The Bad Life Chapter 6.1 - Justifiable Murder

Tonight, I will end it all.

When I woke up from sleep, without even opening my eyes, I swore with a clarity of mind sharper than ever before. There was only one chance. The moment even the slightest opportunity appeared, I had to finish it.

Yesterday afternoon, through Jerome and the other boys, I clearly saw the cracks between them. Now, thorough planning or cautious waiting for the right moment was excessive luxury.

Instead of predicting, I had to trust my instincts; instead of calculating, I had to act; instead of waiting for the moment, I had to create it. Last night, Simon’s carelessness in trusting me too much had opened a window of opportunity. I had to seize that chance. Even tonight.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Simon. Thanks to the injection, it seemed I had overslept alone. As I opened my eyes and silently looked at Simon, he took me to the bathroom and washed me. After being cleaned, I was handed over to Hugh and George.

The bastards put a dog collar on me. It was literally the kind used for animals. After attaching a leash to the collar, they tied me to the living room table. The funny thing was, they left my hands and feet free. I could easily undo the dog collar if I wanted to. But I wouldn’t. Because they believed I had completely fallen to the level of a dog.

By now, this level of humiliation didn’t even hurt. Instead, I knelt like an obedient, loyal dog and looked up at the two boys. Hugh stroked my head and scratched under my chin as if handling an animal. When I quietly accepted his touch, he smiled with satisfaction and turned away. George only cast an indifferent glance at me, not touching me, and left the room with Hugh. Hugh, George, and Simon, the three boys, all left to eat.

Even after the door closed, I waited a little longer. My insides were a mess with anxiety and tension. My stomach churned uncomfortably, and cold sweat pooled in my palms. Those ten minutes felt like an eternity. The boys didn’t return during that time.

In a frenzy, I yanked at the dog collar to undo it. My nervousness caused me to fumble, and it took several tries to finally free myself from the collar and stand up. My legs were trembling. I rushed into the room. The fourth shelf, the fourth shelf. I stood in front of Simon’s bookshelf. My heart was pounding so hard I could barely breathe.

With trembling hands, I pulled a book from the fourth shelf. It wasn’t there. I quickly started pulling out the remaining books. Behind the third book I pulled, damn it, damn it, there was a white box!

I took out the box and opened it. The despair and disappointment that hit me in that moment were indescribable.

But there was no time to wallow in frustration. I bit my lip hard and started calculating quickly. There was only one dose of the injection left. Damn it! Damn it. But the powder they had been putting in my food was divided into three small plastic bags. One bag must be a dose for one person. It wasn’t enough. Not only was it insufficient, but I also had no way to get them to take the drug.

Chewing my lip, I stared at the box, then stood up. There was no time. I rummaged through Simon’s trash can first. I found the syringe and silicone cap used last night. I filled an empty syringe with water, put the cap back on, and swapped it with the syringe containing the real drug.

I tore a page from a notebook and poured all the powder onto it. In the original plastic bags that held the drug, I crushed sugar cubes for tea that I found in the kitchen and put them in. After swapping everything, I returned the box to its place on the fourth shelf and neatly rearranged the books.

Where should I hide the swapped drugs? I paced the room in a panic, then my eyes fell on Simon’s trash can. Since it was his own trash can, he wouldn’t suspect anything was hidden there. I hoped. I carefully folded the paper with the powder, placed it with the syringe deep inside the trash can.

Damn it, I was sweating a little. I wiped the sweat from my temples and ran to the living room. I put the dog collar back on myself and lay flat on the living room floor with my limbs spread out. I took deep breaths in and out. I needed to cool down. But my body, tense with anxiety, wouldn’t relax. I looked at the clock. It had just been fifteen minutes since they left the room. There was still time before the boys would finish eating and return…

At that moment, the door opened.

The sweat hadn’t dried yet. A chill ran through me, and my hands grew cold. The person who opened the door, thankfully or not, wasn’t one of the boys from Room 401 but from Room 402.

Jerome wasn’t wearing his school uniform but was dressed in neat indoor clothes. Seeing me tied to the dog collar, left on the living room floor, he raised one eyebrow.

There was some distance from the door to where I was. He probably didn’t notice the sweat. I curled up, looking at Jerome as pathetically as possible. Judging by his expression, Jerome didn’t seem pleased with me as a submissive dog, so showing a groveling, pathetic demeanor would likely make him turn away in disappointment and contempt.

My prediction wasn’t far off. When I looked at Jerome with a cowed, frightened face, contempt immediately flashed across his face.

<Je… Jerome, wh-what’s wrong…>

I couldn’t even finish my words properly. I stammered, letting my words trail off as if my tongue had been cut in half. But unexpectedly, Jerome strode toward me. Damn it! I curled up even more, rubbing my forehead on my knees to discreetly wipe the sweat.

