Satanas Chapter 8.2 - Ribs

One day, an old woman who had lost her son came to Antonio seeking an answer. ‘Does ‘God’ exist? If ‘God’ truly exists, why did he take my son?’ What did Antonio say in response at that time?

‘We cursed God together.’

‘Pardon…?’

‘Because no answer would have brought that woman comfort. That was the answer the Lord gave.’

‘Father, you speak as if you have met the Lord in person.’

At Tadeo’s words, Antonio looked at him as if it was a very strange thing to say.

‘Why are you looking at me like that?’

‘You too have met the Lord.’

‘I have?’

‘You met a man named Bell, and you met Peter. Thanks to them, your life was saved, and did you not become a child of the Lord?’

The force that had been weighing him down heavily disappeared. Sensation gradually returned to the arm that gripped the chair. The feeling that came alive in his fingertips made him realize that things he had taken for granted were miracles, and he accepted the trivial textures with wonder. His blood vessels expanded and his heart pounded like a drum. The face that had been seeking an answer toward the cross now looked at Yeon-sun.

“Nameless Satan. Have you ever seen ‘God’?”

“I have not. As he does not exist, it is a matter of course that I could not have seen him.”

“If that is so, why are you so desperately trying to make one deny ‘God’?”

This time, Yeon-sun’s mouth fell shut. Tadeo gripped the leg of the chair he was holding tightly. He neither tried to pull it down nor did he cling to it. He was merely holding on.

“Why do you seek an answer about a ‘God’ who does not even exist from the mouth of an insignificant creature?”

‘Listen, Tadeo. God is not that far away.’ Antonio’s words continued in his mind.

“Nameless Satan. ‘God’ is not far away.”

‘It is all thanks to God that I met an able deacon like you.’

“The love of my mother who told me to deny and insult the ‘Lord’ so that I alone may live is precisely the ‘Lord’, and all the love that is happening even at this very moment is the ‘Lord’. The reason why the world does not easily collapse, even though you exist in the world, is precisely because of that.”

The more he spoke without hesitation, the more he was certain he was moving further away from defeat.

“The demon who left a mark on my chest and bound me is also the same.”

“Are you now giving the meaning of ‘God’ to a demon?”

“That is correct. Because it is capable of ‘love’.”

Yeon-sun gnashed his teeth with a grinding sound. His complexion turned red and blue, like a hearth with a blocked chimney.

“The reason a human can be like God is because they are capable of ‘love’. My hand that is holding you now is also the same. It is an impossible act without love.”

Tadeo released the hand that had been gripping the chair. Within the shadow that was piled up like a great mountain, he readjusted his grip on the rosary crucifix.

“Furthermore, a human can also be like a demon. Just like you.”

“….”

“Gehenna. Ahaz, the 12th king of Judah, and Manasseh, the 14th king of Judah, burned their children as offerings and abandoned them in the Valley of Gehenna.”

The rosary crucifix, raised in a flash, cut through the air and illuminated the shadow that was spread out like a dark cloud.

“Ahaz, Manasseh. Now I understand the meaning of the numbers 12 and 14 you spoke of. Acknowledge that your own evil has distanced you from the Lord. Do not deny the ‘Lord God’ because of your evil!”

As their names were called, the two shadows writhed in pain. When they spread both arms and threatened to swallow him up at any moment, Tadeo raised the crucifix in his hand once more.

“You who did not even know how to love your own children have no right to debate the existence of the ‘Lord’! Therefore, you will not be victorious. That is why you cannot be victorious!”

“Shut uuuuuup!”

Their final desperate struggle continued, with their necks craned. Their slender necks, with several veins bulging, repeatedly tilted back and jerked around in a frantic manner. The outer shell that had feigned the appearance of a sage peeled away, and the revealed evil spirit hideously changed Yeon-sun’s handsome face. As the face covered in boils began to scream, the smell of rotting flesh became extreme.

“Let God arise, let his enemies be scattered!”

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut uuuup!”

“Let those who hate you flee from before your face!”

“Mun, Jin, Ha—!”

“As smoke is driven away. As wax melts before the fire. So let the wicked perish at the presence of God…!”

The candles placed before the altar danced, and the worn-out shirt and black hair fluttered powerfully in the rough storm that kicked up from under his feet. It was a wind brought about by the overturned situation. Yeon-sun drooled and barely managed to draw out exhausted breaths, but the black figures visible behind him screamed, suffering in agony.

The ‘Confrontation’ was over. Now, only the ‘Expulsion’ remained.

“You cannot turn this Joseon into Gehenna. Because I know your names.”

“Heok… heok… Kkeueueu….”

“Ahaz, Manasseh. Tell me who sent you.”

