The Espers Who Regretted Losing Me Chapter 53

“You’re crying again, crying again.” Watching the tears suddenly burst out, I replied indifferently.

“Do you usually cry that much?”

“Huh? Ah, n-no. I don’t usually cry. R-really.”

Maybe embarrassed by what he said, Lee Shinra’s face quickly turned red.

On the face dripping with tears, so thin it was shocking, overlapped the rude and blunt face from a month ago.

And also the bright, smiling face from when he was young, and even earlier, the 모습 of him sniffling and hurting no matter what was said to him.

‘…So annoying.’

It’s not that Lee Shinra is annoying. It’s just that this whole situation is a headache.

Then, from far away, a boom! sound rang out.

Lee Shinra hurriedly pulled me into his arms, and I turned my gaze toward where the loud noise came from.

The volcano finally erupted.

Lava flowed down, and gray smoke and ash quickly rose into the sky.

“I-it’s okay, noona. Don’t worry. You can just stay with me….”

I’m not worried. It’s been a while since I even thought that, but I trust their abilities.

It’s just that it was already hot, and being held made it even more suffocating.

Before, I would’ve endured it without saying anything, but now there was no reason to.

I looked up at Lee Shinra’s pale face and said,

“Then just hold my hand. This is suffocating.”

If it were Lee Shinra from a month ago, his expression would’ve stiffened the moment I said that.

But now, like someone struck by lightning, he hurriedly let go of his arms.

“S-sorry, noona. H-hand, I mean, I’d like to hold it… but if it makes you uncomfortable, I don’t have to.”

He apologized right away. Hand? Of course, he didn’t even grab it.

‘Well, it’s better than being treated carelessly….’

Acting like he made a huge mistake with a face about to cry makes me feel like I’m bullying a kid.

I suddenly grabbed Lee Shinra’s hand, and with my other hand touched near my neck as I answered casually,

“Holding hands isn’t uncomfortable. More importantly, I can’t see well because of the smoke—are the other two okay?”

“…Y-yes! They’re okay. Hyung Dogyeong is over there, around that area, grabbing the guardian’s tail and slamming it to the ground. Ah, and Hyung Eunhwi just got there too.”

Lee Shinra stretched his hand in one direction and explained eagerly.

Of course, I couldn’t see anything, nor hear anything.

‘Still, slamming it to the ground… that feels a bit complicated. Just an hour ago, he was rubbing his head against my cheek acting cute.’

Just as I started to feel uneasy, thinking everything might be because of my guiding, light broke through the smoke.

And then, a translucent window appeared in front of me.

[ The ‘Guardian of Paradise’ will never let its treasure be taken by intruders. Those who attack the guardian will be forcibly expelled from the gate. ]

After that, a strong wind blew.

It didn’t take long for the scenery, which had been close to hell, to return to normal.

The acrid smoke and black ash all disappeared, leaving only a sweet flower scent.

A blue shining sky, a sparkling sun, and green land full of flowers and trees.

The lake that had been bubbling with purple foam became clear again, and the volcano that had erupted like a disaster returned to normal.

‘It’s exactly the same as back then.’

Even the big hole open up there.

I wasn’t surprised since I had experienced this a month ago, but Lee Shinra just stared blankly around.

And when the gate leading outside opened in front of us, he looked at me nervously.

“H-hyeya noona….”

I could feel the strongest anxiety yet.

It seemed like he was worried I might refuse to go back.

Honestly, I hesitated too.

‘If I just don’t do guiding, maybe I can live peacefully again.’

The problem is, there’s no way Lee Shinra would just watch that happen.

‘He’d probably drag me out anyway, right?’

A sigh slipped out at the complicated thought.

Right then, Lee Shinra said something I never expected.

“If you want to stay here, um, I won’t force you to leave. But… then, please let me stay with you too….”

I doubted my ears several times at his timid voice.

Noticing my surprised gaze, Lee Shinra lowered his head deeply and kept mumbling.

“I-I won’t talk to you carelessly. I won’t act close either, I’ll just watch from far away.”

“No….”

“Please, noona. Even if I’m in pain, you don’t have to guide me. You can ignore me like I don’t exist. So, just let me stay by your side.”

Tears dripped onto the neatly grown grass.

It felt awkward and complicated. Bitter and restless.

Wrapped in mixed emotions, I stared at his trembling shoulders and let out a sigh.

‘I thought he wouldn’t consider my opinion at all.’

The Lee Shinra I knew was like that.

No matter what I said, he would respond bluntly and make a habit of putting me down.

‘Yeon Dogyeong and Cha Eunhwi have changed a lot too.’

The problem was, like I thought earlier, I didn’t know how long that attitude would last.

It’s only been about an hour since we reunited. Too short to understand a person.

‘But if I stay with him and he suddenly gets a nosebleed, vomits blood, or collapses in pain again, could I really ignore that?’

I don’t know. Right now, I can say a hundred, a thousand times that I would ignore it.

But if it actually happens, I’d probably guide him again.

‘And then this place would turn into hell again, and the monsters would target me….’

A deep sigh escaped.

Lee Shinra specializes in barriers and recovery, so it won’t be easy to clear it like this again.

That’s not all.

This gate was very strange and unusual.

During the month I stayed here, cracks leading outside appeared several times—it could happen again.

‘Well, I could just pretend it’s a phenomenon I’ve never seen before, but Lee Shinra might suddenly come to his senses and drag me out. By then, Cha Eunhwi and Yeon Dogyeong would probably be even more worked up….’

“….”

As my thoughts kept chaining together, I frowned hard.

‘Learning really is scary.’

Even though they’re the ones acting submissive now, I’m already getting stressed and being dragged along.

‘Even though I was acting all miserable, saying I’d die here.’

I looked back and forth between the crack that was starting to shrink from the edges and Lee Shinra, who was focused only on me.

‘Why am I like this now? Saying “get lost!” isn’t really possible after everything that’s piled up.’

It’s not just a lot—it’s enough to make me curse.

‘Even if this ruined life gets worse, it’ll just go back to how it was before.’

If that’s the case, it might be less unfair to just make these troublemakers suffer as much as I want.

I thought of Yeon Dogyeong and Lee Shinra, who used to run their mouths like disasters.

And I decided to become a troublemaker too.

“What was your name again?”

“…Huh? S-Shinra. Shinra. Lee Shinra.”

“Right, Lee Shinra. Since I called myself your noona, I’ll speak casually. But don’t misunderstand—I don’t mean I want to get close.”

I spoke clearly, letting out a sigh and shaking my head.

“Those two earlier, and you too—I honestly don’t want to get close. You say you’re sorry and that you’ve done a lot wrong, but so what? That’s how I felt.”

Standing awkwardly, Lee Shinra just stared at me blankly.

“Even now, I’d rather kick you out and live here alone peacefully and quietly again, but….”

“N-no….”

“Yeah, you say no. So it can’t be helped. I’ll go out with you, but before that, there’s something I want to make clear.”

At the words about leaving, Lee Shinra’s eyes lit up and he nodded quickly.

Seeing such an unusually innocent look, I hesitated for a moment before continuing.

“I’ll say this to the other two as well, but whether I regain my memories or not, promise me you won’t treat me carelessly or force this ‘guiding’ thing on me.”