Cold City Romance Chapter 11.2

“I think I’ve become tainted too. I don’t know why I’ve changed like this. It feels like I’m starting to resemble those people who only taught me bad things and hurt me.”

At the unexpected remark, Director Moon let out a hearty laugh.

“That’s not it. I know you well, and truly bad guys never admit anything like that.”

“……”

“Dokyung, even if you’ve become stained, only someone wearing clean clothes can notice it. A dirty guy doesn’t even realize he’s dirty even if filth splashes onto his dirty clothes.”

He did not know when they had drunk so much. As they reminisced about the past and talked, empty bottles were already piling up quickly.

“I’m sorry. I’m saying all sorts of nonsense because I’m drunk……. Director, if you’re done talking, I’ll head back now.”

“Dokyung. It’s late, and the villa is empty, so stay the night. Our bride changed all the bedding to new ones because you were coming.”

Cha Dokyung looked at Director Moon, who even in middle age called his wife “our bride” in an unusually affectionate way with gentle eyes, and smiled faintly.

“I’m fine……”

However, contrary to his words that he was fine, since he had drunk a lot after a long time, when he stood up from his seat, the intoxication spun around dizzily. Looking at the clock, it was an ambiguous time to call his manager.

“Anyway, after this month passes, we’ll wrap up the villa and head up to Seoul……. Think of it as a commemoration for the closing, and stay one night. When else would I invite you to my home like this.”

“……”

“The scenery here is really nice. It’s even better if you take a walk in the morning……. When you wake up, the sound of the valley stream and the birds chirping is so tender and pretty, you won’t believe it. Think of leaving behind all the suffocation from the harsh city life during that time, and rest before you go. If I just send you off heartlessly like this, my bride will scold me.”

He thought that he wanted to age exactly like that.

“You two look really good together.”

Director Moon smiled without a word. The smile that was still untainted even in middle age kept reminding him of someone he knew.

This charming and serene standalone villa, separated from the annex house where Director Moon and his wife resided, guaranteed complete privacy.

According to what the director said, it was just called villa operation, but it was not a business aimed at making money, and they did not accept just any guests. Mainly, when acquaintances from the broadcasting or film side or people with connections stopped by Hwai Mountain once in a while, it had continued as the leisurely, desire-free generosity of the couple providing a comfortable place to stay.

As befitting a lodging facility, Cha Dokyung simply washed his body with the toiletries provided in the villa’s bathroom and then sprawled out on the bed just like that. The warm sunlight scent vibrating from the new blanket dried in the sun was cozy.

As the tension released, muscle aches came rushing to his entire body thanks to the continuous grueling practice. He was in a state where the intoxication had risen hazily. Since the riding arena and swordsmanship training ground were not far from here, he could sleep here today and head straight to the training ground in the morning.

Opening the window by the bedside, the fresh and cool forest scent was refreshing. The sounds of birds and grasshoppers were as endearing as in a countryside home.

He hoped the filming would start quickly and that a year would pass. He wanted to immerse himself solely in acting without any thoughts.

Even though he was the one who said they should end it, he could not understand why the guy who had not contacted him for over a month felt so cruel.

There was now only one month left until they started filming in Taebaek Mountain. Yes, it was all for the best.

Why had he thought of that kid throughout the entire conversation with Director Moon Jeongho?

It was not because the kid resembled Director Moon. Even though Director Moon, who even as he aged always looked at only his first love wife with a pure and untainted smile, he had to find the kid’s image in him to that extent……. In fact, he might not have known that he was missing the kid.

It was not that he missed sex, or pheromones, or the body. What Cha Dokyung had been thinking about throughout the past month was that movie they had watched together after the last time they had an affair. Every time that happened, Cha Dokyung replayed that boring and strange French movie several times. Then, the fluttering afterglow and sensations from that day would come back to life exactly as they were.

He truly felt that he was drunk.

The kid’s smile, with his long eyes curving refreshingly like a boy, came to mind. The heat and body scent of that hot body came pushing from the edges of his memory distantly. His heart began to throb rapidly as if it would burst. The tension of that throbbing excitement and even fear was so unfamiliar to him that the kid made him uncomfortable. That was exhausting to the point of fatigue.

The emotions and sensations he was feeling for the first time in his life past thirty were no small annoyance and discomfort. Even though he was much more adult than him at this age, he hated himself for being conscious of even the kid’s breathing.

When he was with the kid, he simultaneously felt an impatient and anxious premonition that everything would disappear like a mirage soon, like the distant abyss pheromones he possessed. He did not like that either.

From the beginning, he was a guy who had firmly declared that he would return to America where he had connections. Since he was someone who would leave anyway, it was right to cut ties quickly. Moreover, he had received a warning from Hyun Kangwoo not to betray him and that he would trust him. With the kid, it was truly over due to force majeure now.

Cha Dokyung had pursued stability for the past ten years. In the unstable entertainment industry, hiding the fact that he was an omega, and always living in constant anxiety with the bothersome disturbance attached like a tail. Since it was an anxious life not knowing when he might fall, stability always occupied the highest priority among all choices. Above all, he needed people who gave him stability.

As Director Moon said, Chairman Hyun was the most excellent and stable backing in his life. It was not a matter of choice but of survival. Without that strong connection, he might have been buried long ago and had to quit acting.

What about his father, the hospital director under the HK Medical Foundation, who was always anxious about falling out of Chairman Hyun’s favor, and his mother, a professor who inwardly expected the deanship at the affiliated university through that connection?

