Irresponsibility Chapter 5.1

Joo Yeoun is innocent, and harmless.

Baek Geonhyuk completely erased one of his speculations about how Joo Yeoun ended up transporting drugs. There was no way Joo Yeoun would have gotten involved in a crime just to earn some pocket money.

Either he transported them without knowing they were drugs, or he was threatened.

He got angry imagining Joo Yeoun naively getting caught up in it. The casual speculation he had made was now mixed with emotion.

It was like that sometimes. When Joo Yeoun was terrified, when he bit his lip hard as if frustrated with himself for stuttering, when Baek Geonhyuk quietly opened the door at dawn to find him having a nightmare. His chest felt heavy, as if being crushed, and his head grew hot.

Why did such a cruel thing happen to Joo Yeoun? His heart burned when he looked at the man’s thin wrists.

When he recalled the voice that called him, whispering, ‘Geonhyuk…,’ he thought that several unbelievable misfortunes might have overlapped.

That it could be true that the bag Joo Yeoun lost at the market just so happened to be used for drug transport.

The possibility was low, but looking at his clear face made him think that it wasn’t entirely impossible. Since the organization was skilled at hiding, perhaps they had intentionally drawn in a civilian.

Joo Yeoun alone had become unhappy due to another’s malice and poor judgment. Any compensation, any response, was simply not enough.

‘Team Leader, I am confident that I truly won’t be a burden to the team from now on. We have to catch those bastards, don’t we? Thousands of lives are at stake.’

‘Yes. It’s a job that saves thousands of lives.’

On the dawn he moved Joo Yeoun to the villa, Baek Geonhyuk had a meeting with Kim Jinwoo.

‘I was discharged from the military with only you in mind, Team Leader. I’ll accept any other punishment, so please reconsider just once. I am staking my sense of duty on this; I absolutely want to succeed in this mission.’

Baek Geonhyuk stared blankly at his subordinate. The desperate eyes were filled with determination.

His gaze soon moved past the man’s firm shoulders and reached the door of the investigation room. In the jet-black eyes he had faced there, there was only deep resignation.

Jinwoo. A dry voice flowed out.

‘What you faced in there. It wasn’t a mission, it was a person.’

‘…….’

‘Even if our work ignores all laws and procedures, you have to know that a person is a person.’

At the quiet voice, Kim Jinwoo’s eyes flew open. Looking at his subordinate, who had a look on his face like he had been hit hard on the head, Baek Geonhyuk opened his mouth again.

‘It’s my fault for not guiding you properly. I’m sorry.’

‘Team Leader. I, I….’

The man’s pale face moved his lips. Baek Geonhyuk spoke with a blank expression.

‘I’ll take my responsibility, so you take yours.’

‘…….’

‘You’ve worked hard until now.’

Kim Jinwoo was expelled from the team after that day.

It was a matter that had been concluded a long time ago, and besides, there was no other way.

Nevertheless, Baek Geonhyuk often felt that it wasn’t enough.

Because in the end, the one trying the hardest was Joo Yeoun.

Looking back to when he first brought him in, he seemed like an almost different person now. It was thanks to how incredibly hard he had tried on his own. The power of time to solve things was minimal, and for the most part, a person just had to make an effort.

Joo Yeoun tried hard not to collapse, and he stood up firmly.

That was probably why he felt proud of him. He wondered if it was possible to feel proud of a full-grown adult he hadn’t even raised, but there were no other words to express it.

When he saw him speak to him casually, saying, Hey, he felt like something in his chest was floating up, weightless.

‘Should we re-register our re-record?’

Or was it not that?

When he met that brightly smiling face, he had definitely plummeted. His whole body tingled, as if all the blood in his body had drained to his feet and then filled back up again.

Because the experience of that moment was so unique, he kept mulling over Joo Yeoun’s smiling face. Things like his eyes that became half-moons, the curved corners of his mouth, and the smooth curve his cheeks made.

Baek Geonhyuk propped his chin on his hand and fixed his gaze on the CCTV screen. He had it set so an alarm would go off if movement was detected, so he didn’t need to keep watching it, but he found himself often staring at the empty screen.

At first, Joo Yeoun would be caught a little at the edges, but these days, he skillfully avoided the CCTV. He stared for a long while, but since there was nothing to see, he put down his phone.

“Hngh….”

Joo Yeoun let out a moan with his eyes closed. He would occasionally shake his head as if convulsing, but the dream held his mind down heavily, and he just could not wake up.

It was a dream full of only terrifying things. Messages, his parents’ affectionate faces, sharp tools, a stream of water.

When he squeezed his eyes shut as if to look away, all sorts of noises became vivid.

The sound of his fingers being twisted, the scream that tasted of blood, the earthquake-like vibration of his phone, the gasping sound of his breath stopping, the dull thuds of kicks….

The feet that flailed to escape all of it only kicked at empty air. No matter how much he struggled, he was in the same spot. But then, a black wave suddenly appeared and swallowed him whole. He was swept up in the vortex, his entire being shaken.

Soon, with nothing to hold onto, his body sinks.

Into the black, dark depths of the sea.

