In This Life I Will Die as an Actress Not a Villainess Chapter 64

-Seon Yuseok: Noona, what are you working on? Why didn’t you tell me?!

“Huh?”

Minyeong unnie, who’d been looking at her monitor, raised her head again at my words.

“What?”

“I got a message from Yuseok. Who told him?”

“Eunseo-ssi, maybe? They’re classmates.”

“Ah…”

Guess they keep in touch more than I thought.

While I was debating how to reply, unnie tossed out her opinion.

“Yeah, Seon Yuseok’s not bad.”

“Yuseok?”

“Yeah. Assuming his acting has improved.”

As I read the message without responding, Seon Yuseok started spiraling.

-Noona, I was just kidding. Don’t feel pressured!

-…But when did you start planning this?

-How could you not tell me something like this?

-I should’ve insisted on leaving the company with you back then…

I typed ‘calm down.’

Another reply came immediately.

-Noona, can’t you at least let me audition for it?

Breaking into a cold sweat at those words, I sent another reply.

-Hey, what audition between us? You’re in!

The reason I couldn’t readily agree to cast Seon Yuseok wasn’t just about his acting skills.

Speaking of acting ability, Kkotbyeol was also still at an insufficient stage.

However, Kkotbyeol was in a position of steadily preparing for debut, so showing her face on video would be valuable experience for her.

If things went well and word of mouth spread, it could lead to good opportunities.

But Seon Yuseok’s case was different.

Seon Yuseok was a trainee being developed by a major actor-focused agency, and he was in a position of preparing for debut after a long period of training.

Having his first face reveal in my raw amateur work could actually end up being a negative compared to the effort he’d put in.

Even with the audition rejection, Seon Yuseok kept stubbornly whining.

-Then let me show you how much my acting has improved, at least.

My head was pounding, so I impulsively sent an okay emoji.

Seeing my expression, unnie smiled knowingly without even hearing the conversation.

Two hours later.

“You said that yourself. Trust is like rat poison here. And after saying that, what if you trust me?”

In the in-house practice room, Seon Yuseok delivered the final line with an intensity I’d never seen from him before.

“…”

Silence filled the practice room.

Next to me, Minyeong unnie’s eyes shook rapidly as she watched Seon Yuseok.

I too was speechless at the unbelievable sight before me.

It was an improvised scene I’d only given him the basic situation for.

When, how did his acting improve like this?

Seon Yuseok had instantly assimilated into the character I’d created.

No matter what acting he did before, he’d only ever seemed kind.

Yuseok’s gentle nature was so large and solid that the scripted character couldn’t easily break through it.

Seon Yuseok looked at both our expressions and grinned through the silence.

“I got through to you. I did well, right? Right?”

Then Minyeong unnie wiped away her surprised expression and shrugged.

“That new trainer must be pretty good, huh?”

Seon Yuseok narrowed his brow as if disappointed.

“I practiced so much! Sena noona, how was I?”

I hesitated briefly at that question.

I liked it more than expected.

Enough to make me want to work with him.

However, there was still one thing bothering me.

“I love it. But only if you can get company permission.”

Then Seon Yuseok answered with a ‘that’s nothing’ kind of face.

“Actually, I already got permission.”

“What?!”

Minyeong unnie reflexively blurted out.

“I just asked the company in case, you know. What they’d think about doing my first project like this, wanting to audition, stuff like that. It felt a bit much to move forward completely on my own.”

It made absolutely no sense.

“Why would they give permission…?”

At my unconscious words, Seon Yuseok scratched his head as if he didn’t quite understand either.

“At first they firmly said absolutely not, but when I mentioned you two noonas’ names, they suddenly gave permission.”

Hearing this, Minyeong unnie and I made eye contact simultaneously.

Both of us had expressions showing we had no idea what was going on.

“So… I’m cast, right?”

* * *

The day after casting Seon Yuseok, a cafe in Gangnam.

After recruiting actors one by one, I was sitting face to face with the final member who’d be joining our film.

Won Hyerim sunbaenim.

“So that’s why I’m trying to film this kind of video.”

The words rushed out from my eagerness.

I’d boldly started this project, but…

“…That’s why I really need you, sunbaenim. Could I ask for your help?”

I looked at sunbaenim’s face with a trembling heart.

I never imagined when I first met this person that we’d meet so often and for so long.

How did our paths cross again like this?

Sunbaenim seemed lost in thought for a moment as she sipped her tea.

My heart was pounding for no reason.

But unexpected words flowed from sunbaenim’s lips as she set down her teacup.

“I’m jealous.”

“…?”

I looked at sunbaenim in surprise.

“When I was your age, why didn’t I think to do things like that? I should’ve just freely tried whatever I wanted to do.”

I was flustered, unable to think of an appropriate response.

It was just a casting story for a small video.

Sunbaenim also seemed to have brought it up not expecting an answer, as she began sharing her own story.

“I was always so desperate just to be recognized as an actor. My family situation meant I had to support them, so mentally I was struggling even after making a decent name for myself.”

It was the first time I’d heard this story.

“Ah…”

“I always lived harshly, always busy. That’s why I couldn’t get married and ended up like this. Ugh.”

Sunbaenim let out a playful sigh.

I smiled awkwardly too.