Before I could lift my head, a strong force suddenly yanked my neck without mercy. Jerome had grabbed my leash and pulled it up ruthlessly. A choked <Guh!> escaped as my neck was jerked upward. My body involuntarily half-rose. Kneeling, I looked up at Jerome. Holding my leash tightly, Jerome stared at me coldly.

<Raymond.>

Jerome called my name gently, in contrast to the merciless grip on my leash.

My throat was too constricted to answer. But standing up didn’t seem allowed, so I just groaned, holding the leash with both hands. Jerome let go of the leash easily.

I collapsed to the floor, gasping for breath. At least this meant Jerome wouldn’t suspect my heightened tension. Or the sweat. As I lay on the floor like a dog, catching my breath, Jerome crouched in front of me. He slipped two fingers under my collar and lifted it slightly. I raised my head to look at Jerome. My breath, which had been caught in my throat, finally steadied. Jerome and I were close, face to face. I could look into his green eyes.

This was the face I would kill today. His green eyes, now swirling with frustration, despair, anger, and contempt, were vivid with chaotic, intense emotions. But after tonight, they would be nothing but dead fish eyes for maggots to feast on. Oh, Jerome, how I’ve longed to kill you. You never knew. You couldn’t have imagined how fierce my obsession and desire for revenge were, how burning my urge to reduce you all to ashes, not leaving a single bone. You’ll only realize it in the moment you die. Tonight. It was tonight. Tonight, I will kill you all.

<Raymond, no matter how much I think about it, I can’t understand…>

Jerome began softly.

<Even when we threw you into , even when Simon betrayed you, even when you saw those photos, even when Hugh and I gang-raped you for the first time, you never broke. But you lose your mind just because you were passed around to five or six kids? No matter how I think about it, I just can’t understand.>

<Ugh… ugh, sob, I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Jerome…>

I started crying and begging. Jerome didn’t get angry. Instead, he gently wiped the tears from my cheeks.

<It’s okay. Don’t apologize. It’s not something you need to apologize for.>

He continued kindly.

<Don’t apologize, just tell me the truth. tell me. Tell me what you really want. What do you want? Raymond, last night you said you wanted to escape from here, didn’t you? Do you want to escape?>

He was like a tempting serpent. I couldn’t find words and just stared at Jerome. After staring blankly for a while, I asked like someone out of their mind.

<I don’t… ugh, know… Jerome… Jerome… what should I do? Sob, ugh…>

Jerome’s patience was tenacious.

<Do whatever you want. Anything. Act on how you feel right now. How do you feel, Raymond? What do you want to do? Want to hit me with the riding crop? You wanted to do that before. Should I let you?>

You stupid bastard, do you think I’d fall for a few words after coming this far?

<I… I… Jerome, I…>

I looked into Jerome’s expectant green eyes.

<I want to have sex… with Jerome…>

And I watched up close as those beautiful green eyes, filled with expectation, sank rapidly.

<Sex… it’s a good thing, right…? Isn’t it…? Y-yesterday, I did it with Simon too… Simon put his dick in me… Jerome too, with Jerome… Jerome, I, with Jerome… yeah…>

Like last night when I climbed onto Jerome’s lap, I kissed him. I could feel him stiffen. Imagining how this damn bastard must feel made my emotions tear apart. I stuck out my tongue and licked his lips. Jerome kept his lips tightly shut. I persistently bit and licked his lips. Jerome never opened his mouth.

Instead, the three boys from Room 401 returned. George, opening the door, was the first to see me kissing Jerome. Pretending to be frantically clinging to Jerome, I secretly glanced at them. Soon, Hugh and Simon followed, and Hugh, seeing us, said cheerfully.

<Jerome, you finally gave in?>

It was indeed a test. I looked into Jerome’s eyes. Jerome pulled his hand from the collar and stood up. He shrugged at the boys.

<Yeah. This fucker’s properly tamed. Good job, George.>

<You’re welcome.>

George strode across the living room toward us. Jerome stepped aside to watch. George patted my head as if to say I did well. I could see a faint, vile satisfaction on his face.

George, having patted my head, held out a plate. That’s when I noticed it. George bent down and placed it in front of me. On the plate was, damn it, dog food. Kneeling on the floor, I looked up at George pitifully.

He said curtly.

<It’s breakfast. Eat.>

<George…>

I called out to George plaintively. George sharply slapped my cheek. Caught off guard, my cheek scraped my teeth, tearing the inside of my mouth.

<What’s a fucking dog doing talking like a human?>

<…>

George crouched in front of me and yanked the leash downward. My nose almost plunged into the plate. He said coldly.

