Dirty Sweet Baby Chapter 89

“……”

Seventeen-year-old Heeheon’s eyes drifted downward. Into his lowered field of vision came the wedding ring shining brilliantly on his mother’s left ring finger. The large diamond, undoubtedly the fruit of love, looked radiant.

He continued to watch it, but suddenly, the shape of the ring changed.

“If you take it off, I won’t leave you be.”

Before he knew it, the place had changed, and so had Cha Moogyul—into the grown-up version of Cha Moogyul.

“You’ll get it. Big time.”

Then, a smooth platinum ring, free of any impurities, was slipped onto Heeheon’s ring finger. When he twitched his fingertips slightly, the silver surface sparkled, reflecting the light from a different angle.

Lifting his head abruptly, Heeheon stared blankly at Cha Moogyul. A weary question he had pondered many times followed.

What on earth was he thinking when he put the ring on him? Was there truly no special affection or fondness involved at all? Was he feeling even a glimmer of something similar to the emotions Heeheon harbored for him?

‘What happens if I take it off, and what happens if I don’t?’

This kind of doubt wasn’t something that could be resolved just by clutching the ring. He would have to run out further and boldly leap over the blocking fence to find out.

What would truly happen?

If he broke down the wall he had built in loneliness and chased after him… would he be able to catch him? If he caught him, could he receive something more than a ring—for example, Cha Moogyul himself, his life?

A life partner.

Each other’s other half.

A companion.

Could they define each other through a relationship named as such…?

‘Ah. How frustrating.’

Heeheon bit the inside of his mouth. The habit of gnawing on it, almost instinctively, was vividly reproduced.

‘This kind of thing is just a dream anyway.’

It isn’t reality.

It is a bubble. A mirage that will melt away and disappear.

It is merely a memory of the past summoned by the subconscious, so why does he repeat the same worries and thoughts from those days? The Cha Moogyul before his eyes now, the Cha Moogyul holding the ring, was also nothing more than an illusion that would vanish futilely upon waking.

“Then.”

The Heeheon inside the dream mustered the courage to find his voice.

“You don’t take yours off either. The ring.”

Whatever words he spat out now would only remain with him; they wouldn’t reach the Cha Moogyul of reality. Nevertheless, seeing himself hesitating over him, biting his cheek, and wavering while tasting the same blood made him feel so pathetic that his expression contorted sharply.

“Hold on tight.”

Heeheon’s life might be too short for him to have gained enough realization. Everything he had passed through was merely trial and error, and looking back, it was only stained with disappointment and self-reproach. He was never perfect, never thorough; he collapsed, rolled, got hurt, felt pain, and repeatedly did nothing but regret.

Because it was fake. Because he hadn’t been living the life he truly wanted.

Looking back now, Baek Heeheon was entirely full of shams.

“And, not just the ring, but us…”

He wants to enter those black eyes of his that resemble a lonely night. He wants to sink into and be submerged in that heart of his, which he could never fathom before. He wants to ask him, answer him, and reach somewhere together. He wants to build a life and achieve something. The sparks of this desire burned with unbearable heat, scorching Heeheon’s mind.

“Let’s… hold onto each other.”

After leaving countless scars, screaming and despairing, they had finally reached the fact that they only had each other.

If so, it was only right to rush toward him, even if it meant colliding and breaking.

Even if the responsibility on Heeheon’s shoulders was heavy, even if he had to leave his worried mother behind, the moment had finally come when he had to run forward. Because he liked him. Because he loved him. With that one heart.

The blank space until the undetermined, distant future. For a lifetime. Until the end.

By his side, holding his hand, truly doing his best…

Having finished what he needed to say, Heeheon slowly raised his head to check his face. He couldn’t hide his anxiety. It felt as if this dream would crumble in an instant and he would fall into the chronic nightmare that plagued him.

At that very moment, Cha Moogyul’s face blurred softly.

Cha Moogyul, smiling so radiantly it couldn’t be explained unless it was a dream, opened his arms wide to Heeheon. Without a moment’s hesitation, Heeheon ran into his embrace, and they both laughed brightly, drenched in joy as they looked at each other.

Their gathered hearts, the gaze they exchanged—the two were soon one.

His throat felt tight.

As his consciousness gradually cleared, the remnants of the dream gathered and slowly sank. As everything blurred, Heeheon opened his eyes alone in the darkness. He had awoken from a sweet dream.