Just hearing a few words made my heart stir pathetically.

Because I knew better than anyone that desperate feeling of having to chase reality over dreams, that busy heart.

This person had always seemed to shine in my previous life.

Confident everywhere, boldly expanding her acting spectrum as a veteran actor.

In truth, maintaining that confidence required a foundation of relentless determination.

“That’s why seeing you makes me think you’re so beautiful, Sena. With your youth this beautiful, how could I refuse?”

Those words made my nose tingle.

Am I really qualified to hear words like this, when I’m just someone who coincidentally got a special opportunity?

At least in my mind, this person’s relentless determination is more beautiful than my youth.

I kept those words to myself.

I smiled hard and answered sunbaenim playfully.

“Sunbaenim, you can start doing whatever you want from now on too! Like, for example… Lee Jingyu sunbaenim style.”

Lee Jingyu was a comedian-turned-actor who’d bombed several film productions.

A figure known in the film industry as a massive negative force.

Then sunbaenim laughed out loud.

“That sunbaenim is amazing too. Even after spectacularly bombing, he tries again. But that sunbaenim started directing while young like you, so people just accept it. If I suddenly started directing now, I’d hear things like ‘showing her old-age greed’ or ‘veteran mobilizing juniors to start projects.'”

“Oh sunbaenim. That’s way too much self-reflection.”

“Too much, nothing. Anyway, this lifetime I plan to just live the way I’ve been living. I’d just like to add my name to your ambition this time.”

At those words, I clenched both fists tightly.

“I’ll serve you with everything I’ve got, sunbaenim!”

* * *

A remote island off the southern coast.

Hot sunlight beat down on the weathered dock.

“You really found a place like this!”

“They really said the boat only comes twice every two days. I’m a little scared.”

In the distance, the cast led by Won Hyerim sunbaenim disembarked from the boat and approached, fanning their faces.

Beside me, the sunbaenim who’d arrived on the island with me earlier swallowed nervously, seemingly a bit tense at the sight of the actor group.

The actors also approached, then widened their eyes when they confirmed the face of the person standing next to me.

“Oh?! Hello, sunbaenim!”

“Hello. I look forward to working with you.”

“Oh my, Heeyeong oppa!”

Won Hyerim sunbaenim ran over with an unusually bright face and threw her arms around Jang Heeyeong sunbaenim.

“Ugh, gross, what’s this!”

Won Hyerim sunbaenim paid no mind and grabbed Jang Heeyeong sunbaenim’s hand.

“How many years has it been, hm?”

Then Jang Heeyeong sunbaenim also smiled with the corners of his eyes crinkling, seeming secretly happy.

“Let’s see, we filmed <You in My Arms> and that was already 10 years ago, right?”

“Exactly. How have we not seen each other even once since then?”

Won Hyerim sunbaenim, who’d been smiling brightly, turned to me with a puzzled face.

“Wait, how do you know Heeyeong oppa, Sena?”

All the actors’ eyes focused on me.

I smiled awkwardly as I answered.

“I received acting coaching at Teacher Yoon Youngjae’s theater practice room before. I met him briefly then.”

“Oh my, really? But why didn’t you bring Teacher Yoon Youngjae this time?”

As Won Hyerim sunbaenim asked playfully, this time Jang Heeyeong sunbaenim answered.

“I snatched him away. When Teacher Yoon Youngjae was preparing Palace Flower, I was so jealous during the video filming! My stomach hurt.”

Everyone burst into laughter at his cheerful answer.

In that warm atmosphere, as we walked toward the prepared pension, Kim Eunseo threw out a question.

“By the way, is this script the final version?”

Hearing that question, I smiled slightly.

I was wondering when this would come up.

Then Yuri-ssi beside me also fanned herself gently with the script and tilted her head.

“Sena-ssi, the storyline is good, but to me the dialogue feels a bit plain.”

“That’s exactly it, everyone.”

At my answer, silence fell for a moment.

Kkotbyeol swallowed nervously, looking flustered.

“…?”

“My script focuses on flow rather than dialogue. I made the dialogue plain on purpose.”

Then Jaehyung-ssi also raised his hand.

“On purpose?”

“Yes. It felt like a waste to give you all such talented people a rigid script. From now on, you can all act freely.”

Then Jang Heeyeong sunbaenim nodded as if he understood.

“So, liberal ad-libbing? Something like that?”

“You could interpret it that way. My work needs to draw out the actors’ depth to its maximum. To create tension.”

“This is going to be a really interesting project!”

Seon Yuseok called out in an enthusiastic voice.

“Right. It’s good to film at least one movie by actors, for actors, isn’t it?”

Then I continued explaining the filming method.

From the moment we arrived at the pension, the stand camera installed in the room would follow whoever was delivering lines—it was both the main camera and the only camera.

Other than that, I planned to hold the camera myself and follow the actors depending on the situation.

The remaining scenes would be captured in wide shots by eight budget DSLR cameras set up at the corners of the pension rooms and in the front yard.

And as mentioned earlier, they could ad-lib as much as they wanted as long as they didn’t stray from the script content.

After hearing the explanation, Won Hyerim sunbaenim chuckled.

“Good. Then from now on.”

She pulled out a tacky headband she’d prepared from her bag.

“I become Yeongsil.”