Dirty Sweet Baby Chapter 42

“…I don’t know.”

“Idiot.”

It was horrifying, shameful, and confusing.

He writhed more from the mental anguish than the physical pain of his body being toyed with. He resented Cha Moogyul, and was infuriated that he couldn’t comprehend his impulsive actions.

But, on the other hand, he felt a conflicting emotion.

“We’re… legally brothers…”

He was trembling.

“We… shouldn’t… be doing this!”

Because the one who had longed to be like this with him, the one who had desired him for so long, was Baek Heeheon.

He wasn’t sure about anything else, but this act was definitely not guiding. In other words, this act right now had no justification; it simply meant that Cha Moogyul wanted Baek Heeheon.

Whether he was a crazy bastard or a perverted bastard, it meant that Cha Moogyul felt this kind of desire for Baek Heeheon, and he was doing it of his own free will. This wasn’t contact born from an impulse led by guiding or an esper’s instinct, but by his free will…

“You and I have never been brothers, not for a single moment.”

“But, still…”

“You’re the one who said we should stop. That we should end it all. After running your mouth like that, you only define someone as your kin when it’s inconvenient for you. Don’t you feel how unconvincing you sound even as you spew that from your own mouth?”

“…”

“It’d be better if you were just honest and said that having my cock in your ass makes you want to puke. That you find me disgusting because I’m this kind of revolting beast. Then I’d at least understand your groveling.”

He desired and desired him.

The disgusting one wasn’t Cha Moogyul, but Baek Heeheon. After yearning for him for an immeasurable amount of time, for an unfathomable depth, something inside Heeheon must have broken.

Heeheon, who had always made a habit of avoiding Cha Moogyul and hiding himself, now felt as though he couldn’t show even the slightest desire. His very own craving for him was a betrayal, and he didn’t know how he should act.

Heeheon’s emotions, which had lived locked away in a narrow box, bound by chains and blocked by bars, failed to function properly when the time came that it was actually okay to desire. Like a pitiful, captive young animal that stays huddled in its box even when granted freedom, even when suddenly released, he continued to swallow his desires in his heart, just as he had always done.

‘…Far from making me want to puke…’

Rather, he was worried. It’s a man’s body, the back… wouldn’t he think it’s dirty? Even if he’s like this now, what if he thinks it’s filthy when we actually try to do it. What if I accidentally let out a moan and he gets a stern look on his face. Wouldn’t he find it a turn-off? And my expression? I have no confidence I can keep from blushing, so couldn’t he see my ruined, gasping face and think it’s disgusting?

‘A beast, he says, but I’m the one who’s more…’

Heeheon had no clue whether this act was a one-night game, a way to vent anger, a form of retaliation, or just mockery for Cha Moogyul. But in truth, it didn’t really matter much to Heeheon, whatever it was.

Of course, it wasn’t that he had absolutely no hesitation or reluctance about crossing this final line with him. But if he truly wanted to have a relationship with Baek Heeheon, he was willing to comply. If Cha Moogyul had demanded guiding in this manner, he would have refused to the very end, but since it wasn’t guiding, as he said, then rather… It was evident from how his struggles to resist had ceased at some point.

Heeheon stopped squirming and let his arms and legs go limp. He was scared and intimidated, miserable and bewildered. But at the same time, his heart felt like it would explode. It was pounding, he couldn’t bear it, and a dark excitement thrilled him. He didn’t know if he could possibly maintain his sanity. Could he endure without clinging to him too much or losing himself completely…

Fidgeting and agonizing inwardly, Heeheon’s brows drooped and he bit the inside of his mouth firmly. Chewing on his lip and acting like he had done something wrong, he finally let a single word escape.

“The bed…”

How did it come to this. Why. I shouldn’t. I feel like I can’t show any sign of welcoming this. He might find out. I should be telling him to stop…

“Then do it… on the bed. I don’t want to… out here.”

At those words, which sounded like a plea, Cha Moogyul let out a fierce, dry laugh.

“Looks like you finally get it. That it’s useless to struggle.”

“…That’s not what I meant.”

“Take it as a compliment. If you’d squirmed any more, I was going to tie up all your limbs.”

“Are you, you… is that your usual preference?”

“What.”

“…Never mind.”

“Don’t push it.”

The blue psychic power that had been crushing his chest dispersed. Cha Moogyul wrapped both his arms around Heeheon’s waist and lifted him, walking while pressing his torso down firmly, as if wary that he might try to escape. Though he didn’t need to go that far, as Heeheon no longer had the will to resist.

