Irresponsibility Chapter 5.2

The experience of waking up from a nightmare to face a pillow repeated itself several times.

Its own sequence of events even developed. If Joo Yeoun stared quietly, Baek Geonhyuk would lower the pillow, approach, and stand close. Then he would pull the covers back up and pat him on the chest.

If Joo Yeoun scowled because it felt like something one would do to a child, Baek Geonhyuk would laugh lightly and stroke Yeoun’s head. Right after waking from a nightmare, Joo Yeoun would sometimes get scared reflexively even knowing it was Baek Geonhyuk, so he would first do things like straighten the blanket or fluff the pillow.

And sometimes, he asks something out of the blue.

‘You’re not crying?’

When Joo Yeoun was too dumbfounded to speak, Baek Geonhyuk would also chuckle and shake his head.

When he had a nightmare in the early morning, he would drift back to sleep at the touch of the hand stroking his head. When he fell asleep like that, he would sleep deeply until morning came. Dreamlessly, and comfortably.

How on earth did Baek Geonhyuk know every time he had a nightmare and wake him up? Could it be that he talked loudly in his sleep?

“……”

Joo Yeoun bit his lip. In his dreams, he was frustrated because he definitely couldn’t let out a scream or a moan, but it might be different in reality.

Joo Yeoun rolled his eyes and looked at the bedroom door. The somewhat tense expression on his face slowly relaxed.

There was a smell of something baking, but he wasn’t sure what was being made. Baek Geonhyuk shouldn’t be able to bake bread.

Thinking of his pot-lid-like hands, Yeoun got up. His skin felt sticky, as if the humidity had risen, so he immediately showered in the in-room bathroom and changed his clothes. He was used to folding up the sleeves of the large T-shirt.

As he walked out, toweling his hair dry, Baek Geonhyuk poked his head out from the kitchen.

“You’re up?”

He was faster than Yeoun’s slowly walking feet. Baek Geonhyuk, who approached with wide strides and stopped in the hallway, took the towel from Joo Yeoun’s hand and dried his hair for him. After patting it dry so the water wouldn’t drip, he held the towel and glanced down slightly. A clear face was visible.

“Should I get out the fan?”

“Yeah….”

Alright, he answered, and then Baek Geonhyuk stared blankly at Joo Yeoun’s face. When his wet hair fell over his eyes, he pushed it back and smiled faintly.

The wet towel slipped away, brushing against the nape of his neck. His shoulders flinched at the ticklish sensation, and Yeoun straightened his disheveled hair. His gaze was fixed on the large back.

“I made some pancake batter and cooked some, but I don’t know if they taste any good.”

Baek Geonhyuk, who had tossed the wet towel into the laundry hamper, headed to the kitchen. Joo Yeoun trotted after him. And he stood still, watching him stand in front of the gas stove holding a spatula.

Isn’t that an arm that would look better with something other than a spatula? He was staring at the brawny forearm when Baek Geonhyuk looked back.

Are you still half-asleep? he muttered, and personally sat Yeoun down in a chair. The large hand that had gently held his wrist lightly rubbed Yeoun’s cheek before moving away.

“Eat this, and then eat your meal.”

“Pancakes a-are a meal.”

“Says who.”

“Ev-everyone says so.”

Everyone… Joo Yeoun said, and picked up his chopsticks.

It seemed Baek Geonhyuk was trying various dishes these days. Yesterday, he had made street toast, and the day before that, he had made soybean paste stew. The street toast was a little bland, but it was delicious with ketchup, and the soybean paste stew was just plain bad. It was a taste that was lacking a lot of something, but Baek Geonhyuk must have thought so too, as he said he wouldn’t make stews anymore.

He seemed to be good at making pancakes. They were nicely browned and colored well, and the way they were stacked in layers like a picture, with a pat of butter and syrup drizzled on top, looked delicious.

“Tell me if it’s not enough.”

Baek Geonhyuk, standing next to the table, said as he put a piece of pancake into his mouth. Glancing at the sink, he saw several pancakes of various shapes on a large tray. He was in the middle of eating them.

“Okay….”

Joo Yeoun put a corner of a round, pretty-shaped pancake into his mouth.

Baek Geonhyuk, who finished cooking the rest of the pancakes for him to eat as a snack, cleaned up the kitchen. After that, he brought out a fan from the room used for storage and then sat in the living room and disassembled it. It seemed he was planning to wipe it down.

Around that time, Joo Yeoun also finished his meal and sat next to him. He reached out to grab a cleaning cloth, but was quickly blocked by a large hand.

Gently pushing the white hand away, Baek Geonhyuk glanced to the side. The face that had been washed in the morning was fair.

It can’t get dirty, he thought, and said.

“It’ll kick up dust. Go sit on the sofa.”

“N-no.”

Baek Geonhyuk raised an eyebrow slightly. He soon put down the screwdriver and gently pushed Joo Yeoun’s knees with both hands. The body, which slid easily on the wooden floor, smoothly arrived at the base of the sofa. When Joo Yeoun stared with wide eyes, he raised the corners of his mouth.

Watch from there, Baek Geonhyuk said, and turned his back. Joo Yeoun considered approaching again but gave up, thinking that if he loitered around, it would just create more work for him.

He peeked out from behind the huge back, then climbed up and sat on the sofa. Only then did his view clear, and he could see the fan.

