Irresponsibility Chapter 5.3

It was difficult not to trust Baek Geonhyuk.

At some point, Joo Yeoun stopped bringing out his resolve to ‘not trust him completely.’ He still didn’t know what kind of work he did, or exactly what he himself was involved in, but one thing was certain.

That he was protecting him.

Was it only protection? Baek Geonhyuk was doing more than that for him. His words, actions, gaze, attitude…. He could feel it even in the trivialities of daily life.

If all of that was a lie, then there would be nothing in the world he could believe.

So, Joo Yeoun had no intention of doing anything dangerous while Baek Geonhyuk was away from home. The doctor said he would only stop by in the evening, which meant there was a gap in surveillance, but that wasn’t important anymore.

Joo Yeoun glanced at the clock. It was just now lunchtime.

Only a few hours had passed since Baek Geonhyuk said he would be away, and since he was always home alone at this time anyway, there was nothing different from usual.

But he kept being conscious of it.

Since Baek Geonhyuk isn’t here today, I can do the dinner dishes myself. I won’t be able to play games because Baek Geonhyuk isn’t here. After dinner, I’ll have to use the hot compress by myself. Since Baek Geonhyuk isn’t here, I can take the heating pad into my room. Things like that.

He had been conscious of Baek Geonhyuk’s absence all day long like that, but that evening, when he heard the sound of the sliding door opening.

“Geonhyuk, I….”

He had blurted it out reflexively as he turned his head.

Joo Yeoun’s lips slowly fell as he looked at Lee Hyunkyu. He belatedly realized that he had been smiling slightly.

“The Team Leader is on a business trip. Didn’t you hear?”

Lee Hyunkyu, who rubbed his own arm, said as he came inside.

“I d-did hear, but….”

It was an awkward situation to say he had heard, or that he hadn’t, so Joo Yeoun mumbled his words. The doctor didn’t seem to care much and placed a plastic bag on the dining table.

“I brought dinner. Is there anything you need?”

“Ah, no.”

“I’m right next door, so you can tell me anytime.”

Lee Hyunkyu, who had been speaking softly, then left, saying he would get going.

Yeoun, who had been blinking blankly, looked inside the plastic bag left sitting alone on the dining table. It seemed to be packaged pork cutlet. Rustle. He withdrew his indifferent hand and sat quietly at the table.

So Baek Geonhyuk isn’t here.

Joo Yeoun found Baek Geonhyuk’s absence unfamiliar.

The lack of the smell of food when he opened his eyes in the morning, the absence of the question, ‘Did you sleep well?’ when he left his room, the absence of a hand stroking his hair.

Joo Yeoun stared silently at the kitchen, which looked much wider than when Baek Geonhyuk was there. He stood in that spot for a while before making breakfast with slow movements.

As he washed the dishes and carefully placed them back where they belonged, he realized that since Baek Geonhyuk wouldn’t be back today either, there was no need to place them so painstakingly.

Drip, drip. He stared blankly at the water droplets falling from the plate, then turned around with a sluggish movement.

Time passed slowly. He had been wondering a little since yesterday. Why he felt his absence even during the day. He was originally alone during the day, after all.

Sitting with his feet up on the sofa, Joo Yeoun fixed his gaze on the TV.

Since when did Baek Geonhyuk and I become this close? It seemed they had grown close so naturally and quickly that he couldn’t pinpoint the time.

It was summer now, so there were less than six months left until the end of the year they had promised. It was a very long time for his family, who must be desperately looking for him, and not so long for him, who sometimes forgot about his family.

The contract he had written in the spring while suspecting Baek Geonhyuk was put in that drawer, and he hadn’t taken it out once. Because there was no need to bring up the clauses of the contract to make demands.

Baek Geonhyuk had treated him so well that the clauses of the contract felt meaningless. It wasn’t easy to keep a distance from such a person. So in the end, he too had come to regard Baek Geonhyuk with intimacy.

To the point where his absence was not welcome.

“……”

Joo Yeoun picked up the remote and turned up the TV volume. Only the bright light would occasionally flash across his expressionless face.

Baek Geonhyuk flapped the shirt he was wearing and gazed into the distance. The current gleamed white on the horizon.

“Those rat-like bastards always use several connections for transport.”

He glanced behind him. A few drug addicts, dripping with filth, were sprawled on the ground, crawling around. He watched them indifferently and then took a step.

Crunch. His foot crushed the back of an addict’s hand. The scrawny face with hollowed-out cheeks swayed and looked up at him. Seeing him opening and closing his mouth and sniffing, Baek Geonhyuk clicked his tongue lowly. He was so completely gone on drugs that it seemed communication would be impossible.

“No other information has come in.”

Baek Geonhyuk asked as he moved away from the foul-smelling body.

“No, sir. It’s certain they’re here since their drugs are circulating in China. Should we dig into the addicts a bit more?”

At his subordinate’s words, he shook his head. It would be troublesome if someone noticed their presence while they were stirring things up.

“Let’s go back. Seeing as they’ve spread this much of the drug, it’s certain they haven’t found a broker to hand over the product.”

“Yes, sir.”

Brushing back his hair in the sweltering heat, Baek Geonhyuk coolly scanned his surroundings.

The organization they were chasing was not a large one. It was a setup where a small number of members handled everything from drug manufacturing to distribution, but because it was small and inherently cautious, it was difficult to track.

