Irresponsibility Chapter 7.4

“I feel a little… when you rely on me.”

He trailed off, then chuckled as if the word he had chosen was amusing.

“Ecstatic.”

But he wasn’t smiling as he let out the low voice. With Yeoun’s face reflected in his dark, sunken eyes, he spoke slowly.

“I like it when you act like you can’t live without me, but at other times, that scares me.”

“…”

“I’m scared you’ll get hurt.”

Adding those words, he gently rubbed the pale cheek with his thumb.

“Are you scared?”

The clear face asked. At the tone, which seemed to ask if he, too, had things he was afraid of, Baek Geonhyuk laughed silently.

Yes, I’m scared. Answering softly, he took Joo Yeoun’s right hand. He carefully enveloped the hand that felt as light as if it would break and bowed his head.

“…”

Yeoun quietly watched him press a kiss to his fingertips. The corners of his eyes grew hot, and when he gently closed and opened them, the large man holding his hand became even clearer.

One important fact also becomes clear. That a life without holding his hand is too painful.

“I’m still not sure… I’m not sure….”

Unlike before, Yeoun’s voice was weak. His gaze was wavering as much as his heart.

With his lips still pressed to the thin-skinned back of his hand, Baek Geonhyuk’s eyes curved slightly.

“Then we’ll have to try and see.”

Speaking as if he had no choice, he intertwined his fingers with Yeoun’s. With his other hand, he caresses his cheek, brushes back his hair, and looks at him affectionately.

I have to try and see. Joo Yeoun mulled over the words he had heard before.

“…Y-you said we can’t break up if we date, f-for our whole lives.”

“Ah, you caught me.”

Baek Geonhyuk said, as if disappointed. In the midst of it all, Joo Yeoun felt a sense of bewilderment. That must have shown on his face, because Baek Geonhyuk let out a laugh.

The sound of his laughter tickled the corners of Yeoun’s mouth. While trying to control the corners of his mouth that kept wanting to turn up, Yeoun deliberately averted his eyes and said.

“Y-you’re also old.”

At those words, the low laughter rang out louder. In the end, the corners of Yeoun’s mouth also curled upward.

An insistent gaze immediately latched onto the faintly curved lips. Baek Geonhyuk, who had stopped laughing and was staring intently, only slowly withdrew his gaze after Joo Yeoun bit his lip as if to hide it.

“If I were about ten years older, I wouldn’t have brought it up either.”

Wondering what he meant, he stared at him, and he explained nonchalantly.

“A ten-year age gap is a cradle robber. That’s just too shameless.”

“…”

He and he were nine years apart. Is there a difference?

“We’re just right.”

“…You’re really c-confident.”

“Thank you.”

Baek Geonhyuk smiled loosely. At a loss for words, Joo Yeoun’s lips just moved up and down before he finally shut them. After a moment of silence, he tilted his head and said.

“Is that all now?”

“…”

No matter how hard he wracked his brain, he couldn’t think of any more reasons. Reasons to let go of the clasped hands or the meeting gazes.

Baek Geonhyuk was smiling faintly, and it was becoming harder to bear. The unresolved issues receded far into the distance as his five senses became busy taking him in.

“Let’s date, you and I.”

“Yeah…”

At the gentle suggestion, the answer he had been holding back flowed out easily.

“Yeah?”

Baek Geonhyuk met his eyes and asked again. When he answered, “Yeah…” again, his intertwined fingers briefly straightened before lightly returning to the back of his hand.

He gazed at Yeoun. His gaze flickered over his long hair, the hand he was holding, and the knee that was touching his thigh.

Letting out a soft breath, he soon tilted his head, and Yeoun closed his eyes.

Everything was clearer than that time. Without the sound of rain, the surroundings were quiet, and the sound of his lips meeting and parting from his, and the sound of their tongues intertwining and saliva mixing was distinct.

When he grabbed his shoulder at the shiver that ran down his spine as his tongue swept the roof of his mouth, the rustling of the blanket and the rough texture of the palm slowly rubbing his nape were also clear.

“Hahh…”

Joo Yeoun panted, clutching the firm shoulder. Licking his lips from which a sweet breath was escaping, Baek Geonhyuk slowly opened his eyes.

His downcast eyelashes trembled, and his fine brow was furrowed. When he lightly rubbed his nape, his shoulders flinched.

