Dirty Sweet Baby Chapter 54

“You have strong likes and dislikes. You only like what you like and don’t even spare a glance for what you don’t. Like a little kid.”

Cha Moogyul finished massaging one calf and lifted Heeheon’s leg to kiss his knee. Two short pecks, smack, smack, and then he lifted the other leg to massage it as well.

Heeheon let out a short sigh.

“I’m asking you, when was that? I’m not like that anymore.”

“Really?”

Cha Moogyul put down the leg he was massaging and lifted his upper body. His well-shaped lips drew close to Heeheon’s face but didn’t touch it right away. He stopped at a brushing distance and watched Heeheon intently. His gaze easily stimulated Heeheon.

“Lying is no fun.”

Cha Moogyul looked up with his cool eyes and grinned at Heeheon. A promiscuous temptation that savored carnal desire was cleverly hidden in those gleaming eyes.

Heeheon lowered his eyelids, avoiding his gaze. He felt he shouldn’t meet his eyes. The gaze that poured solely onto him felt more and more blatant with each passing day, as if it would pierce through his face at any moment. Until now, Cha Moogyul had skillfully hidden his true feelings, like a pitch-black darkness where one couldn’t see an inch ahead, but now it was as if there was no need to…

“I know what you keep in your desk drawer, hyung.”

“How would you know.”

“Coins and marbles. Still the same, aren’t you.”

“…Did you open it.”

“That kind of stuff is fine, but let’s throw away Sung Ahwon’s dog tag.”

“…”

“I’ll give you mine instead.”

He said it like a suggestion, but as if informing him of a decision already made, Cha Moogyul undid the clasp of the dog tag necklace he was wearing. Then he removed the plate and reached for the nape of Heeheon’s neck.

Heeheon flinched his neck slightly. He figured it would be useless to tell him that not carrying a dog tag was grounds for disciplinary action. There was no way he didn’t know. In the end, he took Heeheon’s necklace, undid the clasp, and threaded his own dog tag onto the chain.

“Wear it. Always.”

He placed the necklace over Heeheon’s head.

Cha Moogyul. Baek Heeheon.

The two plates overlapped, clinking together.

Only one thin plate had been added, but his neck felt heavy and constricted, as if weighed down by an iron weight.

As if satisfied, he tapped the dog tag dangling in the center of Heeheon’s chest with his hand. The tags clinked against each other like a bell on a collar. Looking at his handsome, smiling face, like a scene from a classic black-and-white film, a contradictory feeling crept over him.

‘…Ha.’

Who would have ever dared to guess.

That Cha Moogyul, the essence of all superiority that exists in the world, the distant being he thought he could never reach, Cha Moogyul…

“You… I think you’re a little obsessed with me…”

If he were to say this to the Baek Heeheon of the past, it wouldn’t even have been a joke absurd enough to laugh off, but this was the reality Heeheon was now facing.

Looking at it the other way, it meant that Cha Moogyul had been that thorough in hiding his true intentions until now. And perhaps, it meant that he had given Heeheon that many chances. To behave properly while he was holding back. Not to flinch or run away, but to make eye contact…

What if Heeheon hadn’t avoided him? If, after their reunion, he had treated him normally and affectionately without showing any reluctance, would the result be a little different now? What kind of conversation would he be having with him right now?

“You’re probably right. Obsession.”

His hand cupped Heeheon’s cheek. He traced his jaw, which had become a little sharper from the weight loss, then gently tickled his lips, plump from being kissed so much by him, with his thumb. They were red and swollen from the constant kisses he received.

“Hey… What do you mean you’re right. You’re supposed to say no.”

“I haven’t lost my objectivity, you know. I’m also aware that I’m doing something to you that I shouldn’t. I’ll ask for your understanding on that part.”

“…”

“And just to let you know, I’m quite surprised myself.”

“About what…”

“Haha, you think I would’ve known? That I would become like this.”

Even as he thought that his languid laugh was maddeningly pleasant to hear, and his gentle, smiling face with softly curved eyes was ecstatically beautiful to look at, Heeheon’s mood sank lower and lower. It was complicated.

‘Is he satisfied, I wonder. Since it turned out the way he wanted in the end.’

As you can see, Baek Heeheon was caught by Cha Moogyul. Now he treats Heeheon as he pleases. He can fuck him as much as he wants. It wasn’t a leash, but he just put a leash-like dog tag around Baek Heeheon’s neck. He was being treated completely like a possession in his hands. He even wondered if he was pleased with that treatment.

“Hyung.”

“…”

“Heeheon-ah, aren’t you going to answer?”