“Heugh….”

Joo Yeoun flinched his head and moved his lips.

Please save me. Please, save me. I’m here. Help me.

The desperate cries only echoed inside his own body. It was the same even when he screamed and shrieked.

He knows that no one is coming. He also knew the future, where he would only sink into a deeper place.

Even so, he couldn’t stop. Because he was scared.

“Kkeuk, eugh.”

“Yeoun.”

“Hngh….”

“Yeoun. Wake up.”

A low voice came from within the darkness. Where is it? It’s a voice he’s heard before. A very scary… no….

It was when he was thrashing, twisting his head this way and that. In an instant, his body was shaken hard.

Joo Yeoun’s eyes flew open.

“Heoeok…!”

A rushed breath burst out, as if he had been pulled out of the sea all at once. The body that shot up into a sitting position was drenched in cold sweat.

I had another dream. The familiar realization came. Joo Yeoun turned his head, calming his breathing as if letting out a sigh.

And he was met with a very strange sight.

A pillow was floating in midair.

“……”

Am I still dreaming?

When he blinked, the tears that had gathered at the corners of his eyes flowed down to his chin. Yeoun wiped away the copious tears and rubbed his wet eyes.

Looking again, a person’s body was attached to the pillow floating high in the air. An incredibly huge, and large…

It’s Baek Geonhyuk.

“What….”

His raspy voice was tinged with bewilderment.

Baek Geonhyuk was standing there, covering his own face with a pillow. In his just-woken state, he couldn’t guess why he was doing that. He was staring blankly when the pillow gradually, gradually came down. As if he was watching him for a moment with only his eyes peeking out, he lowered the pillow completely and spoke.

“You weren’t surprised.”

At those words, his wet eyes slowly widened.

Joo Yeoun stared up dazedly at Baek Geonhyuk’s face. He recalled what happened one dawn when he had found him in the darkness and had been terrified. The time when he would scream just from looking at his face.

His gaze fell on the pillow held by the man’s rough hands. At the same time, his eyelids grew hot, as if on fire. The breath he had managed to calm surged back up to the tip of his chin.

Baek Geonhyuk, who had placed the pillow on the bed, bent down and reached out his hand.

“You’ve sweat a lot.”

Slowly, as if concerned he might get scared.

Joo Yeoun wasn’t scared of the hand that often appeared in his nightmares. He was just busy holding back the breath that was filling his chest to the point of bursting.

But when the tips of those rough fingers touched his forehead, he fully realized his kindness.

The large hand that felt like it wouldn’t let him fall even if he held onto it with both of his own hands carefully swept back his hair. It peeled away the strands clinging to his skin and gently, gently stroked his head.

It was warm, and firm, and kind. He thought that this was something he had wished for a great deal.

In the end, the breath burst out from between the lips he had been barely keeping closed.

“Hngeuuu….”

His vision grew hot all over, and as sad and plaintive as the tears he had held back, they poured out without a chance to be stopped.

“Are you still scared?”

At the sudden outburst of crying, Baek Geonhyuk flinched and withdrew his hand. But a slender hand grabbed his wrist and pulled it closer.

“……”

Following the gentle touch, his palm met soft hair.

“My head, tou- heuk, touch it….”

The whisper, mixed with sobs, burrowed into Baek Geonhyuk’s ear. Eyes filled with tears, shimmering like the sea, looked up at him desperately.

Baek Geonhyuk froze on the spot. He barely came to his senses only after the small hand shook his wrist as if to urge him on.

When he slowly stroked his head, Joo Yeoun let out a wet breath and blinked. Large and small teardrops rolled down endlessly. At the sorrowfully crying face, Baek Geonhyuk felt his own throat tighten.

“It’s okay. It’s a dream.”

Joo Yeoun just shook his head, tears streaming down his face.

Baek Geonhyuk, who had been watching him silently, took his hand off Joo Yeoun’s head. At that, the damp eyes immediately followed his hand.

“Yeoun.”

At the low voice, Joo Yeoun raised his head. Baek Geonhyuk was standing with both arms open. When their eyes met, he gave a light nod with his eyes.

No other thoughts came to mind. Joo Yeoun, tears falling, moved toward the edge of the bed and immediately rested his head against his stomach.

The body he touched grew rigid. Feeling like he was about to be pushed away, Yeoun grabbed the hem of his clothes.

It seemed his fear was unfounded. The large hand soon wrapped around his shoulder and drew him in warmly. Warmth quickly spread through his body, which had grown cold. Even so, he got greedy and pressed himself a little closer to him. With his cheek pressed tightly against the firm stomach, he unconsciously tightened his grip on the hem of the clothes.

Baek Geonhyuk hugged Joo Yeoun’s shoulders with one arm and cupped the back of his head with the other hand. He gently stroked the fine hair and then swept the disheveled strands behind his ear. He also carefully wiped away the tears on his earlobe with his fingertips.

“Were you cold?”

“Hngh, yes….”

A wet answer came back to his question. Though between his hair and the nape of his white neck were all drenched in sweat, Baek Geonhyuk said, “Okay,” and hugged Joo Yeoun a little tighter.