In This Life I Will Die as an Actress Not a Villainess Chapter 60

For quite some time, each word I tossed out made the audience buzz with joy and disappointment.

Sighs from fans who couldn’t complete their bingos drifted through the air.

I knew it.

Soon, gift baskets appeared from backstage.

I grabbed the microphone.

“Sixth place was ‘What perfume do you wear?’ Truth is, I’m more of a soap person than perfume. So this is the soap and hand cream I use—now the fundamentals can smell the same as me.”

“Oh my, how thoughtful. Sena-ssi.”

Touched voices from the fans echoed through the venue.

After wrapping up the bingo game, I began reading fan letters chosen at random on stage.

“Hello, unnie. Actually, I’m five years older than you, but I’ll just call you unnie. Today is actually my wedding day. Oh! Who is this?”

As I read the letter and looked up at the audience in surprise, a woman shyly raised her hand.

“Wait, your wedding… your wedding is…?”

“It overlapped with the fan meeting date, so I postponed it!”

The entire audience erupted into gasps.

I felt a little panicked too.

“No, but still… oh my, I don’t know where to put myself. Thank you so much!”

Starting with this letter, a stream of gushing or deeply moving stories continued.

‘I’m someone who started dreaming of becoming an actor after watching your performance. I know I’m starting at a late age, but I’ll work hard.’

‘Hello, noona. Please look at the second page. It’s our marriage registration form.’

‘We’re a couple in our fifties. Our daughter, who we lost in an accident long ago, resembles Sena-ssi so much. The first day we saw you in a drama, we sat in front of the television for hours.’

The last story made my heart ache.

The audience quickly turned into a sea of tears.

I burst out laughing and then choked up several times, my voice growing hoarse from the repetition.

“Fundamentals, thank you so much for the letters. I’m taking all of these home to read every single one.”

The fans nodded with reddened eyes.

That’s when the MC clapped to shift the atmosphere.

“Now, everyone. The climax starts now!”

At the MC’s words, here it comes, I thought, squeezing my eyes shut.

“Everyone… this was your most flooding request. I swear I’m doing this with my eyes closed!”

A familiar vibration flowed from the speakers.

<Welcome! It’s your first time with Berry Chu, right?>

The music came on and my body moved on its own like I was possessed.

Flashes erupted from the audience along with all kinds of screams.

A literal pandemonium of laughter.

By now my mental state had become so tattered that I actually felt kind of okay.

I flailed my arms and legs wildly, dancing my heart out.

If my fundamentals are happy…

That’s all that matters.

After the long three minutes passed, I sang nonstop through my signature songs and a ballad rewritten for the fans.

My breath quickly rose to my throat.

It was a moment where I gained immense respect for all the singers and idols out there.

After finishing both the songs and performances, in the blink of an eye it was time to part.

“Why is time so short! I’m so sad to leave, everyone.”

My feet truly wouldn’t move from genuine reluctance.

But somehow the fans weren’t showing much outward sadness.

Wait, was the three-hour event too much after all?

Am I the only one who’s sad?

I waved my hand enthusiastically at the fans with a smile.

“Then let’s meet again!”

Just as I turned around, suddenly all the lights went out.

What, is this a stage accident?

I stopped my steps heading offstage.

I was about to turn the microphone back on to explain to the audience when suddenly small lights sparked on in the audience.

Gentle glows like fireflies appeared in the distance.

As I slowly walked toward the front of the stage, the tiny lights gradually multiplied until they filled the entire audience.

Between the lights, I could see each fan holding slogans in their hands.

<Han Sena, Thank You for Becoming an Actress>

Who would spring something like this on me…

As I gazed at the audience filled with beautiful lights, tears filled my eyes before I could stop them.

Soft music flowed from the speakers behind me.

The fans smiled as they began singing their response song in unison.

It was a very old, classic ballad.

Only today did we meet.

I had so many questions about you, so many things I wanted to say.

It’s okay if I can’t ask everything.

It’s okay if you can’t tell me everything.

Your warmth that lingered by my side

Was answer enough for me

Just with my love for you

I’m already overflowing

With each line the fans sang, tears streamed down uncontrollably.

The feeling of being loved filled me from my fingertips to my toes.

For the first time, watching myself cry like a child, I realized once again.

That I’d wanted moments like this so badly.

That I’d wanted to be loved.

As an actress, and as a person—I’d wanted people to love me.

For a long, long time.

The fans’ ballad continued at length.

* * *

That night.

I uploaded two photos to the fan cafe.

Photos the staff had uploaded—one taken from the stage facing the audience, and my selfie.

Looking at them still made my heart swell.

「First group photo with the fundamentals but only my eyes are all puffy… My manager oppa is teasing me next to me asking if I can even look at my phone screen, saying I resemble a goldfish. How cruel. Still, I’m going to stay up all night reading the fan letters tonight. Thank you so, so much for coming, and I love the fundamentals who couldn’t make it today too.」

I looked at the photos several times before lying down in my cozy bed.

I should get this photo printed and hang it in my room.

It felt like it would be a warm night.

* * *

A few days after successfully completing the fan meeting.