The sound of terrified breathing scratched against the walls. ‘A, a scream! I hear the scream of Gehenna!’ The two shadows scratched furiously at their ears and struggled with all their might to climb the walls. A layer of necrotic skin peeled off, and the red lips revealed beneath were clamped shut. Yeon-sun was gripping the armrest tightly with a hand whose fingernails were all broken and torn.

It meant that the possessed person was holding onto the demon that was trying to escape.

“In the name of the Lord, I command you! Ahaz, Manasseh! Who sent you!”

“Heu, heueu… heueueu…. When it dies the grass withers… kkeuk, when it resurrects the king who bears fr, fruit….”

“Ahaz, Manasseh! Speak the name!”

Tadeo’s voice echoed through the vast sanctuary. Clear tears were flowing from Yeon-sun’s eyes.

“Ba, Ba….”

“Speak!”

“Baaaaaaaall!”

Yeon-sun’s head snapped back. His raised lower jaw opened wide, and the voices of three people burst out, mixed together. Instead of filling the coffered ceiling, the shout, like a rough wind being sucked into a cliff, caused the shadows to fade.

“Heuk, heueuk…. Heuk….”

The faint sobs that were cut off each time his chest heaved was Yeon-sun’s voice.

“Ahaz, Manasseh. In the name of the Lord, I command you.”

And then came the final stage of the exorcism rite, the ‘Expulsion’.

“Leave… that body.”

With that command, exhaled like a sigh, the shadows vanished completely. Yeon-sun’s body, which had been slumped in the chair, suddenly pitched forward. Tadeo, who had extended his hand toward the falling body, quickly ran and caught him in his arms. A few seconds later, the chair that had been remaining in mid-air tumbled to the floor and broke.

“…Amen.”

Tadeo passed through the long, narrow central aisle. His steps, with his back to the altar candles, would stagger, and he would occasionally stop to compose the body he held in his arms. A cherry-blossom-colored furisode flutters over the long shadow. Before the sound of his trudging footsteps could even fade, he opened the doors of the sanctuary.

“Father Tadeo!”

It was not only the moonlight that poured in as the doors opened. Sabina and Sontag, who had been waiting anxiously outside, ran over. To them, who took the unconscious Yeon-sun into their arms, Tadeo said in a tiny voice.

“Please take me there.”

I miss Bell so much.

🦇

It was an exceedingly dreary and bewitching night. The moon, not yet swollen to its full term, revealed its white flesh like a peeled fir tree. Drawn by that bewitching, dark energy, the place his footsteps led him to was the temple that was stained with traces of Yushin’s childhood. The only abstraction left by his youth was the incense-filled Buddha hall. A full 10 years had already passed since he had run down the mountain, declaring that he would quit the path of the enlightened, truth and all.

Only after hearing the news that the landlord monk Cheong-jeong, who had taken him in, had entered nirvana as soon as the year turned at the age of eighty, did he wail and strike the floor of the Buddhist hall, but what use was regret?

It was precisely the third day he had been getting by on temple food like that.

“I heard you are the most skillful shamans in Joseon.”

Yushin, who was looking at the small oil lamp, blinked his eyes. His focus, which had been on the ambiguous line between the soot and the light, shifted to the side. The face, sitting on a crimson cushion embroidered with lotus flowers and pine trees and bathed in light, made him keep forgetting the fact that she was the great madam of this large house.

“Ahem, this humble person did not say he was skillful, he was just eating temple food when….”

“Of course, that is right, madam. Our Seonnyeo-nim will surely cure the young lady’s divine illness.”

The shaman sitting next to him cut Yushin off sharply. Even when Yushin whipped his head around, the way the shaman blatantly ignored him was quite ill-mannered. Heh heh…. So this is how you are going to be. Yushin smiled and quietly stroked only the tip of his chin.

“I absolutely detest those who talk too much. I believe in what is shown through actions. For now, this is hush money.”

Jingle. A delicate hand wearing a jade ring tossed out a bundle of brass coins to each of them.

“Your words are most proper, madam. Such sophistication, truly befitting the great madam of this Vice Minister’s house.”

“If by some chance you cure the divine illness, for the remaining payment, I will give you whatever you want, whatever you ask for. If you ask for a house….”

As the great madam paused her words for a moment, the face of the shaman, who had been delighted to receive the brass coins, brightened as if his fortune was about to bloom.

“Could I not build you a large, tile-roofed house in this Hanseong?”

“Oh my, is there any doubt, madam.”

“However.”

A single, crisp word echoed through the sarangchae. During the short time the flickering oil lamp made the shadows tremble, a cool silence flowed sluggishly.

“If you run away before even trying to do anything, be prepared to give up your tongue as well.”

Yushin had to suppress another laugh that almost came out. The origin of the matter was this. He did not have any great talents, but the god he enshrined within him was quite formidable, so he never starved wherever he went. He was living a life trying to follow the god’s words to abandon material greed, but these imported goods from across the sea would not leave him alone.

