In This Life I Will Die as an Actress Not a Villainess Chapter 165

The script QYN sent over was completed through episode 8.

Minyeong unnie had firmly conveyed our position that we’d only read the script, not wanting to raise QYN’s expectations unnecessarily.

But after reading the entire script in one sitting, my thoughts were different.

This project told the story of a protagonist who lost their family in a childhood fire, became a firefighter, and tracked down the arsonist behind the past incident.

The most crucial element was that the grown protagonist, still tormented by trauma from the past, gained a special ability to sense heat.

The protagonist Park Inha was a pitiful character crushed by both guilt over being the sole survivor of the fire and grief over losing her family.

Park Inha became a firefighter as if by fate, using her ability, but that ability came with tremendous risks.

Her superior ability to sense heat came at the cost of hyperactive pain receptors, causing her to suffer several times more than others.

Park Inha risked her life saving people using that ability as if punishing herself, while pursuing the serial arsonist who’d killed her family.

Among the story’s developments, one part moved me most emotionally.

The section where Park Inha met teammates who reached out to her for the first time and found salvation.

Park Inha, who believed in her ability and moved independently, and the teammates busy trying to stop her, began trusting each other and came to rely on one another after surviving countless life-threatening moments together.

While reading the script, I pulled out tissues to wipe away tears several times.

This was the most emotionally moving script I’d read recently.

“Ugh, it’s so sad.”

I wiped my nose and fell into contemplation.

I found myself wishing this project would make it out into the world.

I reread the production intent written in the project synopsis.

‘…Above all, this project shows the raw reality of firefighters. It depicts exactly as is their safety and working conditions that fall far short of their honor, and society’s indifference. And it captures the struggle of warriors who risk their lives diving in to save someone regardless of the situation.’

This project’s production intent struck right at society’s heart.

The issue of improving firefighters’ treatment was a social topic continuously raised both in my past life and now.

I desperately wanted to participate in such a meaningful drama.

In my past life, I probably never saw it because of budget issues, casting problems, and a host of other complications.

The script clearly showed it was a large-scale production and carried numerous harsh challenges.

Though the content could easily sustain 16 episodes, traces of forcing it into 8 episodes were visible throughout.

“God, I really want to do this.”

I was muttering to myself when right on cue, Minyeong unnie’s call came through.

“Yes, unnie.”

Unnie, hearing the moisture in my tearful voice, quickly moved to block me.

-No, absolutely not.

Hearing that made me burst into laughter.

“Unnie, did you read the script?”

-No, absolutely not.

Unnie’s rigid attitude struck me as somewhat strange.

Unnie normally preferred good projects over ones that seemed promising, definitely.

-They quoted fifteen hundred for the fee.

“Ah.”

It was less than half the guarantee HBC had offered.

-The script’s decent, but it’s still rough and needs a lot of work. Plus both the writer and director are complete rookies.

“I see…”

My confusion about unnie’s reaction began slowly clearing up.

-Outside investment will probably come in after casting you, using your name value.

I could hear Jinseok oppa’s voice beside unnie over the phone too.

-Absolutely not, seriously. This is them latching onto one actor hoping they’ll carry everything.

Listening to his voice verging on anger, I pressed my lips firmly shut.

These two had never opposed something this strongly before.

I tried to answer calmly.

“But the script’s so fun. The best I’ve read recently. I really like that it’s about firefighters too.”

-…

“And this won’t happen anyway, but even if they did carry the project with just my name—so what.”

The two on the other end fell silent at my rebuttal.

“Either way, even if I’d joined the HBC project, I would’ve had to prove myself standing alone in the same situation.”

-No, that’s not— Let’s speak properly. How is the situation the same? There, you just needed to act well, but with this project you’d have to worry about production and investment too.

“I don’t really care about the fee… unnie, do you feel differently?”

My voice gradually grew smaller.

This was the delicate part.

No matter how close we were, an actor’s income wasn’t just the actor’s issue.

“And I could cut my fee even more and add it to the production budget…”

Over the phone, I could clearly picture unnie’s frowning face.

-Who cares about the fee, Sena. With how much money you’ve brought into our company, would I tell you to hand that over?

“…”

-Positive influence, that’s all great. But a top actress cutting her fee to do a project actually looks bad.

Listening to unnie’s calm voice, I began gradually feeling the wall I couldn’t easily overcome.

-You’re not at a point where you should just watch your own path anymore. Think about the juniors below you and the supporting actors in that project. If you take less, those people take less too.

Unnie laid out point after point, all correct.

-What you’re doing with good intentions breaks the industry. Maybe the right path is you giving up this project and a talented newcomer taking it on instead.

Thinking about it differently, every single point was correct.

I didn’t want to push back against unnie blocking me so firmly either.

Because she cared about my future path as much as I did.

