Irresponsibility Chapter 7.3

“Are you scared?”

Joo Yeoun, who had been walking carefully, opened his eyes wide and looked up. Baek Geonhyuk was watching him from the bottom of the stairs.

“No…”

He seemed to be asking because he knew he was scared of all sorts of things, but he didn’t have a fear of stairs. However, he stared at him as if gauging whether he was telling the truth. Left with no choice, Yeoun opened his mouth.

“M-my legs hurt.”

At those words, Baek Geonhyuk strode up the stairs. Taking them three at a time, he was soon standing just below him, carefully examining his legs. When he flinched at a hand that lightly brushed his knee, he pulled his hand back and asked.

“I didn’t hear anything. Why. Did you fall?”

Yeoun, who had been staring at him blankly, belatedly waved his hands in denial. When he added the explanation that his muscles seemed to have knotted up from standing for a long time yesterday, Baek Geonhyuk finally straightened up. Standing two steps below him, their eye levels were about the same.

“Then I’ll have to carry you down.”

“…D-do you have to?”

“There’s no choice.”

Correcting him, Baek Geonhyuk opened his arms.

His legs weren’t broken, and there was no reason to be carried down by him. He tried to duck his head under the thick forearm blocking the stairs, but he made a sharp hissing sound.

“You shouldn’t fool around on the stairs, Yeoun.”

Who’s the one fooling around here. When Yeoun glared at him, he wiggled his arms. The way he just stood there watching him, it was clear he had no intention of moving.

Joo Yeoun sighed and wrapped his arms around his neck. It was a dangerous act on the narrow stairs, but Baek Geonhyuk didn’t waver at all. The arm that wrapped under his thighs was also firm.

He was suddenly reminded of last night. The time he had thrown his arms around him, the time he had kissed him.

Watching the stairs slowly recede, Joo Yeoun furtively rolled his eyes. Out of the corner of his eye, he could only see the nape of his neck with its short-cropped hair.

“We’re here.”

Are the stairs a little short? Baek Geonhyuk, who had muttered this, bent down and slowly set Joo Yeoun down. As the soles of his feet touched the floor, Joo Yeoun also unwrapped his arms from his neck.

His face was close, just like last night. What had he been thinking in that brief moment? When he straightened up and moved away, it felt like he had missed something.

“Go wash up.”

Baek Geonhyuk said simply and stroked his head. There must have been a part that was sticking up, as he pressed one spot several times with his fingertips, then chuckled and withdrew his hand.

Joo Yeoun watched Baek Geonhyuk head for the kitchen for a moment before turning away.

He was troubled. The kiss yesterday was reason enough, but Baek Geonhyuk’s seemingly nonchalant attitude made him even more confused. It was to the point where the absurd thought, Did I dream it all? crossed his mind, so he kept sneaking glances at him while eating breakfast.

“I’m planning to take the day off today.”

Baek Geonhyuk said, perhaps misinterpreting his watchful gaze. Joo Yeoun nodded. His worries were his worries, but that was certainly welcome news.

After breakfast, he didn’t go anywhere else and lingered in front of the kitchen. It was because he couldn’t see Baek Geonhyuk very well from the living room while he was doing the dishes.

It was as if his restraints had completely come undone since yesterday. It was hard to hold back his impulses, and his actions preceded his thoughts.

Normally, Baek Geonhyuk would have asked, “Why. You want something?” but he only said, “Sit on the chair.” So he followed his words.

After finishing the dishes, Baek Geonhyuk turned around and found Joo Yeoun sitting obediently in the chair, and the corners of his mouth lifted slightly.

“Want to watch a movie?”

“Yeah…”

As always, at the somewhat listless reply, his eyes curved. He soon strode over and cupped the small face.

Joo Yeoun grew a little tense under his gaze, which looked down at him quietly. His eyes roamed obsessively over his face.

But he soon withdrew his hands and moved away.

It was the same when they were watching the movie. At some point, Joo Yeoun noticed that Baek Geonhyuk was looking at his face instead of the TV.

So he turned his head and looked back at him. As they listened to the sound of the movie playing, their eyes met in the slightly dim space.

It was a moment when a strange heat began to rise. Baek Geonhyuk turned his head and fixed his gaze on the TV. Looking at his face, which seemed to be concentrating on the movie, Joo Yeoun furrowed his brow.