Among them, the most mystical was a sticky lump of oil applied to the hair, which was called ‘pomade’. When he applied this to his hair and slicked it back, did his appearance not become strikingly handsome? He had become so engrossed in this that even at the temple he returned to after 10 years, he contemplated becoming a monk again. After spending three days like that, a certain woman who was aging gracefully came looking for him.

‘Please save my daughter.’

She said she would do anything if he just saved her. Fifteen days ago, a gut ritual he had performed to loosen up his body for the first time in a while must have been miraculously effective, because she had heard the rumor from somewhere and suddenly made such a request.

“Why is there no answer?”

At the stern voice, Yushin’s eyes blinked wide open once more.

“Pardon? Ah, yes, madam. How could this humble person receive such a large sum of money and then pretend not to know?”

“Then sit and wait a moment.”

As the shaman answered, bowing as if prostrating, the great madam gathered her skirt and stood up. The small oil lamp flickered in the draft created by her passing. After the madam left, the wind that invaded through the crack of the closed sarangchae door eventually extinguished the small flame that had been repeatedly falling and rising.

“My goodness. What kind of incredible divine illness is she suffering from that you are scaring us like that, Manshin-nim?”

“Well…. Seeing as how every shaman there is won’t even bow in the direction of this house, there must be something to it.”

Yushin was just eavesdropping on the conversation between the shaman’s group and looking around the room.

“But, you look young…. Are you a baksu?”

“Well, something like that, I suppose….”

The unexpected question had not a speck of courtesy. Yushin tried to answer the question with a good-natured smile, but was cut off sharply again.

“If you are thinking of doing this just to get a taste of money and make a name for yourself, you should quit.”

“It seems like you are the one who’s thinking that….”

“What, what?! How dare this punk say that to a Manshin-nim….”

Just then, the sarangchae door flew open. Chilly moonlight streamed in, and a back-lit face with a stern expression looked down at them.

“Oh my, you scared me….”

“Will you come first?”

“Yes, madam.”

“Follow me.”

The shaman’s group followed the great madam and exited the door in a line. Yushin, left alone in the unlit sarangchae, watched the disappearing shadows as they descended the main wooden floor for quite a long time.

Even though Ipchun had passed, the night air was still chilly. It was likely because the wind crossing Bukak Mountain had not yet warmed up. Yushin, who had been sitting cross-legged and staring at the paper-paned door, turned his head again toward the folding screen. After studying the painting on the screen, he nonchalantly looked up at the ceiling rafters. At that moment, Yushin’s eyes narrowed.

‘That is….’

On the ceiling of the sarangchae, all sorts of talismans were plastered so densely that it was difficult to see not only the main beam but also the roof frame.

“This house is definitely suspicious, isn’t it, Buddha-nim?”

At the end of his low mutter to himself, Yushin placed his hands on his knees and stood up. As he moved in place with his head raised, the ceiling, which seemed to be plastered with talismans, spun in his field of vision. His beoseon-clad feet, which had been dusting off his hands, finally took a silent step. When he opened the door, the moonlit air, tinged with dark energy, slid over the threshold and entered. He stepped onto the main wooden floor bathed in moonlight and quietly closed the door.

“Help me!”

A deep spring night, before even Usu had arrived. A scream that tore through the silence rang out. Yushin’s eyes, which had turned sharp, flew over the roof tiles like an arrow.

“I’m dying! Help, somebody help!”

The shrieking scream was loud enough to wake the hibernating frogs of Bukak Mountain. Forgetting even to put on his shoes, Yushin leaped off the main wooden floor and dashed across the courtyard. However, his running soon came to a halt. Arriving at the rear garden after passing the middle gate, he could not take a single step forward due to the strangeness it exuded.

A high, tile-roofed wall that surrounded it like a fortress in a ‘ㅁ’ shape. A small side gate that looked like three or four rice chests stacked on top of each other. That place, cut off from the world with all sorts of talismans attached, felt like a den of demons that one should not enter. Clatter, clatter. From inside, a scream close to a wail could be heard. It was obvious that the shaman’s group that had gone in first was struggling with the door that would not open.

“I was wrong! I was wrong! Is anyone there?! Please open the door!”

“They are asking you to open the door!”

Yushin shouted toward the great madam. The madam, who had signaled with her eyes and a nod of her head to have the door bolted as soon as the shaman’s group set foot in the rear garden, was just watching silently. It was a gaze that made it impossible to know what on earth she was thinking.

“…Let them out.”

How could she be so nonchalant? Yushin could not even click his tongue. The servants, having received the order, undid the bolt from the outside. Then, the shaman’s group, scrambling to get out, tumbled onto the ground. A crimson silk skirt approached them as they coughed, almost vomiting, with their hands on the dirt floor. And a manner of speech, more beautiful than the fluttering hem of her skirt, flowed out.