Baek Geonhyuk seemed to be good at everything physical. He was good at repairing or assembling small items, and at lifting heavy things. Joo Yeoun blankly watched him wipe down the fan he had disassembled and then reassemble it.

“I’ll go put it in your room.”

Baek Geonhyuk, who had disappeared toward the hallway and then returned, glanced at the clock. It seemed it was time for him to leave.

“Make sure you eat well.”

“Okay….”

“I’ll be back.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Joo Yeoun said.

“G-go and come back.”

At that, Baek Geonhyuk said, “Yeah, I’ll be back,” again, cupped Joo Yeoun’s cheek, and lifted his head. The eyes they met with were smiling.

He gently caressed his face with both hands, then also touched his head lightly before finally removing his hands. On his way out, he waved his large hand at Yeoun. Yeoun felt too shy to wave back, so he glanced away, pretending not to see. He thought he heard a chuckle, pssh, just before the door closed.

Left alone in the living room, Joo Yeoun lightly touched his cheek where the warmth lingered.

These days, Baek Geonhyuk had become more physically affectionate. When he thought hard about when it started, it seemed to be after the day he woke up from a nightmare and cried in his arms.

Perhaps because he hadn’t been startled then, Baek Geonhyuk touches him more freely than before. Of course, his touch was not strong. As if he would break if touched too hard, he still touched him with a great deal of the strength taken out of his hands.

As for how he felt about his intimate contact…

It was nice.

He knew that objectively, it was something to be embarrassed about. But whenever the large, warm palm touched somewhere on his body, Yeoun felt a sense of stability.

Separate from the occasional chilling feeling in his chest, a desire to have Baek Geonhyuk stroke him a little more had grown. There had also been times when he looked at Baek Geonhyuk’s broad back or chest and thought he wanted to be held.

Of course, such thoughts must never be spoken aloud. Just thinking about how he had clung to him, asking him to touch his head, still made his face flush.

It seemed that this change wasn’t entirely strange. Although they were living like friends, Baek Geonhyuk was older, wasn’t he? It was possible for him to be a little more intimate with a younger brother figure.

Although he had never stroked his own younger brother’s head or touched his cheek. Just imagining it gave him the chills a little….

Recalling the gaze that had looked down at his face while bent over, Joo Yeoun tilted his head. He didn’t think he had ever looked at his brother, or a friend, like that.

Well. Baek Geonhyuk is a very affectionate person, so it’s probably possible. Having come to a conclusion, Yeoun leaned back against the sofa and turned on the TV.

About an hour had passed with the news on. Suddenly, the sliding door opened. No one was supposed to come at this hour, so when the door suddenly opened, Joo Yeoun whipped his head around. Baek Geonhyuk was coming in.

“Huh…? Why?”

He found it strange that the man, who usually left after making him breakfast and only came back late in the afternoon, had returned before lunch.

Baek Geonhyuk approached without a word and stared at Joo Yeoun. When he looked up, their eyes met. He frowned slightly and slowly opened his mouth.

“Yeoun, I have to be away from home for about three days….”

It was somewhat disconcerting news for Yeoun as well. He had come home late before, but he had never not come home at all.

“You’ll be alright, won’t you?”

Baek Geonhyuk asked, as if reluctant.

It was sudden. But it wasn’t like he couldn’t manage, and he could fully understand why he was worried.

“I w-won’t go outside.”

Hmm? Baek Geonhyuk tilted his head. At that, Joo Yeoun hesitated and added.

“…I w-won’t do anything dangerous.”

Baek Geonhyuk, who had been raising his eyebrows, nodded, saying, Ah. Even so, the way he was staring at him seemed to doubt him, so Yeoun added more words.

“If you don’t trust me, you can p-put the camera back up.”

He felt he could endure that much. But Baek Geonhyuk waved his hand, saying, No.

“It’s not that… um, it’s not that.”

“……”

“Why am I so anxious?”

He instead asked, and tilted his head.

“W-what are you saying.”

Baek Geonhyuk let out a laugh at Joo Yeoun’s words. He smiled with a frown, then cupped Joo Yeoun’s cheek and made him meet his eyes.

“Yeoun. Even if I’m not here, you have to eat well and sleep well.”

“…Are you n-not coming back at all?”

He ignored the question asked as if in disbelief and made a few more requests. Be careful when using knives, don’t eat cold food and heat up the side dishes, don’t play games for too long, cover up with a blanket when you sleep, dry your hair….

“I’ll have Lee Hyunkyu stop by in the evening.”

“Okay….”

“But is it really okay to put the CCTV back up?”

Baek Geonhyuk’s eyes sparkled. Seeing his delighted face, Joo Yeoun answered, “No.”

“You said it was okay just now.”

“I m-misspoke.”

“How brazen.”

When Joo Yeoun nodded, the large hand gently cupping his cheek followed along. Baek Geonhyuk chuckled, pssh, and opened his mouth again.

“If you happen to need anything, or if you’re sick….”

He paused, making him wonder what he was going to say, but something anticlimactic came out.

“Tell the doctor.”

“Okay….”

“……”

After that, the way he looked at him was a little strange.

Baek Geonhyuk kept glancing at the clock but lingered for a long time before leaving. He had said he would be gone for three days, so he thought he might take some luggage, but he left empty-handed, just as he had come. It seemed he had only stopped by the house to tell him.