Irresponsibility Chapter 6.3

On the table were two pieces of toast, side dishes, and rice. Just like before, Baek Ge-on-hyuk didn’t consider bread to be a proper meal.

“Here.”

A large hand placed a glass of milk in front of Yeoun.

Joo Yeoun picked up the warm toast and darted his eyes around. Baek Geonhyuk had a relaxed expression as he picked up his spoon. Even the way he ate his rice seemed nonchalant.

…For some reason, I felt a sense of injustice.

“Are you, are you gay?”

As soon as the words burst out, Baek Geonhyuk looked at me. His face was still calm.

“Are you?”

“I-I asked you first.”

When I spoke with a frown, he nodded and said, That’s right.

“No.”

He’s not gay? While I was thinking this, bewildered, a low voice asked.

“What about you, Yeoun?”

The moment I met his steady gaze, I felt inexplicably flustered. What was the question again? Only after retracing our conversation did I belatedly manage an answer.

“N-no… No… of course not.”

I was stuttering even more than usual. Joo Yeoun surreptitiously glanced at Baek Geonhyuk’s expression. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to find it suspicious, but instead, he seemed to have interpreted it differently.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to ask you to date me.”

Baek Geonhyuk smirked and picked up his spoon and chopsticks. Joo Yeoun blinked and asked.

“Why?”

Hesitation. He lifted his head. Slowly lowering the hand holding the spoon, he fixed his gaze on my clear face. The way my round eyes darted back and forth seemed like he was pondering the reason.

“Is it b-because of the age difference?”

The words that came out were a little off the topic of the conversation. Baek Geonhyuk shook his head, saying, No. At that, Joo Yeoun stared at him as if demanding an answer.

“It would make me a scumbag if I asked you to date me.”

he said with a slight frown. But Joo Yeoun asked again.

“Why?”

“……”

Baek Geonhyuk stared blankly at the object of his one-sided crush. The pale-colored lips, the black eyes, the gentle gaze… After observing him for a moment, he finally wiped his face.

“You don’t mean anything by it, do you?”

The words came out like a sigh.

Joo Yeoun’s eyes went wide. Mean anything? Was there a problem with what I said? While he was thinking it over, Baek Geonhyuk spoke.

“Really, nothing will change.”

He had that indifferent expression on his face again.

After a meal that he didn’t even know if it went in through his nose or his mouth, Joo Yeoun went back to his room.

Now, he found himself chewing over Baek Geonhyuk’s words that nothing would change.

Thinking about that firm tone made me feel a little…

A little. Well.

Of course, nothing should change.

It might not even be a bad thing. This could be an opportunity to distance myself from Baek Geonhyuk. Hadn’t I been trying to keep my distance from him in the first place?

Because I had heard such bewildering words, all the thoughts and resolutions I had were completely thrown into disarray. It was so bewildering that even the depression that had been tormenting me for the past few days failed to visit.

Joo Yeoun steeled his heart again.

He had questions, like why he’d said he liked me when he wasn’t even gay, and if that meant it wasn’t a feeling of romantic attraction, but he pushed them deep down inside.

I have to be a little clearer in my attitude toward someone who likes me. Acting ambiguously would only cause unnecessary pain. I didn’t want to do that to Baek Geonhyuk.

Late at night, Joo Yeoun quietly opened his door. The fan had made his throat dry, and he wanted some water.

He peeked his head out the open door and saw that the inside of the house was completely dark. Joo Yeoun tiptoed toward the kitchen.

Across from the kitchen, Baek Geonhyuk’s room, visible through a half-open door, was just as dark. He should have been able to see the small bed where he lay from here, but it was too dark. He was narrowing his eyes and peering into the darkness when.

“I’m over here.”

At the voice from behind him, Joo Yeoun let out a scream. Aaaack! He yelled and turned his head, and a large figure stepped back. Baek Geonhyuk, standing pressed against the sink, said, Sorry.

“Hff. Y-you didn’t even turn on the l-lights…”

At his trembling voice, Baek Geonhyuk sidestepped quietly and turned on the kitchen light. And he immediately noticed that Joo Yeoun’s eyes were red. Clicking his tongue lowly, he gently placed a hand on his dry back.

“Were you that scared?”

Until his panting breath returned to normal, Baek Geonhyuk rubbed his back and neatened the hair that had gotten messy from him jumping. Joo Yeoun, hunched over with his hands clasped in front of his chest, looked smaller than usual, so he completely removed the strength from the hand stroking his back.

“Want some water?”

Baek Geonhyuk bent down and looked into the small face as he asked. Seeing the chin nod slightly, he brought him some lukewarm water.