“I did say that if you run away before even trying to do anything, you would have to give up your tongue.”

“Oh, madam! I have committed a sin worthy of death! Never! Absolutely! I will not let what I saw today leave my lips!”

“I will give you even more of my money.”

At the end of those words, the servants approached from behind the prostrated shaman’s group. As they were of burly builds, they lifted the people up with ease. The shamans, who were looking back and forth at the faces that had grabbed them in a bewildered manner, started to wail once more. They begged and struggled so desperately that they wouldn’t have noticed even if their danghye and straw shoes had worn out from being dragged on the dirt floor.

“I will go in, I will!”

Yushin could not stand it and shouted out. At his loud cry, even the wailing voices stopped abruptly.

“If I go in and find out about the young lady’s divine illness, please let those people go safely.”

At those words, the madam, who had been standing expressionlessly, simply raised her hand to stop the servants.

“Even if you do not find me trustworthy, it is not as if you have any other options right now, madam.”

“If by some chance, just like them….”

“Yes, if I come running out without being able to do a single thing, I will have to give up my tongue.”

For whatever reason, Yushin was speaking confidently, even raising one corner of his mouth without realizing it. The madam just stared at him silently for a while. Her gaze was like a frozen ice sheet.

“…Let him in.”

The madam turned around as she said so. The silver binyeo hairpin stuck in her chignon bun shone with a blue light. From behind, her hands straightening her jade-green jeogori were vaguely visible. Yushin, watching this, slowly stood facing the rear garden.

“Buddha-nim, do you have something you are counting on….”

He swallowed dryly and muttered to himself.

Thud. A beoseon-clad foot stepped onto the rear garden courtyard where sand and gravel were scattered. The silvery-white durumagi flutters in the desolate wind that brushed past the side branches. Creak, clatter. As soon as the other foot followed inside, the door was bolted shut from behind. His head, which had briefly turned, returned to its original position. He crosses the courtyard, climbs the stone steps, and reaches the high platform. In a moment, Yushin’s eyes open wide.

“…!”

Vines that had pierced through the stone steps and the main wooden floor. Thickets whose origins were unknown. The detached house, standing lonely at the edge of the backyard, was completely entwined in them. Yellow talismans, scattered around it like trash, tumbled about whenever the wind blew.

The closer he got, the more a tangible, intimidating energy could be felt. But something was strange. Other than that, no particular energy could be felt at all. He completely forgot that he had been reluctant to enter because it looked like a demon’s den from the outside.

Yes, it was as if he were embraced by the shade of a great mountain through which a very clean energy flowed.

The detached house was firmly shut, without any sign of someone having visited in a hurry. His hand, which tore away the vines, opened one side of the outer door. As it did, a dark wooden floor was revealed, and a wind sound like the howling of a mountain beast echoed and engulfed Yushin. Simultaneously, the wind, its flow now changed, was sucked into that place which was like a deep cave.

A shriveled leaf brushes against his cheek and falls onto the pitch-black wooden floor where not even a handful of moonlight entered. Yushin craned his neck to get a better look inside.

“What on earth….”

Thick and thin stems, which had grown piercing not only the floor but also the ceiling, were densely filling the interior. But Yushin could not stop here. It was not because of some half-baked sense of justice, nor because his own tongue was on the line. Clearly, there was something in this house.

“…Young lady.”

He did not touch the stems at all. It felt as though he should not touch them. The beoseon-clad feet that walked cautiously finally stood before the door covered with mulberry paper.

“I am here to examine the young lady’s illness. Would you let me in?”

Once he had spoken the words out loud, he finally realized how vividly his heart was pounding. The thumping and stretching blood vessels made him feel a tingling heat wherever his pulse beat.

“Excuse me, young lady.”

No answer came, but there was no more time to wait. Yushin pushed open the only door not covered in vines.

Inside, flowers were in full bloom everywhere. They were flowers he had never seen before. The layered petals, tiered like an opened spring cabbage, were rounder and more closed than a lotus, and they were blood-red as if they had sucked blood. Flowers in February, of all things. When the trees scattered in the mountains had not even sprouted new shoots yet. Yushin left the door open and just moved his dumbfounded lips.

He quickly grabbed hold of his senses, which had been momentarily captivated by the profusely blooming spectacle. A woman, sleeping soundly inside a nest of thornbushes, came into view. At first, he had thought she was a man. It was because of her short hair, which looked as if it had been crudely cut with candy scissors, and her pants.

“This… is crazy…!”

His eyes, which had been slowly scanning down from her face, became bloodshot. He covered his mouth in shock, but a curse word slipped out first. Even though it was hidden by the loose-fitting jeogori, anyone with eyes could not fail to notice.

“These crazy people….”

Yushin clenched his teeth, trembling with rage. The woman’s rounded, hilly stomach. It clearly indicated she was pregnant. He whipped around and opened the door with a furious hand. What on earth were the people of this household thinking, neglecting a woman who was even pregnant in this way?

