Irresponsibility Chapter 8.1

I had not yet had an occasion to wear sneakers that were a perfect fit for my feet. But I often wore the slippers that weren’t too big, which let me walk without having to curl my toes. When I went to meet Baek Geonhyuk.

Baek Geonhyuk had told me not to come out early since it was hot, but today, Joo Yeoun came out about 10 minutes early again to wait for him.

“You’re out here again.”

The person he was waiting for appeared below the stone steps where he had been quietly gazing. He had heard the sound of a car, so he already knew he would appear soon. That was why he had kept watching without looking away.

Baek Geonhyuk let out a silent laugh and walked up the steps. He climbed two or three steps at a time and immediately pulled Joo Yeoun into a hug. He also left a trail of small kisses on his cheek and lips.

Hugging his waist and rubbing his lips on the soft cheek, Baek Geonhyuk let out a sigh, “Ah.” Then, burying his nose in the nape of his white neck, he took a deep breath and let out another sigh, “Ah.”

“You’re a, a little bit like a pervert.”

To the words Joo Yeoun uttered while being held docilely, Baek Geonhyuk pulled his head back. A little bit? he asked back, then said nonchalantly.

“That’s a relief.”

“…”

As I stared at him, at a loss for words, Baek Geonhyuk smirked and held out his hand. Joo Yeoun naturally placed his hand in his.

It had now become a daily routine for him to climb these stairs, hold my hand, and head home by circling around the yard.

And if there was time before dinner, Baek Geonhyuk would massage my hand. Today was the same.

Saying it was hot, Baek Geonhyuk sat on the floor and pulled me toward him. I sat facing him and offered my hand, but he suddenly said.

“Yeoun, sit here.”

Pat, pat. He said this while patting his thick thighs.

“…You’re not going to massage my hand?”

Being held was nice, but Yeoun liked it when he massaged his hand. It felt like the unpleasant pain that had continued until he arrived would stop then.

“No. I think this position will be more comfortable for massaging your hand.”

“Why, why is that?”

“Because I’m right-handed.”

An indifferent answer came back to the question I asked. Both he and I were right-handed, so for which of us was it supposed to be comfortable?

Baek Geonhyuk casually grabbed Joo Yeoun’s knees, turned him around, and pulled him in by the waist. It was a position that made him sit leaning against his chest.

Joo Yeoun thought that being right-handed and this position had absolutely no correlation, but he sat on his thigh as he was led. When he held my hands with both of his, it was as if I was completely trapped between his thick arms.

“Perfect.”

Baek Geonhyuk lowered his head, gave Joo Yeoun a peck on the cheek, and gently massaged his hands. As the familiar touch continued, even the unfamiliar position grew more and more comfortable.

Watching the rough hands carefully massage his own, Joo Yeoun slowly relaxed his body and leaned completely against him.

It was so comfortable that his body grew languid. Blinking his eyes slowly, Yeoun fixed his gaze on the large hands intertwined with his.

A moment later, Baek Geonhyuk tilted his head to look at his face. When I looked up at him a bit sluggishly, he let out a smirk. He kissed my cheek, then lifted the hand he was holding and kissed the back of it, peck, peck.

“Done. Let’s have dinner now.”

My body felt so limp that I just stayed in his arms, so Baek Geonhyuk helped me up and held my hand. The large hand only let go after seating me in a dining chair.

Joo Yeoun sat in the chair and watched him. I did not refuse what Baek Geonhyuk had told me to do.

It was something I wouldn’t have done in the past, but it didn’t matter anymore.

The same went for the side dishes Baek Geonhyuk placed on top of my rice. I liked that he took care of me, so sometimes I would scoop up a spoonful of rice and then deliberately drink some water, waiting for his chopsticks. Then, he would slightly curve his eyes and place a side dish for me. There was even a time when he had stood up to shower me with small kisses, only to sit back down, saying disappointedly, “I have to feed you….”

Naturally, meal times became a little longer.

But it wasn’t just because Baek Geonhyuk was using his chopsticks for me, or because he was kissing and holding my hand.

“Back then, I, I rode the bike almost until evening.”

I had become a bit more talkative.

“That must have been pretty tiring.”

Baek Geonhyuk said as he deboned a piece of fish and placed it on my rice.

“It was autumn, so it was cool and not very tiring.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… I, I liked the sound of the fallen leaves, too.”

Joo Yeoun nodded and brought the rice topped with the fish to his mouth. As I was chewing thoroughly with my mouth full, Baek Geonhyuk said.

“Let’s ride bikes in the autumn, too.”

“Here?”

Joo Yeoun, with his cheeks puffed out, opened his eyes wide. Then again, the yard was large enough that it seemed like we could ride bikes without any problem.

“This year, here.”

At Baek Geonhyuk’s softly added words, Joo Yeoun blinked his eyes rapidly. And then he soon nodded.

“Yeah… Ne, next year, let’s ride somewhere else.”

“Okay.”

Baek Geonhyuk replied and smiled faintly.

