to even open his mouth.

“Bell, where are you going!”

Tadeo called out once more as he pushed himself up from the floor, but the hand opening the door and the stepping foot were unhesitating. Through the small stained-glass window in the closed door, only a shape was visible. The shadow, shimmering as a singed silhouette, faded in brightness with each footstep. It was from then that Tadeo, who had been standing frozen, began to look around frantically.

The space without Bell felt like an abandoned ruin. It became bleak and desolate. He could not shake the feeling of being abandoned, as if left alone in a desert without an oasis. A chill set in, and his twitching shoulders began to tremble violently. Tadeo wrapped his arms tightly around his own shoulders.

“Hh, hooh….”

The space distorted. A darkness that even the flames rising from the fireplace could not overcome isolated him in an instant. The space, once it began to distort, crumpled and crumpled with the intention of folding his body completely.

Tadeo, gasping for breath, began to undo the covered buttons with a trembling hand. When the small, beaded covered buttons kept slipping from his grasp, in his haste he ripped them off entirely.

Rip, rip, rip, the threads burst and the flying buttons rolled on the floor. He fumbled with his clothes and checked his chest. The cross that should have been there with the thorny rose was nowhere to be seen.

“Oh, n, no…. Bell!”

He could not even speak properly, as if he had become an idiot. Tadeo ran out with his collar all askew.

“Don’t go!”

The long hem of his cassock kept slipping down. Though it was trampled and caught on his shoe-clad feet, he paid it no mind and ran down the stairs. His body, unable to even grab the railing because he was clutching his torn-open collar, looked precarious. Bell was standing in front of the main door. At that moment, the blue eyes that had been silently staring at the doorknob closed. When they opened again, the eyes reflected in the metal handle sparkled.

“Bell, please listen to me…!”

Please listen.

The unfinished word went straight down his throat as his body tilted precariously. One foot failed to land on the step below. The toe of his shoe, caught in the hem of his cassock, stepped on empty air, and his legs, having lost their balance, got tangled. He belatedly tried to grab the hem of his clothes, but his slender ankle, having missed a step, twisted completely. Crack. A pain that sent a shiver from the sole of his foot to the top of his head pierced through his body.

Bell, who had placed a hand on the front doorknob, slowly turned around. The body that had slid down with one last step remaining was practically naked. Beside the long, narrow furrow of his spine, his protruding shoulder blades trembled pathetically.

“Bell, please I’m begging… Ah!”

As Tadeo clenched his teeth to suppress a moan, Bell was disappointed. He had wanted to see him scream a little more. With his rounded shoulders completely exposed, the body sprawled on the dirty stairs began to crawl on its elbows.

“Don’t… go, Bell….”

Dragging his useless ankle, he crawled all the way to Bell. The fumbling movement, crawling at his feet, was sordid and yet, in a way, strangely stimulating. It felt like stoking a fire, or like sparks from an electric current.

Bell felt something inside him seething. Tadeo was preoccupied with grabbing his trouser leg, but on Bell’s angelic face looking down at the small head, a sliver of a smile crept in.

“I’m sorry, Bell. Don’t go, please…. Ugh, don’t leave me… don’t go, please.”

Dilated pupils and ragged breathing. His heart beat a little faster at the sight of the scraped skin swelling red. The cassock, so dirty from being covered in clumps of white dust, had long since lost its original black color. The grayish priest’s robe, as if stained with London’s hazy night fog, was tattered.

“You, you can do it, Bell. You can, can’t you. Make me remember. I was wrong. I’ll never forget again. I was bad. I was bad for forgetting so easily. Forgive me, please….”

Not having the confidence to look at a disgusted face, Tadeo just clung to his trouser leg. Bell tilted his head back and let out a shallow sigh. The sobbing, with his nose buried in the toe of Bell’s shoe, abruptly stopped.

There would probably be no chance after the next sigh. It was a moment that required a single, desperate word more than clingy begging. He thought that was what his sigh intended. He had to say something. Words that wouldn’t waste this last remaining chance.

“You’re all I have, Bell….”

It was not a grand statement, but it was enough to make him turn his gaze back once.

Only then did Bell take off the coat he was wearing and lower himself. The sight of him pleading without even being able to lift his face was tear-jerking. Bell put a hand under his slender chin and made him look at him. As expected, the once-soft cheeks were thoroughly soaked and glistening with tears.

He was very pleased with the words he had managed to say while swallowing his sobs. As if he had been waiting for just those words, Bell put his arms under Tadeo’s armpits and swiftly lifted his upper body. He wrapped the coat around his naked body, raised the collar, and fastened it tightly around his nape.

“You can’t turn back now. Are you confident you won’t regret it?”

Bell asked. The face, wet with tears that kept flowing as if from raw flesh, nodded its head vigorously.

“My poor Tadeo.”

Bell pulled Tadeo’s head into an embrace and kissed him. It was a kiss that did not mind the tear-stained face. The lips that had been closed parted on their own at the hot, invading tongue. One side of his chest tingled, and a pain as if his heart was shrinking and then instantly expanding arose. It was a pain similar to the sharp sting he had felt when he was caught from falling.

A dirtied hand grabbed onto Bell. In front of the entrance, where a single cozy lightbulb was everything. In that place where no sunlight reached, the ardor that enveloped the two people took on a black hue. The pain in his ankle, which had throbbed as if it would break, gradually subsided. His hair, blowing in the warm wind, and the coat collar touching his rough cheek, swayed.

The darkness that had slithered and crawled out from the walls combined with the black smoke and was sucked into one place. Into the bloodless chest of Tadeo, inside the torn-open cassock collar. And then, the black cross that had disappeared was once again engraved, and a growing rose thicket intertwined and covered it.

His lowered eyelids and lashes trembled as he closed his eyes. Only then did he remember. The noble gait approaching, having dismounted a white horse. The sublime hand extended, befriended by the brilliant light pouring from the sky.

“You and I are one. Forever.”

It was the vow of a promise he had not heard clearly in his dreams. Platinum-blond hair that held the sunlight. Eyes that resembled the dawn sky where the morning star rises. The young me, mesmerized by that beauty, had nodded my head, and he had saved me by bestowing a saint’s kiss upon my small, blood-stained lips.

He was my angel, and my Bell.