One of his beoseon-clad feet, filled with anger, crossed the threshold. At that moment, a voice came from behind.

“The ones who visited just now could not even set foot in here.”

“….”

“But you were allowed in.”

It was not the voice of someone who had just woken up. It was clear, distinct, and even lucid. The voice even created the illusion of tapping on the nape of Yushin’s neck.

🦇

The shadows created by the deep night filled the road. The carriage that had entered Jeongdong-gil could not proceed any further. Tadeo stepped onto the ground that was covered with brown fallen leaves. A gentle wind carried a mysterious whisper. The steps of his dress shoes, hesitatingly moving forward, were cautious.

The unwelcome premonition raised its head with a sorrowful expression. The path of fallen leaves he was treading towards that place where he would be, seemed to never end. His two feet, moving as diligently as the sun that would still be on the other side of the globe, kept slowing down.

“What in the world is going on here….”

“We found one more injured person over here!”

As he got closer to the densely gathered crowd, the answer to the whisper carried by the wind became clear. A chilly wind passed through the guesthouse building, one of whose walls had been completely blown away. He forgot even the cold air that chilled his cheeks, which seemed colder than the bare branches.

“Bell….”

A cracked groan called his name. Somewhere in his chest was crumbling. It stabbed his chest painfully like exposed rebar. The one who had promised to appear from anywhere if his name was called was nowhere to be found.

“Bell!”

His black dress shoes began to run. He did not even feel the cold from the body heat lost as his sweat cooled, and he pushed past people with all his might. He passed people who had come out in dresses and formal wear to find safety, and people being carried on others’ backs. He stepped on a piece of a chandelier that had once boasted hundreds of crystal beads. His leg, which nearly slipped, staggered and barely regained balance.

“Aren’t you the Father? Are you alright?”

The floor, coated with darkness, was utterly black. It was as if black ink had been spilled. A waiter holding a lamp approached Tadeo, who was staring at the floor, having lost his senses. The illuminating light revealed a reality he did not want to know. Glass fragments and black feathers scattered everywhere were soaked red in profuse blood.

Tadeo’s eyes reached the bloodstain that spread out in a radial pattern.

“Ah… uh uh….”

There, he saw a single taesahye shoe lying forlornly.

“Uu… eu….”

His legs, taking one step at a time, lost their strength and buckled. In the end, he fell to his knees at a distance where he could not reach even if he extended his hand. A piece of glass embedded itself in the hand that touched the floor, but the hand, having forgotten the pain, only searched for fallen feathers.

“Be, eu… Be… Bell….”

He swept the blood-stained floor and gathered the few feathers there were. He brought his bowed forehead down and pressed it on top of them. His chest felt as if a hole had been pierced through it, and he could not breathe properly. Even when he pounded his chest alternately with his two clenched fists, his solar plexus tightened when he inhaled, and his ribs felt like they were breaking when he exhaled.

If I had known it would hurt this much, would I have not cared what you were?

If I had known I would regret it this much, would I have not cared what I was?

…I spoke of love today, and yet.

Should I have been more honest sooner?

“You cannot be in here like this!”

The guesthouse staff came rushing in. In the distance, the sound of the Jinwidae’s horse hooves, and up close, the scene of pandemonium were terribly disorienting. Even then, Tadeo was clutching the taesahye. When there was no movement even after they tapped his shoulder, several people shouted into his ear.

“Get out! Quickly!”

“…Bell will be here soon.”

“What is this person saying?”

“What are you all doing! Just drag him out!”

As the unspoken signal passed that he was a guesthouse guest, the movement to drag him out indiscriminately faltered. Two men among them, who looked like they could use some strength, spoke bluntly with annoyed faces. ‘Please understand, guest.’ They each put an arm under his armpits and effortlessly lifted him up.

“…He will come.”

His limp dress shoes dragged along the floor. Bell would be furious if he saw me being dragged out like this…. The heat rushing to the corners of his eyes was so hot that his vision blurred.

“I’m sure Bell… will come.”

The muttered words came out in intermittent fragments. Through his hair that had fallen forward, his large eyes peered out. As if looking out from behind bars, he looked back at the blood-stained path. His own footprints, left behind like the track of a single wheel, were like a lingering attachment that clung and would not let go. Even at the moment he was dragged out and thrown onto the dirt floor, he stared at the guesthouse, which stood with its mouth agape in blackness.

The black feathers, which he had thought beautiful from afar, looked like soot. He felt the sense of loss rush in once more, and his mind went blank with the regret that came before he could even be pushed by regret. The manager approached him as he sat with his hands propping up his back, blinking his eyes blankly.

“Father, Mrs. Sontag will be here soon. She will surely help, so… Father?”

‘Meet me at Jonghyeon Cathedral. Tadeo.’ 