Talking often about things after this year, having longer meals because of our conversations, and quietly watching his broad back as he did the dishes. All the changes that had occurred in that time were to my liking.

There was only one complaint. That the time, which flowed so slowly during the day, went by too fast in the evening.

“Should we go to bed now?”

Even at his refreshing voice, Joo Yeoun pretended not to hear and kept his eyes fixed on the TV without looking back. He had his thigh pressed right up against Baek Geonhyuk’s thick one, and was holding tightly onto his large hand.

“Why have you been going to bed so late these days?”

Joo Yeoun furtively shifted his eyes. Baek Geonhyuk was looking at him from the side.

“You know why, so wh, why ask.”

He laughed at those words. I know? His questioning voice was also mixed with laughter.

Glaring slightly, Joo Yeoun turned off the TV and got up. But Baek Geonhyuk didn’t get up with him, so the hand he was holding hung down heavily.

“Aren’t you coming?”

“I’m a little sad to go to sleep.”

“Yeah. Then I’ll, I’ll go to bed first.”

Yeoun tried to pull his hand away, but he caught his fingertips. Then, pressing down gently on his fingernails, he asked softly.

“Should we go to bed just 5 minutes later?”

Joo Yeoun stared at his fingertips being held by the large hand. The spot where they were touching, just by the length of a finger joint, felt strangely hot.

Hmm? Baek Geonhyuk pulled his hand. It was a weak touch holding only the very end, so approaching him was purely my own will. When we were close enough for our knees to touch, he pulled me in by the waist. Yeoun fell into his arms as if collapsing onto his body.

Naturally, their lips met. Feeling the large hand stroking down his back, Joo Yeoun placed his hands on his shoulders.

Joo Yeoun’s hands would fidget, not knowing what to do, or grip his shoulders so tightly that his fingertips turned white. The longer the kiss went on, the stronger he would clutch his shoulders, and the more his chest would swell.

“Breathe properly.”

The low voice that pierced right into his ear made Yeoun flinch his shoulders. As he straightened his head, which had been tilted to the side, and looked down, he kissed my cheek.

“Breathe. Yeoun.”

“Hooooo…”

As I let out a long breath I had been holding, Baek Geonhyuk smiled faintly. He waited for Yeoun to catch his breath, patting his back.

It was when his heaving chest had calmed.

“Go on up ahead.”

“…”

Let’s go to sleep. At his words, Yeoun looked at him for a moment before getting off his lap.

As I headed for the stairs, all my attention was focused behind me.

Being held by him, there was no way I wouldn’t know. Baek Geonhyuk was clearly hard for me.

I was no different. When our kisses deepened, I would feel heat pooling in my lower body.

To be honest, I had been very flustered at first. It was the same on the day I started dating him. Not knowing what to do, I had hidden under the covers as if running away, waiting for the heat to subside.

It was a sexual desire I had forgotten for quite some time, due to being physically and mentally exhausted. But to think I would react to a kiss with a man so much bigger than me.

Joo Yeoun went into Baek Geonhyuk’s room alone and lay down on the bed. Since he wasn’t coming, there was no way I could fall asleep, so I stared at the ceiling and blinked slowly.

Baek Geonhyuk, who came in a moment later, was about to lie down on the bed but then gave me a contemplative look.

“You’re not asleep?”

“Yeah…”

At the small reply, Baek Geonhyuk took Joo Yeoun’s hand from under the covers. When I turned my head to look at him, he said, “I’ll just hold your hand and sleep.”

Joo Yeoun stared intently at his lover, who was lying at some distance from him. And he asked quietly.

“But why do we only hold hands?”

“…”

The question, asked clearly without a stutter, dealt Baek Geonhyuk quite a blow. He was silent for a moment before belatedly covering his eyes. The lips beneath his rough hand curved, and laughter escaped.

“We?”

After needlessly asking back, he chuckled for a while and then turned on his side. With a faint hint of laughter remaining in his eyes, he took in Yeoun’s face and asked languidly.

“Besides my hand, where else can I hold.”

“I, I’ll know once you try to hold it.”

At the answer Joo Yeoun gave while slightly averting his eyes, the laughter gradually faded from Baek Geonhyuk’s face.

I thought he didn’t like it, he muttered, and looked at Yeoun with a slightly subdued gaze.

“In that case…”

He began slowly and sat up. A large shadow fell over the lying Yeoun.

“I’m going to start holding you now, so you have to tell me how it is.”

“…”

When I just looked at him without answering, Baek Geonhyuk met my eyes and gave a slight nod. When I nodded back, the corners of his dark eyes curved into a round shape.

The blanket Baek Geonhyuk pulled down brushed against my body as it moved away. I felt a little chilly.

Perhaps I had unconsciously hunched my shoulders, because a large hand covered my shoulder. Then it slowly traced up the line of my neck and fiddled with my earlobe. As he gently put the tip of his finger inside my ear and lightly scratched the auricle, the shoulders I had just managed to relax shot right back up.