<Eat.>

<You’ll get used to it.>

Hugh said as he approached us. He brought a stool, set it in front of me, and watched like he was enjoying a show. Hugh said in a playful, lively voice.

<Other kids say it feels weird at first, but it tastes good once you get used to it.>

I couldn’t delay any longer. Using my hands would earn me another slap, so I lay flat on the floor. I buried my face in the plate and put a piece of kibble in my mouth. It smelled musty and was damn hard to chew. I couldn’t even taste it. The only thing I felt vividly was my ears burning with shame.

Sobbing, I lifted my head. Jerome, a couple of steps away, stood with his arms crossed, casting a glance. His eyes were as impassive as Simon’s. The serpent-like gaze that had been tempting me moments ago had vanished completely. There was even contempt in his eyes. I shifted my gaze from Jerome to George. Unable to say anything, I just looked at him. George stared back at me and called Simon.

Simon brought milk from the kitchen fridge. George poured the milk into the plate. The kibble sank into the white milk, making it utterly disgusting. Kibble dust floated on the milk’s surface, and a fishy smell wafted up. Hugh grinned broadly at me. He wasn’t the only one. The other three boys stood around, waiting to see me, collared and leashed like a dog, lapping up milk from the floor. I had no choice. I lapped up the milk.

My lips, wet with milk, lifted again. I saw George, right in front of me, subtly revealing satisfaction as he curled the corners of his mouth. In his delicate and beautiful eyes, I met a cruel desire stained with madness. George glanced back at Jerome. I followed suit and looked at Jerome. Jerome, with an expressionless face, alternated his gaze between George and me. George turned his eyes back to me.

<What are you doing? Finish it.>

I buried my head in the plate, licking the milk with the tip of my tongue and chewing the kibble. After a moment, I heard footsteps. Lifting only my eyes, I saw Jerome’s feet leaving the room. He crossed the living room and went straight outside. George let out a slight chuckle.

On one hand, I was intensely curious. Why did Jerome and George antagonize each other? What role did Hugh play between them? What kind of lives had these four lunatics, including Simon, lived? Why had I been chosen as their victim?

There were too many inexplicable events. The existence of predecessors, the photos of George being gang-raped, and the evening scene where Hugh raped George while Jerome and Simon watched were all riddled with mysteries. But the moment to unravel these riddles would never come.

It took thirty minutes to barely finish breakfast.

<Raymond, you won’t be leaving this room during the break.>

As I finally finished eating, Hugh, who had been sitting on the stool watching, threw out a comment.

<You’re supposed to have gone back to America for the break. No one, absolutely no one, knows you’re still in the dorm. Except for your psychotic mother who kept you locked up for years.>

<…>

Since I wasn’t allowed to speak, I just looked up at Hugh silently. It wasn’t surprising news.

<But you won’t be bored just staying in the room. There’s a lot to do. Our Raymond needs to learn table manners, potty training… Come here.>

Hugh called softly. I crawled on all fours and sat at his feet. His fingers entered my mouth.

<The principal said our Raymond doesn’t know how to use his mouth properly. You need to learn to use this properly too, right? So you can suck off the principal again next time.>

I nodded obediently like a tame dog, listening to him spew whatever he wanted. Hugh ran his fingers through my mouth, rubbed my tongue, and pulled them out. He wiped his saliva-soaked fingers on my shoulder, then suddenly stared at me intently. His gaze, scanning me up and down, felt unsettling.

<These clothes…>

Hugh muttered in a thoughtful tone.

<Do you really need them? You’ll just be in the room anyway. It’s a hassle to keep taking them off… The weather’s nice too… Right, George? Dogs don’t wear clothes, do they?>

<Yeah.>

George gently kissed Hugh’s cheek. They looked down at me, their cheeks pressed together. George said.

<Should we take all his clothes and burn them?>

<Good idea, George.>

This time, Hugh kissed George’s cheek.

<But how do we burn them?>

Simon, who had been sitting silently, chimed in.

<There’s gasoline for the winter heater in the school’s supply room.>

The three boys started talking among themselves.

<Where do we burn them?>

<How about the fireplace?>

<That’ll make the room too hot.>

<We can sleep in another room tonight. The dorm’s empty anyway.>

<What if we just light a match to the clothes?>

<That won’t burn well. They won’t burn completely.>

<…>

<…>

<Alright. I’ll get the gasoline.>

The conversation ended. I sat blankly among them. Then Hugh stared at me.

<What are you doing? Take off your clothes.>

I almost bit my lip. If I had, they’d have suspected something. Pretending it was nothing, I took off the clothes Simon had put on me. I removed everything—underwear, socks, indoor slippers—until I was completely naked. The only things on my body were the dog collar and leash around my neck. I sat with my legs together, covering my genitals. I wanted to die of shame. Hugh patted my head with satisfaction.