Only then did the voice that had shielded him from the screams and blocked his ears, flutter. It was possible that their paths had crossed. Tadeo shot up to his feet.

“Father!”

The manager shouted at the body that had suddenly started running down Jeongdong-gil.

“He’s incredibly fast….”

Suddenly, the manager remembered the words of the mistress who, before leaving for the palace in her palanquin, had asked him to take good care of the man.

“Should I even try to follow him….”

Just as he was about to follow after a deep sigh, an unseasonable flock of winged beasts lifted the sunken night street. Flap, caw caw. At the sound, the people gathered around the guesthouse all looked up at the sky at once.

“What’s with the sudden… flock of crows?”

“Aha… the sign of ruin has finally come, the sign of ruin has come!”

His running, with no time to look up at the sky, sprinted through the darkness that was like a sheer cliff. Tadeo was heading ceaselessly toward Myeongnyebang with only one thought in mind. If that blood was Bell’s…. Thinking that what he needed most right now was himself.

🦇

That night, the cawing of crows circled the vicinity of Deoksugung Palace like a dirge. As if treading the path he took, they flowed out onto the street and flowed out again. The crows that filled the sky and the roofs and perched on the utility poles formed a path to Myeongnyebang and the Russian legation.

And at the cathedral, where he arrived before the morning stars had even risen, Tadeo waited for Bell until morning.

“The king has fled! The king has fled! The king has disappeared from the palace!”

The rays of light, tinted in five colors as they projected through the stained glass, were shining down on the sanctuary’s altar. A hand that had fallen in the middle of that light twitched. The hair touching the white cloth covering the altar also twitched. The eyelashes, upon which single specks of dust, only visible when lit, had settled, also twitched.

“There is no king! The king has abandoned us!”

A voice, announcing the state of affairs in place of a newspaper extra, rang out as if to leave the Myeongnyebang hill. How could that sound, which must have come from a distant place, strike his ears so sharply? Tadeo opened his eyes in the dust-filled sunlight. His eyes, with irises visible, blinked thinly and then rolled toward the ceiling. The cross and the ceiling spun round and round.

Just then, someone opened the sanctuary for the morning.

“Who is there?”

It was Sabina.

“Goodness! Is that Father Tadeo? It’s a relief you didn’t freeze to death, really…!”

It was Sabina, not Bell.

Watching the feet peeking out from under the black skirt hem, Tadeo raised his body. His jaw was stiff and his whole body ached as if he had been beaten. It was a relief his mouth was not twisted. His joints were fiercely stiff, like poorly oiled hinges. Moistening his mouth, in which not a single drop of saliva had gathered, Tadeo rubbed his face vigorously.

“Look at this blood…! Are you hurt somewhere?”

“No….”

His voice, hoarse and cracked, was so quiet it would have been hard for even a tiny ant to hear.

“What time is it, now….”

“It’s just past eight in the morning.”

“I must prepare for Mass….”

“Father Stefano is unwell, so we won’t be able to have morning Mass for the time being.”

“Ah….”

Tadeo opened his mouth and nodded. A sense of pity was evident in the gaze that looked at his appearance and state, which were beyond words. Had he not been a person who cared for Mass terribly? Sabina, without realizing it, tightly gripped the document envelope she was holding to her chest. As she did, a sound like a dry fallen leaf crumbling was heard, and thinking, ‘oops,’ she quickly released the strength from her hand.

“But what… is that…?”

“Ah, this….”

Tadeo asked, glancing at the envelope she was holding tightly with her black jeogori. Sabina looked down at the envelope she had taken from her chest and said.

“The Franciscan Order has organized and brought Bishop Peter’s belongings.”

“Didn’t you say it was all organized last time?”

“Yes, I did. But I guess it was something extremely important, because he had hidden it so securely…. He never even told me that something like this existed. Have you heard anything?”

Tadeo slowly shook his head.

“But how would Father Stefano have known?”

“Known… what?”

“He said that one of Bishop Peter’s belongings was missing. So I went back one more time.”

The hem of her trailing veil brushed against the envelope. Her round face, which stood out against the black that subdued worldly desires and the white cloth spread like snow, stared at Tadeo before gently holding out the envelope.

“Would you like to take a look?”

At those words, Tadeo raised his hand, on which blood had dried. As he took the envelope, he felt as if he were holding a clump of fallen leaves in his hand and crumbling them. He untied the string wrapped around the button and carefully opened the envelope. The musty smell of yellowed parchment that rushed out dug into his nostrils.

“This looks very old….”

Inside the envelope were several drawings. The oil paper inserted in between to preserve the drawings was the culprit of the loud noise, but the parchment was so old that it would not have been strange if it turned to powder right away. The drawing he took out with utmost care had traces of hand stains and water that had dried, and the parts that had chipped away with time were all intact.

