Dirty Sweet Baby – Chapter 21

Author: nicotine

Having completely thrown off the sheet, Cha Moogyul this time reached for the pajamas Heeheon was wearing. As he began to unbutton them, Heeheon’s face turned deathly pale. His eyes trembled uncontrollably. He struggled, attempting a useless resistance.

“Wh-what, what is this…?”

“I told you to look.”

“No. Why, why are you doing this?”

“Hm?”

Heeheon gasped for air. His lungs rose and fell steeply. Each time he exhaled, his chest heaved up and down, and with every breath, his complexion grew worse. The buttons came undone easily with every brush of his hand. His pale chest was revealed, and his navel came into view. This was no longer a joke.

Get angry… yes, he had to get angry.

Heeheon yelled, scratching at his throat. It felt as if every fine hair on his body was standing on end.

“This isn’t funny, Cha Moogyul. Get this off me right now!”

“Ha…”

“Get it off, you bastard.”

“You really are something else.”

Cha Moogyul placed a hand on Heeheon’s chest. His large hand slid smoothly over the skin. He traced over the ribs as if counting them one by one, then lingered on the lower abdomen, rubbing the navel with his thumb. It was a light touch, but it was impossible to take it lightly. Every time he brushed against him, Heeheon shuddered, his legs trembling.

“It’s about time you realized, Heeheon-ah.”

“What…?”

“You still don’t get it? Even after this?”

The atmosphere changed in an instant. His expression hardening fiercely, Cha Moogyul settled himself between Heeheon’s legs, straddling his torso, and bent his waist. His face came excessively close. Heeheon could feel his breath and smell his pleasant scent. He felt he could even count his eyelashes one by one.

Cha Moogyul lowered his chin. His lips brushed against Heeheon’s cheek. At first, he wondered if he was mistaken, but he was not. He was kissing Heeheon with intent. And willingly, at that. His kisses traveled down his neck. He kissed his collarbone, and he kissed his chest too. He took the nipple, which was taut and erect with tension, into his mouth and suckled deeply as if he would swallow it whole, making wet sounds.

His breath stopped. He was so startled by the unacceptable situation that he could not react at all. His whole body felt as if it had sunk into a dark swamp. He was completely submerged.

“You… what are you.”

Like a soulless ghost, Heeheon muttered to himself.

Cha Moogyul lifted his head. The blue psychic energy that had been pressing down on Baek Heeheon was now gone. He stared at him with a sharp gaze and asked.

“Should I suck it for you?”

“……”

“Choose. Top, or bottom.”

His wet hair swayed before his eyes. His beautiful face was unreal. A hallucination created by a twisted mind, or perhaps a delirium. He, Cha Moogyul, was…

“Whether I should suck that sensitive tongue of yours, hyung, or suck what’s between your legs…”

“…Who are you.”

“Haha, you want both? You’re so greedy.”

“I asked who you are.”

Cha Moogyul’s hand reached for his lower half as well. The pajama bottoms slid off all too easily. He caressed Heeheon’s thigh and scraped at the waistband of his briefs. And then, his lips lunged toward him.

Top, or bottom?

Where…

‘No.’

Where.

‘No…!’

Gasp. He woke up from his sleep.

The pajamas, soaked in a cold sweat, clung stickily around his neck. The single, thin sheet he had been sleeping under pressed down on his shoulders like a heavy weight. Heeheon, who had been trembling in a daze, grimaced horribly.

There was no sign of anyone having touched him, nor had the door been opened. His dry mouth was sore. His tongue stung with sores, as if thorns had sprouted on it. The soft light from the lampstand, which he had left on to chase away the darkness, now felt dizzying instead. Heeheon let out a heart-wrenching sigh, like a punishment, and checked below. The inside of his briefs was sticky.

‘Ah…’

He would rather be sent to the guillotine and have his head cut off.

Perhaps it would be a relief to die while being pointed at by all the people of the world who knew of Baek Heeheon’s filthiness.

‘Fuck…’

Heeheon squeezed his eyes shut then opened them and got out of bed. He trudged through the dark hallway and entered the bathroom. He turned on the shower and stood under the running water for a long time, until the early morning.

He skipped his meals.

Continuously.

Curled up motionlessly in bed like a doll, he let breakfast, lunch, and dinner simply pass by. Lying down all the time made him feel dazed and he would doze off, only to be startled awake from a light sleep, terrified that he might dream of Cha Moogyul again. He repeated this cycle.