His pinky finger twitched. Following that, his eyelids trembled slightly. They felt heavier than a thousand pounds.

Buried in deep darkness, Heeheon forced his dry eyes open narrowly, and as his vision gradually adjusted to the environment, the surrounding objects began to appear.

It was the familiar sight of the bedroom.

Perhaps because Cha Moogyul had taken care of it, the bedding was all new, so crisp and clean it made a rustling sound. A faint scent of body wash drifted from his body as well. It was the citrus and musky-woody scent that Cha Moogyul always used.

‘Where is Cha Moogyul?’

Heeheon moved his arm to sweep over the side of the large bed. His joints felt as if they were shattering. Every muscle in his body ached as if he had been beaten severely by someone, and his waist felt stiff as if it were broken. His body was screaming, but more than that, Heeheon was concerned about the fact that the spot next to him was empty.

‘Cha Moogyul…’

Where did he go?

Heeheon tried to push his body up, creaking like a newborn fawn. As he forced his stiff body to move, a dull, throbbing pain rose from his waist. His body cried out. Heeheon let out a small groan, stifling a gasp.

“Ugh…”

His severely cracked throat let out a wretched sound. Because he had groaned and cried out without rest last night, a raspy sound came out as if his throat had been scraped. It seemed he had gone completely hoarse.

To be honest, he didn’t feel very good. The space without Cha Moogyul was surprisingly displeasing and disappointing. He felt so uncomfortable that his face contorted involuntarily, and his heart began to thumping a little faster. He wondered if he had become this vulnerable to his absence already.

But, just then. He discovered a tall silhouette standing by the doorway.

At the edge of the darkened bedroom, in a deep corner, a pair of eyes glowing in isolation were watching Heeheon. They were unsettling eyes that shone brilliantly.

Silent as a ghost, Cha Moogyul stood there motionless.

Startled, Heeheon gripped the blanket tightly. Was he, perhaps, seeing things?

Suddenly, something from a long time ago came to mind. Back when Heeheon was severely ill, suffering from a high fever for several days, he used to occasionally witness illusions of Cha Moogyul in the corner of the room. At the time, he didn’t know if it was mental illness or a dream, and it had just faded away because he was in so much pain.

Heeheon let out a self-deprecating breath. He thought to himself that he sees Cha Moogyul in his dreams, sees Cha Moogyul in hallucinations, and thinks only of Cha Moogyul whether subconsciously or consciously. Calming his startled heart, Heeheon raised his head and stared at him.

Cha Moogyul was dressed only in a black robe with the belt tied loosely, and he just silently watched Heeheon huddled on the bed. With independent eyes that harbored a wildness, like a wild animal wandering without a home.

Before long, his brow furrowed slightly. And truly surprisingly and unbelievably, his pitch-black eyes were the first to avoid Heeheon’s gaze. Then, he moved his feet.

Walking across the bedroom, he stopped at the window. He reached out and pulled back the curtain, and sunlight so bright it made his eyes sting poured in through the blackout curtains.

“Ugh…”

Frowning, Heeheon turned his head to avoid the light. It was an autumn midday. The sky was clear, the sun was white, and the world was so vivid he could even see the dust floating in the air.

Only then could he be certain. That the Cha Moogyul he thought was a hallucination was actually Cha Moogyul himself. Startled once again, Heeheon parted his lips in embarrassment.

‘Why… why was he standing in the dark corner?’

To be honest, it felt a bit bizarre. Why on earth would Cha Moogyul be watching Heeheon from a distant corner, without even turning on a light? Like someone who had committed something they shouldn’t have, or like someone peeping in secret…

“You woke up early.”

Cha Moogyul murmured lowly. It might have been his imagination, but a hint of self-derision was buried in his deeply subdued voice.

“It looks like you were suffering from a nightmare again.”

“Huh…? No, not really.”

A nightmare… it wasn’t like that. Rather, it was a good dream.

“You don’t seem to realize it yourself, but you whimper every time you sleep, Hyung.”

“I do that?”

“Yeah.”

If he whined, in what way? Did he mean he talked in his sleep or something? Heeheon’s expression contorted uneasily. He felt embarrassed, wondering if he had babbled something useless.

“Like some puppy who lost its mother… whimpering, whined.”

“……”

“It’s not just been a day or two. I wake up whenever I hear that sound.”