“Is it an oriental painting? The drawing is wonderful.”

Sabina, who had come closer, marveled with her lips rounded.

“Sabina, do you by any chance know how to read Hanmun?”

“Um… a little? I don’t know it well. I’m only just now learning to speak Joseon-mal.”

It was a strange drawing. Although it was a picture drawn with ink on parchment, the clothes worn by the figures were distinctly oriental. The technique, which focused on the figures without a sense of perspective, was clearly that of an ancient Western painting, but the fluttering clothes in the informal and free-spirited style of painting created a sense of mystery.

“The king has fled! There is no king in the palace!”

The eyes of the two people turned toward where the voice, steeped in lamentation, was coming from. It sounded very close, as if it had climbed the hill. And then, unwantedly, they came to realize. That for those who had only worried about the king’s safety, the safety of the people had not been in their consideration at all.

Even though it is a fact everyone knows, that a house with its main beam removed is easy to demolish.

“The country is in an uproar…. And crows are everywhere.”

Sabina muttered and approached the door. However, Tadeo did not follow. It was because he did not have the confidence to look outside. He felt as if only the cold gazes of bystanders would be waiting for him. He could not erase the feeling of being placed in the middle of unseen eyes, and the one he had wished to be by his side the most was not by his side.

Even without ‘him’, today had arrived.

It was a very natural thing, but he had wished it would be an unnatural one.

February 11, 1896. It was a day that would be recorded in history with just ‘four characters’.

🦇

A familiar scent tickled the tip of his nose. A pure body scent is sometimes the most sensual. The scent, having no form, brings someone to mind as if creating something from nothing. Watching the body take on a three-dimensional form, he is certain of the owner of the scent even before it is complete.

The name rose up to his throat. He opened his mouth because it felt like it would burst if he did not let it out soon. However, as if to punish that impatience, no voice came out. God, what do you want? He ended up calling upon a being he had not sought for a long time.

Funnily enough, only then did a voice come out of the mouth that had only been moving without a sound.

“…Tadeo.”

And Bell opened his eyes.

“Are you awake?”

The red wallpaper with a repeating arabesque pattern was familiar. He could see the lightly swaying canopy curtains and the candles placed in the chandelier. The body scent he had smelled in his dream was gone, and only a sweet yet astringent fragrance remained.

“Belled.”

Bell frowned sharply. As he hastily raised his upper body, which had been lying down, a pain as if his whole body was being hacked to pieces ambushed him. He could not even scream at the severe pain that pierced him firmly from the top of his head to the soles of his feet, and he soon lay down again.

“You’d better stay lying down. Your wings were cut off, you see.”

His long, loose hair spread out in the shape of a reverse fan and was stuck to the pillow. His fragmented limbs were like a solitary island with no bridge connecting it to the mainland. While realizing that it was a miracle he was alive, he could not shake the feeling that he was dead. Bell, who had only been letting out tattered breaths, barely managed to open his mouth.

“This place is….”

“Yes. It is the carriage you gave to Wittgeng.”

The voice was much closer. Bell’s eyes trembled with each deep breath. By the time the ocean-like eyes, which had been thrashing in agony, calmed down, a figure wearing a lavender robe leaned his head into his field of vision, which was filled with the ceiling.

“Wittgeng is dead.”

“…Wittgeng is dead, you say.”

“Looks like you didn’t know. I thought you did.”

The voice delivering the news of death is calm. There would be no personal feelings even if he heard it again. And that was right. For ‘emotion’ was the only abundance bestowed upon humans in the realm of God.

“He was killed by Botis, and I picked him up while he was wandering aimlessly.”

“….”

“Are you sad?”

However, Bell’s expression was not composed. The pale lips under the lavender robe burst into laughter upon seeing that face.

“Your state is quite a sight to see, so ferocious.”

Bell, who had been silently following the back of the head that was turning away while shaking his own, closed his eyes. The lavender robe gown that dragged on the floor. He always has his hood on, so no one has ever seen his face. He, known for his vast knowledge, for speaking of the past and the future, and for answering all questions asked of him, was ‘Gusion’, called the Sage of Hell.

“I saw you fighting Baal without even releasing your power, so I thought you had something up your sleeve, but you just got your ass kicked.”

Bell frowned. He was rethinking his identity. He was doubtful if this was indeed the demon who was said to be taciturn to a fault and to keep people awake for days on end with enigmatic answers. To think he was a demon he had never even met, who only showed up when he was about to die to run his mouth.

“You just thought you wanted to kill me, didn’t you?”

“You call upon Hadad’s name so casually.”

“Well, as for me.”

As Bell changed the subject as if it were no big deal, Gusion shrugged his shoulders and retorted indifferently.

“Why did you not release your power, Belled? You could have fought Baal on equal terms.”

“….”

“Don’t tell me it was because you were afraid that child would die?”