While George held my leash and stood, Simon gathered all my clothes—every piece—and stuffed them into the fireplace. Underwear, socks, school uniform, shoes, indoor slippers—everything wearable went into the fireplace. Meanwhile, Hugh brought a large gasoline canister from the supply room.

They didn’t even use much gasoline. Sprinkling it over the clothes and tossing in a match, the fire blazed up instantly. Until then, I tried not to think, just observing the situation. I emptied my mind like an idiot, acting as if I were borrowing someone else’s body. That made everything much easier, but I knew it wasn’t a normal reaction.

It was just hard to endure. Facing a roaring fireplace in the middle of summer made my mind hazy. I grew anxious, wondering if I had already come too far. I doubted whether I could even take revenge on these boys. Revenge aside, could I even survive them? Perhaps, without realizing it, I was already becoming their dog…

As the flames in the fireplace burned my clothes, anxiety, doubt, and fear suddenly swelled and flared up as if spreading to me. I tilted my head back to look at the boys’ faces. The three tall boys standing before the fire had faces flushed red with heat. Their eyes gleamed strangely in the flickering flames. I stared blankly at the three right hands poking at the clothes with fire tongs.

Maybe the opportunity had already come and gone. The one chance I couldn’t miss, the only one left, was to escape their grasp by following Carl.

<Are you crying?>

George’s face suddenly entered my vision. He tilted his flushed face and spoke slowly.

<You’re scared.>

Hugh, standing by the fireplace, approached us. He knelt, pressed his forehead against mine. His deep blue eyes sparkled with mischief and excitement. He rubbed his nose against mine, then kissed me. After a light peck and pulling his forehead away, Hugh cupped my cheeks with both hands and smiled gently.

<Is it tough?>

I nodded obediently. Before I knew it, George sat beside Hugh. The two sat side by side, staring at my face. It felt like they were reading not just my expression but my heart—the heart trembling with fear by the fireplace, the unbearable anxiety and longing for the opportunity I’d already missed.

Hugh brushed back my sweat-soaked hair. His touch felt impossibly tender.

<We scared you, huh?>

<Don’t be afraid.>

George said in a rare, kind tone.

George’s large, dry hand gripped my nape and slowly laid me on the floor. I leaned into his hand and lay down. Simon, watching us from the fireplace, left his spot. No one paid attention to Simon leaving. Only I looked at him plaintively. Simon hesitated for a moment, but that was it. I heard him leave the room.

The faces of the two boys loomed over me as I lay on the floor. Hugh kissed me first. I pressed my lips against his smooth, firm ones. With the hot, dry weather and the fireplace burning, we were all heated up. Sweat rolled down Hugh’s cheek. He and I tangled tongues like lovers.

While kissing Hugh, George licked my ear. His lips lazily moved from my ear to my cheek, then to my lips, and strangely, the three of us rubbed lips and tangled tongues together. As we frantically mixed tongues, our teeth clashed. They paused, looked into each other’s eyes, and burst into playful laughter.

We kissed again, slowly, leisurely. The boys’ warm hands roamed over my body. As they gently rubbed my nipples and caressed my chest and sides, my tension gradually eased. It felt good.

Fumbling, I unbuttoned Hugh’s shirt. He rubbed my ear gently, as if praising me. I undid Hugh’s shirt and unbuckled George’s pants. I lowered his zipper and hesitantly slipped my fingers into his briefs. He was half-erect.

I naturally turned my body, bringing my face to George’s groin. They gently stroked my head and ran their hands down my spine. The sensation of lips pressing on my nape was soft and warm, and as a playful tongue lightly licked down my spine, my hips twitched and trembled.

An unknown hand gripped my genitals. The palm around my penis was hot. I took George’s penis in my mouth and let out a soft moan. I felt a hand lightly pulling the leash from behind. Straightening my back and turning my head, Hugh kissed me from behind. He held me from behind, shaking my penis. I felt George licking and sucking my nipples. The boys’ bodies touching my skin were hot, sweaty, slick, and smooth.

The fireplace flames seemed to burn even more fiercely. Hot air surged from the blaze. I didn’t think anything… I couldn’t think anything… It was just hot. Our bodies felt like they were burning, overheating. My breath caught in my throat with the heat, and, ah, ahh… good… it feels good…

When the sex was over, we were all filthy, stained with sweat and semen. I couldn’t tell if what was dripping from my buttocks was their semen or sweat. I had ejaculated twice and was so drenched in sweat I didn’t have the strength to move a finger.

