Irresponsibility Chapter 11.1

I returned home.

My room in my family’s house felt unfamiliar. I had hardly visited since last year, so it had been two years.

In the early morning of the day I returned home, I talked a lot with my family. Sitting in a circle on the living room floor, Yeoun carefully recounted a slightly embellished story. The part about the blackmail that had started last year was true, but the part about hiding out in the countryside because he couldn’t bear the blackmail was a lie.

His family was horrified, enraged, and saddened.

‘I’m sorry that Mom and Dad couldn’t be there for you.’

And they apologized.

They still weren’t angry with their son who had disappeared for months without a word. There was no resentment about why he had been shouldering such a burden alone. Whenever such emotions suddenly welled up, they just held Yeoun and patted him on the back.

That day, the living room had been filled with weeping.

My parents became very cautious with me. Even more so after they learned about the trauma I had and my stutter.

I tried to hide it, and I tried my best not to stutter, but it was no use. My language skills seemed to mock my efforts. The harder I tried, the more jumbled my sentences came out.

“A-an acquaintance. Introduced… introduced me to a hospital in Seoul, he, he said he would.”

In exchange for demanding confidentiality, they promised to support Yeoun’s rehabilitation. They attached the condition that his psychotherapy must be with a designated doctor, but Baek Geonhyuk said that wasn’t a bad thing. He said it would be much more helpful since he could tell that doctor everything without holding back.

“That’s great. But in Seoul? I wonder if there are any good places around here.”

“Later, I also have to, to, to go back to, to school, so…”

He postponed his return to school for another semester. His parents were reluctant to send Yeoun to Seoul alone, and Yeoun himself didn’t have the confidence to go back to school right away. He planned to take another semester off and focus on his recovery.

I hadn’t realized it when I was living with just Baek Geonhyuk, but living with my family, I often felt the desperate need for treatment. When I would startle at nothing and squeeze my eyes shut then open them, when I met my family’s surprised faces, when their eyes brimmed with sadness. I felt that I had to get better soon.

“You’re right. If you’re thinking about going back to school, Seoul would be better.”

“Mom and Dad will go with you. Or we can send Siun with you.”

“Ooh, a free tour of Seoul. I’m down.”

Joo Siun said, munching on an apple. Chomp, chomp. Looking at his younger brother’s face, Joo Yeoun was lost in thought for a moment.

It was early morning when he arrived home on the train with his parents. Despite the hour, the house was brightly lit, and Joo Siun, standing at the entrance, sobbed and sobbed upon seeing him. On his social media feed, where he used to carefully post every single thing, saying he needed to increase his follower count, there were only photos of his hyung for the past few months.

“Good for you.”

At his mother’s incredulous remark, Siun nodded with a feigned seriousness.

“Yes. It would be nice if you could provide ample travel expenses. Mother, Father.”

His dad roughly ruffled Siun’s hair. A smile touched his dad’s face as well, and seeing that, Yeoun’s expression also relaxed.

“It would be nice if hyung provided them, too.”

“What are you talking about…”

Joo Yeoun nonchalantly rolled his eyes and ate his apple. Until yesterday, he couldn’t get anything down, but today the apple tasted sweet.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay by yourself?”

His mother asked worriedly, glancing at the clock.

His parents had not gone to work for a few days. The same went for his younger brother. He had skipped school, calling it a self-declared break, but now it was time for everyone to return to their daily lives.

Joo Yeoun met their worried gazes and opened his mouth.

“I’m t-t-twenty-three…”

At those words, his parents smiled and got up.

“Alright. We’ll be going then, so take out the side dishes from the fridge to eat. And heat up the braised short ribs…”

“Honey, he says he’s twenty-three. Let’s go.”

His dad cut his mom off and took her by the shoulder, leading her to the entrance. “Leave some of the braised short ribs for me,” were his brother’s last words before the front door closed, and silence fell upon the house. At the dining table where the family of four had been sitting, Joo Yeoun was left alone.

But his face was not gloomy. As he shot up and rushed into his room, his eyes sparkled.

On the bed was a phone plugged into a charger. The phone, which still looked new, was a gift from Baek Geonhyuk.

On the day he came home, after spending the early morning with his family and lying in the unfamiliar bed of his room, all he could think about was Baek Geonhyuk. And he realized a huge problem.

He didn’t know his phone number.

Baek Geonhyuk would know his number, but the thought that he was now completely cut off from him kept growing. A sudden fear washed over him, and he took out his own phone for no reason, only to see a message waiting.

[Check the inner pocket of your bag]

It was a number he had never seen before. Old memories surfaced, making him anxious, but Yeoun put the phone down and opened the bag he had been carrying that day. Since Baek Geonhyuk had packed the bag for him, he didn’t know what was inside.

When he slipped his hand into the inner pocket, he felt something angular and hard. He took it out and saw it was a latest model phone, with a yellow sticky note attached to it.