The rainy season was in full swing, so rain fell fiercely outside the window all day long, and the gloomy, dark clouds kept the room dark, regardless of whether it was day or night.

In the afternoon, around nine o’clock perhaps. Heeheon rustled and got out of bed. His head was throbbing from lying down all the time, and his body felt weak. He thought he might have a fever, too. A stress headache and a nervous stomach ache persistently tormented Heeheon.

‘…Hah.’

After confirming that Cha Moogyul’s location coordinates were at the training grounds in the annex, he listlessly trudged out of the bedroom. He had starved all day, but he did not feel hungry in the slightest. Instead, his throat was parched. Thinking that he should at least drink some water, he headed towards the kitchen.

However, something in a corner of the dining room caught Heeheon’s eye. On the wide 12-person dining table, elegant tableware was neatly set, and a cold meal was waiting for Baek Heeheon.

A rich beef and radish soup, white rice, pickled cucumber, seasoned chives, salted grilled mackerel, and sweet and sour lotus root… Dumbfounded, Heeheon’s lips parted slightly. In this situation, did Cha Moogyul still mean to take care of Baek Heeheon’s meals?

‘Why?’

That damn bastard… why on earth.

He said I’m not his hyung. He said he had no intention of playing at being brothers.

After drawing such a clear line… why is he still…

The color drained from Heeheon’s face as he made a nauseated expression. His stomach churned and his complexion turned ashen. He could not understand what Cha Moogyul wanted to do. It was like a pitch-black maze. Of course, Baek Heeheon himself was also lost. As if the needle of a compass had vanished, as if the North Star above his head had lost its light, Heeheon had been thrown into a desolate and rugged place, adrift and without direction.

‘…Never happened.’

Is that so.

Perhaps this was a threat more explicit than any criticism in the world.

It meant that he would allow the status quo to be maintained regardless of whether their relationship was miserably ruined or not, so he should just focus on his guiding.

Because that is the path that Cha Moogyul, the Musan Group, the Ministry of National Defense, the new government, and furthermore, the nation and its people, all desire.

‘…’

Heeheon quietly bit the soft flesh inside his mouth.

The mucous membrane was already ragged.

He gnawed on it, trying to digest his bombarded emotions. Then, he silently turned his steps toward the 12-person table. He pulled out a chair, sat down in front of the cold food, and picked up his spoon and chopsticks. He felt like he would dry heave at any moment, but he did not care about the state of his own body.

‘At least one thing has become clear.’

The moment Baek Heeheon’s usefulness runs out, Cha Moogyul will abandon him without a second glance. Like a used tissue. Like a spent battery. As if taking out the trash.

‘I can never be Cha Moogyul’s hyung now, even if I die.’

Heeheon picked up his spoon and took a large scoop of rice. He shoved it into his mouth and then used his chopsticks to quickly pick up side dishes and bring them to his mouth as well. He forced himself to chew and swallow the food. The more he did, the more his complexion turned deathly dark like a corpse, but Heeheon did not stop eating until he had finished the entire meal.

‘I am not that bastard’s brother…’

A snicker escapes him.

‘I’m not…’

Heeheon’s lips twisted downwards as he smiled pitifully.

After being stuck in a helpless situation and constantly agonizing over it, a huge sense of catharsis that even he could not understand washed over him now that he had a firm answer. It felt like he no longer had to endure building and building and building a sandcastle that would collapse with the slightest mistake, only to become anxious when it finally all came crashing down.

Now, there was no need to cling to the past and regret or ruminate over it. Cha Moogyul had perfectly cast Baek Heeheon out, and it was not a situation or a person that could be changed by apologizing or begging.

So,

In other words,

Baek Heeheon was finished. Completely.

‘Haha…’

Then there is no need to pretend otherwise anymore.

The self-blame he had been suppressing with all his might flies away to the distant sky.

Feeling sorry to his mother, wanting to get along, wanting to undo the immature days when all he did was run away. None of that was of any use now. Baek Heeheon had failed as Cha Moogyul’s hyung, and he would not be given that chance again.

Now, Baek Heeheon is just a mere guide.

One who has some value for public appearances.

And even that is scheduled to become useless soon…

‘He’s telling me to just do the guiding, that’s what Cha Moogyul wants from me…’

Bodies touching, mucous membranes mixing.

‘He wants me to properly perform that sticky guiding that’s on a level I can’t even tell if it’s foreplay or not, that’s what he’s saying right now.’

Then, just.

What the hell.

‘I can just do it then…’

For what reason, with what kind of heart, has Baek Heeheon endured until now.