We all lay tangled on the carpet by the fireplace, breathing quietly. My eyes kept closing. I was sleepy. Sleepy and exhausted. I wished Simon would come, wash me, and put me to bed. And give me that shot, that shot, to make me fall asleep quickly…

Dozing off, I rested my forehead on George’s arm. George gently stroked the back of my head. I liked his kindness and rubbed my forehead against him like a spoiled child. Hugh, lying leisurely beside us, got up first. Naked, he strode to the fireplace and looked at the still-burning flames.

Hugh muttered.

<Let’s call the dorm supervisor to clean it up. I don’t know how to handle it.>

<What about our puppy?>

George asked, kissing my forehead. I burrowed into George’s arms, and he held me. We were all a mess with sweat and bodily fluids, but it didn’t feel bad at all.

At those words, Hugh turned back to us. He leaned down, rubbing his nose against my cheek and whispering.

His voice was sweet and affectionate.

<He’s sleepy. Looks like he’s tired.>

George said, kissing near my ear.

<Should we wash him and put him to bed?>

Hugh playfully rubbed his lips against mine.

<No way. The dorm supervisor will want to do it. He’ll clean the fireplace too…>

Hugh lightly sucked on my lips and then stood up.

George stood up with him. The two boys started putting on their clothes. Lying on my side, I watched George’s pale, pretty feet pass through his briefs and then his pants. His toes, tinged pink, were cute. I crawled closer, kissed his toes, and licked them. George burst out laughing, tickled.

Fully dressed, George tied my leash to the couch, patted my head once, and stood up. The two boys left the room, leaving me behind. I lay silently on the floor, watching them go. Hugh waved at me. I was left alone in the room. Sleepy and exhausted, I didn’t want to think about anything. The moment I closed my eyes, I fell asleep.

I woke up because my head kept bumping into something. Barely opening my sleepy eyes, I saw a man’s face in front of me. It was the dorm supervisor. He was holding my knees, spreading them wide apart.

What was he doing? I stared blankly at the supervisor’s face, dreamlike, then lowered my gaze. He was thrusting his penis into my hole, moving his hips back and forth. I watched the surreal sight of a dark red penis sliding in and out between my legs.

How long had he been doing this? Before I could fully wake up, the supervisor ejaculated. I felt the strange sensation of semen spreading inside me. With a stoic face, he pulled out his penis and zipped up his pants. I looked up at him, my legs still spread wide as he had positioned them.

The supervisor untied the leash from the couch and yanked it hard. As my throat constricted, I slowly woke up. Coughing, I tried to get up. Without a word, the supervisor started walking. My limp limbs barely held together as I tried to stand, but the supervisor mercilessly kicked my thigh. I fell to the floor. Crawling on all fours, he finally began to walk. Holding my leash, he crossed the living room and left the room.

Once outside, the heat from the fireplace was gone, and it was much cooler. Since the supervisor walked slowly, following him wasn’t hard. But semen dripped between my legs, staining the floor. I glanced back at the trail as I followed him. Going down the stairs was tough. Bending my knees awkwardly, blood rushed to my head with each step. I didn’t encounter anyone on the way down.

When we reached the entrance, Hugh was standing there alone, neatly dressed. Without a word, he took the leash from the supervisor. He smiled kindly and led me outside the dorm. A sudden wave of fear bleached my vision white. Hesitating, I paused, and Hugh looked back. He took a step closer.

Hugh said softly.

<Let’s go. This might be your last walk.>

Hugh tugged the leash lightly. The motion felt not just like pulling my neck but my entire body. I reached out, bracing my hands on the floor. The stone steps outside the entrance, without carpet, were rough and hard. I looked up at Hugh. He gently massaged my nape and started walking. I crawled down the stone steps after him.

The stinging summer sunlight poured down, but it was much cooler than the dorm with the burning fireplace. Due to the drought, I crawled on my knees across the dry, brittle grass. From my low perspective, everything looked strange. In front of me were Hugh’s legs, moving leisurely, the grass right under my nose, and the empty campus was silent and peaceful.

I glanced at the countless windows of the school across the campus. Someone might be looking out from one of those windows. But it didn’t matter. I was just taking a walk.

Hugh occasionally stopped to check if I was following. He even waited for me. When I caught up, he patted my head. Crawling after him, I started sweating again. We passed the polo field. In the distance, I saw the stables. Hugh led me there.

Jerome, coming out of the stables, spotted us. He was leading a horse and stopped. Hugh pulled me toward Jerome. Jerome looked at me with an intrigued expression. Hugh proudly handed the leash to Jerome. Jerome pulled the leash toward himself. I crawled to his booted feet and sat obediently.

Jerome said in a light tone.