After rolling around for days, I finally pulled myself together and sat in front of my vanity.

That’s when my door burst open.

“Daughter, let’s eat. Huh? Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah, how do I look? Pretty?”

At that, Dad’s eyebrows scrunched up.

“What is it, did you get a boyfriend?”

“You always jump to boyfriend. I’m just trying to make some friends.”

“A celebrity social gathering, something like that?”

Dad crossed his arms while holding a ladle, and Mom came running from the living room.

“Is Jang Donghyuk going too?!”

At that, I shook my head and picked up my handbag.

“Why would such a legendary senior come…? It’s a gathering for actors my age. This is my first time going too.”

“Want Dad to pick you up when the gathering’s over?”

At those words, I smiled and shook my head.

“It’s okay. You two have dinner together tonight.”

“Why would I pick you up? Hm?”

Dad followed me all the way to the entrance.

“I said it’s okay. Go eat dinner quickly.”

I finally pushed him away and closed the door.

As I pressed the elevator button and waited, I felt nervous somehow.

In both my past life and current life, I’d never really gone to social gatherings, always using work as an excuse.

But…

‘A thank-you for the fan meeting? Sena-ssi taught me acting before. Let’s call it even with that. Ah, no, don’t do that—come to our gathering. Attendance is mandatory!’

Lee Seokhyun had suddenly invited me to a gathering.

If it had been other actors, I might have hesitated, but somehow with Lee Seokhyun, it felt worth checking out.

Not simply because Lee Seokhyun was a top-tier actor, but because he seemed to have a good eye for people.

The more I knew him, the more peculiar he was.

Thirty minutes later, I arrived at a small restaurant without my manager.

When I opened the door and walked in, the group of people sitting in the center welcomed me.

Lee Seokhyun waved happily in my direction.

Aside from them and a few staff members, the place was completely empty.

“Sena-ssi, hello! I’ve been wanting to meet you.”

Familiar faces from here and there greeted me.

How should I put this.

It felt like walking into a really old TV show.

From idols I’d forgotten about, to actors whose oldest news stories were their current updates.

I broke into a cold sweat watching the actor couple known for their public relationship.

That guy’s going to cheat and marry someone else soon.

I deliberately looked away and turned my head…

“Huh?”

There was a surprisingly familiar face.

“We’ve met before, right?”

Seo Jaeyeon sat there leisurely and tilted her head to the side.

Wow, she’s disgustingly pretty, for real.

I felt like I might get drawn in by her face.

I gave Seo Jaeyeon a slight nod.

Seo Jaeyeon and I were in a state of friction—not quite friction—over the Palace Flower casting issue without even knowing each other.

From Seo Jaeyeon’s perspective, she’d been negotiating appearance fees for the role of Sunim at the same time as Lee Nara, but then I took the lead role and it all fell through.

I sat down with a deliberately calm smile.

“Feel free to relax. We rent this whole place whenever we meet. It’s my acquaintance’s shop.”

After simple introductions of names and ages from everyone, I received a drink.

“Are there any interesting scripts floating around lately?”

“That one was fun. Layback.”

The atmosphere was more comfortable than expected, and lots of information circulated.

“But that writer has such a personality, ugh.”

“Don’t even mention it… Sena-ssi, have you decided on your next project?”

Everyone’s attention suddenly turned toward me.

“No, I haven’t decided yet.”

“Oh come on, no way. You’ve got to strike while the iron’s hot!”

At that, I laughed.

“Right. But I poured so much energy into Palace Flower that I haven’t even looked at other scripts.”

“Oh my, what? Really? I thought you’d already be filming your next project. Then give me your contact info!”

An actress sitting in the distance suddenly thrust her phone at me.

Seong Minhui.

Although her acting career wasn’t particularly long, she was someone who’d swept lead roles during Korea’s golden age of cinema.

Seeing her in person, her long, open eyes were even more captivating.

With those eyes, she looked at me with a sparkle.

What’s this about?

Without understanding why, I entered my number and handed the phone back.

The conversation continued.

Naturally, acting feedback about their current projects came up.

More scholarly than I expected?

“Hey, you really come alive in romance. Should’ve done it earlier. You would’ve completely devoured Lee Seokhyun.”

“Just thinking about Lee Seokhyun makes my stomach hurt.”

Everyone knocked back drinks one by one while cackling.

“But the role is too hard. I don’t want to get called ahjussi yet.”

That’s when Seo Jaeyeon, who’d been quietly drinking, spoke up.

“Your diction is too textbook, oppa. It’s an advantage elsewhere, but if you change your delivery style now, you’ll suddenly get called a bad actor. Just compete with your acting skills.”

Pretty sharp insight.

Then Seong Minhui asked Seo Jaeyeon a question.

“Jaeyeon, have you decided to do that detective drama?”

At that, Seo Jaeyeon looked straight at me and answered.

“Yeah. I locked it in for sure this time.”

I could feel people becoming conscious of me.

Seriously, just relying on that face. Making people uncomfortable.

I deliberately maintained my composure as if nothing was wrong.

“The company tried to make me reconsider again, but I told them not to. I learned from someone, you know. When there’s something you want to do, you have to go all in with certainty.”