Hyun Kangwoo was the most reassuring brother in the world and a friend more comfortable and solid than anyone. So, in this anxious life where he did not know when he might fall, he desperately needed them like grasping at straws.

“Haa, it hurts……”

His heart suddenly throbbed uncontrollably fast and then ached with a throbbing pain he could not endure. From some point, whenever he thought of the kid, the deep inside of his solar plexus began to tingle. His chest felt unbearably tight.

At this age, he did not need intense throbbings or excitements, or a feverish pain like his heart would burst. Yet, he wanted to see the kid’s smiling face and hear that soft voice that made his lower abdomen itch madly. It was as if he had caught a disease where this pain would be washed away if he did.

Because his heart throbbed so painfully, he curled his back toward the corner of the bed and lay down. It was when he burrowed into the new white blanket that had been thoroughly dried in the sun. At that moment, for the first time in several months, that sudden hallucination voice came to find him.

『……I can’t endure it. Bring the real one…….』

Cha Dokyung clutched his aching heart and panted like a madman. It had been so long that the tyrant’s hallucination voice felt so unfamiliar and strange.

『Now that I’ve tasted the real pheromones, know that pushing cheap fakes in front of me won’t work anymore.』

The disturbance had not disappeared.

Humans were undoubtedly laughable animals of forgetfulness. Thanks to the complete absence of any signs for the past several months, he had completely forgotten about the existence of the disturbance. No, he might have wanted to believe that the disturbance had washed away clean.

Cha Dokyung, faced with his other disturbance personality that had come after several months, felt it so heterogeneous and novel that he could not move a hand or foot and just blankly stared at the high ceiling for a long time.

During the time with Hyun Jaehwi, that vivid hallucination voice that had been dead silent came swirling like a vortex through his entire body, not knowing if it was a dream or reality.

Clutching his aching heart once more, he answered with resignation to that fate, feeling drained.

“Haa, what is the real one……”

『Don’t pretend you don’t know. Now, you know better than I do what that is. Looking at you, you can’t do with anyone else either.』

“……”

『Bring Hyun Jaehwi right now.』

Through the cell phone, the two people had no words for each other.

Only Cha Dokyung’s precarious breathing, gasping roughly, echoed through the speaker.

Even though the other party had not said a single word, Hyun Jaehwi knew who the caller was from the displayed number. However, they were just delaying the arduous first words, holding onto the call that had come for the first time after more than a month had passed.

Cha Dokyung held back his scattering breath and murmured.

“The disturbance…… has come back.”

[……]

“I’m sorry. For calling at such a late hour……”

It was close to three in the morning. It was an apology with ambiguous intent. After a long silence, Hyun Jaehwi finally opened his mouth.

[Just answer that.]

“……”

[So, do you need me now? If it’s not me, it won’t do?]

Cha Dokyung closed his eyes and just quietly listened to that velvet-like soft and low voice. Only then did it feel like his suppressed breath was slowly easing.

I wanted to hear your voice.

“……I need you.”

[Where are you at this late dawn, that place……]

The low voice that rang manly was subtly sharp. In his tone, there was a thick suspicion interrogating the other party.

“It’s far. Hwachon……”

[……]

“Hwachon. Villa……”

The silence was frightening. He hoped the kid would say anything quickly. It was hard to endure that silence any longer. So, he clung on impudently.

“The disturbance has started, and I’m here alone……. So, come pick me up quickly.”

Hyun Jaehwi answered like that after a long while.

[Don’t drag anyone else in, and stay quietly there until I come.]

Had an hour passed? Or two hours. He did not know. He could not tell how much time had flowed. Time felt like a long current and flowed very slowly.

In the standalone villa quite far from the annex where Director Moon Jeongho and his wife resided, Cha Dokyung was waiting for him alone, shut in as he said, quietly and obediently.

However, his disturbance was not cooperative. The hallucination voice raging like a storm clamored and made a fuss like a mad tyrant to bring him quickly. It endlessly repeated that it absolutely would not do with anyone other than the real one. He was gradually being brainwashed by that hallucination voice. Already, it seemed like it absolutely had to be that kid.

You are not, I cannot do without that kid.

Cha Dokyung bathed in the large hinoki bathtub filled with warm water, still wearing his shirt and pants, just like that. He realized that if he submerged his head, that sound did not come through. He had learned one useful method.

This sound ends if it’s drowned in water.

He repeatedly dunked his head in and out to escape the hallucination voice countless times. The pheromones also disturbed at will. All the confusing and dual things mixed as if they would blend but did not. That was precisely the definition and essence of the disturbance.

To the beast-like sexual desire that came uncontrollably, Cha Dokyung masturbated several times, using that voice from earlier as an appetizer.

After a long while, the sound of shoe footsteps came. Through the open door crack, a rough presence of someone entering was heard. It seemed he had found the address he had been told properly. The man began to search every room of the villa thoroughly to find the troublesome guy who was nowhere to be seen.

“Everywhere is full of damn lily scent.”

Muttering something incomprehensible lowly in front of the door, he opened the closed bathroom door. Hot steam was thick.

The man in a pitch-black suit stood quietly in front of the door, gazing at Cha Dokyung, who was leaning in the bathtub full of water, still wearing his clothes, soaked from head to toe.

The intimidating man’s body, stretched straight with perfect frame, slowly approached the bathtub. The sound of his shoe footsteps echoed clearly in the silent bathroom. He said.

“What the hell are you doing. This.”

Cha Dokyung, who had his head thrown back and leaning in the bathtub, swept back his thoroughly wet hair. He could not tell if it was because he was drunk on alcohol or drunk on the disturbance.

“That’s what I want to ask you……”