<Oh, Chris? Wonder how he’s doing.>

Hugh mumbled in a nostalgic tone. Then he added brightly.

<We’re not raising Raymond as a walking dog. I’m asking you for a favor now.>

<Me? Why?>

Jerome asked, puzzled.

Hugh said with a grin. Jerome frowned.

He said without looking at me.

<Give him to Simon. He’d love it.>

Hugh said.

<Simon does everything for him, so he’s not trained.>

Then Jerome looked down at me intently. A brief silence followed. Finally, he said.

<Alright.>

He continued.

<But just this once, Hugh.>

<Listen well, Raymond.>

Hugh brushed back my hair and kissed my exposed forehead. He turned and left. I sat on the grass, blankly watching Hugh go. Jerome tugged the leash to get my attention. I looked up at Jerome.

Having made me look, Jerome muttered to himself.

He scanned me up and down.

<Hmm…>

Jerome let go of the leash and went back to the stables alone. I was left on the grass with the horse. I looked up at the horse blankly. I remembered this horse. It was the one Jerome cherished. It was the horse he rode when he ambushed me on a rainy day, and the one whose penis I was forced to touch in the stables once.

Now that I looked, it had a gentle, cute face. I reached out and cautiously stroked its snout. It was rough. The horse looked at me with large, dark eyes and sniffed, flaring its nostrils.

Jerome returned quickly. He was holding a pair of overalls and old sneakers. Jerome tossed the clothes at me.

Jerome said.

<Not sure if the shoes will fit… What size do you wear?>

<…>

<What size are your feet?>

<…>

<Oh.>

Jerome raised one eyebrow as if realizing something.

<Trained not to speak, huh? Can you bark then?>

I didn’t answer this time either. Jerome nodded.

<Not barking yet, huh. Alright. Just put them on quickly.>

I hesitated, looking up at Jerome. His expression was firm and bored. Fumbling, I unzipped the overalls and slipped my legs in. I put my arms through the sleeves, zipped it up fully, and looked up at Jerome. He gestured at the shoes with his chin. I put on the sneakers with my dirt-stained bare feet. As soon as I tied the laces, Jerome turned without a word.

He began to walk with long strides, leading the horse. The horse followed Jerome obediently. I followed him as well, crawling on the ground with the leash dragging on the floor. Jerome did not wait for me, so the distance between us quickly widened.

It was not long before Jerome found me struggling on all fours, panting as I tried to chase after him. He made a dumbfounded expression.

Jerome, who had gotten far ahead, shouted.

<Raymond! Get up and run!>

When I did not move, he urged me on.

<Hurry!>

I raised my body. On two feet, I ran toward Jerome.

We walked in silence. Jerome led the horse into the forest. Because my sneakers were a little big, I followed a step behind him. As soon as we entered the forest, he mounted the horse. I gripped my own leash tightly and looked up at Jerome. Jerome leaned his body against the horse’s neck and looked down at me.

The bright sunlight shone through, making Jerome’s green eyes seem transparent. With his beautiful eyes, he just stared at me for a long time. I wiggled the toes inside my sneakers and silently endured Jerome’s gaze. I was anxious because I could not figure out what he was demanding, and at the same time, it felt strange.

We had never looked at each other like this for so long, so deeply, so peacefully. His face looked somewhat bored, and at the same time, it also seemed as if he had resigned himself to something. The boy’s flushed cheeks were full of life, but the eyes that once shone were gone without a trace. Jerome simply stared at my face impassively, as if looking into the surface of water.

My hair covered my eyes. The wind blew. It was a little stronger than a gentle breeze. I tilted my head back and looked at the sky. It was still clear. There was no sign of a storm coming.

<I don’t know what to do with you, Raymond.>

Jerome finally said. I did not answer.

<Should I wash you like Hugh said? Dry your hair and send you to the dormitory?>

He asked.

<Hugh sent you here to be shoved into the dirty water trough used for washing horses. You’re a beast now, so you can’t wash in a bathroom that people use.>

I did not answer.

<Maybe I should have done that…>

Jerome mumbled blankly.

<But that’s not very fun.>

I stared at Jerome without a word. Jerome swiftly pulled out the riding crop he had hung on his saddle. He beckoned with his finger. As I approached, he had me hold the riding crop, then tied my leash to the horse’s reins. I just stared at him blankly. Jerome took the riding crop back and then stared at me intently.

<Raymond, what do you think will happen if I whip the horse’s rump with this crop right now?>

<…>

<You’re probably not agile enough to chase after a suddenly bolting horse. Your neck bone will probably break.>

<…>

<So I’ll give you 10 seconds. In 10 seconds, take off the dog collar and run. Do you understand me, doggy?>

<…>

<I’m counting. 10. 9. 8…>

Each number Jerome counted stuck into my head, one by one by one. As the numbers slowly decreased, the blood circulating in my veins quickened, my heart began to pound violently, and my hands and feet grew hot. This was real. Jerome was really going to make the horse run. I screamed and started to grab and pull at the dog collar tightening around my neck. My fingers were slippery with sweat.

