Cold City Romance Chapter 17.2

…You are the Colonel?

Hyun Jaehwi, I do not know who you are. I know nothing about you.

Does that place called the institution really exist? Where on earth do I have to go to find you who left for that place? Even if I want to go find you, I cannot find you… What kind of fucking law is there in the world like this.

Cha Dokyung kept calling again and again. He knew no other way. However, the power was already off.

He called countless times, repeating it for a long while, but no matter how much time passed, he still did not answer Cha Dokyung’s calls.

“What brings you here at this late hour, coming to find me and all…”

She opened the heavy door of the penthouse in the building she owned, her long-time residence. Hyeon Serin came out from the bedroom and greeted the sudden uninvited guest at this late hour in her silk gown.

Cha Dokyung’s appearance in front of the door was indescribable.

A pallid, bloodless complexion. His face, gaunt to the point of being unrecognizable, with eyes swollen red and messed up, looked far more sensitive and frail than his usual elegant demeanor. The gaze staring blankly at the other person seemed precarious, as if it would shatter. The man standing in front of the door looked somehow like a person who had pathetically collapsed.

Cha Dokyung was dressed in a plain to the point of being unadorned, unkempt attire that looked like he had just rushed out of the house without any grooming.

“You didn’t come like that, did you? No one recognized you?”

Nevertheless, Cha Dokyung possessed an unusually conspicuous demeanor and distinct aura that immediately made one realize he was a celebrity. Due to his gaunt face, his characteristic noble facial lines and lofty atmosphere stood out even more. It was as if he had deliberately put on shabby makeup to film in plain and worn-out attire.

An old T-shirt with jeans, worn sneakers that looked crumpled at the heels as if he had hurried over, disheveled hair, a clear and pale face without a trace of makeup, that unadorned plain attire ironically resembled the Cha Dokyung from their university days when they used to hang out together all the time.

“Time seems to have skipped over only oppa…”

Hyeon Serin pitifully caressed the prickly face of the one-year-older man that stirred her maternal instincts. His dry red lips were chapped in a heartbreaking way.

“Come in quickly. You, who hates causing trouble to others even if it kills you, what on earth is going on at this hour.”

Hyeon Serin pretended to be afraid that others might see and quickly locked the front door.

Hyeon Serin led Cha Dokyung and sat him down on the sofa in the middle of the grand penthouse living room. Before he could even catch his breath, Cha Dokyung spoke first.

“Serin-ah, where do I have to go to meet Jaehwi?”

With a bloodless, impassive face, Cha Dokyung asked that right away, and Hyeon Serin had a dumbfounded expression at his question.

“Out of nowhere, what are you talking about.”

“KAngwoo is on his honeymoon and not in Korea, so you’re the only one I can ask like this.”

“…”

“Where do I have to go to meet Jaehwi?”

“…”

“If he goes back to that institution in America. He won’t return to Korea for several more years again?”

“…Institution?”

Hyeon Serin’s eyes turned serious in an instant.

“Oppa knew too? Why Jaehwi has to go back to America?”

“…”

“That he bears some kind of responsibility and duty, oppa knows that too, right?”

Cha Dokyung nodded with a detached face.

“He said he’s not in Korea right now.”

“…”

“Jaehwi went back, right? America… Where on earth do I have to go to find that kid?”

Hyeon Serin answered curtly, as if drawing a line.

“You can just call Jaehwi directly for that.”

“He’s not answering my calls.”

“…”

“He told me not to contact him ever again.”

Cha Dokyung pleaded desperately, infusing his dry and rough face with urgency.

“Serin-ah, tell me.”

“…”

“I have to meet that kid. I have something I absolutely have to say when I meet him. I want to meet him, but I don’t know where to go… You know everything, don’t you?”

Hyeon Serin stared piercingly at Cha Dokyung. Like a person trying to see through his sincerity.

“Oppa, why are you doing this… I need to know the reason too.”

As if she would not entertain him at all if what she saw was not sincerity. She had the face of a strict judge.

“If I tell you the reason I’m doing this… Will you tell me?”

“…”

“Why I’m coming to you in this state late at night, desperately wandering around searching for Jaehwi.”

“Alright, but tell me honestly without any lies.”

To the quick-witted Hyeon Serin, tricks or cunning wouldn’t work. He thought that only by showing his true heartfelt feelings would Serin tell him the truth. He was that desperate.

“Serin-ah, you really don’t know?”

“…”

“I like Jaehwi.”

By confessing this heartfelt truth to Hyeon Serin, which he hadn’t even conveyed to Hyun Jaehwi himself, he finally realized it.

