Irresponsibility Chapter 2.4

Joo Yeoun spun around and quickly moved away. Left alone in the living room, Baek Geonhyuk slowly straightened his knees and stood up.

“Did he just seem a little annoyed?”

Muttering to himself, he kept his gaze on the hallway where Joo Yeoun had disappeared.

His indifferent gaze gradually subsided. He listened intently, but he couldn’t hear the sound of crying.

‘Keep your promise.’

Recalling the firm face, he headed to the kitchen. When he opened the cupboard, he saw instant porridge neatly stacked. The instant porridge, lined up in four rows, came in a total of four flavors, and he would pick porridge from a different row for each meal.

It had been a long time since Joo Yeoun had eaten, as he had slept for over a day and before that, he had done nothing but cry. A low sigh escaped.

Things are really not going easily. For Joo Yeoun.

Rubbing his forehead, Baek Geonhyuk moved his hands mechanically. He put the porridge in the microwave, set it for 1 minute and 30 seconds, and pressed the start button.

Beep-beep-.

Just as he took out a tray and placed a spoon and water on it, the end-of-cycle sound was heard. He took out the heated porridge and opened the lid that was halfway on. White steam rose in billows.

Fanning with the lid, he glanced towards the room. It seemed he was washing his face. Judging from the faint sound of water, it looked like he hadn’t closed the bathroom door.

Joo Yeoun, who had staggered while holding the door that wasn’t even that heavy, came to mind.

“Hmm….”

Thinking that he needed to go downtown, Baek Geonhyuk held the porridge bowl. It was moderately warm, but he thought it might be hot for Joo Yeoun. He fanned it for a while longer before heading to the room.

As always, he placed the tray on the nightstand and waited for Joo Yeoun to pick up his spoon. His gaze moved slowly. The wet hair stuck to the nape of his neck, the slightly visible white cheek, the pupils that glanced at him.

…The slightly furrowed brow, the downturned corners of his mouth.

Afraid that he might cry, Baek Geonhyuk tilted his head slightly. Just as he was about to get a closer look at his face, Joo Yeoun abruptly turned his back.

Baek Geonhyuk confirmed that the clear cheek, now clean from washing his face, was chewing, and then left the room.

*

He had started to stutter. His right hand, which had been broken, still felt stiff, and the pain in his ribs when he sneezed was still there.

His mind was as precarious as his broken body. Perhaps because it had been slowly crumbling since last year, he had reached his limit even faster, and until a few days ago, the desire to give up on everything had been soaring.

Now he had regained his composure to the point where he couldn’t understand his past self who had tried to give up, but there were times when he felt like he had become a different person.

The more he mulled over each aspect of his condition, the more sorrowful he became.

But he had to swallow it down.

When Joo Yeoun felt that there was only one path given to him, he did not step back. Even though he sometimes paused, he did not look back.

“…Uh.”

Baek Geonhyuk, holding a tray, came to a sudden stop in the middle of the room. His gaze was fixed on the nightstand as if nailed there. The porridge he had quietly left for the sleeping Joo Yeoun last night was completely empty. Baek Geonhyuk stared intently at the empty bowl that felt unfamiliar and then opened his mouth.

“Did you throw it away?”

“……”

At the question he asked while making eye contact, Joo Yeoun turned his head to the opposite side. I guess not. Baek Geonhyuk, who muttered to himself, straightened the body he had tilted to see Joo Yeoun’s face.

“Should I give you something different for lunch today?”

“……”

Putting away the empty bowl and placing the tray he had brought, he turned his head slightly.

“Not in the mood to talk?”

He seemed to be asking indifferently, but a faint smile graced his face. Joo Yeoun hesitated, clutching only the blanket.

Without saying more, Baek Geonhyuk went and stood by the door. As always, it was to watch him take one spoonful.

Joo Yeoun came down to the floor and sat with his back to the door. He picked up the spoon but stopped without eating the porridge. At that, Baek Geonhyuk craned his neck and tilted his head slightly. If he went closer to look at his face, he would be startled, so he was trying to see from behind.

The slightly visible cheek seemed a little puffy. As if he were biting his lip.

Is he tired of porridge. It was when Baek Geonhyuk was pondering.

“…A-are you watching me?”

“Hmm?”

Baek Geonhyuk rumbled in his throat, and when Joo Yeoun added in a mumble, “Why…,” he understood his meaning. It seemed that him watching felt like surveillance.

“It’s not surveillance.”

At his words, Joo Yeoun hesitantly turned his head. Unlike his cautious gesture, his face was quite firm.

“Y-you even watch when I’m eating…. And there are CCTVs, too.”

“That’s right.”

At the low reply, Joo Yeoun opened his mouth again.

“I’m not… I’m not a prisoner, you know.”

The pupils looking up at him were clear.

“I watched because you wouldn’t eat a single spoonful, and I installed the CCTVs in case you did something dangerous. But I guess your perception of it could be different.”

Speaking indifferently, he made eye contact with Yeoun.

“If you truly know nothing, it’s protection, and if you’re hiding something, it would be surveillance.”