The reason for chasing the organization was because of the product they possessed.

Last year, the war between Salea and Uhtan ended. The tide of the war had turned due to a severe epidemic in Uhtan, and in the end, they were defeated.

But there was a top-secret fact. The reason for the defeat was not the epidemic, but water contamination in the capital.

A poison that could kill thousands with just a minuscule amount was detected in the city’s water pipes. It was a new substance, but it was clear that it was not naturally occurring. It was terrorism.

Expecting great international confusion if this fact were to become public, the investigation was conducted quietly.

The company became involved when they discovered that the source of the poison was Korea.

In fact, Korea was in a position to welcome the war ending with Salea’s victory. During the war, it had to take a step back, but after the war ended, it was in the process of strengthening its relationship with Salea by helping with reconstruction.

In this situation, if it were revealed that Korea might be involved in Uhtan’s defeat, Korea would be in a very difficult position. That Uhtan had fallen due to a poison produced in Korea, which was known to be pro-Salea. It would not be able to avoid all sorts of suspicions and rebukes from countries around the world.

After that, the company took over the investigation. As the outline became clearer, the government had to distance itself from the investigation.

In the end, it was less about recovering a dangerous item that could kill thousands and more about removing an obstacle so that Korea would not be in a disadvantageous position in the international political scene.

The organization seemed to have put the product on the black market without knowing its true value. It seemed they were now trying to find a broker to sell it properly, but it wouldn’t be easy as the investigation network was closing in from all sides. Drug distribution in Korea had also become difficult, so it seemed they were barely surviving by spreading drugs in China like this.

The last time the organization was seen in Korea was in February. Back when they had captured Joo Yeoun.

“……”

Baek Geonhyuk pictured a pale face on the road where a heat haze shimmered.

Really, Joo Yeoun had nothing to do with this. The company’s purpose was to recover the product and silence those involved, nothing more.

It was meaningless suffering.

Baek Geonhyuk’s hand, resting on the window, clenched into a fist. With his veins bulging, he stared out the window.

The pale face he had recalled grew damp. The small cheeks, the trembling eyelashes, the wavering eyes, and the lips that were constantly bitten and reddened.

‘My head, tou- heuk, touch it….’

He knew the breathing he suppressed alone after a nightmare. He also knew that he was afraid of his hands.

Joo Yeoun was that desperate, to the point of clinging to his hands. He longed for warmth and was lonely. He was earnestly hoping for help.

Baek Geonhyuk clenched his fist even tighter, as if to trap the sensation that had touched his palm. The warmth of him in his arms and the feeling of his lukewarm, dampening clothes sticking to his skin were vivid.

The responsibility grew heavier.

He had to protect Joo Yeoun. Not just from the threats related to the current case.

[The duration shall be for life.]

Just like the words written in neat handwriting. For life. He would set the duration to that and protect Joo Yeoun from everything.

So he can return to his family, go to school, graduate, and get married in the future…. So that there are no threats to such a life.

So that he can live an easy life, without harsh and painful things.

“Ah.”

Baek Geonhyuk, who had been lost in thought, suddenly frowned. There was something that bothered him.

Marriage. It wasn’t like one had to get married in this day and age, so there was no need for him to be picturing it already.

If, by chance, Joo Yeoun were to get married, he plans to thoroughly investigate the spouse. He couldn’t create the connection himself, but it had to be a good person. Someone in front of whom Joo Yeoun could smile prettily.

Baek Geonhyuk slowly savored the memory of the pale pink cheeks, the half-moon eyes, and the sparkling pupils. It would be nice if that face became an everyday occurrence.

Gazing at the desolate landscape, he muttered inadvertently.

“I miss him.”

He was worried about whether he had had another nightmare. He was also worried about whether he was eating well, and whether his fingers were hurting. He would surely be fine on his own, but it kept bothering him.

Was that the reason for his lingering steps when he had stopped by the house to inform him of his business trip?

He should be worried about Joo Yeoun’s impulsive actions, but other worries kept popping up. Like, Lee Hyunkyu won’t go into the house without knocking again, right?

This won’t do. Baek Geonhyuk rubbed his chin with a troubled expression.

When startled, Joo Yeoun seems to flinch and almost levitate. His large eyes get even wider, and he breathes in anxious gasps, and sometimes the rims of his eyes even turn red. At times like that, he wants to sit him on his lap and stroke his back for a long time.

He was aware that this was not a thought to have about a twenty-three-year-old guy.

But wasn’t this Joo Yeoun? Joo Yeoun was an exception to everything. In the first place, it didn’t make sense for a kid of that age to be so fair-skinned and gentle. Sometimes it was so amazing that it was hard to look away.

Come to think of it, a lot had changed. His gaze, directed at Joo Yeoun.

At first, it was obligatory. Close observation was necessary to see if he was in pain or if he would do anything dangerous.

But now, he can’t give a clear reason for his constantly drawn gaze. It was just hard to look away. He wanted to capture everything in his eyes, even when he cried, laughed, or made a sullen face.

Even he himself felt unfamiliar. That he had come to cherish some guy this much.

Cherish. Baek Geonhyuk repeated the word in his mouth. After also recalling the pale face, he confirmed that the word was not wrong.

He was cherishing Joo Yeoun, a lot.

Was it a problem that he had intentionally brought him to mind? The whole way back home, the pale face hovered before his eyes and wouldn’t leave.