I still had not managed to undo the leash.

<2… 1…>

Jerome raised his arm high. He swung the riding crop with all his might.

<Noooooo! Jerome!>

Screaming, I pulled at the collar and yanked the strap out. But Jerome had only cut through the empty air with his riding crop.

The horse snorted peacefully. Jerome burst into a fit of insane laughter.

<Kyahahahat! Hahahak! Ray, hahatha, Raymond! Hahahya!>

Fear overtook reason. Even though nothing had happened, I started running like a madman. It felt like my legs would give out from the loss of strength, yet I powerfully kicked and pushed off the ground, running forward, continuously running. My vision was still flashing black from the remnants of terror. I screamed and ran frantically, then glanced back. Jerome was still bursting with laughter on top of his saddle. In that moment, my eyes met Jerome’s.

An ominous… a terribly ominous feeling suddenly washed over me. That person is going to kill me. A powerful premonition, no, a conviction, struck me. Today, in this place, right now, if I am caught by those hands, I will be tied to the horse’s tail and dragged until my skull is smashed and I die! That lunatic is going to kill me! Jerome raised the riding crop once more. This time, he accurately struck the horse’s rump, and the horse began to run toward me.

A scream escaped me without my knowing. I began to run forward furiously. The sound of hooves kicking the ground and getting closer with every moment filled my ears. The sound of hooves, still distant, shook my brain like thunder. I ran. I just ran. I ran as if my life depended on it. Despite that, Jerome was right behind me in no time.

<No, Raymond, that’s not good enough! Faster! You have to run faster! Faster, faster!>

Jerome shouted from behind me. When I looked back, Jerome was almost directly behind my back. I felt the wind brush past my ears. He had swung the riding crop right next to me.

<More! Faster! Run, Raymond, run!>

I ran. My back itched and my stomach churned as if I would be caught at any moment. My face grew hot and every breath I took brought a sharp pain, as if a sharp needle was stabbing my lungs, but I kept running. When I turned back in fear, Jerome had stopped quite a distance away. But as soon as our eyes met, he started riding the horse again.

<Run, Raymond! Hahahahat!>

The sneakers, which had been a little big, eventually came off after a short while. I ran like crazy on my bare feet. Jerome hunted me as if he were chasing a rabbit. After running frantically for a long while, I would look back to see Jerome stopped far away, and then, as soon as our eyes met, he would start riding the horse again ferociously.

When I was about to collapse from exhaustion after running and running in surprise, Jerome would slow down again, and at some point, he would stop and watch me intently, only to start riding frighteningly again if our eyes so much as met. He kept driving me deeper into the forest, deeper and deeper.

The place we finally arrived at was <Kelpie>.

I collapsed in front of the swamp, breathing painfully. My legs were trembling. I had no more strength to run, but I desperately tried to get up. I was gasping for air, inhaling and exhaling, but it did not feel like I was breathing at all. I kept suffocating. My chest and throat ached as if I were dying.

Jerome arrived at <Kelpie> a little later. He did not come close to me but remained at a distance, still on his horse.

I looked back at the madman. Jerome had a delighted and somewhat flushed face, the corners of his mouth curled up. Psycho bastard. Crazy son of a bitch! Even if I die here today, I will drag that motherfucker down with me like a vengeful ghost. It felt like my half-gone mind was jolted back to clarity. I felt like I was burning up to the tips of my hair with hatred for Jerome.

<Oh my. Our little doggy’s eyes have become quite insolent.>

Jerome sneered from atop the saddle.

My heart sank for a moment, but I did not lose my reason. I gritted my teeth. Jerome knew nothing. He was just provoking me. He was constantly trying to test me, to find out my secrets, to trap me. It was because he did not know about me. It was because he believed the image I had fabricated was real. I could not fall for Jerome’s provocation.

<No… huff, no…, it’s not.>

I managed to speak, even though I was so out of breath I felt like I would stop breathing.

Jerome did not look particularly disappointed. He looked at me with a slight smile.

<Yes, it is. You’re angry right now. Aren’t you? I can see you’re angry.>

<No… Jerome, no, really, I’m sorry… Please don’t tell Hugh…>

I curled up my body, pretending to cry.

Jerome was silent.

A moment later, I heard the sound of him dismounting his horse. I heard the sound of grass being stepped on as he approached me.