…Ah, so that’s how it was.

When he uttered the three syllables of “I like you” out of his mouth for the first time in his life, exhaling the feelings he had suppressed into the world, Cha Dokyung finally realized belatedly, like a fool. The fact that the order was not just wrong, but terribly wrong.

So that’s why you rejected sex with me and coldly turned away from me.

Because I’m a person who’s somehow thoroughly broken and wrong…

“Serin-ah, I thought you knew everything.”

At Cha Dokyung’s sudden confession, Hyeon Serin let out a perplexed sigh with a surprised expression.

“Of course I knew… What don’t I know. The circumstances are obvious.”

“…”

“Do you know how obvious the two of you were?”

“…We were obvious?”

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you and Jaehwi were conscious of each other? That subtle sexual tension between the two of you, not being able to tear your gazes away even when your eyes just met…”

“…”

“I haven’t been watching you two for just a year or two. Even if others don’t know, I could see it all in my eyes, why wouldn’t I know?”

“…”

“Still, I really didn’t expect Cha Dokyung, who never says his true feelings no matter what, to come to me and pour out that story so honestly like this.”

“…”

“I thought you’d take that to your grave…”

“…”

“Wasn’t your relationship with him sorted out four years ago?”

As expected, she knew exactly. Just as she said, there was nothing Hyeon Serin didn’t know.

“That’s already several years ago? Are you two still doing this because you can’t forget each other?”

“…”

“Did you foolishly wait until Hyeon Kangwoo got married?”

Hyeon Serin’s frustrated expression turned irritable.

“This isn’t filming a movie. You two. What are you doing right now.”

A barrage of questions poured down, but he couldn’t give any answer.

Cha Dokyung’s eyes reddened and grew wet.

“Serin-ah, I… like Jaehwi a lot.”

“…”

The words “I like you.” The words that he liked him so much he had imprinted on him. The words that for the past several years, he had waited for him there without forgetting.

“But I couldn’t say those words.”

Out of fear. Because he clearly knew he would be rejected, because he knew he would be disgusted and hated, he was too afraid…

Instead of talking about his true feelings, he said that since there was no time, he should come inside him and rape and violate him. Anyway, he was someone who would leave soon in a few days. He just asked to have sex so he could confirm the warmth until he left. And yet, he really didn’t know at all what was wrong.

Because he’s a person whose heart is broken and sick like this, that’s why the kid’s affection has waned and he’s grown tired of it.

“…Oppa, are you crying?”

He had no desire whatsoever to cry in front of Serin, who was like a little sister. It was so embarrassing and shameful that he couldn’t even lift his head. But why couldn’t he stop the tears. It was just uttering the one phrase “I like you” out of his mouth.

I get it. Because that is my tender true heart that I had hidden away tightly. Because it was the first time bringing out into the world the living, breathing true feelings without a shred of falsehood, the inner thoughts that he had only suppressed and concealed.

“The person in front of me right now… Is he really Cha Dokyung?”

Hyeon Serin approached Cha Dokyung, who was suppressing his emotions to the end, unable to show them properly, dropping tears silently with an expressionless, dry face.

She embraced him like an older sister and patted him.

“Who is Cha Dokyung… How much must he like someone to do this to me.”

“…”

“Like a fool, why didn’t you say it, you frustrating person… If you don’t say it, no one knows! From childhood, you were always like that, not saying anything. Bearing all the hate and misunderstandings from people alone, not making dull excuses, not talking about your true feelings until the end. Always keeping your mouth shut by yourself… Do you know how frustrated I was because of that?”

“…”

“Do you know how much people badmouthed Cha Dokyung behind his back? Do you know how busy I was making excuses behind his back that my oppa isn’t that kind of person?”

“…”

“Why do you try to shoulder everything alone? Then, who will understand?”

“I’m sorry… Serin-ah, I’m sorry for everything.”

“The power is off. He’s not answering my calls. It’s too late at night.”

“…”

“Jaehwi hasn’t left for America yet.”

At those words, Cha Dokyung lifted his lowered head as if reacting.

“Hyun Jaehwi is leaving on a flight tomorrow evening. He finishes the last family dinner with his father in the afternoon and then takes the evening flight straight to America.”

“He hasn’t… left yet?”

“He’s probably in Japan right now… I heard he attended a family dinner right after returning from a business trip to Japan. Tomorrow afternoon, as scheduled, he’ll finish the meal with his father and head to the institution. As far as I know.”

He recalled the words that he was handling his schedule and very tired.