“…Don’t call me that, seriously.”

“Should we kiss?”

“Heh…”

At those words, his lips parted, and a hollow breath escaped. Heeheon gently furrowed his brow and retorted in a sullen tone.

“You’re not just going to kiss me.”

“That’s right.”

“Don’t. My stomach feels tender… I’m still.”

“Still what, feel like you’re still being fucked?”

“…I’m tired. Still.”

In truth, the real problem wasn’t Cha Moogyul.

It was Baek Heeheon who was finding it increasingly difficult to deal with Cha Moogyul. Of course, he had always been a difficult person to deal with, but recently, since spending time with him without a moment’s separation, it felt like he was slowly drowning.

‘Why, of all people, was it me.’

Why does Cha Moogyul say he only has Baek Heeheon? How did it come to be like that?

Since that day, Heeheon had been lost in thought for a very long time, confined to the workshop in his small brain. He went back over every memory from the residential district, from when he first met him eight years ago to five years ago, before he manifested as an Awakened. Like a detective searching for a culprit, he lit a fire in his eyes and searched for a memory that could be a suspect.

But the result was a fool’s errand.

The motive that made Cha Moogyul harbor such an extreme and fierce obsession with Heeheon was a blank. That tangled knot wouldn’t come undone. If he could, he wanted to ask someone else for the answer. How Cha Moogyul had spent the last eight years that Heeheon had spent in hesitation and reluctance. His past, his point of contact with Baek Heeheon, what had happened, and how that had affected Cha Moogyul. He wanted to ask everything.

The questions led to more questions. There was no end to them when he tried to examine them one by one. In what sense, how, how much, until now, why did Cha Moogyul, Baek Heeheon…

“Right, you must be tired, hyung. I have no intention of denying it.”

As Heeheon kept his lips firmly shut, the thumb that was touching his lower lip began to pry its way between them. He put his finger in Heeheon’s mouth and slowly rubbed his tongue. In any case, Cha Moogyul would do it even if Heeheon didn’t comply.

“Eut. Uk.”

“I’m sorry for fucking you like an animal in heat every time I open my eyes… But I don’t know with what kind of patience I managed to suppress this until now.”

He had always looked away, but Heeheon had wanted him for a long, long time, to the point of longing. He wanted to be with him even though he knew it could never happen.

But now that he was actually with him, it felt like wearing clothes that didn’t fit. Even though Cha Moogyul doted on him, kissed him, held him, smiled at him, and even took care of the trivial details of his daily life. When he opened his eyes, Cha Moogyul was in the same bed, and when he closed his eyes, Cha Moogyul was in the same bed, but Heeheon’s heart was just silently twisting.

Looking at the shell of it, being with him all day long should have been the dream he had wished for, but when he mulled over his situation, strangely, he was still underwater. He couldn’t breathe, and he became excessively lonely and distressed.

Actually, he knew. He knew that his feelings for him were based on disgust and antipathy.

He wanted to capture and break Heeheon. Out of a perverse desire for the fleeing Heeheon, he wanted to possess him instead. Looking back, the clues he had shown were only of that kind. Reverse imprinting, death threats, breaking him, a leash, breaking his legs, violence, restraint… Too many to count on one hand.

What he held in his heart, even if it wasn’t because of the guiding, was still a completely different form from Heeheon’s worn-out affection.

As you can see, every minute, every second with Cha Moogyul, and even while their bodies were mixed together, there wasn’t a single moment where Heeheon’s will could intervene. Heeheon’s opinion didn’t matter. So Heeheon’s feelings were even more unnecessary.

His feelings, with nowhere to go, were still hidden in the deepest, most private part of his heart. The situation where he couldn’t even dare to show those feelings to Cha Moogyul was the same. Even if he liked him, he couldn’t say it, and saying it wouldn’t make the hurt he received disappear.

“No, Cha Moogyul, you, you’re busy… Don’t you have to work?”

Heeheon turned his head, spat out his finger, and spouted whatever came to mind. It was obvious he would be taken again like this, but he wanted to buy even a few seconds of time.

“Training, don’t you train anymore? You have to take care of the group’s work too.”

“Ha, there you go again, hyung. Don’t you get tired of it.”

Cha Moogyul used the arm he was holding to naturally push Heeheon down onto the bed. Heeheon wanted to stop lying down so much. There was no way he could just welcome it when he was already so distraught.

“I told you to give up… No. Should I be more direct about it.”

His black hair fell over Heeheon as he pushed him down from above. It tickled his forehead.

“Right now, you’re my top priority, hyung.”