“Come closer.”

Baek Geonhyuk, who had let out a cracked voice, grabbed his thin waist and pulled him closer. He settled the light weight on his lap and lifted his head, and the face with flushed cheeks was panting and looking at him. The corners of his eyes, which sometimes tensed up, were loosely relaxed.

His gaze, which had been on the down-turned corners of his eyes, soon settled on the lips from which something sweet kept flowing.

“Hands on my neck.”

He was thirsty. As soon as the slender arms wrapped around his neck, he pressed his lips against his again.

He licked the plump lips and gently bit them between his teeth, and Joo Yeoun made a sound, “Nngh.” It was a clear sign of refusal, and a laugh escaped even in his state of excitement.

Because their lips were touching, Joo Yeoun felt his laugh and opened his eyes. But when Baek Geonhyuk gripped his waist as if stroking it and pushed his tongue between his lips, he gently closed his eyes again.

The tips of their tongues met lightly, tap, tap. As if getting impatient, Joo Yeoun pulled Baek Geonhyuk’s nape a little closer.

Naturally, Baek Geonhyuk did not refuse his touch. With one hand holding the small back of his head, he greedily wrapped his tongue around the soft flesh. When a small moan escaped, he swallowed it, and when a tongue peeked out from between his lips, he persistently bit and sucked on it.

Baek Geonhyuk furrowed his brow and twisted his jaw. Even though they were touching, he felt greedy. He stuck his tongue out so far that the root of his tongue pulled and tried to delve deep into the small mouth.

“Nngh…”

Just then, a light touch tapped his shoulder.

Baek Geonhyuk gently closed his eyes and opened them, pulling his head back. A sense of longing remained, and when he stared intently at the glistening lips, Joo Yeoun stealthily covered his own mouth.

“Should we stop.”

Kiss. When he kissed the back of that hand, the slender hand shot back in surprise. Joo Yeoun, who had curled his hand into a fist, averted his eyes and said.

“I-it’s… time to sleep now.”

And you have to go to work…. Baek Geonhyuk glanced at the mumbling lips for a moment, then lowered his head slightly.

As his gaze went downward, Joo Yeoun clutched the blanket. With his cheeks flushed red, he hesitantly got off of Baek Geonhyuk’s body.

Baek Geonhyuk gazed at Joo Yeoun as he covered himself with the blanket and lay down, then finally smiled faintly and said.

“Good night.”

“Y-you too.”

Joo Yeoun, who had spoken awkwardly, bent his knees slightly. He pointlessly straightened the blanket he was well-covered in, then squeezed his eyes shut.

Unlike the other nights when Baek Geonhyuk was by his side, that day, he did not fall asleep easily.

I’ll come in the morning

When he opened his eyes, it was a note stuck to the back of his hand.

Just until the day before yesterday, the thought of Baek Geonhyuk not being in this house made his heart feel empty, but it was different now. Because he would come.

Yeoun rolled over on the wide bed and got down to the floor. Standing with his feet on the floor, he realized that the muscle pain was less than yesterday.

Yeoun, who patted his thighs, held the note up to the opaque sunlight coming in through the window. A faint smile curved his lips as he looked at the rough handwriting.

Going down the stairs, his thighs hurt so he had to walk slowly, but from the bottom, his steps were light.

He put the note in the desk drawer in his room that Baek Geonhyuk had brought in, and came out after washing up in the bathroom. He immediately sensed a presence and peeked his head out to see Baek Geonhyuk entering through the front door.

“You’re up early.”

“Yeah…”

Joo Yeoun watched Baek Geonhyuk approach.

Yesterday’s events felt like a dream. Not a bad dream, but something so good it felt like a dream. He felt that it had been a very long time since something like that had happened to him.

He stopped in front of him, and seeing him standing still, he tilted his head and looked into his face as if he found it strange. When he looked up, he furrowed his brow slightly.

“First thing in the morning…”

Baek Geonhyuk, who had let out some incomprehensible words, chuckled. Then, cupping Joo Yeoun’s cheeks, he gave him a light kiss. His lips landed on the clear cheek from washing his face, and also below the round eyes that were staring up at him.

At the sensation on his lower eyelid, Joo Yeoun reflexively flinched his eyes shut and open. Baek Geonhyuk, who had let out a laugh, lightly dried his hair with the towel around his neck and turned away.