“Then I’ll think about it more.”

I answered in a deflated voice.

-Yeah, bring me other projects. I won’t oppose whatever you bring.

The faint hope I’d had of persuading unnie vanished with her final words.

-Anything, just not this project.

“Understood.”

I hung up and let out a short sigh.

Why is nothing this easy.

* * *

[HBC Special Project <The Perfect Man> Crank-In Complete]

[HBC Special Project, Lee Jeonggil Solo Lead!]

[Lee Jeonggil, HBC Special Project <The Perfect Man> Fee of 80 Million Per Episode Revealed…]

A few days later, HBC released articles I’d never expected.

In the end, HBC had changed the gender of the female lead solo project’s protagonist to navigate the casting difficulties.

A few days before the articles dropped, HBC had conveyed their willingness to replace the director, but I’d declined the role to the very end.

Even if I took on the project like that, in an industry rife with rumors, I’d only become known as the actress who pushed out the director to get cast.

Plus given Director So Jaehyeong’s personality, he definitely wouldn’t stay quiet after being pushed aside like that.

Thinking about the aftermath gave me a headache.

I’d thought that was the end of it, but I found myself facing another problem.

“That damn HBC again.”

[HBC <The Perfect Man> Originally A Female Lead Solo Project?]

[<The Perfect Man>’s Original Protagonist Was Han Sena!]

[Han Sena Declines Five-Thousand Fee Offer]

[Rodriguez’s Leading Lady, Now Five Thousand Isn’t Enough]

[HBC and Han Sena’s Troubled History Complete Summary]

-Han Sena’s per-episode price is five thousand, damn. Is that not enough? Now she’s really made it.

-HBC must be really upset. Gave Lee Jeonggil eight thousand and betting they’ll do better lolol

-After changing actors they got more confident, huh. Well, it is Lee Jeonggil. Already looking forward to the action.

-Didn’t see Han Sena that way but her pride’s sky-high. Perfect timing for celebrity disease. One wrong move and the fall’s instantaneous tsk tsk

Watching the hate comments flood in made my mood sour.

HBC had been openly media-playing from before, and they were starting to seriously grate on my nerves.

What are they even trying to do?

While the QYN project was on hold and I was choosing my next work, my nerves got needlessly on edge.

Minyeong unnie was pissed too.

-Ah, these bastards are seriously asking to die. From now on, we’re absolutely blacklisting them. So annoying.

Hearing unnie curse made me feel refreshed too.

Fine, let’s stop caring.

I shook it off and stood up.

At times like these, it’s better to work yourself to exhaustion.

* * *

SCBS radio booth.

“Wow, Dogyeom-ssi, it’s been so long!”

I’d been invited as a guest on the radio show hosted by North Star’s Jang Dogyeom at SCBS.

Jang Dogyeom and I exchanged bright, warm greetings.

While I’d been filming several projects, Jang Dogyeom had also released several albums and become a top figure in both radio DJ and drama OST circles.

Jang Dogyeom opened with thanks, mentioning our previous encounter.

“It’s no exaggeration to say Sena-ssi discovered me.”

“What are you saying, Dogyeom-ssi? You’re a talent who would’ve been discovered by anyone.”

Jang Dogyeom laughed happily and shifted topics.

“By the way Sena-ssi, how am I supposed to feel about you making it to Billboard before me?”

Hearing that made me burst out laughing.

“The album you appeared in the music video for is a strong candidate for Billboard’s year-end chart awards. Congratulations in advance.”

“Oh my, goodness. Thank you. But it’s not my album.”

When I waved my hands, Jang Dogyeom also burst into laughter.

The staff sitting outside the booth were also smiling warmly.

“Did I sing anything? Did I do a single line of narration? It’s not my album, everyone.”

When I made my case—not really a case—Jang Dogyeom kept playfully teasing me as if enjoying it.

His previously shy, reserved demeanor had mostly disappeared.

He’d probably met many people while being active, and he seemed quite happy to see me.

Jang Dogyeom asked the question written in his script playfully.

“When will you appear in our music video?”

“You have to invite me first!”

“If I invite you, will you come??”

“Of course!!”

“What an honor. So… now for the question everyone’s curious about. What are your plans for your next project?”

At Jang Dogyeom’s question, the other staff also craned their necks to look at me.

The writers’ script mentioned the HBC controversy.

Jang Dogyeom tactfully skipped the uncomfortable questions and asked.

“Will your next project be domestic?”

But this question was equally flustering since I’d deliberately avoided answering it in other interviews so far.

As I hesitated to answer, the PD outside the booth looked at me anxiously.

Because more than 3 seconds of dead air is forbidden on radio broadcasts.

I had to do something—either brush it off or answer honestly.

I counted to three silently.

Three, two, one…

I opened my mouth.