Bell was silent. The sound of a crackling fire was something he had not heard in a long time. Judging by the poor sound, the weak flame indicated it was spring firewood. He was suddenly reminded of someone who liked to sit in front of the fireplace and smell the scent of books. He neither threw away old books nor did he organize them. He was terrible at raising anything. So Bell had thought.

You are fortunate to have met me.

“Look at the great lover. I can’t bear to watch, it brings tears to my eyes.”

The tone of voice that followed immediately was sarcastic, as if he had read his thoughts. But right now, Bell had no strength to even lift a finger and simply closed his eyes.

He had lived without knowing the years he lived. We all live like that. Carrying a load of withered weeds, we live all day listening to the sound of dry leaves crumbling. Humans idolize and admire us for that. Sometimes as angels, sometimes as demons.

But it had been quite some time since he had been living with a heart that does not wither. Looking back and counting the years, it coincided exactly with the time he met that child. This was different from the evening at Kensington Gardens, where they had parted without knowing it was a parting.

Now that they were truly separated, it was as if he were dead while being alive.

“A demon… loving a human, you say.”

“Well, I wonder if you can call something like this that.”

Gusion was quieter than he had expected. Rather, it seemed he was waiting for Bell’s next words. Bell, who had been smiling with one eye slightly open, closed his eyes again.

“Sometimes, I want to break his ankles so he cannot go anywhere. I want to scare him so he cannot even cry, and I want to push my thing into him until his stomach is full. If I actually put it in, his belly does become convex, you see.”

“….”

“I have even seriously contemplated whether it would be good if his belly remained full even after I pull out. What if I make him conceive by receiving my seed?”

Bell opened both his eyes. Still, the only thing in his field of vision was the red arabesque-patterned ceiling.

“Now, say it again. Can you still call something like this that?”

He did not tire of asking again, rubbing his head on the soft pillow. It was fine if he said no, and it did not matter if he said yes. He had even lost his wings, yet he had lost nothing. The thought that there is a way to go back, just as much as he had passed through you, says that everything is alright.

“Why is there no answer, O Sage of Hell? I asked you. Whether something like this can also be called ‘love’.”

“…I think I need to seriously reconsider sending you back.”

Gusion, who had been looking at the unsatisfactory flames, moved his steps. The sound of his robes dragging on the floor assailed his dilated pupils. Gusion approached and bent down as if to look inside him. The lavender hood that had been fluttering over the bridge of his nose falls past his forehead. The deep shadow that covered him up to his philtrum is lifted.

“It’s been a while. …Beliel.”

The thinned voice is unmistakably that of a woman. Her eyes, which lead one to a calm waterfront, are pale blue as if dried by the moonlight. Her skin, which was like lime, regains its radiance, and her peach-blossom-colored lips release a fragrance each time they part. Her round face, with the cheeks of a Mary who protects the holy temple, holds a smile, and the round halo that floats above her hair, which is like a field of ripened yellow rice, is dazzling.

He was the angel who had announced the birth of John and had announced the conception to the Virgin Mary.

“…Gabriel.”

“On the day the morning star, son of the dawn, fell to the earth, I decided to become the eyes and ears of God…. Taking advantage of the volcanic ash that covered the sky, I too descended to this place.”

Gabriel, having finished speaking, smiled brightly.

“So, do not misunderstand. It is not because I found you pretty that I saved you.”

“I never had such a misunderstanding.”

“Right. I deliberately watched your wings get cut off and then lent a hand.”

A white, slender hand fluttered down. As Bell turned his head away from the hand in disgust, Gabriel threw his head back and burst into laughter. ‘It’s no use trying to avoid it. You, who are lying there like a living corpse.’ In the face that looked down again, there was not even a faint smile.

The hand that landed on his forehead was lighter than a feather. Bell thought it felt light because the body attached to his neck was so terribly heavy. Around Gabriel’s hand, sprouts began to grow. Stems as thin as a titmouse’s leg rose up, and lance-shaped leaves grew alternately.

With each moment the pure white petals sprouted, Bell’s body also became lighter. Until the moment they burst their buds and opened their white leaves, until the long anthers revealed their form, the lily, which had bloomed using pain as its nourishment, enveloped the area around his golden hair.

“Is Hadad dead?”

“No. He is in hiding.”

Gabriel answered as if whispering.

“The reason I kept you alive is for one thing only.”

And removing the hand placed on his forehead, he brought his mouth to Bell’s ear.

“Lucifer.”

“…Was it not because I was by the side of the ‘one chosen by God’?”

Gabriel, who had rested his chin on his arms folded on the bed, quietly shook his head.

“Belled, you are the vessel, and that vessel is the only one.”

At the voice that whispered like a lullaby, Bell felt his eyelids growing heavy.

“What kind of bullshit are you talking….”

“For that to happen, there is someone you must meet.”

“The only one I have to meet is that child.”