Yeoun’s shoulders flinched. It was because the chill he had felt when he first saw the man had returned. However, he put a lot of strength into his body, which kept trying to shrink back, and looked straight up at him.

“N-no.”

His dark eyebrows moved slightly upward. Even at that small change in expression, his heart sank, but Yeoun opened his dry lips.

“Even for protection purposes, you should have gotten my c-c-consent first….”

When he had barely finished his sentence, asking if he shouldn’t have sought consent, the man was making a strange expression. He seemed to think for a moment, rubbing his chin, and then nodded his head.

“Yeah. Sorry. Is it okay to install CCTVs?”

“…Wh-what if I say n-no?”

“Then it’ll be proceeding without consent.”

At the nonchalant reply, Joo Yeoun clamped his mouth shut. Faint wrinkles formed on his smooth brow and on the bridge of his white nose. Baek Geonhyuk stared intently at that white face, where dissatisfaction had surfaced.

The persistent gaze was broken only after Joo Yeoun turned his head.

“I won’t watch you eat anymore. If you have any other complaints, let me know.”

Baek Geonhyuk said readily. And he was just turning to leave, gripping the doorknob. Joo Yeoun let out a small “Okay.”

Click. After the door closed, Baek Geonhyuk stood tall in that spot, his gaze fixed on the empty air. His slowly blinking eyes curved slightly.

Beyond the door, Joo Yeoun let out a sigh. From his perspective, he had only said something that was naturally to be expected, but he felt as if he had accomplished something great.

Joo Yeoun sat close to the nightstand and put a spoonful of the instant porridge he ate every day into his mouth. It was lukewarm, but it was better than the cold porridge he had eaten at dawn yesterday.

Come to think of it, it didn’t seem like very good treatment. Confining him and only giving him instant porridge. Didn’t it remind him of a certain movie where they only gave fried dumplings for 15 years?

“……”

Yeoun chewed blankly. He was eating to live, so it didn’t really matter what he ate. Since it was easy to eat, this seemed like the best option too.

After slowly finishing the bowl, he drank some water and stood up. Yeoun looked up at the door propped against the wall and went into the bathroom. Even when he came out after brushing his teeth, his gaze went to the door. His lips moved hesitantly.

“Door.”

Letting out a small voice, Joo Yeoun glanced back at the closed room door. There was no sign of anyone outside.

Roll, roll. His rolling gaze landed on the bed.

“Be…d.”

Slow but accurate pronunciation came out.

“Blanket… Pillow… Wi-wi-wi….”

The lips that had been spitting out words as his gaze landed on them clamped shut. Yeoun, who had been glaring at the window, soon flopped face down onto the bed.

The moment of confronting his unfamiliar self often came very unexpectedly. His nose was just pressed against the sheet, and there were no threatening objects around. But a pitch-black memory washed over him like a wave and swallowed him whole.

“Heueup…!”

Yeoun’s eyes flew open, and he flailed and turned his head. He hadn’t been suffocating, but he heaved his chest rapidly, forcing air into his lungs.

By the time he had barely escaped the memory of the wet cloth blocking his airway, his vision was blurry. When he rubbed his eyes, his fingers came away wet.

Yeoun breathed out slowly and blinked. In his cleared vision, the gray bundle of the blanket became distinct. Only the part touched by the sunlight was a bright color.

He stared at that part for a long time. Yeoun, who was blinking his eyes listlessly, moved his mouth.

Window…. Window….

Soundless words flowed out.

Joo Yeoun, sitting on the edge of the bed, quietly made a resolution as he watched the door open. I shouldn’t show a scared attitude. I should state what I want clearly, and I shouldn’t act like a criminal.

“Come out.”

But at the words that the man standing holding the door blurted out, his heart sank. The expressionless face and low voice were just like an executioner’s.

“…Wh-wh-why?”

Joo Yeoun asked hesitantly. The hand that was propped on the bed flailed, searching for and grabbing the blanket.

Looking down at the extremely wary Joo Yeoun, the man made a low sound, “Ah.”

“Come out and eat. I’m going to fix the bathroom door in the meantime.”

He held up the toolbox, and when Yeoun still didn’t move, he tapped the black toolbox. Tap, tap.

“I’m good at it.”

“……”

The fear gradually disappeared from Yeoun’s face. As he blinked, he even had a thought. Who asked?

Joo Yeoun, who had been clutching the blanket tightly, let go and glanced at his own hand, which felt stiff. His right hand occasionally had that sensation. He was unconsciously massaging it when the man’s gaze from the doorway landed on his hand.

Joo Yeoun flinched, dropped his hand, and got up from his spot. At that, the huge figure blocking the door moved aside a little.

It took courage to pass by him, so Yeoun cursed the man a little in his mind. ‘Come out’ just like that. Wouldn’t it be better to state the reason first from the beginning?

He remembered having a similar experience before. Come out, eat, use this. The man mostly spoke in a commanding tone, and the explanation always came late.

“Eat what’s on the dining table.”

“Heuk…!”

Because the voice was heard right next to him while he was cursing, Joo Yeoun was startled. As he crossed the threshold and turned back slightly, the man tilted his head.