Cold City Romance Chapter 9.6

He changed in an instant, as if revealing his true nature, into the savage and threatening raw face that he had hidden until now.

“Fuck, listen well! I am fundamentally different from Hyun Kangwoo.”

“……”

“I have no parents or siblings, no superiors or inferiors. That stake or inheritance that makes Hyun Kangwoo and Hyun Serin tremble means less to me than a rotten piece of paper.”

“……”

“I have nailed down that I don’t need money in front of things that move for money, so even among parents and siblings, money cannot sway me. I have no reason to be bound by power struggles and vested interests. The only free one in that family is me! I am the abandoned child, the bastard with no respect for anyone!”

Hyun Jaehwi straightened his sharply enraged body and thrust his sharp nose tip toward Cha Dokyung.

“My way of seizing what I want is different from those flowers that grew delicately in a greenhouse! I can possess you viciously even by using my innate traits and the abilities I have.”

“……”

“I just haven’t done such things until now.”

Cha Dokyung gave a curt sidelong glance at the man who had come right up to his nose tip with a bitterly indifferent and cold face. Hyun Jaehwi wanted to kiss that angry and prim face right now.

“From birth, this damn dog-like trait and ability that I never wanted even once……”

Cha Dokyung stared at his desolate eyes while holding his breath.

There was nothing there. Not even the mirage where his pheromones led him. No cold deep sea of the origin, no chilly abyss of the black forest passed by beasts before dawn, no pouring storm in the dark outskirts surrounding the shift, no fresh green wind blowing through the foliage and seeping into the bones, no refreshing raindrops at all.

It was empty. Utter emptiness. He knew that was the real face of that kid who had many faces.

He finally realized the truth that the pure affection and passion he had shown him, that fresh and vibrant boy, was all pretense and falsehood.

“I can become as vile and despicably low as necessary for my goal! Using the ability I have, I can make you dependent on me like a slave in ways you could never imagine……”

Cha Dokyung covered his ears as if he did not want to hear it.

“Ha, stop it. I don’t want to hear it……! I’m tired of that voice of yours too, so get out of here right now! I don’t like splitting between you brothers either……, and sleeping with you isn’t that great for me.”

“You’re tired of me……”

Cha Dokyung was completely immersed in this act. The him screaming to stop and the disturbance egging on that this act needed to be more cruel and perfect were both clamoring in his head at the same time.

“Yeah, shall I say it more honestly. Rather than you, who suddenly appeared one day and just rolled around having sex for a few days, Kangwoo, who grew up by my side for thirty years, is much more precious……. He is my friend and eternal brother, far more important than a mere sex partner. That is my real true heart.”

After spitting that out, he looked at Hyun Jaehwi’s desolate eyes. The fearful child living in his heart began to tremble.

In fact, contrary to himself biting the knife and snarling at him, he himself might be the one who was scared and afraid. Just a few days, just from sticking and rolling around a few times, and he was already being swayed by you like this. You were becoming more likable to the point where he felt shabby……..

Perhaps Hyun Kangwoo was close to an excuse. He even thought it was fortunate that a good pretext had arisen. He had pretended to be casual and indifferent, but it was unbearably painful as it turned into sincerity. As an adult, he was ashamed of liking you more. This feeling of you becoming more and more likable was scary. Even every time he had sex with you, the instinctive and physiological desire to clutch his belly and cry fearing that you would knot and impregnate him was so scary and frightening……. Yet, the him who wanted to cling to you like an animal and crave even greater pleasure than that was the most frightening.

He was terribly afraid that he might expose his vulgar and dirty true heart, begging you to knot deep into his baby pouch and impregnate him, because he wanted greater climax and pleasure.

All last weekend, he had secretly covered his own mouth several times, mad with the pleasure you gave him, trying to say that.

“So, get out of my life.”

Hyun Jaehwi had a very sad face he had never seen before. As if it did not matter if he bit the knife in his mouth and hurt him, please do not let go of this hand, he gently hugged him.

“Rather say that you’re scared because you can’t see the future. Say that because of father, because of brother, we can’t anymore. To the words that you’re bored of me……. To the words that Hyun Kangwoo is much more precious than me, who is just for sex, how the hell am I supposed to react?”

That is nothing. You do not know, but when you reach my age, you can tell any lie. You will come to lie as naturally as breathing and eating. And that lie will soon become truth. Then you will come to live believing that vicious nightmare is reality. Everyone lives like that anyway.

The past ten years when you wanted to die, just like how you lived there.

Hyun Jaehwi, who had forgotten even threatening him scary like a bad guy while revealing his threatening nature, changed immediately. Like a wounded boy, he clung to him and asked back pitifully. The boy with desolate eyes had many faces.

“Are you really bored of me? After sleeping a few days, did you really get tired of me in those few days? Hyun Kangwoo is much more precious than me, the sex partner?”

However, Cha Dokyung coldly turned away from him like a honed blade.

“You agreed that if Kangwoo or Serin finds out, it’s over. Even so, you desperately wanted it! You kneeled and begged me, saying you’d even be a dog!”

Cha Dokyung sobbed from his chest and self-mocked. He ridiculed himself as a cowardly scaredy-cat. It gave him chills. To this twenty-six-year-old young guy, at the time when he himself was around Hyun Jaehwi’s age, Cha Dokyung was doing exactly the same logic and same threat to Hyun Jaehwi without missing a single word that Representative Yeom had done to him.

—You wanted to hide being omega and live as alpha! You said you wanted to succeed and become a top star! No? You agreed too?! You begged me to become a method actor. You pleaded and begged to make you a real actor!

While hating Yeom Taejeong whom he loathed to death, he was becoming just like him. To this innocent and young kid, being an adult over thirty meant being an irredeemable fucking dog trash that exploited innocent young children. He never wanted to become such a fallen adult, but in the end, he was just the same as Yeom Taejeong. However, he had to cowardly smile as if it was nothing. That was the last duty of cowards.

“I know I’m trash. I admit I’m selfish. I’m sorry for changing my mind.”

“……”

“But I can’t help it. This is reality. Let’s say you had a bad dream……. Let’s both pretend it never happened.”

I knew our end would become such a vicious nightmare. Relationships like this never end well.

It’s not because of the disturbance. That was just an excuse. Even knowing that, because he wanted to sleep with you, because he wanted to monopolize you, he should have maturely persuaded and rejected you until the end, but in the end, he could not resist that temptation. He thought it would be okay if no one knew about this desire of his that craved you madly with his whole body. He thought it would be fine if he dismissed it as a fun secret game enjoyed in secret. Jaehwi, I’m sorry. The real childish one is not you, but me.

Killing the last remaining inside himself…… that child. The immature child who fluttered innocently just looking at someone without conditions, Cha Dokyung said.

“Jaehwi, I’m sorry. Let’s end it here.”