Cha Moogyul climbed the stairs leading to the second floor. His uniform brushed against Heeheon’s bare skin. The medal he had received today pricked his skin. His spanked buttocks were still stinging. Heeheon curled his toes and brought his legs together. As the bedroom grew closer, his heart began to pound shamelessly. Thump, thump.

How could a day like this come, how could this be happening? He needed to act as normal as possible, but it was as if his memory of how he usually behaved had been completely erased.

‘We were only brothers in name before, but now, even that pretense…’

He wouldn’t dare call him his younger brother or family. From now on, it was like jumping off a cliff, stark naked. Because he would never be able to climb back up.

Upon reaching the second floor, Cha Moogyul headed straight for his own room. Held in his arms, Heeheon’s heart sank. In Cha Moogyul’s bedroom. Is that really okay? The problem was that Heeheon would be lying on the bed he used every day. If it were just lying down it might be one thing, but they were about to be tumbling around on it… His worries were endless. That didn’t mean it would be any better to use Heeheon’s bed, either. Because he would think about it every time he lay down to sleep.

Creeak. The door opened. Cha Moogyul entered his bedroom. It was a room so neat and tidy, like a hotel room, that it hardly felt lived in. A desktop computer sat on a large desk, and organized documents were stacked neatly in file binders. The curtains were drawn completely shut, and the snow-white bed cover, sheets, and duvet were all immaculately smooth.

Cha Moogyul tossed Heeheon, who was blankly admiring the room, onto that clean bed.

“…!”

Heeheon landed sprawled on the soft bed for all to see. Cha Moogyul rotated his wrist once, loosening the joint, and then began to take off his cumbersome uniform first. His clothes were strewn one by one onto the floor of the bedroom, which had been as pristine as a sterile room.

First, the formal cap he wore on his head rolled onto the floor, and then the uniform jacket, splendidly adorned with a medal, insignia, and ribbons, fell with a thud. Finally, he threw off his shirt and climbed onto the bed. When Heeheon unconsciously shrank back and began to inch toward the corner of the bed, Cha Moogyul saw him and sneered.

“You really have a talent for getting on my nerves.”

Then he roughly reached out and brutally grabbed and pinned Heeheon’s legs. He forced them open into a shamefully wide position, then immediately touched his hole, and Heeheon flinched violently at the touch.

“Ah, ugh.”

He rubbed his fingertip against the tightly puckered red folds. Showing no intention of taking things slow, he bent his knuckle and tried to force his middle finger into the sealed opening. The tight hole, of course, did not open easily, and what’s more, his tense and stiffened body made it so taut that it couldn’t even accept a single finger.

“You’re clenching so tight… Does it hurt?”

“…I don’t know. Right, now, I don’t know anything.”

“Relax. Or breathe. If you tear, you’re the only one who loses, hyung.”

“Ugh…”

Cha Moogyul lowered his head slightly and spat between the cheeks of his ass. Just as it felt a little wet, his middle finger stabbed deep inside. Heeheon reacted almost convulsively.

“…!”

It was hard to believe it was just one finger. It was pushing in so deep and the thickness was so tight, was this really a finger? He didn’t know if he could even take Cha Moogyul’s cock at this rate.

Furthermore, the finger that pushed inside touched his mucous membrane, and the core in his chest responded faithfully. It hummed and trembled, inducing guiding. Even without Heeheon deliberately concentrating, guiding proceeded little by little, like water leaking from cupped hands.

“Ah, ah…”

“What, why are you trying to guide again? This isn’t even guiding right now.”

“Ngh.”

Heeheon didn’t know either. As his mucous membrane was rubbed, guiding just naturally tried to occur. Perhaps it was because every time he had been in physical contact with Cha Moogyul, he had been aroused but still had to guide him somehow, so now it had become an ingrained habit. The moment they touched, he naturally connected and linked with him. As if the two of them were originally one.

Cha Moogyul once again suspected and accused Heeheon.

“Ha, of course… Have you been giving espers mucous membrane guiding through your asshole too?”

“No…”

“Then why are you starting to guide naturally while getting your ass fingered?”

“I said no, why do you keep, why…”

“Because your words and actions are different. You’re performing guiding, hyung, while getting your hole dug out.”

“That’s, ugh…”

Heeheon’s thighs trembled as he clutched the sheets. His gaze, with nowhere to go, wandered around the room before he turned his head to the side and squeezed his eyelids shut.