After drinking the water, Joo Yeoun seemed to have calmed down a little. He let out an even breath and looked up at Baek Geonhyuk.

And then, his expression hardened with a flinch, and he stepped aside. Baek Geonhyuk’s hand, which had been gently stroking his back, almost but not quite touching, was left hanging in the air.

Joo Yeoun hesitated, placing the cup on the table. Clink. A small sound was made. A low voice followed.

“If you weren’t avoiding me because it was obvious, then what’s the reason?”

“……”

“Yeoun, then why are you avoiding me?”

Baek Geonhyuk placed a hand on the table and tilted his head. His tone wasn’t accusatory; it was more like he was asking out of curiosity.

Joo Yeoun’s lips parted, and he spoke.

“I-I wasn’t really avoiding you?”

“You were.”

“…W-we’re not really in a p-position to be close, anyway.”

Hm. Baek Geonhyuk made a rumbling sound in his throat. Glance. Yeoun’s gaze, which had darted to his face and back, plummeted to the tabletop.

“W-we just need to k-keep to ourselves. We o-only have a few months left anyway.”

“A few months?”

At the question, Joo Yeoun hesitantly raised his head.

“We agreed I’d s-stay here until the end of the year. It’s r-right for us to keep some distance.”

“……”

At those words, Baek Geonhyuk stared at Joo Yeoun silently. He seemed to be mulling over his words, and then his expression twisted into a cynical one. His hand on the table made a small noise as he tapped it.

It was an unusual reaction, and Joo Yeoun was scared. The gaze that had intended to look up at him confidently sank helplessly downward.

“Yeoun.”

When Baek Geonhyuk opened his mouth, the round eyes flickered upward slightly before sticking to the floor again. At the sight of his face, which looked as if he’d just been scolded, Baek Geonhyuk’s expression softened.

“You can’t just think on your own and come to a conclusion.”

Listening to the low voice, Joo Yeoun bit his lip. Baek Geonhyuk looked at him intently for a moment before leaving. As he, who had been blocking the way like a wall, disappeared, the surroundings grew brighter.

But it was dark.

Joo Yeoun kept his head down and his eyes wide open. He felt like he had been left all alone in a dark house. It was chilly, and lonely.

“Read this.”

But that feeling vanished as soon as Baek Geonhyuk returned. With his lips pressed firmly together, he looked up at him, and he tapped the top of the table. Tap, tap.

Joo Yeoun followed the sound with his eyes. A single piece of paper lay under the light of the table lamp. A contract written in his own handwriting. Something he had never taken out to look at.

“It’s a clause you wrote.”

Baek Geonhyuk pointed to a certain part of the contract. The words his rough fingertip pointed to came into view.

“You said for life. You can’t write it and then forget.”

Party B has a duty to protect Party A.
3-1) The term shall be for life.

“I’m ready.”

Joo Yeoun slowly raised his head. He didn’t know what kind of expression he had expected Baek Geonhyuk to have, but it certainly wasn’t that kind face.

“This… t-this is…”

His words broke off foolishly. Only after letting out a few fragmented words could he form a proper sentence.

“This is about protecting me from y-your boss.”

“It doesn’t say that.”

Baek Geonhyuk retorted coolly.

“It’s a dangerous world, so I’m planning on close-quarters protection.”

“……”

“We have to stay very close.”

For life. At the added words, emphasized as if for effect, Joo Yeoun’s eyes widened. He darted his eyes around, at a loss, then stammered.

“It w-was my first time, my first time writing a c-contract…”

“Life is the real deal.”

What to do. He sympathized with Yeoun in a tone that was not the least bit pitiful.

I was at a loss for words. Baek Geonhyuk had been saying things that sounded like jokes all along, but I couldn’t refute them. My head was spinning.

Maybe it was because it was late at night, or maybe the word ‘lifelong’ was too sudden.

Maybe it had come so suddenly and made my heart and head feel a little strange.

“Now do you see how scary contracts can be?”

He felt a familiar sensation on the back of his head. The large hand stroking it ever so carefully.

Soon, a voice of the same timber pierced his ear.

“If you’re doing this because you don’t like me, I won’t bother you. But…”

Baek Geonhyuk trailed off, tilting his head. Their eyes met up close.

“I don’t think that’s it.”

Unable to even avoid the gaze that met his, Joo Yeoun just bit his lip.

He saw right through me. I was by no means avoiding him because I disliked him.

If so, had he also seen through my desire to stay closer by his side? A sudden fear washed over me.

“W-what do you know.”

Joo Yeoun spat out the aggressive words and spun around. Swish. He heard a light laugh from behind him.