It was similar after that as well. Whenever their eyes met, they would stick together like magnets, but Baek Geonhyuk was always the one to break away first.

He’s the one who kissed me.

Although he had hugged him first, it was Baek Geonhyuk who had initiated the kiss. And to say nothing after that. Shouldn’t he say something about what to do now? Is it a thing for people in their thirties to kiss and then just stay friends as if nothing happened?

The feelings that had been slowly building up finally erupted that night, when they were lying together on his bed.

“Good night.”

At the affectionate good-night greeting, Joo Yeoun sat bolt upright. And when he whipped his head around, the large man who had been about to get into bed froze.

“W-why did you kiss me?”

Since he had been pretending not to know all along, he had expected him to be flustered. But Baek Geonhyuk opened his mouth nonchalantly.

“I did it because I couldn’t hold back… but I don’t think that’s what you’re asking.”

At Yeoun’s fierce gaze, he finished his sentence lamely. He fiddled with his own cheek and then asked.

“Do you want to pretend it never happened?”

His tone was just as nonchalant. Joo Yeoun blinked blankly, then crumpled his brow in anger.

“You… are you r-really trash?”

When he asked, trembling with a feeling akin to betrayal, Baek Geonhyuk let out a laugh.

Shaking his shoulders with laughter, he climbed onto the bed. He sat close enough for their knees to touch, then took Yeoun’s cheeks and made him look at him.

“I was going to give you some time to think.”

Baek Geonhyuk gently caressed his flushed cheek. He then looked at his face for a long time before muttering, This won’t do.

At the touch that lightly flicked the tip of his nose, Yeoun reflexively blinked his eyes open. The gentle face had already come closer, and a light touch brushed against his lips before pulling away. When he looked up with wide eyes, he said softly.

“Yeoun, should we date?”

The skin where his low voice touched tingled. His gaze and the hand on his cheek gave him the same sensation.

He became inexplicably anxious. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from his, which were so close. He simply wanted to do everything that Baek Geonhyuk suggested.

It was baffling. It wasn’t that he had wanted him to ask him to date, but he couldn’t understand his own reaction. The word ‘no’ simply wouldn’t come out. It wasn’t even a difficult word to pronounce.

“Hm?” Baek Geonhyuk gently prompted. Unable to move his gaze from him in the slightest, Joo Yeoun opened his mouth.

“B-between men…”

“What does it matter.”

He answered coolly. His words made dating someone of the same sex seem like a trivial matter. He had just blurted it out, but he himself wasn’t even sure if that was a major obstacle in the first place.

In truth, the fact that they had kissed said it all. Even before that, from the moment he had longed for his touch or his embrace, the fact that they were both men might not have been an issue. So it was an insufficient reason for refusal. Joo Yeoun found another reason.

“I’m s-selfish.”

“Everyone’s selfish.”

Me too. The voice that added this was deep. His gaze also seemed to have darkened, and when he carefully looked up, he raised his eyebrows playfully.

“What else.”

“Later…”

As he started to speak, he swallowed dryly.

“Later, what if you get… get mad at me and want to break up?”

“I’d get mad at you?”

Baek Geonhyuk tilted his head. His attitude was as if such a thing would never happen. A chill ran down his spine, and Joo Yeoun bit his lip firmly and said.

“I-it could happen.”

At those words, he seemed to think it over. The voice that came out after a moment was slow and firm.

“Even if I get mad, there will never be a time I want to break up.”

“…Even if you’re r-really mad?”

“Yes. If I was going to break up, I wouldn’t have even started.”

He said it as if to himself and then chuckled. As he stared at him blankly, he met his eyes.

“So think carefully before you answer. If you say ‘yes,’ we have to keep dating.”

Forever. Baek Geonhyuk said it as if he were trying to scare him.

His anxiety grew. His heart was beating fast, and his face felt hot. Not knowing what to do, Joo Yeoun let his eyes wander in the air before hastily speaking.

“Lately, I’ve been too d-d-dependent on you…”

“That’s exciting.”

“I’m n-not kidding.”

“Neither am I.”

Baek Geonhyuk tapped the discontentedly furrowed brow with his fingertip and opened his mouth.