010-xxxx-xxxx

It was a familiar handwriting.

Clutching the phone with the note on it, Joo Yeoun frantically looked around. Unaware that it was the early morning, his mind was filled with the single thought that he had to call him right now.

He opened his desk drawer and rummaged through it haphazardly, finding a paperclip in an old pencil case. As he inserted the SIM card he had removed with the paperclip into the new phone, Joo Yeoun sniffled a little.

The battery was low, so he plugged in the charger and waited anxiously for the phone to turn on. An alert that some process was running popped up when the screen came on, but he immediately called the number written on the note.

The ringing tone stopped before it could even ring once.

—Yeah. Yeoun.

It’s his voice. It’s Baek Geonhyuk.

At that moment, tears burst out of him. It seemed there were still tears left even after crying for so long with his family, as large teardrops fell one by one below his chin.

‘Hng, yeah…’

—You weren’t asleep?

When he opened his mouth to answer, sobs escaped, making it difficult. Yeoun pressed his lips, curved downwards, tightly together and nodded.

—Give me the phone you used before later. It’s being bugged.

‘Yeah…’

—You seemed to be crying earlier too. Did you eat something?

‘Hnnnggg…’

—…Was that an answer?

‘Hnnn…’

He couldn’t even properly answer what he was saying because he was crying.

The truly amazing thing was that despite that, Baek Geonhyuk only told him the things he would be curious about. That he had successfully secured Choi Joonghyuk and the item, that he was at the company right now, that he wasn’t hurt anywhere, and even that he had done a very good job today.

He had only cried, and his first-ever phone call with him had ended like that.

After that, he never cried again. He was embarrassed about having cried so much, so he spoke in a more composed tone during their calls.

[Baek Geonhyuk]

Joo Yeoun called the person at the top of his recent call list. He thought he might not answer since it was morning, but a voice came through right away.

—Yeah, Yeoun.

At the voice that seeped into his ear, Yeoun gently closed and opened his eyes.

To be honest, talking with Baek Geonhyuk on the phone was a very tingly affair.

“Yeah. What are you doing?”

—At the office. Did you have breakfast?

“Yeah…. I ate, and I ate an a-apple, too…. Did you eat? Don’t tell me you ate a p-packed lunch again?”

The fact that he could talk about trivial things as soon as they came to mind. It was awkward, but nice. Though it would be even nicer if he had gone to work, and he himself had woken up in the morning and talked to him on the phone, and then waited for him to come home in the afternoon.

—You’re psychic.

Baek Geonhyuk chuckled a little and asked if he didn’t need to be with his family. It seemed like he was changing the subject, but Joo Yeoun pretended not to notice and went along with it.

“Today my parents went to work, and my brother went to, to school.”

—That’s great. I get to hear your voice first thing in the morning.

“Th-that’s right…”

He had been thinking the same thing.

—Yeoun. Do you know your voice on the phone sounds a little different from in person?

Baek Geonhyuk said suddenly.

“How so?”

—It just feels a little different.

It seemed Baek Geonhyuk also often felt a sense of novelty about their calls. His voice, when he had laughed softly and said, “So we’re talking on the phone,” was still vivid.

“My parents think it would be better to t-talk to the police. They say we have to catch Ch-Choi Joonghyuk.”

—I think so too. The investigation will be closed next week anyway, so the other victims won’t have to be anxious for long either.

“The investigation will be closed…?”

At his repeated question, Baek Geonhyuk paused for a moment before answering, yes.

An investigation is closed when the criminal dies. Joo Yeoun blinked his eyes rapidly and spoke before it was too late.

“Then are you n-not busy anymore either?”

—Why. Do you miss me?

Baek Geonhyuk asked in a slightly teasing tone. Joo Yeoun pretended it wasn’t the case, saying, “I was just asking if you weren’t busy.”

Even if he wasn’t busy, it would be difficult for him to leave the house for a while anyway. This was because his parents were so worried that they had only just returned to work today.

—I think I’ll be free enough to secretly follow you when you go to the police station.

“I, I guess you’re very free.”

A laugh came in response to that. Listening to the sound that tickled his ear, Yeoun smiled faintly.

—Then talk to your parents and let me know.

“Okay…. I’ll call you tonight.”

—You’re hanging up already?

“I have to do the dishes.”

—You’re really cold.

“Whatever…. You should g-get back to work, too.”

—I don’t want to.

“I’m g-gonna hang up.”

Joo Yeoun immediately ended the call. After hanging up, he stared at the call log for a moment. Even though he said that, he was probably busy, and he didn’t want to bother him. He could just call again at night. It was fine.

He was doing better without Baek Geonhyuk than he had thought.

Still, it would be nice if he could see Baek Geonhyuk’s face, even for a moment, when he went to the police station….