A chill went down my spine. Is he going to kill me? Should I kill him first? But how? I am weak, I have no weapon, all the strength has drained from my body from running continuously, and I still have not caught my breath.

In the meantime, Jerome got closer and closer. I carefully raised my head. Jerome was standing right in front of me, holding the riding crop. The silence was suffocating. I could not see Jerome’s face properly because of the backlight. I panted and looked up at him pleadingly, my brow furrowed deeply.

Don’t kill me. Don’t kill me. No. Not now. Tonight is my night. I’m the one who ends it tonight. I will kill you!

<Fine. I get it. I’ll admit it now.>

Jerome said.

<Have a fun vacation with Hugh, George, and Simon.>

I stared at him blankly.

<Jerome…?>

<I’m leaving early tomorrow morning.>

He said curtly.

<I was really looking forward to this vacation, damn it, Raymond. To think you’d disappoint me like this.>

Even after he finished speaking, Jerome looked down at me for a moment longer. Finally, he turned without any lingering attachment and went back to his horse.

Jerome left me in front of <Kelpie>. In front of the same swamp where I had once nearly died, been deceived by the boys, and betrayed by Simon, this time it was Jerome who turned his back, deceived. I stayed curled up until the horse had left and I could no longer hear the sound of its hooves. Only when I was left alone in complete silence did the tension in my sweat-drenched body finally release. I lay down and looked up at the sky. My mind gradually cleared. My rough breathing slowly returned to normal.

The sweat cooled quickly thanks to the strong wind. As I caught my breath and my heated body cooled down, my chaotic mind also cleared up completely.

Jerome is leaving tomorrow morning. Tonight was the last chance to kill him. If I let him leave without killing him, it might be more advantageous for me. In any case, it would mean one less person, so it might be a little easier to escape from the clutches of Hugh, George, and Simon…

No, I could not be sure of that either. The boys always came up with unpredictable situations. It was better to finish them all at once. I had to create an opportunity.

If only I had a few more of Simon’s syringes… then I could have tried something even if it came to a physical fight… Should I just run away like this? I turned my head and looked into the forest. The school was surrounded by a 15-kilometer radius of forest. If I just went into the woods and hid, they would never be able to find me. Instead, I would have to live the rest of my life hiding from them.

I would spend every day painfully reliving old memories, alone in fear and anxiety, anger and hatred, regret and resignation. I could not live like that. I would make it so that no one could get out of here alive. Either everyone dies or only I survive. That was all.

I struggled to get up. My legs trembled. I felt like I would rather crawl on all fours, like when I was out of my mind earlier. Staggering, I barely began to make my way out of the forest. I was returning to them on my own two feet once again. I could only hope that this was not the wrong choice. I barely made it out of the <Kelpie> walking trail and entered the school grounds. I was barefoot and wearing a work uniform that I did not even know whose it was.

The wind was blowing quite strongly. My hair was flying all over the place. Despite the strong wind, the sky was still just as clear.

I crossed the empty school grounds alone. When I returned to the dormitory, the dorm supervisor was at the entrance. He stared at me intently without a word. I realized his gaze was lingering around my neck. It was only after I felt my neck that I remembered I had taken off the dog collar.

The dog collar and leash were probably hanging on Jerome’s saddle. Even if I went to the stables to find Jerome, he probably would not be there or would have already thrown the dog collar away. I did not want to go back to Jerome, who kept setting traps… I might get punished, but I gave up on getting the dog collar back. I dragged my feet up the stairs. The dorm supervisor’s gaze followed me. I did not look back.

By the time I reached the top floor, I was completely exhausted. I staggered into the room.

There was no one in the dormitory. Even though the windows were wide open, the air was hot and stuffy. The heat had not yet escaped because the fireplace had been lit. Thanks to that, it seemed all the boys had left the dormitory. The heat would only dissipate in the evening when the sun set, so the boys would not be back until then.

I took off the work clothes and trudged to the bathroom. I felt like I could finally live after pouring cold water over myself from head to toe.

I washed off the traces of sex that still remained on my body. I also removed the semen of Hugh, George, and the dorm supervisor left inside me. After such a romp, they probably would not get hard again today. After bathing, I stood naked in the living room, staring blankly at the fireplace.

The fireplace was very clean. There were no ashes from burnt clothes or melted rubber from shoe soles. The dorm supervisor must have cleaned it up neatly. The only signs of the fireplace having been used were the kindling still placed inside the hearth and the can of gasoline next to the hearth.

After staring at the clean fireplace, I turned around. I got some water from the kitchen, drank it, and returned to the living room. I curled up on the rug and breathed out slowly. It was quiet all around. Only the curtains were flapping wildly from the wind blowing through the wide-open windows.

In that moment, I shot up as if sprung. A thought flashed through my mind.