Cold City Romance Chapter 11.10

An elemental is from the beginning not a living being but a lump of desire and a convergence of thoughts and wishes. Even though there is no sadness or pain in removing and disappearing it, Hyun Jaehwi was hesitating before the thought body with Cha Dokyung’s face.

Once again, Hyun Jaehwi, who had firmly made up his mind, finally revealed pure and high-density pheromones. The aggressive perceptual ability exposed a ferocious solemn killing energy like a blade full of murderous intent. That frightening and intimidating aura was merciless and sharp like a honed blade. With one large hand, he gripped the long and elegant Cha Dokyung’s neck.

The neck, where pheromone sensory organs and nerves are densely concentrated, is a body part that can reach the brain and nerves with the most immediate ability.

At that intimidating touch, red lips panted roughly. The pretty lips, which had just been in a lip touch, were glistening and wet from saliva. As Hyun Jaehwi gripped the neck without delay, the thought body foreseeing its final moment closed its two eyes moist with moisture.

As Hyun Jaehwi began to use his ability, tears fell drop by drop along the cheeks with closed eyes. Seeing those lonely and pitiful tears, his dark pupils shook silently. The final blow was being delayed.

At that moment, Hyun Jaehwi stopped his movement as if something had come to mind. Just before the consciousness body disappeared in the state right before disappearance, the one gripping the thought body’s neck momentarily delayed the final killing intent.

As if there was something he absolutely had to confirm one last time, Hyun Jaehwi urgently held the thought body and asked.

“Yes, surely you remember that, right?”

He wanted to hear those words one more time. Because that promise must never become words that do not exist in the world.

“What promise the reason-lost Cha Dokyung made to me after knotting……”

Reason does not remember, but if it was something his instinct unconsciously uttered, the thought body could not possibly not know it.

He had to confirm whether he had really heard those words or if it was an illusion or hallucination. It absolutely must not be a mistake or a hallucination of Cha Dokyung that he himself had created in madness from pleasure after knotting. Someone had to prove it so that it did not become nonsense that did not exist in the world.

“If you remember, say it! Hurry!”

Hyun Jaehwi shouted savagely while gripping the neck.

Eyes, nose, lips, the bright red flushed clear cheeks……. The thought body losing strength and disappearing had exactly the same face as Cha Dokyung in that moment after knotting, shedding tears below him. It was to the point of illusion as if the thought body was exactly re-enacting Cha Dokyung who had been nestled in his arms after knotting right before his eyes.

The thought body, with its neck gripped in Hyun Jaehwi’s hand, parted its lips slightly.

“Jaehwi ya……. If we have a child, let’s go live in a place where no one knows. Because I’ve run non-stop for over ten years conscious of people’s gazes, not the cold city but in a forest like this, build a house like this, in a place where no one knows.”

“……”

“I want to live like you and those two.”

The thought body uttered exactly the words that Hyun Jaehwi had heard from Cha Dokyung, without missing a single syllable, as if re-enacting that situation.

Once again, his tattered heart tore apart. He had uttered such a true promise to him.

With those lips, he had said let’s have our child. The one who had whispered such true love, once regaining reason, screamed that he would not live with him, swallowed the pill over and over, and erased and aborted the child in his belly.

Hyun Jaehwi shouted in anger.

“The real Cha Dokyung remembers nothing!”

He resumed the disappearance ritual again with frenzied murderous intent.

“If a thought body like you remembers that, but the real Cha Dokyung does not remember, what meaning does it have! Haha, fuck……. That stuff is all fake.”

The disappearing thought body dropped tears drop by drop and said with difficulty.

“Everything I say and feel all comes entirely from him……. I want what he wants. Because he likes you, I like you too.”

The thought body touched Hyun Jaehwi’s face just like the real Cha Dokyung. It gently caressed the strong and beautiful man’s desperate tears with pale fingertips.

“If he’s sad, I’m sad too……. Jaehwi ya, don’t cry. Seeing you cry makes my heart feel like it’s tearing apart.”

In that instant, Hyun Jaehwi could not distinguish at all, with anything, with any sensation, whether it was the real Cha Dokyung’s words or what his thought body was saying.

The thought body clutching its chest and distorting its face ultimately disappeared in the final killing intent.

Like a lie, Cha Dokyung’s body, having lost consciousness, toppled onto the bed like a doll.

Hyun Jaehwi’s tears fell drop by drop onto the cheek of Cha Dokyung sleeping on the bed having lost consciousness, while endlessly gazing at him.

For over the past ten years, Cha Dokyung had lived inside Hyun Jaehwi only with that pure white illusion.

The person who had let him forget the horrific reality in that sharp and vivid world of pheromones that suddenly came one day, in that new white dream. The one and only person who had saved the lonely and fearful boy during his manifestation period…….

Hyun Jaehwi had sent off his precious first love that he had cherished for so long. The one who had lived inside him was now dead. He would erase everything. Now, it was forever farewell from such vain and futile illusions.

A faint and distant pure white lily fragrance circled the tip of his nose like a lie and then scattered blankly.